Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:05,604 --> 00:00:06,671
Keep or dump?
3
00:00:06,739 --> 00:00:07,839
Keep.
4
00:00:07,907 --> 00:00:10,141
What...have you worn this
in the last 6 months?
5
00:00:10,209 --> 00:00:11,776
No.
Dump it.
6
00:00:11,844 --> 00:00:14,479
No, wait a minute!
What if I'm invited to a luau?
7
00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:16,748
A luau? In Philly?
8
00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:19,884
Why not? We got fire.
We got pigs. What?
9
00:00:19,952 --> 00:00:21,753
Babe, the rule's the rule.
Ok?
10
00:00:21,821 --> 00:00:24,589
If you haven't touched something
in 6 months, it's out of here.
11
00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:26,691
I'm sure gonna miss you, Joy.
12
00:00:26,759 --> 00:00:27,859
Stop it!
13
00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:30,895
Come on. I'm making
sacrifices too.
14
00:00:30,963 --> 00:00:33,331
This is all great stuff.
But I'm not keeping it,
15
00:00:33,399 --> 00:00:35,166
'cause it's not
age-appropriate.
16
00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:36,401
Age-appropriate?
17
00:00:36,468 --> 00:00:38,436
You have "uicy"
written on your butt.
18
00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:40,271
What?!
What happened to the "j"?
19
00:00:40,339 --> 00:00:41,439
Donuts?
20
00:00:41,507 --> 00:00:44,175
I'm kidding.
You know I love that dumper.
21
00:00:44,243 --> 00:00:46,311
Thank you.
No. Thank you.
22
00:00:46,378 --> 00:00:50,448
Babe, I know this is hard.
But look on the brightside.
23
00:00:50,516 --> 00:00:53,518
We're having a big yard sale.
And we're gonna have extra money.
24
00:00:53,586 --> 00:00:54,719
Well, I like that.
25
00:00:54,787 --> 00:00:56,921
Doesn't it feel good to get
rid of all this clutter?
26
00:00:56,989 --> 00:00:58,923
Oh, kind of.
Wait a minute.
27
00:00:58,991 --> 00:01:01,960
My collector car?
No, you can't give that away.
28
00:01:02,027 --> 00:01:04,729
Honey, it's a child's toy.
You have a lot of them.
29
00:01:04,797 --> 00:01:06,297
It's time to get
rid of them.
30
00:01:06,365 --> 00:01:07,966
My slinky!
Look at this.
31
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:09,667
And it's the old school one.
32
00:01:09,735 --> 00:01:12,203
It isn't like
the plastic ones today.
33
00:01:12,271 --> 00:01:13,571
This is one of the greatest
stress relievers.
34
00:01:13,639 --> 00:01:15,640
Like you used to be.
35
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:19,010
Can we let some children
enjoy these things?
36
00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:21,045
Screw the children.
They have their computers.
37
00:01:21,113 --> 00:01:23,281
I want my toys.
38
00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,350
All right.
I'll tell you what. Pick 2.
39
00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:26,484
2?!
Mm-hmm.
40
00:01:26,552 --> 00:01:27,785
What am I? 7?
2!
41
00:01:27,853 --> 00:01:28,853
2. All right.
42
00:01:34,193 --> 00:01:35,960
I can't believe you have...
43
00:01:36,028 --> 00:01:38,442
Oh, and here's my "lite-brite!"
44
00:01:59,885 --> 00:02:03,288
Hey.And besides, get that'u
where my pilates machine is going.
45
00:02:03,355 --> 00:02:05,456
Wait. A pilates machine?
46
00:02:05,524 --> 00:02:06,691
Ok. So, let me get this
straight.
47
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:10,762
Your plan is to sell 800 small
things that we don't use
48
00:02:10,829 --> 00:02:13,631
And buy one big thing
we won't use.
49
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,935
Will we, honey? And buy
one big thing really?
50
00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:19,137
Let's look at your pile,
shall we?
51
00:02:19,204 --> 00:02:20,471
What is this here?
No idea.
52
00:02:20,539 --> 00:02:22,607
Oh, this is your ab toner.
53
00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:24,475
That's right.
And you have...what's here?
54
00:02:24,543 --> 00:02:28,012
"22-minute abs,"
"15-minute abs,"
55
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,414
"7-minute abs."
56
00:02:29,481 --> 00:02:30,848
"7-minute abs?"
I'm keeping that.
57
00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:33,184
Yeah. Are you?
How about a thigh master
58
00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:35,119
That's never
been out of the box?
59
00:02:35,187 --> 00:02:38,356
Come on, Joy. Joy, what the hell are
we going to do with a pilates machine?
60
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:41,659
We will use this opportunity
to get into shape together.
61
00:02:41,727 --> 00:02:45,129
And we'll agree to do that
for the 3,000th time?
62
00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:46,397
We never
had the room before.
63
00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:48,399
Now we are going to have
the space to work out in.
64
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:49,834
It's going to be great.
65
00:02:49,902 --> 00:02:51,336
Let's get started
on the drawers.
66
00:02:51,403 --> 00:02:52,603
No...
67
00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:54,539
Yes! I'll get it, honey.
Let me get it.
68
00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:57,675
You just...
you do your drawers. Yes.
69
00:02:59,411 --> 00:03:00,845
Coming.
70
00:03:02,514 --> 00:03:03,381
Yeah?
71
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,350
Hi. I'm Tommy Campbell.
72
00:03:05,417 --> 00:03:07,585
Me and the wife just moved
in next door.
73
00:03:07,653 --> 00:03:09,654
So, I wanted
to introduce myself.
74
00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:10,788
Great. How are you?
75
00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:12,390
I'm Eddie Stark.
76
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:16,066
Ok. So, I guess we're pretty
much done here, huh?
77
00:03:16,134 --> 00:03:21,503
Pretty much. Look, I'll be honest
with you. I didn't wanna come over.
78
00:03:22,604 --> 00:03:25,004
It's the wife.
She's a people person.
79
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:28,039
Me? I like sheep.
80
00:03:30,042 --> 00:03:32,377
Ok. Take it easy.
81
00:03:32,444 --> 00:03:34,912
Let me ask you something.
Are you married?
82
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:38,850
Look at this face.
What do you think?
83
00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:40,218
I'll tell you what.
84
00:03:40,285 --> 00:03:44,106
Why don't you invite us over
tonight for cocktails?
85
00:04:15,587 --> 00:04:18,589
...and buy Doug a haircut.
86
00:04:18,657 --> 00:04:22,627
Well, I want to
keep my Teddy bear.
87
00:04:22,694 --> 00:04:23,861
Oh, my blanky.
88
00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:25,463
Yeah. That's great.
89
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:27,765
Then we can take all your
stuff, mix it with my stuff,
90
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:30,401
And then someday
have our own gar.
91
00:04:30,469 --> 00:04:33,341
Well, first you have
to get a garage, Doug.
92
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:40,344
You just don't want me
to succeed, do you?
93
00:04:40,412 --> 00:04:42,013
Come on, honey!
94
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:46,417
Yeah. Stick this stuff into
our negativity-free zone.
95
00:04:46,485 --> 00:04:47,919
Oh, I thought
it was a rent-free zon
96
00:04:47,986 --> 00:04:49,587
Daddy...
Honey...
97
00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:51,789
Come on, Doug.
98
00:04:51,857 --> 00:04:53,791
Doug exits.
99
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,194
Hey, Eddie!
100
00:04:56,261 --> 00:05:00,643
Whitey's here. Whitey's
here. Fix your hair. Fix it.
101
00:05:12,711 --> 00:05:14,259
Well, it's just...
102
00:05:36,301 --> 00:05:39,871
...that I did.
103
00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:51,883
Me and Johnnie Walker.
104
00:05:56,188 --> 00:05:58,126
It's original Whitey...
105
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,543
U knicke absolutely it's unnecessary.
106
00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:21,412
So, how much is this beauty?
107
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,181
$26,000.
108
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:27,051
$26,000?
109
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:32,657
$26,000?
Mm-hmm.
110
00:06:32,724 --> 00:06:36,294
But I'm paying off
the farmer thathe sheep.
111
00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:41,165
I mean, why would anyone put a
surveillance camera in a barn?
112
00:06:45,874 --> 00:06:48,175
All right.
Let's get this over with.
113
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:51,311
I'll be right in.
114
00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:54,448
Hey, Tommy!
115
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:57,484
Hi, Eddie. Say hello
to the wife, April.
116
00:06:57,552 --> 00:06:59,519
Oh, hi. How are you?
117
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:02,923
So, it's nice to meet you.
118
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:07,194
April, what a beautiful
rack...name. Name.
119
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,962
We're not insulted.
120
00:07:09,030 --> 00:07:11,098
Not at all.
Wow! You're tall.
121
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:12,833
I'm not used to looking up
at a man.
122
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,602
Well, I could stand on
my wallet.
123
00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:17,537
That would even
things out.
124
00:07:19,407 --> 00:07:20,774
Hey, isn't she cute?
125
00:07:20,842 --> 00:07:24,711
She's like the girl I used
to date before I had money.
126
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:28,682
Except she doesn't have
a valve in her stomach.
127
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:31,218
Hello, hello!
128
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:35,455
Oh, and this is my wife,
ironically named Joy.
129
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,159
Hi, I'm Tommy Campbell.
130
00:07:39,227 --> 00:07:41,628
Hello, Tommy Campbell.
It's nice to meet you.
131
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:44,030
And this must be
your daughter.
132
00:07:44,098 --> 00:07:47,200
Whoa! Daughter?! If she was
my daughter, could I do this?
133
00:07:50,371 --> 00:07:52,472
No.
134
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,441
This is Tommy's wife, April.
135
00:07:54,509 --> 00:07:57,411
Really?
136
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,113
Isn't she adorable?
137
00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:05,786
Look at the size of her
feet! She's gonna be tall!
138
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,722
All right. Why don't
we sit down, everybody, huh?
139
00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:10,824
Make ourselves comfortable.
140
00:08:10,892 --> 00:08:12,292
Very nice.
141
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,761
So, tell me, Tommy, what
line of work are you in?
142
00:08:14,829 --> 00:08:19,099
I'm a software developer.
Well, I was. I'm retired now.
143
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:23,069
I created a cell phone app
for getting a divorce.
144
00:08:23,137 --> 00:08:25,939
3 clicks and you're single.
145
00:08:26,007 --> 00:08:28,508
Really? Click. Click. Click.
146
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:32,012
I wouldn't...I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
147
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:35,282
It went viral,
and I made a small fortune.
148
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,017
Which I get when he dies.
149
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:41,988
That's 'cause the ex-wife
divorced me before I made my money.
150
00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:46,693
Who's the big worthless jew now?
151
00:08:46,761 --> 00:08:50,197
Not you, handsome.
152
00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:52,265
So, where did
you two meet?
153
00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:54,501
My guess would be
"to catch a predator."
154
00:08:56,404 --> 00:08:59,406
Chuck e. Cheese. I had to
stop off there to use the john.
155
00:08:59,474 --> 00:09:03,477
I don't know about you, but
I can't go more than 6 blocks.
156
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,379
I saw her
by the ski ball machine.
157
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:07,981
I bought her
a roll of ticket.
158
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:12,085
Next thing you know, I'm throwing
her bike in the back of my car.
159
00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:15,322
And we're driving
to my house.
160
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:19,626
That is so...Disgusting.
161
00:09:19,694 --> 00:09:22,429
Really? I'm a little teary.
162
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:26,366
It's almost the perfect
relationship.
163
00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,301
I'll be dead in 10 years.
164
00:09:28,369 --> 00:09:29,970
And I'll be rich.
165
00:09:31,706 --> 00:09:34,241
And I'll be here.
166
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:38,445
Listen, Campbell people,
aside from the obvious,
167
00:09:38,513 --> 00:09:42,182
What do you two
have in common?
168
00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:44,718
There's nothing
besides the obvious!
169
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:49,689
Look at me! I'm a short, 51-year
old jew with a cartoon voice
170
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:53,493
And a prostate the size
of henderson, nevada.
171
00:09:53,561 --> 00:09:56,263
Why else
would she be with me?!
172
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,298
I'm earning every penny.
173
00:09:58,366 --> 00:10:01,635
She really is.
She's a trouper.
174
00:10:03,304 --> 00:10:04,604
You know,
I gotta be honest.
175
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,407
I'm trying to find a hole in
this, and I can't find one.
176
00:10:07,475 --> 00:10:10,477
Really? I see several.
177
00:10:10,545 --> 00:10:13,213
Well, welcome to
the neighborhood.
178
00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:15,749
I hope you don't mind.
I sunbathe in the nude.
179
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,918
I do not have
a problem with that.
180
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,419
Oh, and so do I.
181
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:21,988
I have a problem
with that.
182
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,529
Stop looking at the neighbors.
183
00:10:29,597 --> 00:10:31,531
I wonder what they're
doing over there.
184
00:10:31,599 --> 00:10:34,234
Take a guess.
185
00:10:34,302 --> 00:10:35,635
Yeah. You're probably right.
186
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,604
Oh, they're a fun couple.
187
00:10:37,672 --> 00:10:40,006
Babe, that relationship
is wrong on every level.
188
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:41,374
It's disgusting.
189
00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:43,677
No, Joy.
Love is not disgusting.
190
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,378
They seem to be
the perfect couple.
191
00:10:45,446 --> 00:10:48,114
Uh, yeah? How would you feel
if it was your daughter?
192
00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:51,051
You're just determined
to ruin this for me.
193
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,352
Babe, think about it. Ok?
194
00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:55,288
A man can't possibly enjoy
having sex with a woman
195
00:10:55,356 --> 00:10:57,223
Who's just doing it
for the money.
196
00:10:57,291 --> 00:11:02,128
You're right, Joy. That's probably
why prostitution never caught on.
197
00:11:02,196 --> 00:11:06,366
I just want to go on record as saying
the whole thing is odd, strange,
198
00:11:06,434 --> 00:11:08,168
And, frankly,
a little repulsive.
199
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,337
You're absolutely right.
200
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:13,340
Let's have them over for
dinner tomorrow night.
201
00:11:20,002 --> 00:11:21,936
Can you believe anyone
would wear this crap?
202
00:11:22,004 --> 00:11:24,305
These clothes look like something
from my mother's closet.
203
00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:26,607
More like your
grandmother's closet.
204
00:11:26,675 --> 00:11:27,875
The shirt looks archaic.
205
00:11:27,943 --> 00:11:32,179
Let's go! We get better
stuff at the shelter.
206
00:11:32,247 --> 00:11:36,017
It's called vintage,
bitches.
207
00:11:36,084 --> 00:11:39,020
Ah, well to sell Joy,
Joy, way to sell.
208
00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:40,988
Pearls before swine.
209
00:11:41,056 --> 00:11:42,723
Listen, hold down the fort.
210
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,058
I need a refill.
211
00:11:44,126 --> 00:11:45,059
Take it easy.
212
00:11:45,127 --> 00:11:46,794
Hi, Eddie!
213
00:11:46,862 --> 00:11:50,331
Hey, Tommy!
How are...where's April?
214
00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:54,068
Oh, she's taking a nap. She's
a lot less fussy in the evening
215
00:11:54,136 --> 00:11:55,503
If she takes her nap.
216
00:11:55,570 --> 00:11:58,105
Besides, she worked really
hard last night.
217
00:11:58,173 --> 00:11:59,507
Oh, she has a job?
218
00:11:59,574 --> 00:12:01,742
No...
219
00:12:04,279 --> 00:12:06,547
Ooh! Look at this
hawaiian shirt!
220
00:12:06,615 --> 00:12:09,383
It's hideous!
221
00:12:10,619 --> 00:12:12,353
I'll take it.
222
00:12:12,421 --> 00:12:14,722
Have you ever been
to Hawaii, Tommy.
223
00:12:14,790 --> 00:12:16,357
I was there once.
224
00:12:16,425 --> 00:12:19,694
I got 3rd degree burns
on the 1st day.
225
00:12:19,761 --> 00:12:23,264
I spent the week in the hospital
getting my skinned peeled
226
00:12:23,332 --> 00:12:29,070
By a 19-year-old candy
striper named kiki liki wo.
227
00:12:30,505 --> 00:12:33,441
Boy, you sure had a
good run, huh, Tommy?
228
00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:35,876
Well, I've had some
bumps along the road.
229
00:12:35,944 --> 00:12:38,412
But I figure
what they can't cut out,
230
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,248
They could burn off,
am I right?!
231
00:12:41,316 --> 00:12:43,284
I guess. Yeah.
232
00:12:43,352 --> 00:12:46,020
Eddie, what do you want
for the al sharpton mug?
233
00:12:47,155 --> 00:12:49,023
Hey, Whitey. How are ya?
234
00:12:49,091 --> 00:12:51,359
Good. Good to see ya.
Always good to see ya.
235
00:12:51,426 --> 00:12:52,493
You too.
236
00:12:52,561 --> 00:12:54,662
Hey, who's the guy
with the voice box?
237
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,864
This is my new neighbor Tommy.
238
00:12:56,932 --> 00:12:59,667
Nice meeting you.
Do you like sheep?
239
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,469
I+m crazy about sheep.
240
00:13:01,536 --> 00:13:05,706
If they could vacuum and make a
decent omelet, I'd be a married man.
241
00:13:05,774 --> 00:13:08,409
Ha ha ha! He's funny!
242
00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:11,112
He's a keeper!
243
00:13:11,179 --> 00:13:12,546
So...
244
00:13:12,614 --> 00:13:17,284
What puts the smile
on your face, grandpa?
245
00:13:18,286 --> 00:13:20,821
Well, I'm dating
a woman half my age.
246
00:13:20,889 --> 00:13:23,057
Holla!
247
00:13:24,126 --> 00:13:26,293
You know, Tommy's
wife is young too.
248
00:13:26,361 --> 00:13:28,629
Ashton kutcher young?
Or young young?
249
00:13:28,697 --> 00:13:30,131
Hugh hefner young.
250
00:13:30,198 --> 00:13:33,601
She's old enough to
shave, which she does!
251
00:13:37,706 --> 00:13:39,540
Hey, you got some
great stuff here.
252
00:13:39,608 --> 00:13:41,475
I'll take all of it.
253
00:13:41,543 --> 00:13:43,010
All of it?
254
00:13:43,078 --> 00:13:44,412
Well, Tommy, I think
I have to let you know
255
00:13:44,479 --> 00:13:46,280
That this painting
is very expensive.
256
00:13:46,348 --> 00:13:49,316
It's $26,000.
257
00:13:49,384 --> 00:13:53,054
It's got a sheep in it.
Sold!
258
00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:56,424
You should have taken me up
on that 10%, huh?
259
00:13:56,491 --> 00:13:57,725
Well, it's not too late to.
260
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,727
Yes, it is.
261
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:03,130
Hey, how many positions
on this weight bench?
262
00:14:03,198 --> 00:14:04,532
6.
263
00:14:04,599 --> 00:14:07,701
I'll take it.
264
00:14:14,643 --> 00:14:15,910
Hey.
265
00:14:19,114 --> 00:14:23,984
Here is your
$26,000, Whitey.
266
00:14:24,052 --> 00:14:25,719
Oh, thank you, Joy.
267
00:14:25,787 --> 00:14:27,421
Great. Where's Eddie?
268
00:14:27,489 --> 00:14:29,290
Oh, he's not here.
He's getting a haircut.
269
00:14:29,357 --> 00:14:32,259
Oh, that's too bad.
You know, I cut hair.
270
00:14:32,327 --> 00:14:36,664
I actually even have kinda
a look in mind for Eddie.
271
00:14:36,731 --> 00:14:38,566
Really?
272
00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:42,369
Yeah. I also have
a great joke for him. It's...
273
00:14:42,437 --> 00:14:44,371
Well, why don't you tell me?
274
00:14:44,439 --> 00:14:45,673
Nah, I don't think
you'd get it.
275
00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:47,074
I might.
276
00:14:47,142 --> 00:14:48,375
I doubt it.
Try me.
277
00:14:48,443 --> 00:14:50,244
No.
278
00:14:51,613 --> 00:14:55,082
Well, I guess
if Eddie's not here,
279
00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:57,351
I might as well just take off.
280
00:14:57,419 --> 00:14:59,320
Oh, ok.
281
00:14:59,387 --> 00:15:02,723
Would you like
a cup of tea?
282
00:15:02,791 --> 00:15:04,058
From a bag?
Yeah.
283
00:15:04,126 --> 00:15:05,292
Figures.
284
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,062
You know just 'cause
Eddie's not here
285
00:15:08,130 --> 00:15:09,563
Doesn't mean
that you have to go.
286
00:15:09,631 --> 00:15:11,599
We could just sit and talk.
287
00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:13,334
No, thank you.
288
00:15:13,401 --> 00:15:17,738
That's like going to the white
house and just meeting Michelle.
289
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:28,335
don't you kinda wish
you had a tail
290
00:15:28,403 --> 00:15:29,469
well, I do
291
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:32,072
maybe some gills
and scales
292
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,173
well, I do
293
00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:35,375
how 'bout some wings
so you can fly
294
00:15:35,443 --> 00:15:36,810
I do
295
00:15:36,878 --> 00:15:37,978
the clouds,
and the rainbows
296
00:15:38,046 --> 00:15:41,682
and the waterfalls
in the sky
297
00:15:42,617 --> 00:15:44,985
that's why
298
00:15:45,053 --> 00:15:47,888
animals are better
than people
299
00:15:47,956 --> 00:15:50,357
so, don't you dare eat 'em
300
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:54,895
Oh, that was terrific!
Terrific!
301
00:15:54,963 --> 00:15:59,900
Here. Here's some money.
Why don't you take some lessons?
302
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:02,970
Can I help you?
Who are you?
303
00:16:03,037 --> 00:16:06,206
Oh, I'm the jew
from next door.
304
00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:08,442
I'm Tommy Campbell.
305
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:13,614
I was named after my
father, Tommy Lipchitz.
306
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:14,748
Oh, right.
307
00:16:14,816 --> 00:16:18,885
I heard about you.
Hi, I'm Doug von Stuessen.
308
00:16:18,953 --> 00:16:20,153
Oh, von stuessen.
309
00:16:20,221 --> 00:16:23,557
I believe I met some of
your relatives in argentina.
310
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:26,059
We did not see eye to eye.
311
00:16:26,127 --> 00:16:30,364
Get it? Not see...nazi?
Ha ha ha!
312
00:16:30,431 --> 00:16:33,967
Oh, world war 2
never gets old.
313
00:16:36,504 --> 00:16:39,806
This is my wife allie.
314
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,541
Oh, we've met.
315
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,710
Yeah. Nice to see you again.
316
00:16:43,778 --> 00:16:47,381
Yeah. This is really
a beautiful vehicle.
317
00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:51,018
I noticed it when me and April
were jumping up and down
318
00:16:51,085 --> 00:16:53,220
On the trampoline this morning.
319
00:16:53,288 --> 00:16:56,056
We have about an hour
of tumble time a day.
320
00:16:56,124 --> 00:16:58,525
It's in the contract.
321
00:17:00,128 --> 00:17:02,663
So, how much do you want
for this wagon?
322
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:06,633
Oh, um, well,
see it's not for sale.
323
00:17:06,701 --> 00:17:09,703
Not for sale?
But I could see me and April
324
00:17:09,771 --> 00:17:15,042
Chasing each other around
in here when we play "das boot."
325
00:17:15,109 --> 00:17:16,843
I'm sure you could.
326
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:20,113
But, you see,
this is our home.
327
00:17:20,181 --> 00:17:21,148
I see.
328
00:17:21,215 --> 00:17:24,184
He'd sell me before
he'd sell this place.
329
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,220
I'm listening...
330
00:17:27,288 --> 00:17:29,556
No. No. It was just a joke.
331
00:17:29,624 --> 00:17:31,224
Uh, nothing's for sale.
332
00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:34,294
In fact, we're not motivated
by money.
333
00:17:34,362 --> 00:17:35,662
No, we're not.
334
00:17:35,730 --> 00:17:36,663
Nope.
335
00:17:36,731 --> 00:17:38,398
Boy, April sure is.
336
00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:40,634
You know, she gets
a million dollar bonus
337
00:17:40,702 --> 00:17:42,035
If I die in the sack.
338
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:47,874
Well, actually that offer's
open to anybody. Wink, wink.
339
00:17:49,377 --> 00:17:54,448
I say wink, wink. Because
physically I'm incapable of winking.
340
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:58,318
Well, I guess
there's no sale here.
341
00:17:58,386 --> 00:18:01,288
So, lady, bearded lady,
342
00:18:01,356 --> 00:18:02,556
Adios!
343
00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:17,037
that was a creepy,
creepy man
344
00:18:17,105 --> 00:18:18,505
he sure was
345
00:18:18,573 --> 00:18:21,174
offering money for sex
346
00:18:21,242 --> 00:18:22,342
he sure did
347
00:18:22,410 --> 00:18:25,112
now I feel dirty
and violated
348
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:27,214
and that's why
349
00:18:27,281 --> 00:18:31,251
animals are
better than people
350
00:18:38,226 --> 00:18:39,459
Hey, Eddie!
351
00:18:41,429 --> 00:18:46,233
You wouldn't ever want to change
places with Tommy, would you?
352
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,068
No. Well, first of all,
353
00:18:48,136 --> 00:18:51,405
I like being able
to reach peanut butter.
354
00:18:51,472 --> 00:18:55,275
Honey, listen. My life would be
meaningless without you.
355
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,543
Oh, really?
356
00:18:56,611 --> 00:19:00,614
Really. Come over here
and give me a little sugar.
357
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:04,918
Knock knock!
358
00:19:04,986 --> 00:19:07,888
Whoa! This looks hot!
359
00:19:07,955 --> 00:19:09,689
How are you, Tommy?
360
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:12,926
Boy, you know, what you two
have... this is real love.
361
00:19:12,994 --> 00:19:16,363
Unlike my
shallow existence.
362
00:19:16,431 --> 00:19:18,598
I feel terrible.
363
00:19:18,666 --> 00:19:21,935
Ok. I'm over it.
364
00:19:22,003 --> 00:19:24,671
Tommy, what are you doing
in my house?
365
00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:26,239
I'm looking for food.
366
00:19:26,307 --> 00:19:28,842
April puts a lot stuff
out on the table,
367
00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:31,945
But none of it has
nutritional value.
368
00:19:32,013 --> 00:19:33,580
How about I make you
a ham sandwich?
369
00:19:33,648 --> 00:19:35,749
I'll pay you $800.
370
00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:37,918
Ok.
371
00:19:37,985 --> 00:19:40,587
Oh, and by the way,
I'm putting the word out...
372
00:19:40,655 --> 00:19:44,925
April's available
for babysitting,
373
00:19:44,992 --> 00:19:46,993
Pet-sitting, house-sitting,
374
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,629
Basically anything
that involves sitting.
375
00:19:49,697 --> 00:19:51,865
It's $11.00 an hour
376
00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:56,436
Or a grand
for the whole night. Ha ha!
377
00:19:58,172 --> 00:20:00,707
I'm sure we could
find a place for her to sit.
378
00:20:04,512 --> 00:20:06,480
Marco!
379
00:20:06,547 --> 00:20:10,584
Excuse me. Polo!
380
00:20:10,651 --> 00:20:13,487
There you are.
Oh, don't feed him.
381
00:20:13,554 --> 00:20:15,455
I just sent out
for pizza.
382
00:20:15,523 --> 00:20:16,923
Oh, damn!
383
00:20:16,991 --> 00:20:19,059
Come on, honey. Let's go
home and work up an appetite.
384
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:21,962
Ok. I'll see you two
tomorrow.
385
00:20:22,029 --> 00:20:24,097
If I survive the night.
386
00:20:24,165 --> 00:20:26,066
Either way I'm a winner.
387
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,170
Me too. Goodnight!
388
00:20:30,238 --> 00:20:31,805
Goodnight!
Bye.
389
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,476
Still think your life is
meaningless without me?
390
00:20:36,544 --> 00:20:40,180
Not a good time
to ask me that, Joy.
391
00:20:40,248 --> 00:20:42,282
Not a good time.
392
00:20:44,318 --> 00:20:49,089
So, what puts the smile
on your face...
393
00:20:53,059 --> 00:20:55,762
Little different than doing
a duck, huh, Gilbert?
394
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:08,208
Not so far.
395
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,448
I'll take it!
396
00:21:19,287 --> 00:21:20,887
Sold!
397
00:21:23,791 --> 00:21:26,826
Holla!
Holla!
398
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
399
00:21:31,050 --> 00:21:35,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
28432
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
