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00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:09,011
[ guitar strumming ]
2
00:00:09,045 --> 00:00:11,300
♪ Sometimes the rain
in your heart ♪
3
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:14,240
♪ Never goes away ♪
4
00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:20,032
Oh, my God, that was the saddest
song I've ever heard.
5
00:00:20,668 --> 00:00:22,170
Yeah, I'm gonna have
to go home
6
00:00:22,207 --> 00:00:24,117
and watch "Schindler's List"
just to cheer up.
7
00:00:26,454 --> 00:00:27,892
Oh, my God, poor Ben.
He's heartbroken.
8
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,667
What have I done
to that sweet, sweet man?
9
00:00:32,604 --> 00:00:33,876
[ Gary ]: What's up, man?
10
00:00:33,911 --> 00:00:36,515
Hey, guys. So, what did
you think of the new song?
11
00:00:37,051 --> 00:00:39,491
I call it "Love is impossible
and cruel, just kill me."
12
00:00:40,828 --> 00:00:43,100
Oh, my God, Ben,
I am so sorry.
13
00:00:43,237 --> 00:00:45,541
I mean, I can hear
the pain in your heart.
14
00:00:47,278 --> 00:00:50,314
I would give anything
if you could just get over me.
15
00:00:50,852 --> 00:00:52,986
Yeah, me too,
but Ava is just so --
16
00:00:52,989 --> 00:00:54,924
I know -- Ava?
17
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:56,794
Ava? Who's Ava?
18
00:00:58,431 --> 00:00:59,898
That's the singer
your firm just signed.
19
00:01:00,034 --> 00:01:01,669
She's sitting over
at the bar. Don't look.
20
00:01:04,908 --> 00:01:06,310
Well, so did you
ask her out yet?
21
00:01:06,847 --> 00:01:08,682
God. No.
She's way out of my league.
22
00:01:08,717 --> 00:01:10,353
Oh, I'm sure
you think she is.
23
00:01:10,388 --> 00:01:11,891
Just like you thought
other girls you dated
24
00:01:11,926 --> 00:01:12,961
were out of your league.
25
00:01:13,396 --> 00:01:14,464
No.
26
00:01:16,002 --> 00:01:17,235
Come on, not one?
27
00:01:17,971 --> 00:01:19,039
No.
28
00:01:19,474 --> 00:01:20,510
Okay, so you're
telling me
29
00:01:20,545 --> 00:01:21,613
out of all the girls
you've ever dated --
30
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:22,548
The boy said no.
31
00:01:23,785 --> 00:01:26,621
I want to ask Ava out,
but since a certain someone
32
00:01:26,657 --> 00:01:28,258
stomped all over my heart,
33
00:01:28,293 --> 00:01:29,862
my confidence
is at an all-time low.
34
00:01:32,401 --> 00:01:34,102
Oh, what a great title
for my next song.
35
00:01:35,839 --> 00:01:37,237
You know what?
Say no more.
36
00:01:37,277 --> 00:01:39,846
I am going to make this up
to you right now.
37
00:01:41,082 --> 00:01:43,017
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
what is she doing?
38
00:01:43,953 --> 00:01:45,155
She's talking,
she's fake-laughing...
39
00:01:45,491 --> 00:01:46,926
She's bringing her
over here...
40
00:01:47,162 --> 00:01:48,297
you're screwed.
41
00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:50,967
Ben, oh, my God,
look at that.
42
00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:53,072
I just saw Ava
at the bar.
43
00:01:53,107 --> 00:01:54,408
Ben, Ava.
Ava, Ben.
44
00:01:54,444 --> 00:01:55,712
Hi, I'm Gary.
45
00:01:55,846 --> 00:01:56,947
Shut up.
46
00:01:57,583 --> 00:01:58,584
[ whispers ]
What are you doing?
47
00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,486
Helping you.
48
00:01:59,721 --> 00:02:01,155
So, Ava, sit.
49
00:02:02,191 --> 00:02:03,992
Ben, why don't you
tell Ava
50
00:02:04,029 --> 00:02:05,564
how you're
from England?
51
00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:09,873
And how you put kidneys
in your pies.
52
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:13,281
[ dance music playing ]
53
00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:20,057
So, um, listen, Ava,
54
00:02:20,093 --> 00:02:21,895
I...I heard you perform at
the Limelight last week.
55
00:02:21,931 --> 00:02:23,633
Cool. Splendid.
56
00:02:24,469 --> 00:02:26,003
[ thinking ] "Splendid"?
57
00:02:26,038 --> 00:02:28,075
Oh, Ben, you might as well
ask her out for a mini pedi.
58
00:02:32,249 --> 00:02:34,251
[ thinking ]
Her boobs are splendid.
59
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,889
[ thinking ] I want
another onion ring,
60
00:02:36,925 --> 00:02:38,427
but I just started
my diet.
61
00:02:39,762 --> 00:02:42,798
So, listen, Ava,
I was wondering if perhaps
62
00:02:42,835 --> 00:02:46,238
you would like to sometime,
uh, get a meal together.
63
00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:47,643
I mean, we both have
to eat.
64
00:02:48,079 --> 00:02:49,481
It could just be
in the same building...
65
00:02:51,718 --> 00:02:52,721
No.
66
00:02:55,358 --> 00:02:56,857
Listen, you seem
like a nice guy.
67
00:02:56,896 --> 00:02:58,197
You're just not my type.
68
00:02:58,632 --> 00:03:01,035
Of course. I'm sorry to take up
so much of your time.
69
00:03:02,374 --> 00:03:04,410
[ thinking ]
Ben's gonna hate me.
70
00:03:07,247 --> 00:03:08,882
[ thinking ]
God. I hate Holly.
71
00:03:09,318 --> 00:03:10,819
[ thinking ] Screw it.
I'll start my diet tomorrow.
72
00:03:13,592 --> 00:03:15,760
♪ What I like about you ♪
73
00:03:15,797 --> 00:03:18,297
♪ You really know
how to dance ♪
74
00:03:18,434 --> 00:03:20,936
♪ When you go up, down,
jump around ♪
75
00:03:20,971 --> 00:03:23,672
♪ Talk about true romance ♪
76
00:03:23,709 --> 00:03:25,544
♪ Yeah ♪
77
00:03:25,579 --> 00:03:27,580
♪ Keep on whispering
in my ear ♪
78
00:03:27,617 --> 00:03:29,551
♪ Tell me all the things
that I wanna hear ♪
79
00:03:29,588 --> 00:03:31,656
♪ 'Cause it's true ♪
♪ What I like ♪
80
00:03:31,691 --> 00:03:33,926
♪ That's what I like
about you ♪ ♪ What I like ♪
81
00:03:33,962 --> 00:03:36,197
♪ That's what I like
about you ♪ ♪ What I like about you ♪
82
00:03:36,234 --> 00:03:38,902
♪ That's what I like
about you ♪ ♪ What I like about you ♪
83
00:03:38,939 --> 00:03:40,740
♪ That's what I like
about you ♪ ♪ What I like about you ♪
84
00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:42,975
♪ That's what I like about you ♪
85
00:03:43,012 --> 00:03:44,646
♪ What I like about you ♪
86
00:03:44,681 --> 00:03:46,116
♪ That's what I like about ♪
♪ Hey ♪
87
00:03:46,151 --> 00:03:47,186
♪ Uh-huh ♪
88
00:03:47,221 --> 00:03:49,122
♪ Uh-huh ♪
89
00:03:49,158 --> 00:03:50,260
♪ That's what I like about you ♪
90
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:54,263
Sync by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
91
00:03:58,374 --> 00:04:00,209
I can't believe
we're gonna be on TV.
92
00:04:00,846 --> 00:04:02,313
Are you wearing makeup?
93
00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:03,450
No.
94
00:04:04,785 --> 00:04:06,253
Okay, Gary, you carry
the cupcakes
95
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,357
from the back
and set them over here.
96
00:04:08,093 --> 00:04:11,296
Ooh, is it all right if I make
my entrance on the right?
97
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,402
Because, you know,
this is my best side.
98
00:04:13,938 --> 00:04:16,306
We're actually only gonna be
filming your hands,
99
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,644
but, uh,
knock yourself out.
100
00:04:17,979 --> 00:04:20,014
My hands? That's all --
my hands? All right.
101
00:04:22,453 --> 00:04:23,587
Okay, so what exactly
happens?
102
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,688
Does someone yell "action,"
or is there a big light
103
00:04:25,725 --> 00:04:26,725
that comes on?
104
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:27,827
And go!
105
00:04:28,663 --> 00:04:31,700
[ drumming outside ]
106
00:04:34,239 --> 00:04:35,773
Hi, I'm Rachel.
107
00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:38,944
And I'm standing here
in the hottest new bakery
108
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,914
in New York --
Sugar Babies!
109
00:04:40,950 --> 00:04:41,951
[ drumming gets louder ]
Cut!
110
00:04:42,487 --> 00:04:44,088
I can't work
with the tom-toms.
111
00:04:44,223 --> 00:04:46,958
I know. Sorry. I thought
you were gonna fix the tom-toms.
112
00:04:46,994 --> 00:04:48,796
I'm sorry. I spoke to
the homeless gentleman outside
113
00:04:48,931 --> 00:04:51,066
and told him we're doing
a piece for The Food Network,
114
00:04:51,102 --> 00:04:53,637
but he said he didn't care.
He doesn't have cable.
115
00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:56,643
Well, this isn't gonna
work for my sound guy.
116
00:04:56,679 --> 00:04:58,581
Drew, let's wrap it up
and get going.
117
00:04:59,016 --> 00:05:00,384
No, no, please, please.
118
00:05:00,419 --> 00:05:02,187
Um, look, let me just
go talk to him, okay?
119
00:05:02,222 --> 00:05:03,824
I'm sure I can
work something out.
120
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,028
You know, if you ever --
ever, ever, ever --
121
00:05:06,064 --> 00:05:07,631
need a humorous sidekick,
122
00:05:07,867 --> 00:05:09,437
you know,
I'm not that happy here.
123
00:05:13,275 --> 00:05:14,676
Boy, am I glad
this bakery opened.
124
00:05:14,712 --> 00:05:18,213
Sugar Babies is the best
bakery in all New York.
125
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,719
I flew in all the way
from Chicago.
126
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:20,688
The interview was canceled.
127
00:05:20,923 --> 00:05:22,057
So, how's Ben?
128
00:05:23,895 --> 00:05:25,124
Well, let's see --
129
00:05:25,164 --> 00:05:26,331
he woke up
on his ex-girlfriend's
130
00:05:26,366 --> 00:05:28,635
ex-boyfriend's couch, crying
about how his ex-girlfriend
131
00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:31,438
made a fool of him in front
of his new potential girlfriend.
132
00:05:31,474 --> 00:05:32,675
He's good.
133
00:05:33,712 --> 00:05:36,180
I feel so guilty.
It's all my fault.
134
00:05:37,115 --> 00:05:39,217
Please. That girl
was way out of his league.
135
00:05:39,253 --> 00:05:41,221
Well, he's dated
out of his league before.
136
00:05:42,059 --> 00:05:44,060
The difference is,
back then,
137
00:05:44,095 --> 00:05:45,063
he had confidence.
138
00:05:45,098 --> 00:05:46,065
But I killed it, Gary.
139
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,034
I broke Ben.
140
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:50,034
Are you wearing blush?
141
00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:52,909
Hey, I was just trying
to look pretty on television.
142
00:05:52,944 --> 00:05:53,978
That's all.
143
00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:59,419
So, the good news is, the food
lady agreed to come back.
144
00:06:00,155 --> 00:06:01,223
But unfortunately,
145
00:06:01,358 --> 00:06:03,059
your drums kinda
can't be drumming...
146
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,698
or she won't mention
my bakery on her show.
147
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,101
And then my business
will never take off,
148
00:06:07,237 --> 00:06:09,173
and I could lose everything
and end up on the street.
149
00:06:11,511 --> 00:06:12,913
Not that
that's a bad thing.
150
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:16,819
Mind if I ask
what happened?
151
00:06:17,255 --> 00:06:18,289
No.
152
00:06:19,224 --> 00:06:20,391
Same old story.
153
00:06:21,028 --> 00:06:22,763
Oh, drugs, alcohol.
154
00:06:22,798 --> 00:06:23,866
I was writing a novel.
155
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:25,635
Poor bastard.
156
00:06:26,472 --> 00:06:27,606
What?
157
00:06:28,141 --> 00:06:29,142
A novel?
158
00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:30,411
That's amazing.
159
00:06:31,246 --> 00:06:32,414
Well, actually, I haven't
finished it yet.
160
00:06:32,449 --> 00:06:34,016
Why not?
161
00:06:34,052 --> 00:06:35,087
I ran out of napkins.
162
00:06:37,324 --> 00:06:38,358
I just got stuck.
163
00:06:39,393 --> 00:06:41,096
It's hard to write without
a room of one's own.
164
00:06:41,732 --> 00:06:42,866
Virginia Woolf.
165
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,436
I love that book.
166
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:46,473
Me too.
167
00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:48,913
Although I had
to burn it for warmth.
168
00:06:51,550 --> 00:06:53,286
Oh, that's not funny.
Sorry.
169
00:06:55,022 --> 00:06:58,257
You know what? Um, we need
another dishwasher.
170
00:06:59,396 --> 00:07:01,230
Uh, maybe if you'd like
the job,
171
00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:02,601
it'll help you
get unstuck.
172
00:07:03,237 --> 00:07:04,471
And we have
a really big sink.
173
00:07:04,506 --> 00:07:05,609
You could fit, like,
a whole person in there.
174
00:07:07,646 --> 00:07:09,048
It would be amazing
175
00:07:09,082 --> 00:07:11,985
to finally finish
my novel.
176
00:07:12,322 --> 00:07:13,356
Is that it?
177
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,496
Wow. You know, I'd love
to read what you have so far.
178
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,542
Okay, it smells
like a winner.
179
00:07:27,015 --> 00:07:29,284
Hey, I got your message.
What's the big emergency?
180
00:07:29,521 --> 00:07:30,988
I finally figured out
the perfect way
181
00:07:31,023 --> 00:07:32,390
to get Ben's
confidence back.
182
00:07:32,526 --> 00:07:33,560
You want me
to sleep with him?
183
00:07:34,596 --> 00:07:36,363
Tina, we've talked
about this.
184
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,600
When trying
to solve problems,
185
00:07:37,736 --> 00:07:39,737
we use our words,
not our lady parts.
186
00:07:40,273 --> 00:07:41,975
- I always forget that.
- I know.
187
00:07:43,712 --> 00:07:45,275
Okay, so I googled
this Ava girl,
188
00:07:45,315 --> 00:07:47,050
and, man, that girl
has a lot of web pages
189
00:07:47,085 --> 00:07:49,021
for somebody who's totally
in the same league as me.
190
00:07:49,357 --> 00:07:51,425
Anyway, she dates bad boys.
191
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,529
The first guy was arrested,
and the other guy was in rehab.
192
00:07:55,066 --> 00:07:56,635
[ thinking ] I could
really go for a cupcake.
193
00:07:58,673 --> 00:08:00,441
Tina, you're not even
listening to me.
194
00:08:00,677 --> 00:08:01,811
I am. Cupcake.
195
00:08:01,946 --> 00:08:03,747
Ooh, bad boy.
Ava only dates bad boys?
196
00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:07,085
Exactly, so all we have to do
is turn Ben into a bad boy,
197
00:08:07,122 --> 00:08:08,356
and then Ava will go out
with him,
198
00:08:08,391 --> 00:08:09,825
and then Ben will get
his confidence back.
199
00:08:10,261 --> 00:08:11,662
I'd love to help you,
but I don't know how
200
00:08:11,797 --> 00:08:13,198
to get a guy arrested
now that I'm 18.
201
00:08:13,935 --> 00:08:15,169
Oh, maybe we should
just call Vince.
202
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:16,771
He's got that whole
"bad boy" thing happening.
203
00:08:16,907 --> 00:08:18,641
No, Tina, you know
I can't call Vince.
204
00:08:18,676 --> 00:08:20,710
He made it very clear that
he doesn't want to see me
205
00:08:20,748 --> 00:08:21,882
unless I want
to be his girlfriend.
206
00:08:22,116 --> 00:08:23,984
That was weeks ago. I'm sure
he's over it by now.
207
00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:26,355
No, Vince made it very clear
that he doesn't want to see me.
208
00:08:26,391 --> 00:08:27,858
I can't go there, Tina.
209
00:08:28,994 --> 00:08:30,461
Okay, fine,
maybe you're right.
210
00:08:30,598 --> 00:08:32,099
Maybe it is better
if you just stay away from him.
211
00:08:33,235 --> 00:08:35,237
So what you're saying is,
I should go to him.
212
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,041
No, I --
213
00:08:37,076 --> 00:08:40,111
Shh...what you're saying is,
Ben is over me,
214
00:08:40,148 --> 00:08:41,416
and if he got over me
so easily,
215
00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:43,218
that maybe Vince
got over me, too.
216
00:08:43,253 --> 00:08:44,621
No, no, actually,
I was saying --
217
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:45,691
I know exactly
what you're saying.
218
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,193
Since Vince is over me,
219
00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:49,095
it's totally okay
that I go see him.
220
00:08:49,131 --> 00:08:50,865
The whole "girlfriend
or nothing" rule
221
00:08:50,902 --> 00:08:52,269
no longer applies.
222
00:08:52,304 --> 00:08:53,305
No, Holly --
223
00:08:53,340 --> 00:08:55,808
Yes, listen to what
you're saying, Tina.
224
00:08:56,445 --> 00:08:59,114
Not only can Vince and I
be friends again,
225
00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:01,852
but I can help Ben, too.
Everyone wins!
226
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,997
Hi.
227
00:09:07,833 --> 00:09:08,900
I knew it!
228
00:09:09,035 --> 00:09:11,536
I knew if I waited,
you'd come back to me!
229
00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:13,006
I knew it, I knew it!
230
00:09:13,543 --> 00:09:15,010
That's why you're here,
Holly, isn't it?
231
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,480
Isn't it?
232
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,216
Um...
233
00:09:18,551 --> 00:09:20,654
I'm sorry. No.
234
00:09:25,162 --> 00:09:26,731
Why do I always
listen to Tina?
235
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,710
Hey. What the hell
is wrong with you?
236
00:09:38,546 --> 00:09:40,582
You gave that hobo a job
working in our bakery
237
00:09:40,617 --> 00:09:41,850
with clean people?
238
00:09:43,087 --> 00:09:44,288
His name is Jack.
239
00:09:45,425 --> 00:09:48,162
And "hobo" is about as P.C.
as "midget" or "oriental."
240
00:09:49,399 --> 00:09:51,201
Oh, we can't say "midget"
anymore?
241
00:09:51,538 --> 00:09:52,974
Hey, what about
lollipop kid?
242
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,412
Lauren, I think you're being
a little judgmental, okay?
243
00:09:58,449 --> 00:09:59,749
Jack is
an educated man
244
00:09:59,886 --> 00:10:01,454
who happens
to need a job.
245
00:10:02,089 --> 00:10:04,158
He's a scholar. He wrote
a brilliant novel.
246
00:10:05,194 --> 00:10:06,328
I was touched
by this man.
247
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:07,634
He touched you?!
248
00:10:09,069 --> 00:10:11,037
Oh, my God,
well, we have to sue!
249
00:10:11,473 --> 00:10:13,242
Although, what are we really
gonna walk away with?
250
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,814
You be nice.
251
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:19,151
Hey, Val, I'm sorry.
Look, my heart goes out to him,
252
00:10:19,288 --> 00:10:21,656
but I just do not feel safe
working side by side
253
00:10:21,692 --> 00:10:22,993
with a vagrant.
254
00:10:24,729 --> 00:10:25,864
Ladies, ladies, ladies,
255
00:10:25,899 --> 00:10:28,768
fresh from being snipped,
clipped, and flea-dipped,
256
00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:30,907
I give you Jack,
the homeless guy.
257
00:10:36,618 --> 00:10:38,154
I could live in a box.
258
00:10:47,638 --> 00:10:49,005
Okay, let's rehearse this.
259
00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:50,742
Gary, bring in the cupcakes.
260
00:10:51,277 --> 00:10:56,280
[ dance music playing ]
261
00:11:05,535 --> 00:11:06,836
You know what?
262
00:11:06,871 --> 00:11:08,705
Maybe we should just have
the cupcakes already
263
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,274
on the table
when we start.
264
00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:12,612
Well, then I won't be
in it.
265
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:14,716
Yeah. Yeah,
that's right.
266
00:11:17,253 --> 00:11:18,921
Gary. You okay?
267
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:21,028
Yeah, yeah.
268
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,364
I'm cool, I'm cool.
It's all good.
269
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,401
It's all good.
270
00:11:25,637 --> 00:11:27,272
Why don't they want me
to be a star?
271
00:11:31,313 --> 00:11:32,347
[ Val ]: Hey...
272
00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:33,651
Where have you two been?
273
00:11:33,685 --> 00:11:36,154
Oh, I'm sorry. Jack and I
went on a lunch date.
274
00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:37,426
Yeah, we took the subway,
275
00:11:37,461 --> 00:11:39,029
and he taught me how
to jump the turnstile.
276
00:11:39,864 --> 00:11:40,797
What?
277
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,300
She is good.
278
00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:46,340
Oh, can't lie to you.
It wasn't my first time.
279
00:11:48,979 --> 00:11:50,248
Okay, let's just,
you know, um...
280
00:11:50,282 --> 00:11:51,284
Back to work, I know.
281
00:11:54,221 --> 00:11:55,156
So...
282
00:11:55,791 --> 00:11:57,359
- You went out on a date
with Jack, huh? - Mm-hmm.
283
00:11:57,695 --> 00:11:58,762
Thought you couldn't
stand him.
284
00:11:58,797 --> 00:12:00,365
You said he was dirty
and disgusting.
285
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:02,036
You ever hear
of a pet name, Val?
286
00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:04,774
I love him now.
287
00:12:07,911 --> 00:12:09,846
I cannot believe
you would do this to me.
288
00:12:09,883 --> 00:12:11,150
Do what to you?
289
00:12:11,286 --> 00:12:12,653
You knew I liked him.
290
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:13,689
No, you said you liked
his novel,
291
00:12:13,724 --> 00:12:15,525
which, thank God,
he did not talk about.
292
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:19,430
You don't even appreciate
the real Jack.
293
00:12:19,466 --> 00:12:21,901
He is a sensitive,
artistic, intelligent soul.
294
00:12:21,938 --> 00:12:23,439
Ooh, with a beautiful ass.
295
00:12:24,776 --> 00:12:25,776
You disgust me.
296
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,245
Well, hey, if you
liked him so much,
297
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,448
why didn't you
ask him out?
298
00:12:28,984 --> 00:12:30,519
Because I was gonna
take it slow.
299
00:12:30,654 --> 00:12:32,422
Hello? I've had a lot
of rejection this year.
300
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:33,958
I thought maybe
he would say no.
301
00:12:33,994 --> 00:12:35,461
He's homeless.
302
00:12:37,098 --> 00:12:38,633
He would've gone
for the meal alone.
303
00:12:40,571 --> 00:12:42,138
Okay, fine, you know
what I'm gonna do?
304
00:12:42,174 --> 00:12:43,341
I'm gonna go ask him out
on a date.
305
00:12:43,477 --> 00:12:44,544
No, no, he's mine,
306
00:12:44,578 --> 00:12:46,513
and you've already had
a relationship this year, okay?
307
00:12:46,549 --> 00:12:48,551
- Think of how long
it's been for me. - How long?
308
00:12:48,887 --> 00:12:51,223
I want to go out with a bum.
That's how long.
309
00:12:53,961 --> 00:12:55,296
Well, I got stood up
at the altar.
310
00:12:55,331 --> 00:12:58,500
Oh, how long are you gonna
keep singing that song, sister?
311
00:12:58,637 --> 00:13:00,334
Oh, you're gonna be
the one who's singing
312
00:13:00,373 --> 00:13:01,674
at mine
and Jack's wedding.
313
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:07,851
Great. Now who's gonna do
the segment?
314
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:13,157
[ dance music playing ]
315
00:13:21,707 --> 00:13:24,442
I can't believe that
you gave me such bad advice.
316
00:13:24,478 --> 00:13:26,108
Vince doesn't want
to be my friend.
317
00:13:26,148 --> 00:13:27,649
He totally shut me out,
and you know what?
318
00:13:27,684 --> 00:13:30,418
- I don't even want
to talk about it anymore. - So why don't you --
319
00:13:30,455 --> 00:13:33,022
I'm done. It's over, okay?
I'm totally letting Vince go.
320
00:13:33,059 --> 00:13:34,192
Yeah, I can see that.
321
00:13:34,229 --> 00:13:36,063
And who needs him, anyway?
Ben is gonna look like
322
00:13:36,097 --> 00:13:39,265
a total badass
without Vince's help. - So why are you so mad?
323
00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:41,569
Because I went over there
and I didn't think
324
00:13:41,706 --> 00:13:43,206
I was gonna feel anything,
but I felt something, okay?
325
00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:46,111
So can we please drop it?
Ben, get out here!
326
00:13:50,186 --> 00:13:51,454
Look at you!
327
00:13:51,489 --> 00:13:52,959
You totally look
like a badass.
328
00:13:56,297 --> 00:13:58,199
Ben, why are you giggling?
You're supposed to look tough.
329
00:13:58,234 --> 00:14:01,538
I can't help it. The leather's
tickling my willy.
330
00:14:05,213 --> 00:14:06,848
Oh, my God.
He came.
331
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,421
Gary told me about the extreme
makeover they gave you,
332
00:14:10,456 --> 00:14:12,257
so I just came by
to see for myself.
333
00:14:13,393 --> 00:14:14,894
I'm so glad I did.
What are you wearing?
334
00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:18,100
Okay, so that's why you came
all the way down here --
335
00:14:18,136 --> 00:14:19,604
just to make fun of us?
336
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,041
Actually, just you.
337
00:14:22,477 --> 00:14:23,844
Well, I'm sorry,
338
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,248
but I only let my friends
make fun of me,
339
00:14:26,285 --> 00:14:28,052
and you made it perfectly
clear that you don't want
340
00:14:28,088 --> 00:14:29,356
to be my friend,
so you know what?
341
00:14:29,392 --> 00:14:31,093
Ben, don't listen to him.
He doesn't know
342
00:14:31,128 --> 00:14:32,262
what he's talking about.
343
00:14:32,797 --> 00:14:34,865
What's wrong with him, anyway?
He is totally bono.
344
00:14:35,901 --> 00:14:37,936
He looks like a pi�ata
in a gay bar.
345
00:14:39,073 --> 00:14:41,841
You told me that all cool
Americans dress like this.
346
00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:44,379
Dude, it's not
about the look.
347
00:14:44,515 --> 00:14:46,049
Though that one's
really bad.
348
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,354
It's all about
the attitude.
349
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,625
Right...
Right. I know that.
350
00:14:52,763 --> 00:14:53,563
Help me.
351
00:14:54,499 --> 00:14:56,367
I don't think they know
what they're doing.
352
00:14:58,873 --> 00:15:01,641
First of all, you're acting
all desperate -- not good.
353
00:15:01,678 --> 00:15:04,746
You gotta seem
totally unavailable to her,
354
00:15:04,783 --> 00:15:06,785
yet still give her hope
that she has a shot.
355
00:15:07,521 --> 00:15:09,323
Oh, my God,
that's so dumb.
356
00:15:14,966 --> 00:15:16,563
What are you doing?
357
00:15:16,804 --> 00:15:18,838
- Nothing. Why, am I...
making you nervous? - Uh, you wish.
358
00:15:18,873 --> 00:15:20,641
You want her to see you.
359
00:15:21,578 --> 00:15:23,246
Then you got
to look at her
360
00:15:23,683 --> 00:15:25,920
as if she's the only one
who can tame you.
361
00:15:29,961 --> 00:15:31,629
And then ignore her.
It drives them crazy.
362
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,399
You know what?
That is so dumb.
363
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,970
Excuse me,
am I talking to you?
364
00:15:36,806 --> 00:15:37,941
And when you know
she's into you,
365
00:15:37,975 --> 00:15:40,143
check out another girl
right in front of her.
366
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,748
Hey, how are you?
367
00:15:43,584 --> 00:15:45,419
Okay, you know what?
You are so immature.
368
00:15:45,554 --> 00:15:47,389
And that girl
was totally looking at me.
369
00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:53,165
And you know you're in when
she starts acting all jealous.
370
00:15:53,301 --> 00:15:55,002
Okay, you know what, Ben?
He's stupid.
371
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,405
Please don't listen
to him.
372
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:57,841
Then when she least
expects it...
373
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,162
And that's how you do it,
Fonzie.
374
00:16:13,670 --> 00:16:15,005
Yes, I think I'm gonna go
with Vince's way
375
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,710
because this leather
is really starting to chafe.
376
00:16:29,066 --> 00:16:30,168
Well, I finished cleaning
all the mixers.
377
00:16:30,603 --> 00:16:34,473
Oh, great. Um, listen,
Jack, um...
378
00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:35,844
I was thinking,
379
00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:39,849
maybe, uh, you and I
could go to dinner.
380
00:16:39,985 --> 00:16:42,186
And then take a moonlit stroll
by the river.
381
00:16:42,623 --> 00:16:44,390
You know,
like in your novel,
382
00:16:44,726 --> 00:16:46,662
except without being attacked
by the bum gangs.
383
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,036
Val, I appreciate
the offer.
384
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,775
I'm sorry, but I can't.
385
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:55,816
In your face!
386
00:16:58,253 --> 00:17:00,589
I thought you were in the alley
emptying the garbage.
387
00:17:00,624 --> 00:17:02,325
Yes, I was,
and, oh, by the way,
388
00:17:02,361 --> 00:17:04,596
some guy named Lenny
wearing a nightgown says hi.
389
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:07,202
Thanks.
Val, I'm sorry.
390
00:17:07,237 --> 00:17:09,071
No, Jack, it's okay.
391
00:17:09,407 --> 00:17:10,541
If you want to go out with
Lauren, that's fine with me.
392
00:17:10,577 --> 00:17:12,344
I can't do that, either.
393
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,148
Ha! Ha ha ha!
394
00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:21,027
What? I mean,
what about the turnstile?
395
00:17:21,462 --> 00:17:23,597
Guys, I'm --
I'm going back to my wife.
396
00:17:24,034 --> 00:17:25,102
- Wife?
- Wife?
397
00:17:25,537 --> 00:17:27,438
Yeah. Because of what
you did for me,
398
00:17:27,675 --> 00:17:28,742
she took me back.
399
00:17:28,976 --> 00:17:30,478
Wait, you're married?
400
00:17:31,114 --> 00:17:32,549
Ha ha,
that is unbelievable!
401
00:17:33,284 --> 00:17:35,088
Homeless woman
gets married before me.
402
00:17:36,525 --> 00:17:37,892
She's not homeless.
403
00:17:37,928 --> 00:17:40,029
No, she left me
when I hit rock bottom,
404
00:17:40,065 --> 00:17:41,800
but now you've put me back
on the right path.
405
00:17:42,036 --> 00:17:45,104
I've cleaned up. I've got
a great job and a future,
406
00:17:45,141 --> 00:17:46,342
and I owe it all to you.
407
00:17:46,577 --> 00:17:48,245
Well, you and soap.
408
00:17:49,681 --> 00:17:50,750
See ya later.
409
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:56,115
You know, we just have
to remember
410
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,061
we did a good thing here.
411
00:17:57,096 --> 00:17:59,331
Oh, yeah, blah, blah, blah.
We got dumped.
412
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:03,502
Oh, God. I can't believe
we were fighting
413
00:18:03,538 --> 00:18:04,572
over a homeless guy.
414
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:06,676
It can't get much lower
than that.
415
00:18:07,811 --> 00:18:10,681
Hey, I wonder if Lenny is still
wearing that nightgown.
416
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:12,155
Hey, Lenny!
417
00:18:21,874 --> 00:18:23,909
I cannot believe
that Ben
418
00:18:23,944 --> 00:18:25,912
is actually going
with Vince's stupid advice.
419
00:18:26,448 --> 00:18:27,649
Well, it worked on you.
420
00:18:27,684 --> 00:18:29,152
After he kissed you, your eyes
rolled back in your head
421
00:18:29,187 --> 00:18:30,221
like a slot machine.
422
00:18:30,757 --> 00:18:33,526
Well, I happen
to have an eye problem.
423
00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:39,132
Okay, should I try
the stare on Gary
424
00:18:39,169 --> 00:18:40,270
just one more time?
425
00:18:40,305 --> 00:18:41,007
I wish you wouldn't.
426
00:18:42,042 --> 00:18:43,777
Forget that, you're ready.
Now come on! Go!
427
00:18:43,812 --> 00:18:44,980
Okay.
428
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,396
Hoo hoo hoo!
Nice look away.
429
00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:58,236
I'm sorry, Holly. I just
want Ben to get lucky.
430
00:19:05,952 --> 00:19:07,953
Great. So you taught Ben
how to be a player
431
00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:09,992
just like you?
That's nice.
432
00:19:10,227 --> 00:19:11,761
Let me let you in
on a little secret.
433
00:19:12,197 --> 00:19:14,199
You can't get played
if you don't want to be.
434
00:19:14,434 --> 00:19:15,535
That's insane.
435
00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:17,238
Oh, it's true. Like,
this afternoon,
436
00:19:17,273 --> 00:19:18,475
you were dying
for me to kiss you.
437
00:19:19,111 --> 00:19:22,013
- Oh, my God,
you are so... - Irresistible?
438
00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:24,518
Come on, Holly,
look me in the eye
439
00:19:24,553 --> 00:19:25,654
and tell me you didn't
feel something.
440
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:26,857
I can't.
I have an eye problem.
441
00:19:28,093 --> 00:19:29,327
You loved that kiss.
442
00:19:29,362 --> 00:19:31,863
- I so did not.
- You so did.
443
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,934
I hated that kiss.
I wish you never kissed me.
444
00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:35,770
I wish that I could wash it
out of my brain.
445
00:19:35,773 --> 00:19:37,174
So you can't stop
thinking about it.
446
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:38,509
No. I mean, yes.
447
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:40,979
I mean, why did you have
to kiss me?
448
00:19:41,617 --> 00:19:42,650
Holly, look at me.
449
00:19:44,286 --> 00:19:45,287
I was doing
so great.
450
00:19:45,722 --> 00:19:48,756
The whole hating you
and the not seeing you --
451
00:19:48,794 --> 00:19:50,662
I mean, it was all
pretty much working for me.
452
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,701
Except for
the missing you part.
453
00:19:53,937 --> 00:19:55,705
Holly, why are you
fighting so hard?
454
00:19:55,741 --> 00:19:57,843
- Why can't
we just try this? - Because...
455
00:19:58,679 --> 00:19:59,947
I still can't trust you.
456
00:20:00,985 --> 00:20:02,822
I mean, I want to.
I really want to, but...
457
00:20:04,458 --> 00:20:05,689
I'm afraid that
458
00:20:06,729 --> 00:20:08,827
if I let myself have feelings
for you again...
459
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,602
Holly, do you trust me
as a friend?
460
00:20:12,438 --> 00:20:13,473
Of course.
461
00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:16,444
Great. We'll start
from there.
462
00:20:16,781 --> 00:20:17,714
As friends.
463
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,286
You're willing
to be my friend again?
464
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:22,756
If that's the only way
you'd trust me,
465
00:20:22,793 --> 00:20:24,793
then, yeah,
we'll take it from there
466
00:20:24,829 --> 00:20:25,930
and see what happens.
467
00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:28,268
So we're friends again?
468
00:20:28,304 --> 00:20:30,805
Like, we can still
hang out...
469
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,008
go to movies...
470
00:20:33,044 --> 00:20:34,178
have sleepovers?
471
00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:35,681
What?
472
00:20:36,717 --> 00:20:37,786
Well...
473
00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:41,993
You got to let them think
they've got a shot.
474
00:20:42,529 --> 00:20:43,864
Then you ignore them.
475
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,400
It drives them crazy.
476
00:20:49,446 --> 00:20:50,446
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