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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,567 Hi. Okay, so I have an extra ticket 2 00:00:05,610 --> 00:00:07,013 to see Ashlee Simpson tonight at the Garden. 3 00:00:07,055 --> 00:00:08,991 I was supposed to go with Tina, but as you know... 4 00:00:09,035 --> 00:00:10,304 - You're not speaking to her. - You're not speaking to her. 5 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:14,749 Holly, why don't you just call Tina and ask her to go? 6 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,607 Because Tina was her best friend 7 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,853 and she slept with Vince, her ex-boyfriend, 8 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,236 who she may or may not still be in love with. 9 00:00:21,482 --> 00:00:24,185 It's...unforgivable. 10 00:00:25,139 --> 00:00:26,307 Hey, um... 11 00:00:27,253 --> 00:00:29,255 do you want to go with me to the Ashlee Simpson show? 12 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,870 Oh, I love her, but I can't drive at night. 13 00:00:33,123 --> 00:00:34,224 Call Tina. 14 00:00:34,766 --> 00:00:36,537 Too late. She's already been deleted, 15 00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:37,848 and once you've been deleted, 16 00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:39,559 you are out of my life forever. 17 00:00:39,601 --> 00:00:42,470 Look, I get that you're hurt, I do, but don't you think 18 00:00:42,519 --> 00:00:44,620 you're being just a little bit harsh? 19 00:00:44,866 --> 00:00:46,134 I hate her. 20 00:00:48,085 --> 00:00:49,487 And since when did you think that loveless sex 21 00:00:49,528 --> 00:00:51,197 and one-night stands are okay? 22 00:00:51,441 --> 00:00:53,510 When I was 10, you told me that having sex without love 23 00:00:53,555 --> 00:00:55,157 can make a girl's ear fall off. 24 00:00:58,755 --> 00:01:00,590 So have you changed your mind? 25 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,603 - No. - So you're on my side. 26 00:01:02,747 --> 00:01:03,947 Of course I am. 27 00:01:03,987 --> 00:01:04,921 Okay, well, good, 28 00:01:04,961 --> 00:01:06,528 because my friends are dropping like flies. 29 00:01:10,326 --> 00:01:12,694 Somebody call about water damage? 30 00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:15,576 Yeah, it's right over... holy crap. 31 00:01:18,542 --> 00:01:20,709 - Oh, my God. - What? 32 00:01:21,055 --> 00:01:22,357 Do you see that guy who just came in? 33 00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:23,768 Yeah, what the hell do you think this drool is? 34 00:01:27,530 --> 00:01:28,565 Oh, my God. 35 00:01:28,705 --> 00:01:29,706 Oh, my God. 36 00:01:30,148 --> 00:01:31,182 Todd. 37 00:01:31,422 --> 00:01:32,590 You know that beautiful man? 38 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,474 Val Tyler, did you lose an ear to that man? 39 00:01:40,008 --> 00:01:41,843 Okay, wait, just so we're clear, 40 00:01:41,887 --> 00:01:43,488 we're using "losing an ear" as a metaphor 41 00:01:43,531 --> 00:01:45,198 for "having sex with," right? 42 00:01:45,443 --> 00:01:46,810 - Shh! - Shut up! 43 00:01:48,159 --> 00:01:50,993 No, you shut up. It was one night, okay? 44 00:01:51,043 --> 00:01:52,843 I just want to forget that it ever happened. 45 00:01:53,088 --> 00:01:55,523 One night -- as in one-night stand? 46 00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:57,437 You dirty bird. 47 00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:00,391 Uh, this pipe's gonna burst. 48 00:02:00,433 --> 00:02:01,835 I might need a hand down here. 49 00:02:02,881 --> 00:02:04,250 Hey, Val, is that the same line he used on you? 50 00:02:06,705 --> 00:02:08,740 Would you keep it down? Holly is in the back. 51 00:02:09,186 --> 00:02:10,154 And I have spent my whole life 52 00:02:10,193 --> 00:02:11,928 trying to set a good example for her. 53 00:02:11,972 --> 00:02:14,207 She can never know that I had a one-night liaison. 54 00:02:14,654 --> 00:02:17,423 "Liaison." Who are you -- Meryl Streep? 55 00:02:17,472 --> 00:02:18,708 You got schtupped. 56 00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:22,721 Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com 57 00:02:23,475 --> 00:02:24,976 ♪ You really know how to dance ♪ 58 00:02:25,018 --> 00:02:27,321 ♪ When you go up, down, jump around ♪ 59 00:02:27,367 --> 00:02:29,068 ♪ Talk about true romance ♪ 60 00:02:29,111 --> 00:02:30,945 ♪ Yeah ♪ 61 00:02:30,989 --> 00:02:32,990 ♪ Keep on whispering in my ear ♪ 62 00:02:33,035 --> 00:02:34,969 ♪ Tell me all the things that I wanna hear ♪ 63 00:02:35,013 --> 00:02:36,081 ♪ 'Cause it's true ♪ ♪ What I like ♪ 64 00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:38,356 ♪ That's what I like about you ♪ ♪ What I like ♪ 65 00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:40,636 ♪ That's what I like about you ♪ ♪ What I like about you ♪ 66 00:02:40,683 --> 00:02:42,351 ♪ That's what I like about you ♪ ♪ What I like about you ♪ 67 00:02:49,431 --> 00:02:51,232 ♪ That's what I like about you ♪ ♪ What I like about you ♪ 68 00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:53,075 ♪ That's what I like about you ♪ 69 00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:55,154 ♪ What I like about you ♪ 70 00:02:55,198 --> 00:02:57,033 ♪ That's what I like about ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ 71 00:02:58,686 --> 00:02:59,720 ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 72 00:02:59,761 --> 00:03:00,762 ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 73 00:03:00,768 --> 00:03:01,870 ♪ That's what I like about you ♪ 74 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,086 [ knock on door ] 75 00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:08,373 Hi! 76 00:03:08,618 --> 00:03:09,619 I'm so glad you're spending your lunch break with me. 77 00:03:09,659 --> 00:03:10,593 And you know what I was thinking about? 78 00:03:10,632 --> 00:03:13,000 The one really great thing about me hating Vince and Tina 79 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,915 is now you and I get to spend — 80 00:03:14,959 --> 00:03:16,459 24 hours a day together. 81 00:03:16,502 --> 00:03:17,607 Yay! 82 00:03:23,678 --> 00:03:24,945 You smell weird. 83 00:03:24,985 --> 00:03:27,721 Yeah, well, you know, I had a falafel on the way over. 84 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:29,843 No. 85 00:03:30,385 --> 00:03:32,121 No, Gary, that's not a falafel smell. It's — 86 00:03:32,466 --> 00:03:35,501 it's like vanilla and... 87 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:37,880 waterfalls and... 88 00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:39,230 Tina! 89 00:03:40,715 --> 00:03:41,949 Where were you 90 00:03:41,990 --> 00:03:43,591 for that missing 45 minutes this morning? 91 00:03:44,337 --> 00:03:45,437 Holly, look — 92 00:03:45,478 --> 00:03:46,844 You were with her, Gary, weren't ya? 93 00:03:46,987 --> 00:03:48,054 Weren't ya? Weren't ya? 94 00:03:48,093 --> 00:03:50,428 No, no, I got tickets to the matinee. 95 00:03:50,576 --> 00:03:52,076 What matinee, huh? Huh? Huh? 96 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:53,721 "The Vagina Monologues"! 97 00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:55,867 You are such a liar. 98 00:03:56,712 --> 00:03:58,113 It is bad enough that you live with Vince, 99 00:03:58,156 --> 00:03:59,323 the other liar, 100 00:03:59,363 --> 00:04:01,064 but now you're hanging out with Tina, too? 101 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,576 Look, just because you're in a fight with her 102 00:04:02,583 --> 00:04:04,217 doesn't mean I can't hang with her. 103 00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:05,494 That's exactly what this means. 104 00:04:06,138 --> 00:04:07,539 Do you understand that this is life, Gary? 105 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,215 You have to pick sides. 106 00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:12,129 You cannot be friends with Tina. 107 00:04:13,281 --> 00:04:14,681 But she smells so good. 108 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,725 I don't care if she smells good. 109 00:04:16,768 --> 00:04:19,436 She's a bad, bad girl. 110 00:04:19,484 --> 00:04:22,420 Okay? So now make your pick — me or Tina? 111 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:23,536 - No. - Yes. 112 00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:25,345 - No. No. - Yes. Yes. 113 00:04:25,486 --> 00:04:26,553 Fine. Tina it is. 114 00:04:27,197 --> 00:04:28,798 Oh? Tina? Really? 115 00:04:29,343 --> 00:04:30,677 Hmm. [ humming ] 116 00:04:30,718 --> 00:04:32,185 What are you doing? 117 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,198 Let's just see. Yes, "Gary home." 118 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:35,843 Delete! 119 00:04:36,788 --> 00:04:37,722 No, you didn't. 120 00:04:37,962 --> 00:04:40,197 "Gary cell" — delete! 121 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,013 Nobody deletes the Gary. 122 00:04:42,054 --> 00:04:43,621 I just did! 123 00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:45,300 [ cellular phone rings ] 124 00:04:45,307 --> 00:04:46,341 Or I just called you. 125 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,066 Hey — hey! 126 00:04:58,307 --> 00:04:59,307 Oh, I'm sorry. 127 00:04:59,347 --> 00:05:00,315 I was checking out that plumber's ass. 128 00:05:01,661 --> 00:05:02,929 [ taps glass ] 129 00:05:03,975 --> 00:05:05,276 [Todd]: Excuse me. 130 00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:07,324 Uh, next time you hide, 131 00:05:07,363 --> 00:05:08,664 you might want to do it behind a solid. 132 00:05:11,555 --> 00:05:13,257 Thanks for the, uh, ass compliment. 133 00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:14,567 Oh. Well, thanks for the ass. 134 00:05:18,597 --> 00:05:20,166 Uh, listen, it's been bugging me all day. 135 00:05:20,209 --> 00:05:21,376 Do I know you? 136 00:05:21,617 --> 00:05:22,684 Nope. 137 00:05:24,031 --> 00:05:24,765 You sure? 138 00:05:24,770 --> 00:05:26,204 Your face looks familiar. 139 00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:27,785 I just don't remember you being this short. 140 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,774 I'm — I'm the bakery lady. 141 00:05:32,821 --> 00:05:34,351 We all look alike. 142 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,906 No, no, I mean, from a long time ago. 143 00:05:39,059 --> 00:05:40,026 I just — 144 00:05:40,166 --> 00:05:41,733 What am I thinking? 145 00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:42,644 There's no way you'd be able to forget 146 00:05:42,683 --> 00:05:44,318 this smile. 147 00:05:46,741 --> 00:05:48,275 These eyebrows. 148 00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:49,821 No, huh-unh. 149 00:05:50,063 --> 00:05:51,697 But I did remember I got to take the thing 150 00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:52,907 out of the thing. 151 00:05:53,149 --> 00:05:54,579 Okay, bye-bye. 152 00:05:58,547 --> 00:06:00,515 You know, I could swear I remember her. 153 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,563 Oh, well, what do you think you remember about her? 154 00:06:02,605 --> 00:06:03,972 You know, maybe I can help. 155 00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,648 Uh, do you remember her from college? 156 00:06:05,691 --> 00:06:07,992 From high school? From the Bahamas? 157 00:06:08,038 --> 00:06:09,572 From high school? From high school? 158 00:06:10,017 --> 00:06:11,217 High school. 159 00:06:11,359 --> 00:06:14,160 Yes, that's right. Yeah, her name was — 160 00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:15,243 Val Tyler. 161 00:06:15,684 --> 00:06:16,818 Val Tyler. 162 00:06:16,858 --> 00:06:18,426 I totally remember her. Yeah. 163 00:06:18,569 --> 00:06:20,170 She had the locker right next to mine. 164 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,880 She always looked kind of troubled. 165 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:22,791 I liked that. 166 00:06:24,136 --> 00:06:25,136 But you know what? 167 00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,378 I was going out with Brenda, 168 00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:28,420 and Val was seeing this guy Rick. 169 00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:31,005 But there was this one night... 170 00:06:31,047 --> 00:06:32,248 Ooh, wait. Ooh. 171 00:06:34,802 --> 00:06:36,204 And that's on a cold day. 172 00:06:36,648 --> 00:06:38,515 Ahh! Ha ha ha ha! 173 00:06:40,235 --> 00:06:41,770 Oh, come on. Tell me about you and Val. 174 00:06:41,913 --> 00:06:43,147 Sorry, I don't kiss and tell. 175 00:06:43,390 --> 00:06:45,858 Well, from what I heard, it was more than a kiss, so tell. 176 00:06:45,904 --> 00:06:47,472 No offense, but it's kind of private. 177 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,783 Well, no offense, but she said it wasn't that hot. 178 00:06:50,231 --> 00:06:51,933 Not hot? 179 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,002 Hey, Tyler... 180 00:07:05,957 --> 00:07:07,091 Rough spring fling? 181 00:07:08,337 --> 00:07:10,773 Todd, I didn't know you were back in school. 182 00:07:11,825 --> 00:07:13,293 How was jail? 183 00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:15,608 Just community service. 184 00:07:15,649 --> 00:07:16,850 They had me reading to the blind. 185 00:07:17,091 --> 00:07:18,226 They were cool. 186 00:07:18,869 --> 00:07:19,837 So, uh... 187 00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:21,814 Hey, Brandon. 188 00:07:22,961 --> 00:07:24,061 How you doing? 189 00:07:24,101 --> 00:07:24,902 Oh... 190 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,914 Not good. Rick just broke up with me 191 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,629 right in the middle of "Ice Ice Baby." 192 00:07:31,079 --> 00:07:33,180 He said he didn't want a commitment. 193 00:07:34,130 --> 00:07:35,365 That is wack. 194 00:07:36,913 --> 00:07:38,048 If it makes you feel any better, 195 00:07:38,088 --> 00:07:40,056 Brenda called me from Paris this morning. 196 00:07:40,101 --> 00:07:42,002 She wants to take a break. 197 00:07:42,649 --> 00:07:43,617 Oh. 198 00:07:44,158 --> 00:07:45,926 That is wack also. 199 00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:47,975 I'm sorry. 200 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,240 You know, you — 201 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,281 You look different with Brenda out of town. 202 00:07:58,510 --> 00:08:00,579 Uh, I think maybe I should go. 203 00:08:01,428 --> 00:08:03,332 You want to go get something to eat? 204 00:08:04,079 --> 00:08:06,581 Oh, no, no. I don't eat after 8:00. 205 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,139 What do you do after 8:00? 206 00:08:10,385 --> 00:08:11,252 Um, homework. 207 00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:12,994 Sometimes board games. 208 00:08:14,544 --> 00:08:15,510 Ooh! 209 00:08:15,751 --> 00:08:17,418 Ever play... 210 00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:18,263 Risk? 211 00:08:18,603 --> 00:08:21,271 You know, I don't have too many more of these, 212 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,922 so, uh, are we gonna make the magic or not? 213 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,382 We are not! 214 00:08:28,227 --> 00:08:29,294 All right. 215 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,769 Hey, my loss. 216 00:08:34,968 --> 00:08:35,969 Oh. 217 00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:38,578 Did I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry. 218 00:08:38,724 --> 00:08:40,526 It's okay. Everyone does. 219 00:08:41,072 --> 00:08:42,039 I'm gonna go. 220 00:08:42,078 --> 00:08:43,714 No! No, don't go. 221 00:08:44,159 --> 00:08:45,193 I mean, 222 00:08:46,037 --> 00:08:47,071 you're so tormented. 223 00:08:47,211 --> 00:08:48,978 No one understands you. 224 00:08:49,023 --> 00:08:50,225 You're empty inside. 225 00:08:52,577 --> 00:08:54,145 Your heart hurts, doesn't it? 226 00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:56,323 - Well, uh... - Oh, shut up, Todd! 227 00:09:01,734 --> 00:09:02,668 Yep. 228 00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:05,635 You and Val at the lockers? 229 00:09:06,183 --> 00:09:07,317 Okay, hey, when did you get here? 230 00:09:07,358 --> 00:09:08,958 'Cause I don't think you're supposed to be hearing this. 231 00:09:09,705 --> 00:09:11,072 Okay, well, I did. Okay — 232 00:09:11,113 --> 00:09:13,214 She and Brenda were good friends. 233 00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:16,102 Okay, so let me get this straight. 234 00:09:16,244 --> 00:09:19,012 Val had a one-night stand with her friend's boyfriend? 235 00:09:20,368 --> 00:09:21,369 Just like Tina. 236 00:09:24,091 --> 00:09:25,291 [Val]: Oh, God. 237 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,201 - Who are you? - I'm Val's sister. 238 00:09:27,245 --> 00:09:29,046 Oh, then, yes, we did. 239 00:09:29,795 --> 00:09:30,995 Oh! Oh, my God! 240 00:09:31,036 --> 00:09:33,437 There's a fire in the kitchen! 241 00:09:33,584 --> 00:09:35,551 Everybody out, out! 242 00:09:35,595 --> 00:09:36,862 Come on! 243 00:09:36,903 --> 00:09:37,970 Let's go! 244 00:09:38,009 --> 00:09:38,777 Fire! 245 00:09:48,635 --> 00:09:49,733 Unbelievable. 246 00:09:49,777 --> 00:09:52,579 You had a one-night stand with your friend's boyfriend? 247 00:09:53,131 --> 00:09:54,532 Okay, Holly, 248 00:09:54,574 --> 00:09:56,141 look, I know that we have talked about this, 249 00:09:56,183 --> 00:09:57,718 and I always led you to believe 250 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,127 that I never had intimate relations 251 00:10:00,173 --> 00:10:01,474 till I was 25, but — 252 00:10:01,716 --> 00:10:03,985 [Holly]: Oh, come on, Val. I knew you lied to me. 253 00:10:04,232 --> 00:10:06,500 Who cares? I lie to you all the time. 254 00:10:06,546 --> 00:10:07,380 Oh! 255 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:08,953 But in all my 18 years, 256 00:10:08,994 --> 00:10:10,596 I never would have believed that you would have had 257 00:10:10,639 --> 00:10:13,774 a one-night stand with your best friend's boyfriend. 258 00:10:14,729 --> 00:10:17,933 Cheap, meaningless Tina sex. 259 00:10:20,665 --> 00:10:21,933 Hey, we haven't officially met. 260 00:10:21,974 --> 00:10:23,142 I'm Tina. 261 00:10:29,821 --> 00:10:32,157 Holly, listen to me, okay? 262 00:10:33,812 --> 00:10:35,681 The liaison I had with Todd — 263 00:10:35,725 --> 00:10:36,892 Liaison? 264 00:10:37,535 --> 00:10:38,602 Uh, tryst. 265 00:10:38,643 --> 00:10:39,844 There were three of you? 266 00:10:42,332 --> 00:10:44,400 Listen to me, okay? 267 00:10:45,047 --> 00:10:47,349 Holly, look, it might have been bad judgment, 268 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,197 but it was the spring fling, Holly. 269 00:10:49,442 --> 00:10:51,343 And Rick had just broken up with me. 270 00:10:51,688 --> 00:10:53,022 Oh, my God, I totally remember that night. 271 00:10:53,165 --> 00:10:54,666 You told Dad that you got sick at the spring fling 272 00:10:54,708 --> 00:10:56,909 and you had to spend the night at your friend Debbie's, 273 00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:59,324 which is why you missed my standup act. 274 00:10:59,336 --> 00:11:01,103 So that's why you blew off 275 00:11:01,148 --> 00:11:02,782 your little 10-year-old sister's standup? 276 00:11:02,824 --> 00:11:04,826 Because you were with the plumber? 277 00:11:05,072 --> 00:11:07,473 I wasn't a plumber back then. 278 00:11:08,123 --> 00:11:09,090 I had hopes. 279 00:11:11,176 --> 00:11:13,645 Okay, hold on. Just back it up a second. 280 00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:16,260 You were a standup at 10? Oh, my God, 281 00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,843 I was afraid to take the bus at 10. 282 00:11:19,594 --> 00:11:20,628 I cannot believe that this 283 00:11:20,668 --> 00:11:22,936 is why you missed one of the biggest days of my life! 284 00:11:23,084 --> 00:11:24,153 I killed that day at Giggles. 285 00:11:28,112 --> 00:11:33,614 [ audience cheering and laughing ] 286 00:11:41,128 --> 00:11:44,297 Maybe I should have skipped that 13th candy bar. 287 00:11:44,449 --> 00:11:47,118 [ audience laughing and applauding ] 288 00:11:52,061 --> 00:11:55,831 My parents are always bugging me to slow down. 289 00:11:55,985 --> 00:11:57,618 Take it easy. 290 00:11:57,963 --> 00:11:59,330 Take a breather. 291 00:11:59,471 --> 00:12:01,305 Hang loose. Chill out. 292 00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:02,517 Take a break. 293 00:12:03,261 --> 00:12:06,530 Hey, why would I want to take a break at home? 294 00:12:08,089 --> 00:12:10,556 That's what I go to school for. 295 00:12:10,805 --> 00:12:11,872 [ audience laughing ] 296 00:12:13,018 --> 00:12:14,886 Yeah, I guess you had to be there. 297 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,336 Well, it was very different live! 298 00:12:18,485 --> 00:12:19,585 Not that you would know, 299 00:12:19,624 --> 00:12:21,926 because you were off bathing in the afterglow 300 00:12:21,972 --> 00:12:23,606 of your friend's boyfriend. 301 00:12:24,051 --> 00:12:25,452 Ick. Like Tina. 302 00:12:25,795 --> 00:12:27,030 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 303 00:12:27,070 --> 00:12:29,105 Todd wasn't even with his girlfriend then. 304 00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:30,651 And Rick had just dumped me. 305 00:12:31,095 --> 00:12:32,831 Okay, and let me guess. You were bummed? 306 00:12:32,874 --> 00:12:34,508 Just like Tina was bummed when she went over 307 00:12:34,552 --> 00:12:35,619 and slept with Vince. 308 00:12:36,261 --> 00:12:37,629 You two are so screwed up! 309 00:12:37,671 --> 00:12:40,140 Ahh! We're screwed up? Hey! Hey! 310 00:12:40,187 --> 00:12:42,488 You, little sweetie, let me tell you something. 311 00:12:42,635 --> 00:12:45,237 Todd and I were both single at the time, all right? 312 00:12:45,284 --> 00:12:46,919 Just like Vince and Tina were both single. 313 00:12:47,062 --> 00:12:48,763 The only one who wasn't single 314 00:12:48,806 --> 00:12:50,274 in this little love triangle was you! 315 00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:52,452 So why don't you take a look at that, little missy, 316 00:12:52,497 --> 00:12:54,565 and then ask yourself — "Who's the screwed-up one here?" 317 00:12:56,419 --> 00:12:57,454 Oh, my God. 318 00:12:58,500 --> 00:12:59,434 You are so deleted! 319 00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:03,548 Let's see, "Val home" — delete! 320 00:13:03,598 --> 00:13:05,732 Ha ha ha! There goes your home number! 321 00:13:05,979 --> 00:13:06,979 Ha ha ha! 322 00:13:07,622 --> 00:13:10,324 We have the same home. You just deleted yourself. 323 00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,741 Well, don't worry. I still have a million friends left. 324 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,327 Oh, really? Holly, you better be careful, 325 00:13:15,369 --> 00:13:17,438 'cause soon you're gonna delete everybody from your life! 326 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,800 [ cellular phone rings ] 327 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,855 Yes, Holly, we are still friends. 328 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,408 Hey, and since we're friends, 329 00:13:28,447 --> 00:13:29,614 do you think you could set me up on a date 330 00:13:29,655 --> 00:13:31,690 with your sister's delicious one-night stand? 331 00:13:38,204 --> 00:13:39,773 [ cellular phone rings ] 332 00:13:39,915 --> 00:13:41,416 [ ring ] 333 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,056 [ ring ] 334 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:44,672 Where have you been? 335 00:13:44,712 --> 00:13:46,047 Your shift started a half-hour ago. 336 00:13:46,088 --> 00:13:47,456 Well, I tried to call you, like, eight times, 337 00:13:47,497 --> 00:13:48,498 but your line was busy. 338 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,105 [ ring ] Aah, that's why! 339 00:13:51,857 --> 00:13:55,025 Holly won't stop calling, and I can't take it anymore. 340 00:13:55,779 --> 00:13:57,114 I'm the only one left on Holly's phone, 341 00:13:57,155 --> 00:13:58,423 and she keeps calling me every two minutes 342 00:13:58,464 --> 00:13:59,866 to complain about everyone else, 343 00:14:00,008 --> 00:14:02,443 and let me tell you, she ain't the greatest storyteller. 344 00:14:04,199 --> 00:14:06,066 By the way, did you know she used to do standup? 345 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:09,147 Maybe I should've skipped that 13th candy bar! 346 00:14:10,303 --> 00:14:11,937 Yeah, real brilliant stuff. 347 00:14:12,783 --> 00:14:14,584 No, she's driving me crazy! 348 00:14:14,829 --> 00:14:17,331 Not to mention, I've got Val whining to me 349 00:14:17,478 --> 00:14:18,812 about Holly, too. 350 00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:20,925 And, hey, that's where Holly learned 351 00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:22,601 her excellent storytelling ability. 352 00:14:22,645 --> 00:14:23,981 [ snores ] 353 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,498 [ ring ] 354 00:14:27,542 --> 00:14:30,243 Okay, all right, stop it, stop it, make it stop, please! 355 00:14:30,292 --> 00:14:32,527 Okay, I can if you help me. I've got a plan. 356 00:14:33,175 --> 00:14:34,377 Yeah, me too. 357 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,045 That wasn't my plan. 358 00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:42,860 - But I stopped it. - Yes, you did. 359 00:14:43,305 --> 00:14:44,973 [ telephone rings ] 360 00:14:46,424 --> 00:14:47,988 [ ring ] 361 00:14:48,436 --> 00:14:50,001 She's ba-a-ack. 362 00:14:51,153 --> 00:14:52,684 [ ring ] 363 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,534 Lauren? 364 00:14:59,574 --> 00:15:00,709 Where are you at? 365 00:15:12,753 --> 00:15:13,786 My God... 366 00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,998 I've gotta call Val... deleted. 367 00:15:17,447 --> 00:15:19,115 I've gotta call Tina... deleted. 368 00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:20,294 Oh, no, my whole posse's been deleted! 369 00:15:22,243 --> 00:15:23,411 No! 370 00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:28,168 Okay, Lauren, I think you can stop 371 00:15:28,214 --> 00:15:29,247 because she's gone. 372 00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:30,556 No. No, she could come back. 373 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,801 No, no, no, no. I really think that she's gone. 374 00:15:33,948 --> 00:15:36,316 Look, it's been a while, damn it. Just humor me. 375 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:47,599 Hey. 376 00:15:47,707 --> 00:15:48,470 Hey. 377 00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:49,480 How's Holly? 378 00:15:49,921 --> 00:15:51,423 I wouldn't know. She's not talking to me. 379 00:15:52,169 --> 00:15:53,538 Why isn't she talking to you? 380 00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:54,646 What'd you do? 381 00:15:54,686 --> 00:15:56,854 Well, the same thing as you, actually. 382 00:15:57,202 --> 00:15:58,803 Oh, my God, you slept with Vince, too? 383 00:16:00,756 --> 00:16:02,123 Val! Oh, good, you're both here. 384 00:16:02,166 --> 00:16:03,467 You are not gonna believe this. 385 00:16:03,508 --> 00:16:06,144 Gary and Lauren were just making out in the bakery. 386 00:16:06,191 --> 00:16:09,192 - What? - Yes, totally making out. 387 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,911 - No way. - Gary and Lauren? 388 00:16:11,155 --> 00:16:12,723 Yes, it was all hair and elbows. 389 00:16:12,866 --> 00:16:15,066 - Poor Gary. - Poor Lauren. 390 00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:16,582 So come on, let's go! 391 00:16:16,823 --> 00:16:18,056 Okay, come on! 392 00:16:18,097 --> 00:16:20,831 Okay — no, no, wait! We can't do this. 393 00:16:21,584 --> 00:16:22,485 Not without my camera. 394 00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:26,036 I got it, I got it! 395 00:16:26,177 --> 00:16:27,178 Go! Move! 396 00:16:28,973 --> 00:16:31,395 Ooh, there they are. I knew it, I knew it! 397 00:16:31,844 --> 00:16:33,211 Are they coming this time, or is this a trick? 398 00:16:33,353 --> 00:16:34,420 Okay, just come here. 399 00:16:36,741 --> 00:16:38,637 They're still going at it! 400 00:16:39,591 --> 00:16:40,592 No! Lauren! 401 00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:44,376 How long have you two been... 402 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,788 Oh, you know, not long. 403 00:16:46,534 --> 00:16:48,101 But I do have to say, the first time 404 00:16:48,245 --> 00:16:51,046 that I saw Lauren, I...I fell in love. 405 00:16:52,101 --> 00:16:53,101 Really? 406 00:16:55,655 --> 00:16:56,757 Gotcha! 407 00:16:58,103 --> 00:17:00,839 Ha ha ha! Yeah! Yeah! 408 00:17:00,988 --> 00:17:02,055 We gotcha! 409 00:17:02,698 --> 00:17:03,765 What? 410 00:17:04,005 --> 00:17:04,772 Well, it was a setup. 411 00:17:04,912 --> 00:17:08,580 One, hot, beautiful ebony and ivory setup. 412 00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:12,076 We figured we had to do something big 413 00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:13,288 to get you guys talking again. 414 00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:15,369 Oh, my God. Oh... 415 00:17:17,017 --> 00:17:17,953 We're not talking. 416 00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:21,457 But we're talking now, and it feels really good. 417 00:17:22,016 --> 00:17:23,383 It does feel really good. 418 00:17:26,242 --> 00:17:28,477 Holly, I am so sorry about what happened with Vince. 419 00:17:28,623 --> 00:17:30,425 I swear to God, I never meant to hurt you. 420 00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:31,503 You're my best friend, 421 00:17:31,543 --> 00:17:33,310 and it was a stupid, stupid thing to do. 422 00:17:33,857 --> 00:17:34,824 Can you ever forgive me? 423 00:17:35,568 --> 00:17:37,436 Tina, you know what I realized today? 424 00:17:39,389 --> 00:17:41,157 I have no other friends. 425 00:17:42,507 --> 00:17:43,742 Me neither. 426 00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:47,360 And sometimes, friends do stupid, stupid things. 427 00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:48,670 Especially when they're bummed 428 00:17:48,714 --> 00:17:49,982 because they just got broken up with, 429 00:17:50,022 --> 00:17:51,623 and they're vulnerable, 430 00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:54,168 and they're not thinking straight, and... 431 00:17:54,617 --> 00:17:56,452 maybe they're just a little bit slutty. 432 00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:00,575 Aw, you know me so well. 433 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,175 What about me? 434 00:18:05,215 --> 00:18:06,249 Aww, you're slutty, too. 435 00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:10,601 Oh, look at 'em, Gary. We did it. 436 00:18:11,353 --> 00:18:12,621 Do you want to do it again? 437 00:18:12,964 --> 00:18:14,064 No. 438 00:18:14,104 --> 00:18:15,370 Was that a "yes"? 439 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,068 Okay. 440 00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:23,484 My work here is done. 441 00:18:23,828 --> 00:18:25,095 Oh, thank you, God. 442 00:18:25,136 --> 00:18:26,271 You can call me Todd. 443 00:18:27,014 --> 00:18:28,248 Ew. 444 00:18:28,992 --> 00:18:30,193 How much do I owe you? 445 00:18:30,736 --> 00:18:33,672 You know, I think dinner would more than cover it. 446 00:18:34,124 --> 00:18:35,258 Okay. 447 00:18:36,605 --> 00:18:38,206 Let's get this straight, all right? 448 00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:40,317 What happened in high school was a one-time thing. 449 00:18:40,463 --> 00:18:42,531 You and I have no magic. 450 00:18:42,978 --> 00:18:45,614 That eyebrow caught me on a lonely night. 451 00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:49,410 I was vulnerable, I was heartbroken, 452 00:18:49,654 --> 00:18:51,722 I was a stupid kid, but I'm not a stupid kid anymore. 453 00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:53,735 Never in a million years would I ever — 454 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,342 I'll pick you up tomorrow night at 8:00. 455 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,618 So, I'm guessing Brenda's still in Paris? 456 00:19:15,209 --> 00:19:16,309 No. 457 00:19:16,350 --> 00:19:18,584 Holly, you don't think that I — 458 00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:20,864 Val, I'm just kidding. Don't you know 459 00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:21,878 that your sister's a funny girl? 460 00:19:22,319 --> 00:19:24,554 Right, yes, how could I forget? 461 00:19:27,315 --> 00:19:29,883 I guess I shouldn't have had that 13th candy bar! 462 00:19:31,741 --> 00:19:33,376 Well, it's not funny if you do it like that. 463 00:19:42,340 --> 00:19:44,142 Oh! Oh! I'm so glad that we're all friends again, 464 00:19:44,186 --> 00:19:45,684 because now we can all watch my comedy tape together! 465 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,076 And how glad am I that you found it? 466 00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:52,565 Now, tell me again, 467 00:19:52,605 --> 00:19:53,940 why do I have to sit through this? 468 00:19:53,981 --> 00:19:56,015 I didn't have sex with any of your ex-boyfriends. 469 00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:59,405 Holly, I can't believe we're best friends 470 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,648 and you never told me about this. 471 00:20:00,689 --> 00:20:01,858 I love standup comedy. 472 00:20:02,199 --> 00:20:04,067 Oh, well, then get ready to laugh your butt off 473 00:20:04,111 --> 00:20:05,812 because my impression of Babe the Pig 474 00:20:05,956 --> 00:20:08,291 oinking the alphabet is gonna make you pee your pants. 475 00:20:08,839 --> 00:20:11,708 Well, I'm sporting new drawers, so maybe I should leave. 476 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:14,525 No, no, no, you just wait a minute, ebony. 477 00:20:14,574 --> 00:20:17,072 As soon as those lights go out, you belong to ivory. 478 00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:21,371 Holly, leave the lights on. I'm afraid of the dark. 479 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,454 Oh, my damn! 480 00:20:23,695 --> 00:20:25,097 All right, you guys ready to pee? 481 00:20:28,525 --> 00:20:30,794 The other day, I got a pimple. 482 00:20:31,744 --> 00:20:35,648 I'm not even a teenager yet, and I got a pimple. 483 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,590 I mean, seriously, how adorable was I? 484 00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:44,479 I knew it. Totally peed the pants. 485 00:20:46,133 --> 00:20:47,667 Ha ha! 486 00:20:49,519 --> 00:20:51,889 I tell ya, that kid should have her own show. 487 00:20:54,198 --> 00:20:56,565 Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com 488 00:20:56,615 --> 00:21:01,165 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34139

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