All language subtitles for Younger s02e01 Tattoo You.eng

[upbeat music]

Okay, not a word about anything.

Final decision.

Five minutes ago she was
in the circle of trust.

- _
- What just happened?

Caitlin's gonna have enough

cultural shock coming home
without having to hear that

her mother has a completely new identity.

And definitely don't mention Josh.

I don't even know what's
going on with you two.

Mm, things are weird now
that he knows that I'm 40.

J-Lo's in her 40s, and everybody

in their right mind's trying
to make it work with her.

- 'Cause she's J-Lo.
- You're as hot as J-Lo.

Well, you're as hot as Megan Fox.

[chuckles] Hon, let's never
stop lying to each other, okay.

- [gasps]
- [gasps]

- Caitlin!
- All: Hi!

[laughs]

- Hi!
- Hi, Caitlin!

Oh, I've missed you so much.

Ah, hi Mom. Hi Maggie.

- Hi, give me a kiss.
- Wow...

- Both: Muah!
- Someone needs a shower.

- I got it.
- Mom, don't be so Western.

All right. This is how human beings smell.

Oh... okay.

[upbeat pop music]

Mom, I know it's only 9:00 a.m.,

but can we order pizza?

Seriously, I've been having
erotic dreams about pizza.

Like, I'm about to kiss a boy

and then his tongue
just turns into a slice.

Well, girl, you're back
in the land of Seamless

where you can order the pizza and the boy.

Yes.

Honey, will you sit down for a second?

I want to share something with you.

Okay.

[sighs]

So while you've been in India,

I've been going through a
bit of an identity issue.

Mm.

Gay or transitioning?

- What?
- Into a man?

No. Why would you go there?

Because you're tall, and Dad
always said you had man hands.

- When did he say that?
- I wouldn't care.

In India, they're known as hijras,

and they're very accepted.

They're even legally
recognized as a third gender

on their passports, so.

Okay, that's good to know,

but that's not my issue.

What is it, then?

The issue is...

[mouthing] No.

- Brooklyn.
- What?

Yes. Yes, that's it. I love it.

I love it, and I just don't
identify with New Jersey

the way that I used to.

Well, Mom, that's really nice,

but right now I need to sleep excessively.

Like, for a week.

All right, can you please
deliver the pizza to my bedroom?

Thank you.

Wow, if she was okay with a sex change,

maybe this won't be such a big deal.

[electronic pop music]

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

So I'm about to pitch a
book at morning meeting.

And I need your opinion. Sure.

It's a Tumblr that's being shopped around.

And... [sighs]

You got to tell me if you think I'm crazy.

[rock music]

What do you think?

Uh... so many things.

[chuckles] Come on.

[whispering] Wha...

Oh, my God.

_

It's one of the most
popular Tumblrs out there,

written by a woman who's a
freelance writer at "Jezebel."

_

[all chuckling]

- _
- [laughter]

_

- Oh...
- Excuse me.

How exactly is this a book?

It's pornographic Internet nonsense.

I mean, I wouldn't exactly
classify oral sex as pornography

unless you're trying to throw us back

to the "Let's ban 'Lolita'" era.

It's a list. It's not literature.

I agree, but it is a fun, silly book

that will sell

to a young audience,
which is what we're after.

Liza? Uh, yes.

I mean, it's like, uh,
"Goodnight Moon" for adults...

- With blowjobs.
- Yes.

- [chuckles]
- Charles?

I'd at least like to see
some more positive thoughts.

Oh, of course. Um...

- _
- Number 69.

[laughter]

Okay, that's a start.

[upbeat music]

You're not seriously entertaining this?

Well, it is entertaining,

but I'm not sure I can see it in the place

that J.D. Salinger once called home.

[sighs] Oh, thank God.

Will I see you at the Bobby
Flay meeting this afternoon?

He's shopping his new cookbook.

I think it's important you say hello.

Damn, I forgot to mention Bobby wanted

to move the meeting to his restaurant.

Um, can you make that dinner tonight?

Um... I will have to check my calendar.

Probably have to rearrange
a bunch of things, but...

- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

[funky music]

Liza, get in here, and shut the door.

Is something wrong?

Charles just asked me to dinner.

He did?

Yes, at Bobby Flay's restaurant.

We're going to meet him
about his new cookbook.

Oh, so it's a business dinner.

Are you suggesting I
think it's something more?

Of course not.

I need you to download the menu
and wine and cocktail list,

and make sure the barman knows
how to make a dry Negroni.

Absolutely.

And call Davide at
Barney's. He has my sizes.

I need something simple and stunning.

Calling. [tongue clicks]

I'm gonna show him what a
perfect power couple we can be.

[electronic music]

Nice try in there.

I just don't think it's Empirical.

I don't think you realize
how commercial this is.

Swing and a miss.

Just, uh, just keep looking
for the next Bjornberg.

So a Brunello Di Montalcino
is aged at least four years,

where a Rosso Di Montalcino
is much younger and cheaper.

I think I like the Rosso better.

Are you in the wine business?

No, I just drink a lot of it. [all laugh]

Okay, who's over 21 here?

- Hi, Mrs. Miller.
- Hi, Mom.

We're not drinking.

We're just having a wine tasting.

Mm, Caitlin, why didn't you tell me

Padma and Michaela were coming for dinner?

Oh, no, Mom, you don't have to cook.

- We're going out.
- We missed out girl.

We drove in from New
Jersey to surprise her.

Where are you guys gonna go?

Uh, we're meeting some of
Michaela's friends from NYU.

- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

- Yeah. Okay. Love you, Mom.

- Love you too.
- Thanks for the wine tasting.

- We won't be out too late.
- Nice to meet you.

- We love your art.
- Thank you.

- Bye, Maggie.
- Ciao.

- Be safe.
- Ugh, so cute.

Okay, what just happened there?

Uh, that's your daughter having a life.

I suggest you do the same.

- Wh... excuse me?
- Go see Josh.

You got to grab your moments while you can.

Ugh, I think I should give him more time.

Time to do what? Go meet somebody else?

That might be for the best.

I mean, I... I worry
that I really may not be

the person that he fell in love with

Liza, don't reject yourself.

Okay?

- Dude, come on.
- No, dude, just wait...

- Ooh.
- [chuckles]

- Ah!
- All right, stop.

- Stop.
- Nope. Nope.

- Not mid-mission.
- Dude!

[electronic video game buzzing]

Ah, it's Liza.

What?

She wants to do something tonight.

No, no, no, no, no, no,
no. The answer is no.

Dude, what is your problem?

Wha... are you kidding me? She's a nut job.

She should be locked up in
some sort of cougar prison.

Dude, that is... [laughs]

- That's not true.
- Come on, man.

She stepped on your heart.
She destroyed your soul.

She's a sexual grifter.

Will you just give me my phone back?

Fine...

but don't expect me to be
around to pick up the pieces.

- [sighs]
- Can I eat the dumplings?

_

Okay, I'm getting the three dots.

Will someone please explain the dots to me?

I think the dots are when
someone's typing or thinking.

Okay, now the dots went
away. There's nothing.

Oh, the dots can be very fickle.

They're back.

Yes! East River Bar at 9:00.

Oh, I don't know. What
if Caitlin comes home?

Hm, don't worry. I'll keep her distracted.

Nobody cock blocks mama.

[scoffs]

[Courtney Barnett's "Pickles
From A Jar" playing]

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, um, I'm just waiting for my boyfriend.

No worries.

Mind if I wait with you?

Uh, sure,

but you might just have to
get up when he gets here.

He's not gonna, like, beat me up

if he sees me talking to you, right?

[chuckles] I don't think so, but...

You looked lonely.

- Why are you so shy?
- [groans]

- I'm not shy.
- Yeah, you are.

Sitting here by yourself
like a little introvert.

I bet people think that you're snobby,

but you're really just quiet, right?

- Mm, you nailed me.
- Yeah.

I like quiet girls.

You know, quiet's the new sexy. Mm.

So why don't you come
out of that hard shell

and tell me what else I
should know about you?

My daughter just came home from
college, and I'm in my 40s.

I saw my friends, so...

I got to go,

but take it easy.

[big band music]

How is your Habanero-glazed yellowtail?

Delicious, I think this is the first time

that a client's ever wined and dined me.

- We need to sign more chefs.
- Yeah, we do.

I, actually, don't know if
you're aware of the statistics,

but the sale of physical cookbooks...

- Stronger than ever.
- Of course.

Yeah, it's a real bright spot out there.

That's why it's worth
the effort to sign Flay.

I think he's gonna find
the combination of us

as a team hard to resist.

Yeah. That and the money.

[laughs]

Do you ever cook for yourself, Charles?

Uh, no, not in the city,

but I love to barbecue

at the house in Pound Ridge.

- How about you?
- Oh, sure, yeah.

I like to bake, grill,

spit roast.

Show me a nice piece of meat,
I can't keep my hands off it.

You should invite me up
to Pound Ridge sometime.

I'll show you what I mean.

- Uh...
- Peppercorn shrimp.

- Oh, that looks wonderful.
- Delicious.

Mm... oh.

Um, Charles, I just want to say,

regardless of what happens with Bobby,

it has been so nice spending
quality time with you.

Diana, I think you have
a... One of your, um...

You have a little bit of, um...

- Hey, guys.
- Oh.

Sorry I kept you waiting. How's dinner?

Oh, simply sensational. You are a genius.

I was just telling Diana

what an enormous fan I am of yours, Bobby.

"Boy Meets Grill" is my Bible.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Yeah, you chipped your tooth. Didn't you?

Yeah, on a peppercorn?

My peppercorn shrimp?

You know, I have weak teeth.

It's, um, my family's from England,

on my mother's side.

Yeah, I... you know what.

Actually, I know a dentist.
She works in midtown.

She works nights. I'm gonna
go call her right now.

- Bobby, you... Bobby.
- That's not necessary.

[sighs]

I'm...

so sorry.

Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry.

I'm saving this seat. Can
my ass save it for you?

- [all laugh]
- Uh...

actually, uh, my
boyfriend, he's on his way.

- He'll be here any minute.
- Don't be such a bitch.

I'm not being a bitch.

[scoffs]

[indie rock music]

- _
-
I don't need you anymore

- _
-
Let 'em all fall through

- _
-
You took my hand, and I put my trust in you

Charles, it's very nice
of you to come with me.

It's really not necessary.

It's not a problem.

I just want to make sure
that someone's here.

Such a gentleman. [chuckles]

I feel like a toothless Cinderella.

[chuckles]

Hello.

Dr., uh, Sarkisian?

Yes. Please, come in.

I'm... it's fine. I
really have no gag reflex.

Okay. Open. What did you try to do?

Crack a walnut?

Your wife did some damage here.

Uh, no, no, no, no.

Um, not my wife,

a business associate.

We were having a business dinner.

Oh, I was wondering where that ring was.

- Nope, single.
- Same here.

It's not easy to date
when you work late nights.

Well, I'm sure there are
lots of men who wouldn't mind

waiting up for you, Dr. Sarkisian.

[chuckles] Unless they happen to wander

into my office with a dental emergency,

I'm not meeting them,

and it's Lisa.

- Charles.
- Yeah, it's re...

Please. Keep still.

[upbeat music]

I just can't believe it.

I knew he couldn't handle my age,

but what kind of a person stands someone up

and breaks up with them with a text?

How about telling me you can't make it work

before I get a beer spilled all over me

by a bunch of drunk mean girls?

Look, he's in his 20s.

He's not so mature,

and he can't process all of his emotions.

You knew that was the risk
in telling him the truth.

Yeah, but I had to tell him.

And you know what, maybe
I deserved that tonight.

[scoffs]

Besides, it's one less thing

I have to explain to
Caitlin... who, by the way,

I should never have let
go out tonight by herself.

Uh, she just spent the
past six months in India.

I'm pretty sure she can manage Brooklyn.

Yeah, I'm gonna wait up for her.

- [sighs]
- Muah.

I'm sorry, it'll all feel
better in the morning.

Mm, it's fine.

It's time to move on.

Night.

- _
- [soft music]

Ugh.

[mellow music]

[pop music]

How was dinner last night?

About as enjoyable as a root canal.

Oh, I'm sorry. How was the food?

Stop grilling me, Liza!

[phone ringing]

Hello, Diana Trout's office.

It's a Dr. Sarkisian for you?

[quirky music]

- Hello?
- Diana, it's Dr. Sarkisian.

I'm just checking in on you.
How is that temp holding up?

It seems fine so far.

- Thank you for your call.
- Of course.

My patients are like family to me.

Just remember to eat soft
foods for the next few days.

I won't forget.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I...

Can I ask you a favor?

Of course.

Would you mind transferring me to Charles?

[knock on door]

Liza, transfer this call

to Time Warner Cable customer service.

- Charles.
- We got the book.

What?

I think that Bobby

felt so bad about everything
he's signing with us.

[sputters]

What a night.

Good job, tooth.

Good job... tooth.

Damn it.

Is everything okay?

"100 Things Women Think
About While Giving Blowjobs"

just sold to Little Brown.

You've got good instincts.

Yeah, but I hate to lose.

I know the feeling.

I think I lost last night.

What? Josh?

- Mm.
- Off again?

Stood me up at a bar

and broke up with me with a text.

- That's really lame.
- [chuckles]

It's okay.

On again, off again.

Classic.

It's all gonna get better in our 30s.

[chuckles]

[sighs] Yeah...

- _
- [funky music]

[sighs]

So the green one, I think,
would be perfect on my mom.

- Right?
- Oh, she's gonna love that.

- Hey.
- Mom!

Sorry I missed you last night.

You were asleep when I got home.

Yeah, you guys definitely got back late.

- Did you have fun?
- Oh, the best time.

[giggles]

What is it you wanted to show me?

Oh, okay.

Are you ready?

- Yes.
- [squeals]

[tense music]

It's "namaste" in Sanskrit,

to commemorate my time in India.

Isn't it gorgeous?

What do you think?

- Where did you get that?
- Ugh, from the hottest guy.

He owns this place called, um... Inkburg.

Just a couple blocks from here.

- Did you see this?
- Oh, yeah.

Mm. Are you mad?

Please don't be mad.

Uh, not at you.

Excuse me.

Mom, where are you going?

Mom, you can't just go
yell at the tattoo guy.

[rock music]

[knocking]

Hey, you. You okay?

- No, I am not okay.
- Whoa...

You gave my daughter a tattoo last night.

What're you talking about?

Namaste.

[laughs]

Oh, my...

Oh, my God.

I... I did not know that
that was your daughter.

I... there were four girls.

They all came in here at the same time.

I... I had no idea.

Yep, right on the side boob in Sanskrit.

- Yeah.
- Marked for life.

- [groans]
- Thank you very much.

And then you stood me up at a bar

and broke with me with a
text, which I guess I deserve,

but it still made me feel like crap.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I didn't stand you up,

and I definitely didn't break up with you.

Oh, no?

Sorry, can't make it work.

Babe...

Uh, it's, "Sorry."

"Can't make it.

Work."

You know, on account of the four girls

that just barged into my shop.

Have you ever heard of punctuation?

I mean, I thought the
meaning was pretty obvious.

Well, not at the time.

Yeah, I see that.

So you didn't mean to break up with me?

No.

Good,

'cause I was really sad
thinking that's what happened.

Oh...

I'm sorry...

about everything.

[Koudlam's "See You All" plays]

Is there any chance

I can try and make it up to you?

I only have time for a quickie apology.

Mm.

- Quickies are my specialty.
- [chuckles]

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