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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,785 --> 00:00:04,685 The orphan elephant soon finds a new friend. 2 00:00:04,686 --> 00:00:06,986 runt duckling named Deedee. 3 00:00:07,187 --> 00:00:08,987 How is this a tv show? 4 00:00:08,988 --> 00:00:11,488 Oh, give us a chance Amber, it's a whole marathon. 5 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,189 and I was hoping you'd enjoy watching it with me. 6 00:00:13,190 --> 00:00:15,490 I'd conservatively see why you'd think that, 7 00:00:15,491 --> 00:00:19,591 given my self gooey center and extensive ducky collection. 8 00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:21,492 Welcome to game night! 9 00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:23,393 Oh the elderly. 10 00:00:23,694 --> 00:00:25,194 If we get out of here and go to your house, 11 00:00:25,195 --> 00:00:26,295 I'll watch whatever you want. 12 00:00:26,296 --> 00:00:28,096 Deal! After the next commercial. 13 00:00:28,097 --> 00:00:30,897 While these species are different, 14 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:34,098 watch as they find common ground in their play 15 00:00:34,282 --> 00:00:37,082 Okay, the game tonight is Taboo. 16 00:00:37,786 --> 00:00:39,436 Teams are men versus women. 17 00:00:39,471 --> 00:00:41,171 Oh, perfect. Me versus you three. 18 00:00:41,189 --> 00:00:42,823 Is this gonna start already? 19 00:00:42,857 --> 00:00:45,609 Okay, very simple rules. The card has a word on it. 20 00:00:45,627 --> 00:00:48,462 You try to get your partner to say it by giving clues. 21 00:00:48,496 --> 00:00:50,614 Oh, wait. Slow down. It's just so complicated. 22 00:00:50,648 --> 00:00:53,367 I mean, when you humans moved unknowingly 23 00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,835 into our gated community of aliens, 24 00:00:54,869 --> 00:00:56,704 I knew there was much you had to teach us, 25 00:00:56,738 --> 00:00:58,706 but are we really ready for "Taboo"? 26 00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:00,157 Oh, just ignore him. 27 00:01:00,175 --> 00:01:03,027 He gets expositional when he gets nervous. 28 00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:05,629 Okay, okay, this first word is my favorite shade of... 29 00:01:05,664 --> 00:01:08,048 - Lavender! - Oh! Good. Okay. 30 00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:10,200 Uh, next one... my grandmother was born... 31 00:01:10,235 --> 00:01:11,869 - Florida. - More specific. 32 00:01:11,903 --> 00:01:13,420 Uh, Miami Beach, backseat of a Vega. 33 00:01:13,455 --> 00:01:16,473 - Ding! Wee unstoppable! - Yes! 34 00:01:16,507 --> 00:01:18,525 - Okay, ooh, this is my favorite color. - Red! 35 00:01:19,194 --> 00:01:20,418 Blue! 36 00:01:20,419 --> 00:01:21,119 Violet? 37 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,687 - Pass. - Okay. 38 00:01:22,797 --> 00:01:25,366 Uh, so, um, oh... this word is also my middle name. 39 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,567 - Carol! - What? 40 00:01:26,618 --> 00:01:29,693 Stacy? Violet? Pass. 41 00:01:30,338 --> 00:01:32,056 Pass. Pass. 42 00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:33,540 Pass. 43 00:01:33,575 --> 00:01:35,326 Let me guess... pass? 44 00:01:38,346 --> 00:01:42,098 Um... I got it! 45 00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:45,118 Sad man, domineering wife, poor eating habits, 46 00:01:45,169 --> 00:01:46,285 and a family that doesn't respect him? 47 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,087 I'd like to switch teams. 48 00:01:50,207 --> 00:01:52,792 Someone's eating his feelings. 49 00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:55,662 Hey, buddy. 50 00:01:55,696 --> 00:01:57,397 You're greeting someone... saying hello. 51 00:01:57,431 --> 00:01:59,065 Heya, buddy. 52 00:01:59,099 --> 00:02:00,933 I don't know what the fist thing... I don't know. 53 00:02:00,968 --> 00:02:03,036 - Heya, buddy. Heya... heya, buddy. - What is that? 54 00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:05,171 - Hey! Hey! - J... j... just do something else besides... 55 00:02:05,205 --> 00:02:07,590 Ooh! Time's up! Time's up. 56 00:02:07,624 --> 00:02:09,475 It was "Friends," you idiot! 57 00:02:09,526 --> 00:02:10,943 Well, why didn't you try and get me there a different way? 58 00:02:10,978 --> 00:02:13,613 Why didn't you say, "the show that made Courteney Cox famous"? 59 00:02:13,647 --> 00:02:15,448 - W... what? "Cougar Town?" - No, the first one. 60 00:02:15,482 --> 00:02:17,316 Courteney Cox did something besides "Cougar Town"? 61 00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:19,952 Could we just stop game night 62 00:02:19,987 --> 00:02:22,638 and watch some good old network tv, please? 63 00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:24,857 On a Friday night? 64 00:02:24,892 --> 00:02:26,175 No, gracias. 65 00:02:48,332 --> 00:02:50,867 sync by bellows - corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com 66 00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,835 Family, I think we can safely say 67 00:02:53,853 --> 00:02:56,405 we just learned the human concept of boredom. 68 00:02:56,439 --> 00:02:59,007 They're the masters in that shabizzle, yo. 69 00:02:59,042 --> 00:03:01,493 Father, urban slang is a bad look on you. 70 00:03:01,527 --> 00:03:03,478 Did it not strike you as odd that Debbie Weaver 71 00:03:03,512 --> 00:03:04,730 seemed to know so little about me? 72 00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,598 Odd? No. Typical? Yes. 73 00:03:06,632 --> 00:03:07,866 But they're your friends. 74 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:10,352 Eh, maybe that's winding down. 75 00:03:10,386 --> 00:03:12,437 Just when I think Marty Weaver and I are getting close, 76 00:03:12,472 --> 00:03:13,905 I am reminded that the man and I 77 00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:16,558 have absolutely nothing in common. 78 00:03:16,592 --> 00:03:17,909 Perhaps our two species have... 79 00:03:17,944 --> 00:03:19,411 No business playing games together. 80 00:03:19,545 --> 00:03:22,001 Oh, you're just saying that 'cause you lost. 81 00:03:22,381 --> 00:03:25,199 Oh, Deb, you only won because Jackie knew every answer. 82 00:03:25,217 --> 00:03:27,051 I mean, you didn't know a... 83 00:03:27,102 --> 00:03:29,020 Single thing about you. 84 00:03:29,054 --> 00:03:30,655 Totally whack. 85 00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:33,540 Oh, yes, Dick, I hear it now. It's not good. 86 00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:35,943 Perhaps the "B" in bff stands for... 87 00:03:35,978 --> 00:03:38,412 Bad friend... why am I like that? 88 00:03:38,447 --> 00:03:40,698 Well, hon, you know, you have a big personality. 89 00:03:40,732 --> 00:03:43,968 Well, that's just a nice way of saying "self-absorbed." 90 00:03:44,019 --> 00:03:45,786 It's not even that nice of a way. 91 00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:47,455 We should have called Max and Abby downstairs. 92 00:03:47,489 --> 00:03:48,889 They would have distracted Dick Butkus 93 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,207 from counting every... 94 00:03:50,242 --> 00:03:51,726 10,000 calories in 45 minutes. 95 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,961 We need to help him take better care of himself. 96 00:03:53,996 --> 00:03:56,197 Oh, my poor, misguided ginger son. 97 00:03:56,231 --> 00:03:58,666 Marty Weaver is a nearly extinct dinosaur 98 00:03:58,700 --> 00:03:59,967 trapped in a tar pit. 99 00:04:00,002 --> 00:04:02,119 And the tar is made of melted spray cheese. 100 00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:05,106 Then it falls to me. I will save Marty Weaver. 101 00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:07,024 Dick, who are you talking to? 102 00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:11,478 Ohh. Marty, roll over. 103 00:04:11,496 --> 00:04:14,832 You sound like Louie Anderson trying to get out of a pool. 104 00:04:16,134 --> 00:04:18,118 Deborah, may I speak to you for a second? 105 00:04:18,153 --> 00:04:19,737 Dick, how long have you been 106 00:04:19,771 --> 00:04:21,739 standing there watching us sleep? 107 00:04:21,773 --> 00:04:23,440 Tonight? Just a few minutes. 108 00:04:23,475 --> 00:04:25,859 - Tonight? - Meet me down in the kitchen. 109 00:04:25,894 --> 00:04:28,128 Okay. 110 00:04:29,764 --> 00:04:32,216 Dick, are you here because of Jackie? 111 00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:34,518 Is she mad I knew so little about her? 112 00:04:34,552 --> 00:04:36,970 Can we not get derailed with the "All about Debbie" show? 113 00:04:36,988 --> 00:04:38,522 Geez, Dick. 114 00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:40,707 I can't stop thinking about Marty's eating. 115 00:04:40,742 --> 00:04:42,192 Okay, Dick, I'm gonna stop you right there 116 00:04:42,226 --> 00:04:43,994 because I've been fighting this losing battle for years. 117 00:04:44,028 --> 00:04:47,014 - So unless you have some alien technology... - Even better. 118 00:04:47,048 --> 00:04:49,733 I make him think he is helping me. 119 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,652 Oh, Dick, that's a bit obvious. 120 00:04:51,686 --> 00:04:53,503 It's like every "I love Lucy." 121 00:04:53,538 --> 00:04:54,988 Fine, but if Marty's heart explodes... 122 00:04:55,006 --> 00:04:57,157 ... you got some 'splainin' to do! 123 00:05:05,399 --> 00:05:07,334 Marty Weaver, I need you to get me in shape. 124 00:05:07,468 --> 00:05:10,687 In a rare, adorable moment, the frail duckling attempts 125 00:05:10,771 --> 00:05:13,339 to groom the much larger elephant. 126 00:05:13,374 --> 00:05:15,458 I love watching you watch tv. 127 00:05:15,493 --> 00:05:18,328 Let's snuggle. 128 00:05:18,362 --> 00:05:22,082 A world of stop. What are you doing? 129 00:05:22,206 --> 00:05:24,340 Footsie hands. Isn't that a thing? 130 00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:25,408 It's two things. 131 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,776 You either hold hands or you touch feet. 132 00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,728 You're so specific about what you like. 133 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,246 I'm doing the best I can, all right? 134 00:05:30,281 --> 00:05:32,882 I'm sitting here listening to you coo over a duck. 135 00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:35,635 Mm. 136 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,173 That's still so, so wrong. 137 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,943 - Jack! Hey, Lar. - Hey, "Deh." 138 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,779 Are you still watching that insipid show? 139 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:49,214 It's a 24-hour Bogo and Deedee marathon. 140 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,983 We're up to episode 10 of what USA today hails 141 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,954 as "a heartwarming look at an interspecies friendship." 142 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,489 And against all odds, my heart is thawing. 143 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,358 Oh, grow a pair, Amber. 144 00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,693 If I learned anything 145 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,394 from last night's horrendously awful party, 146 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:05,314 it's that interspecies friendships have their limits. 147 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,967 Is that duck licking an elephant? 148 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,935 This is gonna end in a world of hurt. 149 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,804 See you "Amb." See you, Reg. 150 00:06:15,225 --> 00:06:16,658 And I woke up in the middle of the night, 151 00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:18,844 I was so upset about that game. 152 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,996 Well, also Dick was staring at me. 153 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,664 Do you know he watches us sleep? 154 00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,983 Tuesdays and Fridays are his shift. 155 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,452 And that is going to be a discussion for another day. 156 00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:28,787 But I felt so bad 157 00:06:28,838 --> 00:06:30,839 that I couldn't answer questions about you. 158 00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:33,242 Like, what is your favorite color? 159 00:06:33,276 --> 00:06:35,027 Light rust. 160 00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:37,212 - Middle name? - Bus stop. 161 00:06:37,247 --> 00:06:39,331 See, I should know that. 162 00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:42,050 I'm afraid I've let us become a one-sided friendship. 163 00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:43,252 How can I explain it? 164 00:06:43,286 --> 00:06:44,853 Is it like when you dictate what we do 165 00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:47,055 and when we do it and what aspect of you we talk about, 166 00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:48,290 so that I know everything about you 167 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,691 but you know absolutely nothing about me? 168 00:06:49,726 --> 00:06:53,645 Huh. That. Yes. But I want to change. 169 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,314 Let me follow you around today, 170 00:06:55,365 --> 00:06:56,949 ask you questions, find out about you. 171 00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,301 Like right now, what are you doing? 172 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:03,355 Oh, I'm getting ready to shoot my new video. 173 00:07:03,789 --> 00:07:05,573 It's for fellow recorder enthusiasts. 174 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,142 I have eight followers. 175 00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:09,928 Well, consider me your ninth. How can I help? 176 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:12,480 You could press the red button, friend. 177 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,382 You got it, friend! 178 00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:17,135 - Okay. - All right. 179 00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:41,775 Are you writing messages on your phone? 180 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:44,061 No. 181 00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:45,497 I'm sorry. 182 00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:48,199 I said today would be all about you, and it still is. 183 00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:51,252 It's okay. You probably won't like what's coming next, either. 184 00:07:51,286 --> 00:07:52,620 I have a big hair appointment. 185 00:07:52,654 --> 00:07:55,873 Ooh, a salon! I love Jackie day! 186 00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:58,375 As a matter of fact, let's get rid of all distractions. 187 00:07:58,410 --> 00:07:59,493 Give me your phone. 188 00:07:59,527 --> 00:08:03,514 Girl power! Girl day! Let's go! 189 00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:04,882 Boom. 190 00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:07,735 Hey, no one disturb us, okay?! 191 00:08:07,769 --> 00:08:10,187 We're diving into lake Jackie! 192 00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:17,278 And... 193 00:08:17,312 --> 00:08:19,914 We're headed to lake Jackie. 194 00:08:19,948 --> 00:08:21,615 Hey, Dick, can I let you in on a secret? 195 00:08:21,650 --> 00:08:23,200 Bro code in full effect. 196 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,819 I know this is hard to believe, 197 00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:26,637 but I haven't exercised in six months. 198 00:08:26,671 --> 00:08:30,124 But now I can get a little work in while I help you. 199 00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:34,145 Now, what is it you'd like to do? 200 00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,513 Do you want to increase muscle mass 201 00:08:35,564 --> 00:08:36,797 or do you want to just tone up? 202 00:08:36,815 --> 00:08:39,633 - Yes. - Okay. All right. 203 00:08:39,651 --> 00:08:41,652 You know what we need to do? We're gonna start slow. 204 00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:43,487 This is a treadmill. 205 00:08:44,906 --> 00:08:47,324 Now, this is the best way to get your heart rate up. 206 00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:49,643 To do that I usually just watch Hoda and Kathie Lee 207 00:08:49,661 --> 00:08:51,478 get hammered on the "Today" show. 208 00:08:51,496 --> 00:08:52,830 Yeah, I hear you. 209 00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:55,199 Okay, why don't you come around here? We'll start slow. 210 00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:59,537 And hop up on there. Okay, start slow. 211 00:08:59,588 --> 00:09:02,339 And I'll give you some music for inspiration. 212 00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:20,642 With a long journey ahead of them, 213 00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:23,695 Bogo gives the duckling a ride on his back. 214 00:09:23,746 --> 00:09:24,896 Seriously? 215 00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:26,798 You couldn't write this. 216 00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:29,016 Why is my son on your back? 217 00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:30,318 Larry, I was teaching him how to use the treadmill. 218 00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:31,602 He slipped, and he hurt his ankle. 219 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:34,255 Oh, my precious boy! 220 00:09:34,289 --> 00:09:37,492 Damn it, Marty! He had such beautiful ankles! 221 00:09:37,526 --> 00:09:39,310 You see, I told you somebody would get hurt! 222 00:09:39,344 --> 00:09:40,344 Father, you were talking about 223 00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:41,913 a cuddly little duckling and an elephant. 224 00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:44,131 - And I still am. - Oh, that's nice, Larry! 225 00:09:44,149 --> 00:09:45,867 That's real nice! 226 00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:47,535 Yelling won't help him. 227 00:09:47,569 --> 00:09:50,221 - How do you feel? - I think I'm all right. 228 00:09:50,272 --> 00:09:52,023 Okay, good. 229 00:09:54,076 --> 00:09:57,145 That's normal, right? 230 00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:59,313 - What do we do? - What do we do? 231 00:09:59,347 --> 00:10:00,782 - I'll call Jackie. - Ooh, I'll call Debbie. 232 00:10:15,378 --> 00:10:18,298 And sometimes they don't like it here if you don't buy product. 233 00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:21,101 - So you should... - Jackie, come on. I know today is your day. 234 00:10:21,135 --> 00:10:22,202 But I've been to a salon before. 235 00:10:22,236 --> 00:10:24,304 Oh. Hi! 236 00:10:24,338 --> 00:10:26,473 Jackie! 237 00:10:26,807 --> 00:10:29,325 Wow, miss popularity, look at you. 238 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,045 Hi, Shirley. 239 00:10:31,179 --> 00:10:33,413 Jackie J! The curls are working, girl. 240 00:10:33,447 --> 00:10:35,882 Okay? 241 00:10:35,916 --> 00:10:37,650 When I don't understand the words that they're using, 242 00:10:37,684 --> 00:10:40,336 I just say "okay" as if it's a question. 243 00:10:40,387 --> 00:10:42,539 - Okay. - Okay? 244 00:10:42,573 --> 00:10:43,723 Well... 245 00:10:43,741 --> 00:10:47,126 Valerie, I see you're finally reading "Gone Girl." 246 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,595 Isn't it as good as I said? 247 00:10:48,629 --> 00:10:50,213 How long have you been coming here? 248 00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,866 Oh, just a few months, ever since I saw a documentary 249 00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,517 about black women and their hair. 250 00:10:54,552 --> 00:10:57,070 - Apparently, it's a whole thing. - Huh. Who knew? 251 00:10:57,104 --> 00:11:00,223 - Mm. Relaxers and afros and weaves. - Oh, my. 252 00:11:00,257 --> 00:11:02,842 But the salon experience is not just about hair. 253 00:11:02,877 --> 00:11:05,812 We also talk about husbands and children 254 00:11:05,846 --> 00:11:08,414 and something called a "Rihanna" who apparently 255 00:11:08,449 --> 00:11:10,783 has no sense and keeps going back. 256 00:11:10,918 --> 00:11:12,502 Oh, I love it! 257 00:11:12,553 --> 00:11:14,153 Introduce me. Show me around. 258 00:11:14,188 --> 00:11:16,322 You've never said that to me before. 259 00:11:16,356 --> 00:11:18,875 Jackie, this is now a two-sided friendship. 260 00:11:18,909 --> 00:11:22,128 - I want to see your side. - Okay. 261 00:11:22,546 --> 00:11:25,965 Shirley, I want to introduce you to somebody. 262 00:11:27,099 --> 00:11:28,584 You brought your accountant? 263 00:11:28,618 --> 00:11:29,636 - Okay? - No, no. 264 00:11:31,104 --> 00:11:33,022 Sorry. I'm Debbie Weaver. 265 00:11:33,056 --> 00:11:34,340 Hello, Debbie. 266 00:11:34,374 --> 00:11:36,909 So, you came to hold Jackie's hand on her big day? 267 00:11:36,943 --> 00:11:40,229 Shirley talked me into trying a new hairstyle. 268 00:11:40,263 --> 00:11:41,497 I'm getting my hair braided. 269 00:11:41,548 --> 00:11:43,833 Oh, wow! Braids... those are fun. 270 00:11:45,218 --> 00:11:46,468 Hey, as long as we're doing things your way, 271 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,453 maybe I should get some. 272 00:11:47,487 --> 00:11:50,556 Fun! We can be twins. 273 00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:52,491 - Shirley? - Tonya, get the white girl a smock! 274 00:11:52,509 --> 00:11:54,910 Yay. 275 00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:57,980 Come on. 276 00:11:58,431 --> 00:12:00,782 It should just be a few more minutes and the doctor will be in. 277 00:12:00,817 --> 00:12:03,802 Hold on, mustache. It's been over an hour. 278 00:12:03,836 --> 00:12:05,036 For an emergency room, 279 00:12:05,054 --> 00:12:07,105 you don't act like it's an emergency. 280 00:12:07,139 --> 00:12:09,775 Larry! Thank you, nurse. Thank you. 281 00:12:10,109 --> 00:12:12,277 For the third time, I'm telling you 282 00:12:12,311 --> 00:12:14,145 you have to be polite or they ignore you. 283 00:12:14,179 --> 00:12:15,647 Please, Larry, just trust me. 284 00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:17,616 Said the man who destroyed my son's chance 285 00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:19,417 at a career in ankle modeling. 286 00:12:19,452 --> 00:12:21,887 Do you carry those around with you? 287 00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:23,855 There was a vending machine. Back off. 288 00:12:23,889 --> 00:12:28,126 Larry, are you 100% sure that the X-ray machine's 289 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,395 not gonna show that he's an alien under this? 290 00:12:30,429 --> 00:12:34,482 Of course. It's not a suit. How stupid can you be? 291 00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,134 You know, I really miss the Debbie-Jackie buffer, 292 00:12:36,168 --> 00:12:38,103 because this, just you and me, it doesn't work for me. 293 00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:39,487 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, fart. 294 00:12:39,522 --> 00:12:41,806 I'm getting milk. 295 00:12:41,824 --> 00:12:46,094 Poor Dick. Would tv cheer you up? 296 00:12:46,128 --> 00:12:49,014 I'll never say no to "Pretty Little Liars." 297 00:12:49,048 --> 00:12:51,283 But there's no remote. 298 00:12:51,317 --> 00:12:53,902 Hey! 299 00:12:53,953 --> 00:12:55,887 You! 300 00:12:55,922 --> 00:12:58,691 My son needs a tv remote. 301 00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:03,244 I said my son needs a remote. 302 00:13:03,279 --> 00:13:04,879 I'm sorry. If you'll just give me a few more minutes. 303 00:13:04,930 --> 00:13:08,566 No. My son wants to watch "Pretty Little Liars." 304 00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:11,752 He needs a remote, and I don't see why he has to wait. 305 00:13:11,837 --> 00:13:14,088 He loves "Pretty Little Liars." 306 00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:15,690 Just find him a remote! 307 00:13:15,724 --> 00:13:16,924 Like I said! 308 00:13:16,958 --> 00:13:20,577 Give my son the remote!! 309 00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:27,268 Thank you very much. 310 00:13:30,655 --> 00:13:32,239 Ah, is it such a hair-don't, 311 00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:34,558 that it doubles back and becomes a hair-do? 312 00:13:34,592 --> 00:13:36,610 Almost. 313 00:13:36,644 --> 00:13:37,944 It's so tight I can't stop smiling. 314 00:13:37,979 --> 00:13:39,012 Is that normal? 315 00:13:39,047 --> 00:13:42,049 Girl, nothing about you is normal. Okay? 316 00:13:43,151 --> 00:13:45,769 I'll tell you what else isn't normal... 317 00:13:46,938 --> 00:13:49,373 Later. 318 00:13:49,407 --> 00:13:51,658 I've never had my hair hurt. 319 00:13:51,709 --> 00:13:54,210 Hey, Valerie, you tell Walter if he doesn't stop his nonsense, 320 00:13:54,228 --> 00:13:56,213 you're bringing over Shirley to give him some braids. 321 00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:58,681 Speaking of, it's been almost two hours. 322 00:13:58,699 --> 00:13:59,966 Is anybody gonna braid my hair? 323 00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:02,619 Jackie, has it been that long? 324 00:14:02,653 --> 00:14:04,287 I have to get home and start dinner. 325 00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:07,090 Of course. You're ready to go, so I guess we're going. 326 00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:08,792 - Oh, Jackie, I didn't... - Didn't you? 327 00:14:08,826 --> 00:14:11,878 You even managed to take this over. Unbelievable. 328 00:14:11,929 --> 00:14:14,548 Thank you so much, Debbie, for putting me be in charge today. 329 00:14:14,599 --> 00:14:16,049 Did you learn a lot about me 330 00:14:16,134 --> 00:14:18,718 while you talked and you got my hair? 331 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,387 Oh, Jackie, I'm sorry. 332 00:14:20,438 --> 00:14:23,306 I just wanted your friends to like me. 333 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,609 Congratulations. They do. I don't. 334 00:14:25,643 --> 00:14:27,677 Oh, Jackie, wait! 335 00:14:29,864 --> 00:14:31,514 I look like Predator. 336 00:14:31,532 --> 00:14:33,683 Oh, my God, Alien versus Predator. 337 00:14:33,701 --> 00:14:34,701 Jackie, wait! 338 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,691 However, Bogo misunderstands 339 00:14:43,725 --> 00:14:46,143 Deedee's wing flapping as an act of aggression. 340 00:14:46,978 --> 00:14:48,729 Come on, Jackie. I said I was sorry. 341 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,397 Yes, you did. 342 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,599 Reggie Jackson, the house is locked. Where's your father? 343 00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:53,950 - Dick fell. - What?! 344 00:14:53,985 --> 00:14:55,702 - They're at the hospital. - I'll drive you. 345 00:14:55,737 --> 00:14:58,571 No, thank you. I do not need your help, and I never will again. 346 00:14:58,589 --> 00:15:02,976 Although I don't know where the hospital is 347 00:15:02,994 --> 00:15:05,094 - and we don't have a car, so could you... - Let's go. 348 00:15:05,129 --> 00:15:06,130 Thank you. 349 00:15:08,149 --> 00:15:10,601 Did your mom macrame her head? 350 00:15:16,941 --> 00:15:18,058 I swear to you 351 00:15:18,492 --> 00:15:20,243 I pushed the button for raisins and this came out. 352 00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:23,346 Sorry it's been such a wait. I'm Doctor Cohan. 353 00:15:23,697 --> 00:15:25,331 Hey, there, little fella, you got an owie? 354 00:15:25,366 --> 00:15:28,600 Here's a lollipop for being such a real big-boy trouper. 355 00:15:28,635 --> 00:15:31,054 Is he friggin' serious with this? 356 00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:34,306 Now, we're gonna take your son for an X-ray 357 00:15:34,341 --> 00:15:35,542 and see if that ankle's broken. 358 00:15:35,777 --> 00:15:37,977 Broken? Poor Dick. 359 00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:40,429 Promise me he'll get the best care... 360 00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:41,714 not that obamacare 361 00:15:41,748 --> 00:15:44,433 that Fox News says kills old people 362 00:15:44,468 --> 00:15:46,919 and lets illegal Mexicans get gay-married. 363 00:15:46,953 --> 00:15:48,254 No, he's not from around here. 364 00:15:48,288 --> 00:15:51,507 - Dick's gonna be fine, Larry. - Fine is not okay! 365 00:15:51,541 --> 00:15:54,093 On my home planet, the "fine" get banished 366 00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:57,012 to a bleak, filthy moon for the broken and weak, 367 00:15:57,064 --> 00:15:58,848 not unlike your Canada. 368 00:15:58,899 --> 00:16:00,216 I would just ignore him 'cause he gets emotional. 369 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,501 I have a responsibility to the state 370 00:16:02,535 --> 00:16:04,437 to report psychotic behavior. 371 00:16:04,471 --> 00:16:05,938 No. No. Larry, it's okay. 372 00:16:05,972 --> 00:16:08,374 Dick is gone now so you can drop the home-planet act 373 00:16:08,408 --> 00:16:11,177 before the doctor brings in the state 374 00:16:11,211 --> 00:16:12,695 with all the questions. 375 00:16:12,729 --> 00:16:15,164 Oh, yes. Yes. Don't need that. 376 00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:18,452 Okay, so assure the doctor that this was all just a big... 377 00:16:18,487 --> 00:16:19,770 - Dolphin? - Story. 378 00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,405 - For his... - Son? 379 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,406 - Son. - Yes, my son. 380 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,357 - On point. - That's right. 381 00:16:23,391 --> 00:16:25,676 And Larry knows that Dick loves 382 00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:29,246 - stories about aliens and home planets. - Science fiction. 383 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:31,348 - Right, and you were just trying to make Dick... - Laugh. 384 00:16:31,383 --> 00:16:33,200 That's right. He's not crazy. 385 00:16:33,235 --> 00:16:34,518 - He's just a... - Dolphin. 386 00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,653 - No! - Oh. Father. 387 00:16:36,671 --> 00:16:38,005 That's right. That's right. 388 00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:39,690 And despite our differences 389 00:16:39,724 --> 00:16:43,711 and our inability to communicate without our wives, 390 00:16:43,745 --> 00:16:45,462 we do share one thing in common. 391 00:16:45,497 --> 00:16:47,515 Don't we, Larry? We're both... 392 00:16:47,566 --> 00:16:49,800 - Dads. - Dads. 393 00:16:52,253 --> 00:16:55,155 - And that is how you win "Taboo," my friend. - Oh, yeah. 394 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,392 Okay, well, that was weird. 395 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,893 I'll be back with the X-ray results. 396 00:17:00,928 --> 00:17:02,128 Where's my little Dick? 397 00:17:02,162 --> 00:17:05,081 Oh. Oh, husband, I heard your danger honk. 398 00:17:05,115 --> 00:17:06,082 Oh. 399 00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,551 And... I'm just gonna go. 400 00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,509 So, what you got going on top there, Deb? 401 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,478 Did you guys spend the day at Sandals? 402 00:17:18,529 --> 00:17:20,396 She stole my hairstyle. 403 00:17:20,431 --> 00:17:21,631 I didn't steal anything. 404 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,733 I was just trying to do your thing on your day. 405 00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:26,669 Every lady at that salon loved you and forgot about me. 406 00:17:26,703 --> 00:17:28,287 Go ahead and say it. 407 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,256 The reason why you know nothing about me 408 00:17:30,307 --> 00:17:33,793 and you talk so much is because I'm boring. 409 00:17:33,827 --> 00:17:36,746 Do you honestly think I would spend so much time with you 410 00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:37,747 if you were boring? 411 00:17:38,181 --> 00:17:40,733 - I don't know. - Well, let me be clear. 412 00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:42,902 You are the opposite of boring. 413 00:17:43,536 --> 00:17:46,822 You are the most exciting friend I have ever had. 414 00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:50,175 - You speak 10 languages. - 4,000. 415 00:17:50,209 --> 00:17:52,160 You're great at everything. 416 00:17:52,195 --> 00:17:54,146 You're an alien. 417 00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:57,432 How could I make this better? 418 00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,551 Maybe remember I wasn't always the alien. 419 00:17:59,585 --> 00:18:02,204 Back home, I was the normal one. I was you. 420 00:18:02,238 --> 00:18:04,005 My girlfriends and I would sit around 421 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,408 and talk about nothing and swap secrets 422 00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:08,844 and decapitate foreign marauders. 423 00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:12,531 I just want to be a friend, an equal. 424 00:18:12,565 --> 00:18:14,216 Get over here. 425 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,218 Come on. 426 00:18:16,252 --> 00:18:18,686 Oh, how I loathe the resolution hug. 427 00:18:18,704 --> 00:18:20,889 Good news... just a sprain, not a break. 428 00:18:20,923 --> 00:18:22,390 He'll be up and around in a few days. 429 00:18:22,425 --> 00:18:24,309 Hurrah! Resolution! 430 00:18:24,343 --> 00:18:26,178 Okay. 431 00:18:26,229 --> 00:18:27,512 Oh, my son. 432 00:18:27,547 --> 00:18:32,534 Okay, good. So, can we please get out of here? 433 00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:34,136 I guess your plan to get him healthier 434 00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:35,503 didn't really work out, huh? 435 00:18:35,521 --> 00:18:38,640 Wrong. Today, I got Marty his friend back. 436 00:18:38,674 --> 00:18:40,609 Study after study has proven friendship 437 00:18:40,643 --> 00:18:42,260 is the best thing for the heart. 438 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,646 Aww. 439 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,598 His cholesterol is on you, Debbie. 440 00:18:46,649 --> 00:18:48,817 Ever hear of an egg white? 441 00:18:51,603 --> 00:18:55,489 As a busy mom, I can't let my adult diaper slow me down. 442 00:18:55,524 --> 00:18:57,158 - Mute. - That's why I use... 443 00:18:57,192 --> 00:18:58,960 I can't watch that commercial anymore. 444 00:18:58,994 --> 00:19:01,095 Who's that happy about being 40 and wearing a diaper? 445 00:19:01,129 --> 00:19:02,897 Well, I'm guessing 446 00:19:02,931 --> 00:19:05,900 - this is the last commercial break, right? - And then it's over. 447 00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:09,487 I'm really gonna miss that cold, awkward elephant. 448 00:19:09,521 --> 00:19:11,672 You see, for me, it's really all about the duckling. 449 00:19:11,707 --> 00:19:13,374 I used to hate soft and Fluffy, 450 00:19:13,408 --> 00:19:16,243 but now I just want to squeeze his little face 451 00:19:16,278 --> 00:19:17,461 and tell him I love him. 452 00:19:17,512 --> 00:19:19,130 Yes, I do. 453 00:19:19,181 --> 00:19:21,549 What's happening to me? 454 00:19:21,583 --> 00:19:23,851 Oh, my God, the show's back on! 455 00:19:31,326 --> 00:19:32,910 Give me your foot. 456 00:19:38,066 --> 00:19:40,367 Stupid, Fluffy duckling. 457 00:19:40,402 --> 00:19:41,668 Ooh, here we go... last scene. 458 00:19:42,771 --> 00:19:44,872 - We're home! - Welcome back. 459 00:19:44,906 --> 00:19:45,889 Thank you. 460 00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:47,307 And as another day ends, 461 00:19:47,342 --> 00:19:49,643 the elephant and the duckling prepare for sleep. 462 00:19:50,829 --> 00:19:52,312 Over their time together, 463 00:19:52,346 --> 00:19:55,115 they took on each other's habits and behaviors. 464 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:58,185 They've become less aware of their differences. 465 00:19:58,203 --> 00:20:01,622 But some differences are so big they're insurmountable. 466 00:20:01,656 --> 00:20:03,824 On our last day of filming, 467 00:20:03,858 --> 00:20:06,143 Bogo the elephant tried to show affection 468 00:20:06,177 --> 00:20:08,812 and rolled over on top of the duckling. 469 00:20:11,216 --> 00:20:13,200 - Oh. - My. - God. 470 00:20:13,218 --> 00:20:16,369 Oh, that's hilarious! 471 00:20:16,387 --> 00:20:17,838 Finally, a show besides "Cougar Town" 472 00:20:17,872 --> 00:20:19,473 that knows how to end with a big laugh. 473 00:20:19,507 --> 00:20:22,226 Oh, I love it. 474 00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:32,811 Hello, recorder enthusiasts! Good news! 475 00:20:33,346 --> 00:20:36,631 My song today is going to be Hanson's "Mmmbop!" 476 00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:38,299 But first, I thought that I would address 477 00:20:38,317 --> 00:20:41,069 some of your online comments, so... 478 00:20:41,103 --> 00:20:44,155 For Rikers inmate 6432, 479 00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:46,191 I do not play a lot of musical instruments, 480 00:20:46,242 --> 00:20:48,326 so I do not know what a skin flute is. 481 00:20:48,361 --> 00:20:51,145 But starting a band with you sure sounds like fun! 482 00:20:51,163 --> 00:20:53,832 So, today's extra-special treat... 483 00:20:53,866 --> 00:20:57,085 I will be accompanied by my best, best friend, 484 00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,421 Debbie Weaver, on drums. 485 00:20:59,455 --> 00:21:04,009 A 1, a 2, a 1-2-3-4! 486 00:21:11,467 --> 00:21:13,668 Hey! Yeah! 487 00:21:13,686 --> 00:21:16,338 Keep rocking, recorder enthusiasts! 488 00:21:16,372 --> 00:21:19,474 Good night, Hidden Hills! Aah! 489 00:21:19,475 --> 00:21:22,975 sync by bellows - corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com 490 00:21:23,025 --> 00:21:27,575 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36408

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