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1
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:04,513
I will be happy
to e-mail you
2
00:00:04,624 --> 00:00:06,158
the itinerary
for the European tour.
3
00:00:06,198 --> 00:00:07,966
No, it's not a problem
at all.
4
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,374
Okay, thank you, bye-bye.
5
00:00:09,414 --> 00:00:12,616
Who ate my yogurt?
6
00:00:12,663 --> 00:00:16,566
Which one of you
greedy, selfish, little --
7
00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:19,452
oh, there it is.
8
00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:22,799
Sorry, guys. Love ya!
9
00:00:22,847 --> 00:00:24,748
Oh, there she is.
10
00:00:24,789 --> 00:00:27,357
- Holly Tyler?
- Yeah?
11
00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:29,537
Jim DeMarco, Federal
Communications Commission.
12
00:00:29,579 --> 00:00:31,147
Hi, nice to meet you.
13
00:00:31,187 --> 00:00:33,688
We're investigating
some illegal music downloading
14
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,867
that we've traced
to your computer.
15
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:39,146
What? I mean, Holly Tyler's
not in today.
16
00:00:39,194 --> 00:00:41,261
You are aware
that downloading music
17
00:00:41,304 --> 00:00:43,438
without paying for it
is a felony.
18
00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:46,984
What? I mean,
everybody does it.
19
00:00:47,031 --> 00:00:50,067
You don't think that
every single person
20
00:00:50,113 --> 00:00:52,982
in this room hasn't
downloaded a song --
21
00:00:53,028 --> 00:00:57,265
Miss Tyler, we're gonna have to
take you down to the station.
22
00:00:57,316 --> 00:00:59,317
The station?
The police station?
23
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:01,194
Okay, it was one
Ricky Martin song.
24
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:03,603
He should be happy
that I'm interested.
25
00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:07,224
- Gotcha!
- Gotcha! - Gotcha!
26
00:01:07,264 --> 00:01:08,631
Ha ha ha ha!
27
00:01:08,671 --> 00:01:10,405
Dude, you were great!
28
00:01:10,447 --> 00:01:12,114
What? What was great?
Who was great?
29
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,090
He was great.
This was all a joke.
30
00:01:14,131 --> 00:01:15,932
Jim's a bike messenger
with me.
31
00:01:15,974 --> 00:01:18,075
And an actor.
32
00:01:18,118 --> 00:01:20,619
A joke? Okay,
what a sick joke.
33
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,065
Why would you do
something like that?
34
00:01:23,108 --> 00:01:25,143
Um, because Vince thought
that it would be funny?
35
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,653
Stupid Vince.
36
00:01:29,238 --> 00:01:31,239
Yeah, I tried
to tell him.
37
00:01:31,282 --> 00:01:33,116
Not cool, Vinnie.
Not cool.
38
00:01:33,158 --> 00:01:36,194
Hey, five minutes ago,
you two were all into this.
39
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,308
[ both muttering ]
40
00:01:38,350 --> 00:01:40,551
Okay, how could you
do this to me?
41
00:01:40,595 --> 00:01:42,763
What? We used to do stuff
like this to each other
42
00:01:42,805 --> 00:01:46,141
all the time.
I get you, you get me...
43
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,524
Six months ago, you would've
found this hi-larious.
44
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,768
Okay, you know what?
I've responsibilities now.
45
00:01:50,812 --> 00:01:52,913
I mean, this is my office.
I'm working.
46
00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:55,056
You're always working.
That's all you ever do now.
47
00:01:55,098 --> 00:01:57,733
Don't you think
it's interesting
48
00:01:57,779 --> 00:01:59,880
that ever since
you broke up with Ben,
49
00:01:59,922 --> 00:02:02,023
you're working
all the time now, Holly?
50
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:04,168
Are you trying to avoid
something or someone?
51
00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:06,278
Oh, you know what, Vince --
52
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,588
Exactly! You're trying
to avoid Vince.
53
00:02:08,632 --> 00:02:10,266
What's the problem, Holly?
54
00:02:10,307 --> 00:02:12,308
I thought we were gonna go back
to being friends.
55
00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:13,884
We are friends.
56
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,092
I never see you. Every time
I call you, you're busy.
57
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,203
Every time we're supposed
to do something, you gotta work.
58
00:02:18,246 --> 00:02:20,314
I mean, before this whole
"you broke up with Ben
59
00:02:20,356 --> 00:02:22,190
"because you liked me,
but you couldn't trust me
60
00:02:22,232 --> 00:02:23,866
because Tina threw herself
at me, blah blah, blah,"
61
00:02:23,907 --> 00:02:25,841
we used to have
so much fun.
62
00:02:25,883 --> 00:02:27,618
Oh, my God,
you are so wrong.
63
00:02:27,659 --> 00:02:29,560
My working a lot has nothing
to do with you,
64
00:02:29,601 --> 00:02:32,003
blah, blah, blah. God.
You have such a big ego.
65
00:02:32,047 --> 00:02:34,148
"And Tina threw herself
at you"?
66
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:38,427
I said so many other
relevant things.
67
00:02:40,254 --> 00:02:42,422
⪠What I like about you âª
68
00:02:42,465 --> 00:02:44,266
⪠You really know
how to dance âª
69
00:02:44,307 --> 00:02:47,609
⪠When you go up, down,
jump around âª
70
00:02:47,657 --> 00:02:49,357
⪠Talk about true romance âª
71
00:02:49,399 --> 00:02:51,233
⪠Yeah âª
72
00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:53,275
⪠Keep on whispering
in my ear âª
73
00:02:53,318 --> 00:02:55,252
⪠Tell me all the things
that I wanna hear âª
74
00:02:55,294 --> 00:02:57,362
⪠'Cause it's true âª
⪠What I like âª
75
00:02:57,404 --> 00:02:59,639
⪠That's what I like about you âª
⪠What I like âª
76
00:02:59,682 --> 00:03:01,917
⪠That's what I like about you âª
⪠What I like about you âª
77
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,562
⪠That's what I like about you âª
⪠What I like about you âª
78
00:03:04,606 --> 00:03:06,407
⪠That's what I like about you âª
⪠What I like about you âª
79
00:03:06,448 --> 00:03:07,649
⪠That's what I like about you âª
80
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,322
⪠What I like about you âª
81
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,798
⪠That's what I like about âª
⪠Hey âª
82
00:03:11,842 --> 00:03:13,876
⪠Uh-huh âª
83
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:15,820
⪠Uh-huh âª
84
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,964
⪠That's what I like about you âª
85
00:03:18,977 --> 00:03:21,677
Sync by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
86
00:03:22,058 --> 00:03:23,692
Hey, Vince,
what's going on, dude?
87
00:03:23,734 --> 00:03:25,034
Can't talk.
88
00:03:25,073 --> 00:03:27,241
Oh, well, looks who's
avoiding who now.
89
00:03:27,285 --> 00:03:29,119
We got a big problem, dude.
90
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,527
I came home, there's a padlock on our
door with an eviction notice.
91
00:03:31,574 --> 00:03:33,609
- What?
- Wexler's kicking us out the apartment.
92
00:03:33,652 --> 00:03:35,152
Oh, my God.
93
00:03:35,192 --> 00:03:36,993
The notice said the neighbors
have been complaining
94
00:03:37,035 --> 00:03:38,535
about excessive noise.
95
00:03:38,576 --> 00:03:41,778
Man, you got to stop
dancing to "Soul Train."
96
00:03:41,825 --> 00:03:44,527
You know, very often,
if you sleep with the landlord,
97
00:03:44,571 --> 00:03:49,008
he will rip up
the eviction notice.
98
00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,362
And also,
you get to have sex.
99
00:03:53,415 --> 00:03:55,182
Look, man,
Wexler is crazy, man.
100
00:03:55,224 --> 00:03:56,758
We didn't do anything wrong.
101
00:03:56,798 --> 00:03:58,699
We gotta get ourselves
a good lawyer, man.
102
00:03:58,741 --> 00:04:00,809
Oh, you guys, I have
a really good lawyer
103
00:04:00,851 --> 00:04:02,686
that we use
down in our office.
104
00:04:02,727 --> 00:04:04,928
"The Law Offices
of Suck It,
105
00:04:04,971 --> 00:04:07,640
Eat It,
and In Your Face?"
106
00:04:07,685 --> 00:04:09,619
Gotcha!
107
00:04:09,661 --> 00:04:11,261
Ha ha ha ha!
108
00:04:11,303 --> 00:04:13,270
Here's the key
to the padlock.
109
00:04:13,313 --> 00:04:14,513
What?
110
00:04:14,552 --> 00:04:16,453
I did it. I put
the eviction notice up.
111
00:04:16,495 --> 00:04:17,595
You? You did that?
112
00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:19,668
Yeah. I did it.
113
00:04:19,711 --> 00:04:20,978
This was a joke?
114
00:04:21,017 --> 00:04:22,451
Yes. Oh, my God, dude,
115
00:04:22,491 --> 00:04:24,559
you should've seen
the look on your faces.
116
00:04:24,601 --> 00:04:26,903
You were all, "Dude,
we're being evicted."
117
00:04:26,946 --> 00:04:30,448
Well, look who's doing
the fun dance now?
118
00:04:30,497 --> 00:04:33,699
Whoo! Yeah!
119
00:04:33,746 --> 00:04:36,415
Holly, that is a horrible
thing to do.
120
00:04:36,459 --> 00:04:37,960
Are you kidding me?
121
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,401
That was hi-larious!
122
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,446
Up top!
123
00:04:41,484 --> 00:04:42,818
I'm back!
124
00:04:42,857 --> 00:04:44,091
Welcome back.
125
00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:47,032
Val, this is what
friends do.
126
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,246
Cupcakes on me, suckas.
127
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,658
Okay, explain to me
what was funny about
128
00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:54,607
convincing them
that they were evicted?
129
00:04:54,648 --> 00:04:56,683
Well, Val, it was a joke.
130
00:04:56,725 --> 00:04:59,593
You know, from the Latin...
hardy-har?
131
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,142
Well, I just don't think
that is funny at all.
132
00:05:03,191 --> 00:05:05,225
Oh, well,
of course you don't.
133
00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:07,335
'Cause you're a big bore,
yes, you are.
134
00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:08,945
What?
135
00:05:08,985 --> 00:05:11,053
Oh, honey, don't go getting
all offended.
136
00:05:11,096 --> 00:05:12,697
I meant it
in a good way.
137
00:05:12,737 --> 00:05:15,739
Where is the good
in "You're a big bore"?
138
00:05:15,786 --> 00:05:18,754
I said it all cute.
139
00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:21,469
But, hey, I wish
140
00:05:21,513 --> 00:05:24,015
that I was as sensible
and reliable
141
00:05:24,059 --> 00:05:26,127
and dependable
and trustworthy and...
142
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:27,771
[ snores ]
143
00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:30,546
Oh, ha, sorry.
144
00:05:30,592 --> 00:05:33,994
But, hey, those are some
damn solid qualities.
145
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:36,676
Are you saying
that I'm a bore?
146
00:05:36,722 --> 00:05:38,890
Honey, don't make me
say it again,
147
00:05:38,932 --> 00:05:41,534
or else I'm gonna put
myself back to sleep.
148
00:05:43,823 --> 00:05:45,925
You know what? I don't
want to be a bore.
149
00:05:45,967 --> 00:05:48,402
I want to be fun and wild
and spontaneous
150
00:05:48,446 --> 00:05:50,380
and wicked crazy.
151
00:05:50,422 --> 00:05:53,090
Oh, really?
152
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:56,438
Oh, God. No. We're not
opening a whorehouse.
153
00:05:58,194 --> 00:06:00,328
Hey, guys, there was
an eviction notice
154
00:06:00,371 --> 00:06:01,971
on our door.
155
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,047
- We know. Holly --
- Yeah, we know.
156
00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:06,024
I needed my guitar,
and I couldn't get
157
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,133
into the apartment,
so I went down to Wexler,
158
00:06:08,176 --> 00:06:10,411
and he denied that he did it,
and we ended up
159
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,988
getting into this huge fight,
and he called immigration on me.
160
00:06:12,028 --> 00:06:13,362
Yeah, I'm gonna be deported.
161
00:06:13,401 --> 00:06:16,103
Oh, my God, Ben,
I'm so sorry.
162
00:06:16,148 --> 00:06:17,515
But I did it.
163
00:06:17,555 --> 00:06:19,356
What?
164
00:06:19,398 --> 00:06:21,165
I put the eviction notice up.
165
00:06:21,207 --> 00:06:24,042
You know, for funny?
166
00:06:24,087 --> 00:06:26,822
No, this isn't happening.
Holly, you think this is funny?
167
00:06:26,868 --> 00:06:28,835
They're gonna send me back
to England.
168
00:06:28,878 --> 00:06:31,579
God. I can't even
look at you right now.
169
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:33,892
Oh, Ben, now hold up, man.
What --
170
00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:39,520
Oh, my God,
what did I do?
171
00:06:39,563 --> 00:06:41,430
Okay, I gotta go
talk to him.
172
00:06:41,473 --> 00:06:43,474
No, no, no, Holly,
let him cool off.
173
00:06:43,516 --> 00:06:45,817
We'll call you later.
174
00:06:45,861 --> 00:06:47,728
What am I gonna do?
175
00:06:47,769 --> 00:06:50,204
Sweetie, I am sure there is
someone at immigration
176
00:06:50,249 --> 00:06:53,951
that Ben can sleep with.
177
00:06:56,647 --> 00:07:00,516
- Ha ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha ha!
178
00:07:00,566 --> 00:07:02,500
Did you see her face?
179
00:07:02,542 --> 00:07:04,510
You were brilliant!
180
00:07:04,552 --> 00:07:06,687
Really? I thought I went
a little over the top
181
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,365
with the "God. I can't even
look at you right now!"
182
00:07:09,409 --> 00:07:12,478
No, no, no, man, you were
totally Judi Dench in there.
183
00:07:13,731 --> 00:07:15,431
What? Can't a brother
184
00:07:15,473 --> 00:07:17,440
enjoy the "Masterpiece
Theatre"?
185
00:07:17,483 --> 00:07:19,550
So I still don't get
how you were so sure
186
00:07:19,593 --> 00:07:21,627
that it was Holly who put up
the eviction notice.
187
00:07:21,670 --> 00:07:23,804
When I saw Will Wexler's
name signed
188
00:07:23,846 --> 00:07:26,782
with Holly's famous little
circles over the "i,"
189
00:07:26,828 --> 00:07:28,429
I knew it was her.
190
00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:30,705
She tried to pull one
over on us.
191
00:07:30,747 --> 00:07:32,781
- We are the masters.
- Yes, we are.
192
00:07:32,825 --> 00:07:34,659
You know, guys,
193
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:37,168
I actually feel a little
bit bad about this.
194
00:07:37,213 --> 00:07:38,880
Are you serious?
195
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,921
No, I was acting!
196
00:07:40,964 --> 00:07:43,065
- Ha ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha ha!
197
00:07:55,284 --> 00:07:57,451
If they think
they can get us
198
00:07:57,495 --> 00:07:59,396
with that fake
deportation thing,
199
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,940
- I don't think so.
- Wow, you're really into this.
200
00:08:01,984 --> 00:08:04,719
I know. I forgot how much fun
Vince and I used to have
201
00:08:04,763 --> 00:08:06,731
doing mean things
to each other.
202
00:08:06,773 --> 00:08:08,741
Do you remember when I got him
those big pants
203
00:08:08,783 --> 00:08:10,951
and convinced him
he was shrinking?
204
00:08:10,995 --> 00:08:12,328
Three doctors!
205
00:08:12,368 --> 00:08:13,868
- Hi, guys.
- Hey.
206
00:08:13,908 --> 00:08:16,076
Sorry I took
a long lunch hour,
207
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,121
but I thought I'd do
something a little wild,
208
00:08:18,163 --> 00:08:20,831
a little wacky,
totally off the charts.
209
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,243
Like my new purse?
210
00:08:22,283 --> 00:08:23,917
Ooh, you crazy mofo.
211
00:08:23,957 --> 00:08:26,426
Yeah, I thought maybe I needed
something to go with that!
212
00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:28,705
Come see, come see!
213
00:08:28,748 --> 00:08:31,717
Goodbye, Hatchback.
Hello, Porsche!
214
00:08:31,763 --> 00:08:33,931
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
215
00:08:33,974 --> 00:08:35,308
I know!
216
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:36,814
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
217
00:08:36,855 --> 00:08:38,155
I know!
218
00:08:38,194 --> 00:08:39,862
Oh, my --
oh, we're done.
219
00:08:39,903 --> 00:08:42,805
Who's not fun now?
I am wild.
220
00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:46,186
I'm crazy.
I've got torque, baby.
221
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,035
Belle, I can't believe
you did this.
222
00:08:48,076 --> 00:08:50,211
I know. I mean, here,
I always thought
223
00:08:50,253 --> 00:08:52,221
that you were a stuffy
and responsible lady,
224
00:08:52,263 --> 00:08:54,565
but inside you are just
225
00:08:54,608 --> 00:08:57,710
a fat, middle-aged man
with a ponytail.
226
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:01,667
Hey, what's up?
Why'd you want to see us?
227
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:04,011
Oh, guys, I've got some
big news to tell you.
228
00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:07,090
So why don't you go in
and sit down?
229
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:12,113
Watch and learn
from the genius.
230
00:09:15,343 --> 00:09:18,378
Ben, oh, my God,
I feel so horrible
231
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,392
about this whole
deportation thing.
232
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,102
It's okay.
233
00:09:22,143 --> 00:09:23,777
We're gonna hide Ben
underground.
234
00:09:23,818 --> 00:09:25,885
We're gonna change his name
to Rajeeb
235
00:09:25,929 --> 00:09:28,297
and get him a job
as a taxi driver.
236
00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:31,075
Quick -- how much from Kennedy
Airport to Midtown?
237
00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:34,456
[ Indian accent ] $45.
Should I take Midtown Tunnel?
238
00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:36,505
Ben, you don't have
to do that,
239
00:09:36,547 --> 00:09:37,881
because Tina and I have been
on the internet all afternoon,
240
00:09:37,921 --> 00:09:39,321
and we found a solution.
241
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:40,861
Yeah, it turns out
all Ben has to do
242
00:09:40,902 --> 00:09:42,869
is marry
an American citizen.
243
00:09:42,912 --> 00:09:44,913
That way, he can stay
in the country.
244
00:09:44,955 --> 00:09:47,757
And since this whole thing
was kinda my fault,
245
00:09:47,802 --> 00:09:50,671
Ben...
246
00:09:50,717 --> 00:09:53,719
will you marry me?
247
00:09:53,764 --> 00:09:56,800
Ha ha ha ha!
248
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,915
Why are you laughing?
249
00:09:58,957 --> 00:10:00,925
Oh, because --
that's really sweet,
250
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,269
but I could never ask you
to do something like that.
251
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:04,913
Well, Ben, I have to.
252
00:10:04,953 --> 00:10:06,854
I mean, I feel so horrible
about this whole thing.
253
00:10:06,896 --> 00:10:09,031
Besides, when I called
immigration --
254
00:10:09,073 --> 00:10:11,007
What, you called immigration?
She called immigration for real.
255
00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:13,384
But when I gave them
your name
256
00:10:13,428 --> 00:10:15,295
and all your information,
they had no record --
257
00:10:15,338 --> 00:10:17,305
Why would you do that?
258
00:10:17,348 --> 00:10:19,082
My tourist Visa
is about to expire.
259
00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:21,424
This is gonna
red flag me.
260
00:10:21,468 --> 00:10:24,169
Do you know how hard it is
to get back into this country
261
00:10:24,214 --> 00:10:25,881
once they kick you out?
It could be years.
262
00:10:25,922 --> 00:10:28,224
I don't wanna go back.
263
00:10:28,267 --> 00:10:30,235
So, uh,
what I'm thinking is,
264
00:10:30,277 --> 00:10:32,245
that we go to city hall
first thing in the morning
265
00:10:32,287 --> 00:10:34,255
and just get married.
266
00:10:34,297 --> 00:10:35,597
Yeah.
267
00:10:35,637 --> 00:10:37,671
You guys wouldn't go
on a honeymoon
268
00:10:37,714 --> 00:10:39,781
or anything, would you?
269
00:10:39,825 --> 00:10:41,759
Oh, they have to. They have
to be convincing
270
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,234
to the immigration people.
271
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:45,809
That's really sweet
of you, Holly.
272
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,154
Ow! What's that for?
273
00:10:47,193 --> 00:10:49,595
I don't like
where this is going.
274
00:10:51,716 --> 00:10:53,550
- Ha ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha ha!
275
00:10:53,591 --> 00:10:56,427
You were so great! Oh, my God,
did you see Ben freak out?
276
00:10:56,473 --> 00:10:59,575
Yeah, I've never actually seen
somebody's hair get scared.
277
00:11:06,321 --> 00:11:08,489
Hey...Gary,
why are you smiling?
278
00:11:08,532 --> 00:11:12,869
Oh, 'cause this day just got
a whole lot better.
279
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,421
Heh heh heh heh!
280
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:25,068
Oh, great, some old lady
is trying to parallel park
281
00:11:25,113 --> 00:11:26,647
in front of my car.
282
00:11:26,688 --> 00:11:29,756
Nice driving, Miss Daisy!
283
00:11:29,803 --> 00:11:32,805
Cut your wheel,
cut your wheel!
284
00:11:32,851 --> 00:11:34,652
That's it.
285
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,583
I knew these babies
would come in handy.
286
00:11:41,627 --> 00:11:43,228
What are you doing?
287
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,303
Protecting
my investment.
288
00:11:45,346 --> 00:11:47,580
See, these cones will act
as a perimeter.
289
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:51,894
One ding, and my fun vehicle
depreciates.
290
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:55,513
Okay, um, sweetie,
why did you buy this car?
291
00:11:55,563 --> 00:11:57,630
For fun. For torque.
292
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,173
For good times.
293
00:11:59,214 --> 00:12:02,316
Oh, God. My knees
are starting to hurt.
294
00:12:02,362 --> 00:12:05,765
You know what that means?
It's gonna rain.
295
00:12:05,813 --> 00:12:08,882
Help me put up the lid.
Come on, hurry, hurry.
296
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,829
It smells like
a nor'easter.
297
00:12:13,718 --> 00:12:15,519
Oh, little girl,
298
00:12:15,561 --> 00:12:18,095
you're getting awfully close
with that ice cream to the car.
299
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:20,608
Do you not see the perimeter
of my fun vehicle?
300
00:12:28,256 --> 00:12:30,390
Are you okay?
301
00:12:35,692 --> 00:12:37,359
Can you believe her?
302
00:12:37,401 --> 00:12:39,135
She actually thought
she could trick us
303
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,877
after we tricked her
after she tricked us
304
00:12:40,918 --> 00:12:42,452
after we tricked her.
305
00:12:42,492 --> 00:12:44,393
So, wait, I'm confused.
Are we tricking her now,
306
00:12:44,436 --> 00:12:46,437
or is she tricking us?
307
00:12:46,479 --> 00:12:48,580
We're tricking her,
my little Englishman.
308
00:12:48,622 --> 00:12:51,424
[ knock on door ]
309
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:53,871
Okay, put your
game faces on.
310
00:12:58,404 --> 00:13:00,471
Hey, I got your message.
What's so important?
311
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:02,548
I was picking out
my wedding dress.
312
00:13:02,591 --> 00:13:04,859
Shh, shh, shh.
313
00:13:04,903 --> 00:13:07,071
Okay, well, uh, thank you
for e-mailing
314
00:13:07,113 --> 00:13:09,448
- the immigration forms, Mr. Ramirez.
- Who is Mr. Ramirez?
315
00:13:09,492 --> 00:13:11,560
Oh, that's the immigration guy
who's been assigned
316
00:13:11,602 --> 00:13:13,236
to Ben's and your case.
317
00:13:13,276 --> 00:13:14,243
What?
318
00:13:14,281 --> 00:13:16,049
Yeah, Ben wanted
to make sure
319
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:17,824
he had all the proper
paperwork for the wedding.
320
00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:20,033
What? What?
Ben, Ben, get off the phone.
321
00:13:20,077 --> 00:13:22,044
Okay, well, my bride
just got here,
322
00:13:22,087 --> 00:13:24,188
so I'll fill her in,
and Mr. and Mrs. Ben Sheffield
323
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:26,465
will be in your office
on Monday.
324
00:13:26,508 --> 00:13:28,576
Okay, why did you call
immigration?
325
00:13:28,618 --> 00:13:30,819
Now they know about you.
326
00:13:30,863 --> 00:13:33,064
They already knew.
You told them, didn't you?
327
00:13:33,107 --> 00:13:35,943
Right, yes, I did that.
328
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,612
Hey.
329
00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:44,622
Hey, Tina,
where are you going?
330
00:13:44,664 --> 00:13:47,199
I'm scared.
This isn't fun anymore.
331
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:50,178
What? You're scared?
Do you realize what's happening?
332
00:13:50,225 --> 00:13:52,393
All I wanted to do
is be friends with Vince,
333
00:13:52,435 --> 00:13:54,036
and now I have to marry Ben.
334
00:13:54,077 --> 00:13:56,612
I mean, why did you tell me
that they were faking
335
00:13:56,656 --> 00:13:59,458
- in the first place? It's all your fault.
- It's my fault?
336
00:13:59,503 --> 00:14:02,105
Okay, fine, I forgive you.
Just tell me what to do.
337
00:14:02,149 --> 00:14:05,051
Just calm down, okay?
Look, you'll marry him,
338
00:14:05,098 --> 00:14:07,099
and then you'll stick it out
for a couple of weeks,
339
00:14:07,141 --> 00:14:09,309
and then you'll have it
annulled.
340
00:14:09,352 --> 00:14:11,487
- So I only have to do it for a couple weeks?
- A month, tops.
341
00:14:11,529 --> 00:14:13,997
Oh, okay, well,
I can do this, right?
342
00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:15,542
I mean, it'll help Ben,
343
00:14:15,582 --> 00:14:17,550
and what's a few weeks
out of my life, right?
344
00:14:17,592 --> 00:14:19,927
Yeah, and you get
to have sex.
345
00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:22,539
Tina, I am not having sex
with my husband.
346
00:14:22,583 --> 00:14:26,386
It's like
you're already married.
347
00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:32,440
Oh, you were right.
This is so much fun.
348
00:14:32,484 --> 00:14:35,653
We didn't go anywhere.
349
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,469
Yeah, but you could feel
the torque, right?
350
00:14:38,513 --> 00:14:41,014
Come on, Val,
just around the block.
351
00:14:41,059 --> 00:14:44,461
No, but the potholes...
the potential nor'easter.
352
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:46,711
All right,
you know what?
353
00:14:46,754 --> 00:14:49,089
Give me the keys, because you
cannot have this car.
354
00:14:49,132 --> 00:14:51,433
No! What? What do you mean
I can't have this car?
355
00:14:51,477 --> 00:14:53,745
I'm having so much fun
in it.
356
00:14:53,788 --> 00:14:56,356
This is not fun!
357
00:14:56,401 --> 00:14:58,235
It's not?
358
00:14:58,277 --> 00:15:00,478
No, it's horrendous.
359
00:15:00,522 --> 00:15:04,391
I am having
a horrible, horrible time.
360
00:15:04,441 --> 00:15:08,611
Listen, Val, some people
are cut out for torque,
361
00:15:08,661 --> 00:15:11,930
and some people
are cut out for...dork.
362
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:15,480
Okay? You just have
to embrace who you are.
363
00:15:15,528 --> 00:15:17,062
A dork?
364
00:15:17,102 --> 00:15:19,671
A big dork.
365
00:15:19,716 --> 00:15:24,053
So I'm never gonna be fun?
366
00:15:24,104 --> 00:15:26,472
Well, that sucks.
367
00:15:26,515 --> 00:15:29,351
I thought maybe this one time
I could just...
368
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,497
whoop it up!
369
00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:34,042
You can't, Val.
You just can't.
370
00:15:34,086 --> 00:15:37,088
But I hereby give you
permission to go back
371
00:15:37,135 --> 00:15:39,569
to being the sensible,
wise, reliable,
372
00:15:39,613 --> 00:15:43,015
obsessive neurotic
we all love and adore.
373
00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:45,698
But, Lauren, I bought
this cool convertible,
374
00:15:45,743 --> 00:15:47,177
and I thought --
375
00:15:47,217 --> 00:15:50,019
Go back, Val.
Just go the hell back.
376
00:15:56,462 --> 00:15:59,164
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
377
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,577
to join this man
and this woman
378
00:16:01,621 --> 00:16:03,388
in holy matrimony.
379
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:05,797
She makes such
a beautiful fake bride.
380
00:16:05,842 --> 00:16:07,809
Dude, you've got
to love it.
381
00:16:07,852 --> 00:16:10,921
She looks like she's totally
freaking out.
382
00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:13,835
Ben, do you take Holly
to be your lawful --
383
00:16:13,881 --> 00:16:15,248
Hold it!
384
00:16:15,288 --> 00:16:17,289
Oh, thank God
I made it in time.
385
00:16:17,332 --> 00:16:19,533
Val, I can't believe
you came.
386
00:16:19,576 --> 00:16:21,877
You said that this wedding
was an abomination
387
00:16:21,921 --> 00:16:25,290
in the eyes of God.
388
00:16:25,337 --> 00:16:27,305
Dude, we gotta speed this up.
389
00:16:27,347 --> 00:16:29,448
My shift at Kinko's starts
in an hour.
390
00:16:29,491 --> 00:16:32,226
Look, I've been thinking
about what you're doing,
391
00:16:32,271 --> 00:16:34,506
and even though
I may not agree with it,
392
00:16:34,549 --> 00:16:36,350
I have to say
I am very proud of you
393
00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:38,025
for doing
the right thing.
394
00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:39,567
Oh, thanks, Val.
395
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,842
You brought a guest?
396
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,761
I'll go defrost
some more burritos.
397
00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:49,207
Everyone,
this is Reverend Marshall
398
00:16:49,255 --> 00:16:51,356
from the little brown church
on 34th Street.
399
00:16:51,398 --> 00:16:53,633
Amen, Reverend,
amen, amen.
400
00:16:53,676 --> 00:16:56,345
Yes, so,
I was thinking,
401
00:16:56,389 --> 00:16:58,757
since you guys are going
to go through with this,
402
00:16:58,802 --> 00:17:00,969
we should at least make it
a nice memory, you know?
403
00:17:01,012 --> 00:17:02,445
Not just have some justice
of the peace marry you.
404
00:17:02,486 --> 00:17:04,187
No offense.
405
00:17:04,228 --> 00:17:07,597
But the kind reverend
has agreed to do the honors.
406
00:17:09,722 --> 00:17:11,823
Do you want to tell them,
or should I?
407
00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:13,600
Knock yourself out.
408
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:16,076
Val, listen, there's something
I got to tell you and Holly.
409
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,687
This whole
immigration thing --
410
00:17:17,728 --> 00:17:19,629
You know what?
Don't worry about.
411
00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:21,738
I know my sister, and she's not
great with details.
412
00:17:21,781 --> 00:17:24,483
Since I am, I wanted
everything to be legal,
413
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:27,996
so I stopped by immigration,
I got all the proper forms,
414
00:17:28,045 --> 00:17:30,413
and gave them all
the necessary information.
415
00:17:30,457 --> 00:17:33,092
Oh, my God, you gave them
my information?
416
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,072
Yes, of course. Ben, my sister's
about to do something
417
00:17:36,118 --> 00:17:37,685
that is not exactly kosher,
418
00:17:37,726 --> 00:17:39,593
and I really wanted
just to make sure --
419
00:17:39,634 --> 00:17:41,235
- I have to marry her?
- He really has to marry her.
420
00:17:41,276 --> 00:17:43,344
You really have
to marry him?
421
00:17:43,387 --> 00:17:45,488
Yeah, I mean, guys, what did
you think we were doing here?
422
00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,665
But, relax,
it's only for a few weeks.
423
00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:50,043
No, no, no, honey, legally,
you have to live together
424
00:17:50,086 --> 00:17:51,653
as a married couple
for a year.
425
00:17:51,694 --> 00:17:53,429
- What?
- What? - What?
426
00:17:53,470 --> 00:17:55,671
Yeah, they check up on you.
Guys, this isn't a game.
427
00:17:55,713 --> 00:17:57,414
I knew you wouldn't
read the forms.
428
00:17:57,456 --> 00:17:59,490
[ Reverend ]: Um,
shall we begin?
429
00:17:59,532 --> 00:18:00,966
Yes, yes.
430
00:18:01,006 --> 00:18:03,842
Um, we -- Ben, um...
I can't do this for a year.
431
00:18:03,887 --> 00:18:06,755
Holly, I know, but they're
gonna kick me out.
432
00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:09,137
Leave her out of it.
Gary will marry you.
433
00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:11,515
I'll drive you up
to Vermont.
434
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,293
No, okay, listen, Ben,
I'm sorry.
435
00:18:14,338 --> 00:18:17,240
I mean, I really want
to help you,
436
00:18:17,287 --> 00:18:19,388
but I just --
I can't do this.
437
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:21,598
But we'll find
another way, I swear.
438
00:18:23,282 --> 00:18:24,416
Gotcha.
439
00:18:24,455 --> 00:18:26,256
What?
440
00:18:26,297 --> 00:18:29,933
Gotcha!
441
00:18:29,982 --> 00:18:33,150
It was all a joke!
Fake papers, fake minister...
442
00:18:33,198 --> 00:18:37,067
it was all me!
Ha ha ha ha!
443
00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:46,618
I made a joke!
A big "gotcha" joke!
444
00:18:46,663 --> 00:18:48,998
Okay, so no one
at immigration
445
00:18:49,042 --> 00:18:50,710
knows anything
about me?
446
00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:52,250
No, I didn't tell them.
447
00:18:52,291 --> 00:18:54,392
Then who's that guy?
448
00:18:54,435 --> 00:18:57,170
I sell cologne
at Barney's.
449
00:18:57,216 --> 00:18:59,984
Ha ha! Hee hee!
See, who's the funny one now?
450
00:19:00,029 --> 00:19:02,464
Me! Val!
Why? 'Cause I gotcha!
451
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,575
How? Because of Gary's
big mouth
452
00:19:04,619 --> 00:19:06,586
all on the phone
with Vince at the bakery.
453
00:19:06,629 --> 00:19:10,298
Yeah. See, I don't need
a Porsche to be fun.
454
00:19:10,346 --> 00:19:12,881
I gotcha! Ha ha!
I gotcha, gotcha, gotcha!
455
00:19:12,926 --> 00:19:16,562
Oh...it's exhausting
being funny.
456
00:19:18,185 --> 00:19:21,321
Yeah, um, Val,
that was, uh, real funny.
457
00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:23,268
Yeah,
you got us good, Val.
458
00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:25,411
Whoo-hoo.
459
00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:32,512
But, guys,
460
00:19:32,556 --> 00:19:34,456
I gotcha.
461
00:19:34,498 --> 00:19:36,732
Whew! I almost had
to marry Ben, girl.
462
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,109
Imagine --
463
00:19:38,150 --> 00:19:40,718
telling my mama
I was gonna marry a white man.
464
00:19:42,403 --> 00:19:45,105
Wait, no, I...I was just
being funny, you guys!
465
00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:47,118
It's okay when you do it,
but when I try --
466
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,695
- Gotcha!
- Gotcha! - Gotcha!
467
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:51,707
Oh, no!
468
00:19:58,013 --> 00:19:59,947
You gotta admit,
I almost got you.
469
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,258
Yeah, well,
Val got us all.
470
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:05,470
It's always
the pretty, unfunny ones.
471
00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:07,085
Yeah...
472
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:09,727
But, you know, some good
did come from this.
473
00:20:09,771 --> 00:20:13,107
I got to have fun
with my friend again.
474
00:20:13,155 --> 00:20:15,189
I missed you, Vince.
475
00:20:15,232 --> 00:20:17,533
I missed you, too.
476
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,654
Holly, will you marry me?
477
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,574
What?
478
00:20:28,296 --> 00:20:29,462
Got ya!
479
00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:30,668
Oh...
480
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,208
Face!
481
00:20:32,248 --> 00:20:34,349
Ha ha ha. You so thought
I meant it.
482
00:20:34,392 --> 00:20:35,726
No, I so did not.
483
00:20:35,765 --> 00:20:37,600
You so did. You were
gonna say yes, too,
484
00:20:37,641 --> 00:20:39,542
because you were all,
like...
485
00:20:39,584 --> 00:20:41,719
- No, I wasn't. You're so stupid.
- Oh, I'm stupid?
486
00:20:41,761 --> 00:20:44,196
- Yeah, you're stupid. Look at your stupid pants.
- They are pretty loose.
487
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,909
Yeah,
maybe they're shrinking.
488
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,555
You -- I went to three
doctors 'cause of you!
489
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,567
I know! I got you the most!
I'm the best!
490
00:20:51,602 --> 00:20:53,670
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