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1
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,324
♫ Oh, the old oaken bucket
2
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,241
- Bucket!
3
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,577
♫ The iron-bound bucket
4
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,162
Oh, bucket.
5
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,663
♫ The moss-covered bucket
6
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:22,498
George.
7
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:23,332
♫ That hangs in the well
8
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:24,666
George!
9
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,085
George, I think it was pretty mean of you
10
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:29,296
to drag us out and leave
all our guests flat.
11
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,590
Oh, you didn't drag us out?
12
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,134
Well, I didn't invite them.
13
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,095
You didn't even know them?
14
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,764
Well, they've only been
there for three days.
15
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,140
George.
16
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:41,683
George!
17
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,102
- Wait a minute, I'll be
back in a minute, honey.
18
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,311
What do you want?
19
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,270
- What time is it?
20
00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:46,105
- Huh?
21
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,523
- I said, where we going?
22
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:48,774
- That isn't what you said before.
23
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:49,817
(laughs)
24
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:53,070
♫ Oh, we're going to Wall
Street to see Old Man Topper
25
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,780
♫ Iron-bound Topper
26
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:57,533
♫ That moss-covered Topper
27
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,493
♫ That I promised to meet him at his bank
28
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,036
♫ for the annual meeting
of the board of directors
29
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,996
♫ at 10:30 in the morning
30
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:04,373
- Too many words, honey.
31
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,041
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
32
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,919
- Well, let's see.
It's 10:00 now.
33
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:09,753
- Yep.
34
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,755
- And it takes a half an hour to drive in.
35
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:12,923
- Yep.
36
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,716
- And the meeting's at
10:30 in the morning.
37
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:15,676
- Mm-hmm.
38
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,470
- That leaves 12 hours for
39
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:21,598
for a night of complete rest.
40
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,474
- Yes!
41
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,186
(engine roars)
42
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:30,399
(lively band music)
43
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,119
- Mm-hmm.
44
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,997
So this is how one starts
getting a night's rest?
45
00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:46,957
- My pet, resting is the sort of thing
46
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,042
you've gotta work up to gradually.
47
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,669
Oh, excuse me.
48
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,463
It's very dangerous to rest all of a sudden.
49
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,923
Come on, darling.
50
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,511
- Mr. Kerby is here, hurry.
51
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,470
- Yes, sir.
52
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:03,974
- Good evening, Mrs. Kerby.
53
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,225
- Hello, Joe.
54
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,394
- We have a nice big size table for you.
55
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,854
Over there.
56
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,273
- Hi, Mac.
- Hello, George.
57
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,150
- How are you, George?
58
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,699
- Thank you, Harry.
59
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,533
- Good evening, Mrs. Kerby.
60
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:22,910
- Hello, George.
61
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,664
(lively band music)
62
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:35,339
(lively dance music)
63
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,936
- Come on, the music's swell.
64
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,270
- What?
65
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,731
- I said the music's swell!
66
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,524
- Can't hear you, but I love the music.
67
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,318
- That's what I said.
68
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,535
- May I cut in?
69
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,664
(lively dance music)
70
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,964
(hula music)
71
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,563
- Is this the way in?
72
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:34,606
- Looks like it.
73
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:35,565
- Well, how do we get out?
74
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,776
- Honey, you slide in
and they carry you out.
75
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:38,652
- Oh, no.
76
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:40,988
- Where I go, you go.
77
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,572
- No, hey, wait for me.
78
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,448
- Hup!
79
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,705
- Don't forget to write.
80
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:53,917
(yells)
(laughing)
81
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,253
Gentle George.
82
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,505
Deceitful George.
83
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,258
- Yeah!
84
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,302
♫ Old Man Moon wake up now
85
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,303
Quiet!
86
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,097
♫ 'Cause I've fallen in love
87
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:11,310
♫ Go spread the news
to all the stars above
88
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:17,399
♫ Shine for my baby while
we're dancing tonight
89
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:23,655
♫ And fill her tender eyes
with love and dynamite
90
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,407
Yeah.
91
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,992
- Yeah, and look at the time.
92
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,744
Look at the time, the end.
93
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:31,621
♫ In a bottle of wine
94
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:35,375
♫ Just do your darnedest to make sure
95
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,501
♫ That she'll be mine
96
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,253
Please, Mr. Kerby.
97
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,130
Take your girl home, please.
98
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,924
♫ To keep shining 'til noon
99
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:46,178
♫ My sincerest thanks to you, sir
100
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:49,431
♫ Old Man Moon
101
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,184
Look, Mr. Kerby, you are my best customer.
102
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,685
And I appreciate that.
103
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:54,895
Maybe you got no home.
104
00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,605
Maybe you don't need sleep.
105
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,190
But me, I have a home
106
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,442
and I need to have some sleep!
107
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,276
- All right, Tony.
108
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,569
Just one more chorus.
109
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,946
- You're telling me the same
story for the last hour.
110
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,990
I get-a sick and tired
of hearing that song
111
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:07,991
over and over again!
112
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,952
♫ With love or dynamite
113
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:15,165
♫ Old Man Moon keeps
stardust in a bottle of wine
114
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,252
♫ Just do your darnedest to make sure
115
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,712
Yes, good night!
116
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,299
- Maybe the poor man's tired.
117
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,550
- I don't know why he should be tired.
118
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,177
We did all the singing.
119
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:32,140
♫ And if it's possible
to keep shining 'til noon
120
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:35,185
♫ My sincerest thanks to you, dear
121
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,979
♫ Old Man Moon
122
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,690
♫ Old Man Moon
123
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:44,027
♫ Old Man Moon
124
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,028
Good night Hoagy!
125
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,738
- So long, see you next time.
126
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,407
- Come on, clean up.
127
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,574
♫ Old Man Moon
128
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:50,742
♫ Old Man Moon
129
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,828
♫ Old Man Moon
130
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,455
♫ Oh, Old Man Moon
131
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,750
♫ My sincerest thanks to you, sir
132
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,085
- Get in, honey.
133
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,087
♫ Oh, Old Man Moon
134
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,088
Ah, Jimmy.
135
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,172
Did we keep you waiting long?
136
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,382
- Oh, that's all right.
137
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,676
♫ My sincerest thanks to you, sir
138
00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,177
♫ Old Man Moon
139
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,011
Wilson!
140
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:12,097
♫ Old Man Wilson
141
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,474
♫ Old Man Wilson
142
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,976
- Old Man Wilson, that squares us up
143
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:16,852
for the whole week.
144
00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,437
- Right, Mr. Kerby.
145
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,942
♫ My sincerest thanks to you, sir
146
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,653
♫ Old Man Moon
147
00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:41,001
- Hey, George, is this
10:30 in the morning?
148
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,627
- No, this is Topper's bank.
149
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:43,462
- Oh.
150
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:44,379
- Honey, do me a favor.
151
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,255
- What?
152
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,548
- Shut my eyes.
153
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,969
- I'll shut your mouth.
154
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,263
- Good night, my pet.
155
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,389
- Good night.
156
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,732
- Hey, hey, hey.
157
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,234
- Oh, hello.
You going to a costume ball?
158
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,236
- What do you think this is, an auto camp?
159
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,155
- Crosspatch, crosspatch.
160
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,448
- C'mon, get out of here now.
161
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,532
You can't sleep here.
162
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:13,366
- I'm not sleeping.
163
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:14,242
Talk to him about it.
164
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,203
He seems to be doing it all.
165
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:17,621
- Oh, hush, Marion.
166
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,705
Who have you dug up now?
167
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:19,789
- I didn't dig him up.
168
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:20,832
He dug us up.
169
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:21,958
- Make him go away.
170
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,002
I can't, it's a C-O-P.
171
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,253
C-O-P?
Oh!
172
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,672
Tell him we don't want any.
173
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,424
- Hey, hey, hey!
174
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:30,383
- Flies.
175
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,386
- C'mon, get out of here now.
You can't sleep here.
176
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,305
- Uh, we're not sleeping, we're waiting.
177
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,932
- Waitin' for what?
178
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,809
- For the annual meeting
of the board of directors
179
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,102
of that there bank.
180
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:44,147
- Oh, darn.
There's nobody in there.
181
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,106
- Maybe they're late.
182
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,399
- Maybe they're late.
183
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:48,276
- You see, you can't argue with him.
184
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,819
- No, I can't, eh?
185
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,446
Now I wanna tell you something
186
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:54,824
- See what you can do with this instead.
187
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,119
- Well, of all the
188
00:08:58,162 --> 00:08:58,995
Oh!
189
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:05,835
- Temper.
190
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,902
- It's three minutes after 8:00, sir.
191
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,029
- Oh, all right, Wilkins.
192
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:42,205
Do you realize that most men don't get
193
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,166
chased out of the water
like trained seals?
194
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:47,294
Most men can dawdle in their shower.
195
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:48,920
- You are not most men, sir.
196
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,380
- Why can't I be most men?
197
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,382
- Because you are Mr. Topper, sir.
198
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,676
And Mrs. Topper insists.
199
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,511
It's four minutes past.
200
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,721
We dress now.
201
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,514
- We dress now, yeah.
202
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:22,912
Good morning, Clara.
203
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,331
- Good morning, dear.
204
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,165
You're late.
205
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,959
- Oh, better late than never.
206
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,919
Only 44 seconds anyhow.
207
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:39,929
Can't that fella wait until
208
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,598
I tell him what I want?
209
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,433
- Because you always have the same thing.
210
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,226
- Supposing one morning
I were to take a notion
211
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,686
to battle a trout...
212
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,022
or some oatmeal or something?
213
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,565
Where would we be then?
214
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,816
- Don't be silly.
215
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:54,444
I've taken great pains to
arrange your diet properly.
216
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,822
You need sulphur, and eggs have sulphur.
217
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,242
Don't dally, dear.
218
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,286
James tells me you had
219
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,829
to run for the train yesterday.
220
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:05,830
- I did; I ran fast too.
221
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,332
I caught the very last step.
222
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,126
- The very last step?
Outrageous.
223
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,420
- What is outrageous about
running for a train, dear?
224
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,421
Lots of men do it.
225
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,590
- Yes, clerks and bookkeepers who come
226
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,426
to the depot in a bus to catch the 7:45.
227
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,679
But for the president of the
bank to arrive in a limousine
228
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,180
to take the banker's special,
229
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:25,517
and then to run all over the
platform like a silly chicken.
230
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:26,851
- I didn't run like a silly chicken.
231
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,687
I ran beautifully.
232
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:31,189
- Besides, you know how
you puff when you run.
233
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,482
- Of course I puff.
Everybody puffs.
234
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,817
You puff yourself, Clara.
235
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,485
I remember that day
- Cosmo, please.
236
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,778
Don't be vulgar.
237
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:37,654
- Sorry, dear.
238
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,031
- And I don't care if you are
well-preserved for your age.
239
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,200
You look anything but
dignified when you run.
240
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,451
And I won't have you climbing aboard
241
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,620
the banker's special all out of breath.
242
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,579
- 8:42 sir.
243
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:54,921
- Good-bye, dear.
244
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,797
- Bye.
245
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,434
Don't run, dear.
246
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,198
- It's 8:45, Mr. Topper.
247
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:28,705
(crowd chattering)
248
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,532
- Morning, Mr. Topper.
249
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:05,408
- Morning.
250
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,455
- Good morning, Mr. Topper.
- Good morning.
251
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,917
- Good morning, Mr Topper.
- Good morning.
252
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,339
Good morning.
- Good morning.
253
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:28,681
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
254
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,642
- You know, it is a good
morning too, isn't it?
255
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:32,352
I haven't enjoyed it though.
256
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:33,561
- Well, don't you feel all right?
257
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,395
- I don't feel all right.
258
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,356
I feel a million years old.
259
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,232
- You, old?
260
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,025
Why, you'll never grow old, Mr. Topper.
261
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,109
- No?
- I think you grow
262
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,778
younger every year.
263
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,738
- I'd rather grow younger every day.
264
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,198
Anything special this morning?
265
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,909
- No, but Mrs. Topper phoned me to be sure
266
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,036
that you go to lunch promptly at 12:00.
267
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,788
- Did she tell you what I was to eat?
268
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,289
It's all right, I'll remember.
269
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,667
- The directors are all
waiting in the board room.
270
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,377
- All of them?
271
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,045
- All except Mr. Kerby.
272
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,547
- He promised me faithfully--
273
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:01,673
- He's not here.
274
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,634
I phoned his penthouse and
their Long Island place.
275
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,970
Neither of them had been home all night.
276
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,137
- I suppose not.
277
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,431
We'll probably have to get a detective to
278
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:12,684
locate him the way we did last year.
279
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,270
If he should turn up,
ask him please to come in
280
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,814
and sign the minutes at least.
281
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,317
- My word!
282
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,862
Fine place to sleep, isn't it?
283
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,168
- Gentlemen, we will as usual
conduct our annual meeting
284
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:43,381
without the presence of our
largest stockholder, Mr. Kerby.
285
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,634
- Weather clear, track fast!
286
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:48,845
I made it!
287
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,280
- The meeting will please come to order.
288
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:11,492
Very gratifying to have
you with us, Mr. Kerby.
289
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,660
I will read the annual statement
290
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:16,497
that is ready for publication
if approved by this board
291
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,207
and you, Mr. Kerby.
292
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,792
- Okay, shoot.
293
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:20,919
- Shoot, huh?
294
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,463
"Cash on hand in federal reserve bank
295
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:27,258
"and due from banks and
bankers: $660,220,262
296
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,761
"and 99 cents.
297
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,221
"Bullion abroad and in transit:
298
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,432
$13,202,854 and no cents."
299
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,270
- No cents.
300
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,939
- I just said that, Mr. Kerby.
301
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:41,898
- So did I.
302
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,736
(clears throat)
- To continue.
303
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,031
"Acceptances: $47,501 ,324 and 36 cents.
304
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,660
"Less own acceptances
held for investments:
305
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,787
"$7,986,449 and 39 cents.
306
00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:01,501
"Which totals for
$39,514,874 and 97 cents."
307
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,420
(crowd chattering)
308
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,714
- Just goes to sleep from
going to those wild parties.
309
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:09,092
Then you come here to sleep.
310
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:19,394
- Just hold the car, please.
311
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,979
I'll be back in a couple of days.
312
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:23,606
(crowd laughs)
313
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,574
(whistles)
314
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:36,786
- Get a load of the fur-bearing blond.
315
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,872
- Good morning, Mrs. Kerby.
- Good morning.
316
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,249
- If you're looking for your husband
317
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,709
- Oh no, I know where he is.
318
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,585
In there dummying up
the directors' meeting.
319
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:46,671
But if you happen to see
him looking for someone,
320
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,256
remind him that it's me, will you?
321
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:50,299
And tell him where I am.
322
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:53,553
- Oh, my goodness.
323
00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,263
She's gone into his private office.
324
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:57,265
- "Lobbies and endorsements
and acceptances
325
00:16:57,307 --> 00:17:00,935
"and foreign bills:
$3,014,142 and no cents.
326
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,733
"Deposits: $1 ,709,643,127 and 39 cents.
327
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:16,701
"Liabilities and endorsements
and outstanding checks:
328
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,911
"35,166,883 and 36 cents.
329
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,751
"Total: $1 ,744,910,010 and 75 cents
330
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,922
♫ The old oaken bucket
331
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:30,798
Yeah!
332
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,510
♫ The iron-bound bucket
333
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:38,056
- "Balance: $2,086,978,810 and 17 cents."
334
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,184
Now, if you gentlemen will agree this
335
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,394
report is satisfactory for publication-
336
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,812
- It can't be done!
337
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,606
- I beg your pardon.
I don't understand why
338
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,608
it can't be done.
339
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,567
- Look, try it.
340
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:50,818
You try writing your name upside down
341
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,029
and backwards without stopping.
342
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:53,905
Here.
343
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:00,328
- I move we adjourn.
344
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:01,329
- I second the motion.
345
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:02,538
- Aye.
346
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:03,372
- Carried.
347
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,207
Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me,
348
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,374
I have a great deal of business on my desk
349
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:08,169
that I wish to attend to at once.
350
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:10,838
- Whew!
351
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,094
- Moss-covered bucket!
352
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,304
Write your name backwards.
353
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,056
It can't be done.
354
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:20,932
No sense.
355
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,851
George Kerby's a nitwit if ever I saw one.
356
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,019
Confound him.
357
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,562
- Psst!
358
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,107
- Don't "psst" at me.
359
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,566
- Go ahead and psst at him.
360
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:31,692
I think it's cute.
361
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:35,279
- Why, I didn't know you were here.
362
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,365
- Oh, don't apologize.
363
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,659
If you're confounding George,
364
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,619
I think you're absolutely right.
365
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,704
But you only have to put
up with him once a year.
366
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,332
Think of me, I have to live with him.
367
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,583
I guess I love it.
368
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,878
- Please don't misunderstand.
I like George.
369
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,004
I'm very fond of him.
370
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,048
- And he's fond of you too.
371
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,800
In fact, we both are.
372
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,051
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
373
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,344
No, please, no.
374
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:03,349
Uh, uh, that'll be all, Miss Johnson.
375
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,519
- You know, Topper, you were awfully silly
376
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,604
not to come to our anniversary party.
377
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,022
It was a swell one.
378
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,816
Laughter for days.
379
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,151
In fact, I think it's-
380
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,528
it might be still going on.
381
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,488
- I bet it was fun, yeah.
382
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:18,948
But-But Mrs. -
383
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,200
Mrs. Topper... doesn't approve.
384
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,495
She- We had another engagement.
385
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,746
You understand, don't you?
386
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:28,291
- Yes, I'm afraid I do.
387
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,500
Why don't you stop being a mummy
388
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,252
for a few minutes and come to life?
389
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,628
Of course there's nothing
wrong in being a mummy
390
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,506
if you had any fun in getting that way-
391
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,925
- But I- I didn't, you see.
392
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,427
- No, I can tell that by the
393
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,721
way you're staring at my knees.
394
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,682
- Why, I-I never stared
at a knee in my life.
395
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:47,768
- That's probably just
what's wrong with you.
396
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,979
- Of course, I... I suppose I do envy
397
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,939
the way you and George do things.
398
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,482
But it would never do for me,
399
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:54,901
for a man in my position.
400
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:56,068
Then as Mrs. Topper says-
401
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:58,279
- Ah, as Mrs. Topper says.
402
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:03,242
That's the situation
and the box it came in.
403
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,118
- Oh, Oh.
404
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,079
- Hello, honey.
405
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,122
- Never mind.
I found her.
406
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,832
She's running the bank.
407
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,792
- George, look.
408
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,544
What's the matter with him?
409
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,379
- He's old enough to know
what's the matter with him.
410
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:18,174
"Liabilities, no cents, assets. "
411
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,800
Topper, I know just the
thing for the two of us.
412
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:20,635
Where is it?
413
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,011
- But something's biting the man,
414
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,638
eating him from the inside.
415
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,097
- Maybe termites.
416
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,974
- What sort of a woman is Mrs. Topper?
417
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,809
Don't tell me.
I'll guess.
418
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,937
Is she the horsey type?
No.
419
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,813
The tennis type?
No.
420
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,982
I know.
She's the kin type.
421
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,151
Arranges your diets, fixes your clothes,
422
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,986
tells you what you'll
eat and where you'll go.
423
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,696
Well, to a certain extent, yes.
424
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:41,572
- Where do you keep it?
425
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:42,406
- Keep what?
426
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,241
- The bottle.
427
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,533
Don't tell me there isn't a bottle here?
428
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,576
- Of course there isn't a bottle.
429
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,828
This is a business office.
430
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,330
- Business is all right,
431
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,166
but don't you think that's
carrying business too far?
432
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,334
Come on Marion, let's roll.
433
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,293
- I don't wanna leave Topper.
434
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,087
Somehow I feel if I could pull him apart,
435
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:58,214
I could put him together again
and he'd work much better.
436
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,799
- Catch.
437
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:01,259
Topper, take my advice.
438
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:02,635
Don't let her make a
guinea pig out of you.
439
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,345
You'll never be the same again.
440
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:05,221
So long.
441
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,528
- Hmm. Mrs. Kerby's handkerchief.
442
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,904
- Oh.
Thank you.
443
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,201
- I'm ready, Mr. Topper.
444
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,577
- Hmm.
Yes, yes.
445
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,748
A.H. Greg & Company, 80
Milk Street, Boston, Mass.
446
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:36,460
Dear sir, yours is the
ninth received and...
447
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:41,257
Fascinating woman,
Marion Kerby, isn't she?
448
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,929
She reminds me of an Easter
egg I had as a small boy.
449
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:47,930
- An Easter egg?
450
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:48,764
- Mm-hmm.
451
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,725
One of those frosty ones, you
know, with a peephole in it.
452
00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:52,768
You looked through and saw an angel.
453
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:56,897
I wonder why Marion Kerby
reminds me of an angel.
454
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:01,068
Uh, yes, where were we?
455
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:03,529
- Maybe we'd better start over.
456
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:05,906
- The angel was a blond too.
457
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:14,457
(relaxing instrumental music)
458
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,294
- You're driving us crazy way out here.
459
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,088
I mean, you're crazy to
drive us way out here.
460
00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:23,424
We could be at the apartment
sleeping our ears off.
461
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:24,717
- The apartment's too close to that bank.
462
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:25,926
It's in the same city.
463
00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:26,802
- Why do you pick on the bank?
464
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,137
It doesn't pick on you.
465
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,056
- No, but that stuffed
egg that runs it does.
466
00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:31,849
- Stuffed eggs, I love 'em.
467
00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:34,352
You never know what's in
'em till you take a bite.
468
00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:35,936
- Take a bite out of Topper for me once
469
00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:37,730
and crack your teeth.
470
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,648
- Why do you love him so?
471
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:40,733
- Because he bores me stiff.
472
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,318
He's like an unsuccessful sheep.
473
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,486
- Oh, don't say that.
474
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:46,822
Topper has very interesting
possibilities, maybe.
475
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:47,698
- Well, so does a sheep.
476
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:50,576
It can be chopped or hash or soup.
477
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,454
- Hash, Topper.
478
00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:55,039
That fits, doesn't it, George?
479
00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:56,957
- Offhand, I'd say, what
are you talking about?
480
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,334
- Hash, Topper.
481
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,960
You know, all mixed up.
482
00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:01,420
All he needs is a little
straightening out,
483
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,047
and I can do it to him, can't I George?
484
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:04,632
- Yeah, listen, the last time you tried
485
00:23:04,674 --> 00:23:06,967
straightening a guy out,
you cost me 10 grand.
486
00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:09,512
Not this time, my foot's down.
487
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,642
- If you ask me, I'd
say it was down too far.
488
00:23:14,684 --> 00:23:17,395
I nearly skinned my eyebrows
on the trees that time.
489
00:23:17,437 --> 00:23:19,313
- My pet, if you were driving the car,
490
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:20,231
there wouldn't be any trees.
491
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:21,524
You'd have plowed 'em up.
492
00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:24,318
- You remember what happened
to the last car we had?
493
00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:25,945
- Sure, you drove it into a meat market.
494
00:23:25,987 --> 00:23:28,155
- No, the one before that.
495
00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:31,242
- Well, I can't remember that far back.
496
00:23:31,284 --> 00:23:32,618
- George, look out.
497
00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:33,869
- What?
There's something in my eye.
498
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,496
- Something in your eye?
499
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,331
Be careful!
Look out!
500
00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:39,417
You'll never make it, George!
501
00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:43,629
(wood breaking)
(loud crash)
502
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:50,428
- Oh, boy.
503
00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:54,807
I guess I'll never hear the last of this.
504
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,600
- Oh, look at my car.
505
00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:59,562
- Look at my hat.
506
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,526
- And I got a run in my stockings.
507
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:07,361
- Look at that.
508
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:09,280
- I told you to slow up, but would you?
509
00:24:09,322 --> 00:24:10,156
Oh, no.
510
00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:13,659
- Can I help it if a tire blows out?
511
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,453
Besides, I had something in my eye.
512
00:24:15,495 --> 00:24:18,164
- Couldn't have been
your driving, could it?
513
00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:20,833
- I've come around that curve
much faster lots of times.
514
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:21,667
So have you.
515
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:24,295
- It was such a lovely car too.
516
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:27,965
Oh, George!
517
00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:29,175
- Hmm?
518
00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:31,469
- You're getting transparent.
519
00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:32,678
You're fading.
520
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,224
- Say, that's funny.
521
00:24:38,101 --> 00:24:40,227
I can see through you too.
522
00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:48,277
Say...
523
00:24:49,613 --> 00:24:51,155
who's that?
524
00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:54,116
- That's us.
You know something, George?
525
00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:55,743
I think we're dead.
526
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:01,081
- I think you're right.
527
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:07,880
It's funny, I don't feel any different.
528
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,507
- No, neither do I.
529
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:13,594
Now I wonder what happens.
530
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:14,887
- I don't know.
531
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:17,848
I suppose pretty soon we'll hear trumpets,
532
00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:19,475
and then off we go.
533
00:25:24,314 --> 00:25:26,023
I hope we go together, honey.
534
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:26,899
- So do I.
535
00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:32,571
No trumpets.
536
00:25:34,282 --> 00:25:35,783
- No, no trumpets.
537
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:40,371
Marion, what do you suppose is the
538
00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:43,082
conventional thing to do now?
539
00:25:43,124 --> 00:25:45,000
- I don't know.
540
00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:47,545
We've never been conventional.
541
00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:52,091
- I think we tell someone our good deeds,
542
00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:53,259
and then they open up the beautiful gates
543
00:25:53,301 --> 00:25:55,094
and let us through.
544
00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:57,513
- Yes, but what good deeds have you done?
545
00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:59,181
- Oh, dozens.
546
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,099
- Name one.
547
00:26:00,141 --> 00:26:01,725
- Well, I've, uh...
548
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:05,062
- Mm-hmm.
- I've, uh...
549
00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:08,732
Hey, what good deeds have you done?
550
00:26:08,775 --> 00:26:09,775
- Well, I...
551
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:16,323
- At least we haven't
done any bad ones, honey.
552
00:26:16,366 --> 00:26:18,951
- Yes, but that's not enough,
553
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:21,870
and I'm afraid it's too late now.
554
00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:23,497
- Yes.
555
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,875
And I'm afraid that for once in our, uh-
556
00:26:28,503 --> 00:26:30,838
Well, for once, we're stuck.
557
00:26:33,216 --> 00:26:34,842
- George, maybe not.
558
00:26:34,884 --> 00:26:35,968
- Hmm?
559
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:39,138
- Maybe if we could do
a good deed now, and-
560
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:40,097
Oh, George!
561
00:26:41,057 --> 00:26:42,224
You're fading.
562
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:54,403
- Didn't you think the
lamb was especially good?
563
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:55,738
- Yes, of course it was good.
564
00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:58,115
Why must we always have lamb on Sundays?
565
00:26:58,158 --> 00:26:59,617
- You like lamb, don't you?
566
00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:02,036
- Yes, I like it, but couldn't
we have it on some other day?
567
00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:04,079
Say Tuesday or Thursday.
568
00:27:04,122 --> 00:27:08,959
- We have beef on Tuesday and
boiled vegetables on Thursday.
569
00:27:09,002 --> 00:27:10,252
- Oh, sparrows!
570
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:14,048
- Why do you use that silly word?
571
00:27:14,090 --> 00:27:18,177
- Because you won't let
me swear like a gentleman.
572
00:27:18,219 --> 00:27:20,262
- Cosmo, what has come over you lately?
573
00:27:20,305 --> 00:27:23,140
You've been acting so strange and moody.
574
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:25,059
Not at all like your usual self.
575
00:27:25,101 --> 00:27:26,685
- I don't know.
576
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:29,647
Ever since the Kerby
tragedy, I've been thinking.
577
00:27:29,689 --> 00:27:31,440
Clara, life is so very short,
578
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,151
and we get so very little out of it.
579
00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:36,362
- Don't you realize, we're middle age?
580
00:27:36,404 --> 00:27:38,530
- But why should we be middle age?
581
00:27:38,573 --> 00:27:39,907
After all, we're not so very much older
582
00:27:39,949 --> 00:27:41,200
than the Kerbys were.
583
00:27:41,242 --> 00:27:45,287
And look how carefree they
were, how full of life.
584
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:48,207
I can hardly realize they've gone.
585
00:27:48,249 --> 00:27:49,249
Poor George.
586
00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:53,712
Poor Marion.
587
00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,589
- Poor Marion?
588
00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:56,924
Of course, I never saw her,
589
00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:58,384
but from what I've heard of her,
590
00:27:58,426 --> 00:28:00,302
she never thought of
anything in her whole life
591
00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:02,096
except how to paint her pretty face
592
00:28:02,138 --> 00:28:03,889
and wag her figure about.
593
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:05,516
- Oh, yes, she did.
594
00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:08,477
She used to think about me.
595
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,813
- Oh, don't be foolish.
596
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:12,606
I shudder to think what kind of a ninny
597
00:28:12,649 --> 00:28:16,402
you'd make if you didn't
have me to stop you.
598
00:28:17,904 --> 00:28:19,738
- There's a man outside, sir.
599
00:28:19,781 --> 00:28:21,907
He wishes to see you about
600
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:24,660
a contraption he's brought with him.
601
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:25,536
- Oh, yes.
602
00:28:38,174 --> 00:28:40,843
- Well, here she is, Mr. Topper.
603
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:47,850
Just as good as the day she was bought.
604
00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:51,729
I've got a list of the
things I've done to her.
605
00:28:51,771 --> 00:28:52,563
- Mm-hmm.
606
00:28:52,605 --> 00:28:57,359
- Now, you see here, I put
in a brand-new front axle.
607
00:28:57,402 --> 00:29:00,988
No use trying to repair them things.
608
00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:03,407
- Well, she's something, isn't it?
609
00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:06,326
How much you think we could sell it for?
610
00:29:06,369 --> 00:29:08,454
- Well, it's pretty hard
to tell, Mr. Topper.
611
00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:11,081
It ain't like trying to sell just any car.
612
00:29:11,124 --> 00:29:12,666
You gotta find the right party.
613
00:29:12,709 --> 00:29:14,626
- You mean, someone who
hasn't heard of the wreck.
614
00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:15,753
- Yeah, that too.
615
00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:17,963
Some people are superstitious.
616
00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:20,799
I mean, somebody who will fit it, kind of.
617
00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:22,301
- What do you mean, fit it?
618
00:29:22,343 --> 00:29:23,677
- Well, like, uh...
619
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:24,511
Well, take yourself.
620
00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:26,221
You could never own a car like this.
621
00:29:26,264 --> 00:29:27,931
- No, I suppose not.
622
00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:30,184
Why couldn't I?
623
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:35,022
- Well, uh, for one thing, the missus,
624
00:29:35,064 --> 00:29:38,233
she don't care for
anything flashy, does she?
625
00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:39,818
- Mrs. Topper runs the household,
626
00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:42,029
and very efficiently too.
627
00:29:42,071 --> 00:29:44,698
But when it comes to buying cars-
628
00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:48,911
Of course I never wanted to
buy a car like this, but...
629
00:29:51,831 --> 00:29:54,291
if I did want to buy a car like this,
630
00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:55,167
I'd, uh...
631
00:29:56,544 --> 00:29:58,420
I'd buy a car like this.
632
00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:01,215
(horn blares)
633
00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:02,549
How do I look?
634
00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:04,426
- Oh, you look swell, Mr. Topper.
635
00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:06,970
(horn blares)
636
00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:09,181
- You bet I do.
637
00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:10,265
I fit it too.
638
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:13,519
Fit it just like a kid glove, you know.
639
00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:18,232
- Oh, for heaven's sake, Cosmo!
640
00:30:18,274 --> 00:30:20,692
What are you doing in
that horrible contrap...
641
00:30:20,735 --> 00:30:22,152
that horrible thing?
642
00:30:22,195 --> 00:30:22,986
- Sitting in it, dear.
643
00:30:23,029 --> 00:30:24,112
Just sitting.
644
00:30:25,281 --> 00:30:26,406
- Just sitting?
645
00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:28,450
You look like a whatnot.
646
00:30:30,537 --> 00:30:31,745
- As a matter of fact,
647
00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,205
I'm thinking of buying it.
648
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:34,414
- Buying it?
649
00:30:34,457 --> 00:30:36,500
Buying that circus wagon?
650
00:30:36,543 --> 00:30:37,835
Well, of all the absurd.
651
00:30:37,877 --> 00:30:40,254
Cosmo, you must be dithering.
652
00:30:40,296 --> 00:30:43,298
- I thought it'd be fun
to drive my own car,
653
00:30:43,341 --> 00:30:45,092
weekends, anyways.
654
00:30:45,134 --> 00:30:46,552
- Of course, I suppose you're old enough
655
00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:48,178
to know your own mind, but-
656
00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:52,391
- Clara, we used to play together
once, and we could again.
657
00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:56,228
We could drive up to Lake
Placid, just you and I.
658
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:59,773
Stop at a roadhouse, and dinner and dance-
659
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:00,607
- Drive in that?
660
00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:02,109
You're asking me to drive in a car
661
00:31:02,151 --> 00:31:03,861
that looks like a painted Jezebel?
662
00:31:03,903 --> 00:31:06,071
And drive in it to a roadhouse?
663
00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:10,701
Why, it would be like going
to the opera in my nightgown.
664
00:31:10,743 --> 00:31:11,910
- Painted Jezebel, eh?
665
00:31:11,953 --> 00:31:13,120
So I'm a ditherer.
666
00:31:13,162 --> 00:31:14,705
Well, I'm jolly well gonna dither then.
667
00:31:14,747 --> 00:31:17,416
(engine starts)
668
00:31:37,604 --> 00:31:40,689
(truck horn blaring)
669
00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:51,074
(truck horn blaring)
670
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,066
(horn honking)
671
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,129
(tire pops)
672
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:14,658
- Would you mind getting
off my wife's lap?
673
00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:16,034
- Who said that?
674
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:27,421
- Olley, olley, oxen free.
675
00:33:27,463 --> 00:33:31,299
- Stop it, my nerves are
jumpy enough already.
676
00:33:32,301 --> 00:33:33,468
Where are you?
677
00:33:35,388 --> 00:33:38,181
- Hey, get off my foot.
678
00:33:38,224 --> 00:33:39,975
- Who are you?
Where are you?
679
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:42,269
I'm in no mood for this sort of thing.
680
00:33:42,311 --> 00:33:43,812
Come out in the open where I can see you.
681
00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,397
- Toppy doesn't know us.
682
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,274
Toppy doesn't know us.
683
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:52,738
- Mrs. Kerby, may I present Mr. Topper.
684
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:54,156
- How do you do, Mr. Topper?
685
00:33:54,198 --> 00:33:56,199
- How-How-How do you do?
686
00:33:57,410 --> 00:33:59,369
- And this is Mr. Kerby, Mr. Topper.
687
00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:01,455
- Uh, how-how do you-
688
00:34:01,497 --> 00:34:02,581
George and Marion Kerby?
689
00:34:02,623 --> 00:34:04,124
Why...
It can't be.
690
00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:07,627
It- It mustn't be.
691
00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:14,051
It is.
692
00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:16,970
- Oh, dear, dear.
693
00:34:17,013 --> 00:34:17,804
Topper's fainted.
694
00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:19,097
Get some water, Marion.
695
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:19,973
- Water.
696
00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:26,104
- Come on, Topper.
697
00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:28,648
- Oh!
698
00:34:28,691 --> 00:34:32,152
- Oh, that's fine, you're a great help.
699
00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:33,028
My hat!
700
00:34:44,415 --> 00:34:46,249
- Oh, no, no, it can't be.
701
00:34:46,292 --> 00:34:48,168
It- No, no, no-
702
00:34:48,211 --> 00:34:50,087
I'm gonna get in my car and drive home.
703
00:34:50,129 --> 00:34:51,505
- No, Topper.
- Sit down, Topper.
704
00:34:51,547 --> 00:34:53,131
You can't get in your car and drive home
705
00:34:53,174 --> 00:34:54,382
because you've got a flat tire.
706
00:34:54,425 --> 00:34:56,885
Besides, it isn't your car.
It's ours.
707
00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:58,386
- I'll walk.
You can have the car.
708
00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:00,722
Mrs. Topper doesn't like
the horrible thing anyway.
709
00:35:00,765 --> 00:35:02,224
- George, did you hear that?
710
00:35:02,266 --> 00:35:04,059
Mrs. Topper doesn't like the car.
711
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:05,393
Our good deed.
Let's get to work on him.
712
00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:06,269
- What do you mean get to work on him?
713
00:35:06,312 --> 00:35:07,104
Never mind Topper.
714
00:35:07,146 --> 00:35:09,022
Why doesn't Mrs. Topper like the car?
715
00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:10,315
- She just plain doesn't like it.
716
00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:13,026
That's all she often does,
plain doesn't like things.
717
00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:14,569
- What kind of talk is that Topper?
718
00:35:14,612 --> 00:35:16,488
She just plain doesn't like things.
719
00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:17,906
- I refuse to say another word.
720
00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:20,784
I'm probably talking to myself anyway.
721
00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:21,743
- Well, like that.
722
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,245
We find you fainting all over the place.
723
00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:25,789
We nurse you back to health,
and still you're complaining.
724
00:35:25,832 --> 00:35:26,873
- I want to go home!
725
00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:29,000
- No, Topper, you can't go home.
726
00:35:29,043 --> 00:35:30,794
Besides, George has to change the tire.
727
00:35:30,837 --> 00:35:31,628
And he's very good at it too.
728
00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:33,004
Go ahead, honey.
729
00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:37,551
- All right, I'll change the tire.
730
00:35:42,348 --> 00:35:43,557
But I'll be darned if I'm gonna waste
731
00:35:43,599 --> 00:35:45,517
any ectoplasm doing it.
732
00:35:58,072 --> 00:36:00,282
- You see, Toppy, we only
have a certain amount
733
00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:02,826
of ectoplasm to use to get visible.
734
00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:05,162
Naturally, we can't waste it, can we?
735
00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:06,872
- Of course not, no.
736
00:36:35,484 --> 00:36:38,403
No, I- I wish someone would wake me up.
737
00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:40,488
- Now, now, Toppy, I won't bite you.
738
00:36:40,531 --> 00:36:42,741
C'mon, let's sit over there by
the tree and be comfortable.
739
00:36:42,783 --> 00:36:44,409
We might as well be
comfortable while George works,
740
00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:45,827
don't you think so?
741
00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:46,703
Come on.
742
00:36:50,124 --> 00:36:52,959
You sit there and I'll relax here.
743
00:36:54,712 --> 00:36:57,547
You know, Toppy, you're
a funny little fellow.
744
00:36:57,590 --> 00:36:58,632
You intrigue me.
745
00:36:58,674 --> 00:37:00,091
Why did you happen to buy our car?
746
00:37:00,134 --> 00:37:03,595
- I bought it because I was mad.
747
00:37:03,638 --> 00:37:04,512
- Who at?
748
00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:05,972
- Never mind.
749
00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:07,807
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
750
00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:09,851
- Toppy had a fight with Mrs. Toppy.
751
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:10,894
- I did not!
752
00:37:12,271 --> 00:37:14,522
- Come on, tell the
girlfriend all about it.
753
00:37:14,565 --> 00:37:15,523
- What girlfriend?
754
00:37:15,566 --> 00:37:16,566
- Yours.
Me.
755
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:21,571
Say, you don't mind if I save my energy
756
00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:23,823
and just become nothing
for a while, do you?
757
00:37:23,866 --> 00:37:24,658
- I don't suppose I do.
758
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,409
I don't know what you're talking about.
759
00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:27,661
- Dematerializing.
760
00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:29,371
Watch.
It works like a zipper.
761
00:37:29,413 --> 00:37:30,247
Zip!
762
00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:35,961
- Marion!
Marion, where are you?
763
00:37:36,003 --> 00:37:36,795
- Right here.
764
00:37:36,837 --> 00:37:37,754
- What?
Oh.
765
00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:41,258
Well, make a noise every
now and then, will you,
766
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:43,218
so that I'll know where I'm talking to?
767
00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:44,386
- Okay, I'll do this.
768
00:37:44,428 --> 00:37:45,553
(whistles)
769
00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:46,388
- Yes, fine.
770
00:37:46,430 --> 00:37:47,222
- Now, go on.
771
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:48,473
Tell me about buying the car.
772
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:52,978
- Oh, well, I just decided
I'd buy it, you know.
773
00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:55,063
I had an awful time with it at first,
774
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:56,481
because I was going along
775
00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:58,483
and then a great big truck came along
776
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,151
and chased me off the road.
777
00:38:00,194 --> 00:38:02,320
And then I was just getting over that
778
00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:04,406
when a huge bus came along
779
00:38:04,448 --> 00:38:06,574
and chased me off the
side of the hill like.
780
00:38:06,617 --> 00:38:07,659
- Hey, watch out!
781
00:38:07,702 --> 00:38:09,661
- Oh, I beg your pardon.
782
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:10,704
Well, then,
783
00:38:10,746 --> 00:38:13,540
then I was going along
peacefully, you know,
784
00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:14,874
and suddenly, bam!
785
00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:15,709
(humming)
786
00:38:15,751 --> 00:38:17,419
I was slapped by a--
787
00:38:21,507 --> 00:38:25,343
Just explaining something
to a friend of mine.
788
00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:30,223
Is it my fault that there's no one here?
789
00:38:30,266 --> 00:38:31,975
(Marion whistling)
790
00:38:32,018 --> 00:38:33,101
Quiet.
791
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,645
♫ The iron-bound bucket
792
00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:38,940
♫ The moss-covered bucket
793
00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:42,235
♫ That hangs in the well
794
00:38:42,278 --> 00:38:46,114
(George singing indistinctly)
795
00:38:52,246 --> 00:38:53,663
(car horn honks)
796
00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:54,748
- Hey, Marion!
797
00:38:54,790 --> 00:38:56,207
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
798
00:38:56,250 --> 00:38:57,292
I've got an idea.
799
00:38:57,335 --> 00:38:58,960
- When George has an idea, it is,
800
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,379
generally speaking, an idea.
801
00:39:01,422 --> 00:39:02,213
- Bring Topper along.
802
00:39:02,256 --> 00:39:03,715
We'll go places.
803
00:39:03,758 --> 00:39:05,133
- I don't want to go places.
804
00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:06,384
I've been to places, lots of places.
805
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:07,886
Really, I have.
806
00:39:07,928 --> 00:39:09,429
- Oh, but not with us.
807
00:39:09,472 --> 00:39:11,806
It's different when you go places with us.
808
00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:12,849
- Bring him along, Marion!
809
00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:13,683
We gotta have him.
810
00:39:13,726 --> 00:39:14,642
He's our good deed.
811
00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:16,853
- Come on, Toppy.
812
00:39:21,567 --> 00:39:22,692
You drive, George.
813
00:39:22,735 --> 00:39:23,693
I'll sit in the middle.
814
00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:25,737
Come on, Topper, get in.
815
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:30,158
- Don't you think I better drive?
816
00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:32,452
It'd look so crazy to
other people if you drive.
817
00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:35,997
- Oh now, come on.
Don't be a mess, get in.
818
00:39:41,587 --> 00:39:44,506
- Close your door, Topper.
819
00:40:09,198 --> 00:40:10,115
- Look out!
820
00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:12,700
What's the matter with you?
821
00:40:12,743 --> 00:40:13,952
- There was no one driving that car.
822
00:40:13,994 --> 00:40:14,828
- Oh, you're crazy.
823
00:40:14,870 --> 00:40:15,662
- I'm not crazy.
824
00:40:15,704 --> 00:40:16,621
I know what I saw.
825
00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:17,914
The car was driving itself.
826
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:19,332
- If you ask me, so was this one.
827
00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:20,500
- All right, I'll prove it for you.
828
00:40:20,543 --> 00:40:22,460
- Well, you'll have to!
829
00:40:26,715 --> 00:40:28,007
- I wish you'd stop this nonsense
830
00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:32,345
and let yourselves be
seen, or let me drive.
831
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:33,721
- Okay.
832
00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:37,392
Slide over.
833
00:40:48,821 --> 00:40:51,489
- Now what have you got to say?
834
00:40:51,532 --> 00:40:53,616
- I know when I'm licked.
835
00:40:54,535 --> 00:40:55,952
- Where am I taking you?
836
00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:57,120
- You're not taking us.
837
00:40:57,163 --> 00:40:58,455
We're taking you.
838
00:40:58,497 --> 00:40:59,664
- Marion, it's bad enough just being in
839
00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:01,749
the car with you two the way you are.
840
00:41:01,792 --> 00:41:03,334
Well, the way you aren't.
841
00:41:03,377 --> 00:41:04,711
Where are we going?
842
00:41:04,753 --> 00:41:06,337
- Well, unless you rented it to someone,
843
00:41:06,380 --> 00:41:07,922
we're going to our penthouse.
844
00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:10,341
- Heavens!
No, I haven't rented it.
845
00:41:10,384 --> 00:41:12,260
- And we can have a drink.
846
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,845
- George hasn't had a drink in days.
847
00:41:13,888 --> 00:41:15,638
He looks much better than
he used to, don't you think?
848
00:41:15,681 --> 00:41:17,682
- How in heaven's name should I know?
849
00:41:17,725 --> 00:41:20,101
- Hey, stop pushing.
850
00:41:27,359 --> 00:41:28,693
- Don't push me!
851
00:41:30,070 --> 00:41:31,571
- I didn't push you.
852
00:41:31,614 --> 00:41:33,990
And if I did push you, what of it?
853
00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:35,992
Oh, a wise guy, huh?
854
00:41:36,035 --> 00:41:38,036
Like those crazy Kerbys.
855
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,584
- Crazy Kerbys, huh?
856
00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:46,836
Wise guy, eh?
857
00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:49,464
- I wish you'd do
something about yourselves.
858
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:51,341
You have no idea how
annoying it is to be out
859
00:41:51,383 --> 00:41:52,884
with someone and you
don't know where they are.
860
00:41:52,927 --> 00:41:56,095
- Okay, my friend, anything to oblige.
861
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:04,896
Here we are, Topper.
The Kerby Kennel.
862
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,898
Barking, howling and biting permissible.
863
00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:07,774
Come in.
864
00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:12,695
- Where's Marion?
865
00:42:12,738 --> 00:42:14,239
- Gone to her room, I guess.
You know how women are.
866
00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:15,949
When they get home, they
like to change clothes,
867
00:42:15,991 --> 00:42:18,493
mess around, blither, blither.
868
00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:25,250
You drink?
869
00:42:25,292 --> 00:42:27,502
- I did once, but it wasn't much fun.
870
00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:29,045
Nobody noticed it.
871
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:31,089
It made me dizzy and I
had to keep one eye shut.
872
00:42:31,131 --> 00:42:33,883
- Oh, well, you had the floats.
873
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:35,093
I like 'em.
874
00:42:35,135 --> 00:42:37,387
Make you feel nice and goofy.
875
00:42:37,429 --> 00:42:39,180
- Maybe I do need a drink.
876
00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:41,224
Maybe I've needed a drink all these years
877
00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:42,976
and haven't known it.
878
00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:46,062
There we are, hold it.
879
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:53,528
Topper, my pet.
880
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:54,571
- Thank you.
881
00:42:59,827 --> 00:43:01,911
My wife objects to drinking.
882
00:43:01,954 --> 00:43:02,954
- Then she shouldn't drink.
883
00:43:02,997 --> 00:43:04,872
- She doesn't.
884
00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:06,124
- Then what's her objections?
885
00:43:06,166 --> 00:43:08,626
- If my wife were to
walk in here right now,
886
00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:10,753
I'd have to speak to her very sharply
887
00:43:10,796 --> 00:43:13,298
in order to keep her from making a row.
888
00:43:13,340 --> 00:43:14,757
- Speak to her?
889
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,218
- Yes, I've never beaten her.
890
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:20,179
Not yet, I haven't.
891
00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:22,682
- Oh.
892
00:43:23,851 --> 00:43:25,810
- Open the other bottle.
893
00:43:31,358 --> 00:43:32,942
- Crazy Kerbys, eh?
894
00:43:35,237 --> 00:43:36,070
Plush pup!
895
00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:47,206
(loud snap)
896
00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:00,470
- Thanks, George.
- Mm-hmm.
897
00:44:04,141 --> 00:44:06,434
- Do you feel like dancing?
898
00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:07,852
- Do I feel like what?
899
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:09,729
- Oh, you know what I mean.
900
00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:11,564
Dancing and singing and...
901
00:44:11,607 --> 00:44:12,982
- Say that again.
902
00:44:13,025 --> 00:44:15,777
- Well, George, dancing, singing.
903
00:44:15,819 --> 00:44:17,111
Tra-la-la, tra-la-la
904
00:44:17,154 --> 00:44:18,237
With a hey, nonny-nonny
905
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,198
and a whoo-whoo-whoo...
906
00:44:21,283 --> 00:44:22,492
- Relax, Topper, relax.
907
00:44:22,534 --> 00:44:23,785
Take a drink.
908
00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:25,703
Stop fidgeting.
909
00:44:25,746 --> 00:44:26,579
- Oh.
910
00:44:27,706 --> 00:44:29,332
Do you mind if I just sat here
911
00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:32,293
and sort of sneak a little dance...
912
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,253
with my feet?
913
00:44:36,173 --> 00:44:38,925
- Cut it out.
Cut it out, will ya?
914
00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:44,305
- What if I just sat quietly
here and felt like dancing?
915
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:47,100
That'd be all right, wouldn't it?
916
00:44:49,311 --> 00:44:51,729
- Look, what is this dancing complex?
917
00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:56,401
- Look here, would you mind
if I just got up and danced
918
00:44:56,443 --> 00:44:58,695
a roundabout on my tiptoes?
919
00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:02,490
- All right.
All right, if you must.
920
00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:04,784
Go ahead, but take it easy.
921
00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:12,333
Toppy, I think you got something there.
922
00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:14,711
Hit it.
Truck on down, Toppy.
923
00:45:20,300 --> 00:45:21,551
- Now that's how I dance.
924
00:45:21,593 --> 00:45:22,385
How do you like it?
925
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,846
- Yes, I thought that was pretty bad.
926
00:45:24,888 --> 00:45:27,306
- I'm glad you like my dancing, George.
927
00:45:27,349 --> 00:45:30,017
I think I could learn how
to live after all, you know.
928
00:45:30,060 --> 00:45:31,978
I can drink, all right.
929
00:45:34,606 --> 00:45:36,733
And I can dance fine.
930
00:45:36,775 --> 00:45:38,693
Now, about singing, hmm.
931
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,069
Let's sing a little, huh?
932
00:45:40,112 --> 00:45:41,821
- Yes, that's a good idea.
933
00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:43,239
Let's sing.
934
00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:44,115
- Uh-huh.
935
00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:50,329
- Oh, there she is, George.
936
00:45:50,372 --> 00:45:51,789
- Where?
937
00:45:55,377 --> 00:45:57,962
- Topper, you look like an owl.
938
00:46:00,716 --> 00:46:02,216
- Come here, George.
Huh?
939
00:46:02,259 --> 00:46:03,968
I'm afraid I must ask you to request
940
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:05,303
your wife not to talk about me anymore.
941
00:46:05,345 --> 00:46:06,387
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
942
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:08,014
Use your influence.
943
00:46:08,056 --> 00:46:10,558
If you haven't any, beat her.
944
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:12,018
(laughs)
945
00:46:12,060 --> 00:46:13,978
- Come on down, Marion.
946
00:46:14,897 --> 00:46:15,897
- All right.
947
00:46:17,357 --> 00:46:18,191
- Alley!
948
00:46:19,735 --> 00:46:20,568
- Oop.
949
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:25,156
- Ta-rah
950
00:46:26,533 --> 00:46:28,409
Topper, you did that on purpose.
951
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:29,243
Nice going.
952
00:46:29,286 --> 00:46:30,411
- I'm dreadfully sorry George.
953
00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:32,163
- I forgive you, Topper.
954
00:46:32,206 --> 00:46:34,457
- Nice forgiving too.
955
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:36,042
- Can we dance now?
956
00:46:36,084 --> 00:46:39,128
- Why certainly, that's
what I got off my perch for.
957
00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:43,216
♫ Oh, the moss-covered-
958
00:46:43,258 --> 00:46:46,302
♫ Hangs in the well
959
00:46:46,345 --> 00:46:49,514
- It's a fine thing, trying
to steal my wife, eh?
960
00:46:49,556 --> 00:46:52,016
- Why, I wouldn't think of such a thing,
961
00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:53,351
I don't think.
962
00:46:53,393 --> 00:46:56,562
- Ah, Topper, I'm disappointed in you.
963
00:46:57,439 --> 00:46:58,940
- Say, if I'm in the
way, you folks can leave.
964
00:46:58,982 --> 00:47:00,733
- Oh, not at all.
965
00:47:00,776 --> 00:47:02,652
- Mighty nice of you
to let me stay around.
966
00:47:02,694 --> 00:47:03,778
- What's biting you?
967
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:06,823
You're not getting jealous, are you?
968
00:47:06,865 --> 00:47:09,033
- No, no, just getting careful.
969
00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:11,202
- Say, listen.
- What?
970
00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:13,955
- All I'm trying to do is to
complete our little experiment.
971
00:47:13,997 --> 00:47:15,540
- Yes, well, I don't know if I like it.
972
00:47:15,582 --> 00:47:17,667
- Well, that's too bad.
973
00:47:17,709 --> 00:47:21,379
- Grab a look at your
little experiment now.
974
00:47:24,091 --> 00:47:25,883
- We're really not being very fair to him.
975
00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:28,386
I don't think he knows how to drink.
976
00:47:28,428 --> 00:47:30,012
- But he only had a
couple glasses of wine.
977
00:47:30,055 --> 00:47:32,473
- But I don't think he's
ever had a drink in his life.
978
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:35,351
- Poor Topper.
- Poor Topper.
979
00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:36,811
- Poor Topper.
980
00:47:36,854 --> 00:47:38,479
- You keep out of this.
981
00:47:38,522 --> 00:47:39,438
- Say, George, you know something?
982
00:47:39,481 --> 00:47:40,273
- What?
983
00:47:40,315 --> 00:47:41,691
- I think fate sent him to us.
984
00:47:41,733 --> 00:47:43,067
- I think we ought to send him right back.
985
00:47:43,110 --> 00:47:46,279
- Oh, no, he looks like our
last chance at a good deed.
986
00:47:46,321 --> 00:47:48,030
- That's how he looks to you.
987
00:47:48,073 --> 00:47:49,240
- Well, look at him.
988
00:47:49,283 --> 00:47:52,159
His whole soul is crying
out for self-expression.
989
00:47:52,202 --> 00:47:53,286
- Is that so?
990
00:47:54,496 --> 00:47:55,621
- Is that the way a soul looks when
991
00:47:55,664 --> 00:47:57,206
it's crying out for self-expression?
992
00:47:57,249 --> 00:47:59,083
- Maybe, maybe Topper's soul.
993
00:47:59,126 --> 00:48:01,294
Anyway, all he needs is a
little encouragement from us.
994
00:48:01,336 --> 00:48:03,379
- Yes dear, well if you really
wanna do him a good deed,
995
00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:07,425
get him some bromo while
I go change my clothes.
996
00:48:08,343 --> 00:48:09,176
Hold down the fort, honey,
997
00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:11,637
while I dissolve into a suit.
998
00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:14,891
- George, where is it?
999
00:48:14,933 --> 00:48:16,517
- Huh? Where's what?
1000
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,102
- Where?
1001
00:48:18,145 --> 00:48:19,604
- Where what?
1002
00:48:19,646 --> 00:48:22,231
- The bromo, you know.
1003
00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:24,233
- Well, then give him some.
1004
00:48:24,276 --> 00:48:27,236
- Then he'll just have
to have aspirin instead.
1005
00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:29,405
- Oh, never mind, let it go.
1006
00:48:29,448 --> 00:48:31,532
I'll be down in a minute.
1007
00:48:36,622 --> 00:48:38,956
(Topper moans)
It moved.
1008
00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:40,666
- We're fresh out of bromo.
1009
00:48:40,709 --> 00:48:41,542
- All right then, put on your bonnet.
1010
00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:43,544
We'll go down to the
drugstore and get him some.
1011
00:48:43,587 --> 00:48:44,921
Come on, Topper.
1012
00:48:44,963 --> 00:48:47,089
Easy Topper, mm-hmm.
1013
00:48:47,132 --> 00:48:48,591
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Dear, dear.
1014
00:48:48,634 --> 00:48:50,301
Marion, come and hold him
here while I get my hat.
1015
00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:51,344
- All right.
1016
00:48:54,264 --> 00:48:56,557
Oh, George, quick!
1017
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,726
- Trying to get away, huh?
1018
00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:01,187
Come on, Topper.
1019
00:49:01,229 --> 00:49:03,814
Don't drop him or he'll splash.
1020
00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:11,530
Now, now, Toppy, relax, relax.
1021
00:49:11,573 --> 00:49:12,657
Take it easy.
1022
00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:16,869
Oop!
There he goes again.
1023
00:49:16,912 --> 00:49:18,412
Upsa-daisy, Toppy.
1024
00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:21,123
- Say, George.
1025
00:49:21,166 --> 00:49:22,667
We can't go down the lobby like this.
1026
00:49:22,709 --> 00:49:24,752
We'll cause a riot.
Fade.
1027
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,129
- Okay.
Don't teeter, Topper.
1028
00:49:50,028 --> 00:49:53,948
(whimsical instrumental music)
1029
00:50:10,799 --> 00:50:11,590
- For heaven's sake!
1030
00:50:11,633 --> 00:50:13,300
What's the matter with that man?
1031
00:50:13,343 --> 00:50:16,012
- Why- Why- Why doesn't he fall?
1032
00:50:21,810 --> 00:50:23,853
- What's the idea of stealing my elevator?
1033
00:50:23,895 --> 00:50:26,647
- We haven't got your elevator, silly.
1034
00:50:26,690 --> 00:50:27,523
- Huh?
1035
00:50:27,566 --> 00:50:29,233
- I never wear them.
1036
00:50:31,945 --> 00:50:33,529
- What do you mean by insulting a guest?
1037
00:50:33,572 --> 00:50:34,905
- Well, he was...
1038
00:50:34,948 --> 00:50:36,198
- You're fired!
1039
00:50:54,634 --> 00:50:56,385
- Thank you, Toppy.
1040
00:50:56,428 --> 00:51:00,598
- I've got a beehive in my
stomach, but don't mention it.
1041
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:01,599
- There's the bud now.
1042
00:51:01,641 --> 00:51:02,558
Ask him what make she is.
1043
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:03,768
- Yeah, she's a beaut.
1044
00:51:03,810 --> 00:51:05,811
- So that's the babe
you've been talking about.
1045
00:51:05,854 --> 00:51:07,646
- Boy, for my go, she'd
be a cinch to handle.
1046
00:51:07,689 --> 00:51:09,899
- No gentlemen would talk
about a lady like that,
1047
00:51:09,941 --> 00:51:12,234
and I demand an apology.
1048
00:51:12,277 --> 00:51:14,278
You gonna, apologize?
1049
00:51:14,321 --> 00:51:16,280
- Ah, you're daffy.
1050
00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:17,114
- Why, you!
1051
00:51:17,157 --> 00:51:21,160
(loud clamoring and chattering)
1052
00:51:43,141 --> 00:51:46,519
(distant sirens wailing)
1053
00:51:46,561 --> 00:51:48,813
- Hey, there's the little creep now!
1054
00:51:48,855 --> 00:51:50,022
Let's get him!
1055
00:52:00,659 --> 00:52:01,659
- What's going on here?
1056
00:52:01,701 --> 00:52:03,035
(everyone talking)
1057
00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:03,911
One at a time.
1058
00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:05,121
One at a time!
1059
00:52:06,289 --> 00:52:07,414
Now, who hit who?
1060
00:52:07,457 --> 00:52:08,332
- He hit us!
1061
00:52:08,375 --> 00:52:09,458
- Oh, he hit us?
1062
00:52:09,501 --> 00:52:10,292
- Yeah!
1063
00:52:10,335 --> 00:52:11,961
- One man attacking the whole gang?
1064
00:52:12,003 --> 00:52:13,671
- Well he started it, but
the other two helped him.
1065
00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:15,005
- What other two?
Where are they?
1066
00:52:15,048 --> 00:52:15,965
- In there.
1067
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:19,426
- Now don't try to be funny!
1068
00:52:19,469 --> 00:52:20,386
You, what happened?
1069
00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:21,220
- Well that's right, Officer.
1070
00:52:21,263 --> 00:52:23,139
He started it, then his
two friends jumped in.
1071
00:52:23,181 --> 00:52:25,349
- What two friends?
Where are they?
1072
00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:27,017
- They got in there.
1073
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:29,520
- Then the other two jumped out of the car
1074
00:52:29,563 --> 00:52:30,646
and started slugging me from behind!
1075
00:52:30,689 --> 00:52:33,816
- Hold on now, wait a minute!
1076
00:52:33,859 --> 00:52:35,651
Now then, what other two?
1077
00:52:35,694 --> 00:52:37,778
- Holy cats!
They're gone!
1078
00:52:37,821 --> 00:52:39,029
(chattering)
1079
00:52:39,072 --> 00:52:41,282
- All right, all right!
1080
00:52:41,324 --> 00:52:44,702
Now look, mister, maybe you
can tell me what happened.
1081
00:52:44,744 --> 00:52:45,744
- Me?
- Yeah.
1082
00:52:46,663 --> 00:52:47,913
- I wanna sing.
1083
00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:51,625
- This one wants to sing.
1084
00:52:51,668 --> 00:52:52,585
All right, Danny.
1085
00:52:52,627 --> 00:52:55,212
Come on, let's take 'em all in.
1086
00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:57,590
- Sit down there.
1087
00:53:02,262 --> 00:53:04,346
- People v. Cosmo Topper.
1088
00:53:05,974 --> 00:53:07,766
- Say, were you guys in
the same fight with him?
1089
00:53:07,809 --> 00:53:08,726
- I'll say we were.
1090
00:53:08,768 --> 00:53:09,560
Who is he?
1091
00:53:09,603 --> 00:53:11,896
- He's a big-shot banker from Wall Street.
1092
00:53:11,938 --> 00:53:12,730
- What'd he do?
1093
00:53:12,772 --> 00:53:15,482
- For no reason, he hangs a
haymaker on Eddie's kisser.
1094
00:53:15,525 --> 00:53:17,234
- You're charged of being
drunk and disorderly,
1095
00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:18,819
attacking a peaceful citizen,
1096
00:53:18,862 --> 00:53:20,487
and inciting a riot.
1097
00:53:20,530 --> 00:53:23,616
- I'll tidy you up a little.
1098
00:53:31,374 --> 00:53:33,667
Brush him off, George,
while I fix his hanky.
1099
00:53:33,710 --> 00:53:35,044
- Okay.
1100
00:53:48,308 --> 00:53:50,351
- There are four serious-
1101
00:53:56,691 --> 00:53:59,693
- Just a nervous eccentricity, Your Honor.
1102
00:53:59,736 --> 00:54:02,321
It sometimes gets the better of me.
1103
00:54:02,364 --> 00:54:04,323
(clears throat)
1104
00:54:04,366 --> 00:54:07,409
- There are four serious
charges here, Mr. Topper.
1105
00:54:07,452 --> 00:54:10,663
I presume you wish to plead not guilty
1106
00:54:10,705 --> 00:54:13,040
and tell your side of the story.
1107
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:14,166
- On the contrary, Your Honor,
1108
00:54:14,209 --> 00:54:17,127
I wish to plead guilty
and get it over with.
1109
00:54:17,170 --> 00:54:20,214
- Well, in that case, you
leave me no alternative
1110
00:54:20,257 --> 00:54:22,258
except to fine you $100.
1111
00:54:22,300 --> 00:54:24,426
- Why, that's outrageous!
1112
00:54:24,469 --> 00:54:26,303
- What's that?
1113
00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:28,722
- I- I said, where do you pay us?
1114
00:54:28,765 --> 00:54:30,933
I mean, where do you pay it?
1115
00:54:30,976 --> 00:54:32,351
- Right there.
1116
00:54:32,394 --> 00:54:33,227
Next case.
1117
00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:36,230
- But the dame, wow!
1118
00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:37,064
- A dame?
1119
00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:37,898
What did she look like?
1120
00:54:37,941 --> 00:54:38,732
Who is she?
1121
00:54:38,775 --> 00:54:40,317
- We don't know, a burlesque
queen or something.
1122
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,279
- Swell-lookin' doll, but plenty tough.
1123
00:54:43,321 --> 00:54:44,989
- Next case.
1124
00:54:45,031 --> 00:54:46,323
- All right, boys, out of the way.
1125
00:54:46,366 --> 00:54:49,201
(loud chattering)
1126
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:13,726
- Is everything all right, Wilkins?
1127
00:55:13,768 --> 00:55:16,061
- I should say, sir,
though it's not my place,
1128
00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:18,188
that everything is quite all wrong.
1129
00:55:18,231 --> 00:55:19,940
In fact, I might even go so far as to add
1130
00:55:19,983 --> 00:55:23,027
that you have become a
legend before your time.
1131
00:55:23,069 --> 00:55:25,654
- Has Mrs. Topper heard about last night?
1132
00:55:25,697 --> 00:55:29,366
- Mrs. Topper, sir, has
read about last night.
1133
00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:30,492
It's four minutes past 8:00.
1134
00:55:30,535 --> 00:55:33,037
- I know, I know.
We dress now.
1135
00:55:35,248 --> 00:55:39,084
(dramatic instrumental music)
1136
00:55:43,506 --> 00:55:44,673
Good morning, dear.
1137
00:55:44,716 --> 00:55:46,550
- Good morning, Cosmo.
1138
00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:53,098
- I'm late.
1139
00:55:58,146 --> 00:55:59,480
- Your egg, sir.
1140
00:55:59,522 --> 00:56:00,356
- Oh.
1141
00:56:12,827 --> 00:56:14,328
- Your toast, sir.
1142
00:56:34,265 --> 00:56:36,308
- Well, I- I mean, go on.
1143
00:56:37,352 --> 00:56:38,852
Let's get it over.
1144
00:56:40,563 --> 00:56:43,649
- Cosmo, I've been a good wife to you.
1145
00:56:43,691 --> 00:56:46,360
I've helped you climb to the
top in the business world,
1146
00:56:46,403 --> 00:56:49,363
and I certainly raised you socially.
1147
00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:51,782
I married you for better or for worse.
1148
00:56:51,825 --> 00:56:54,576
And if you see fit to drag
yourself and me in the gutter.
1149
00:56:54,619 --> 00:56:56,370
- Oh, Clara, please.
1150
00:56:56,413 --> 00:56:58,288
- Of course, you realize
we'll have to face the world
1151
00:56:58,331 --> 00:56:59,790
without any friends.
1152
00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:01,333
No one with any self-respect
1153
00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:03,919
will ever cross our threshold again.
1154
00:57:03,962 --> 00:57:08,340
And you had to pick this
particular time too.
1155
00:57:08,383 --> 00:57:11,552
- Well, I- I don't understand
just what you mean...
1156
00:57:11,594 --> 00:57:14,054
about this particular time.
1157
00:57:14,097 --> 00:57:17,391
- I had every good reason to
believe that the Stuyvesants...
1158
00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:20,310
were going to ask us to
their next big party.
1159
00:57:20,353 --> 00:57:22,354
- The Stuyvesants.
Oh, of course, yeah.
1160
00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:24,940
Yes, I know you wanted to
be asked there for years.
1161
00:57:24,983 --> 00:57:27,109
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1162
00:57:27,152 --> 00:57:28,694
- Don't be sorry, Cosmo.
1163
00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:30,487
What's done is done.
1164
00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:33,240
And I will do my part to
save what little I can from
1165
00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:36,660
the wreck you've made of our lives.
1166
00:57:36,703 --> 00:57:38,370
- 8:42, sir.
1167
00:57:38,413 --> 00:57:39,580
- Oh so it is.
1168
00:57:43,751 --> 00:57:47,754
(fast-paced instrumental music)
1169
00:57:50,258 --> 00:57:54,428
(door slams)
(cries)
1170
00:57:59,017 --> 00:58:00,184
- Yes, madam?
1171
00:58:00,226 --> 00:58:01,435
- Is Mrs. Topper home?
1172
00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:02,811
- Who shall I say is calling please?
1173
00:58:02,854 --> 00:58:04,480
- Mrs. Rutherford-Stuyvesant.
1174
00:58:04,522 --> 00:58:06,106
- Mrs. Ruther-
1175
00:58:06,149 --> 00:58:08,317
Mrs. Rutherford-Stuyvesant?
1176
00:58:08,359 --> 00:58:09,943
Oh, come in, madam.
1177
00:58:15,783 --> 00:58:17,951
Mrs. Rutherford-Stuyvesant calling, madam.
1178
00:58:17,994 --> 00:58:20,412
- Mrs. Rutherford-Stuyvesant.
1179
00:58:21,998 --> 00:58:24,500
Mrs. Rutherford-Stuyvesant!
1180
00:58:24,542 --> 00:58:27,961
Oh, good gracious, Wilkins,
you must be mistaken.
1181
00:58:28,004 --> 00:58:29,796
- No, madam. Shall I...
1182
00:58:29,839 --> 00:58:31,423
Oh, yes, of course.
1183
00:58:35,178 --> 00:58:37,596
- Mrs. Rutherford-Stuyvesant.
1184
00:58:39,015 --> 00:58:41,475
- Well, so you're Mrs. Topper.
1185
00:58:42,435 --> 00:58:44,019
I just dropped in to ask you
1186
00:58:44,062 --> 00:58:46,522
and that delicious husband
of yours to come to dinner
1187
00:58:46,564 --> 00:58:49,233
next Friday night before our little dance.
1188
00:58:49,275 --> 00:58:50,776
- Why, we-
Why, I-
1189
00:58:52,070 --> 00:58:53,695
- Oh, I do owe you an apology.
1190
00:58:53,738 --> 00:58:55,781
I should have called on you years ago,
1191
00:58:55,823 --> 00:58:57,783
but I didn't know
whether you would approve
1192
00:58:57,825 --> 00:58:59,493
of our little crowd.
1193
00:58:59,536 --> 00:59:01,745
- Approve?
Oh, my dear.
1194
00:59:01,788 --> 00:59:03,413
- Well, you see, I
understood you like to lead
1195
00:59:03,456 --> 00:59:05,749
a quiet, simple life.
1196
00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:09,711
But after reading about Mr.
Topper's delightful escapade--
1197
00:59:09,754 --> 00:59:12,589
- Mrs. Goodrich and Mrs. Simpkins.
1198
00:59:12,632 --> 00:59:13,465
- Well.
1199
00:59:14,634 --> 00:59:15,634
Hello, Grace.
1200
00:59:15,677 --> 00:59:17,719
I saw your car outside and
thought I'd just pop in.
1201
00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:19,763
- We've been so anxious
to meet you Mrs. Topper.
1202
00:59:19,806 --> 00:59:21,598
I'm sure we must have
a great deal in common.
1203
00:59:21,641 --> 00:59:22,683
- Thank you.
I'm sure.
1204
00:59:22,725 --> 00:59:23,559
- How do you do?
1205
00:59:23,601 --> 00:59:26,186
What a divine life our
Mrs. Topper must live.
1206
00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:27,854
She must have a thrill a minute.
1207
00:59:27,897 --> 00:59:32,067
Living with Mr. Topper must
be like dancing on dynamite.
1208
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:38,448
- My goodness, that's not
a very good picture of him.
1209
00:59:38,491 --> 00:59:40,617
- Well, bless my blond heart.
1210
00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:42,619
I never expected Mousy to break out
1211
00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:44,997
in this kind of a heat wave.
1212
00:59:48,084 --> 00:59:50,669
- Could I borrow your lipstick?
1213
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,299
- Sure.
1214
00:59:55,341 --> 00:59:56,341
- Thank you.
1215
00:59:58,219 --> 00:59:59,595
- Oh.
1216
00:59:59,637 --> 01:00:01,305
Dreaming it up, huh?
1217
01:00:08,396 --> 01:00:10,397
- Good morning, Mr. Topper.
1218
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:11,690
Beautiful day, isn't it?
1219
01:00:11,733 --> 01:00:12,524
- No.
1220
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:13,984
Uh, yes, I meant.
1221
01:00:16,112 --> 01:00:17,571
- Good morning, Mr. Topper.
1222
01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:18,864
- Good morning.
1223
01:00:20,908 --> 01:00:22,451
- Good morning!
1224
01:00:22,493 --> 01:00:23,827
- Good morning.
1225
01:00:23,870 --> 01:00:26,246
- Well, good morning, Mr. Topper.
1226
01:00:26,289 --> 01:00:27,539
- Good morning.
1227
01:00:54,525 --> 01:00:55,692
What's the matter with you, Miss Johnson?
1228
01:00:55,735 --> 01:00:57,569
Stop gaping at me.
1229
01:00:57,612 --> 01:01:00,364
I'm not a monster, in spite of the papers.
1230
01:01:00,406 --> 01:01:01,198
What's the matter with everybody?
1231
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:03,992
Respectable bankers like
J.D., who oughta frown on me,
1232
01:01:04,035 --> 01:01:07,079
slapped me on the back and
asked me if she has a friend.
1233
01:01:07,121 --> 01:01:09,414
I- I can't understand it.
1234
01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,291
Take a letter, please.
1235
01:01:12,418 --> 01:01:14,920
Mr. Wilson P. Hemmingway,
Buffalo, New York.
1236
01:01:14,962 --> 01:01:15,796
Dear sir,
1237
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:18,548
Your collateral is satisfactory,
1238
01:01:18,591 --> 01:01:19,925
and this corporation is prepared
1239
01:01:19,967 --> 01:01:23,553
to finance your proposition 100%.
1240
01:01:23,596 --> 01:01:25,055
It will of course be necessary for
1241
01:01:25,098 --> 01:01:28,100
you to deposit the bonds with us.
1242
01:01:28,142 --> 01:01:30,143
(gasps)
1243
01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:35,565
Stop goggling, Miss Johnson.
1244
01:01:35,608 --> 01:01:36,441
To resume.
1245
01:01:40,947 --> 01:01:42,781
I would suggest that you come to New York
1246
01:01:42,824 --> 01:01:44,533
at your earliest convenience.
1247
01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:46,576
(gasps)
1248
01:01:47,620 --> 01:01:49,204
Really, Miss Johnson.
1249
01:01:49,247 --> 01:01:50,372
You seem to be staring at my hat
1250
01:01:50,415 --> 01:01:51,331
as though you thought there was something
1251
01:01:51,374 --> 01:01:53,333
dreadful the matter with it.
1252
01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:54,459
- I do.
1253
01:01:54,502 --> 01:01:55,377
- Yes, well, then I think perhaps
1254
01:01:55,420 --> 01:01:57,337
you better take the day off...
1255
01:01:57,380 --> 01:02:00,882
and do whatever you do on your day off.
1256
01:02:01,759 --> 01:02:04,344
- Perhaps I'd better had.
- Yes.
1257
01:02:13,813 --> 01:02:15,397
All right, George, you win.
1258
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:19,317
But I do think you might show
a little respect for the bank.
1259
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:20,527
Don't push me!
1260
01:02:23,239 --> 01:02:24,406
Where are you?
1261
01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:28,326
(loud bang)
1262
01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:30,954
- Marion wants a soda.
1263
01:02:32,749 --> 01:02:34,791
- Oh.
So it's you, Marion.
1264
01:02:34,834 --> 01:02:37,043
After all the things you've done to me,
1265
01:02:37,086 --> 01:02:38,253
you want me to buy you a soda?
1266
01:02:38,296 --> 01:02:39,463
- Mm-hmm.
A chocolate one.
1267
01:02:39,505 --> 01:02:41,798
- Don't you understand that
this is my private office?
1268
01:02:41,841 --> 01:02:43,800
- But all I want is a chocolate soda
1269
01:02:43,843 --> 01:02:45,260
with some vanilla ice cream in it.
1270
01:02:45,303 --> 01:02:46,595
- Why doesn't George buy you one?
1271
01:02:46,637 --> 01:02:47,846
- 'Cause he's wandered off.
1272
01:02:47,889 --> 01:02:49,431
Besides, he doesn't like sodas.
1273
01:02:49,474 --> 01:02:51,516
And, Toppy, I'm lonely anyway.
1274
01:02:51,559 --> 01:02:53,435
- Haven't you any friends?
1275
01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:55,437
None that I like as well as you.
1276
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,647
(squeals)
1277
01:03:00,526 --> 01:03:02,861
- Don't you do that again, ever!
1278
01:03:02,904 --> 01:03:04,029
Supposing George were watching us.
1279
01:03:04,071 --> 01:03:04,863
- But he isn't.
1280
01:03:04,906 --> 01:03:05,697
- Well, how do I know he's not?
1281
01:03:05,740 --> 01:03:07,115
- You'll just have to take my word for it.
1282
01:03:07,158 --> 01:03:09,242
Now stop being difficult.
Come on.
1283
01:03:09,285 --> 01:03:10,911
Here's your hat and here's your stick.
1284
01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:12,287
Here are your gloves.
1285
01:03:12,330 --> 01:03:13,497
Marion wants a nice--
- I know.
1286
01:03:13,539 --> 01:03:16,374
You want a chocolate soda
with vanilla ice cream.
1287
01:03:16,417 --> 01:03:17,334
- Mm-hmm.
Do I get it?
1288
01:03:17,376 --> 01:03:18,710
- Not for a million dollars.
1289
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:20,420
- Oh, so you're gonna be mean?
1290
01:03:20,463 --> 01:03:21,546
All right.
1291
01:03:21,589 --> 01:03:23,048
I can be just as stubborn as you are.
1292
01:03:23,090 --> 01:03:24,216
I won't budge from here.
1293
01:03:24,258 --> 01:03:26,426
I know what I'll do.
I'll- I'll scream.
1294
01:03:26,469 --> 01:03:27,260
- You wouldn't dare.
1295
01:03:27,303 --> 01:03:29,429
- Oh, wouldn't I, though?
1296
01:03:29,472 --> 01:03:30,806
Help!
- Oh stop it!
1297
01:03:30,848 --> 01:03:32,349
Marion, I'll do anything
you like, but don't do that.
1298
01:03:32,391 --> 01:03:33,725
- All right then, come on.
1299
01:03:33,768 --> 01:03:35,310
- Shut that door.
1300
01:03:35,353 --> 01:03:36,144
You can't go out like that.
1301
01:03:36,187 --> 01:03:37,979
What will the people in the office think?
1302
01:03:38,022 --> 01:03:41,107
- Well, supposing I go out like this?
1303
01:03:43,277 --> 01:03:44,861
- All right, go on.
1304
01:04:04,507 --> 01:04:08,176
- Why, shame on you,
biting little children.
1305
01:04:14,767 --> 01:04:17,185
- What's going on here?
1306
01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:26,820
- Oh, I wanna stop here.
1307
01:04:29,282 --> 01:04:30,657
- Don't do that, Marion.
1308
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:32,534
You nearly wrecked us.
1309
01:04:33,828 --> 01:04:35,745
- I'll be out before you
can say Jack Robinson.
1310
01:04:35,788 --> 01:04:37,747
Only don't say it for a few minutes.
1311
01:04:37,790 --> 01:04:40,000
- Don't talk, someone will hear you.
1312
01:04:40,042 --> 01:04:41,418
- Don't look now, Toppy,
1313
01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:43,169
but there's some lip rouge on your cheek.
1314
01:04:43,212 --> 01:04:44,045
- Huh?
1315
01:04:46,007 --> 01:04:47,757
- This is delightful.
1316
01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:55,682
(women screaming)
1317
01:04:59,604 --> 01:05:02,522
(women chattering)
1318
01:05:05,568 --> 01:05:09,237
- You wait here and
I'll go and investigate.
1319
01:05:12,241 --> 01:05:14,409
Marion, wh-what are you up to now?
1320
01:05:14,452 --> 01:05:15,827
- Here I am, Toppy.
1321
01:05:15,870 --> 01:05:16,703
- Oh!
1322
01:05:21,083 --> 01:05:22,417
Marion, you-you promised to be good,
1323
01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:24,127
and now look at you.
1324
01:05:28,716 --> 01:05:32,469
- Don't you dare go away without me.
1325
01:05:33,679 --> 01:05:35,555
- Well I didn't see anything unusual, no.
1326
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:36,556
- Well, maybe it was the wind.
1327
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:38,308
- Maybe you're right.
1328
01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:06,461
- Cosmo?
1329
01:06:09,090 --> 01:06:10,674
Come right in here.
1330
01:06:15,888 --> 01:06:18,014
For heaven's sake, what are you doing home
1331
01:06:18,057 --> 01:06:19,391
at this time of day?
1332
01:06:19,433 --> 01:06:20,266
- I ran away.
1333
01:06:20,309 --> 01:06:23,436
I mean, I thought it would be nice to feel
1334
01:06:23,479 --> 01:06:27,649
how it would be to be here
during the daytime, you know.
1335
01:06:29,694 --> 01:06:31,695
- I really can't understand these women.
1336
01:06:31,737 --> 01:06:33,196
They-
- But, really.
1337
01:06:33,239 --> 01:06:35,865
- But women like Mrs.
Stuyvesant and Mrs. Goodrich.
1338
01:06:35,908 --> 01:06:37,033
Never before have they--
1339
01:06:37,076 --> 01:06:39,285
- You can forget it if you wanted to.
1340
01:06:39,328 --> 01:06:41,037
And if you really cared for me,
1341
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,623
there are a whole lot of
things you could forget about.
1342
01:06:43,666 --> 01:06:45,208
- Forget?
What do you mean, forget?
1343
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,877
- Well, I know that the
newspaper said awful things
1344
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:51,965
about me, but you know, I'm
not that sort of a man, really.
1345
01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:55,343
I'm- I'm just an old faithful dog.
1346
01:06:55,386 --> 01:06:56,302
That's all.
1347
01:07:00,266 --> 01:07:01,057
Uh-oh.
1348
01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:03,852
- Old faithful dog?
1349
01:07:04,687 --> 01:07:06,438
Cosmo, I can't stand
here and let you flaunt
1350
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:07,897
your infidelity in my face.
1351
01:07:07,940 --> 01:07:08,732
- But, Clara
- Don't speak.
1352
01:07:08,774 --> 01:07:09,733
Don't try to explain.
1353
01:07:09,775 --> 01:07:11,192
It's all perfectly clear.
1354
01:07:11,235 --> 01:07:14,362
- But-But-But I bought
them for you as a surprise.
1355
01:07:14,405 --> 01:07:16,281
- A surprise?
It's a shock!
1356
01:07:16,323 --> 01:07:19,909
No one but a horrid woman
would wear a thing like this.
1357
01:07:19,952 --> 01:07:20,785
Oh, Cosmo!
1358
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:39,471
(Clara crying)
1359
01:07:41,599 --> 01:07:45,143
- Clara, I'm so terribly
sorry about those-
1360
01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:47,520
about those things.
1361
01:07:47,563 --> 01:07:50,940
I- please let me in, darling, won't you?
1362
01:07:50,983 --> 01:07:53,818
- Go away.
Go away, wicked old man.
1363
01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:13,171
- I beg your pardon,
sir, but are we packing?
1364
01:08:13,214 --> 01:08:14,380
- I'm packing.
1365
01:08:26,602 --> 01:08:29,312
- Are we going away, sir?
1366
01:08:29,355 --> 01:08:30,772
- I'm going away.
1367
01:08:32,483 --> 01:08:35,235
Can't you even look like a human being?
1368
01:08:35,277 --> 01:08:36,444
- I don't know, sir.
I've never tried.
1369
01:08:36,487 --> 01:08:38,071
- Well, you'd better try.
1370
01:08:38,114 --> 01:08:39,864
- Now, sir?
- Why not?
1371
01:08:43,577 --> 01:08:46,162
No, better go back to
the old way, I think.
1372
01:08:46,205 --> 01:08:47,539
- Yes, sir.
1373
01:08:47,581 --> 01:08:49,374
And when shall I say you'll be back, sir?
1374
01:08:49,416 --> 01:08:51,042
- Say I don't know.
I don't know where I'm going.
1375
01:08:51,085 --> 01:08:52,627
I don't know where I am.
1376
01:08:52,670 --> 01:08:53,586
I don't know anything.
1377
01:08:53,629 --> 01:08:57,799
Say anything that pops
into your fat, stupid head.
1378
01:09:03,139 --> 01:09:05,223
- And lo, the worm turns.
1379
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:07,433
Ah, well.
1380
01:09:08,602 --> 01:09:10,645
I thought perhaps a cup of tea would help.
1381
01:09:10,688 --> 01:09:12,564
- That's very kind of you.
1382
01:09:12,606 --> 01:09:14,149
I don't want any tea, Wilkins.
1383
01:09:14,191 --> 01:09:16,317
And I won't be down for dinner.
1384
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:20,029
I- I couldn't bear the
thought of facing him.
1385
01:09:20,072 --> 01:09:22,031
- That won't be necessary, madam.
1386
01:09:22,074 --> 01:09:24,409
Mr. Topper has gone.
1387
01:09:24,451 --> 01:09:26,494
- Gone?
Gone where?
1388
01:09:26,537 --> 01:09:27,662
- He didn't know.
1389
01:09:27,705 --> 01:09:28,580
- He didn't know?
1390
01:09:28,622 --> 01:09:29,622
But that's ridiculous.
1391
01:09:29,665 --> 01:09:31,958
Nobody can go away and not
know where they've gone.
1392
01:09:32,001 --> 01:09:32,917
Nobody can.
1393
01:09:34,044 --> 01:09:38,006
Wilkins, after all these years,
are you trying to be funny?
1394
01:09:38,048 --> 01:09:39,716
- No, madam.
1395
01:09:39,758 --> 01:09:43,928
Mr. Topper went with a
suitcase in the contraption.
1396
01:09:51,312 --> 01:09:52,562
- He's left me.
1397
01:09:54,148 --> 01:09:56,482
I'll never see him again.
1398
01:09:56,525 --> 01:09:58,067
- Oh, no, madam.
1399
01:09:58,110 --> 01:09:59,819
He'll come back.
1400
01:09:59,862 --> 01:10:02,238
If you'll pardon the liberty,
madam, he'll come back
1401
01:10:02,281 --> 01:10:03,656
just to find out whether you've missed him
1402
01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:05,450
or not whilst he was away.
1403
01:10:05,492 --> 01:10:07,035
They always do.
1404
01:10:07,077 --> 01:10:08,953
- Of course I'll miss him.
1405
01:10:08,996 --> 01:10:11,331
- But he mustn't know that, madam.
1406
01:10:11,373 --> 01:10:12,332
- What difference does it make?
1407
01:10:12,374 --> 01:10:14,209
Even if he does come back,
1408
01:10:14,251 --> 01:10:16,920
I can never hope to hold him.
1409
01:10:16,962 --> 01:10:18,046
That woman...
1410
01:10:19,131 --> 01:10:20,548
He doesn't want me anymore.
1411
01:10:20,591 --> 01:10:22,175
He- He wants these.
1412
01:10:23,761 --> 01:10:25,595
- Did you say he wanted those, madam?
1413
01:10:25,638 --> 01:10:27,597
- Yes, I-I did.
1414
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:30,183
- Then why not let him have them?
1415
01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:32,143
- I don't mean just these things.
1416
01:10:32,186 --> 01:10:33,353
I mean-
1417
01:10:33,395 --> 01:10:34,479
Oh, Wilkins.
1418
01:10:34,521 --> 01:10:37,649
He's mad about the sort of creature who-
1419
01:10:37,691 --> 01:10:40,610
the sort of woman who wears these things.
1420
01:10:40,653 --> 01:10:43,696
- But, my dear, dear
madam, might I suggest that
1421
01:10:43,739 --> 01:10:45,573
you could so easily be the alluring
1422
01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:48,117
sort of woman who wears those?
1423
01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:49,077
Oh, confound it, madam.
1424
01:10:49,119 --> 01:10:52,872
I still say if he wants the
pants, let him have them.
1425
01:10:52,915 --> 01:10:54,082
- Oh! Wilkins!
1426
01:10:56,168 --> 01:10:57,252
How dare you!
1427
01:11:00,714 --> 01:11:01,547
Wilkins?
1428
01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:09,973
- Have a bite, Toppy.
1429
01:11:10,015 --> 01:11:10,807
- Marion!
1430
01:11:13,352 --> 01:11:16,020
- That's for running away from me.
1431
01:11:16,063 --> 01:11:17,146
- I'm mad at you.
1432
01:11:17,189 --> 01:11:18,273
- Well, why don't you go away?
1433
01:11:18,315 --> 01:11:19,232
Leave me alone.
1434
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,900
- Oh, I'm not that mad.
1435
01:11:20,943 --> 01:11:22,277
But I ask you, do you
think it was very nice
1436
01:11:22,319 --> 01:11:23,987
to run away from me?
1437
01:11:24,863 --> 01:11:25,989
- Oh, don't let's talk about it anymore.
1438
01:11:26,031 --> 01:11:26,823
I've had enough of it.
1439
01:11:26,865 --> 01:11:28,658
I've had enough of everything.
1440
01:11:28,701 --> 01:11:31,703
- Oh, Toppy, don't be mad at me.
1441
01:11:31,745 --> 01:11:33,121
Where are we going?
- I don't know.
1442
01:11:33,163 --> 01:11:33,955
I've left home.
1443
01:11:33,998 --> 01:11:35,873
Doesn't matter where I go.
1444
01:11:35,916 --> 01:11:37,875
- Oh, then I'll tell you what let's do.
1445
01:11:37,918 --> 01:11:39,210
Let's go to the Sea Breeze Hotel.
1446
01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:40,044
It's right on this road.
1447
01:11:40,087 --> 01:11:42,213
- Is it?
- Mm-hmm.
1448
01:11:42,256 --> 01:11:44,173
We can swim and play
and dance every night.
1449
01:11:44,216 --> 01:11:45,466
There's a wonderful orchestra there.
1450
01:11:45,509 --> 01:11:46,968
Oh, it'll be fun.
1451
01:11:47,011 --> 01:11:49,637
- Swim and play and dance every night, eh?
1452
01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:51,055
I bet it would-
1453
01:11:51,098 --> 01:11:52,473
What am I talking about?
1454
01:11:52,516 --> 01:11:53,308
I'm a married man.
1455
01:11:53,350 --> 01:11:54,767
I can't go gallivanting off with a--
1456
01:11:54,810 --> 01:11:57,228
- Oh, Toppy, you'll be fine.
1457
01:11:57,271 --> 01:11:58,938
- Well, we won't go.
1458
01:12:04,987 --> 01:12:07,113
Look here, Marion, if you're
here I'm gonna be very angry.
1459
01:12:07,156 --> 01:12:08,823
In fact, I am angry now.
1460
01:12:08,866 --> 01:12:10,658
I won't have you
upsetting me all the time.
1461
01:12:10,701 --> 01:12:11,909
- Of course I'm here.
1462
01:12:11,952 --> 01:12:15,204
You didn't suppose I'd
leave my Toppy, did you?
1463
01:12:15,247 --> 01:12:18,082
Be careful.
Here comes the bellboy.
1464
01:12:27,426 --> 01:12:29,427
Take this bag, will you?
1465
01:12:34,683 --> 01:12:37,477
Why are you staring at me
like-like-like something?
1466
01:12:37,519 --> 01:12:38,936
I don't know.
1467
01:12:38,979 --> 01:12:41,356
- Aren't you the guy
that cost me my last job?
1468
01:12:41,398 --> 01:12:44,233
- Never saw you before in my life.
1469
01:12:54,661 --> 01:12:58,498
- Hey, did you notice
something funny about that guy?
1470
01:12:58,540 --> 01:12:59,540
- That guy ain't funny.
1471
01:12:59,583 --> 01:13:01,084
He ain't even human.
1472
01:13:01,126 --> 01:13:03,795
- Then I'll take charge of this.
1473
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:11,552
- Call for Miss White, please.
1474
01:13:11,595 --> 01:13:13,721
Calling Miss White.
1475
01:13:13,764 --> 01:13:15,098
- How do you do?
1476
01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:25,274
- We have a nice room on the third floor.
1477
01:13:25,317 --> 01:13:26,442
- Third floor, that'll do very nice,
1478
01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:28,152
I'll take any floor.
1479
01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:31,906
- Take this gentleman to 314.
1480
01:13:31,949 --> 01:13:33,533
- Yes sir.
This way.
1481
01:13:49,091 --> 01:13:51,134
- Did you see what I saw?
1482
01:13:51,176 --> 01:13:53,428
- Did I see what, Sherlock?
1483
01:14:00,894 --> 01:14:01,727
- Nothin'.
1484
01:14:18,495 --> 01:14:20,997
- Are you always this anxious
at getting a hotel room?
1485
01:14:21,039 --> 01:14:22,165
- I have a reason for being anxious
1486
01:14:22,207 --> 01:14:23,749
to get into this room in a hurry.
1487
01:14:23,792 --> 01:14:27,128
- Well, I have a reason to get
out of this room in a hurry.
1488
01:14:27,171 --> 01:14:28,963
Come on, let me out.
- Go on.
1489
01:14:29,006 --> 01:14:30,923
- Here.
- Wait a minute.
1490
01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:36,262
Here, go on, get out.
I wanna shut the door.
1491
01:14:47,107 --> 01:14:49,108
- What's wrong with you?
1492
01:14:49,151 --> 01:14:51,694
- Between you and that guy in 314,
1493
01:14:51,737 --> 01:14:54,238
you'll excuse me if I go nuts.
1494
01:15:14,301 --> 01:15:15,885
- Marion.
1495
01:15:15,928 --> 01:15:18,471
Marion, oh, I do hope it isn't you.
1496
01:15:18,514 --> 01:15:19,305
- What did you say?
1497
01:15:19,348 --> 01:15:21,557
I can't hear with this water running.
1498
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:24,393
- I said come out from under my shower!
1499
01:15:24,436 --> 01:15:28,105
- No use, I can't understand
a word you're saying.
1500
01:15:28,148 --> 01:15:28,940
- Stop it, Marion.
1501
01:15:28,982 --> 01:15:30,274
We're being watched.
1502
01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:34,278
I wish you'd fly out a
window and leave me alone.
1503
01:15:34,321 --> 01:15:35,404
Oh, Marion, confound it.
1504
01:15:35,447 --> 01:15:36,697
Use your common sense.
1505
01:15:36,740 --> 01:15:39,116
- I've already used my common sense.
1506
01:15:39,159 --> 01:15:40,826
I've ordered cocktails.
1507
01:15:40,869 --> 01:15:43,412
And you'd better jump in the
shower and get yourself pretty.
1508
01:15:43,455 --> 01:15:46,123
- I wouldn't change my
tie with you in the room.
1509
01:15:46,166 --> 01:15:48,292
- Oh, Toppy, don't worry about me.
1510
01:15:48,335 --> 01:15:49,835
Get into your dinner clothes.
1511
01:15:49,878 --> 01:15:51,462
- You're not dressed, are you?
1512
01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:53,631
- Yes, I am dressed.
1513
01:15:53,674 --> 01:15:56,008
- Well, get so that I can see you,
1514
01:15:56,051 --> 01:15:58,719
so that I can keep track of you.
1515
01:15:59,972 --> 01:16:01,055
- How's this?
1516
01:16:02,224 --> 01:16:03,891
- You didn't have this on
under the shower, did you?
1517
01:16:03,934 --> 01:16:06,602
- No, but I just decided to
be dressed, and here I am.
1518
01:16:06,645 --> 01:16:07,979
Now you get dressed, and hurry up.
1519
01:16:08,021 --> 01:16:11,857
- All right, you sit
here where I can see you.
1520
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:17,530
- And what am I supposed
to do, twiddle my thumbs?
1521
01:16:21,076 --> 01:16:22,034
- Mr. Topper home?
1522
01:16:22,077 --> 01:16:23,578
- Mr. Topper's not at home, sir.
1523
01:16:23,620 --> 01:16:24,787
- Are you sure?
1524
01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:25,913
- Am I sure?
1525
01:16:25,956 --> 01:16:27,540
Why, certainly, I'm sure, sir.
1526
01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:28,958
Why shouldn't I be sure?
1527
01:16:29,001 --> 01:16:29,875
- I just wondered.
1528
01:16:29,918 --> 01:16:31,002
You look to me like the kind of fellow
1529
01:16:31,044 --> 01:16:32,295
who might not be sure.
1530
01:16:32,337 --> 01:16:34,130
- Mr. Topper is not at home, sir.
1531
01:16:34,172 --> 01:16:34,964
- That's what I said.
1532
01:16:35,007 --> 01:16:37,383
- Wilkins, what is the matter?
1533
01:16:37,426 --> 01:16:38,467
Oh.
1534
01:16:38,510 --> 01:16:40,094
- Mrs. Topper?
1535
01:16:40,137 --> 01:16:42,513
Mrs. Topper, where's that
mouse of a husband of yours?
1536
01:16:42,556 --> 01:16:43,347
- Mouse?
1537
01:16:43,390 --> 01:16:44,932
- Shall I eject this person, madam?
1538
01:16:44,975 --> 01:16:46,017
- Yes.
1539
01:16:46,059 --> 01:16:46,892
Well, no.
1540
01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:50,146
- Uh, listen, smiley,
you stay out of this.
1541
01:16:50,188 --> 01:16:53,941
Mrs. Topper, I'm looking for
that goofy husband of yours.
1542
01:16:53,984 --> 01:16:54,942
- I beg your pardon, sir,
1543
01:16:54,985 --> 01:16:56,736
but I must ask you to
be a little more careful
1544
01:16:56,778 --> 01:16:59,155
with your language in
front of Mrs. Topper.
1545
01:16:59,197 --> 01:17:01,449
Otherwise, I shall put the slug on you.
1546
01:17:01,491 --> 01:17:02,825
- No, no.
Don't be athletic.
1547
01:17:02,868 --> 01:17:03,993
Where's your husband?
1548
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:05,911
Where's your husband, Mrs. Topper?
1549
01:17:05,954 --> 01:17:06,746
- I don't know.
1550
01:17:06,788 --> 01:17:08,539
Mr. Topper's gone away.
1551
01:17:08,582 --> 01:17:10,249
- Yes, well, that's just what I thought.
1552
01:17:10,292 --> 01:17:11,292
- What do you mean?
1553
01:17:11,335 --> 01:17:13,586
- Mrs. Topper, I'm looking for my wife,
1554
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:15,212
and I've got a certain sneaking
1555
01:17:15,255 --> 01:17:17,048
suspicion that if I find Topper,
1556
01:17:17,090 --> 01:17:18,424
I'm gonna find her too!
1557
01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:20,885
- You mean she might be with Cosmo?
1558
01:17:20,927 --> 01:17:22,053
- Yes, well, it's just possible.
1559
01:17:22,095 --> 01:17:22,970
Listen, have you got a slug of scotch?
1560
01:17:23,013 --> 01:17:24,555
'Cause I've got the jitters.
1561
01:17:24,598 --> 01:17:25,806
- I'm sorry, but we've never had
1562
01:17:25,849 --> 01:17:27,308
any stimulants in the house.
1563
01:17:27,351 --> 01:17:28,726
- That's a fine thing.
1564
01:17:28,769 --> 01:17:30,436
Why don't you have a snort in
the house for the poor man,
1565
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:32,813
instead of lamb on Sunday, stew on Monday,
1566
01:17:32,856 --> 01:17:34,273
beef on Wednesday?
1567
01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:35,566
Why don't you go out dancing
with him occasionally?
1568
01:17:35,609 --> 01:17:37,860
Then he wouldn't have left you.
1569
01:17:37,903 --> 01:17:39,278
- I suppose you're right.
1570
01:17:39,321 --> 01:17:40,613
Well, it's too late now.
1571
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,031
- Oh, dear.
Please go, sir.
1572
01:17:42,074 --> 01:17:43,366
You're breaking the madam's heart.
1573
01:17:43,408 --> 01:17:44,200
- Yeah.
1574
01:17:44,242 --> 01:17:45,951
Well, if I find Topper,
I'll break his neck.
1575
01:17:45,994 --> 01:17:48,871
And believe me, I'll find him!
1576
01:17:48,914 --> 01:17:51,499
- He's very handsome, isn't he?
1577
01:18:04,763 --> 01:18:05,930
- Mrs. Topper!
1578
01:18:07,516 --> 01:18:08,641
Get me an aspirin.
1579
01:18:08,684 --> 01:18:10,101
- Why, of course.
1580
01:18:11,103 --> 01:18:14,939
Wilkins, I'm not supposed
to be the butler, you are.
1581
01:18:14,981 --> 01:18:15,815
- So I am.
1582
01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:19,193
I'll get the aspirin myself.
1583
01:18:22,447 --> 01:18:24,031
- Come in.
1584
01:18:28,412 --> 01:18:29,328
- Marion, get out of yourself.
1585
01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:31,080
Quick someone's coming.
1586
01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:32,373
- That's right.
1587
01:18:34,334 --> 01:18:35,167
- Come in.
1588
01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:43,384
What are you gaping at?
1589
01:18:43,427 --> 01:18:46,637
- Can I hear you say come in again?
1590
01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:47,471
- Don't be impertinent.
1591
01:18:47,514 --> 01:18:49,807
Put those things down there.
1592
01:18:51,143 --> 01:18:53,728
Well, hurry up.
Hurry up.
1593
01:18:53,770 --> 01:18:54,770
Oh, get out!
1594
01:19:00,610 --> 01:19:01,986
- Can't you look where I'm going?
1595
01:19:02,028 --> 01:19:03,446
- Yes, sir (stammering).
1596
01:19:03,488 --> 01:19:04,822
- So what's eatin' you?
1597
01:19:04,865 --> 01:19:07,450
- The next time I go
to 314, I'm not going.
1598
01:19:07,492 --> 01:19:08,659
- 314?
1599
01:19:08,702 --> 01:19:09,618
- Yeah, the guy's spooky.
1600
01:19:09,661 --> 01:19:11,120
I just brought him four cocktails.
1601
01:19:11,163 --> 01:19:13,205
- Four cocktails at one time for one guy?
1602
01:19:13,248 --> 01:19:15,291
- Well, one guy and two voices.
1603
01:19:15,333 --> 01:19:17,084
- What do you mean, two voices?
1604
01:19:17,127 --> 01:19:18,419
- Well, first he goes
way down low like this.
1605
01:19:18,462 --> 01:19:20,337
Then he talks way up high like a dame.
1606
01:19:20,380 --> 01:19:21,172
- Talks way up-
1607
01:19:21,214 --> 01:19:22,715
Talks way up high like a dame?
1608
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:24,091
Well, get downstairs and get the manager.
1609
01:19:24,134 --> 01:19:25,342
Get him up here right away.
1610
01:19:25,385 --> 01:19:26,385
- He don't need a manager.
1611
01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:27,386
He needs a straitjacket.
1612
01:19:27,429 --> 01:19:28,345
- Hurry up.
1613
01:19:31,183 --> 01:19:32,224
- Well?
1614
01:19:32,267 --> 01:19:33,225
- Don't scare me like that.
1615
01:19:33,268 --> 01:19:35,436
You know I'm a bundle of
nerves when I'm on duty.
1616
01:19:35,479 --> 01:19:36,562
- You sent for me, Casey.
1617
01:19:36,605 --> 01:19:38,105
- Yes, and I'm glad you finally got here.
1618
01:19:38,148 --> 01:19:38,981
- Why?
What's wrong?
1619
01:19:39,024 --> 01:19:41,025
- Hey, you see, the guy--
- Quiet.
1620
01:19:41,067 --> 01:19:42,651
I'm in charge here.
1621
01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:45,029
Don't you understand?
1622
01:19:45,071 --> 01:19:48,783
He's got a woman in there,
and she's not registered.
1623
01:19:48,825 --> 01:19:50,868
- I'll attend to this.
1624
01:19:50,911 --> 01:19:52,203
(knocking on door)
1625
01:19:52,245 --> 01:19:53,037
- Who is it?
1626
01:19:53,079 --> 01:19:54,455
- I'm the hotel manager.
1627
01:19:54,498 --> 01:19:57,249
Please open this door at once.
1628
01:19:57,292 --> 01:19:58,125
- Vanish.
1629
01:20:11,473 --> 01:20:13,766
- I'm sorry, sir, but
I shall have to ask you
1630
01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:16,936
and, uh, the lady to give up your room.
1631
01:20:16,978 --> 01:20:17,895
- The lady?
1632
01:20:18,897 --> 01:20:19,730
What lady?
1633
01:20:21,983 --> 01:20:23,776
- What lady?
1634
01:20:23,819 --> 01:20:26,362
Perhaps you can explain
the red on this cigarette.
1635
01:20:26,404 --> 01:20:30,366
- Yes, I cut my tongue when
I was shaving this morning.
1636
01:20:30,408 --> 01:20:32,660
- Cut your tongue?
- Mm-hmm.
1637
01:20:36,456 --> 01:20:37,957
- Listen, don't try to kid us.
1638
01:20:37,999 --> 01:20:41,168
There's a woman in here, we heard her.
1639
01:20:44,965 --> 01:20:45,881
She's gone.
1640
01:20:48,176 --> 01:20:50,094
- Casey, you're a fool.
1641
01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:52,847
I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Topper,
1642
01:20:52,889 --> 01:20:54,682
to have caused you this embarrassment.
1643
01:20:54,724 --> 01:20:56,851
I- I hope you'll accept my apology.
1644
01:20:56,893 --> 01:20:58,727
- Oh, but think nothing of it.
1645
01:20:58,770 --> 01:21:00,479
Promise me you'll think nothing of it.
1646
01:21:00,522 --> 01:21:02,314
You have no idea how badly I should feel
1647
01:21:02,357 --> 01:21:03,232
if you didn't promise me
1648
01:21:03,275 --> 01:21:04,358
you were going to think nothing of it.
1649
01:21:04,401 --> 01:21:06,151
- Well, I am sorry.
1650
01:21:06,194 --> 01:21:08,237
I hope you'll accept my humble apology.
1651
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,864
- Why, it's a deal.
1652
01:21:16,079 --> 01:21:17,997
- I guess I'm sorry too.
1653
01:21:18,039 --> 01:21:18,873
- Cuckoo!
1654
01:21:21,084 --> 01:21:21,917
- Uh, m-me too.
1655
01:21:21,960 --> 01:21:23,544
- Get out of here, you moron.
1656
01:21:23,587 --> 01:21:25,588
- House detective, eh?
(door slams)
1657
01:21:25,630 --> 01:21:28,549
A fine hash you've made of things.
1658
01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:31,468
(laughing behind door)
1659
01:21:31,511 --> 01:21:35,472
Now don't tell me that you
hear two people laughing.
1660
01:21:35,515 --> 01:21:38,392
Another mistake like
this and you'll be fired.
1661
01:21:38,435 --> 01:21:40,102
Now, watch yourself.
1662
01:21:47,152 --> 01:21:49,361
- Come on, Toppy.
I'm hungry.
1663
01:21:49,404 --> 01:21:50,362
Let's go down to dinner.
1664
01:21:50,405 --> 01:21:51,196
- On an empty stomach?
1665
01:21:51,239 --> 01:21:52,281
I want some more pink ladies.
1666
01:21:52,324 --> 01:21:53,699
- I'll get you some more pink ladies.
1667
01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:54,575
Come on.
1668
01:22:10,634 --> 01:22:12,801
It's a good thing no one saw
us coming out of my room.
1669
01:22:12,844 --> 01:22:15,763
- Why, Toppy, I think we look lovely.
1670
01:22:15,805 --> 01:22:18,223
We're the best dressed
couple in this hallway.
1671
01:22:18,266 --> 01:22:22,269
- Well, let's- let's
pretend we're not together.
1672
01:22:33,865 --> 01:22:36,951
(instrumental music)
1673
01:23:00,225 --> 01:23:02,226
- Thanks Toppy.
- Mm-hmm.
1674
01:23:03,853 --> 01:23:06,355
You know, Marion, you're
positively beautiful.
1675
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:10,651
Yes, I might almost say you were gorgeous.
1676
01:23:10,694 --> 01:23:12,152
I will say it.
1677
01:23:12,195 --> 01:23:13,278
You are gorgeous.
1678
01:23:13,321 --> 01:23:16,407
- I think you're gorgeous too, darling.
1679
01:23:16,449 --> 01:23:17,908
- Oh, captain, bring the wine list.
1680
01:23:17,951 --> 01:23:18,826
We don't want a wine list.
1681
01:23:18,868 --> 01:23:20,703
We want a flock more of pink ladies.
1682
01:23:20,745 --> 01:23:23,247
- That's right, bring
a lot of pink ladies.
1683
01:23:23,289 --> 01:23:25,124
And go on bringing them, on and on.
1684
01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:26,083
- Yes, sir.
1685
01:23:45,103 --> 01:23:45,894
- Yeah!
1686
01:23:45,937 --> 01:23:48,313
♫ Old Man Moon Wake up now
1687
01:23:48,356 --> 01:23:50,482
♫ 'Cause I've fallen in love
1688
01:23:50,525 --> 01:23:51,316
♫ Yeah!
1689
01:23:51,359 --> 01:23:52,818
♫ Go spread the news
1690
01:23:52,861 --> 01:23:56,822
♫ To all the stars above
1691
01:23:56,865 --> 01:23:58,615
♫ Shine for my baby
1692
01:23:58,658 --> 01:24:02,578
♫ while we're dancin' tonight
1693
01:24:03,621 --> 01:24:05,205
- I wanna dance.
1694
01:24:05,248 --> 01:24:06,498
- I thought we wanted to drink.
1695
01:24:06,541 --> 01:24:07,791
- Mm-hmm.
I do, I wanna drink,
1696
01:24:07,834 --> 01:24:10,377
I wanna dance, I wanna sing.
1697
01:24:10,420 --> 01:24:11,253
I wanna-
1698
01:24:11,296 --> 01:24:12,296
I wanna have fun.
1699
01:24:12,338 --> 01:24:13,964
Whee!
- Whoo-hoo!
1700
01:24:14,007 --> 01:24:15,758
Come on!
Let's dance.
1701
01:24:19,512 --> 01:24:21,680
♫ And if it's possible
1702
01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:24,224
♫ Keep shinin' till noon
1703
01:24:24,267 --> 01:24:28,437
♫ My sincerest thanks to you, sir
1704
01:24:34,944 --> 01:24:37,237
♫ Old Man Moon wake up now
1705
01:24:37,280 --> 01:24:41,450
♫ Because I've fallen so deep in love
1706
01:24:42,827 --> 01:24:44,078
- My, this is fun.
1707
01:24:44,120 --> 01:24:45,871
- Well, I'm glad one of us is enjoying it.
1708
01:24:45,914 --> 01:24:47,539
- Oh, I say, huh?
- Oh, no.
1709
01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:49,583
Don't listen to me.
I really like it a lot.
1710
01:24:49,626 --> 01:24:51,168
- And I like you a lot too.
1711
01:24:51,211 --> 01:24:53,337
- Toppy, are you falling in love with me?
1712
01:24:53,379 --> 01:24:55,672
- I tell you, I'm just that way about you.
1713
01:24:55,715 --> 01:24:58,467
- Just that way about my wife, huh?
1714
01:24:58,510 --> 01:25:00,010
Listen, Marion, what did you mean
1715
01:25:00,053 --> 01:25:01,136
by that remark on the telephone?
1716
01:25:01,179 --> 01:25:02,304
We're not married anymore.
1717
01:25:02,347 --> 01:25:04,181
Come here, I want to talk to you.
1718
01:25:04,224 --> 01:25:06,308
- Hey, listen, what are
you so burned up about?
1719
01:25:06,351 --> 01:25:08,185
What about you up in Westchester?
1720
01:25:08,228 --> 01:25:09,895
- No, don't change the subject.
1721
01:25:09,938 --> 01:25:11,563
What did you mean by that remark?
1722
01:25:11,606 --> 01:25:12,898
- You'll pardon us, but this is just
1723
01:25:12,941 --> 01:25:14,775
an old family after-dinner custom.
1724
01:25:14,818 --> 01:25:15,609
- Now, listen, Marion
1725
01:25:15,652 --> 01:25:17,611
- Oh, George, you're
ruining our good evening.
1726
01:25:17,654 --> 01:25:19,279
Here, have a pink lady.
1727
01:25:19,322 --> 01:25:21,532
- Oh, I've had a pink lady.
1728
01:25:21,574 --> 01:25:22,991
And to places with a good deed.
1729
01:25:23,034 --> 01:25:24,076
I'd rather have you.
1730
01:25:24,119 --> 01:25:24,910
- Of course, of course.
1731
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:25,869
- You stay out of this.
1732
01:25:25,912 --> 01:25:26,703
- Never mind, Toppy.
1733
01:25:26,746 --> 01:25:27,621
I'll meet you in the lobby.
1734
01:25:27,664 --> 01:25:28,539
- What's wrong here?
1735
01:25:28,581 --> 01:25:29,665
- You are.
Take a walk.
1736
01:25:29,707 --> 01:25:30,707
- You can't talk that way to me.
1737
01:25:30,750 --> 01:25:32,084
- Shut up!
1738
01:25:32,127 --> 01:25:34,044
- She's right.
1739
01:25:34,087 --> 01:25:36,338
- That's enough out of you.
1740
01:25:37,215 --> 01:25:38,799
See here, young la-
1741
01:25:44,347 --> 01:25:45,430
Where did she go to?
1742
01:25:45,473 --> 01:25:46,390
- Never mind, you stay here
1743
01:25:46,432 --> 01:25:50,269
like a good little
pelican, and I'll find her.
1744
01:25:53,398 --> 01:25:55,149
- Hey, where are you?
1745
01:25:56,442 --> 01:25:57,234
Where'd you go to?
1746
01:25:57,277 --> 01:25:58,402
Where are ya, either one of ya?
1747
01:25:58,444 --> 01:26:01,196
(loud clamoring)
1748
01:26:15,253 --> 01:26:16,378
- Why don't you watch what you're doing!
1749
01:26:16,421 --> 01:26:17,713
- I didn't do anything.
1750
01:26:17,755 --> 01:26:18,881
- Well, then watch yourself.
1751
01:26:18,923 --> 01:26:22,176
- Well, I've got enough to worry about.
1752
01:26:23,303 --> 01:26:24,887
- What happened? I-
1753
01:26:26,639 --> 01:26:27,598
- Stop pushing me!
1754
01:26:27,640 --> 01:26:31,810
- I'll not stop pushing you
because I didn't push you!
1755
01:26:33,813 --> 01:26:34,938
- Ohh!
1756
01:26:34,981 --> 01:26:37,983
- Topper, you're going home
to your wife where you belong.
1757
01:26:38,026 --> 01:26:39,401
- George, I won't be ordered about.
1758
01:26:39,444 --> 01:26:40,277
- You're going home!
1759
01:26:40,320 --> 01:26:41,236
- I am not.
1760
01:26:42,155 --> 01:26:43,739
- Oh, yes, you are.
1761
01:26:47,619 --> 01:26:50,787
- Oh, you naughty boy,
to tickle me like that.
1762
01:26:50,830 --> 01:26:51,663
- What?
1763
01:26:52,624 --> 01:26:54,458
(loud smack)
1764
01:26:54,500 --> 01:26:57,169
- Well, my husband will
put a stop to this.
1765
01:26:57,212 --> 01:26:59,379
- I wish he would, really.
1766
01:27:00,757 --> 01:27:01,548
- Where are you going?
1767
01:27:01,591 --> 01:27:02,382
- I quit.
1768
01:27:02,425 --> 01:27:04,426
That guy from 314 is too much for me.
1769
01:27:04,469 --> 01:27:05,260
- Don't be silly.
1770
01:27:05,303 --> 01:27:06,345
I'll have this rumpus straightened out
1771
01:27:06,387 --> 01:27:07,930
before I can bat an eye.
1772
01:27:07,972 --> 01:27:09,640
- You just stand here and bat your eyes.
1773
01:27:09,682 --> 01:27:11,516
I'm going out and get a nice quiet job
1774
01:27:11,559 --> 01:27:12,976
in a nut factory.
1775
01:27:13,978 --> 01:27:15,604
- Sit down, Topper.
1776
01:27:15,647 --> 01:27:17,022
I wanna talk to you.
1777
01:27:17,065 --> 01:27:17,981
- I won't sit down!
1778
01:27:18,024 --> 01:27:19,441
- Oh, yes, you will.
1779
01:27:19,484 --> 01:27:20,901
- No, I will not.
1780
01:27:25,031 --> 01:27:29,201
Something a little odd about
this hotel, don't you think?
1781
01:27:32,830 --> 01:27:34,289
I'm having a little chair trouble,
1782
01:27:34,332 --> 01:27:36,917
but you pay no attention to it.
1783
01:27:47,637 --> 01:27:49,388
I'm, uh- I'm reading.
1784
01:27:57,730 --> 01:27:58,522
- Where's Casey?
1785
01:27:58,564 --> 01:27:59,356
- I don't know.
1786
01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:00,649
He wouldn't be any help anyway.
1787
01:28:00,692 --> 01:28:01,483
- Well, you go call the police
1788
01:28:01,526 --> 01:28:03,944
before the whole hotel's wrecked.
1789
01:28:03,987 --> 01:28:06,154
- George, George, this can't go on.
1790
01:28:06,197 --> 01:28:07,531
It's gotta stop.
1791
01:28:12,287 --> 01:28:13,120
George.
1792
01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:19,167
I beg your pardon.
Did you drop this?
1793
01:28:19,210 --> 01:28:20,043
- Oh!
1794
01:28:22,255 --> 01:28:24,339
Why, you- you witch, you!
1795
01:28:29,721 --> 01:28:31,179
- Casey, get that wild man to my office
1796
01:28:31,222 --> 01:28:32,931
before we lose every guest in the house.
1797
01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:36,643
- Right, I'll show him
who he thinks we are.
1798
01:28:38,563 --> 01:28:40,814
The manager wants to
see you instantaneously.
1799
01:28:40,857 --> 01:28:42,107
- I don't wanna see him.
1800
01:28:42,150 --> 01:28:43,275
- Now, don't evade the question.
1801
01:28:43,318 --> 01:28:44,860
You're gonna see him anyhow.
1802
01:28:44,902 --> 01:28:45,736
- George?
1803
01:28:46,738 --> 01:28:47,571
George.
1804
01:28:49,073 --> 01:28:49,906
George!
1805
01:28:51,909 --> 01:28:54,036
- Uh-huh, I've been looking for you.
1806
01:28:54,078 --> 01:28:56,038
- What do you say we make up?
1807
01:28:56,080 --> 01:28:57,247
- Okay, honey.
1808
01:28:58,124 --> 01:29:01,918
Hey, you know, this is the
best fight we ever had.
1809
01:29:01,961 --> 01:29:03,253
- But look at poor Toppy.
1810
01:29:03,296 --> 01:29:06,214
We've gotta do something about him.
1811
01:29:07,467 --> 01:29:08,342
It's practically done.
1812
01:29:08,384 --> 01:29:09,593
Get his bag in the car.
1813
01:29:09,635 --> 01:29:11,386
- All right, darling.
1814
01:29:16,559 --> 01:29:17,601
- Oh!
1815
01:29:17,643 --> 01:29:19,019
What are you doing?
1816
01:29:19,062 --> 01:29:21,063
Stop it!
You're hurting Rollo!
1817
01:29:21,105 --> 01:29:24,107
- Take this sack of bones off of me!
1818
01:29:26,486 --> 01:29:28,236
- Won't somebody help me, please?
1819
01:29:28,279 --> 01:29:30,197
- So you're the guy that
caused all this trouble, huh?
1820
01:29:30,239 --> 01:29:31,281
- I'm the house detective.
1821
01:29:31,324 --> 01:29:32,616
I'm in charge here.
1822
01:29:32,658 --> 01:29:34,159
- Come on.
Get up.
1823
01:29:35,453 --> 01:29:38,288
- Here, hold this while
I go for the cuffs.
1824
01:29:38,331 --> 01:29:39,956
- Eh, what is this?
1825
01:29:39,999 --> 01:29:41,500
- It's a dog.
1826
01:29:41,542 --> 01:29:42,918
- Are you trying to make a sap out of me?
1827
01:29:42,960 --> 01:29:44,628
- It's too late.
1828
01:29:44,670 --> 01:29:46,254
- Who said that?
1829
01:29:46,297 --> 01:29:47,089
Did you say that?
1830
01:29:47,131 --> 01:29:48,215
- Of course not.
1831
01:29:48,257 --> 01:29:49,424
That's what's wrong here.
1832
01:29:49,467 --> 01:29:50,509
There's a phantom something
1833
01:29:50,551 --> 01:29:51,927
or someone who's wrecking this hotel.
1834
01:29:51,969 --> 01:29:53,261
And I want him caught!
1835
01:29:53,304 --> 01:29:54,179
- A phantom?
1836
01:29:54,222 --> 01:29:55,722
Who you trying to kid?
1837
01:29:55,765 --> 01:29:58,600
(woman screaming)
1838
01:30:04,649 --> 01:30:06,691
All right, men, surround him!
1839
01:30:06,734 --> 01:30:07,526
- Surround who?
1840
01:30:07,568 --> 01:30:09,152
Who's giving orders here?
1841
01:30:09,195 --> 01:30:10,404
You folks watch the door.
1842
01:30:10,446 --> 01:30:12,531
- Come on, men.
Follow me.
1843
01:30:15,493 --> 01:30:17,119
All right, men, line up.
1844
01:30:17,161 --> 01:30:18,578
We'll rake the room.
1845
01:30:18,621 --> 01:30:22,374
(guests chattering loudly)
1846
01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:23,250
Quiet!
1847
01:30:29,549 --> 01:30:32,884
- Ooh-ga-boo!
(loud pop)
1848
01:30:34,429 --> 01:30:36,304
- Steady, men.
1849
01:30:36,347 --> 01:30:38,306
We're closing in on him.
1850
01:30:41,561 --> 01:30:42,978
Bread and butter.
1851
01:30:47,191 --> 01:30:50,819
- Ba-boom! Happy New Year!
1852
01:30:50,862 --> 01:30:52,028
- There he is!
1853
01:30:53,781 --> 01:30:54,865
Ooh!
Get off!
1854
01:30:59,412 --> 01:31:00,328
Up.
Get up!
1855
01:31:01,456 --> 01:31:03,540
- A fine bunch of cops you are.
1856
01:31:03,583 --> 01:31:05,250
I had that guy right where he wanted me,
1857
01:31:05,293 --> 01:31:07,294
till you crossed him up.
1858
01:31:22,143 --> 01:31:23,101
- He's gone!
1859
01:31:23,144 --> 01:31:23,977
He's gone!
1860
01:31:25,062 --> 01:31:26,354
Sergeant, he's gone.
1861
01:31:26,397 --> 01:31:28,940
He got into the automobile and drove away,
1862
01:31:28,983 --> 01:31:31,151
but nobody was driving it.
1863
01:31:32,445 --> 01:31:34,321
- Oh, there must be an easier way
1864
01:31:34,363 --> 01:31:36,615
to make a livin' than this.
1865
01:31:38,576 --> 01:31:39,784
- Stop squirming, Topper.
1866
01:31:39,827 --> 01:31:41,077
What's the matter with you?
1867
01:31:41,120 --> 01:31:41,912
- I can't help it.
1868
01:31:41,954 --> 01:31:43,371
Look at that speedometer.
1869
01:31:43,414 --> 01:31:46,708
What are you two trying
to do, make me like you?
1870
01:31:46,751 --> 01:31:49,252
- Can't help it, old boy.
1871
01:31:49,295 --> 01:31:50,670
I'm scared stiff!
1872
01:31:50,713 --> 01:31:51,546
Where are we going?
1873
01:31:51,589 --> 01:31:53,256
- I'm sorry, Topper, I don't know.
1874
01:31:53,299 --> 01:31:55,300
All I know is I've gotta go there, fast!
1875
01:31:55,343 --> 01:31:58,512
- Slow down!
Please slow down!
1876
01:31:58,554 --> 01:32:00,931
(loud crash)
1877
01:32:07,146 --> 01:32:09,022
I said you'd ruin me, and you have.
1878
01:32:09,065 --> 01:32:11,024
Now you've done it.
1879
01:32:11,067 --> 01:32:13,568
George, Marion, where are you?
1880
01:32:13,611 --> 01:32:14,444
Oh.
1881
01:32:15,488 --> 01:32:16,571
- A fine thing.
1882
01:32:16,614 --> 01:32:18,490
Here we are again.
1883
01:32:18,533 --> 01:32:19,324
- Hmph.
1884
01:32:19,367 --> 01:32:23,286
Once more around that curve,
I won't have a hat left.
1885
01:32:23,329 --> 01:32:24,746
- Look at Topper.
1886
01:32:26,290 --> 01:32:27,749
- Now look here, you two.
1887
01:32:27,792 --> 01:32:28,583
But look at me.
1888
01:32:28,626 --> 01:32:29,751
I'm just like you now.
1889
01:32:29,794 --> 01:32:30,710
- Keep your garters on, Toppy.
1890
01:32:30,753 --> 01:32:31,545
You'll be all right.
1891
01:32:31,587 --> 01:32:33,213
You're just a little unconscious.
1892
01:32:33,256 --> 01:32:34,339
- Ah, yeah.
1893
01:32:34,382 --> 01:32:35,590
You're much too solid, Topper.
1894
01:32:35,633 --> 01:32:37,884
I don't think you've become
a member of our club yet.
1895
01:32:37,927 --> 01:32:39,427
Well, I won't go back.
- Why not?
1896
01:32:39,470 --> 01:32:40,262
- I won't do it.
1897
01:32:40,304 --> 01:32:41,096
- You won't do what?
1898
01:32:41,138 --> 01:32:42,180
- I won't go back to
that silly old routine.
1899
01:32:42,223 --> 01:32:44,474
Up at 8:00, bed at 11 :00, lamb on Sundays.
1900
01:32:44,517 --> 01:32:45,725
I won't do it!
1901
01:32:45,768 --> 01:32:47,394
- Oh, Topper, don't be foolish.
1902
01:32:47,436 --> 01:32:48,812
They won't make you do that again.
1903
01:32:48,854 --> 01:32:50,313
- I'd rather stay here
with you and Marion,
1904
01:32:50,356 --> 01:32:52,440
even though it is like living
on the top of a volcano.
1905
01:32:52,483 --> 01:32:53,608
- But, Topper, you've gotta go back.
1906
01:32:53,651 --> 01:32:54,901
You don't know how much it means to her.
1907
01:32:54,944 --> 01:32:55,777
- No, I won't.
1908
01:32:55,820 --> 01:32:56,987
- Topper, you've gotta go back!
1909
01:32:57,029 --> 01:32:57,821
Don't you see-
1910
01:32:57,863 --> 01:32:59,447
- George!
Trumpets!
1911
01:33:00,783 --> 01:33:01,575
- No, no, it isn't trumpets.
1912
01:33:01,617 --> 01:33:02,409
It's an ambulance!
1913
01:33:02,451 --> 01:33:03,243
Get back, Topper!
1914
01:33:03,286 --> 01:33:05,203
- No, I don't wanna go.
1915
01:33:08,165 --> 01:33:10,709
Well, if I've got to go, I've got to go.
1916
01:33:10,751 --> 01:33:12,586
But I'll get up when I
feel like it in the morning
1917
01:33:12,628 --> 01:33:14,546
and I'll have some fun.
1918
01:33:23,764 --> 01:33:24,889
Where were we?
1919
01:33:27,560 --> 01:33:28,643
- You've had an accident,
1920
01:33:28,686 --> 01:33:32,147
but you're safe at home and
you're going to be all right.
1921
01:33:32,189 --> 01:33:34,024
- Where's-Where's Marion?
1922
01:33:34,066 --> 01:33:35,442
- I'll call Mrs. Topper right away.
1923
01:33:35,484 --> 01:33:37,736
- No, not Mrs. Topper.
1924
01:33:37,778 --> 01:33:38,778
Marion.
1925
01:33:38,821 --> 01:33:40,113
- Who's Marion?
1926
01:33:40,156 --> 01:33:41,239
- Oh. Mm-hmm.
1927
01:33:42,825 --> 01:33:44,743
She's probably someone I dreamed about
1928
01:33:44,785 --> 01:33:46,536
when I was in the ether.
1929
01:33:46,579 --> 01:33:47,996
- But you didn't have any ether.
1930
01:33:48,039 --> 01:33:49,873
- Oh, yes, I did.
1931
01:33:49,915 --> 01:33:52,000
You'd be surprised.
1932
01:33:52,043 --> 01:33:53,668
- Your wife is very anxious to see you.
1933
01:33:53,711 --> 01:33:56,004
Do you feel able to talk to her?
1934
01:33:56,047 --> 01:33:58,340
- You would bring that up.
1935
01:33:58,382 --> 01:33:59,507
I'm all right.
1936
01:33:59,550 --> 01:34:01,259
Go ahead and call her.
1937
01:34:01,302 --> 01:34:03,887
Might as well get it over with.
1938
01:34:10,478 --> 01:34:13,313
- Mr. Topper is conscious
and wishes to see you.
1939
01:34:13,356 --> 01:34:14,689
- Is he really all right?
1940
01:34:14,732 --> 01:34:16,566
- He's perfectly fine.
1941
01:34:17,526 --> 01:34:18,360
- Oh!
1942
01:34:19,612 --> 01:34:20,445
- Madam?
1943
01:34:26,702 --> 01:34:27,952
- Why, Wilkins!
1944
01:34:36,337 --> 01:34:38,588
♫ The old oaken bucket
1945
01:34:38,631 --> 01:34:40,882
♫ The iron-bound bucket
1946
01:34:40,925 --> 01:34:43,051
♫ The moss-covered bucket
1947
01:34:43,094 --> 01:34:45,136
♫ that hangs-
1948
01:34:45,179 --> 01:34:46,930
- See?
Since I quit drinking,
1949
01:34:46,972 --> 01:34:48,765
no more jitters.
1950
01:34:48,808 --> 01:34:50,433
- Well, I wish you'd sit down.
1951
01:34:50,476 --> 01:34:52,185
You give me the jitters.
1952
01:34:52,228 --> 01:34:53,687
What in the world are
you trying to do anyway?
1953
01:34:53,729 --> 01:34:56,272
- Shh quiet, I'm
practicing to be an angel.
1954
01:34:56,315 --> 01:34:57,774
- Some angel you'll make.
1955
01:34:57,817 --> 01:34:59,567
- Hmm!
Nice retorting.
1956
01:35:02,405 --> 01:35:04,698
Well, I'm still your little
angel, aren't I, honey?
1957
01:35:04,740 --> 01:35:05,740
- Oh, stop it.
1958
01:35:05,783 --> 01:35:07,200
- Well, aren't I?
1959
01:35:09,078 --> 01:35:10,161
- Of course you are.
1960
01:35:10,204 --> 01:35:11,871
But don't say aren't I.
1961
01:35:11,914 --> 01:35:12,914
- Okay, pet.
1962
01:35:14,208 --> 01:35:15,041
Ain't I?
1963
01:35:16,627 --> 01:35:20,296
Say, I do hope Mrs. Topper
doesn't gum up our good deed.
1964
01:35:20,339 --> 01:35:22,924
- Well, we'll know in a minute.
1965
01:35:26,095 --> 01:35:27,846
- Oh, darling.
1966
01:35:27,888 --> 01:35:30,140
I was so afraid I was going to lose you.
1967
01:35:30,182 --> 01:35:32,809
- Oh, you can't lose a bad
penny like me, you know.
1968
01:35:32,852 --> 01:35:34,519
- You're not a bad penny.
1969
01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:36,604
You're just the dearest, sweetest husband
1970
01:35:36,647 --> 01:35:38,732
a woman ever had.
1971
01:35:38,774 --> 01:35:40,692
- Darling, you amaze me.
1972
01:35:40,735 --> 01:35:43,153
You look so differently, and you-
1973
01:35:43,195 --> 01:35:44,696
you act so differently.
1974
01:35:44,739 --> 01:35:46,156
- I am different.
1975
01:35:46,198 --> 01:35:47,782
And I've been praying you'd come back,
1976
01:35:47,825 --> 01:35:49,492
so I could prove it.
1977
01:35:50,619 --> 01:35:52,912
Will you promise not to laugh
if I show you something?
1978
01:35:52,955 --> 01:35:53,955
- I promise.
1979
01:35:58,294 --> 01:36:00,503
I'm-I'm too astonished to laugh.
1980
01:36:00,546 --> 01:36:02,422
- You do understand, don't you?
1981
01:36:02,465 --> 01:36:03,798
- Oh, darling, I understand.
1982
01:36:03,841 --> 01:36:06,009
Why... I love you.
1983
01:36:06,051 --> 01:36:06,885
- Cosmo.
1984
01:36:10,639 --> 01:36:12,974
- But I wonder if you knew everything.
1985
01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:13,975
If you knew--
1986
01:36:14,018 --> 01:36:15,602
- I don't want to know anything.
1987
01:36:15,644 --> 01:36:19,564
I'm just going to love
you, and never question.
1988
01:36:21,400 --> 01:36:22,734
- So long, Toppy.
1989
01:36:22,777 --> 01:36:23,902
We're on our way.
1990
01:36:23,944 --> 01:36:25,862
- We won't be seeing you anymore, Toppy.
1991
01:36:25,905 --> 01:36:27,447
So long.
1992
01:36:27,490 --> 01:36:28,323
- What was that?
1993
01:36:28,365 --> 01:36:29,532
I thought I heard voices.
1994
01:36:29,575 --> 01:36:33,745
- No, remember, darling,
love me and never question.
1995
01:36:35,498 --> 01:36:37,624
- Bless our happy home.
1996
01:36:37,666 --> 01:36:41,503
(dramatic instrumental music)
129191
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