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1
00:00:00,950 --> 00:00:07,950
Sync by n17t01 - corrected by chamallow
www.Addic7ed.Com
2
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Hi.
3
00:01:24,492 --> 00:01:25,626
Hi.
4
00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:27,795
Hey, so, I found this in the garbage.
5
00:01:27,829 --> 00:01:29,663
You know, I did consider keeping it...
6
00:01:29,697 --> 00:01:31,498
you know, just so I
could always be reminded
7
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of how my actions affect others.
8
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Overrated.
9
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,336
I know.
10
00:01:36,371 --> 00:01:37,738
So, you cool if I use it, or... ?
11
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Okay, yeah.
12
00:01:39,007 --> 00:01:40,441
But, um...
13
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,376
Why do you have all that masking tape?
14
00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:44,812
I don't know. I just...
15
00:01:46,581 --> 00:01:49,383
Oh, hey, your dad told
me about your decision.
16
00:01:49,417 --> 00:01:51,351
You know, about... being gay.
17
00:01:51,386 --> 00:01:53,420
So, I just want to let you know,
18
00:01:53,455 --> 00:01:54,888
if you need somebody to talk to...
19
00:01:54,923 --> 00:01:56,557
Goodbye, mom.
20
00:02:06,301 --> 00:02:07,401
Oh, God.
21
00:02:07,435 --> 00:02:09,470
This house is like a hive of humans
22
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,839
staring at their own personal screens.
23
00:02:11,873 --> 00:02:12,906
What up?
24
00:02:12,941 --> 00:02:16,276
You'd rather we all went bowling
or ice skating or something?
25
00:02:16,311 --> 00:02:17,478
How about ice bowling?
26
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,781
I was thinking maybe you might
want to come down to Lynda's.
27
00:02:20,815 --> 00:02:23,717
That art walk "First Fridays"
thing is coming up, and...
28
00:02:23,751 --> 00:02:25,719
yeah, been to a few of those myself.
29
00:02:25,753 --> 00:02:27,888
Keep an eye out for the
dude on the stilts.
30
00:02:27,922 --> 00:02:29,289
He's really tall.
31
00:02:29,324 --> 00:02:31,125
You sure you don't want to come?
32
00:02:31,159 --> 00:02:33,127
Let's see... you took every single thing
33
00:02:33,161 --> 00:02:36,230
from my favorite place in
the world and made it yours.
34
00:02:36,264 --> 00:02:38,265
So... no, I think I'll pass.
35
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,502
Well, I thought we could both...
36
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,537
"both," like "you and me"? Yeah, sure.
37
00:02:43,571 --> 00:02:45,906
And while we're at it,
let's call grandma Bev
38
00:02:45,940 --> 00:02:47,841
and see if she would like to lollygag
39
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,610
around Lynda's place in a
nice sensible beige pant.
40
00:02:49,644 --> 00:02:52,112
Hey... I am nothing
like grandma Bev.
41
00:02:52,147 --> 00:02:55,182
And I am nothing like remotely
available to have this chat with you.
42
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,517
If you'll excuse.
43
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,518
Fine.
44
00:03:16,204 --> 00:03:17,171
Hey.
45
00:03:17,205 --> 00:03:18,272
Hi.
46
00:03:18,306 --> 00:03:20,374
Is this Princess Valhalla Hawkwind?
47
00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:22,142
Yes, it is.
48
00:03:22,177 --> 00:03:24,711
Now, let's do dis.
49
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:28,048
Oh, my God! I just saw Tara!
50
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,550
She's so smiley!
51
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,885
Is one of her alters fucking a clown?
52
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,821
Haven't seen much of any alters lately.
53
00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:36,023
It's all Tara.
54
00:03:36,057 --> 00:03:37,824
She's been spending time downtown
55
00:03:37,859 --> 00:03:40,227
at that lady's loft last couple of weeks.
56
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:42,129
- Kate's friend?
- Yeah.
57
00:03:42,163 --> 00:03:45,065
Probably prancing around down there,
finger-painting,
58
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,800
dancing to the indigo girls.
59
00:03:47,835 --> 00:03:49,336
Yeah, you're pissed.
60
00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,738
No, I'm not. I'm happy for her.
61
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,941
It's exactly what she needs.
62
00:03:53,975 --> 00:03:57,244
So... I finally had my "aha" moment.
63
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:58,879
Meaning... ?
64
00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:04,318
Well, I had the realization that
I'm kind of glad you outed me.
65
00:04:04,352 --> 00:04:08,422
I mean, you're only as sick as your
secrets, and I'm sick of being sick.
66
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,090
New therapist?
67
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,758
No, new issue... O Magazine.
68
00:04:13,194 --> 00:04:16,096
What? They've got poems,
Max... monthly poems.
69
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,664
I'll have to check that out.
70
00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:19,733
Okay, here's my plan.
71
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:23,203
You know how those famous
ladies adopt orphan babies
72
00:04:23,238 --> 00:04:25,505
from, like, Malawi or whatever?
73
00:04:26,874 --> 00:04:28,108
Yeah. So?
74
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:32,879
What if... Nick could think of
himself as an adoptive father?
75
00:04:32,914 --> 00:04:35,449
Like, what if he had met me
76
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:38,218
when I was smack dab in the
middle of adopting a baby?
77
00:04:38,253 --> 00:04:39,419
From Africa.
78
00:04:39,454 --> 00:04:42,889
Well, you had sex with another man
79
00:04:42,924 --> 00:04:44,925
while you were engaged to him,
char.
80
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,965
Guys usually have a pretty fucking
hard time getting over that stuff.
81
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,135
I know, but...
82
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,236
Why?
83
00:04:57,739 --> 00:04:59,239
Hmm.
84
00:04:59,274 --> 00:05:01,675
So, on the scale of gayness,
85
00:05:01,709 --> 00:05:04,411
I'm thinking Alex would be a 10.
86
00:05:04,445 --> 00:05:10,150
So, you mean, like, 10 being the most
queeny, flouncy, flamy, homo in the land
87
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:13,787
and 1 being, like, Craig T. Nelson?
88
00:05:13,821 --> 00:05:15,188
Yeah.
89
00:05:15,223 --> 00:05:17,958
Or, like, 1 being, like, Jason Maurio?
90
00:05:17,992 --> 00:05:19,760
Jason Maurio is, like...
91
00:05:19,794 --> 00:05:22,162
he's, like, a 3.
92
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:24,464
What did you guys do together, anyway?
93
00:05:24,499 --> 00:05:26,433
It?
94
00:05:26,467 --> 00:05:28,468
Just... kissed.
95
00:05:28,503 --> 00:05:31,305
And, uh... a little dry humping.
96
00:05:32,674 --> 00:05:34,641
Must have been tough to stay dry.
97
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,245
I'm only attracted to total manlys.
98
00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,080
You know, like 1s and 2s.
99
00:05:43,351 --> 00:05:45,152
What do you think I am?
100
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,321
I don't know.
101
00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:52,459
Like, a 5?
102
00:05:52,493 --> 00:05:55,262
I am not a 5, okay?
103
00:05:55,296 --> 00:05:57,864
I don't talk gay, I don't walk gay.
104
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:01,768
I mean, people don't even
know I'm gay unless I'm...
105
00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:02,936
blowing them?
106
00:06:04,505 --> 00:06:08,275
Aw, Marshall's coming out
of his little turtle shell.
107
00:06:08,309 --> 00:06:10,110
I am not a turtle.
108
00:06:10,144 --> 00:06:12,045
Turtle.
109
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,920
Oh, my God!
110
00:06:19,954 --> 00:06:21,722
This place looks so different!
111
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,123
I haven't been here in ages.
112
00:06:23,157 --> 00:06:24,124
I know.
113
00:06:24,158 --> 00:06:26,326
You been busy!
114
00:06:26,361 --> 00:06:28,495
So have you.
115
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,567
Mmm. Mmm.
116
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,068
You taste good.
117
00:06:36,204 --> 00:06:39,840
You think we could... make a time?
118
00:06:39,874 --> 00:06:40,841
Hmm?
119
00:06:40,842 --> 00:06:42,275
Yeah, definitely.
120
00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:45,045
You mean... a time to see each other,
121
00:06:45,079 --> 00:06:47,013
or a time to get together and figure out
122
00:06:47,048 --> 00:06:48,949
when we can make a time
to see each other?
123
00:06:51,152 --> 00:06:52,853
Okay.
124
00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:57,324
I'm sorry.
125
00:06:57,358 --> 00:06:59,893
I got to go.
126
00:06:59,927 --> 00:07:02,562
Okay, scoot along.
127
00:07:21,749 --> 00:07:23,083
Hi.
128
00:07:23,117 --> 00:07:25,051
Welcome back.
129
00:07:35,463 --> 00:07:37,998
Kate is just so pissy.
130
00:07:38,032 --> 00:07:40,066
I mean, I don't know if
it's a mother/daughter thing
131
00:07:40,101 --> 00:07:42,569
or a woman thing or...
132
00:07:42,603 --> 00:07:44,638
it's probably just me.
133
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:48,875
Someone once told me you need to
make art as if your parents are dead.
134
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:51,611
Yeah, but not your kids.
135
00:07:51,646 --> 00:07:53,880
Oh, I don't know. I don't speak to mine.
136
00:07:53,915 --> 00:07:55,782
You've got kids?
137
00:07:55,817 --> 00:07:56,950
Three.
138
00:07:56,984 --> 00:07:58,919
Well, two of my own, plus a stepdaughter.
139
00:07:58,953 --> 00:08:01,021
My stepdaughter's a little manipulator.
140
00:08:01,055 --> 00:08:02,189
Fucking bitch.
141
00:08:02,223 --> 00:08:03,824
My own daughter...
142
00:08:05,092 --> 00:08:06,827
she stopped speaking to me.
143
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,262
That was her choice. She'll come around.
144
00:08:09,297 --> 00:08:12,065
Son... he does whatever his sister does.
145
00:08:12,099 --> 00:08:14,801
Oh, man. That must be so hard.
146
00:08:14,836 --> 00:08:16,636
Mnh-mnh. They're all grown.
147
00:08:16,671 --> 00:08:20,040
I guess it's kind of fun to think about.
148
00:08:20,074 --> 00:08:23,910
Life without your kids.
Life just for yourself.
149
00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:27,214
Then you realize that was the only
thing holding the marriage together.
150
00:08:27,248 --> 00:08:28,849
You know, when my kids were grown,
151
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,450
my husband and I took
one look at each other
152
00:08:30,485 --> 00:08:32,819
and went, "okay, no more audience.
153
00:08:32,854 --> 00:08:34,921
It's time to close the show."
154
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,991
So, you're divorced?
155
00:08:38,025 --> 00:08:40,093
You think I'd have time for
all this if I had some man
156
00:08:40,127 --> 00:08:41,962
running around saying,
"what the fuck is this?
157
00:08:41,996 --> 00:08:43,530
What the fuck is that? Scratch my back.
158
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,131
Make me some chunky soup!"
159
00:08:53,274 --> 00:08:56,409
And then Danielle shows up,
even though she wasn't invited,
160
00:08:56,444 --> 00:08:59,412
and then Teresa and Caroline
go, "let's beat her ass,"
161
00:08:59,447 --> 00:09:01,181
Uh, I'm sorry, but...
162
00:09:01,215 --> 00:09:02,983
I don't actually watch "The
Real Housewives of New Jersey."
163
00:09:03,017 --> 00:09:04,417
Oh.
164
00:09:04,452 --> 00:09:07,687
I... I thought you said I could
talk about whatever I wanted.
165
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:09,222
I did.
166
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,191
But now I want to do something else.
167
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,594
Okay.
168
00:09:14,629 --> 00:09:15,962
What?
169
00:09:17,732 --> 00:09:19,533
Do you have any cake?
170
00:09:19,567 --> 00:09:21,134
Cake?
171
00:09:21,168 --> 00:09:22,536
Why?
172
00:09:22,570 --> 00:09:23,537
Um...
173
00:09:23,571 --> 00:09:26,540
I was hoping you could, um...
174
00:09:26,574 --> 00:09:27,774
sit on it.
175
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,482
The baby isn't mine?
176
00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:37,450
It's... it's Neil's?
177
00:09:37,485 --> 00:09:40,620
Biologically.
178
00:09:40,655 --> 00:09:43,356
But the baby's yours spiritually.
179
00:09:43,391 --> 00:09:45,559
Look, Nick, everything
happens for a reason.
180
00:09:45,593 --> 00:09:46,927
Okay, you know that.
181
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,662
We talked about that on our first date...
182
00:09:48,696 --> 00:09:50,864
on our very first date.
183
00:09:50,898 --> 00:09:54,334
God, doesn't this place remind
you of a European gum commercial?
184
00:09:54,368 --> 00:09:56,536
Charmaine, focus.
185
00:09:57,705 --> 00:09:59,205
Do you...
186
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,910
do you realize what you're saying?
187
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:07,314
Remind me.
188
00:10:07,348 --> 00:10:09,549
You lied to me.
189
00:10:09,584 --> 00:10:11,318
You told me...
190
00:10:11,352 --> 00:10:13,453
you told me you were keeping yourself pure
191
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,956
at your sister's house so
that on our wedding night,
192
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,091
I... it'd feel like our first time again.
193
00:10:18,125 --> 00:10:19,492
I know. I know.
194
00:10:19,527 --> 00:10:21,394
Look, it was just this
one awful night, okay?
195
00:10:21,429 --> 00:10:24,397
When I watched this documentary
about chronic fatigue syndrome,
196
00:10:24,432 --> 00:10:27,634
and then I became convinced that I
had chronic fatigue syndrome,
197
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:30,503
and I was in this state,
and Neil came over, and he...
198
00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:31,705
did he force himself on you?
199
00:10:33,207 --> 00:10:34,407
Sort of.
200
00:10:34,442 --> 00:10:35,909
I mean, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
201
00:10:35,943 --> 00:10:37,110
Of course not.
202
00:10:37,144 --> 00:10:38,745
Well, yeah, kind of... emotionally.
203
00:10:38,779 --> 00:10:40,513
He made me feel sorry for him.
204
00:10:40,548 --> 00:10:42,616
I mean, I've got this
natural caretaker thing
205
00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:45,318
that sometimes bites me in the ass.
206
00:10:46,887 --> 00:10:48,021
I can't believe this.
207
00:10:48,055 --> 00:10:49,522
I mean, I'm...
208
00:10:49,557 --> 00:10:51,391
I'm really blindsided here.
209
00:10:51,425 --> 00:10:53,727
I know. I know. I am, too.
210
00:10:58,065 --> 00:11:01,401
Look, I know there's something
wrong with me, okay?
211
00:11:01,435 --> 00:11:03,536
I need help.
212
00:11:03,571 --> 00:11:06,139
I need someone who... loves me.
213
00:11:08,409 --> 00:11:10,910
Look, I never believed my
prince charming was out there.
214
00:11:10,945 --> 00:11:12,545
So even after you came along,
215
00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:15,081
I still believed that you were pretend.
216
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,918
All right, look. I fucked up, okay?
217
00:11:18,953 --> 00:11:21,821
I so fucked up.
218
00:11:21,856 --> 00:11:24,357
But please...
219
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:27,360
please don't put me out into the streets.
220
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:33,700
Help me... believe in love.
221
00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:40,940
So, I was checking out your wishlist.
222
00:11:40,975 --> 00:11:43,743
I see you want a kindle, a coach purse.
223
00:11:43,778 --> 00:11:45,211
Or the magic bullet.
224
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,447
I'm fucking wild about that magic bullet.
225
00:11:47,481 --> 00:11:49,215
All right.
226
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,818
So... tell me, kind sir...
227
00:11:51,852 --> 00:11:53,787
what do I do now?
228
00:11:53,821 --> 00:11:56,423
I just... sit on this thing?
229
00:11:56,457 --> 00:11:59,959
Yeah, but... first you
need to turn away from me.
230
00:11:59,994 --> 00:12:01,628
So I can see your ass.
231
00:12:05,232 --> 00:12:07,000
But I want to see your face, too.
232
00:12:07,034 --> 00:12:09,235
Wait. Before I do this, help a lady out.
233
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,971
Do I hate this, or do I like this?
234
00:12:12,006 --> 00:12:13,473
You're surprised.
235
00:12:13,507 --> 00:12:16,109
You don't know you're
about to sit on the cake.
236
00:12:18,412 --> 00:12:19,846
Okay.
237
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,125
There's got to be a better way.
238
00:12:32,159 --> 00:12:33,827
All this dicing and chopping is endless.
239
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:35,562
Hey, only three of us tonight, buddy,
240
00:12:35,596 --> 00:12:36,629
'cause Charmaine's out with Nick.
241
00:12:36,664 --> 00:12:37,630
Nick?
242
00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:39,966
Wow. Okay.
243
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,668
And mom's working, so...
244
00:12:41,702 --> 00:12:43,803
You want to call Lionel,
invite him over for dinner?
245
00:12:43,838 --> 00:12:45,472
No.
246
00:12:45,506 --> 00:12:48,074
You want to invite him
to your mom's thing?
247
00:12:48,109 --> 00:12:51,277
God! Stop with your pimping action.
248
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,146
Let a young man live his life.
249
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:56,816
Hey, dad, is there any way we
could make our showers hotter?
250
00:12:56,851 --> 00:12:58,785
I want it really, like... scaldy.
251
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,520
Sure.
252
00:13:00,554 --> 00:13:02,555
Whatcha doing up there all day?
253
00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:03,790
Looking for a new job?
254
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,959
Sort of.
255
00:13:08,195 --> 00:13:10,797
So, guys, we're all gonna go
to mom's thing tomorrow, right?
256
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:13,399
If by "all of us," you
mean "everyone except me,"
257
00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:15,735
then yes, sir, you are correct.
258
00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:17,137
You should go.
259
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,774
She's never actually had an art show
before, as far as I can remember.
260
00:13:20,808 --> 00:13:23,843
Except for a little art show we've all
been forced to witness called her life.
261
00:13:23,878 --> 00:13:27,881
"No stars!" Says Kate Gregson of the
Overland Park parent review.
262
00:13:27,915 --> 00:13:29,749
Hey, marsh, if it's cool with you,
263
00:13:29,784 --> 00:13:31,451
I'm gonna get mine to go, okay?
264
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,220
Okay.
265
00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:41,995
That your house?
266
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,196
Nope.
267
00:13:44,732 --> 00:13:46,966
House you grew up in?
268
00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:48,334
Unh-unh.
269
00:13:52,573 --> 00:13:55,175
Who told you to put all
the little stones on it?
270
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,879
How do you know someone told me?
271
00:13:59,914 --> 00:14:03,149
You got a whole system
in there I know about.
272
00:14:05,186 --> 00:14:07,954
You make art with all your selves.
273
00:14:10,591 --> 00:14:12,692
Hmm.
274
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:18,331
I, uh, I didn't realize you were so...
curious about D.I.D.
275
00:14:18,365 --> 00:14:20,567
When I dropped out of the scene,
276
00:14:20,601 --> 00:14:22,802
they were still calling
you guys "multiples."
277
00:14:22,837 --> 00:14:24,170
But...
278
00:14:24,205 --> 00:14:26,639
when I was locked up,
I had a roommate like you.
279
00:14:26,674 --> 00:14:28,174
She told me all about it.
280
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:33,146
I don't judge.
281
00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:34,647
Let me see...
282
00:14:34,682 --> 00:14:36,549
I have been called borderline,
bipolar, depressive,
283
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,351
garden-variety hysterical woman,
284
00:14:38,385 --> 00:14:40,453
post-partum, pre-partum, partum-partum,
285
00:14:40,487 --> 00:14:44,023
fucked-up, Angela Davis,
angry-black-woman syndrome.
286
00:14:44,058 --> 00:14:46,059
I heard it all, baby.
287
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:49,095
I gave up on that "white floor,
bright lights" scene.
288
00:14:49,129 --> 00:14:51,030
I feel much better here.
289
00:14:55,236 --> 00:14:58,004
Must be our Peking duck.
290
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,411
Surprise delivery.
291
00:15:09,483 --> 00:15:12,852
I... can't believe you did this.
292
00:15:12,887 --> 00:15:14,687
Yeah, I wanted to surprise you.
293
00:15:14,722 --> 00:15:16,456
Got the plates and everything.
294
00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:18,858
Were you... were you gonna stay?
295
00:15:20,361 --> 00:15:22,462
I thought you'd be a
little excited to see me.
296
00:15:22,496 --> 00:15:24,330
Take a break? You know, catch up?
297
00:15:24,365 --> 00:15:26,065
It's just, you know, we're still working,
298
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:27,433
and I didn't want to get all...
299
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,669
Distracted?
300
00:15:29,703 --> 00:15:32,272
I need $26.50.
301
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,706
I would pay,
302
00:15:33,741 --> 00:15:35,842
but you used up two tubes
of my white Liquitex.
303
00:15:35,876 --> 00:15:37,877
I got my credit card here.
304
00:15:37,912 --> 00:15:39,279
They don't take plastic.
305
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,080
I got it. I got it.
306
00:15:43,884 --> 00:15:44,884
Here.
307
00:15:49,924 --> 00:15:53,293
Think I was gonna memorize the numbers,
like some "Rain Man" shit?
308
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,627
Don't fuck with me.
309
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,396
You're only in our family's lives
310
00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:58,564
'cause my daughter caught you
committing identity theft.
311
00:15:58,599 --> 00:16:00,733
It's not theft if you
created the identity.
312
00:16:03,904 --> 00:16:05,872
Man, that smells good.
313
00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,041
You ladies got a little
buffet to choose from...
314
00:16:08,075 --> 00:16:11,110
Chinese or Overland Park gay gourmet.
315
00:16:11,145 --> 00:16:12,712
It's all good.
316
00:16:14,281 --> 00:16:16,950
Are you sure you don't want to...
317
00:16:16,984 --> 00:16:18,751
No, no. Enjoy your dinner.
318
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,492
God, I feel terrible.
319
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:27,560
Don't.
320
00:16:27,594 --> 00:16:29,362
Doesn't do anybody any favors.
321
00:16:31,298 --> 00:16:33,499
Let's have some duck.
322
00:16:38,906 --> 00:16:40,540
What are you gonna do
with all these balloons?
323
00:16:40,574 --> 00:16:43,776
Well, have you been enjoying that magic
bullet that arrived this morning?
324
00:16:43,811 --> 00:16:45,111
Yes.
325
00:16:45,145 --> 00:16:48,114
It's such an affordable
alternative to a Cuisinart.
326
00:16:48,148 --> 00:16:51,985
Well, a guy put it in my online
wishlist after I sat on a cake.
327
00:16:52,019 --> 00:16:53,820
After I met him at a comic-book store.
328
00:16:53,854 --> 00:16:56,522
There's hundreds more guys just like him.
329
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,791
I do shit, and they buy me stuff.
330
00:16:58,826 --> 00:17:00,460
Huh.
331
00:17:03,597 --> 00:17:06,432
Hey, in terms of, like, how people see me,
332
00:17:06,467 --> 00:17:09,335
how gay do I act, on a scale of 1 to 10?
333
00:17:09,370 --> 00:17:10,970
10.
334
00:17:11,005 --> 00:17:12,572
10's the gayest.
335
00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:13,573
Oh.
336
00:17:13,607 --> 00:17:14,974
11.
337
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:19,012
Ooh. Me thinks it's nigh on close to 4:00.
338
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,888
Hey. Princess.
339
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,523
I've been waiting for you.
340
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:33,659
Hey!
341
00:17:33,694 --> 00:17:35,828
Get rid of your friend.
342
00:17:35,863 --> 00:17:37,630
Oh. Marshall, go. Get out of here.
343
00:17:37,664 --> 00:17:39,565
Are you going to mom's art show, even?
344
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,566
No!
345
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,035
Uh...
346
00:17:42,069 --> 00:17:48,374
Okay, it's time for some balloonacy!
347
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,981
Hi.
348
00:17:55,015 --> 00:17:56,182
Cool?
349
00:17:56,216 --> 00:17:57,216
Thank you.
350
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,293
That's a maze?
351
00:18:07,327 --> 00:18:08,294
Mm-hmm.
352
00:18:08,328 --> 00:18:10,229
One sec.
353
00:18:10,264 --> 00:18:12,432
This is the most important part.
354
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,800
Damn.
355
00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:17,403
You've spent more time painting that
bicentennial flag than the whole house.
356
00:18:17,438 --> 00:18:20,139
There. Now it's perfect.
357
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,111
Hey! Why didn't you
guys wait for me?
358
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,946
I was making sure that was a legal spot.
359
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,981
You know, now I'm not so
sure if it was.
360
00:18:29,016 --> 00:18:32,118
You guys go on ahead. I'm gonna go back.
361
00:18:34,521 --> 00:18:35,488
Mom?
362
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:36,889
Hey.
363
00:18:36,924 --> 00:18:38,524
Thanks for coming.
364
00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:42,095
So... this is it? My liar box is in there?
365
00:18:42,129 --> 00:18:43,262
Yeah, it's in there.
366
00:18:44,398 --> 00:18:46,065
I like it.
367
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,601
From now on, I'll send all my
love-themed garbage your way.
368
00:18:48,635 --> 00:18:50,436
Marshall!
369
00:18:59,279 --> 00:19:00,613
Huh.
370
00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:05,184
All right.
371
00:19:09,089 --> 00:19:10,857
She's here with him.
372
00:19:10,891 --> 00:19:12,625
What do you care?
373
00:19:12,659 --> 00:19:14,627
Come on. Get something to eat.
374
00:19:49,196 --> 00:19:50,997
You want a bump?
375
00:19:52,132 --> 00:19:53,099
Coke?
376
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:54,700
Oh, my God, Lionel!
377
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,068
A-bombs!
378
00:19:56,103 --> 00:20:00,940
Some people know it as a prescription
medication for attention deficit.
379
00:20:02,442 --> 00:20:05,344
I've never had that.
380
00:20:05,379 --> 00:20:07,947
Okay, sure.
381
00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:10,149
Hey, guys, maybe we
shouldn't do this in here.
382
00:20:10,184 --> 00:20:12,251
Art, bathrooms, drugs.
383
00:20:12,286 --> 00:20:15,655
It's almost like being in New York.
384
00:20:15,689 --> 00:20:17,356
You know, I met Ted in New York.
385
00:20:17,391 --> 00:20:20,426
He was my professor at the new school,
teaching Gregorian chant.
386
00:20:22,629 --> 00:20:25,331
Back when that monk
album was all the rage.
387
00:20:25,365 --> 00:20:26,766
It was very hot.
388
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,135
Got to say, I'm a big fan of Ted's blouse.
389
00:20:29,169 --> 00:20:33,339
Tommy Bahama is like Ed Hardy
for 65-year-old fat men.
390
00:20:35,642 --> 00:20:37,910
Have you guys seen an Egyptian guy?
391
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,412
He's about 30 years old.
392
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,713
H... h... he's really good-looking...
393
00:20:40,747 --> 00:20:42,815
Marshy?
394
00:20:42,849 --> 00:20:44,417
Toot toot?
395
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,257
Come to the dark side, my little turtle.
396
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,644
Neil.
397
00:21:11,678 --> 00:21:13,980
Hey.
398
00:21:14,014 --> 00:21:16,082
Hello.
399
00:21:17,251 --> 00:21:19,485
Hello.
400
00:21:19,519 --> 00:21:21,120
Um... This...
401
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:24,457
I... I think you're supposed to open this.
402
00:21:40,474 --> 00:21:41,841
- Huh.
- Huh.
403
00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:43,976
- Huh.
- Huh.
404
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:47,747
Well, that's a waste of a hell
of a lot of good cheese nips.
405
00:21:47,781 --> 00:21:50,216
Hey, is it just me,
or is anyone else blown away
406
00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:55,221
by the level of detail on this wee,
little bicentennial flag?
407
00:21:56,590 --> 00:21:59,992
Okay, ready yourself for a pop.
408
00:22:04,464 --> 00:22:06,098
You know what, friend?
409
00:22:06,133 --> 00:22:09,969
I don't know if I feel like
popping any more balloons.
410
00:22:10,003 --> 00:22:14,507
I don't really think it's worth
a new blender or an "it" bag.
411
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,810
W... well, w... w... we can, um...
412
00:22:17,844 --> 00:22:19,879
put n... new things on your wishlist.
413
00:22:19,913 --> 00:22:22,481
Just... tell me what you want.
414
00:22:22,516 --> 00:22:23,816
Anything.
415
00:22:24,818 --> 00:22:26,485
Anything?
416
00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:32,525
A Vespa.
417
00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:35,361
A pink Vespa.
418
00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:37,330
I'm sorry, man,
419
00:22:37,364 --> 00:22:41,100
but there is some crap in the
art world that I just don't get.
420
00:22:43,236 --> 00:22:46,272
Look at this shit.
421
00:22:46,306 --> 00:22:47,273
Hi.
422
00:22:47,307 --> 00:22:49,241
Hey.
423
00:22:49,276 --> 00:22:51,477
I'm over here talking to Eli Adler,
424
00:22:51,511 --> 00:22:55,881
who is one of the most important
art-gallery owners in Kansas City,
425
00:22:55,916 --> 00:23:01,253
and we both overhead you, my husband,
calling my art "crap."
426
00:23:02,589 --> 00:23:05,791
Honestly, I... didn't
even know whose it was.
427
00:23:05,826 --> 00:23:08,194
Well, my name's on it... right there.
428
00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:13,466
That says "Tara Craine"...
your maiden name.
429
00:23:14,534 --> 00:23:16,202
Yeah, well, I just, uh...
430
00:23:16,236 --> 00:23:18,003
I don't even know.
I just signed it that way.
431
00:23:18,038 --> 00:23:19,605
I mean, it was really late
432
00:23:19,639 --> 00:23:21,140
when I finished working last night,
433
00:23:21,174 --> 00:23:23,609
and, um, it just came out.
434
00:23:23,643 --> 00:23:25,778
Lynda thought it was interesting.
435
00:23:25,812 --> 00:23:27,947
Wow. Well...
436
00:23:27,981 --> 00:23:29,815
I've been married to you for 18 years,
437
00:23:29,850 --> 00:23:33,486
and I have to agree...
that's pretty interesting.
438
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:34,887
Jesus Christ.
439
00:23:34,921 --> 00:23:36,422
Let me ask you a fucking question.
440
00:23:38,091 --> 00:23:40,893
Let's just say you had a new alter
named Tara or Tara Craine.
441
00:23:40,927 --> 00:23:41,894
Would you know?
442
00:23:41,928 --> 00:23:43,396
Oh, my God.
443
00:23:43,430 --> 00:23:46,031
Max, I don't... I don't...
444
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,834
Why are you doing this to me?
445
00:23:48,869 --> 00:23:50,669
Can't I just have one good night?
446
00:23:50,704 --> 00:23:51,904
One good night?
447
00:23:51,938 --> 00:23:53,439
You're unbelievable!
448
00:23:53,473 --> 00:23:54,740
What about me?
449
00:23:54,775 --> 00:23:56,609
Could I maybe get one good year?
450
00:23:56,643 --> 00:23:59,412
Do you have any idea how
much of my fucking life
451
00:23:59,446 --> 00:24:02,314
I dedicate to giving you good
days and good nights?
452
00:24:02,349 --> 00:24:04,617
Oh, I know, Max,
but I finally find something
453
00:24:04,651 --> 00:24:06,352
that makes me feel like me...
454
00:24:06,386 --> 00:24:08,721
Oh, this makes you feel like you,
huh?
455
00:24:08,755 --> 00:24:11,157
Not us? N... not... not our house?
456
00:24:11,191 --> 00:24:12,792
I just wanted some space to be able to...
457
00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:14,360
You want some space?!
458
00:24:14,394 --> 00:24:16,395
You want to have a little
time to do your thing?!
459
00:24:16,430 --> 00:24:18,297
You take all the fucking time you want.
460
00:24:41,388 --> 00:24:45,758
I'm... I'm gonna need a ride... home?
461
00:24:45,792 --> 00:24:48,194
Oh, yeah. I'm sure we could do that.
462
00:24:48,228 --> 00:24:49,562
Um...
463
00:24:49,596 --> 00:24:51,197
Can we do that, honey?
464
00:25:01,842 --> 00:25:03,976
I can't go out there. No, no, no.
465
00:25:04,010 --> 00:25:07,450
I... I, uh, I have a...
a phobia of fireworks.
466
00:25:07,451 --> 00:25:10,749
Ever since I was little, something
about the noise just freaks me out.
467
00:25:56,363 --> 00:25:59,031
Oh, God! I'm coming!
468
00:25:59,065 --> 00:26:01,000
Ohhhh!
469
00:26:19,256 --> 00:26:23,356
sync by n17t01 - corrected by chamallow
www.Addic7ed.com
470
00:26:23,406 --> 00:26:27,956
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