Original subtitles

Oh, oh, you can't go in there.

Tina, are you kidding me?

It's no big deal. I love Ben.

I had one little dream about kissing Vince.

Who cares? Last night, I dreamt I was naked

on a train going into a tunnel.

What are you gonna tell me... that was a sex dream, too?

Happy almost grand opening!

Shh! We're having a taste test.

Okay, which one do you like better...

the devil's food or the coconut swirl?

I don't know.

I think we're gonna have to try another one, Mr. Gary.

No!

Choose!

Mmm! The chocolate chip one is a dream.

Will you shut up about dreams?

I love Ben.

What?

Oh, I'm just talking to Tina

about how much I'm loving on Ben.

Yeah. Who cares?

I got a food critic coming here in half an hour,

whose review could make or break this bakery.

And I've got no one helping me.

Lauren, get out here! LAUREN: I don't want to!

Lauren...

I look ridiculous.

That's 'cause you're not wearing the cherry.

Holly.

Will you please let your sister know that if we want

to draw in customers, we should be showing off these cupcakes.

It would be so easy...

Lauren, a tap-dancing cupcake

outside a bakery will bring people in.

You will look adorable

as soon as you learn how to do this.

Okay, I'm embarrassed to be standing next to you.

I know. I realize the irony.

Hey...

So do you guys want to come watch Ben sing tonight?

Actually, I kinda have...

With his new partner Amber?

Got to come!

I'm setting up a showcase for them tonight at Skids.

Since when does Ben have a singing partner?

Since the management firm thought that his sound

could use a nice pair of boobs.

Man, forget the cupcakes. I'd like a slice of Amber pie

with a big scoop of chocolate Gary on top.

So, Vince and I

will be meeting you tonight at the showcase,

you know, to support Ben.

Wow, she really is hot.

You know I wouldn't want my boyfriend standing

next to that thing acting all sexy.

But you're not well.

Me...I am so confident about my relationship with Ben

that I don't get jealous.

That, Tina, is true love.

Mnh-mnh. That, Holly, is true bull.

When you really are in love with someone,

you can't help but be jealous.

Okay, little Tina "One Date."

Someday, when you're in a relationship

where you actually know the fella's last name,

we'll talk.

Okay, little Miss Confidence.

Did you ever think that maybe you're not so sure about Ben,

and maybe that's why you keep having dreams about Vince?

Okay, you thought that Condoleeza Rice

was something you ordered at a Chinese restaurant.

And I'm supposed to listen to you?

Pretty.

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Okay, this is our chocolate coconut surprise cupcake.

Yes, this is my grandmother's recipe.

She used them to escape from the Nazis.

Unless you like Nazis, in which case,

she was a Nazi.

It's very tasty.

Is the surprise a little lemon zest?

[ gasps ] You got it.

So what you made you two ladies

get into the cupcake business?

Oh, well, um, I was in P.R.,

but my business fell apart after I called off my wedding,

at which point, I had a little breakdown.

Just put down that I've always liked cupcakes.

[ ding ]

Ooh, there's a batch of our mocha cupcakes.

My grandmother's recipe. She used them to escape

from the mean valets at the country club.

So...

When will this review be in your wonderful paper?

First thing tomorrow morning,

just in time for your grand opening.

Oh.

Oh...ha!

You know, you've got a little frosting on you.

Here, let me just get it.

Gee, I sure hope we get a good review...

Alan.

Well, that certainly could be possible.

Oh?

Anything I could do to make it really possible?

Yeah.

Get me a date with your boss.

Ha ha! I would love... not me?

- She's really hot. - Trust me, she would never in a million yea...

It would definitely inspire me to write a good review.

- 8:00 tonight good for you? - Mm-hmm. - Okay.

Ooh! Hot rack coming through!

* The fire *

* You ignite it *

BOTH: * Good, bad, and undecided *

* Burn when I stand beside it *

* Your light is ultraviolet *

* Visions so insane *

* They travel around and through my brain *

* I'm cold when I am denied it *

* Your light is ultraviolet *

* Ultraviolet *

Can you feel it, bro?

It's like Amber and I are the only two people

in the room.

She ? she is so into me.

It's embarrassing.

Come on.

Hey! Oh, my God, I didn't think you were gonna make it

with the opening tomorrow.

Don't you have to be up at 5:00 to start baking?

Well, what are we... Keebler elves?

We deserve a night out. We're celebrating, you know?

A couple of crazy bakers out on the town.

Yeah, go nuts. Let your hair nets down.

Okay.

She's right. This is ridiculous.

We have so much work to do.

Will you just sit down and relax

and slap on a little lipstick? - Why?

Oh, because it's almost 8:00.

And I like it when you look pretty.

Oh, my God.

Well, look who's here.

It is Alan Lloyd, the food critic.

What are you doing?

Alan, hi, oh, my God!

Won't you come join us?

Hey.

Hello, Val. Nice to see you again.

Wow, look at the time. I have to be up at 5:00. See ya!

Lauren, Lauren!

Ha ha.

I'm gonna have to do random drug testing at work.

Can I get you a drink?

Oh, no. Um...

Actually, I have to get up early tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, me too...

writing your review.

Mmm, you smell really good.

What is that?

Um...

A little vanilla and cinnamon...

and a little bit of sweat.

I've been baking all day.

Yeah.

You're a little baking girl, aren't you?

Are you a naughty little baking girl?

Excuse me?

Just having a little fun.

Seriously, let's get outta here.

I live a few blocks away...

Okay, Mr. Lloyd, I think you have the wrong idea.

Well, wait a minute. Don't you want the good review?

I mean, this was the deal, right?

"Deal"?

Did you not talk to your assistant?

Oh, my God, this was a setup.

So she did talk to you.

Eww!

So you're saying if I...

make a little time with you,

you're gonna give me a good review?

I would never say that.

Legal reasons.

Oh, my God, would you listen to this crowd?

They love them.

BOTH: * I nearly froze outside it *

* Your light is ultraviolet *

* Ultraviolet *

Ben. You guys were awesome!

You sounded great.

And the way you were dancing with her...sexy.

Not too sexy, I hope.

I know how you get a little jealous sometimes.

What am I, a little insecure girl?

The minute I see the guy I love dancing with a pretty girl,

I'm like, "Oh, my God, he's mine! He's totally mine!

You can't have him! He's totally taken!"

I think I'm a little past that.

You're so sexy when you're mature.

Really? I'm thinking of watching the news.

Ooh, Holly, stop it.

Okay, so now you need to go out there and mingle.

But only talk to the important music people...

you know, the guys with dates that look like their daughters? - Yes, got it.

You see, Tina, I am so not jealous of Ben and Amber.

Because when you love someone, you know it in your heart

that he's truly yours.

Hey, Holly.

Your friend Vince is so hot. Is he...

Totally mine.

I mean, totally mine friend.

Mine friend who has a girlfriend.

Mm, sorry.

She's not his type.

Shut up!

[ guitar jangling ]

BOTH: * My fire *

* You ignite it *

* Good, bad, and undecided *

* Burn when I stand beside it *

* Your light is ultraviolet *

Well, I don't mean to sound like a diva,

but I think we sound amazing.

Oh, my gosh, we rock. Cheese doodle?

Oh, no thanks. The doodle dust makes my guitar orange.

Oh, you sound great.

Way better than that whiny crap you usually play.

Thanks, mate, that's what I was going for.

Aww...

Uh, we never got to meet last night.

I'm Amber.

Vince. Oh, sorry about that.

Mmm.

That's okay.

So, what's it like living with him?

I imagine it's a lot like living with the queen.

It sucks he has a girlfriend.

Who...Vince? No, Vince doesn't have a girlfriend.

- Holly said he did. - What?

Yeah, last night at the club, I asked about him,

and she said he was totally taken.

Oh, she must've misunderstood.

He's quite available.

I'm sure if he knew that you were interest...

More doodles, Vince?

Later, dudes.

- Holly. - Hey, Vince.

Everywhere I go, there's Vince.

Vince, Vince, Vince, Vince.

Well, I'm here to see my boyfriend.

See you later.

You know, there was a time when I lived here by myself.

I miss those days.

Hey. How's it going?

Great.

Hey, Holly, what's the deal? You said Vince has a girlfriend,

and Ben says he doesn't.

No. What?

I said that?

Yeah, last night at the club, I asked you about him,

and you said he was totally taken.

Oh, no, see, last night, when she asked,

I had thought you were asking if he was totally Jewish.

No? Oh, okay, well, he's not. So go for it!

Yeah, I hope the two of you work out! Mazel tov!

You know, I think Vince and Amber

would make a really great couple.

You should set that up.

Good. Good idea. In fact, we could double.

Me and Vince and you and Amber.

I mean, me and Amber and you and Vince.

We all know who goes together. Mazel tov!

Yeah, you're right, Val.

At least we still have our dignity.

I still think I made the right decision.

Oh, yeah? Well, let's see how much dignity

we've got in the cash register.

We've been open four hours, and we have sold three cupcakes.

To each other!

And we should be proud. They're delicious.

Well, not according to our sexually frustrated reviewer.

"The cupcakes at Sugar Babies Bakery

"are tasteless and dried up...

much like the owners."

God. Couldn't you have just let Alan Lloyd

cop one little feel?

I am sorry.

That is not how Val Tyler does business.

I have done everything... I posted flyers,

I took out ads, I sent cupcake baskets

to every business on this street.

We do not have to resort to using our bodies

to get ahead.

Wake up, Bambi!

This is how things work in the forest!

Not in my forest.

And don't make that dirty.

Lauren, take a look around this place.

Do you remember why we picked a '60s theme?

It was the time of the women's movement.

Female empowerment.

Great. Okay.

We'll sell tasteless and dried-up

women's movement cupcakes.

Why don't we just open up a lesbian bookstore?

Well, I don't care if this place goes down in flames.

I will never resort to this.

Hey, fellas, take a look at these "C" cupcakes!

Want a bite outta this?

Look at them.

You disgust me!

If this is what I have to do to succeed in this business,

then I don't want any part of it.

So... You and Amber, huh?

I'm sensing sparks.

She's okay.

I am so lame.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Vince, she's lame. Why don't you go help her?

God. They make such a cute couple.

Well, not as cute as us, of course.

'Cause we are in l-o-v-e.

And I think you are i-n-c-r-e-d-i-b-l-e.

"Incredible."

Oh. Thanks.

Aw, I love having a smart boyfriend.

Ha ha ha.

I told you, I am terrible.

But you know what? It doesn't matter,

because you happen to be standing next

to one of the greatest teachers.

Vince can teach you anything.

Yeah, if you don't mind broken toes.

What?

Oh, it's another one of their private little jokes.

I choose to find them... charming.

Come on, tell me. Tell me.

Yes, please, do tell us. I'm just gonna

stay seated over here as you do tend to go on.

Okay. We're in Paris at this cool outdoor concert.

People were dancing in the gardens.

But, remember, this is France,

so we've already had half a bottle of wine.

Totally legal. Oh, wait, my sister's not here.

Anyway, Holly's like,

"It's Paris. It's romantic. Let's dance."

But the only problem is, they're playing a waltz.

And the only dance this woman can do is...

Well, Vince happens to have this deep dark secret.

Now, that has nothing to do with the story.

Yes, it does. It's important.

His mother used to run Tippy Tap Dance Studio.

So he used to take turns dancing with all the little girls

in the ballroom dance classes.

So I teach her a few moves.

She takes a couple little steps,

and Holly steps on what, grass or cheese

or whatever the hell's on the ground in Paris.

And we go crashing into these flower beds.

And when I pull her out, her dress is torn,

her foot's already turning black and blue,

but all I can see...

is that she's got these... rose petals in her hair.

And the whole next day,

whenever she'd shake her hair,

I'd smell those roses.

So you got drunk, fell in a bush,

and then didn't shower for a day. That's so...

adorable.

Oh, my God. Customers.

How did this happen? What did you do?

Well, what did you do? All of those ads and flyers

and cupcake baskets must've paid off!

They love them!

They're here for our cupcakes?

Mm-hmm. What can I say? You were right, Val.

See, Lauren.

People are basically good.

Mm-hmm. And we didn't have to use sex or sleaze

or objectify the female body.

You teach me every day.

Okay, hot buns, here's some more samples.

And, uh, let's keep that moneymaker shaking.

We're getting a little slow in there.

This is amazing.

Oh, thank you.

Have you ever had a job

where you didn't take off your shirt?

No.

Hey, listen, why don't you grab us a table?

I'm gonna get some cupcakes, preferably ones

that didn't make contact with Gary's naked body.

- Hey. - Hey.

Where's Amber?

Oh, we called it a night.

Aw...so, what'd you think of her?

She's okay.

Maybe we should all, um, hang out again some time.

I don't think so.

You didn't have a good time?

I'm just not that interested.

Why not?

Think about it, Holly.

- Hey, why'd Vince leave? - I don't know.

What happened with Amber?

I just don't think he really liked her.

That's funny. I thought she would've been just his type.

Yeah, I'm so glad that we don't have to go

through that anymore... blind dates and setups.

I'm really grateful that we have each other.

Yeah, me too.

- I love you, Holly. - I love you, too, Vince.

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