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1
00:00:01,785 --> 00:00:04,685
The orphan elephant
soon finds a new friend.
2
00:00:04,686 --> 00:00:06,986
runt duckling named Deedee.
3
00:00:07,187 --> 00:00:08,987
How is this a tv show?
4
00:00:08,988 --> 00:00:11,488
Oh, give us a chance Amber,
it's a whole marathon.
5
00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,189
and I was hoping you'd
enjoy watching it with me.
6
00:00:13,190 --> 00:00:15,490
I'd conservatively see
why you'd think that,
7
00:00:15,491 --> 00:00:19,591
given my self gooey center
and extensive ducky collection.
8
00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:21,492
Welcome to game night!
9
00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:23,393
Oh the elderly.
10
00:00:23,694 --> 00:00:25,194
If we get out of here and go to your house,
11
00:00:25,195 --> 00:00:26,295
I'll watch whatever you want.
12
00:00:26,296 --> 00:00:28,096
Deal! After the next commercial.
13
00:00:28,097 --> 00:00:30,897
While these species are different,
14
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:34,098
watch as they find common
ground in their play
15
00:00:34,282 --> 00:00:37,082
Okay, the game tonight is Taboo.
16
00:00:37,786 --> 00:00:39,436
Teams are men versus women.
17
00:00:39,471 --> 00:00:41,171
Oh, perfect. Me versus you three.
18
00:00:41,189 --> 00:00:42,823
Is this gonna start already?
19
00:00:42,857 --> 00:00:45,609
Okay, very simple rules.
The card has a word on it.
20
00:00:45,627 --> 00:00:48,462
You try to get your partner
to say it by giving clues.
21
00:00:48,496 --> 00:00:50,614
Oh, wait. Slow down.
It's just so complicated.
22
00:00:50,648 --> 00:00:53,367
I mean, when you humans moved unknowingly
23
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,835
into our gated community of aliens,
24
00:00:54,869 --> 00:00:56,704
I knew there was much you had to teach us,
25
00:00:56,738 --> 00:00:58,706
but are we really ready for "Taboo"?
26
00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:00,157
Oh, just ignore him.
27
00:01:00,175 --> 00:01:03,027
He gets expositional when he gets nervous.
28
00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:05,629
Okay, okay, this first word
is my favorite shade of...
29
00:01:05,664 --> 00:01:08,048
- Lavender!
- Oh! Good. Okay.
30
00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:10,200
Uh, next one... my grandmother was born...
31
00:01:10,235 --> 00:01:11,869
- Florida.
- More specific.
32
00:01:11,903 --> 00:01:13,420
Uh, Miami Beach, backseat of a Vega.
33
00:01:13,455 --> 00:01:16,473
- Ding! Wee unstoppable!
- Yes!
34
00:01:16,507 --> 00:01:18,525
- Okay, ooh, this is my favorite color.
- Red!
35
00:01:19,194 --> 00:01:20,418
Blue!
36
00:01:20,419 --> 00:01:21,119
Violet?
37
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,687
- Pass.
- Okay.
38
00:01:22,797 --> 00:01:25,366
Uh, so, um, oh... this
word is also my middle name.
39
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,567
- Carol!
- What?
40
00:01:26,618 --> 00:01:29,693
Stacy? Violet? Pass.
41
00:01:30,338 --> 00:01:32,056
Pass. Pass.
42
00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:33,540
Pass.
43
00:01:33,575 --> 00:01:35,326
Let me guess... pass?
44
00:01:38,346 --> 00:01:42,098
Um... I got it!
45
00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:45,118
Sad man, domineering
wife, poor eating habits,
46
00:01:45,169 --> 00:01:46,285
and a family that doesn't respect him?
47
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,087
I'd like to switch teams.
48
00:01:50,207 --> 00:01:52,792
Someone's eating his feelings.
49
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:55,662
Hey, buddy.
50
00:01:55,696 --> 00:01:57,397
You're greeting someone... saying hello.
51
00:01:57,431 --> 00:01:59,065
Heya, buddy.
52
00:01:59,099 --> 00:02:00,933
I don't know what the
fist thing... I don't know.
53
00:02:00,968 --> 00:02:03,036
- Heya, buddy. Heya... heya, buddy.
- What is that?
54
00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:05,171
- Hey! Hey!
- J... j... just do something else besides...
55
00:02:05,205 --> 00:02:07,590
Ooh! Time's up! Time's up.
56
00:02:07,624 --> 00:02:09,475
It was "Friends," you idiot!
57
00:02:09,526 --> 00:02:10,943
Well, why didn't you try and
get me there a different way?
58
00:02:10,978 --> 00:02:13,613
Why didn't you say, "the show
that made Courteney Cox famous"?
59
00:02:13,647 --> 00:02:15,448
- W... what? "Cougar Town?"
- No, the first one.
60
00:02:15,482 --> 00:02:17,316
Courteney Cox did something
besides "Cougar Town"?
61
00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:19,952
Could we just stop game night
62
00:02:19,987 --> 00:02:22,638
and watch some good old network tv, please?
63
00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:24,857
On a Friday night?
64
00:02:24,892 --> 00:02:26,175
No, gracias.
65
00:02:48,332 --> 00:02:50,867
sync by bellows - corrected by chamallow
www.addic7ed.com
66
00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,835
Family, I think we can safely say
67
00:02:53,853 --> 00:02:56,405
we just learned the
human concept of boredom.
68
00:02:56,439 --> 00:02:59,007
They're the masters in that shabizzle, yo.
69
00:02:59,042 --> 00:03:01,493
Father, urban slang is a bad look on you.
70
00:03:01,527 --> 00:03:03,478
Did it not strike you
as odd that Debbie Weaver
71
00:03:03,512 --> 00:03:04,730
seemed to know so little about me?
72
00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,598
Odd? No. Typical? Yes.
73
00:03:06,632 --> 00:03:07,866
But they're your friends.
74
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:10,352
Eh, maybe that's winding down.
75
00:03:10,386 --> 00:03:12,437
Just when I think Marty
Weaver and I are getting close,
76
00:03:12,472 --> 00:03:13,905
I am reminded that the man and I
77
00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:16,558
have absolutely nothing in common.
78
00:03:16,592 --> 00:03:17,909
Perhaps our two species have...
79
00:03:17,944 --> 00:03:19,411
No business playing games together.
80
00:03:19,545 --> 00:03:22,001
Oh, you're just saying
that 'cause you lost.
81
00:03:22,381 --> 00:03:25,199
Oh, Deb, you only won because
Jackie knew every answer.
82
00:03:25,217 --> 00:03:27,051
I mean, you didn't know a...
83
00:03:27,102 --> 00:03:29,020
Single thing about you.
84
00:03:29,054 --> 00:03:30,655
Totally whack.
85
00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:33,540
Oh, yes, Dick, I hear
it now. It's not good.
86
00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:35,943
Perhaps the "B" in bff stands for...
87
00:03:35,978 --> 00:03:38,412
Bad friend... why am I like that?
88
00:03:38,447 --> 00:03:40,698
Well, hon, you know, you
have a big personality.
89
00:03:40,732 --> 00:03:43,968
Well, that's just a nice way
of saying "self-absorbed."
90
00:03:44,019 --> 00:03:45,786
It's not even that nice of a way.
91
00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:47,455
We should have called
Max and Abby downstairs.
92
00:03:47,489 --> 00:03:48,889
They would have distracted Dick Butkus
93
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,207
from counting every...
94
00:03:50,242 --> 00:03:51,726
10,000 calories in 45 minutes.
95
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,961
We need to help him take
better care of himself.
96
00:03:53,996 --> 00:03:56,197
Oh, my poor, misguided ginger son.
97
00:03:56,231 --> 00:03:58,666
Marty Weaver is a nearly extinct dinosaur
98
00:03:58,700 --> 00:03:59,967
trapped in a tar pit.
99
00:04:00,002 --> 00:04:02,119
And the tar is made of melted spray cheese.
100
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:05,106
Then it falls to me. I
will save Marty Weaver.
101
00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:07,024
Dick, who are you talking to?
102
00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:11,478
Ohh. Marty, roll over.
103
00:04:11,496 --> 00:04:14,832
You sound like Louie Anderson
trying to get out of a pool.
104
00:04:16,134 --> 00:04:18,118
Deborah, may I speak to you for a second?
105
00:04:18,153 --> 00:04:19,737
Dick, how long have you been
106
00:04:19,771 --> 00:04:21,739
standing there watching us sleep?
107
00:04:21,773 --> 00:04:23,440
Tonight? Just a few minutes.
108
00:04:23,475 --> 00:04:25,859
- Tonight?
- Meet me down in the kitchen.
109
00:04:25,894 --> 00:04:28,128
Okay.
110
00:04:29,764 --> 00:04:32,216
Dick, are you here because of Jackie?
111
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:34,518
Is she mad I knew so little about her?
112
00:04:34,552 --> 00:04:36,970
Can we not get derailed with
the "All about Debbie" show?
113
00:04:36,988 --> 00:04:38,522
Geez, Dick.
114
00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:40,707
I can't stop thinking about Marty's eating.
115
00:04:40,742 --> 00:04:42,192
Okay, Dick, I'm gonna stop you right there
116
00:04:42,226 --> 00:04:43,994
because I've been fighting
this losing battle for years.
117
00:04:44,028 --> 00:04:47,014
- So unless you have some alien technology...
- Even better.
118
00:04:47,048 --> 00:04:49,733
I make him think he is helping me.
119
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,652
Oh, Dick, that's a bit obvious.
120
00:04:51,686 --> 00:04:53,503
It's like every "I love Lucy."
121
00:04:53,538 --> 00:04:54,988
Fine, but if Marty's heart explodes...
122
00:04:55,006 --> 00:04:57,157
... you got some 'splainin' to do!
123
00:05:05,399 --> 00:05:07,334
Marty Weaver, I need
you to get me in shape.
124
00:05:07,468 --> 00:05:10,687
In a rare, adorable moment,
the frail duckling attempts
125
00:05:10,771 --> 00:05:13,339
to groom the much larger elephant.
126
00:05:13,374 --> 00:05:15,458
I love watching you watch tv.
127
00:05:15,493 --> 00:05:18,328
Let's snuggle.
128
00:05:18,362 --> 00:05:22,082
A world of stop. What are you doing?
129
00:05:22,206 --> 00:05:24,340
Footsie hands. Isn't that a thing?
130
00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:25,408
It's two things.
131
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,776
You either hold hands or you touch feet.
132
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,728
You're so specific about what you like.
133
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,246
I'm doing the best I can, all right?
134
00:05:30,281 --> 00:05:32,882
I'm sitting here listening
to you coo over a duck.
135
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:35,635
Mm.
136
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,173
That's still so, so wrong.
137
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,943
- Jack! Hey, Lar.
- Hey, "Deh."
138
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,779
Are you still watching that insipid show?
139
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:49,214
It's a 24-hour Bogo and Deedee marathon.
140
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,983
We're up to episode 10
of what USA today hails
141
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,954
as "a heartwarming look at
an interspecies friendship."
142
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,489
And against all odds, my heart is thawing.
143
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,358
Oh, grow a pair, Amber.
144
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,693
If I learned anything
145
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,394
from last night's horrendously awful party,
146
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:05,314
it's that interspecies
friendships have their limits.
147
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,967
Is that duck licking an elephant?
148
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,935
This is gonna end in a world of hurt.
149
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,804
See you "Amb." See you, Reg.
150
00:06:15,225 --> 00:06:16,658
And I woke up in the middle of the night,
151
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:18,844
I was so upset about that game.
152
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,996
Well, also Dick was staring at me.
153
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,664
Do you know he watches us sleep?
154
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,983
Tuesdays and Fridays are his shift.
155
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,452
And that is going to be a
discussion for another day.
156
00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:28,787
But I felt so bad
157
00:06:28,838 --> 00:06:30,839
that I couldn't answer questions about you.
158
00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:33,242
Like, what is your favorite color?
159
00:06:33,276 --> 00:06:35,027
Light rust.
160
00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:37,212
- Middle name?
- Bus stop.
161
00:06:37,247 --> 00:06:39,331
See, I should know that.
162
00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:42,050
I'm afraid I've let us
become a one-sided friendship.
163
00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:43,252
How can I explain it?
164
00:06:43,286 --> 00:06:44,853
Is it like when you dictate what we do
165
00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:47,055
and when we do it and what
aspect of you we talk about,
166
00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:48,290
so that I know everything about you
167
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,691
but you know absolutely nothing about me?
168
00:06:49,726 --> 00:06:53,645
Huh. That. Yes. But I want to change.
169
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,314
Let me follow you around today,
170
00:06:55,365 --> 00:06:56,949
ask you questions, find out about you.
171
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,301
Like right now, what are you doing?
172
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:03,355
Oh, I'm getting ready
to shoot my new video.
173
00:07:03,789 --> 00:07:05,573
It's for fellow recorder enthusiasts.
174
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,142
I have eight followers.
175
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:09,928
Well, consider me your
ninth. How can I help?
176
00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:12,480
You could press the red button, friend.
177
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,382
You got it, friend!
178
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:17,135
- Okay.
- All right.
179
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:41,775
Are you writing messages on your phone?
180
00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:44,061
No.
181
00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:45,497
I'm sorry.
182
00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:48,199
I said today would be all
about you, and it still is.
183
00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:51,252
It's okay. You probably won't
like what's coming next, either.
184
00:07:51,286 --> 00:07:52,620
I have a big hair appointment.
185
00:07:52,654 --> 00:07:55,873
Ooh, a salon! I love Jackie day!
186
00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:58,375
As a matter of fact, let's
get rid of all distractions.
187
00:07:58,410 --> 00:07:59,493
Give me your phone.
188
00:07:59,527 --> 00:08:03,514
Girl power! Girl day! Let's go!
189
00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:04,882
Boom.
190
00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:07,735
Hey, no one disturb us, okay?!
191
00:08:07,769 --> 00:08:10,187
We're diving into lake Jackie!
192
00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:17,278
And...
193
00:08:17,312 --> 00:08:19,914
We're headed to lake Jackie.
194
00:08:19,948 --> 00:08:21,615
Hey, Dick, can I let you in on a secret?
195
00:08:21,650 --> 00:08:23,200
Bro code in full effect.
196
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,819
I know this is hard to believe,
197
00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:26,637
but I haven't exercised in six months.
198
00:08:26,671 --> 00:08:30,124
But now I can get a little
work in while I help you.
199
00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:34,145
Now, what is it you'd like to do?
200
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,513
Do you want to increase muscle mass
201
00:08:35,564 --> 00:08:36,797
or do you want to just tone up?
202
00:08:36,815 --> 00:08:39,633
- Yes.
- Okay. All right.
203
00:08:39,651 --> 00:08:41,652
You know what we need to
do? We're gonna start slow.
204
00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:43,487
This is a treadmill.
205
00:08:44,906 --> 00:08:47,324
Now, this is the best way
to get your heart rate up.
206
00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:49,643
To do that I usually just
watch Hoda and Kathie Lee
207
00:08:49,661 --> 00:08:51,478
get hammered on the "Today" show.
208
00:08:51,496 --> 00:08:52,830
Yeah, I hear you.
209
00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:55,199
Okay, why don't you come
around here? We'll start slow.
210
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:59,537
And hop up on there. Okay, start slow.
211
00:08:59,588 --> 00:09:02,339
And I'll give you some
music for inspiration.
212
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:20,642
With a long journey ahead of them,
213
00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:23,695
Bogo gives the duckling a ride on his back.
214
00:09:23,746 --> 00:09:24,896
Seriously?
215
00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:26,798
You couldn't write this.
216
00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:29,016
Why is my son on your back?
217
00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:30,318
Larry, I was teaching him
how to use the treadmill.
218
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:31,602
He slipped, and he hurt his ankle.
219
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:34,255
Oh, my precious boy!
220
00:09:34,289 --> 00:09:37,492
Damn it, Marty! He had
such beautiful ankles!
221
00:09:37,526 --> 00:09:39,310
You see, I told you
somebody would get hurt!
222
00:09:39,344 --> 00:09:40,344
Father, you were talking about
223
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:41,913
a cuddly little duckling and an elephant.
224
00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:44,131
- And I still am.
- Oh, that's nice, Larry!
225
00:09:44,149 --> 00:09:45,867
That's real nice!
226
00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:47,535
Yelling won't help him.
227
00:09:47,569 --> 00:09:50,221
- How do you feel?
- I think I'm all right.
228
00:09:50,272 --> 00:09:52,023
Okay, good.
229
00:09:54,076 --> 00:09:57,145
That's normal, right?
230
00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:59,313
- What do we do?
- What do we do?
231
00:09:59,347 --> 00:10:00,782
- I'll call Jackie.
- Ooh, I'll call Debbie.
232
00:10:15,378 --> 00:10:18,298
And sometimes they don't like
it here if you don't buy product.
233
00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:21,101
- So you should...
- Jackie, come on. I know today is your day.
234
00:10:21,135 --> 00:10:22,202
But I've been to a salon before.
235
00:10:22,236 --> 00:10:24,304
Oh. Hi!
236
00:10:24,338 --> 00:10:26,473
Jackie!
237
00:10:26,807 --> 00:10:29,325
Wow, miss popularity, look at you.
238
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,045
Hi, Shirley.
239
00:10:31,179 --> 00:10:33,413
Jackie J! The curls are working, girl.
240
00:10:33,447 --> 00:10:35,882
Okay?
241
00:10:35,916 --> 00:10:37,650
When I don't understand the
words that they're using,
242
00:10:37,684 --> 00:10:40,336
I just say "okay" as if it's a question.
243
00:10:40,387 --> 00:10:42,539
- Okay.
- Okay?
244
00:10:42,573 --> 00:10:43,723
Well...
245
00:10:43,741 --> 00:10:47,126
Valerie, I see you're
finally reading "Gone Girl."
246
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,595
Isn't it as good as I said?
247
00:10:48,629 --> 00:10:50,213
How long have you been coming here?
248
00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,866
Oh, just a few months, ever
since I saw a documentary
249
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,517
about black women and their hair.
250
00:10:54,552 --> 00:10:57,070
- Apparently, it's a whole thing.
- Huh. Who knew?
251
00:10:57,104 --> 00:11:00,223
- Mm. Relaxers and afros and weaves.
- Oh, my.
252
00:11:00,257 --> 00:11:02,842
But the salon experience
is not just about hair.
253
00:11:02,877 --> 00:11:05,812
We also talk about husbands and children
254
00:11:05,846 --> 00:11:08,414
and something called a
"Rihanna" who apparently
255
00:11:08,449 --> 00:11:10,783
has no sense and keeps going back.
256
00:11:10,918 --> 00:11:12,502
Oh, I love it!
257
00:11:12,553 --> 00:11:14,153
Introduce me. Show me around.
258
00:11:14,188 --> 00:11:16,322
You've never said that to me before.
259
00:11:16,356 --> 00:11:18,875
Jackie, this is now a
two-sided friendship.
260
00:11:18,909 --> 00:11:22,128
- I want to see your side.
- Okay.
261
00:11:22,546 --> 00:11:25,965
Shirley, I want to
introduce you to somebody.
262
00:11:27,099 --> 00:11:28,584
You brought your accountant?
263
00:11:28,618 --> 00:11:29,636
- Okay?
- No, no.
264
00:11:31,104 --> 00:11:33,022
Sorry. I'm Debbie Weaver.
265
00:11:33,056 --> 00:11:34,340
Hello, Debbie.
266
00:11:34,374 --> 00:11:36,909
So, you came to hold
Jackie's hand on her big day?
267
00:11:36,943 --> 00:11:40,229
Shirley talked me into
trying a new hairstyle.
268
00:11:40,263 --> 00:11:41,497
I'm getting my hair braided.
269
00:11:41,548 --> 00:11:43,833
Oh, wow! Braids... those are fun.
270
00:11:45,218 --> 00:11:46,468
Hey, as long as we're
doing things your way,
271
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,453
maybe I should get some.
272
00:11:47,487 --> 00:11:50,556
Fun! We can be twins.
273
00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:52,491
- Shirley?
- Tonya, get the white girl a smock!
274
00:11:52,509 --> 00:11:54,910
Yay.
275
00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:57,980
Come on.
276
00:11:58,431 --> 00:12:00,782
It should just be a few more
minutes and the doctor will be in.
277
00:12:00,817 --> 00:12:03,802
Hold on, mustache. It's been over an hour.
278
00:12:03,836 --> 00:12:05,036
For an emergency room,
279
00:12:05,054 --> 00:12:07,105
you don't act like it's an emergency.
280
00:12:07,139 --> 00:12:09,775
Larry! Thank you, nurse. Thank you.
281
00:12:10,109 --> 00:12:12,277
For the third time, I'm telling you
282
00:12:12,311 --> 00:12:14,145
you have to be polite or they ignore you.
283
00:12:14,179 --> 00:12:15,647
Please, Larry, just trust me.
284
00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:17,616
Said the man who destroyed my son's chance
285
00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:19,417
at a career in ankle modeling.
286
00:12:19,452 --> 00:12:21,887
Do you carry those around with you?
287
00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:23,855
There was a vending machine. Back off.
288
00:12:23,889 --> 00:12:28,126
Larry, are you 100% sure
that the X-ray machine's
289
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,395
not gonna show that
he's an alien under this?
290
00:12:30,429 --> 00:12:34,482
Of course. It's not a
suit. How stupid can you be?
291
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,134
You know, I really miss
the Debbie-Jackie buffer,
292
00:12:36,168 --> 00:12:38,103
because this, just you and
me, it doesn't work for me.
293
00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:39,487
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, fart.
294
00:12:39,522 --> 00:12:41,806
I'm getting milk.
295
00:12:41,824 --> 00:12:46,094
Poor Dick. Would tv cheer you up?
296
00:12:46,128 --> 00:12:49,014
I'll never say no to "Pretty Little Liars."
297
00:12:49,048 --> 00:12:51,283
But there's no remote.
298
00:12:51,317 --> 00:12:53,902
Hey!
299
00:12:53,953 --> 00:12:55,887
You!
300
00:12:55,922 --> 00:12:58,691
My son needs a tv remote.
301
00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:03,244
I said my son needs a remote.
302
00:13:03,279 --> 00:13:04,879
I'm sorry. If you'll just
give me a few more minutes.
303
00:13:04,930 --> 00:13:08,566
No. My son wants to watch
"Pretty Little Liars."
304
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:11,752
He needs a remote, and I
don't see why he has to wait.
305
00:13:11,837 --> 00:13:14,088
He loves "Pretty Little Liars."
306
00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:15,690
Just find him a remote!
307
00:13:15,724 --> 00:13:16,924
Like I said!
308
00:13:16,958 --> 00:13:20,577
Give my son the remote!!
309
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:27,268
Thank you very much.
310
00:13:30,655 --> 00:13:32,239
Ah, is it such a hair-don't,
311
00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:34,558
that it doubles back
and becomes a hair-do?
312
00:13:34,592 --> 00:13:36,610
Almost.
313
00:13:36,644 --> 00:13:37,944
It's so tight I can't stop smiling.
314
00:13:37,979 --> 00:13:39,012
Is that normal?
315
00:13:39,047 --> 00:13:42,049
Girl, nothing about you is normal. Okay?
316
00:13:43,151 --> 00:13:45,769
I'll tell you what else isn't normal...
317
00:13:46,938 --> 00:13:49,373
Later.
318
00:13:49,407 --> 00:13:51,658
I've never had my hair hurt.
319
00:13:51,709 --> 00:13:54,210
Hey, Valerie, you tell Walter
if he doesn't stop his nonsense,
320
00:13:54,228 --> 00:13:56,213
you're bringing over Shirley
to give him some braids.
321
00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:58,681
Speaking of, it's been almost two hours.
322
00:13:58,699 --> 00:13:59,966
Is anybody gonna braid my hair?
323
00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:02,619
Jackie, has it been that long?
324
00:14:02,653 --> 00:14:04,287
I have to get home and start dinner.
325
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:07,090
Of course. You're ready to
go, so I guess we're going.
326
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:08,792
- Oh, Jackie, I didn't...
- Didn't you?
327
00:14:08,826 --> 00:14:11,878
You even managed to take
this over. Unbelievable.
328
00:14:11,929 --> 00:14:14,548
Thank you so much, Debbie, for
putting me be in charge today.
329
00:14:14,599 --> 00:14:16,049
Did you learn a lot about me
330
00:14:16,134 --> 00:14:18,718
while you talked and you got my hair?
331
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,387
Oh, Jackie, I'm sorry.
332
00:14:20,438 --> 00:14:23,306
I just wanted your friends to like me.
333
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,609
Congratulations. They do. I don't.
334
00:14:25,643 --> 00:14:27,677
Oh, Jackie, wait!
335
00:14:29,864 --> 00:14:31,514
I look like Predator.
336
00:14:31,532 --> 00:14:33,683
Oh, my God, Alien versus Predator.
337
00:14:33,701 --> 00:14:34,701
Jackie, wait!
338
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,691
However, Bogo misunderstands
339
00:14:43,725 --> 00:14:46,143
Deedee's wing flapping
as an act of aggression.
340
00:14:46,978 --> 00:14:48,729
Come on, Jackie. I said I was sorry.
341
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,397
Yes, you did.
342
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,599
Reggie Jackson, the house is
locked. Where's your father?
343
00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:53,950
- Dick fell.
- What?!
344
00:14:53,985 --> 00:14:55,702
- They're at the hospital.
- I'll drive you.
345
00:14:55,737 --> 00:14:58,571
No, thank you. I do not need
your help, and I never will again.
346
00:14:58,589 --> 00:15:02,976
Although I don't know where the hospital is
347
00:15:02,994 --> 00:15:05,094
- and we don't have a car, so could you...
- Let's go.
348
00:15:05,129 --> 00:15:06,130
Thank you.
349
00:15:08,149 --> 00:15:10,601
Did your mom macrame her head?
350
00:15:16,941 --> 00:15:18,058
I swear to you
351
00:15:18,492 --> 00:15:20,243
I pushed the button for
raisins and this came out.
352
00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:23,346
Sorry it's been such a
wait. I'm Doctor Cohan.
353
00:15:23,697 --> 00:15:25,331
Hey, there, little fella, you got an owie?
354
00:15:25,366 --> 00:15:28,600
Here's a lollipop for being
such a real big-boy trouper.
355
00:15:28,635 --> 00:15:31,054
Is he friggin' serious with this?
356
00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:34,306
Now, we're gonna take
your son for an X-ray
357
00:15:34,341 --> 00:15:35,542
and see if that ankle's broken.
358
00:15:35,777 --> 00:15:37,977
Broken? Poor Dick.
359
00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:40,429
Promise me he'll get the best care...
360
00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:41,714
not that obamacare
361
00:15:41,748 --> 00:15:44,433
that Fox News says kills old people
362
00:15:44,468 --> 00:15:46,919
and lets illegal Mexicans get gay-married.
363
00:15:46,953 --> 00:15:48,254
No, he's not from around here.
364
00:15:48,288 --> 00:15:51,507
- Dick's gonna be fine, Larry.
- Fine is not okay!
365
00:15:51,541 --> 00:15:54,093
On my home planet, the "fine" get banished
366
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:57,012
to a bleak, filthy moon
for the broken and weak,
367
00:15:57,064 --> 00:15:58,848
not unlike your Canada.
368
00:15:58,899 --> 00:16:00,216
I would just ignore him
'cause he gets emotional.
369
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,501
I have a responsibility to the state
370
00:16:02,535 --> 00:16:04,437
to report psychotic behavior.
371
00:16:04,471 --> 00:16:05,938
No. No. Larry, it's okay.
372
00:16:05,972 --> 00:16:08,374
Dick is gone now so you
can drop the home-planet act
373
00:16:08,408 --> 00:16:11,177
before the doctor brings in the state
374
00:16:11,211 --> 00:16:12,695
with all the questions.
375
00:16:12,729 --> 00:16:15,164
Oh, yes. Yes. Don't need that.
376
00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:18,452
Okay, so assure the doctor
that this was all just a big...
377
00:16:18,487 --> 00:16:19,770
- Dolphin?
- Story.
378
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,405
- For his...
- Son?
379
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,406
- Son.
- Yes, my son.
380
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,357
- On point.
- That's right.
381
00:16:23,391 --> 00:16:25,676
And Larry knows that Dick loves
382
00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:29,246
- stories about aliens and home planets.
- Science fiction.
383
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:31,348
- Right, and you were just trying to make Dick...
- Laugh.
384
00:16:31,383 --> 00:16:33,200
That's right. He's not crazy.
385
00:16:33,235 --> 00:16:34,518
- He's just a...
- Dolphin.
386
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,653
- No!
- Oh. Father.
387
00:16:36,671 --> 00:16:38,005
That's right. That's right.
388
00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:39,690
And despite our differences
389
00:16:39,724 --> 00:16:43,711
and our inability to
communicate without our wives,
390
00:16:43,745 --> 00:16:45,462
we do share one thing in common.
391
00:16:45,497 --> 00:16:47,515
Don't we, Larry? We're both...
392
00:16:47,566 --> 00:16:49,800
- Dads.
- Dads.
393
00:16:52,253 --> 00:16:55,155
- And that is how you win "Taboo," my friend.
- Oh, yeah.
394
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,392
Okay, well, that was weird.
395
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,893
I'll be back with the X-ray results.
396
00:17:00,928 --> 00:17:02,128
Where's my little Dick?
397
00:17:02,162 --> 00:17:05,081
Oh. Oh, husband, I heard your danger honk.
398
00:17:05,115 --> 00:17:06,082
Oh.
399
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,551
And... I'm just gonna go.
400
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,509
So, what you got going on top there, Deb?
401
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,478
Did you guys spend the day at Sandals?
402
00:17:18,529 --> 00:17:20,396
She stole my hairstyle.
403
00:17:20,431 --> 00:17:21,631
I didn't steal anything.
404
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,733
I was just trying to do
your thing on your day.
405
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:26,669
Every lady at that salon
loved you and forgot about me.
406
00:17:26,703 --> 00:17:28,287
Go ahead and say it.
407
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,256
The reason why you know nothing about me
408
00:17:30,307 --> 00:17:33,793
and you talk so much is because I'm boring.
409
00:17:33,827 --> 00:17:36,746
Do you honestly think I would
spend so much time with you
410
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:37,747
if you were boring?
411
00:17:38,181 --> 00:17:40,733
- I don't know.
- Well, let me be clear.
412
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:42,902
You are the opposite of boring.
413
00:17:43,536 --> 00:17:46,822
You are the most exciting
friend I have ever had.
414
00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:50,175
- You speak 10 languages.
- 4,000.
415
00:17:50,209 --> 00:17:52,160
You're great at everything.
416
00:17:52,195 --> 00:17:54,146
You're an alien.
417
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:57,432
How could I make this better?
418
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,551
Maybe remember I wasn't always the alien.
419
00:17:59,585 --> 00:18:02,204
Back home, I was the normal one. I was you.
420
00:18:02,238 --> 00:18:04,005
My girlfriends and I would sit around
421
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,408
and talk about nothing and swap secrets
422
00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:08,844
and decapitate foreign marauders.
423
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:12,531
I just want to be a friend, an equal.
424
00:18:12,565 --> 00:18:14,216
Get over here.
425
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,218
Come on.
426
00:18:16,252 --> 00:18:18,686
Oh, how I loathe the resolution hug.
427
00:18:18,704 --> 00:18:20,889
Good news... just a sprain, not a break.
428
00:18:20,923 --> 00:18:22,390
He'll be up and around in a few days.
429
00:18:22,425 --> 00:18:24,309
Hurrah! Resolution!
430
00:18:24,343 --> 00:18:26,178
Okay.
431
00:18:26,229 --> 00:18:27,512
Oh, my son.
432
00:18:27,547 --> 00:18:32,534
Okay, good. So, can we
please get out of here?
433
00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:34,136
I guess your plan to get him healthier
434
00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:35,503
didn't really work out, huh?
435
00:18:35,521 --> 00:18:38,640
Wrong. Today, I got Marty his friend back.
436
00:18:38,674 --> 00:18:40,609
Study after study has proven friendship
437
00:18:40,643 --> 00:18:42,260
is the best thing for the heart.
438
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,646
Aww.
439
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,598
His cholesterol is on you, Debbie.
440
00:18:46,649 --> 00:18:48,817
Ever hear of an egg white?
441
00:18:51,603 --> 00:18:55,489
As a busy mom, I can't let
my adult diaper slow me down.
442
00:18:55,524 --> 00:18:57,158
- Mute.
- That's why I use...
443
00:18:57,192 --> 00:18:58,960
I can't watch that commercial anymore.
444
00:18:58,994 --> 00:19:01,095
Who's that happy about being
40 and wearing a diaper?
445
00:19:01,129 --> 00:19:02,897
Well, I'm guessing
446
00:19:02,931 --> 00:19:05,900
- this is the last commercial break, right?
- And then it's over.
447
00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:09,487
I'm really gonna miss that
cold, awkward elephant.
448
00:19:09,521 --> 00:19:11,672
You see, for me, it's really
all about the duckling.
449
00:19:11,707 --> 00:19:13,374
I used to hate soft and Fluffy,
450
00:19:13,408 --> 00:19:16,243
but now I just want to
squeeze his little face
451
00:19:16,278 --> 00:19:17,461
and tell him I love him.
452
00:19:17,512 --> 00:19:19,130
Yes, I do.
453
00:19:19,181 --> 00:19:21,549
What's happening to me?
454
00:19:21,583 --> 00:19:23,851
Oh, my God, the show's back on!
455
00:19:31,326 --> 00:19:32,910
Give me your foot.
456
00:19:38,066 --> 00:19:40,367
Stupid, Fluffy duckling.
457
00:19:40,402 --> 00:19:41,668
Ooh, here we go... last scene.
458
00:19:42,771 --> 00:19:44,872
- We're home!
- Welcome back.
459
00:19:44,906 --> 00:19:45,889
Thank you.
460
00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:47,307
And as another day ends,
461
00:19:47,342 --> 00:19:49,643
the elephant and the
duckling prepare for sleep.
462
00:19:50,829 --> 00:19:52,312
Over their time together,
463
00:19:52,346 --> 00:19:55,115
they took on each other's
habits and behaviors.
464
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:58,185
They've become less aware
of their differences.
465
00:19:58,203 --> 00:20:01,622
But some differences are so
big they're insurmountable.
466
00:20:01,656 --> 00:20:03,824
On our last day of filming,
467
00:20:03,858 --> 00:20:06,143
Bogo the elephant tried to show affection
468
00:20:06,177 --> 00:20:08,812
and rolled over on top of the duckling.
469
00:20:11,216 --> 00:20:13,200
- Oh.
- My. - God.
470
00:20:13,218 --> 00:20:16,369
Oh, that's hilarious!
471
00:20:16,387 --> 00:20:17,838
Finally, a show besides "Cougar Town"
472
00:20:17,872 --> 00:20:19,473
that knows how to end with a big laugh.
473
00:20:19,507 --> 00:20:22,226
Oh, I love it.
474
00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:32,811
Hello, recorder enthusiasts! Good news!
475
00:20:33,346 --> 00:20:36,631
My song today is going
to be Hanson's "Mmmbop!"
476
00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:38,299
But first, I thought that I would address
477
00:20:38,317 --> 00:20:41,069
some of your online comments, so...
478
00:20:41,103 --> 00:20:44,155
For Rikers inmate 6432,
479
00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:46,191
I do not play a lot of musical instruments,
480
00:20:46,242 --> 00:20:48,326
so I do not know what a skin flute is.
481
00:20:48,361 --> 00:20:51,145
But starting a band with
you sure sounds like fun!
482
00:20:51,163 --> 00:20:53,832
So, today's extra-special treat...
483
00:20:53,866 --> 00:20:57,085
I will be accompanied
by my best, best friend,
484
00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,421
Debbie Weaver, on drums.
485
00:20:59,455 --> 00:21:04,009
A 1, a 2, a 1-2-3-4!
486
00:21:11,467 --> 00:21:13,668
Hey! Yeah!
487
00:21:13,686 --> 00:21:16,338
Keep rocking, recorder enthusiasts!
488
00:21:16,372 --> 00:21:19,474
Good night, Hidden Hills! Aah!
489
00:21:19,475 --> 00:21:22,975
sync by bellows - corrected by chamallow
www.addic7ed.com
490
00:21:23,025 --> 00:21:27,575
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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