All language subtitles for Til Death s04e03 Work.eng

Hello, hello.

Hey.

And how is the
travel agency biz?

I won 7 games of solitaire.

And I went on facebook
and reconnected

With 6 people I hate.

Only 6? I can connect
with people I hate

Every day all day until
the messiah comes back,

Or two-tone shoes,
whatever comes first.

So did you book
any travel?

No, Eddie, we didn't.
We're in a recession.

The only people traveling
are illegal aliens,

And they rarely
go to resorts.

Yeah, except to clean.

Hey, you know who I
blame for all of this?

No, Eddie.
Who do you blame?

William Shatner.

What did the sexiest man
alive ever do to you?

Well, if it
weren't for him,

People would still be dumb enough
to use you to book their travel

Instead of do it
on-line for free.

Ok, come on. Back up.

I'm still on William Shatner
as the sexiest man alive.

Who's your number 2?

It's tie between Dick
Cheney and Victor Garber.

I think we've
learned something today.

Yes, we have. Why don't
we go to dinner?

Ok. How about
middle eastern?

No, because an hour after you
eat it, you're angry again.

Heh. How
about indian?

Indian sounds good. I'd love
me some indian right about now.

Well, then you
should go sometime.

I'm free tonight.

Fantastic. Then why don't
you go tonight? Bye-bye.

Eddie, I think
she wants...

I know what she's doing.
Just walk.

Morning.

Good morning.

Shouldn't you be
getting ready for work?

Actually, I don't
have to go in today.

They're fumigating
the school. Head lice.

God bless the irish.

You workin' on
your Hindenburg book?

Well, I started to,

And then I typed in
"blimp", and this

Is where it led me.
Check that out.

Oh, my God!
What is that?

Well, this is a woman in indiana
nicknamed "The Hindenboob".

That's her
over the super bowl.

That's awful.

Yeah. You think
this is awful,

You should type in "panama
canal" and see what that gets you.

I don't have
time for that.

I gotta get to work.

Oh, no, no, no!
I gotta go before you.

Vindaloo chicken.
I'll be quick.

No. No, no, no.

When you hurry,
I'm mopping for days.

"p-a-n-a-m-a..."

You know, you don't buy
indian food. You just rent it.

I see what you did wrong.

You forgot to put
the "c" in "canal".

Morning, Joy.

Beth?

Yeah?

Either I'm having the most
intense acid flashback,

Or Eddie has
roofied me again.

I'm seeing a sandwich shop
where our office should be.

Yeah, I know. After work,
they made some changes.

I would have called you,
but you were out to dinner.

Where's the travel agency?

It's gone, and we're
out of a job.

Oh, my God!

Hey, you can fill out an
application if you'd like.

That's what I'm doing.

There's one spot left,
but good luck.

I went to vassar.

How's that gonna help
you get a job here?

Oh, it's not, but I just
hooked up with Paco.

- It's a sub shop?
- Yes.

That's incredible. I'm
building a sandwich right now.

Hey, hey. Do me a favor.

Does the provolone go on top of
the salami or after the prosciutto?

I don't think
you're grasping

The enormity of the
situation here, Eddie.

Sure I am, honey.

If you get your meats in the
wrong place, it's anarchy,

And you don't want anarchy in
a world with a unified germany.

Forget I mentioned it.

And the provolone goes
on top of the salami.

Good work, Joy.

All right,
I'll be back soon.

I love you.

Yeah. Ok.

I feel miserable.

Oh, my poor baby.

No, I don't...
I don't want sympathy.

I want medicine.

Ok. Ok. There's Kim park's
holistic pharmacy and petting zoo,

But that's all the way
on the other side of town,

But I can walk over there.

No. Just...
I can't wait that long.

Ask my father
for a ride.

He'll be happy
to take you.

Yeah, but he won't be happy
to bring me back. He hates me.

My father doesn't
hate you, Doug.

That's just his way.

Oh, he does too
hate me, Ally.

Remember that time he drove me
to Trenton and then dropped me off

In the you-know-what section?

What section
was that?

Don't make me say it.
It's a slur.

They live in tiny town.

They rhyme with widgets.

He was just showing you
how he feels everywhere.

That was a cry for help.

No, a cry for help is when those
little bastards were attacking me

And I cried for help.
"just get off me."

I mean, they don't
like our kind, Ally.

They... they call us
"the big'uns."

And I take that as a slur.

Just go, ok?

There are certain things
that I can't do for you

Until my nose
is unstuffed.

Gotcha.

On my way.

Eddie, I can't believe you could
just sit there and eat a sandwich.

Our... our lives
are falling apart.

Honey, come on.
That's not true.

Only your life
is falling apart.

I still have my job,

And, you know, you really
haven't brought in

That much money this
past year, anyway, so...

Are you saying I've brought nothing
to the table this entire time?

No, I am not
saying that.

You've brought pluck.

Pluck?

Yes. You're...
you're very plucky,

And you're...
you're a good mother.

Huh? You see
where I'm goin' here?

Mother plucker?

Yeah, that's it.
That's...

That's good.
It's a good thing.

You know what? You're not
making me feel any better, ok?

All right, look. Honestly,
Joy, we are fine financially.

I'm still teaching.
I'm writing that book.

I got 2 jobs.
We don't even need you.

What?

What I'm saying is I think
this is a wonderful opportunity

For you to become
a trophy wife for a while.

Really?

Absolutely. Not forever, because,
you know, after some time,

You'll begin to sag and droop
and what was once a trophy

Becomes a tragic reminder
of what used to be.

You see? But you still got a lot
of tread on those tires, baby.

Thanks.

Eddie, I needed
to hear that.

Oh, hello, mother stark.
No work today?

Damn it, Doug!

I almost had her in the
boat, and you broke the line.

What did I say?

Never mind.
What do you want?

Well, I was hoping that maybe
you could do me a favor.

No.

It's for Ally.

Aw, God! My kryptonite.

Okay, what is it?
What do you want?

Well, she's got
a bad cold,

And I need a ride
to go get her something

At the homeopathic
pharmacy.

Well, why don't
you just go down the...

Wait a minute. Are you talking
about the place on the east side?

Yeah, right next to the

Naughty pine factory.

Yeah.

- The knotty pine factory?
- No. No, no.

Naughty pine,

As in, "you've been
a naughty boy,

And you've gotta
get a spanking".

They make
hand-carved birds and,

Uh, wooden marital aids.

Oh, wait. Wait, wait.
I know this place.

It's right next to a restaurant
where I like to go for lunch.

Come on. Let's go!

Really?
You don't mind?

No. No, not at all.

We'll grab a bite.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Honey, listen. We're gonna
get out of here for a while.

I gotta take doug to
the homophobic pharmacy.

Can you stop by
naughty pine

And see if my
woodpecker's ready?

I love you.

Yeah. Ok.

Sir, are you sure you
wanna eat at this strip club?

Well, listen. I figure since
we're on our way to the drug store,

Why not make a stop
at the jug store?

Yeah, but my wife,
your daughter, is sick.

I need to get her
some medicine.

Relax, Doug. Women
are strong, you know.

They... they crack
right open,

And another person
shoots out of 'em.

She'll be fine.
Don't worry about it.

Just relax. Here. Look
at the menu, scruffy.

All right, fine.

Is the food any good?

I don't know. I've only eaten
here about 30 or 40 times.

Hi, guys.
What can I get you?

We'll take
a pair of beers

And, an order of wings.

Wait! Wait, wait,
wait. Hold on!

Are you talking about
the wings from chickens?

No, no, no, Doug.
They're angel wings.

I'm sorry, sir. I just
have to ask a few questions.

Wellesley, what kind of
lives did these chickens have

Before they
were slaughtered?

Ok, listen. Those chickens
weren't slaughtered.

Their wings were
just ripped off.

Ok, now they're still
walking around.

Only, now they get
disability checks

And a crazy story to
tell their friends, ok?

So everybody wins,
all right?

We'll take
the beer and wings,

And walk away before he
starts talkin' again, please.

Got it.

I don't understand, sir.

Why do you come
here all the time

If you obviously
don't care about the food?

Let me make it
clear for you.

Sarah Lawrence,
can we...

Get, some water,
please?

Clear?

Abundantly.

Hey, babe.
How you feelin'?

Bad. I can't wait
for Doug to get back.

I feel that way
about your father

When I send him out
for vodka.

What's that?

Uh, it's a Russian
liquor made from potatoes.

I'm going to hit you.

I'm sure you are.
Listen, uh, sweetie,

This always works
when you're sick.

You take a little swig
of this every 15 minutes,

And you'll feel better.

Mom, that stuff
is 40% alcohol.

I said
you'll feel better.

I repeat, what is that?

Oh, this is my resume.

Oh, it's a good start.

I'm finished.

Looks pretty good.

You've got 6 years
as a baby sitter.

That was
in high school.

Ok. And the only thing other than
that on here is the travel agency.

What did you do
in between?

The navy.

Ally, it's a joke.

Yeah, I know. Sorry.

The whole "my mother's a whore"
joke went right over my head.

Let's see!
It says here

That you speak
a foreign language.

Oh, I do!
Here. Listen.

Hello, guvner.

Would you like some
tea and crumpets?

English is not
a foreign language.

Okay, all right.

I know. I know it's
not much of a resume.

I'm still hoping I can charm
my way in somewhere.

You know, it's
a little bit daunting

Looking for a new line of
work at this point in my life.

I feel like I'm the only girl
left at the bar at closing time.

Isn't that
how you met dad?

Twice.

Hey, how are you
on the computer?

Well, we only did it
on the computer once.

We tried to do it
a second time.

I couldn't get him
to reboot.

I'm trying to help you.

Computer skills
are important.

You know what's more
important than computer skills?

People skills.
I have people skills.

Yeah. You're right.

You are going
to be just fine.

Anywhere would be
lucky to have you.

Oh, you're sweet.

I take after you.

I love you.

Yeah. Ok.

So, feelin' better,
huh, babe?

Yeah. Lot better.

That's
my little girl.

How's my big girl, huh?

Is she gettin' ready
for her job hunt?

Yes, Eddie,
and I am so excited.

There's a world of
possibilities out there for me.

Yeah, and they're
all bad.

Vertical integration
has resulted

In what I like
to call "corpthink."

Oh, God!
Not corpthink again.

Yeah. I know you all think this is
some pynchonion, paranoid fantasy,

But it's happenin',
ally, all right?

Before you know it, Bill Gates is
gonna be runnin' the entire world.

Not me.
It's not gonna get me.

Yeah. I have a feeling you're
not on Bill Gates' radar.

You know what?
You know what's funny?

I think Bill Gates
has radar.

I don't even think
he's a human being.

I think he's a cyborg,
and they just made him

Look like a sock puppet
with glasses

So that he won't
seem threatening.

I love Bill Gates.

Me, too.

I'd let him have
his way with me...

And then
I'd make him pay.

See, that's 'cause you all
worship money. I don't.

Yeah, that's because
you don't have any.

The both of you, you're
like 2 little naked birds

Sittin' in a nest.
"feed me".

Yeah, you two should
thank your lucky stars

You got Eddie
two-jobs here.

Hey, I like that.

Eddie two-jobs.

I'm like the most responsible
italian in the world.

Hey, listen, I can't
whack you right now.

Why? I got 2 jobs.

Why don't you
act like a man

Instead of some
Hollywood-type of mamaluke

Who cries like a woman?

Pretty soon we're
gonna be a 3-job family,

'cause I'm gonna go out
and get myself hired.

There you go. You see that?
That's confidence.

And I'm full of it.

Got my resume.
I'm lookin' damn good.

It's gonna be
a piece of cake.

Cheers.

Seinfeld.

Hey, honey!

How was the job search?

There are
no jobs, Eddie.

There is no
nothing anymore.

The economy
is a disaster.

The end is near.
On the way home,

I saw the 4 horsemen
of the apocalypse.

They're looking
for work, too.

Their horses
are very skinny.

And then you know
who I saw?

I saw death.
Death is near death.

It's hopeless.

Come on, now, Joy.
It's not that bad.

No, it is bad.
It is bad, Eddie, ok?

I got turned down
everywhere I went.

I got turned down
as a manicurist,

Largely because Richard
Nixon bailed on Vietnam.

I got turned down at
a hair extension kiosk,

And I've got fantastic
hair that looks fake.

Shall I go on?

Yes. I'm kind of
enjoying this.

Ok, here we go.

I couldn't get a job as a test
subject for bladder medication.

I couldn't get a job

Expressing canine anal
glands at a veterinarian.

I went to google,

And they said
keep searching.

However, however, I did
then get hired finally.

I got a job
as a wine taster,

But they fired me because I
wouldn't spit, I swallowed.

Well, old habits die hard.

All right, well, that was...
That was my day.

How was your day, dear?

Well, I went
to ample d's...

The breastaurant.

It was great.

Glad I could count
on you for support.

Right. You know, now
that you mention it,

Why do you go
to ample d's?

The reason I go
to ample d's

Is because it's a refuge.

It's a sanctuary.

It's a big knocker zoo.

Haven't I been providing
that for you for 23 years?

Yes, you see, but...

Your breasts are
attached to you.

Now, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.

Now, I love them,
and I love you,

But sometimes it's fun
to just go see some...

Fresh cleavage pointing down
at a plate of jalapeno poppers.

Hold on.
Back up, ok?

Did you just say
that you love me?

Yes. Of course.
I love you.

- Finally! - What are
you talking about?

I have been fishing for an
"I love you" for 3 days now,

And all you give me
is "yeah, ok".

Yeah, but see, "yeah, ok".

Is Eddie speak
for "I love you".

It's code.

It's like when I push
on the back of your head.

It's just nice to hear the
words now and again, you know.

Baby, I love you.

I love you, too.

So, do you need
anything from the store?

No. I'm good.

Are... are you sure?

Because I can get you
any... anything you need.

No. I mean, like, I don't want
you to have to walk all over town.

No, that's ok, because,
your dad'll give me a ride.

You actually wanna
spend time with my father?

Oh, he's a...
a fascinating man.

He... keeps abreast...

Of current events.

Ok. Well, I mean,
the only thing that I could use

Is something you're
not gonna wanna get.

Tampons... easy
glide, heavy flow?

Yeah.

Comin' right up.

So, you gonna order
something this time?

No, sir. I'm strictly here
for the healing purposes

Of the water-pouring
ceremony.

Oh, boy, I hope
they hurry up.

I really gotta go to the bathroom,
but I don't wanna miss a drop.

Ok, I'm gonna go
with the...

Hamela Anderson
sandwich and a beer.

Hello, Joy.

I got a job.

Yeah.

So I see.

You know, it's the
crazy thing, too.

They didn't even
look at my resume.

Believe me, they looked
at both of 'em.

Here, Doug. Let me
pour you some water.

No. No, no, no!

I... really need to go
get some tampons.

I'm not even gonna ask.

Well, I have to
hand it to you, Joy.

Only you can
ruin ample d's.

Well, look at the
bright side, Eddie.

I mean, when's the last
time you had a shot

At going home with a
waitress from ample d's?

You know what?
You're right.

Congratulations
to both of us.

Or, all 4 of us,
actually.

Listen, Eddie, I think that
this is a good job for me.

I have the perfect combination
of high and low self-esteem

To make a killing
in this place.

Excuse me, Devry.

Stop fraternizing
with the customers.

And hoist up your girls.

Let's act like we care!

My God, what the hell
are you doing here?

I thought you were
workin' at the sub shop.

They said I was bad
with the customers.

Yeah. You know, I see you over
there. You can stop waving.

We're not in
a damn parade.

All right, go ahead.
Get a look.

Stop pretending like you're
watching the game.

Just look at 'em.
Look at 'em.

You pathetic losers.

You know,
you might wanna

Ice those puppies up
a little.

Well, it's nice to
see that everybody

From the travel agency
landed on their feet,

And when I say,
"feet," I mean...

I know what you mean.

I'm happy for you,
Joy-Joy.

- I love you.
- Yeah, ok.

Hey. How was work?

I got fired.

What? What happened?

They switched to
the summer uniforms.

So what's the problem?

I don't wanna
talk about it.

Are the summer
uniforms sleeveless?

I said I don't
wanna talk about it!

Wellesley,

what kind
of chickens...

Sorry. My bad.

They're so beautiful.

I'm sorry.

All right.
Let me see.

I'm gonna go
with the...

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