Original subtitles

Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com

"Never underestimate the power of a dream."

Excuse me?

The narrator.

Yeah. He's dreaming.

Very challenging book. I love Calvino.

I was going to get on Kindle,

but then people couldn't see how deep I am.

(laughs)

Okay.

Um, I'm Cinzia Piacere.

Ryan. Newman.

Ryan?

How... Do you mind?

Sure.

Thank you.

So what does Ryan Newman do

when he's not charming Italian women on the beach?

Well, uh...

Until recently, uh, I was an attorney.

- Mm-hmm. - High-profile litigation,

corner office, expense account.

Oh. Sounds awful.

I'm going rollerblading right now.

Do you want to come with me?

Well, what have we here?

And what is that thing above them, with the mouth and eyes?

This is Wilfred.

Ciao.

(speaking Italian) What a beautiful dog!

(speaking Italian)You're so beautiful, aren't you?

(speaking Italian)Thank you, you're very beautiful too.

Mm.

What? I speak Italian.

There's a lot you don't know about me, Ryan.

Okay.

I get my things and then we go, okay?

Uh... you're going out with her?

You promised you'd pick up Jenna's dry-cleaning

and be home by 2:00 for the cable guy.

You expect me to ditch a girl like that for dry-cleaning?

We all have to make sacrifices, Ryan.

Like the story of Jesus Christ.

I'm sure the Roman soldiers wanted to hang out

at the Pantheon and stare at tits all day,

but they knew they had a duty to kill Jesus.

Uh, I'll take an eighth of the Walter Cronk.

- For, um, tendonitis. - Yeah.

I'm on 'shrooms right now.

For my, uh, scraped knee.

A beautiful woman asked to spend the day with me,

and I said no.

Why? To pick up Jenna's dry-cleaning?

Face it. We both love Jenna.

And we live to protect and serve her.

I protect, you serve.

I don't live to serve her.

And I'm not sure spending your days watching

gruesome cat deaths on YouTube counts as protecting Jenna.

I have eyes on Jenna at all times.

And, when I'm not watching, Bear is.

Bear? That rancid teddy bear you hump?

Cojetta Quisley, I need a 20 on the Golden Fox.

Yes, but is she...

Where is she?

Can you just...

CASHIER: My special today.

One of these free Tootsie Pop edibles with every purchase.

Well, why didn't you just say she was in the kitchen?

Jesus.

I swear, the minute you take the dick out of Bear's mouth,

it's like, "Nyeh, nyeh nyeh, nyeh, nyeh."

There are my guys!

Hey, who am I pointing to?

The new anchor for the 12:00 News.

- Wow. - Yeah, I start Monday.

That's amazing.

Sorry, mate, random security check.

Uh-oh. Is that a small-caliber bullet?

- Oh. - Off.

Sorry. He thinks he's protecting me.

Mr. Goofy.

Thanks. You did not have to do that.

No problem. Hey, that's great news about your job.

What do you say we go out for dinner, and...

Oh, shoot. I am late for a production meeting.

- You still cool waiting for the cable guy? - Of course.

I don't know what I would do without you.

Big Guy for PJ. Yeah, I've got my eyes all around the bases;

She's just gone in the house.

No, I do not know where your Discman is.

This isn't the proper channel for this type of discussion.

Get your head in the game!

(sighs)

This is ridiculous.

Cinzia: Ryan.

- Cinzia. - Ciao.

What are the odds?

I guess it was just meant to be.

I've been watching you run

up and down the beach for the past hour.

Well, I was just hoping that maybe we could...

spend some time together.

♪ ♪

This is the best day of my life.

Really?

(laughs) Seriously.

You know what I did yesterday?

Hm-mm.

I unclogged my sister's drain,

I helped my neighbor hang a pot rack,

and I took Wilfred to get his ears cleaned.

Wow.

All of these things that you are doing

are basically for other people, right?

What do you do for yourself?

I mean...

Life is too short.

I think you really have to do what makes you happy.

I wouldn't know where to start.

In three days I'll go to Capri,

which is a beautiful island in Italy.

And I have an uncle there who will let me use his sailboat.

Come with me.

That sounds wonderful.

- See? - But...

I, I can't.

Okay.

Then let us make the most of the short time we have lef

(speaking Italian)

So this is more important than waiting for Jenna's cable guy?

As we speak, Jenna is sitting at home,

with no Game Show Network, no MTV2, no Univision.

I'm furious, Ryan.

I'm sorry, but for once in my life,

I'm going to take care of my needs first.

I think I can make that happen.

Ryan, focus.

Right now, there is a branch scraping against Jenna's window.

How's she going to get any sleep tonight if you don't prune it?

(Ryan gasps)

Jenna. Jenna. Jenna. Jenna.

Jenna. Jenna. Jenna. Jenna.

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna...

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna,

- Jenna, Jenna... - Stop!

- Why? - No, no, no, not... not you.

- Cincia... - Yeah?

Let's do it.

Let's go to Italy.

Italy?

You didn't ask me if you could go to Italy.

As of now, we are officially not speaking.

Wilfred, get...

Ryan,

you know that all I want is for you to be happy,

but you barely know this woman.

And what about that cute girl next door

you're always talking about?

Please tell me you didn't hear that.

- Hear what? - Nothing.

Here's ten dollars.

I'm buying the unopened food processor

I gave you last Christmas.

Okay?

So, this is really happening, huh?

This Cinzia must be amazing.

She is.

I just hope we can be as happy as you and Drew.

What's wrong?

I'm sorry. It's just that...

Well, I don't tell you enough, but you mean so much to me.

And... I've never met anyone so kind and thoughtful.

And I'm going to miss you.

I'll miss you, too.

But we know who's really going to miss you.

Wilfred! Come here!

He's been kind of mopey lately.

I know this sounds crazy,

but it's almost like he knows you're leaving.

(laughs)

Just so you know, I only came over here

because Jenna called me.

Oh, God, Wilfred pooped on your lawn.

There's symbolism in that poop, Ryan.

And some grass.

And half a slipper.

I'm going to go clean it up.

No, no, no-no-no, wait. That's dangerous.

- There's dangerous bacteria in that poop. - Wilfred!

- Get out of the way. - You shouldn't, shouldn't eat it.

Just because I'm leaving,

it doesn't mean that we can't still be friends.

Friends?

What, you thought we were actually...?

Ha-ha! Ha, ha, ha.

That is hilarious.

And a little embarrassing for you, because...

I never really saw us like that.

How much for this piece-of-shit flat-screen TV?

You're selling the TV?

That is the cornerstone of our friendship!

Wilfred.

Just before my tenth birthday,

my dad sent my mom away to the sanitarium.

All I wanted for that birthday was a magic set.

But you know what my dad gave me?

A briefcase.

He said, "Ryan, no more nonsense."

I spent my whole life trying to be who he wanted me to be,

because I was afraid he was going to send me away, too.

Wow.

That... that story is long.

And boring as shit.

The point is, it's time to do what makes me happy.

Look, Ryan, you're leaving behind everything you love

for a girl you barely know.

And it just makes me wonder why.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Stick around, and keep waiting hand and foot

on a girl I can never have?

Like some obedient little lap...

(sighs)

You were gonna say "lap dog."

That's what you think of me, isn't it?

Just a silly dog who thinks his duties are far more important

- than they really are. - Wilfred...

Of course, what a bloody fool I've been.

Jenna doesn't need me anymore.

Maybe she never even did.

You know, I had dreams too, Ryan.

I wanted to herd sheep.

I... I wanted to sniff out drugs for the DEA.

Or maybe I just wanted to go to Italy like you.

You never know.

We could to go Italy...

Really?! So you and your whore would take me?

- Uh... - Yes!

Yes, Ryan, the answer's yes.

I will come with you.

Oh, Ryan.

Oh, Ryan, you're the best friend I ever had.

WILFRED: Ryan.

Ryan, check it out.

I've got a list of common Italian phrases

you're going to need to know.

Geez, Wilfred, we don't even know if

Jenna's going to let you go yet.

Why so negative?

Someone needs a little attitude adjustment.

No, thanks.

Pot candy's way too intense for me.

(knocking)

I'm on the air in an hour, and my hair looks terrible,

and these Middle-Eastern names are impossible to pronounce,

and to top it all off, the battery in my hybrid is dead.

What the shit!

Relax. I'll get my keys.

Ryan, ask her if I can go to Italy.

Are you sure? You do so much for me.

Of course. We're friends.

Ask her, ask her, ask her.

Now is not a good time.

Is now a good time?

How about now? Now?

How about now, Ryan? What about now?

Is it a good time now?

How about now?

Now? What about now?

- How about now? - I don't know, Wilfred.

Jenna's life is going through some big changes.

I think she's going to need you more than ever.

She'll be fine.

She'll probably have a team of highly trained security specialists

around her at all times.

This is the noon news we're talking about.

Oh...

You okay?

I'm just a little light-headed.

The only thing I had to eat today

was a piece of candy at your house.

- House... - What candy?

That word is weird... hou-u-se.

Wilfred, Jenna ate the Tootsie Pot.

No way, mate. Jenna doesn't do drugs.

If she ate that, she'd be totally freaking out.

(TV news theme playing)

ANNOUNCER: This is the News at Noon with Jenna Mueller,

Cal Fugasaki with sports

and Bud Mitchell with the weather.

And... action.

What?

Good afternoon and welcome to the News at Noon.

Um, let's start with sports...

(laughing): Look at my mic.

It's like a shiny little cl...

(laughing)

Ryan, I've got to save her!

Cal, you got to feel how soft my tits are...

(steady electronic tone)

Drew.

Come on in, Ryan-oceros.

I flew in right after Jenna told me what happened.

Undies on the face, undies on the face!

- What a silly dog I am. - Wilfred, no.

What, you think you can do better than undies on the face?

Hey, Jenna. I just came over to see how you were doing.

How am I doing? They fired me.

They think I was on drugs.

I've never even had a speeding ticket.

DREW: Hey, you know what, babe?

I bet you just had a mini stroke.

Yeah, I've seen newscasters get those on YouTube.

It's actually really funny.

- I didn't have a stroke, Drew. - Jenna, look!

My ear flipped inside out and I can't fix it.

Ha-ha, silly dog.

She wants to sue the station, but we can't afford a lawyer.

And I hope she just moves back to Wisconsin.

I, uh, I asked her to marry me last night.

What'd she say?

Well, she thinks I'm a total dick

for asking at a time like this.

She's thinking about it.

I like my chances.

Fingers crossed.

Oh, is that glass door open?

Some dogs would think it was closed, but not a silly dog!

Jenna, look!

(kicks door, loud thud, yells)

Son of a whore!

It was my fault, Ryan.

Why? Because she ate that pot candy?

You couldn't know.

It was my job to know.

(burping)

Ugh.

I was too distracted by my own selfish needs.

I was wrong, Ryan.

Jenna still needs me.

It's my duty to protect her.

I guess Italy will just have to wait for us.

Us?

Well, yeah.

Jenna needs you, too.

You're a lawyer, right?

I can't. I'm sorry.

You don't get it. I ruined Jenna's life,

and there's nothing I can do to fix it.

You have to help her.

No, you don't get it.

Jenna's going to marry Drew. They can work it out.

She's not my problem anymore.

So what, you're going to punish her

just because your stupid little puppy dog crush is unrequited?

She'll be fine.

If there's one thing Jenna's good at,

it's getting other people to do things for her.

Ryan, I've always had your best interests at heart.

And I've never asked for anything in return...

... except for a bunch of stuff.

Please, I'm asking you to make a sacrifice.

I'm sorry.

I'm gog to Italy with Cinzia.

Sleep on it, Ryan. Sleep on it.

(door creaking, slams shut)

(loud pounding)

Wilfred?

Ryan Newman.

You stand accused

of ditching out on the cable guy,

Not coming up with anything better than undies on the face...

Wh-What is all this?

... and the gravest of all charges--

selfishly fusing to make a sacrifice for the one you love.

These charges are very serious.

They're very serious charges.

As for the seriousness of these charges,

well, they...

Well, very serious.

And they're charges.

Wh-What are you talking about?

Mr. Newman, it would be wise to let your counsel speak for you.

Bear?

Well, you could have

represented yourself,

but you refused to be a lawyer again.

Why is that, Mr. Newman?

I-I don't want to get into that.

Who is the archeologist?

That's in the past.

The witness will answer.

Who is the archeologist?!

I am!

That's what they used to call you

at your father's firm, isn't it?

Because you used to dig up dirt on the opposition?

All right, I admit it.

What I did was completely unethical.

But I was only trying to please my father.

WILFRED: You want to talk about ethics?

Is it not unethical

to desert the woman you love

in her time of need?

- Me. - No, me.

Bro!

Please, I just want to be happy.

How can you be happy

knowing that Jenna's life will be ruined

if you abandon her?

We all have to make sacrifices for the people we love.

It's time to make a choice.

What are you going to do?

(chanting): Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna,

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna...

(yelling): What are you going to do?!

(chanting continues) (gavel pounding)

(chanting faster): Jenna, Jenna, Jenna,

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna...

(gasps)

(sighs)

Take care, huh? Adios.

(sighs) I guess we all have to make sacrifices.

Yes, we do.

I'm curious, Ryan.

What changed your mind?

I had a dream.

Well, never underestimate the power of a dream.

Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0