Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:22,467 --> 00:00:23,994
Jimmy, brah,
2
00:00:23,995 --> 00:00:27,231
you will not believe the
illness I got into last night.
3
00:00:27,232 --> 00:00:28,770
Where the hell have you been?!
4
00:00:28,771 --> 00:00:30,748
People magazine is
coming to interview me.
5
00:00:30,749 --> 00:00:32,984
And thus, as per our munificent
6
00:00:32,985 --> 00:00:35,128
landlord-transient squatter agreement,
7
00:00:35,129 --> 00:00:37,814
you need to make me some toast
soldiers for sustenance.
8
00:00:37,815 --> 00:00:39,347
Then, when they arrive,
9
00:00:39,348 --> 00:00:41,691
tell them how I selflessly saved you
10
00:00:41,692 --> 00:00:44,104
from a life living in a trash can
11
00:00:44,105 --> 00:00:46,667
like the green fellow
in that puppet slum.
12
00:00:46,668 --> 00:00:48,704
Come on, now. Oh, and as you cook,
13
00:00:48,705 --> 00:00:50,772
do that thing where you
babble incessantly,
14
00:00:50,773 --> 00:00:53,508
and my mind goes blank like
I'm in a hot air balloon,
15
00:00:53,509 --> 00:00:55,193
floating, floating.
16
00:00:55,194 --> 00:00:57,232
It so calms my nerves.
17
00:00:57,233 --> 00:01:02,005
Cool. So, there I was at Boudoir
Bar for New School Rap Night.
18
00:01:02,006 --> 00:01:06,008
My Tinder date, a strawberry
blonde with respectable Cs.
19
00:01:06,009 --> 00:01:08,510
Oh, side note, I've developed
this dating technique.
20
00:01:08,511 --> 00:01:11,246
It's like negging, but
wicked sensitive.
21
00:01:11,247 --> 00:01:13,548
Ah, yes, that's it.
22
00:01:13,549 --> 00:01:15,535
So what happened? She
eat your dick or what?
23
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,554
Uh...
24
00:01:19,555 --> 00:01:21,990
mo-mostly hand stuff.
25
00:01:21,991 --> 00:01:24,074
Nice!
26
00:01:24,075 --> 00:01:26,344
Gettin' some knuckle
on the first date.
27
00:01:27,331 --> 00:01:28,883
I don't know.
28
00:01:29,615 --> 00:01:31,663
No. Just go...
29
00:01:34,688 --> 00:01:38,796
So, Jimmy, uh, te-tell me
more about this interview.
30
00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:41,848
Uh, well, my publisher arranged it.
31
00:01:41,849 --> 00:01:45,309
Um, I'm going to suggest
we do it at Soho House.
32
00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:47,512
Soho House? Last time I was there,
33
00:01:47,513 --> 00:01:49,846
I puked in Kristen
Stewart's bowler hat.
34
00:01:49,847 --> 00:01:53,135
Shit, I'm still fungry!
35
00:01:54,335 --> 00:01:55,887
Yo!
36
00:01:55,888 --> 00:01:58,256
We got hella new snackies!
37
00:01:58,257 --> 00:02:00,291
Cheesy crackers? "F" to the yeah.
38
00:02:00,292 --> 00:02:02,877
Edgar, you're a goddamn genius.
39
00:02:05,547 --> 00:02:07,397
Okay.
40
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,785
I'm heading to my room.
41
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,271
But first,
42
00:02:14,272 --> 00:02:17,359
I got to hork down all these
cheesy bitches right quick.
43
00:02:28,343 --> 00:02:34,013
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:02:34,014 --> 00:02:37,295
? I'm gonna leave you anyway ?
45
00:02:37,296 --> 00:02:39,362
? I'm gonna leave you anyway ?
46
00:02:39,363 --> 00:02:41,849
? Gonna leave you anyway. ?
47
00:02:48,088 --> 00:02:49,803
- What's she doing here?
- I don't know.
48
00:02:49,804 --> 00:02:51,908
- Well, are you guys back together?
- I don't know!
49
00:02:51,909 --> 00:02:54,045
Oh, man, this sort of
situational murkiness
50
00:02:54,046 --> 00:02:56,621
with no road map for
success makes me anxious.
51
00:02:56,622 --> 00:02:58,006
It's the fog of war, bro.
52
00:02:58,007 --> 00:02:59,382
It reminds me of this one time
53
00:02:59,383 --> 00:03:01,113
in the Al Anbar province.
There was this little boy
54
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,486
who was wearing...
55
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:04,988
They're here.
56
00:03:04,989 --> 00:03:06,957
Okay, um... I'll invite them in.
57
00:03:06,958 --> 00:03:09,253
"Hello, hello. Jimmy's a saint."
58
00:03:09,254 --> 00:03:12,128
Then you disappear, and
we'll head down Sunset
59
00:03:12,129 --> 00:03:14,532
and straight into the pages of
America's favorite purveyor
60
00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:16,313
of soft journalism.
61
00:03:19,604 --> 00:03:22,473
- James, so lovely to see you again.
- I...
62
00:03:22,474 --> 00:03:24,875
- Oh. Oh.
- Oh. Oh. Yup.
63
00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:27,277
Oh. Three.
64
00:03:27,278 --> 00:03:29,413
- This is Genevieve from People.
- Okay.
65
00:03:29,414 --> 00:03:31,498
Um, why is there a camera crew?
66
00:03:32,163 --> 00:03:34,189
It's an on-camera interview?
67
00:03:34,707 --> 00:03:37,819
For People's streaming series,
Where the Magic Happens.
68
00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:40,733
They come and interview
artists in their homes.
69
00:03:40,734 --> 00:03:42,492
It was in the e-mail I sent you.
70
00:03:42,493 --> 00:03:46,229
Okay, quick note, I never
read past the subject
71
00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:49,367
unless the e-mail's subject
is, "Read Past Subject!"
72
00:03:49,368 --> 00:03:52,135
- Or "Big Fan!"
- Let's set up
73
00:03:52,136 --> 00:03:54,170
by the windows. That
way, we can frame him
74
00:03:54,171 --> 00:03:56,106
with the sun setting over the reservoir.
75
00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:59,910
- Well, that's east, and it's morning.
- We'll fix it in post.
76
00:03:59,911 --> 00:04:02,396
- Can I, uh...?
- Oh.
77
00:04:05,466 --> 00:04:09,119
So, um, Gretchen is here.
78
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,952
- You two aren't back together, are you?
- No.
79
00:04:11,953 --> 00:04:14,691
Um, I mean, we haven't
really discussed our status.
80
00:04:14,692 --> 00:04:16,326
Because that would really interfere
81
00:04:16,327 --> 00:04:18,061
with the marketing of the book.
82
00:04:18,062 --> 00:04:20,597
We're selling you as a bachelor Brit
83
00:04:20,598 --> 00:04:22,630
with eyes of frosted steel.
84
00:04:22,631 --> 00:04:24,456
Steel is a bit cold.
85
00:04:24,457 --> 00:04:26,185
I mean, maybe cornflower?
86
00:04:26,186 --> 00:04:28,305
I worked my ass off getting
you this interview.
87
00:04:28,306 --> 00:04:31,541
Usually, People magazine will
not touch an unknown author
88
00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:34,679
unless they just escaped from
a kidnapper's sex dungeon.
89
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,713
So you need to make sure
she doesn't come upstairs.
90
00:04:37,714 --> 00:04:41,451
If you tell Gretchen there's a
place she can't go, she's going.
91
00:04:41,452 --> 00:04:43,787
Whether it's a bar, a
McDonald's PlayPlace,
92
00:04:43,788 --> 00:04:46,137
a public pool during kids' swim.
93
00:04:46,138 --> 00:04:48,576
Deal with it... now.
94
00:04:52,745 --> 00:04:54,285
Um...
95
00:04:54,958 --> 00:04:56,532
Jimmy saved my life.
96
00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:57,815
Oh.
97
00:04:59,938 --> 00:05:01,804
We can CGI him into a
floor lamp, right?
98
00:05:01,805 --> 00:05:03,391
Yeah, totally.
99
00:05:09,562 --> 00:05:11,178
Konnichiwa.
100
00:05:14,673 --> 00:05:19,224
So, apparently, this interview
is happening upstairs.
101
00:05:19,225 --> 00:05:23,275
And so, it's vital that
you stay down here.
102
00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:29,929
That doesn't mean you
can't go upstairs.
103
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,634
Gretchen can go anywhere.
104
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,236
- I can go anywhere!
- Yeah. I would just
105
00:05:33,237 --> 00:05:37,025
personally really, really
appreciate it if you laid low.
106
00:05:40,187 --> 00:05:41,723
Hmm.
107
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:45,738
Hmm.
108
00:05:48,054 --> 00:05:50,367
Hmm.
109
00:05:52,172 --> 00:05:54,757
Hmm. Oh.
110
00:05:56,661 --> 00:05:59,480
Hmm.
111
00:06:01,564 --> 00:06:02,984
I can probably make that work.
112
00:06:03,725 --> 00:06:06,602
I have to finish this
pint of Bubble Cream.
113
00:06:06,603 --> 00:06:09,965
Plus, I really need to find out
where this bang bus is headed.
114
00:06:09,966 --> 00:06:12,675
They said they're going to San
Diego, but they just keep
115
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,777
driving around the same
neighborhood in the Valley.
116
00:06:14,778 --> 00:06:16,179
Something is up.
117
00:06:16,180 --> 00:06:18,633
Mmm. Gum?
118
00:06:21,968 --> 00:06:24,086
Oh, yeah, baby, oh, yeah.
119
00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:39,624
Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst. Come on.
120
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,595
Right, she's acting really weird.
121
00:06:42,596 --> 00:06:44,316
Like David Bowie in Labyrinth weird,
122
00:06:44,317 --> 00:06:45,918
or like Kevin in We Need
to Talk about Kevin weird?
123
00:06:45,919 --> 00:06:47,757
She's watching pornography
fully clothed.
124
00:06:47,758 --> 00:06:48,791
Kevin weird.
125
00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:50,722
All right, that's it. I need
to get her out of the house.
126
00:06:50,723 --> 00:06:52,272
Well, I could try to talk
to her, but Gretchen...
127
00:06:52,273 --> 00:06:54,592
Oh, thank you, Edgar. I'll get
you something nice in return,
128
00:06:54,593 --> 00:06:56,428
like an Olive Garden gift card
129
00:06:56,429 --> 00:06:57,813
from that rack for poors at Rite Aid.
130
00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:05,770
Hey, Gretchen.
131
00:07:05,771 --> 00:07:08,197
Hey yourself, you big stud!
132
00:07:11,483 --> 00:07:13,669
Uh, I was just thinking.
133
00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:17,549
It is such a beautiful day outside.
134
00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:19,668
You know, just in case you...
135
00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:23,722
wanted to get out of the house for...
136
00:07:23,723 --> 00:07:25,244
Um...
137
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,560
I-I-I found a, um...
138
00:07:27,561 --> 00:07:29,694
a discount ticket Web site that's full
139
00:07:29,695 --> 00:07:31,830
of amazing cultural events.
140
00:07:31,831 --> 00:07:36,368
There's Uterus the Musical at
Glendale Community College.
141
00:07:36,369 --> 00:07:39,572
Huh? The El Capitan Theatre is showing
142
00:07:39,573 --> 00:07:42,108
Pixar's Birds with a live show.
143
00:07:42,109 --> 00:07:44,709
Gary Sinise and the Lieutenant
Dan Band are playing
144
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:46,711
the San Pedro Lobster Chomp!
145
00:07:46,712 --> 00:07:49,233
I'm not leaving, Edgar.
146
00:07:51,633 --> 00:07:54,670
I'm staying here.
147
00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:58,041
Forever.
148
00:08:00,008 --> 00:08:02,161
For...
149
00:08:02,162 --> 00:08:04,496
er...
150
00:08:04,497 --> 00:08:07,532
ver...
151
00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:12,003
Shit!
152
00:08:24,016 --> 00:08:25,884
She's crazy, Jimmy.
153
00:08:25,885 --> 00:08:27,752
How about I get my go bag
and we both just move
154
00:08:27,753 --> 00:08:29,187
to the Safari Inn in Burbank?
155
00:08:29,188 --> 00:08:31,022
- We can't do that.
- I've done it before.
156
00:08:31,023 --> 00:08:33,024
One time we found a nest
of camel spiders on base,
157
00:08:33,025 --> 00:08:35,378
so we packed up, hit the
entrance with a truck-bomb,
158
00:08:35,379 --> 00:08:36,877
and pretended the Taliban did it.
159
00:08:36,878 --> 00:08:37,896
What were they gonna say?
160
00:08:37,897 --> 00:08:38,964
We're almost ready for you, Jimmy!
161
00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:40,923
I cannot believe she'd
threaten my job like this.
162
00:08:40,924 --> 00:08:42,668
Why isn't she at her job?
163
00:08:42,669 --> 00:08:44,669
She's told her clients
she's in Europe.
164
00:08:44,670 --> 00:08:46,639
Jimmy. That's compromising material.
165
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:47,939
Blackmail her.
166
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,507
I'm out.
167
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:50,860
Save yourself.
168
00:08:55,181 --> 00:08:57,449
What?
169
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,719
Where's the box spring?
170
00:09:18,656 --> 00:09:19,886
Down there.
171
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:24,266
Oh. Why the sad face, Puppy?
172
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:28,007
You still worried I'm coming
upstairs to nuke your interview?
173
00:09:28,981 --> 00:09:31,950
No, because I have my own nuke.
174
00:09:31,951 --> 00:09:34,687
It's a text to Slim,
175
00:09:34,688 --> 00:09:36,554
Shit-Show, and Honey Cake,
176
00:09:36,555 --> 00:09:40,024
revealing that you are not in Europe.
177
00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:44,013
Complete with a time-stamped photo.
178
00:09:44,412 --> 00:09:47,031
Leave now or I will expose you
179
00:09:47,032 --> 00:09:49,084
as the fraud you are.
180
00:09:49,885 --> 00:09:51,311
Boom.
181
00:09:53,956 --> 00:09:55,246
New rule,
182
00:09:55,247 --> 00:09:56,612
no matter what happens,
183
00:09:56,613 --> 00:09:58,995
we don't ruin profesh
shit for each other.
184
00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:02,932
Truce?
185
00:10:08,271 --> 00:10:09,579
Truce.
186
00:10:11,372 --> 00:10:12,790
So, are we all good?
187
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:14,009
Oh, hold on.
188
00:10:17,130 --> 00:10:18,882
Yeah, we're good.
189
00:10:20,282 --> 00:10:22,134
Your lemon tree, on the other hand...
190
00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:23,318
What?
191
00:10:23,886 --> 00:10:25,691
Oh, Juicy.
192
00:10:28,557 --> 00:10:30,608
Uh, she's not leaving,
193
00:10:30,609 --> 00:10:32,810
but it's fine, this is fine.
194
00:10:32,811 --> 00:10:34,612
You trust that she's
gonna stay down there?
195
00:10:34,613 --> 00:10:36,615
I don't trust her to
drive a bumper car.
196
00:10:36,616 --> 00:10:38,317
Don't screw me here.
I cannot jeopardize
197
00:10:38,318 --> 00:10:40,285
my longstanding
relationship with People,
198
00:10:40,286 --> 00:10:42,320
which dates back to when
they asked me for a quote
199
00:10:42,321 --> 00:10:46,158
that Ben Affleck did deserve to
be 2002's Sexiest Man Alive,
200
00:10:46,159 --> 00:10:48,226
even though, let's be honest,
it's like somebody put
201
00:10:48,227 --> 00:10:50,234
Tom Brady's chin on Rachel Maddow.
202
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,630
Well, let's just say
203
00:10:52,631 --> 00:10:54,766
that she and I have reached a d�tente.
204
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:55,948
Good boy.
205
00:10:58,921 --> 00:11:00,905
Okay, we ready?
206
00:11:00,906 --> 00:11:03,908
So, Genevieve, as you know,
207
00:11:03,909 --> 00:11:05,910
the book release is next week,
208
00:11:05,911 --> 00:11:08,313
and we're making a big
push at the Romance
209
00:11:08,314 --> 00:11:10,682
and Erotica Book Expo.
210
00:11:10,683 --> 00:11:12,784
- So this will time to drop with that.
- Yes, thanks.
211
00:11:12,785 --> 00:11:15,954
So, Jimmy, what inspired your book?
212
00:11:15,955 --> 00:11:17,655
The Width of a Peach was borne
213
00:11:17,656 --> 00:11:20,091
of the sensual stories
I wrote as a boy.
214
00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:22,794
See, Manchester was a harsh
place for a sensitive child
215
00:11:22,795 --> 00:11:25,409
who managed to escape rat attack,
216
00:11:25,410 --> 00:11:27,665
cholera, laudanum overdose,
217
00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:30,668
and coming across an
unexploded German ordinance.
218
00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:33,005
But armed with a notebook
219
00:11:33,006 --> 00:11:35,943
and a piece of lead, I would
hide under the covers,
220
00:11:35,944 --> 00:11:39,863
using language to express
my forbidden desires.
221
00:11:47,610 --> 00:11:49,747
What? Why am I awake?
222
00:11:49,748 --> 00:11:52,567
Why were you asleep? It's
like 2:00 in the afternoon.
223
00:11:52,568 --> 00:11:55,086
I was at my job till 6:00 a.m.
224
00:11:55,087 --> 00:11:57,872
I did night work so long,
it turned into day.
225
00:11:59,742 --> 00:12:01,343
What happened to you?
226
00:12:01,344 --> 00:12:02,944
I fell down the hill behind
Jimmy's... long story.
227
00:12:02,945 --> 00:12:04,579
Basically,
228
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,140
there's a real fubar
situation over there.
229
00:12:07,141 --> 00:12:09,885
Did that round tweenager
show up begging again?
230
00:12:09,886 --> 00:12:11,853
Just throw lemons at his belly
231
00:12:11,854 --> 00:12:13,822
till he runs back to
his side of the block.
232
00:12:13,823 --> 00:12:15,558
- Gretchen's there.
- What?!
233
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:19,462
And she's acting like a Japanese
ghost. It is so spooky.
234
00:12:19,463 --> 00:12:22,430
God, I've been so
distracted at my job.
235
00:12:22,431 --> 00:12:25,346
I thought Gretchen was in
Eagle Rock boning that hunk.
236
00:12:25,347 --> 00:12:26,601
What hunk?
237
00:12:26,602 --> 00:12:28,703
Some married guy. They hump in cars.
238
00:12:28,704 --> 00:12:30,839
See, this is why we need
to start a group text.
239
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,499
I keep starting a chain
but no one responds.
240
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:36,461
You guys probably aren't getting
them because my phone's so old.
241
00:12:36,462 --> 00:12:38,922
Yes. That's why no one's responding.
242
00:12:38,923 --> 00:12:41,116
Anyway, I can't go back
into that crazy house.
243
00:12:41,117 --> 00:12:43,042
It's triggering me.
244
00:12:43,682 --> 00:12:46,654
It's like when Dad moved out and
no one told me, and then, one day,
245
00:12:46,655 --> 00:12:49,391
there was a new guy living
in Mom's master suite.
246
00:12:49,392 --> 00:12:51,445
You got to call Gretchen and
get her to leave Jimmy's,
247
00:12:51,446 --> 00:12:54,929
but don't tell her I
told you she's there.
248
00:12:54,930 --> 00:12:56,515
Obviously.
249
00:13:08,027 --> 00:13:09,678
Hey, girl.
250
00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,898
Hey. What you up to?
251
00:13:15,935 --> 00:13:19,789
I just woke up and you weren't here,
252
00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:23,058
so I thought, "Hey, where's
Gretchen?" And then I thought,
253
00:13:23,059 --> 00:13:24,659
"Probably with that married
guy," and then I thought,
254
00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,629
"Good one, Linds. You're not as stupid
255
00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:28,870
as your swimming teacher
keeps saying you are."
256
00:13:28,871 --> 00:13:30,284
Want to hang out?
257
00:13:30,285 --> 00:13:31,610
Hang out where?
258
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:32,901
It depends where you are.
259
00:13:32,902 --> 00:13:35,770
Like, you're not at
Jimmy's or anything?
260
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,440
- Too much.
- Shit.
261
00:13:38,056 --> 00:13:39,507
I'm at home.
262
00:13:39,508 --> 00:13:41,443
- Where home?
- Here home.
263
00:13:41,444 --> 00:13:44,045
- Where are you exactly?
- Linds...
264
00:13:44,046 --> 00:13:46,781
I live with Jimmy, just like
I have for a long time.
265
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:47,875
But...
266
00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:51,222
- I thought you lived here?
- What?
267
00:13:51,223 --> 00:13:52,788
When did I live at your house?
268
00:13:52,789 --> 00:13:55,373
You've been here for a few months.
269
00:13:55,374 --> 00:13:57,827
Oh, Puppy, if I live at your house,
270
00:13:57,828 --> 00:13:59,546
then where's all my stuff?
271
00:14:00,859 --> 00:14:02,233
I don't know.
272
00:14:02,699 --> 00:14:03,758
I thought...
273
00:14:05,276 --> 00:14:07,619
You farted on my couch, right?
274
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:09,419
You're very tired.
275
00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:11,573
I did night work for so long.
276
00:14:11,574 --> 00:14:13,074
I know.
277
00:14:13,075 --> 00:14:14,866
Get some sleep, sweetie.
278
00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:18,172
Okay. Bye, Gretchen.
279
00:14:20,325 --> 00:14:23,219
So... what did you learn?
280
00:14:25,124 --> 00:14:26,856
I don't know what's real.
281
00:14:26,857 --> 00:14:30,860
I write till 4:00 or 5:00 a.m.
282
00:14:30,861 --> 00:14:33,228
At dawn, I make my way
down to the reservoir,
283
00:14:33,229 --> 00:14:36,598
where the street vendors
hawk mangos y papayas.
284
00:14:36,599 --> 00:14:39,767
From them, I draw both sustenance
285
00:14:39,768 --> 00:14:41,854
and cultural inspiration.
286
00:14:45,876 --> 00:14:47,275
Where's bitch?!
287
00:14:47,276 --> 00:14:49,451
She's not here.
288
00:14:49,452 --> 00:14:51,690
You texted us that she was here.
289
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:54,616
Now-now either you're lying
or MetroPCS is lying,
290
00:14:54,617 --> 00:14:56,851
and I know MetroPCS ain't
got no angle here.
291
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,853
What? No. Uh, I was going to,
292
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,923
but I hit the blue
send-to-trash button.
293
00:15:01,924 --> 00:15:04,543
And, clearly, I haven't used
my phone in a few months.
294
00:15:06,077 --> 00:15:09,198
Listen, fellas, you have to vacate.
295
00:15:09,582 --> 00:15:11,486
People magazine's interviewing me.
296
00:15:11,487 --> 00:15:12,528
No shit?
297
00:15:15,273 --> 00:15:16,676
- Yo.
- Crossing.
298
00:15:16,677 --> 00:15:20,308
The cover story you did on the
Hannah Montana reunion made me cry.
299
00:15:20,309 --> 00:15:22,644
Billy Ray is so proud of Miley.
300
00:15:22,645 --> 00:15:24,030
Thanks.
301
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,144
Who are you guys?
302
00:15:27,662 --> 00:15:29,709
We really need a better publicist.
303
00:15:30,359 --> 00:15:32,002
Speak of the bitch.
304
00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:33,497
Crossing.
305
00:15:34,806 --> 00:15:37,042
All right, see you in a bit, fellas.
306
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:47,568
No! No, no, no, no, no, no.
307
00:15:47,569 --> 00:15:49,026
You lied to us!
308
00:15:49,613 --> 00:15:51,190
You have not been in Europe.
309
00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:53,600
I was.
310
00:15:53,601 --> 00:15:55,479
I just got back.
311
00:15:55,828 --> 00:15:58,713
Honestly, Europe was a dream.
312
00:15:58,714 --> 00:16:00,915
So many bicycles and castles.
313
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,710
One afternoon, in South Berlin,
314
00:16:03,711 --> 00:16:05,920
I watched an old woman play harmonium
315
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:09,190
while a stray dog ate a cheese
sandwich out of my hand.
316
00:16:09,191 --> 00:16:11,059
There are no stray dogs in Berlin.
317
00:16:11,060 --> 00:16:13,194
The animal welfare system is tight.
318
00:16:13,554 --> 00:16:15,181
It was the old lady's dog.
319
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:18,193
What kind of cheese
was on that sandwich?
320
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:21,309
Resspelutchenbidenzer.
321
00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:23,005
Bitch, we know you've been
here this whole time!
322
00:16:23,006 --> 00:16:24,072
Yeah, Jimmy texted us
323
00:16:24,073 --> 00:16:25,619
and he ratted you out pretty hard.
324
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:26,942
Damn it, Jimmy!
325
00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:29,543
You said you befriended
Fatboy Slim on our behalf.
326
00:16:29,544 --> 00:16:32,714
Okay, guys, but think about
that... what does that even mean?
327
00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:34,082
You are the worst...
328
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:37,456
And I mean worst...
Publicist I have ever met!
329
00:16:37,457 --> 00:16:39,755
And my dad is friends
with Paul Manafort!
330
00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:41,089
We needed you.
331
00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:43,525
Do you even know what's
going on right now?
332
00:16:43,526 --> 00:16:44,741
No.
333
00:16:45,363 --> 00:16:46,633
You want to tell her?
334
00:16:46,634 --> 00:16:48,396
- You tell her.
- Tell me what?
335
00:16:48,397 --> 00:16:51,718
Turns out Zachary is 45 years old!
336
00:16:52,851 --> 00:16:54,702
Honey Nutz is 45?
337
00:16:54,703 --> 00:16:57,498
We can't have a 45-year-old in
the group! This is a crisis!
338
00:16:57,499 --> 00:16:59,842
The other day he was freestyling
about how the Challenger explosion
339
00:16:59,843 --> 00:17:01,843
really messed him up,
and the truth came out.
340
00:17:01,844 --> 00:17:03,245
We needed you,
341
00:17:03,246 --> 00:17:05,847
and you were nowhere to be found!
342
00:17:05,848 --> 00:17:08,850
You better have some
mind-blowing explanation
343
00:17:08,851 --> 00:17:12,747
for lying to us, or we are
firing your ass for reals!
344
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:15,954
Hey. You guys don't even know
345
00:17:15,955 --> 00:17:17,425
what happened with Jimmy, do you?
346
00:17:17,426 --> 00:17:19,894
Uh-uh. No more lies, bitch.
347
00:17:19,895 --> 00:17:22,749
God's truth, stick a needle in my eye.
348
00:17:28,364 --> 00:17:29,671
Okay.
349
00:17:29,672 --> 00:17:31,773
Three months ago Jimmy
took me to this spot
350
00:17:31,774 --> 00:17:33,174
above the Hollywood Bowl,
351
00:17:33,175 --> 00:17:35,294
pretending we were looking
for murder clues.
352
00:17:35,845 --> 00:17:38,196
Who are your favorite
erotica authors?
353
00:17:38,197 --> 00:17:41,015
Uh... see, there's a fine
line between erotica
354
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,285
and litera...
355
00:17:43,286 --> 00:17:44,838
Um...
356
00:17:47,172 --> 00:17:48,890
It's, uh...
357
00:17:48,891 --> 00:17:50,959
Hmm.
358
00:18:05,405 --> 00:18:08,208
You're a bad person,
Jimmy Shive-Overly.
359
00:18:09,446 --> 00:18:11,383
You dead, dude.
360
00:18:13,231 --> 00:18:15,316
Okay. Ha-ha!
361
00:18:15,317 --> 00:18:16,984
Yeah, bye, fellas!
362
00:18:16,985 --> 00:18:20,188
Okay. Uh, where were we?
Where were... um...
363
00:18:20,189 --> 00:18:23,192
Oh, God, Lindsay. Does
this mean we're in charge?
364
00:18:23,193 --> 00:18:25,327
I can't be in charge of anything.
365
00:18:25,328 --> 00:18:27,929
I was in charge once in Iraq,
and it did not go well.
366
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:30,199
In fact, that was the last
time we did Secret Santa.
367
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,466
Maybe we could get them back together
368
00:18:31,467 --> 00:18:33,671
while they're under the same roof!
369
00:18:33,672 --> 00:18:36,204
I wish I'd thought of that when
Mom was breaking up with Uncle.
370
00:18:36,205 --> 00:18:38,940
I could have Parent-Trapped
them that weekend in Solvang.
371
00:18:38,941 --> 00:18:40,809
This is scary. Hold me.
372
00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:42,944
- I'm getting all cranked up.
- Me, too, bud.
373
00:18:42,945 --> 00:18:45,131
- Now, make my body feel good.
- Mmm.
374
00:18:51,314 --> 00:18:54,080
What's more important,
characters or plot?
375
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,812
I think characters
376
00:18:56,813 --> 00:18:58,779
are obviously...
377
00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:01,095
the essential...
378
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,936
Why don't we finish
this at a coffee shop?
379
00:19:02,937 --> 00:19:04,669
Hi, sweetie.
380
00:19:06,839 --> 00:19:08,589
Oh! Oh, don't mind me.
381
00:19:08,590 --> 00:19:10,191
I am not here.
382
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:12,726
Hi. I'm Gretchen Cutler,
Jimmy's fianc�e,
383
00:19:12,727 --> 00:19:14,930
The future Mrs...
384
00:19:14,931 --> 00:19:16,197
Is it Shive-Overly?
385
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,232
Maybe we'll do one of
those hybrid names
386
00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:19,548
the kids are getting into.
387
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:20,868
Cutler-y.
388
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:21,870
Shitler.
389
00:19:22,838 --> 00:19:23,883
What's going on?
390
00:19:23,884 --> 00:19:25,969
I just interviewed him for an
hour about his single life.
391
00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:27,159
Single?
392
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:29,710
Why are they saying
you're single, Jimmy?
393
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:31,008
What are you doing?
394
00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:32,857
What are you doing?
395
00:19:35,868 --> 00:19:37,551
Okay. You're right.
396
00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:39,160
- I have been acting crazy.
- Mm.
397
00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:41,723
But what is it that
happened to us, exactly?
398
00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:43,188
One,
399
00:19:43,189 --> 00:19:45,022
you asked me to marry you.
400
00:19:45,023 --> 00:19:47,094
Two, I said yes.
401
00:19:47,095 --> 00:19:48,985
Three, you left.
402
00:19:48,986 --> 00:19:50,764
And then four, you came back,
403
00:19:50,765 --> 00:19:52,767
apologized, and I said it was fine.
404
00:19:52,768 --> 00:19:54,101
Isn't that what happened?
405
00:19:54,102 --> 00:19:56,822
Ye-Yes. Technically.
406
00:19:57,443 --> 00:19:59,708
Which means we never stopped
407
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:01,593
being engaged.
408
00:20:03,889 --> 00:20:06,892
We're still engaged, Jimmy, right?
409
00:20:09,196 --> 00:20:10,470
Jimmy?
410
00:20:12,603 --> 00:20:15,807
Uh, c... can you just
give us a second?
411
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:17,593
So, wait...
412
00:20:18,172 --> 00:20:21,067
you haven't been punishing me
413
00:20:21,068 --> 00:20:22,596
by taking over the bedroom
414
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,333
and refusing to leave?
415
00:20:24,334 --> 00:20:26,934
I just wanted you to squirm a little.
416
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,299
But now I find out
417
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:30,305
you're supposed to be
single for the book?
418
00:20:30,306 --> 00:20:32,773
Maybe I should move back out?
419
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:34,539
- Oh, don't. N...
- Well, how are we
420
00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:36,495
gonna make this all work, then?
421
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:43,138
What if I wasn't single?
422
00:20:43,139 --> 00:20:44,885
- Jimmy...
- What about
423
00:20:44,886 --> 00:20:47,888
a writer who isn't single
424
00:20:47,889 --> 00:20:50,291
and maybe makes mistakes?
425
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,893
Human ones. But at the end of the day,
426
00:20:52,894 --> 00:20:54,695
his heart's in the right place.
427
00:20:54,696 --> 00:20:56,932
Is... is there something
you could do with that?
428
00:20:56,933 --> 00:20:59,166
I-It could be aspirational.
429
00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:01,412
Everyone deserves love.
430
00:21:02,588 --> 00:21:04,724
- That sounds very People.
- Yeah.
431
00:21:05,823 --> 00:21:07,575
We could adjust our strategy.
432
00:21:07,576 --> 00:21:08,776
It'll work.
433
00:21:08,777 --> 00:21:10,778
I'm a publicist. You ever hear
434
00:21:10,779 --> 00:21:13,113
of the one that goes,
"Courtney Love is smart now"?
435
00:21:13,114 --> 00:21:15,665
- That was you?
- See, the honest truth is,
436
00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:16,896
this book...
437
00:21:17,448 --> 00:21:19,342
this is our love story.
438
00:21:19,804 --> 00:21:21,989
And our story is chaotic,
439
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,603
but love is chaos.
440
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:27,813
And it's the only game
in town worth playing.
441
00:21:29,982 --> 00:21:31,450
What do you think?
442
00:21:33,002 --> 00:21:34,268
She can stay.
443
00:21:34,269 --> 00:21:35,946
Can we get Gretchen miked?
444
00:21:38,743 --> 00:21:39,783
Hi.
445
00:21:40,437 --> 00:21:41,537
Hi.
446
00:21:43,812 --> 00:21:45,079
Oh, 'scuse me
447
00:21:47,249 --> 00:21:49,683
- Hi, Booner!
- Gretch, what's wrong?
448
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,852
- You said you had an emergency?
- Yup.
449
00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:53,534
Uh, it's downstairs.
450
00:21:53,839 --> 00:21:55,343
In the bedroom.
451
00:21:55,344 --> 00:21:56,774
I'll show you.
452
00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:06,206
Hello.
453
00:22:11,855 --> 00:22:13,792
Shouldn't have texted the boys.
454
00:22:14,852 --> 00:22:16,962
Mushroom cloud, bitch!
455
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:36,982
Jimmy...
456
00:22:37,387 --> 00:22:38,927
we have to talk.
457
00:22:38,928 --> 00:22:41,735
We know you and Gretch are
going through a thing,
458
00:22:41,736 --> 00:22:43,182
but it's messing with our brains.
459
00:22:43,183 --> 00:22:47,142
Yeah, so there's something very
important we need you to hear.
460
00:22:47,143 --> 00:22:48,876
And-a one and-a two
461
00:22:48,877 --> 00:22:50,177
and-a one, two, three and...
462
00:22:50,178 --> 00:22:51,746
? There's one and one ?
463
00:22:51,747 --> 00:22:53,213
? And that makes two ?
464
00:22:53,214 --> 00:22:56,050
? But the two of you
are making us blue ?
465
00:22:56,051 --> 00:22:59,187
? So let's end the
fighting, let's have fun ?
466
00:22:59,188 --> 00:23:01,422
? And make two hearts
back into one... ?
467
00:23:01,423 --> 00:23:04,191
? Back into one ?
468
00:23:07,446 --> 00:23:09,329
That was really beautiful.
469
00:23:09,330 --> 00:23:10,765
Why don't you go downstairs
470
00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:12,184
and sing it to Gretchen.
471
00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:14,026
She's in the bedroom.
472
00:23:22,793 --> 00:23:25,179
And-a one, and-a two,
473
00:23:25,180 --> 00:23:26,914
and-a one, two, three.
474
00:23:26,915 --> 00:23:29,835
? There's one and one... ?
475
00:23:41,196 --> 00:23:43,796
We get two Christmases now.
476
00:23:52,006 --> 00:23:57,006
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
477
00:23:57,056 --> 00:24:01,606
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34042
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.