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1
00:00:10,975 --> 00:00:13,446
Whoa. This just in.
2
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,150
(auto-tuned to dance music):
My boobs are huge
3
00:00:16,218 --> 00:00:20,123
Squishy, squishy tits
4
00:00:20,191 --> 00:00:21,927
Squishy-squishy-squishy
5
00:00:21,994 --> 00:00:24,364
Squishy-squishy... squishy
6
00:00:24,432 --> 00:00:26,801
You've got to feel
how soft my tits are.
.
7
00:00:26,869 --> 00:00:29,439
Well, it probably hasn't been
seen by that many people.
8
00:00:29,506 --> 00:00:31,709
1.4 million views!
9
00:00:31,777 --> 00:00:33,845
It's posted everywhere!
10
00:00:33,913 --> 00:00:35,581
As your lawyer,
11
00:00:35,649 --> 00:00:37,651
maybe I could send
a cease and desist letter to
12
00:00:37,718 --> 00:00:40,589
FazioMcBonerz99?
13
00:00:40,656 --> 00:00:42,291
Oh, God, it's humiliating.
14
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:47,098
AMANDA:
Ryan?
15
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:48,099
RYAN:
Oh. Uh...
16
00:00:48,167 --> 00:00:49,601
Amanda!
17
00:00:49,669 --> 00:00:50,803
Wh-What are you doing here?
18
00:00:50,871 --> 00:00:52,372
Sunday morning workout.
19
00:00:54,943 --> 00:00:56,243
Hi, I'm Amanda.
20
00:00:56,311 --> 00:00:57,745
Oh, I'm sorry.
21
00:00:57,813 --> 00:00:59,047
This is my neighbor, Jenna.
22
00:00:59,115 --> 00:01:00,615
She's Wilfred's owner.
23
00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:02,818
It's so nice to
finally meet you.
24
00:01:02,886 --> 00:01:04,086
Yeah, you too.
25
00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:09,859
Well, I gotta run, so...
see you later.
26
00:01:14,999 --> 00:01:17,568
Well, she seems...
27
00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:20,506
She is, she...
she totally is
28
00:01:20,573 --> 00:01:22,108
I mean, she wasn't just then.
29
00:01:22,176 --> 00:01:24,444
But she-she usually is.
Come on, treasure,
30
00:01:24,512 --> 00:01:25,746
I know you're under there
somewhere, you dick.
31
00:01:25,814 --> 00:01:26,914
(cell phone rings) It's Drew.
32
00:01:26,982 --> 00:01:29,285
Hey, sweetie...
33
00:01:29,352 --> 00:01:30,787
What?
34
00:01:30,854 --> 00:01:35,326
They just played "Squishy Tits"
on Howard Stern.
35
00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:38,163
Why are you telling me this
like you're excited?
36
00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:40,332
What are you doing?
37
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,402
Sniffing up all the valuables
38
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,304
these idiot beachgoers
leave behind.
39
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,306
(metal detector whines)
40
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:48,809
Oh, shit!
41
00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:51,045
You're not gonna believe this.
42
00:01:55,319 --> 00:01:57,654
So?
43
00:01:57,721 --> 00:01:59,823
So, that's not how
I wanted them to meet.
44
00:01:59,891 --> 00:02:02,093
The next step in
my relationship with Amanda
45
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,728
is her hanging out
with my friends.
46
00:02:03,795 --> 00:02:05,630
I need to make sure
they get along.
47
00:02:05,698 --> 00:02:07,266
Ryan, have I ever
48
00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:09,835
told you the story
about Rex and Lady?
49
00:02:09,903 --> 00:02:11,370
Their owners moved in together
50
00:02:11,438 --> 00:02:13,006
and tried to force
them to be friends.
51
00:02:13,073 --> 00:02:17,311
But Rex was a free-spirited
swashbuckler, a dreamer,
52
00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:19,246
a Renaissance dog, really.
53
00:02:19,314 --> 00:02:21,816
Lady, on the other hand,
was a dyke.
54
00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:24,085
So one day,
their owners made them
55
00:02:24,153 --> 00:02:25,854
play in the yard together.
56
00:02:25,922 --> 00:02:28,157
Well, Rex ended up killing Lady
57
00:02:28,225 --> 00:02:31,194
and hiding her body
under the porch.
58
00:02:31,262 --> 00:02:32,908
And every now and then,
59
00:02:33,185 --> 00:02:34,986
Rex would go out and
look at the corpse
60
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:37,456
and I would find myself...
61
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:41,361
and Rex would find
himself getting aroused.
62
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,234
My point is, you can't
control relationships.
63
00:02:46,301 --> 00:02:48,536
You have to let
things happen naturally.
64
00:02:48,604 --> 00:02:50,672
"Naturally" is what just
happened on the beach.
65
00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:51,840
(metal detector whines)
66
00:02:55,345 --> 00:02:57,079
Oh, my God, is that a...
67
00:02:57,147 --> 00:02:59,349
Piece of shit diamond broach.
68
00:03:04,055 --> 00:03:05,556
Anyway, I wish they'd met
69
00:03:05,624 --> 00:03:07,291
under better circumstances.
70
00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:08,526
Like a dinner party.
71
00:03:08,594 --> 00:03:10,528
Oh, I love dinner parties!
72
00:03:10,596 --> 00:03:12,831
They totally bring out
the Pomeranian in me.
73
00:03:12,899 --> 00:03:15,167
Wilfred, you're not exactly
dinner party guest material.
74
00:03:15,235 --> 00:03:17,771
I mean, the smell of food makes
you drool all over the place.
75
00:03:17,838 --> 00:03:19,106
And you lick people's scabs.
76
00:03:19,174 --> 00:03:20,341
Ryan, it's
a perfect opportunity
77
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,009
for me to get to know Amanda.
78
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,878
You've been dating her
for over two whole months
79
00:03:23,946 --> 00:03:26,614
and I haven't even so much as
sniffed her map of Tassie.
80
00:03:26,682 --> 00:03:28,716
Is that her...?
Yeah.
81
00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:30,886
(metal detector whines)
82
00:03:32,322 --> 00:03:34,056
Whoo-hoo!
83
00:03:34,124 --> 00:03:35,724
Sandy mayonnaise crusts!
84
00:03:38,962 --> 00:03:41,163
Mmm!
85
00:03:41,231 --> 00:03:42,865
So, that-that was funny,
86
00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:45,134
running into you
at the beach today.
87
00:03:45,202 --> 00:03:47,703
I'm really glad you
got to finally meet Jenna.
88
00:03:47,771 --> 00:03:49,872
Yeah, me too.
You guys seem close.
89
00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:52,442
I mean, you certainly
watch her dog a lot.
90
00:03:52,510 --> 00:03:54,177
(chuckles)
91
00:03:54,245 --> 00:03:57,013
You know, I have to ask you
a question about her.
92
00:03:57,327 --> 00:03:58,994
Totally.
93
00:03:59,062 --> 00:04:00,896
Anything.
94
00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:03,566
Is she... Squishy Tits?
95
00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:05,201
Oh, uh...
96
00:04:05,268 --> 00:04:06,702
Oh, my God, I knew it.
97
00:04:06,770 --> 00:04:08,437
What was her deal?
Was she on drugs?
98
00:04:08,505 --> 00:04:09,939
What? No!
99
00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:11,406
Uh... low blood sugar.
100
00:04:11,474 --> 00:04:14,309
Look, don't judge her
based on that video.
101
00:04:14,377 --> 00:04:16,678
I-I'm sure you'd really like her
if you got to know her.
102
00:04:16,746 --> 00:04:19,080
Maybe we can all
hang out some time.
103
00:04:19,148 --> 00:04:20,982
Like a dinner
party or something.
104
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:23,551
You mean... at your place?
105
00:04:23,619 --> 00:04:25,019
I cook a pretty mean brisket.
106
00:04:26,455 --> 00:04:28,089
That sounds great.
107
00:04:28,157 --> 00:04:29,858
Hey, and maybe you could
even serve up some
108
00:04:29,925 --> 00:04:31,627
squ-squ-squ-squish,
a-squish-a-sh-squish...
109
00:04:31,694 --> 00:04:33,428
No. No, no.
...squish-squash, squish, squash.
110
00:04:33,496 --> 00:04:35,364
You seriously
cannot mention that.
111
00:04:41,638 --> 00:04:43,839
(mellow jazz plays)
112
00:04:48,811 --> 00:04:51,245
(knocking at door)
113
00:04:55,951 --> 00:04:57,085
Hey.
Hey!
114
00:04:57,153 --> 00:04:58,420
Welcome.
115
00:04:58,487 --> 00:04:59,587
Something smells great in here.
116
00:04:59,655 --> 00:05:01,022
Brought you some.
117
00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:03,625
Sheboygan Seasonal
Pumpkin Kale Ale.
118
00:05:03,693 --> 00:05:05,260
Oh. Great. I think
I still have the case
119
00:05:05,328 --> 00:05:07,263
that you gave me last year.
120
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:08,531
You don't have to
hoard it, buddy.
121
00:05:08,598 --> 00:05:10,733
It's not our best seller.
122
00:05:10,801 --> 00:05:12,568
But, hey, more for us,
right, bro?
123
00:05:12,636 --> 00:05:14,470
We're gonna put our coats
in your bedroom.
124
00:05:14,538 --> 00:05:15,772
Okay.
125
00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:18,040
(knocking at door)
126
00:05:21,378 --> 00:05:23,179
Hey.
Hi. I made a pie.
127
00:05:23,246 --> 00:05:25,280
Oh. You didn't have to do that.
I know...
128
00:05:25,348 --> 00:05:27,049
but I wanted to make
a good impression.
129
00:05:27,117 --> 00:05:29,184
Are they here yet?
What did you tell them about me?
130
00:05:29,252 --> 00:05:30,852
That I'm a nerdy chemist who spends
all day in a windowless lab?
131
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,821
I did. But when they
see you in that dress,
132
00:05:32,889 --> 00:05:34,022
they're not gonna believe me.
133
00:05:36,926 --> 00:05:38,860
JENNA: Hey, Amanda. Hi.
134
00:05:38,928 --> 00:05:40,328
It's good to see you again.
135
00:05:40,396 --> 00:05:42,264
Yeah, you too.
This is Drew, my fianc?.
136
00:05:42,331 --> 00:05:44,966
She makes everything
sound so fancy.
137
00:05:45,034 --> 00:05:46,735
We're getting married.
138
00:05:46,803 --> 00:05:47,836
Congratulations.
DREW: Thanks.
139
00:05:47,904 --> 00:05:49,338
That is a beautiful dress.
140
00:05:49,406 --> 00:05:50,340
Thank you.
141
00:05:50,368 --> 00:05:52,074
Ryan helped me pick it out.
142
00:05:52,141 --> 00:05:53,475
Aw.
Seriously?
143
00:05:53,543 --> 00:05:55,911
This is nice.
144
00:05:55,979 --> 00:05:57,312
I'll just put this
in the kitchen
145
00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:59,348
and get everyone some wine...
146
00:05:59,415 --> 00:06:02,785
or some Pumpkin Kale Ale.
147
00:06:02,852 --> 00:06:04,319
Oh, Jenna,
did I mention that Amanda
148
00:06:04,387 --> 00:06:05,954
went to school in Santa Barbara?
149
00:06:06,022 --> 00:06:08,524
Oh, no way! Drew and I are
getting married in Montecito.
150
00:06:08,592 --> 00:06:10,059
I love Montecito.
151
00:06:10,127 --> 00:06:11,994
Isn't it the best?
Oh, where in Montecito?
152
00:06:12,062 --> 00:06:13,696
(tapping on glass)
153
00:06:13,763 --> 00:06:15,063
Yoo-hoo.
154
00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:19,834
What are you doing here?
155
00:06:19,902 --> 00:06:21,269
I brought dessert!
156
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,937
I found it in the most charming
157
00:06:23,005 --> 00:06:24,305
little French
bakery's Dumpster.
158
00:06:24,373 --> 00:06:25,873
There's nothing in here.
159
00:06:25,941 --> 00:06:27,708
Of course there is.
160
00:06:27,776 --> 00:06:29,309
There's a giant grease stain
161
00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:31,178
and a smidge of
crusty whipped cream.
162
00:06:31,246 --> 00:06:33,881
I've already chewed up four
of these boxes this week.
163
00:06:33,948 --> 00:06:36,049
After tonight, I swear
I'm going on a cleanse.
164
00:06:36,117 --> 00:06:37,951
Oh, sorry we're late, by the way.
We?
165
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,054
Momentito.
166
00:06:41,121 --> 00:06:45,225
What are you doing sitting
over here, Cranky Pants?
167
00:06:45,292 --> 00:06:47,460
Can we just have a nice night
tonight? Please?
168
00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:50,831
Ooh, something smells divine.
No. Wilfred!
169
00:06:50,898 --> 00:06:52,399
I'll have a glass of Pinot.
170
00:06:52,466 --> 00:06:54,334
Just a club soda for Bear.
171
00:06:54,402 --> 00:06:56,136
Bear's back on the wagon.
172
00:06:56,204 --> 00:06:58,105
Five weeks sober.
It's a miracle.
173
00:06:58,173 --> 00:07:00,207
Take my coat?
174
00:07:00,275 --> 00:07:01,575
Wilfred, Wilfred,
I know what this is.
175
00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:02,910
You want to get to
know Amanda better,
176
00:07:02,977 --> 00:07:04,412
but now isn't the time.
177
00:07:04,479 --> 00:07:06,047
I need everything to
run smoothly tonight.
178
00:07:06,114 --> 00:07:07,315
And it will.
179
00:07:07,382 --> 00:07:08,916
(Jenna and Amanda talking)
180
00:07:08,984 --> 00:07:10,517
Oh, I should say hello.
181
00:07:10,585 --> 00:07:12,085
Wilfred, go home.
182
00:07:12,153 --> 00:07:13,520
Please.
183
00:07:13,588 --> 00:07:16,422
And miss out on
a delicious mingle?
184
00:07:16,490 --> 00:07:17,991
Oh, isn't that cute?
185
00:07:18,058 --> 00:07:19,859
Wilfy followed
us over to the party!
186
00:07:19,927 --> 00:07:21,327
Well, hello everyone!
187
00:07:21,395 --> 00:07:23,496
Amanda, so good
to see you again!
188
00:07:23,564 --> 00:07:24,964
No, no, no, no!
Down! Get him off...
189
00:07:25,032 --> 00:07:26,866
Get him off, get him off me!
Wilfred!
190
00:07:29,804 --> 00:07:32,105
Sorry. I...
191
00:07:32,173 --> 00:07:33,907
I'm not much of
a "dog person."
192
00:07:35,343 --> 00:07:39,546
I think I smell
something burning.
193
00:07:39,614 --> 00:07:41,348
I'm sorry.
194
00:07:41,415 --> 00:07:43,717
I can take him home
if it's gonna be a problem.
195
00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:45,285
No. No, I-I'll be fine.
196
00:07:45,353 --> 00:07:47,087
It's-it's...
I didn't want to
197
00:07:47,154 --> 00:07:48,955
make a big deal out of it.
198
00:07:49,023 --> 00:07:50,056
(sighs)
199
00:07:52,626 --> 00:07:54,961
You know, I just remembered...
200
00:07:55,029 --> 00:07:56,763
Jenna minored in art,
201
00:07:56,831 --> 00:07:59,032
and-and you... like art.
202
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:07,408
Well, I was a business major,
203
00:08:07,476 --> 00:08:09,377
but this one time
my roommate and I,
204
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,845
we had this big argument
205
00:08:10,913 --> 00:08:13,615
about whether it was
Monet or Manet.
206
00:08:13,683 --> 00:08:16,017
And it turns out
both are correct.
207
00:08:16,085 --> 00:08:18,086
(chuckles)
208
00:08:18,154 --> 00:08:20,055
That's the great thing
about art.
209
00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:22,691
I'll-I'll just, um...
210
00:08:22,758 --> 00:08:24,793
I'll go get your drinks.
211
00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:27,362
Wilfred, this is exactly why...
212
00:08:27,430 --> 00:08:29,330
Look, Ryan, I am sorry.
213
00:08:29,398 --> 00:08:31,766
I was just excited because
214
00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:33,667
I know she's a special
person in your life
215
00:08:33,735 --> 00:08:35,803
and I wanted to get
to know her better.
216
00:08:35,870 --> 00:08:38,338
But tonight's important to you,
217
00:08:38,406 --> 00:08:40,673
so I'm gonna be on my
best behavior from now on.
218
00:08:40,741 --> 00:08:43,076
Really?
219
00:08:43,144 --> 00:08:45,278
Some people like dogs,
some don't.
220
00:08:45,346 --> 00:08:47,080
It's a free country.
221
00:08:47,148 --> 00:08:50,417
You don't have to
worry about me, Ryan.
222
00:08:50,484 --> 00:08:53,419
Well, thank you for being
so mature about this.
223
00:08:53,487 --> 00:08:55,288
I mean, for a minute there
I thought you were gonna...
224
00:08:55,356 --> 00:08:57,223
Oh, shit!
225
00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:59,359
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
226
00:08:59,426 --> 00:09:01,194
What's going on?
227
00:09:01,261 --> 00:09:03,329
Isn't it obvious?
228
00:09:03,397 --> 00:09:04,864
All of the tension in the air
229
00:09:04,932 --> 00:09:06,232
has sent Bear
back to the bottle.
230
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:08,568
Five weeks down the drain!
231
00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:17,878
Hey, look, Bear's
back on the wagon again.
232
00:09:17,946 --> 00:09:19,079
Problem solved.
233
00:09:20,615 --> 00:09:22,249
WILFRED:
Bear!
234
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,520
Looks like we're in
for a bumpy night.
235
00:09:31,239 --> 00:09:32,940
Ryan, this brisket looks amazing.
Thanks.
236
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:36,276
Okay, Bear, we're almost there.
237
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,511
Whoopsie daisies.
238
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,213
WILFRED:
Excuse us, everyone.
239
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,914
Come on, let's get you
on your feet.
240
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,583
No, Bear, we're not over here.
241
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,087
No, you can't ride the go-carts
242
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,455
because we're not at
the go-cart track.
243
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,423
We're at Ryan's house, remember?
244
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,091
Um, Ryan, do you think
I could get another plate?
245
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,227
I think the dog may have
touched this as he walked by.
246
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,130
Oh... uh...
247
00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,364
Here, take mine.
248
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:04,703
My old dog used to love
licking my plate.
249
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:05,838
She was such a sweetheart, too,
250
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,374
and Wilfred loved her.
251
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,710
Then one day,
she just ran away.
252
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,880
I miss you, Lady.
253
00:10:13,948 --> 00:10:16,250
WILFRED: Yes, Bear, I
heard you the first time,
254
00:10:16,317 --> 00:10:19,220
"Six beers and Amanda's finally
starting to look boneable."
255
00:10:19,288 --> 00:10:20,721
Volume, Bear. Volume.
256
00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:24,793
You know, dogs are
very hygienic animals.
257
00:10:26,428 --> 00:10:28,630
So, Jenna...
258
00:10:28,697 --> 00:10:29,931
how's the wedding
planning going?
259
00:10:29,999 --> 00:10:31,967
Good.
I read somewhere that
260
00:10:32,034 --> 00:10:33,668
dog mouths are cleaner
than people mouths.
261
00:10:33,736 --> 00:10:35,537
That's actually
a common misconception.
262
00:10:35,604 --> 00:10:37,305
Dogs' mouths harbor
263
00:10:37,373 --> 00:10:39,508
a massive infectious
disease and viral load.
264
00:10:39,575 --> 00:10:43,311
In fact, one dog lick and you
could end up with, um...
265
00:10:43,379 --> 00:10:46,381
Hantavirus, E. Coli,
Hepatitis...
266
00:10:46,448 --> 00:10:48,116
WILFRED: Yes, I get it, Bear.
I'm your best friend.
267
00:10:48,184 --> 00:10:50,452
I'm one of the good ones.
You love me.
268
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,754
Well, I'm a journalist, and...
Yeah, I've seen your work.
269
00:10:54,023 --> 00:10:55,724
Thanks.
270
00:10:55,792 --> 00:10:58,426
I've seen plenty of research
about dogs...
271
00:10:58,494 --> 00:11:00,629
Bear, your breath!
Give me a little space!
272
00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:03,932
Oh! Oh, God.
Are you okay?
273
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,168
DREW: Okay, Wilfy, time to go.
274
00:11:06,235 --> 00:11:07,502
No, it's fine, it's fine.
275
00:11:07,570 --> 00:11:09,504
I'm sorry. I just, um...
276
00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:10,906
I'm gonna go clean up.
277
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:11,974
(dish clatters)
278
00:11:12,042 --> 00:11:13,375
You're destroying
my dinner party!
279
00:11:13,443 --> 00:11:14,977
It's not me!
It's Bear!
280
00:11:15,045 --> 00:11:17,146
Let's just get through
the rest of the night,
281
00:11:17,213 --> 00:11:20,149
and in the morning we can try
to get Bear back to rehab.
282
00:11:20,217 --> 00:11:22,117
Enough! If you keep
acting like this,
283
00:11:22,185 --> 00:11:23,986
you're gonna cost me
my first real relationship
284
00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:25,254
in almost two years.
285
00:11:28,057 --> 00:11:30,292
Wait. Since when does
Bear have two eyes?
286
00:11:30,359 --> 00:11:33,628
Bear stole that button
off Amanda's coat.
287
00:11:33,696 --> 00:11:35,363
When Bear drinks,
288
00:11:35,431 --> 00:11:37,098
all impulse control goes
out the window.
289
00:11:37,166 --> 00:11:38,766
You ruined her coat?
290
00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:40,168
Well, in all fairness,
291
00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:41,636
is keeping her little
coat buttoned up
292
00:11:41,704 --> 00:11:42,837
more important than
giving someone
293
00:11:42,905 --> 00:11:45,573
the precious gift of sight?
294
00:11:45,641 --> 00:11:48,477
Oh, God! You monster!
295
00:11:48,544 --> 00:11:50,712
It's okay, Bear.
I can fix this.
296
00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:56,251
Hmm, that's tight.
297
00:11:56,319 --> 00:11:57,686
(moaning rhythmically)
298
00:11:59,322 --> 00:12:01,056
Note to self.
299
00:12:01,124 --> 00:12:02,825
Why are you doing this?
300
00:12:02,892 --> 00:12:05,127
Are you trying to punish Amanda
for not liking you?
301
00:12:05,195 --> 00:12:06,929
Amanda doesn't seem
to like anyone.
302
00:12:06,996 --> 00:12:08,697
She says she's not
a dog person,
303
00:12:08,765 --> 00:12:11,166
but she's not really a people
person either, is she?
304
00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:13,836
The only reason people aren't
getting along is because of you.
305
00:12:13,903 --> 00:12:15,805
I had this whole night
perfectly planned.
306
00:12:15,872 --> 00:12:18,340
I told you, Ryan, you can't
force them to get along.
307
00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:21,043
Oh, yeah? Watch me.
308
00:12:27,616 --> 00:12:30,518
Listen, I'm sorry if it seemed
309
00:12:30,586 --> 00:12:33,120
like Amanda overreacted
to Wilfred.
310
00:12:33,188 --> 00:12:35,156
It's okay.
It's just a little weird
311
00:12:35,223 --> 00:12:37,424
that she doesn't like dogs,
don't you think?
312
00:12:37,492 --> 00:12:41,095
Actually, there's a reason
for that.
313
00:12:41,163 --> 00:12:43,130
When she was a kid
314
00:12:43,198 --> 00:12:46,967
she was... attacked by a dog.
315
00:12:47,035 --> 00:12:48,236
Oh, my God.
316
00:12:48,303 --> 00:12:50,038
She was walking home
from school,
317
00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:54,576
and this huge Great Dane came
out of nowhere and bit her.
318
00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:55,778
It was really traumatic.
319
00:12:55,845 --> 00:12:57,446
That poor girl.
320
00:12:57,514 --> 00:12:59,148
Where was she bit?
321
00:12:59,216 --> 00:13:02,752
On her... left butt cheek.
322
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:04,820
There's a huge scar.
323
00:13:04,888 --> 00:13:06,655
She's really sensitive
about it, so...
324
00:13:06,723 --> 00:13:08,924
I won't say anything,
I promise.
325
00:13:08,992 --> 00:13:10,626
I should probably go
check on her.
326
00:13:12,228 --> 00:13:14,862
A Great Dane bit Amanda, huh?
327
00:13:14,930 --> 00:13:17,231
That will never work.
328
00:13:17,299 --> 00:13:18,799
Oh, yeah? Why not?
329
00:13:18,867 --> 00:13:20,334
Because everyone knows
330
00:13:20,402 --> 00:13:22,202
that the Great Dane's
preferred method of attack is
331
00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:23,103
the pin-down
and-slobber-on.
332
00:13:23,171 --> 00:13:24,905
Coincidentally,
333
00:13:24,973 --> 00:13:27,341
that's also Drew's preferred
method of lovemaking.
334
00:13:27,409 --> 00:13:29,042
I know what I'm doing.
335
00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:37,351
Amanda, I am so sorry
about the wine.
336
00:13:37,419 --> 00:13:40,054
And of course I will pay
for any dry cleaning.
337
00:13:40,122 --> 00:13:42,924
No, it's fine, really.
It's okay.
338
00:13:42,992 --> 00:13:45,660
Look, I know I've been testy
tonight, but it's not you.
339
00:13:45,728 --> 00:13:47,762
I don't know if you've heard,
but there's this
340
00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:50,766
Internet video that's sort
of ruining my life right now.
341
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:54,003
Oh. Uh, no, I haven't heard
anything about it.
342
00:13:54,070 --> 00:13:55,404
I'll send you the link.
343
00:13:56,406 --> 00:13:58,441
Anyway, uh...
344
00:13:58,509 --> 00:14:00,877
I have been
super stressed-out lately.
345
00:14:00,945 --> 00:14:02,946
You know what I do
when I get stressed-out?
346
00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:04,881
There is this amazing spa
on Wilshire.
347
00:14:04,949 --> 00:14:06,216
They have natural hot springs.
348
00:14:06,283 --> 00:14:07,450
We should go sometime.
349
00:14:07,518 --> 00:14:09,719
I would love that.
How about this weekend?
350
00:14:09,787 --> 00:14:11,921
Okay, it's a date.
351
00:14:11,989 --> 00:14:13,656
You know what this calls for?
352
00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:15,458
Another round of wine.
353
00:14:17,161 --> 00:14:21,564
Well, I'm a big enough dog
to admit when I'm wrong.
354
00:14:21,632 --> 00:14:23,732
I guess you can force people
to like each other.
355
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,468
No thanks to you.
356
00:14:26,536 --> 00:14:27,803
Just one question, though.
357
00:14:27,871 --> 00:14:30,472
I've never been allowed
in a spa.
358
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,474
The patrons keep
their clothes on, right?
359
00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,010
Oh, wait, no.
360
00:14:36,078 --> 00:14:37,778
It's the opposite, isn't it?
361
00:14:42,084 --> 00:14:43,484
Looks like your lie
362
00:14:43,552 --> 00:14:45,353
about Amanda being bit
in the ass is
363
00:14:45,421 --> 00:14:47,856
about to come back to bite...
364
00:14:47,923 --> 00:14:50,458
Come on, Wilfred,
you're better than that.
365
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,594
Well, it seems like you and Jenna
are really hitting it off.
366
00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:03,964
Yeah, I'm really looking
forward to the spa.
367
00:15:04,031 --> 00:15:06,533
(quietly): I wanted to
talk to you about that.
368
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,516
Um, Jenna would never
tell you this herself,
369
00:15:09,636 --> 00:15:12,305
but she really shouldn't be
going to the spa.
370
00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:13,673
Why?
371
00:15:13,741 --> 00:15:17,578
The heat is not good for her;
372
00:15:18,145 --> 00:15:19,413
Heart condition.
373
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,747
Oh, my God.
374
00:15:20,814 --> 00:15:22,243
Why did she agree to go?
375
00:15:22,363 --> 00:15:25,252
She's too stubborn.
She doesn't want it to stop her
376
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,453
from enjoying her life, but...
377
00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:27,688
No. Thank you
for telling me.
378
00:15:27,756 --> 00:15:29,123
I'll just suggest
something else.
379
00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:31,292
That'd probably be
for the best.
380
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,295
Hey, what's the ETA
on the P-I-E?
381
00:15:34,362 --> 00:15:36,930
Coming right up!
382
00:15:36,998 --> 00:15:39,133
Jesus!
383
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,133
Let me guess, drunk Bear
threw the pie in your face?!
384
00:15:41,253 --> 00:15:43,621
Yes, Ryan, right after Bear said
385
00:15:43,689 --> 00:15:46,758
some of the most extraordinarily
hurtful things I've ever heard
386
00:15:46,825 --> 00:15:48,459
come out of someone's mouth.
387
00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:50,395
I am not a butthead!
388
00:15:50,462 --> 00:15:51,963
That's it! Bear's going.
389
00:15:52,031 --> 00:15:55,066
Bear, let go of my paw!
390
00:15:55,134 --> 00:15:57,035
You're hurting me!
Wilfred, drop it!
391
00:15:57,102 --> 00:15:59,571
Hey, is everything
okay in here?
392
00:15:59,639 --> 00:16:01,773
At the hell?!
Wilfred!
393
00:16:01,841 --> 00:16:03,375
Bear, you could've
broken my back!
394
00:16:03,442 --> 00:16:04,876
Amanda, help me up, please?
395
00:16:04,944 --> 00:16:06,845
Get the dog away from me!
396
00:16:06,912 --> 00:16:08,179
Where's your scar?
397
00:16:08,247 --> 00:16:10,115
What scar?
398
00:16:10,183 --> 00:16:12,650
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have said anything.
399
00:16:12,718 --> 00:16:14,419
What-what are you talking about?
Oh, look,
400
00:16:14,487 --> 00:16:15,821
it looks like somebody
got into the pie.
401
00:16:15,888 --> 00:16:17,522
Maybe we should go for
ice cream or something.
402
00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:19,324
Don't be mad, but Ryan
told us about that dog
403
00:16:19,392 --> 00:16:21,126
that bit you on your butt
when you were little.
404
00:16:21,194 --> 00:16:24,129
The dog that...? What?
Why would you tell them that?
405
00:16:24,197 --> 00:16:27,032
He just, he wanted us to understand
why you don't like dogs.
406
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,034
And we totally get it.
407
00:16:29,102 --> 00:16:30,436
A bite on the butt?
408
00:16:30,503 --> 00:16:31,503
That's what you told them?
409
00:16:31,571 --> 00:16:32,571
What the hell is
wrong with you?
410
00:16:32,638 --> 00:16:34,139
Don't talk to Ryan like that.
411
00:16:34,207 --> 00:16:36,474
Stay out of this, Squishy Tits.
Yikes.
412
00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:38,109
You lied to your
friends about me?
413
00:16:38,177 --> 00:16:39,343
I...
414
00:16:39,411 --> 00:16:40,444
Uh-oh, Ryan.
415
00:16:40,512 --> 00:16:42,346
Amanda was caught
with her pants down,
416
00:16:42,414 --> 00:16:44,949
and now you being caught
with your pan...
417
00:16:45,016 --> 00:16:46,784
Seriously, Wilfred?
You are off tonight.
418
00:16:46,852 --> 00:16:48,385
Look, I didn't realize
that my history with dogs was
419
00:16:48,453 --> 00:16:49,686
so important to all of you.
420
00:16:49,754 --> 00:16:51,054
But why don't I just save us
all some time
421
00:16:51,122 --> 00:16:52,522
and tell you the truth?
422
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,224
Amanda, you don't have to...
No-no-no-no-no-no,
423
00:16:54,292 --> 00:16:56,526
we're all real good
friends now, right?
424
00:16:56,594 --> 00:16:58,495
You want to know why
I don't like dogs?
425
00:16:58,563 --> 00:16:59,930
Let's share.
426
00:16:59,997 --> 00:17:02,433
When I was eight, I used
to spend every Sunday
427
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,235
at my grandfather's house.
428
00:17:04,302 --> 00:17:08,706
He had two Blue Tick hounds,
Sam and Finnigan.
429
00:17:08,774 --> 00:17:12,644
We used to take them for walks
and go for swims in the lake.
430
00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:16,315
I... I looked forward
to it all week.
431
00:17:16,382 --> 00:17:20,286
Then one Sunday,
my mom dropped me off,
432
00:17:20,354 --> 00:17:22,789
and I went inside the house,
433
00:17:22,856 --> 00:17:28,328
and there was my grandfather
lying on the kitchen floor.
434
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:32,499
He'd died of a heart attack.
435
00:17:32,566 --> 00:17:34,967
(voice breaks): He'd been
there for about a week,
436
00:17:35,035 --> 00:17:37,069
and the dogs,
they got so hungry that
437
00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:41,173
they'd eaten both his legs
and half his face!
438
00:17:43,076 --> 00:17:45,745
(slurps drool)
439
00:17:45,813 --> 00:17:48,181
And that's the last time
I remember seeing my grandpa.
440
00:17:48,249 --> 00:17:49,849
So thank you for the reminder!
441
00:17:49,917 --> 00:17:51,918
Excuse me!
442
00:17:56,891 --> 00:17:58,726
So sad.
443
00:17:58,793 --> 00:17:59,960
(knocking)
444
00:18:00,028 --> 00:18:02,296
Amanda, can I come in?
445
00:18:02,363 --> 00:18:06,100
Drew and Jenna took off.
It's, it's just me.
446
00:18:07,102 --> 00:18:08,903
Wilfred!
447
00:18:08,971 --> 00:18:12,273
No, no, it's okay.
I get it now.
448
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,176
I was lying on
the bed here crying,
449
00:18:15,243 --> 00:18:17,878
and Wilfred just came up
and cuddled up to me.
450
00:18:17,945 --> 00:18:19,846
It was like he knew
I was upset.
451
00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:25,684
And then, I don't know,
everything felt... better.
452
00:18:25,752 --> 00:18:27,453
There, there.
453
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,354
Let's get those tears
off your face.
454
00:18:29,422 --> 00:18:30,655
(sucking breath)
455
00:18:30,723 --> 00:18:32,991
(chuckles)
456
00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:36,995
Amanda, I shouldn't have lied
about the dog attack.
457
00:18:37,062 --> 00:18:39,918
Yeah. Jenna doesn't have
458
00:18:40,038 --> 00:18:41,433
a heart condition either,
does she?
459
00:18:43,435 --> 00:18:46,137
I can't believe I called
her "Squishy Tits."
460
00:18:46,204 --> 00:18:48,105
Does she hate me now?
461
00:18:48,173 --> 00:18:51,242
No, no, she doesn't...
462
00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:52,844
She'll, she'll get over it.
463
00:18:59,017 --> 00:19:01,786
I'm sorry about everything.
464
00:19:01,853 --> 00:19:04,856
I just wanted you
and Jenna to get along.
465
00:19:04,924 --> 00:19:06,874
Because if you didn't,
466
00:19:06,994 --> 00:19:09,228
I was worried that maybe
that would mean
467
00:19:09,265 --> 00:19:09,894
that you and I...
468
00:19:09,962 --> 00:19:13,231
Ryan, you never have to worry
about you and me.
469
00:19:13,299 --> 00:19:14,866
We're good.
470
00:19:14,934 --> 00:19:16,701
Really?
Yeah!
471
00:19:16,768 --> 00:19:18,536
Anyone who's gone
to all that trouble
472
00:19:18,603 --> 00:19:19,837
must care a lot.
473
00:19:19,905 --> 00:19:21,785
But I shouldn't have tried
to force it.
474
00:19:21,905 --> 00:19:24,942
I mean, hey, look at you
and Wilfred.
475
00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:28,613
I know, it's weird, right?
476
00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:31,249
Ever since the incident
with my grandfather,
477
00:19:31,317 --> 00:19:33,251
I've never felt comfortable
around dogs.
478
00:19:33,319 --> 00:19:37,889
I've always associated them
with this feeling of... doom.
479
00:19:37,957 --> 00:19:41,626
But now with Wilfred,
I don't feel afraid any more.
480
00:19:41,694 --> 00:19:43,194
I'm glad.
481
00:19:43,262 --> 00:19:45,430
Wilfred...
482
00:19:45,498 --> 00:19:46,698
means a lot to me.
483
00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:49,067
Come here, Wilfred.
484
00:19:50,804 --> 00:19:52,838
(inhaling)
485
00:19:52,906 --> 00:19:56,806
(sighs)
Nice to finally meet you.
486
00:19:57,344 --> 00:19:58,711
(sniffing deeply, sighs)
487
00:20:10,344 --> 00:20:13,980
So I hear Amanda and
Jenna are going out
488
00:20:14,048 --> 00:20:14,990
to dinner this weekend.
489
00:20:15,107 --> 00:20:16,407
Yup.
490
00:20:16,475 --> 00:20:19,477
And I had absolutely nothing
to do with it.
491
00:20:19,544 --> 00:20:21,312
I'm proud of you, Ryan.
492
00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:22,680
It's good that you're
no longer trying
493
00:20:22,747 --> 00:20:25,115
to control things.
494
00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:27,184
(TV station changes)
495
00:20:32,549 --> 00:20:34,216
Well, like any alcoholic,
496
00:20:34,284 --> 00:20:37,186
Bear had to bottom out
first, you know?
497
00:20:37,254 --> 00:20:39,121
But I'm pleased to report.
498
00:20:39,189 --> 00:20:40,623
Bear is back in the program.
499
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:42,124
Got a new sponsor.
500
00:20:42,192 --> 00:20:43,526
And I really think
501
00:20:43,593 --> 00:20:46,562
it's a step in
the right direction.
502
00:20:46,630 --> 00:20:49,198
Bear's sponsor is
an origami swan?
503
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:57,645
Look, you and I both know the paper
swan can't actually talk to Bear.
504
00:20:57,765 --> 00:20:59,974
But if it helps Bear, that's
all that matters, yeah?
505
00:21:04,458 --> 00:21:06,411
I'm very proud of you.
506
00:21:06,712 --> 00:21:11,547
Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for
www.addic7ed.com
507
00:21:11,597 --> 00:21:16,147
Repair and Synchronization by
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