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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,734 --> 00:00:04,195 "Graduating seniors... 2 00:00:04,220 --> 00:00:06,460 "my time was... 3 00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:08,646 - "a horse without any legs." - Do-do-do 4 00:00:08,671 --> 00:00:09,870 Hey. You wanted to see me, boss? 5 00:00:09,972 --> 00:00:11,739 Yes. Yes, I did, Coach Fairbell. 6 00:00:11,841 --> 00:00:13,374 Please, uh, have a seat. 7 00:00:13,476 --> 00:00:15,342 We have to have a pretty serious discussion here. 8 00:00:15,444 --> 00:00:17,344 You can sit in the... the chair. 9 00:00:17,446 --> 00:00:19,513 - The chair? - Yeah, that's right. 10 00:00:20,711 --> 00:00:22,311 [Breathes sharply] 11 00:00:22,336 --> 00:00:23,635 Pretty good, right? 12 00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:26,987 What I have to tell you is actually pretty grim. 13 00:00:27,123 --> 00:00:28,448 - "Grimm"? [Chuckles] - Yeah. 14 00:00:28,456 --> 00:00:30,589 - That's my favorite show. - Okay, no, no, no, no. 15 00:00:30,691 --> 00:00:32,358 What I'm saying... Let me ask you this... 16 00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:33,959 if you had all the time in the world, 17 00:00:34,062 --> 00:00:35,227 what would you even do with it? 18 00:00:35,329 --> 00:00:36,562 Easy... just spend more time 19 00:00:36,664 --> 00:00:38,164 with my girls' JV volleyball team. 20 00:00:38,266 --> 00:00:41,033 Extra practice means... boop... extra perfect. 21 00:00:41,135 --> 00:00:43,936 Let... let's say that it was, uh, not here at Smoot. 22 00:00:44,038 --> 00:00:45,938 Let's say it was time away from school. 23 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,150 Then what would you do? 24 00:00:47,175 --> 00:00:48,707 I'd just wait across the street for school to open, 25 00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:49,875 like I do every day. 26 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:50,923 [Whispering] My God. 27 00:00:50,948 --> 00:00:53,494 Okay, well, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, all right? 28 00:00:53,815 --> 00:00:56,015 I had to do next year's budget, and we got to make some cuts. 29 00:00:56,117 --> 00:00:57,917 That's why you're in charge, Big Dog. 30 00:00:58,019 --> 00:01:00,219 What's got to go? English? Math? 31 00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:01,287 Nobody's gonna miss those. 32 00:01:01,389 --> 00:01:03,889 - Cafeteria? I mean, I'll miss it but... - Coach Fairbell, it's you. 33 00:01:03,991 --> 00:01:05,157 I'm hinting at the fact 34 00:01:05,259 --> 00:01:07,593 that it is you that I have to cut, okay? 35 00:01:07,695 --> 00:01:09,528 You. All right? 36 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:12,364 Before you say something heartbreakingly simple, 37 00:01:12,467 --> 00:01:13,699 let me just clarify... 38 00:01:13,801 --> 00:01:16,902 you are being laid off at the end of this week. 39 00:01:17,004 --> 00:01:19,905 [Sobbing] Aaaaah! 40 00:01:20,541 --> 00:01:22,282 Tammy, code red! 41 00:01:22,307 --> 00:01:24,243 I need some tissues. I need some tissues. 42 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,011 No! No! 43 00:01:26,114 --> 00:01:27,346 44 00:01:27,448 --> 00:01:29,682 Quit wasting my time 45 00:01:29,784 --> 00:01:32,184 I ain't here for you 46 00:01:32,286 --> 00:01:34,487 I'm just putting in work 47 00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:36,707 Till my day is through 48 00:01:36,732 --> 00:01:39,951 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 49 00:01:40,161 --> 00:01:41,160 [Sighs] 50 00:01:41,262 --> 00:01:43,529 Just a couple big sales days, Billy, 51 00:01:43,631 --> 00:01:45,831 and then you're in the black. 52 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:49,201 And then Tampa has to love you again, 53 00:01:49,303 --> 00:01:52,743 because money fixes everything. 54 00:01:52,768 --> 00:01:54,039 [Sighs] 55 00:01:54,142 --> 00:01:55,941 [Breathes deeply] 56 00:01:56,043 --> 00:01:57,810 Sell to go home. 57 00:01:57,912 --> 00:01:59,078 [Wheels creaking] 58 00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:01,380 [Whistling] 59 00:02:01,482 --> 00:02:02,848 Oho! 60 00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,783 Good morning, everyone. 61 00:02:04,886 --> 00:02:06,418 - How are we? - Hey, Shoemaker. 62 00:02:06,521 --> 00:02:08,287 How was your lengthy commute this morning? 63 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,689 Well, I'm not quite sure what you're referring to. 64 00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,525 - Sure, you're not. - I was just telling everyone 65 00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:16,128 that real-estate mogul and newly elected mayor Gil Nash 66 00:02:16,230 --> 00:02:18,464 is gonna be Smoot's graduation speaker. 67 00:02:18,566 --> 00:02:20,432 Here? He's speaking here? 68 00:02:20,535 --> 00:02:22,001 I'm so proud. 69 00:02:22,103 --> 00:02:23,335 - Now, now, now... - I can't believe that 70 00:02:23,437 --> 00:02:25,104 you're letting that right-wing lunatic speak. 71 00:02:25,206 --> 00:02:27,840 Hey, that's a Libertarian lunatic, please. 72 00:02:27,942 --> 00:02:30,409 He has done a ton of damage to women's health issues. 73 00:02:30,511 --> 00:02:34,380 His stupid period taxes cost me $148 this month. 74 00:02:34,482 --> 00:02:36,448 Abbey, I keep telling you... if you want a maternity leave, 75 00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:37,983 you have to pay for it somehow. 76 00:02:38,085 --> 00:02:39,718 Fine. I'm not taking this lying down. 77 00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:41,520 Quinn, I am going to stage the biggest protest 78 00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:43,222 - that you have ever seen. - Enough! 79 00:02:43,324 --> 00:02:45,090 Do you need to go back down to your library? 80 00:02:45,193 --> 00:02:46,425 - Fine. - Fine. 81 00:02:46,527 --> 00:02:48,327 I think it's terrific that you're gonna be speaking 82 00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,129 at our graduation ceremony. 83 00:02:50,231 --> 00:02:53,432 And, as this year's Joslyn's graduation rep, 84 00:02:53,534 --> 00:02:55,868 I would love nothing more than to see you do it 85 00:02:55,970 --> 00:02:57,770 in a professor's tunic. 86 00:02:57,795 --> 00:02:58,848 - Now, please, I... - No, no, no, no, no. 87 00:02:58,873 --> 00:02:59,972 No, thank you. No, thank you. 88 00:02:59,997 --> 00:03:03,052 We don't have any extra cash for any cheap swag, so... 89 00:03:03,077 --> 00:03:04,710 Wouldn't be a good salesman if I didn't try. 90 00:03:04,735 --> 00:03:06,345 I'll see you at the same time tomorrow. 91 00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:09,582 You know, Leslie Bronn, I woke up this morning thinking, 92 00:03:09,684 --> 00:03:10,849 "There's a woman 93 00:03:10,952 --> 00:03:13,319 "who likes to sleep in a oversized T-shirt and..." 94 00:03:13,421 --> 00:03:14,853 I sleep in the nude. Beat it. 95 00:03:14,956 --> 00:03:15,988 What are you doing here? 96 00:03:16,013 --> 00:03:17,679 Are you, uh, buying a condominium? 97 00:03:17,704 --> 00:03:18,695 'Cause if you are, 98 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,227 Joslyn's has a line of drapes made from re... 99 00:03:21,329 --> 00:03:23,028 - Whoa! - I said, "Beat it." 100 00:03:23,130 --> 00:03:26,198 101 00:03:26,223 --> 00:03:27,276 [Hawk screeches] 102 00:03:27,301 --> 00:03:28,567 Hawk! 103 00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:30,035 - Oh, my God. Oh, hawk! - Hawk! 104 00:03:30,137 --> 00:03:31,203 Hawk! There's a... 105 00:03:31,305 --> 00:03:32,638 - Oh, sorry! I'm sorry! - Oh, God, I am so sorry. 106 00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:34,106 - I was just looking at that... - I was just looking at this... 107 00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:35,708 - ... beautiful red-tailed hawk. - ... beautiful red-tailed hawk. 108 00:03:35,826 --> 00:03:37,910 - Did I hit your head? Are you... - Oh, no, I'm sure... it's fine. 109 00:03:38,012 --> 00:03:39,712 - Let me get this for you. - Yeah. 110 00:03:39,814 --> 00:03:41,814 "Back Streets of Madrid"? Are you serious? 111 00:03:41,916 --> 00:03:44,009 This was my Bible when I lived in Spain. 112 00:03:44,034 --> 00:03:45,407 - No, no. You lived there. Yes! - Are you serious? 113 00:03:45,432 --> 00:03:46,896 There's the best little route in this. 114 00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:48,160 - It's from the Prado... - Yes. 115 00:03:48,185 --> 00:03:49,217 - ... right to the Hard Rock Cafe. - Hard Rock Cafe. 116 00:03:49,242 --> 00:03:50,522 I know that alley very well. 117 00:03:50,547 --> 00:03:52,113 - Are you serious? - Well... 118 00:03:52,138 --> 00:03:54,760 - You've been there? - Yes. I love the sangr?a. 119 00:03:54,785 --> 00:03:55,951 I was there every night. 120 00:03:55,976 --> 00:03:57,275 I was hooked on their "She's my Cherry Paella." 121 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,075 Oh, I love it... so good! 122 00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,141 I'm sorry. I'm Loren. 123 00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:03,102 - I, uh, I teach Spanish here. Hi. - Oh, hey. Wow. 124 00:04:03,204 --> 00:04:04,470 Yeah, sorry. I-I'm glad I found you. 125 00:04:04,572 --> 00:04:07,406 I heard there was, like, actually a pop-up brewery on the campus. 126 00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:10,009 Apparently, they have, like, some awesome beers. 127 00:04:10,111 --> 00:04:11,777 - Yeah, they... they did. - Oh. 128 00:04:11,879 --> 00:04:13,412 Or... should I say... I did, 129 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,314 Until the man [bleep] on my dreams. 130 00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:16,815 - Oh, man. - I swear to God. 131 00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:18,237 I hate it when men [bleep] on me. 132 00:04:18,262 --> 00:04:19,585 - Ugh, yeah. - 100%. 133 00:04:19,687 --> 00:04:21,153 Well, I mean, this being Denver, 134 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,589 there's, like, a couple breweries around, you know? 135 00:04:23,614 --> 00:04:26,668 So, we can maybe grab a pint or... five? 136 00:04:26,694 --> 00:04:28,260 - Absolutely. - Yeah? 137 00:04:28,331 --> 00:04:29,631 - I'm buying. - Let's, yeah. 138 00:04:29,656 --> 00:04:30,635 Have you heard of Eminem? 139 00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:31,649 - He's underground. - You're kidding. 140 00:04:31,674 --> 00:04:32,931 But he's gonna blow up, I swear to God. 141 00:04:32,956 --> 00:04:33,854 - Really? - Yeah. 142 00:04:33,879 --> 00:04:36,427 Sign a petition to stop Gil Nash from coming to graduation? 143 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:37,879 [Billy laughs] 144 00:04:37,904 --> 00:04:39,399 Chugga-chugga! Chugga-chugga! 145 00:04:39,424 --> 00:04:41,140 You look like the kind of lady 146 00:04:41,242 --> 00:04:43,275 that likes to sleep in an oversized T-shirt, 147 00:04:43,377 --> 00:04:44,743 and, lucky for you, 148 00:04:44,845 --> 00:04:47,179 Joslyn's happens to have a dynamite one. 149 00:04:47,281 --> 00:04:49,248 - Let me go ahead and show you. - Shoemaker, I'm kind of busy. 150 00:04:49,350 --> 00:04:51,653 I'm getting signatures to stop Gil Nash from coming to Smoot. 151 00:04:51,819 --> 00:04:53,052 If you're busy, 152 00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:55,788 what better way to organize those filled days 153 00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:59,291 with the Joslyn's "Class of 2017 Hunks of Smoot" calendar? 154 00:04:59,393 --> 00:05:01,360 I'm not interested in buying anything from someone 155 00:05:01,462 --> 00:05:03,329 who is currently sleeping in the janitor's closet. 156 00:05:03,431 --> 00:05:04,897 Well, that is not... [Laughs] 157 00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:07,433 I am not residing in the school. 158 00:05:07,535 --> 00:05:09,902 That's cra... Y-y-you're way out of line. 159 00:05:10,004 --> 00:05:12,438 - Yeah, everybody knows, Shoemaker. - But... 160 00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:13,772 Hi, guys. 161 00:05:13,874 --> 00:05:16,442 This is my favorite history teacher. 162 00:05:16,544 --> 00:05:18,711 - Okay. - My favorite librarian. 163 00:05:18,782 --> 00:05:20,213 - Oh, how are we... - Okay. 164 00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:21,495 ... this beautiful morning, huh, guys? 165 00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:22,681 - God. - Are you drunk? 166 00:05:22,783 --> 00:05:24,836 - You broke your slump. - I did. 167 00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:25,791 - Ha! Yeah. - [Laughs] 168 00:05:25,886 --> 00:05:27,853 - How do you know that? - Oh, a guy can always tell. 169 00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:29,722 Plus, he's still full bat. 170 00:05:29,824 --> 00:05:30,989 - Oh, God! - Excuse me. Oh, God. 171 00:05:31,092 --> 00:05:33,992 I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm so excited, you know? 172 00:05:34,095 --> 00:05:36,195 Jade is incredible. I-I honestly think she's the one. 173 00:05:36,554 --> 00:05:38,931 [Both laughing] 174 00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:40,466 But I'm serious. She's smart... 175 00:05:40,568 --> 00:05:41,800 - What? - Oh, you're serious. 176 00:05:41,902 --> 00:05:43,635 ... independent. She's really funny. 177 00:05:43,738 --> 00:05:44,970 Plus, she taught me it's not cool 178 00:05:45,072 --> 00:05:46,438 to refer to women as [bleep]. 179 00:05:46,540 --> 00:05:47,573 - Mm. - Yeah. 180 00:05:47,675 --> 00:05:49,108 - I think I might be woke. - Speaking of woke, 181 00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:51,332 it looks like Fairbell just rolled out of bed. 182 00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:53,278 I guess he's not taking getting fired very well. 183 00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:55,914 Looking good in that sleeping shirt, Coach. 184 00:05:56,016 --> 00:05:57,983 I'm glad I could put you in it. [Chuckles] 185 00:05:58,085 --> 00:05:59,985 Oh, you mean "Soon-to-be-Former Coach." 186 00:06:00,087 --> 00:06:01,353 I know you're down now, man. 187 00:06:01,455 --> 00:06:03,589 I was down once, but look at me now. 188 00:06:03,691 --> 00:06:04,857 I'm on top of the world, 189 00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:06,592 and it's all because of my new [bleep]... 190 00:06:06,694 --> 00:06:07,826 Ugh! Nope. 191 00:06:07,851 --> 00:06:08,880 ... girlfriend. 192 00:06:08,905 --> 00:06:09,919 [Cellphone vibrates] 193 00:06:09,997 --> 00:06:11,530 - Oh, there she is now. - [Scoffs] 194 00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:13,031 She wants to hang out after school. 195 00:06:13,134 --> 00:06:15,222 Guys, this is getting serious... fast. 196 00:06:15,247 --> 00:06:17,747 Well, if it's getting serious, Loren, 197 00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:19,777 - perhaps you should show.... - Hey, Fairbell. 198 00:06:19,856 --> 00:06:20,821 You should fight this. 199 00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:22,123 How? 200 00:06:22,225 --> 00:06:23,791 Stage a sit-in, hunger strike... 201 00:06:23,893 --> 00:06:26,160 you know, you're a smart guy... 202 00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:28,963 you're Fairbell. You'll figure it out. 203 00:06:29,096 --> 00:06:30,440 Huh. 204 00:06:30,465 --> 00:06:32,066 - Hi... - I am Fairbell. 205 00:06:33,336 --> 00:06:35,670 This is the best date I've ever had in my entire life. 206 00:06:35,772 --> 00:06:37,071 I cannot believe I finally met a girl 207 00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:40,174 who's down to watch all seven "Fast and Furious" films, consecutively. 208 00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:43,177 I mean, are you kidding? I thought it was so sweet that you cried 209 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,013 when Paul Walker took that left, and you were just bawling. 210 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:48,649 I mean, you're just so in touch with your emotions. 211 00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:50,103 I mean, that's 'cause of you. 212 00:06:50,128 --> 00:06:52,420 I'm not afraid to be myself around you. 213 00:06:52,522 --> 00:06:54,955 And, I was wondering if you'd be my girlf... 214 00:06:55,058 --> 00:06:56,357 my woman friend. 215 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:59,660 Will you accept this Joslyn's premium brand key chain 216 00:06:59,762 --> 00:07:00,861 as a token of my love? 217 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:02,196 [Breathes sharply] 218 00:07:02,298 --> 00:07:05,199 Well, I do live my life one quarter mile at a time. 219 00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:06,367 [Both laugh] 220 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,503 - From "Fast and Furious." - [Laughs] 221 00:07:09,268 --> 00:07:11,238 No, no. 222 00:07:11,823 --> 00:07:12,840 223 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:13,972 [Chuckles] 224 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,502 Girls, I'd love to work 225 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,371 some of our favorite drills together, 226 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,907 but I'm afraid my hunger strike has left me too weak. 227 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,475 It's gonna be worth it, though, 228 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:28,512 when the administration sees how they were wrong to... 229 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,715 Coach, how long has it been since you last eaten? 230 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,850 I don't even know anymore. It's all a haze. 231 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,653 Two or maybe even three... 232 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:36,987 hours? 233 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,523 234 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,527 - Quinn, you wanted to see me? - Yes. 235 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,496 Come in and, uh, shut the door, please. 236 00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,798 Look, if this is about the Gil Nash protest, 237 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,300 I think you need to stop right there because... 238 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,135 Look, you're not Loren's best friend. 239 00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:52,837 So, I'm just gonna come out and say it... 240 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,371 you probably haven't even noticed that 241 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,073 he has a bit more pep in his step. 242 00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:57,641 Yeah. Everyone has noticed. 243 00:07:57,744 --> 00:08:00,044 They were [bleep] each other in the faculty parking lot. 244 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,346 Don't you mean that he was [bleep] her? 245 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:03,647 - No. - Wow. 246 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,416 That explains the extra $75 charge. 247 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:06,784 What are you talking about? 248 00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:10,076 I... ordered Loren... 249 00:08:10,101 --> 00:08:12,702 a lady of the night. 250 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:14,892 Uh, Jade is a prostitute? 251 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,460 - Yes. She's a prostitute. - [Laughing] Oh, my God. 252 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,762 It's not funny, okay? 253 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,230 I did it to help Loren break his streak. 254 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,288 [Laughing] It's funny. 255 00:08:20,313 --> 00:08:22,366 It's not funny, 'cause now they're dating, 256 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:23,634 and she has my credit-card number. 257 00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:26,726 Abbey, $300 for a lookout mountain BJer. 258 00:08:26,751 --> 00:08:27,817 [Laughs] 259 00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:29,917 Well, why don't you just stop paying her? 260 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:32,743 I can't, because then Loren's gonna find out the truth, okay? 261 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,044 And that is where you come in. 262 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,347 I will allow you to protest Gil Nash's speech 263 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:40,050 if you can help me break up Jade and Loren, organically. 264 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,685 I do think it's hilarious 265 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,788 that Loren is dating a prostitute, 266 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,524 but this is my opportunity to save a woman from sex work. 267 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:49,660 [Laughing] But Loren is such a [bleep] in this scenario. 268 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,132 - But... - Abbey! 269 00:08:52,593 --> 00:08:55,032 Okay, Quinn. I'll do it. You got a deal. 270 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,031 Great. 271 00:08:56,056 --> 00:08:58,953 Time for this fox to go on the hunt. 272 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,972 [Cellphone buzzes] 273 00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:04,642 What is a Detroit tonsillectomy?! 274 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:05,976 My God, Loren. 275 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:07,611 [Sultry music plays] 276 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,747 Hey. What's up, Loren? 277 00:09:09,772 --> 00:09:11,435 Oh, hey, Abbey. What's up? 278 00:09:11,827 --> 00:09:14,177 - Uh, nothin'. - Okay. 279 00:09:14,202 --> 00:09:17,298 [Sighs] Whatcha doin'? 280 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:20,090 Oh, I'm just grading papers, thinking about Jade. 281 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:23,294 She has really opened you up, sexually. 282 00:09:23,319 --> 00:09:24,551 - Oh, yeah, she has. - Yeah. 283 00:09:24,576 --> 00:09:26,497 Other day, she had three fingers inside of me before I... 284 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,065 Oh, I know. We all saw it in the parking lot. 285 00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:29,921 - Um. - Oh. Right. 286 00:09:29,949 --> 00:09:33,014 Ever since you, uh, broke your streak, 287 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,372 you seem, um, different. 288 00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,540 I really like it. 289 00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:37,708 Yeah, it's 'cause I'm woke now. 290 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,243 [Laughs] Whatever. 291 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:40,644 [Bleep] Abbey. 292 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,647 Whatever... whatever it is, it's, uh... 293 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,282 I think it's hot. 294 00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:48,419 Abbey, this mole has definitely grown over the semester... 295 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:49,954 - Okay. - ... and there's a big old hair in it. 296 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,856 Oops. [Laughs] 297 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,124 Yeah, you can keep the pen. 298 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,893 I got, like, so many more of those. 299 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,094 Why don't you break up with Jade, 300 00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:59,063 and you and I can, like, have some fun together? 301 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,598 First of all, I'm flattered, you know? 302 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,200 But, second of all, you are so gross. 303 00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,568 [Scoffs] You know what? Forget it. 304 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:07,538 I'm... I'm... There's more than one way to skin a cat. 305 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,673 No, no, no, there's not. There's just the one way. 306 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,408 Yeah, the guy lies flat on his back, 307 00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:14,111 - and then she's in heels and squats. - Oh, geez. 308 00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:16,480 Well, my hunger strike may have been ignored, 309 00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:19,216 but now I'll use my body's pure muscle 310 00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:20,584 as an immovable object 311 00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,821 to keep you from getting access to my office. 312 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,289 So, if you want in there to clean it, 313 00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:26,724 you're gonna have to run me over. 314 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:27,892 All right. 315 00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,093 Ohh! 316 00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:30,194 [Groaning] 317 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,363 Don't mess up the bottom of my cart, Fairbell. 318 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,798 - Ohh! - Oh, you're like a little speed bump. 319 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,001 Yeah, a speed bump of justice. 320 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:38,202 321 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,104 Look at this graduation tassel. 322 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:44,642 Now, that is 100% human hair right there. 323 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:45,976 Are there a few bald women 324 00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:47,511 running around Malaysia right now? 325 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,514 I'm sure, but they don't call it "Kuala Lum-rich." 326 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:51,715 [School bell rings] 327 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,218 Okay, well, grab an order form on your way out. 328 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,819 Take... take one, you... 329 00:10:55,913 --> 00:10:57,258 Hey, Shoemaker. 330 00:10:57,283 --> 00:10:59,723 - [Clattering] - [Sighs] 331 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,292 Loren, what are you doing?! 332 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,893 I'm sorry. I'm distracted, 333 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,561 I... Hey, when did you know 334 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,630 that Tampa was, like, the one? 335 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,699 Probably during the third trimester 336 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,567 when her dad pulled a gun on me. 337 00:11:10,662 --> 00:11:12,153 Yeah. I'm just thinking about 338 00:11:12,178 --> 00:11:13,833 taking it to the next level with Jade, you know? 339 00:11:13,866 --> 00:11:16,006 - Awesome. - But I need a good ring. 340 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:17,608 [Chuckling] You need a ring? 341 00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,243 Well, y-you do know that 342 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,945 Joslyn's is the number-one provider of rings 343 00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,913 in the United States and territory of Guam? 344 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,548 Yeah, but those are class rings. 345 00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:25,749 The classiest. 346 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,117 See, your problem is, 347 00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:29,453 right now, y-y-you're thinking of it as a wedding. 348 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:33,855 Don't. Think of it as a graduation into marriage. 349 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,793 Mmm. That does check out. 350 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,094 [Laughs] Yeah, it does. Get up. 351 00:11:37,119 --> 00:11:38,231 - Okay. - Real quick, 352 00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:40,323 I'll show you some items that I'm excited about. 353 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:41,966 354 00:11:41,991 --> 00:11:43,423 - Hello. - Hi. 355 00:11:43,448 --> 00:11:46,016 You must be Loren's girlfriend. 356 00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:48,100 Oh, yeah, I'm Jade. And you are... 357 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,383 Abbey, but it doesn't matter. 358 00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,075 - I... - I love your shirt. 359 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:52,609 Ugh, Gil Nash. What a prick. 360 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,044 - Yeah, he is, right? - Yeah. 361 00:11:54,146 --> 00:11:56,880 I heard he's speaking at your graduation. Gross. 362 00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,182 I mean, someone should take him down a peg. 363 00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,084 I am taking him down a peg. 364 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,419 Why can't the government keep its hands out of my vag, right? 365 00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:05,055 I know, or at least, pay what it costs to get in there, right? 366 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:06,256 [Both laugh] 367 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,273 Oh, listen, though, 368 00:12:07,298 --> 00:12:09,094 that's not what I, uh, came to talk to you about. 369 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,037 Okay. 370 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,663 I heard what's happening with you and Loren, and it's messed up. 371 00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:13,964 You need to break up with him. 372 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,499 Why would I do that? [Chuckles] 373 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,901 Because it's the right thing to do. 374 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,404 You know what? He's having a good time, and so am I. 375 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:23,051 Yeah, but, I mean, you're a... 376 00:12:23,674 --> 00:12:24,740 prostitute. 377 00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:27,388 Okay. [Chuckles] There it is... typical. 378 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,545 Faux feminist, yeah. 379 00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:29,880 - Wait, a faux fem... No! - Okay. 380 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,482 I mean, telling me what to do with my body? 381 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,117 That's something Gil Nash would do, right? 382 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,432 Not a cool chick like you? 383 00:12:35,745 --> 00:12:37,388 Did you... did you just say I was cool? 384 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,523 Yeah, but, you know, what do I know? 385 00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,825 I'm just a dirty old prostitute. 386 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,827 No, you're the coolest! No! 387 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,629 Really? Thank you. I appreciate that. 388 00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:46,964 - [Both laugh] - You know what? 389 00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:49,333 If you ever want to hang out, talk shop, 390 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,768 here is my business card. 391 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:51,969 It's a punch card, so... 392 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,370 [Chuckles] 393 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:56,673 Both: This could be the start of a beautiful friendship! 394 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,609 Oh, my God! "When Harry Met Sally" 395 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,210 is, like, my favorite movie of all time. 396 00:13:00,329 --> 00:13:01,742 - Me, too. - [Laughs] 397 00:13:01,767 --> 00:13:02,713 But, if you'll excuse me, 398 00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,515 I have to go eat Loren's [bleep]. 399 00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:05,523 - Okay. - 'Kay. 400 00:13:05,548 --> 00:13:06,947 - Hey, babe. - Baby. 401 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,289 - No, come on. - Oh! 402 00:13:08,314 --> 00:13:11,109 - Shake, shake, shake, shake-a, shake-a. - Okay, yeah, that's fun. 403 00:13:11,134 --> 00:13:13,289 - God, you are perfect. - You are. 404 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,292 Is that... is that Rick Greene? 405 00:13:15,317 --> 00:13:16,984 Uh. [Chuckles] 406 00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:18,429 Hi, mister. 407 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,197 You've got me confused with someone else. 408 00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,498 - Okay. - Happens all the time. 409 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,666 [Laughs] Okay. 410 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:23,667 You know Dr. Greene? 411 00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:26,236 - Oh, I love those guys. - "Guys"? 412 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:28,539 413 00:13:31,358 --> 00:13:33,177 We're burned. Loren's onto us. 414 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:34,244 You spoke to the whore? 415 00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:35,546 She will blow our cover 416 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,947 in front of the whole [bleep] damn school. 417 00:13:36,972 --> 00:13:39,181 Great. We've got to move back down to Brazil until this whole mess cools over. 418 00:13:39,206 --> 00:13:40,556 No, we don't have to move back down, all right? 419 00:13:40,581 --> 00:13:42,556 We're gonna apologize and get ahead of this whole damn thing. 420 00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:43,425 Get ahead of the thing?! 421 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,329 We're gonna get ahead of the thing, yes. 422 00:13:44,354 --> 00:13:45,940 - You and the prostitute. - It's not me and the prostitute! 423 00:13:45,965 --> 00:13:46,784 You and the prostitute, yeah, no. 424 00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:47,720 You're the one with the [bleep] punch card! 425 00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:48,625 Don't you talk about my punch card! 426 00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:50,494 - [Grunting] - Stop it! 427 00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:51,651 428 00:13:51,676 --> 00:13:54,376 $375 for a rim job?! 429 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:55,966 What is a rim j... 430 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,302 actually, that one's pretty self-explanatory. 431 00:13:58,404 --> 00:13:59,436 Am I interrupting something? 432 00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,472 "Am I interrupting something?" 433 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,207 Abbey, what is going on?! 434 00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:06,610 I gave you one task, and Loren is still racking up charges! 435 00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:08,345 About that... I'm out. 436 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:11,081 Jade is actually an incredible person, 437 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,684 and she realizes that I'm, uh, pretty cool, 438 00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,152 and she wants to hang out on the reg. 439 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:18,021 I just hired her as a prostitute to love Loren. 440 00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,690 Like any best friend would, okay? 441 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,892 And, now, she is bankrupting me! 442 00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,293 Well, I think Jade is great, 443 00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:25,262 and what she does with her body is her business. 444 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,697 Oh, no, it's also my business 445 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,298 because she's now ruining my credit! 446 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,833 - Well, then, just tell Loren. - Never. 447 00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:32,269 He would never forgive me. I'll figure out another way, 448 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,938 but you will not protest Gil Nash at the graduation. 449 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,006 - What? - You broke our deal! 450 00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:37,107 - Fine! - Fine! 451 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,709 I've got a better idea, anyway! 452 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:39,810 - Great! - Fine. 453 00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:40,621 - Fine. - Fine! 454 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:41,996 - Fine. - Fine. 455 00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:44,448 [Chuckling] Well... knock, knock. 456 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,482 Oh, Mr. Shoemaker. 457 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,017 Hope this isn't a bad time. 458 00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:50,100 You could not have picked a worse time to sell me Joslyn's. 459 00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:52,789 And I am sorry about that, but I wanted to tell you 460 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,791 about some new rings that we have 461 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,529 that just came in with my favorite stone... jade. 462 00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:01,031 Again, I'm not interested, so... 463 00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,699 Well, perhaps I could go sell 464 00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:06,236 some of these jade pieces to Loren. 465 00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:07,738 With those beautiful, hazel eyes... 466 00:15:07,763 --> 00:15:10,369 Quinn, I know that Jade's a prostitute! 467 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,544 Now, unless you outfit this graduation 468 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:14,811 with Joslyn's gear, 469 00:15:14,836 --> 00:15:17,636 I will tell Loren, and it will crush him! 470 00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:20,951 You... wouldn't... dare... 471 00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:23,921 tell... Loren... that... 472 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:29,059 I... hired... a... prostitute. 473 00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:30,294 Oh, I would, 474 00:15:30,319 --> 00:15:33,286 Unless you're willing to turn this graduation 475 00:15:33,311 --> 00:15:36,010 into a rad-duation. Am I right? 476 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,852 That's a great name... "rad-duation." 477 00:15:39,608 --> 00:15:41,007 Kyle. Kyle. 478 00:15:41,109 --> 00:15:42,809 Help me find the key. A raccoon took it. 479 00:15:42,911 --> 00:15:44,411 - Kyle! - Fairbell. 480 00:15:44,513 --> 00:15:46,646 - [Sighs] - Did you sleep here? 481 00:15:46,748 --> 00:15:47,981 Yes. 482 00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:49,983 I tried everything to save my job. 483 00:15:50,085 --> 00:15:51,484 I didn't eat for three hours, 484 00:15:51,586 --> 00:15:52,786 I laid down on the floor, 485 00:15:52,888 --> 00:15:55,121 I chained myself to this door, and nothing worked. 486 00:15:55,223 --> 00:15:57,190 Yeah, because all those things are super lame. 487 00:15:57,292 --> 00:15:58,925 You've got to do something huge. 488 00:15:59,027 --> 00:16:00,160 [Scoffs] Like what? 489 00:16:00,262 --> 00:16:02,462 [Chuckling] Well, let me just tell you that, 490 00:16:02,564 --> 00:16:04,264 when I get done with Gil Nash, 491 00:16:04,366 --> 00:16:08,568 his period tax is gonna go up in flames. 492 00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:10,270 Up in flames. 493 00:16:10,372 --> 00:16:12,172 Maybe I do know what to do, after all. 494 00:16:12,602 --> 00:16:14,635 Well, if you'll excuse me, 495 00:16:14,730 --> 00:16:17,131 - I've got to go find some pig's blood. - Gasoline. 496 00:16:17,233 --> 00:16:18,165 Ugh! Oh! 497 00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:19,574 - [Thuds] - Aaah! 498 00:16:19,668 --> 00:16:22,236 ["Pomp and Circumstance" plays] 499 00:16:22,338 --> 00:16:23,937 [Laughs] 500 00:16:24,039 --> 00:16:26,240 These kids look really hot, Shoemaker. 501 00:16:26,342 --> 00:16:27,641 The hottest. 502 00:16:27,743 --> 00:16:28,909 That's because they're wearing 503 00:16:29,011 --> 00:16:31,845 the new Joslyn's brand executive graduation robe. 504 00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,448 - It's lined with real gray wolf fur. - Whoa! 505 00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:35,949 Wolf fur... perfect for summer. 506 00:16:36,051 --> 00:16:38,519 You know, I can sense your sarcasm, Abbey. 507 00:16:38,621 --> 00:16:41,355 I'm sorry you had to buy your own crappy robes. 508 00:16:41,457 --> 00:16:42,723 I'm glad we did buy our own robes. 509 00:16:42,825 --> 00:16:44,758 These kids are sweating like a whore in church. 510 00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:47,060 Or in graduation, am I right? 511 00:16:47,163 --> 00:16:48,595 Quinn came to me, and he said, 512 00:16:48,697 --> 00:16:50,631 "Shoemaker, I want to make this 513 00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:53,367 "the greatest graduation we've ever had." 514 00:16:53,469 --> 00:16:54,635 Isn't that right, Geoffrey? 515 00:16:54,737 --> 00:16:57,070 [Laughs] It certainly is. 516 00:16:57,173 --> 00:17:00,073 Please help me welcome your friend 517 00:17:00,176 --> 00:17:04,478 and reformed citizen, Geoffrey Quinn! 518 00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:06,180 Hey. 519 00:17:06,282 --> 00:17:07,848 Hello. 520 00:17:07,934 --> 00:17:10,967 Welcome to 2017's... 521 00:17:10,992 --> 00:17:13,795 rad-duation! 522 00:17:13,889 --> 00:17:16,356 [Laughs] 523 00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,235 [Young man coughs] 524 00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:20,460 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome 525 00:17:20,563 --> 00:17:23,497 the new mayor of Denver, Mr. Gil Nash! 526 00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:25,833 [Cheers and applause] 527 00:17:27,269 --> 00:17:32,005 Ah. Well, uh, I may not have the, uh, fancy slogans 528 00:17:32,107 --> 00:17:34,474 - the Principal Quinn has... - [Laughter] 529 00:17:34,577 --> 00:17:36,109 but I think what he's trying to say is 530 00:17:36,212 --> 00:17:38,545 that we are all here to celebrate 531 00:17:38,647 --> 00:17:42,549 the Smoot High graduating class of 2017! 532 00:17:42,651 --> 00:17:45,118 [Cheers and applause] 533 00:17:45,221 --> 00:17:48,889 Now, I'm sure all of you are looking forward 534 00:17:48,991 --> 00:17:50,858 to the challenges ahead, 535 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,227 but maybe also feeling a little sad 536 00:17:53,329 --> 00:17:54,928 about leaving Smoot behind. 537 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:58,699 I mean, it's mere minutes away from shopping and nightlife, 538 00:17:58,801 --> 00:18:00,300 with prime green spaces, 539 00:18:00,402 --> 00:18:01,869 and how about those mountain views? 540 00:18:01,971 --> 00:18:06,673 Ooh! Smoot is literally an oasis 541 00:18:06,775 --> 00:18:10,077 smack-dab in the middle of the Mile High City. 542 00:18:10,179 --> 00:18:11,511 543 00:18:11,536 --> 00:18:13,803 Whether you're an up-and-coming professional 544 00:18:13,828 --> 00:18:15,694 or new empty nesters, 545 00:18:15,951 --> 00:18:18,719 - Smoot is an amazing community! - [Breathing heavily] 546 00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:20,587 Till they turn their back on you! 547 00:18:20,689 --> 00:18:21,922 Son, I'm in the middle of something, here, okay? 548 00:18:22,024 --> 00:18:23,457 Yeah, my gymnasium... 549 00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:26,293 at least, it was until they took it away from me. 550 00:18:26,395 --> 00:18:27,728 You smell like gasoline? 551 00:18:27,830 --> 00:18:29,062 Oh, you mean protest juice? 552 00:18:29,164 --> 00:18:30,898 No, you... you, li... Oh, God, you're covered in gasoline. 553 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,099 - Whoa! - Whoa! 554 00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:33,367 Okay. I'm not gonna take it anymore. 555 00:18:33,469 --> 00:18:34,935 I'm not gonna be ignored. 556 00:18:35,037 --> 00:18:36,770 And these colors don't run. 557 00:18:36,872 --> 00:18:38,405 I'm gonna do exactly what Abbey told me to 558 00:18:38,507 --> 00:18:40,540 and light myself on fire. 559 00:18:40,643 --> 00:18:42,609 Oh, no, no, no. That's not what I said! 560 00:18:42,711 --> 00:18:44,278 [All gasping] 561 00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:45,512 Fairbell, no, no, no. 562 00:18:45,614 --> 00:18:47,948 This is all for you, Smoot! 563 00:18:48,050 --> 00:18:49,283 [Screaming] 564 00:18:49,385 --> 00:18:51,184 [Screaming] 565 00:18:51,287 --> 00:18:52,586 [Indistinct shouting] 566 00:18:52,688 --> 00:18:54,922 Oh! I didn't know it was gonna be so hot! 567 00:18:55,024 --> 00:18:56,857 [Screaming] 568 00:18:56,959 --> 00:19:00,327 - Ugh! - Aah! 569 00:19:00,429 --> 00:19:01,595 - Ohh. - Ugh. 570 00:19:01,697 --> 00:19:03,497 Nothing ever works out for me! 571 00:19:03,599 --> 00:19:06,266 I can't even stay lit on fire! 572 00:19:08,304 --> 00:19:10,170 Oh, hell. 573 00:19:10,272 --> 00:19:11,471 Woman: Oh! 574 00:19:11,573 --> 00:19:13,140 All this blood is making the kids faint! 575 00:19:13,242 --> 00:19:15,108 - Are they fainting? - It's not that. 576 00:19:15,210 --> 00:19:16,710 It's these crazy hot robes. 577 00:19:16,812 --> 00:19:18,011 The zippers are defective. 578 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,180 Who sold the kids these... robes?! 579 00:19:20,282 --> 00:19:21,248 - [Indistinct shouting] - It's Shoemaker! 580 00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:22,382 Kill him. 581 00:19:22,484 --> 00:19:24,584 - Yeah. - Kill him! 582 00:19:24,687 --> 00:19:25,886 Okay, everybody. 583 00:19:25,988 --> 00:19:27,721 [Chuckling] Cooler heads prevail. 584 00:19:27,823 --> 00:19:31,224 There is a simple explanation for... 585 00:19:31,327 --> 00:19:34,027 No refunds! Not any refunds! There's no refunds! 586 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,662 Joslyn's... 587 00:19:35,764 --> 00:19:37,127 [Indistinct shouting] 588 00:19:37,152 --> 00:19:38,055 Oh! 589 00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:39,533 Is there a doctor in the house?! 590 00:19:39,635 --> 00:19:40,801 No. 591 00:19:40,903 --> 00:19:43,236 There's a doctors in the house. 592 00:19:43,339 --> 00:19:44,705 He's right. 593 00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:48,031 We are, and have always been, two Dr. Greenes. 594 00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:51,517 But right here, on this stage right now, 595 00:19:51,747 --> 00:19:53,647 we are revealed! 596 00:19:53,749 --> 00:19:56,416 Revealed! 597 00:19:56,518 --> 00:19:58,051 Who gives a [bleep]? 598 00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,920 - That got nothing? Zero. - Nothing? 599 00:20:00,022 --> 00:20:01,231 That should've gotten so much more than that. 600 00:20:01,256 --> 00:20:02,079 That should've gotten way more. 601 00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:03,123 Hey. Hey, Doublemint. 602 00:20:03,225 --> 00:20:04,691 There's kids dying. Go help 'em. 603 00:20:04,793 --> 00:20:06,184 But you admit that there should've been more of a reaction? 604 00:20:06,209 --> 00:20:07,121 Yes, fine. Go help. 605 00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:08,546 - Thank you very much. - Thank you. 606 00:20:08,571 --> 00:20:09,801 [Indistinct shouting] 607 00:20:09,826 --> 00:20:10,541 Woman: Oh. 608 00:20:10,566 --> 00:20:12,566 Geoffrey Quinn, you're under arrest. 609 00:20:12,668 --> 00:20:14,735 Hey! Get your hands off me, boy! 610 00:20:14,837 --> 00:20:16,970 Vachara, this is Quinn. 611 00:20:17,072 --> 00:20:18,905 Under arrest? What for? 612 00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:20,674 - For soliciting a prostitute. - [All gasp] 613 00:20:20,776 --> 00:20:23,710 But that wasn't for me... that was for my best friend. 614 00:20:23,812 --> 00:20:26,213 What? [Scoffs] 615 00:20:26,315 --> 00:20:27,948 Jade, is this true? 616 00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:29,149 Are you a prostitute? 617 00:20:29,251 --> 00:20:30,517 Shut the [bleep] up. [Chuckles] 618 00:20:30,619 --> 00:20:32,519 - I can't believe... - I'm so sorry, Loren. I-I never... 619 00:20:32,612 --> 00:20:36,122 ... that you would do something so awesome for me, Quinn. 620 00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:37,534 You did this to help me get through my slump? 621 00:20:37,559 --> 00:20:38,592 Yeah. [Chuckling] Yeah. 622 00:20:38,694 --> 00:20:40,772 - That is best-friend stuff, man. - Oh! 623 00:20:40,797 --> 00:20:41,741 Thank you. 624 00:20:41,766 --> 00:20:44,241 You saying that... and that's gonna sustain me... 625 00:20:44,266 --> 00:20:45,432 What do you think? 626 00:20:45,534 --> 00:20:46,633 One to three? 627 00:20:46,735 --> 00:20:48,535 ... one to three years of best friendship. 628 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,492 - [Laughs] - Yeah. 629 00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:50,570 Bring it in here, best friend. 630 00:20:50,672 --> 00:20:52,372 - You got it. - Come on, let's go. 631 00:20:52,474 --> 00:20:54,374 [Indistinct conversations] 632 00:20:54,476 --> 00:20:58,512 God. My girlfriend is a prostitute. 633 00:20:58,614 --> 00:21:00,013 Yeah. It looks like your girlfriend 634 00:21:00,115 --> 00:21:01,248 - is getting arrested. - [Handcuffs clicking] 635 00:21:01,350 --> 00:21:02,482 Jade! 636 00:21:02,584 --> 00:21:03,683 Jeff, bring me over. 637 00:21:03,786 --> 00:21:06,219 Jade, it doesn't bother me that you're a prostitute. 638 00:21:06,321 --> 00:21:08,288 I don't care if you've slept with every guy in Denver. 639 00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:09,890 I have. [Chuckles] 640 00:21:09,992 --> 00:21:11,591 I don't care about what you do for a living. 641 00:21:11,693 --> 00:21:13,144 - All I care about is what's right here - Oh! 642 00:21:13,169 --> 00:21:14,761 - and, also, your heart. - Oh! 643 00:21:14,863 --> 00:21:16,163 And that's why I'll wait for you. 644 00:21:16,265 --> 00:21:18,098 - I don't care how long... - Probably only be like 12 hours. 645 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,233 I know Jeff, and I can suck my way out of anything. 646 00:21:20,335 --> 00:21:21,334 Well, then I guess I only have 647 00:21:21,437 --> 00:21:23,870 one question left for you, Jade Falcon Kerouac. 648 00:21:23,972 --> 00:21:25,672 Oh, my God. What is it? 649 00:21:25,774 --> 00:21:26,807 [Chuckling] Oh! 650 00:21:26,909 --> 00:21:28,341 Will you marry me? 651 00:21:28,444 --> 00:21:30,343 - [All aww] - [Gasps] 652 00:21:30,446 --> 00:21:31,344 - Seriously? - What? 653 00:21:31,447 --> 00:21:33,013 - You're gonna gasp at that? - Come on. 654 00:21:33,115 --> 00:21:34,815 That's what gets a ga... that's a soap-opera gimmick, people. 655 00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:36,016 We are twins. 656 00:21:36,041 --> 00:21:36,975 - Secret twins. - Secret twins. 657 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,381 You got to stop talking at the same time. Stop it. 658 00:21:38,406 --> 00:21:39,204 Shh! 659 00:21:39,229 --> 00:21:40,261 The whore was about to answer. 660 00:21:40,589 --> 00:21:41,788 Thank you. 661 00:21:41,890 --> 00:21:43,857 So? What do you say? 662 00:21:44,472 --> 00:21:45,692 - Yes, yes. - Yes? 663 00:21:45,717 --> 00:21:47,394 Yes, I would love to be Mrs. Loren Payton. 664 00:21:47,496 --> 00:21:48,829 - Really? - Yes, yes! 665 00:21:48,931 --> 00:21:50,864 [Laughs] Oh. Oh. 666 00:21:50,973 --> 00:21:52,606 667 00:21:52,701 --> 00:21:53,771 - [Chuckles] - She kissed me on the mouth. 668 00:21:53,796 --> 00:21:55,345 - I did. - Guys, she kissed me on my mouth. 669 00:21:55,377 --> 00:21:56,811 - Yeah! - Yes! 670 00:21:56,836 --> 00:21:58,904 I've never seen a whore do that. 671 00:22:00,391 --> 00:22:01,791 Oh, hey, look at that. 672 00:22:01,893 --> 00:22:04,334 Your, uh, cold sore's coming in nicely, there. 673 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,593 It's chapped lips, dude. It's unrelated. 674 00:22:06,695 --> 00:22:09,262 No, it is not. That is an aggressive herpe 675 00:22:09,364 --> 00:22:11,198 from that new fianc?e of yours. 676 00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:13,481 Fianc?e? I like the sound of that. 677 00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:14,557 [Chuckles] 678 00:22:14,582 --> 00:22:16,169 How'd you get her to quit her job? 679 00:22:16,194 --> 00:22:18,695 Oh, no, I didn't. No, between our two salaries, 680 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,140 she's the breadwinner in the family. 681 00:22:20,242 --> 00:22:21,408 - Oh. - Literally, she's working 682 00:22:21,510 --> 00:22:23,176 the Orowheats conference downtown this weekend. 683 00:22:23,278 --> 00:22:26,305 Oh, wow. Loren, I think that you might finally have gotten woke. 684 00:22:26,329 --> 00:22:28,296 If my fianc? was getting whack-a-moled 685 00:22:28,391 --> 00:22:29,790 by eight guys in a hotel room, 686 00:22:29,892 --> 00:22:32,093 - I don't think that I could handle it. - I couldn't. 687 00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:33,308 I guess I never thought of it that way. 688 00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:34,125 Yeah. 689 00:22:34,150 --> 00:22:36,797 Or at all, really, but I'm cool with it. 690 00:22:36,899 --> 00:22:39,367 Yeah. I'm cool... I'm cool with... 691 00:22:39,469 --> 00:22:41,454 Well, you should be, 'cause Jade is awesome. 692 00:22:41,479 --> 00:22:42,937 - Yes. - She gave me her business card, 693 00:22:43,039 --> 00:22:44,905 said that if I ever wanted to change careers, 694 00:22:45,008 --> 00:22:46,240 give her a call, huh? 695 00:22:46,342 --> 00:22:47,441 Yeah. You'll stay busy 696 00:22:47,543 --> 00:22:49,143 because there are plenty of sickos 697 00:22:49,245 --> 00:22:51,279 - with ginger fetishes in this world. - Yes. 698 00:22:51,381 --> 00:22:52,713 Oh, you guys are too sweet. 699 00:22:52,815 --> 00:22:55,516 Yeah. I had a pretty kickass night myself. 700 00:22:55,618 --> 00:22:58,085 Tampa found out about my economic windfall, 701 00:22:58,187 --> 00:22:59,720 and she said, "I want you to come home." 702 00:22:59,822 --> 00:23:00,688 - Hey. - Oh! 703 00:23:00,790 --> 00:23:03,591 Yeah. I'm renting the basement... 704 00:23:03,693 --> 00:23:05,293 for $2,500 a month. 705 00:23:05,395 --> 00:23:06,794 - Wait, $2,500? - Yeah. 706 00:23:06,896 --> 00:23:09,397 Yeah, that is steep for a none-bedroom, 707 00:23:09,499 --> 00:23:11,065 but I'm 15 feet away 708 00:23:11,167 --> 00:23:13,801 from being part of my family again, so... 709 00:23:13,903 --> 00:23:16,404 Ohh! I just had the coolest thing happen to me. 710 00:23:16,506 --> 00:23:18,806 - The mayor just called me. - No way. 711 00:23:18,908 --> 00:23:20,408 Yes, huh. Yes, huh. And guess what... 712 00:23:20,510 --> 00:23:23,077 He just made me the new principal. 713 00:23:23,179 --> 00:23:24,445 - What? - Are you serious? 714 00:23:24,547 --> 00:23:27,248 Yeah. Since Quinn got arrested again, it's me! 715 00:23:27,350 --> 00:23:28,649 I'm the principal! 716 00:23:28,751 --> 00:23:31,018 Yeah, he said he'd never seen passion like mine before, 717 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:33,421 and anyone who's willing to "self-imitate" 718 00:23:33,523 --> 00:23:34,655 in front of everyone 719 00:23:34,757 --> 00:23:36,657 is exactly the kind of stable principal 720 00:23:36,759 --> 00:23:38,059 that Smoot deserves. 721 00:23:38,161 --> 00:23:41,195 No way. In what world are you my boss? 722 00:23:41,297 --> 00:23:43,064 - This one, right now. - Shut up. 723 00:23:43,166 --> 00:23:45,933 Fairbell, principal. Wow. 724 00:23:46,035 --> 00:23:48,336 Abbey, you ought to protest Gil Nash over this bull[bleep] 725 00:23:48,438 --> 00:23:51,272 I'm done protesting. If Fairbell really is principal, 726 00:23:51,374 --> 00:23:55,009 then I'm gonna spend some time on Abbey. 727 00:23:55,111 --> 00:23:57,578 Besides, how bad can a real-estate mogul 728 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,480 turned politician be? [Chuckles] 729 00:23:59,582 --> 00:24:00,948 [Ominous music plays] 730 00:24:01,042 --> 00:24:04,577 Giving the job to that flaming volleyball coach was genius. 731 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:05,646 Ha! 732 00:24:05,685 --> 00:24:07,528 I was gonna put lead in the drinking fountain 733 00:24:07,591 --> 00:24:09,607 but this will ruin the school so much quicker. 734 00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,684 Yep. And after Captain Deep[bleep] 735 00:24:11,709 --> 00:24:13,857 runs Smoot into the ground... 736 00:24:14,028 --> 00:24:16,121 - You get your corner unit... - Ah ah. 737 00:24:16,146 --> 00:24:21,273 ... and I get my mixed use condo. 738 00:24:21,891 --> 00:24:25,062 [both laugh ominously] 739 00:24:25,086 --> 00:24:28,656 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 740 00:24:28,706 --> 00:24:33,256 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 53980

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