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Previously on "The Neighbours"...
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00:00:03,350 --> 00:00:04,765
These are the Weavers.
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This is there new house.
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00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:07,915
And these are their new neighbours.
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00:00:07,935 --> 00:00:10,020
I'm Larry Bird, leader of this community
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00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,719
and immediate neighbor to your west.
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00:00:11,739 --> 00:00:14,526
We're just living amidst
golf cart-driving pie makers
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with the names of professional athletes.
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00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:18,079
I'm sure there's an explanation for this.
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00:00:21,171 --> 00:00:22,585
We hope that you will consider staying.
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We believe there's much we could learn
from one another.
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00:00:35,115 --> 00:00:37,594
- This will be a good block to hit.
- Yeah.
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00:00:38,815 --> 00:00:40,854
Look at the size of this house.
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00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,674
Blinds are down,
no car in the driveway.
15
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,095
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
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00:00:45,115 --> 00:00:48,257
Bucket full of Halloween candy
and "please just take one" note.
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00:00:48,277 --> 00:00:49,305
Suckers.
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00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,675
Excuse me, parents?
19
00:00:52,695 --> 00:00:54,496
You're setting a terrible
example for your children.
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00:00:54,516 --> 00:00:56,010
You're aware of that, right?
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00:00:56,030 --> 00:00:58,563
Do you have any idea how many years
your father and I have fantasized
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00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:01,676
about not having to take you
trick-or-treating in an apartment building?
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00:01:01,696 --> 00:01:03,671
Big houses, open streets,
24
00:01:03,691 --> 00:01:06,918
no more ringing doorbells in a hallway
that smells like soup.
25
00:01:06,938 --> 00:01:09,799
Kids, what's the Weavers' favorite holiday
in the whole world?
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00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,243
- Christmas!
- Christmas!
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00:01:11,263 --> 00:01:12,778
Aside from christmas!
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- Easter!
- Thanksgiving!
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No. Halloween.
You gotta say "Halloween."
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Halloween!
Halloween!
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That's right!
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Hey, we need a plan of attack.
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00:01:19,964 --> 00:01:21,990
What I'm thinking we should do
is we get here early.
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00:01:22,010 --> 00:01:24,965
We'll put Max on one corner,
we'll put Abby on the other.
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00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,375
We'll hit 'em
right from each side.
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00:01:31,863 --> 00:01:34,654
Hurry up! Let's go,
let's go, let's go! Come on!
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That's secure.
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Hup, hup, hup, hup!
Hup, hup, hup, hup!
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00:01:51,294 --> 00:01:53,972
Kids, go in the house.
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00:01:55,681 --> 00:01:58,867
So, guys, uh,
what's doin'?
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00:01:58,887 --> 00:02:00,813
Every year
since we've arrived,
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00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:02,851
on the last day
of your October,
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00:02:02,871 --> 00:02:05,171
tiny devils have gathered
at our main gate
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00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,780
en masse, ready to invade.
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00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,301
In the past, our gate
has kept them at bay.
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- Should they breach it...
- We will rain hellfire and fury upon them.
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00:02:13,051 --> 00:02:15,201
Rain hell upon them!
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Good! Burn, little one!
49
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,318
What's our favorite holiday?
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00:02:28,338 --> 00:02:29,677
Halloween.
51
00:02:31,723 --> 00:02:33,843
S01E05
Halloween-ween
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53
00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:39,790
- Hup, hup, hup...
- Okay, here we go.
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00:02:39,810 --> 00:02:43,920
The last day of October,
you are not being invaded.
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It's a holiday.
It's called Halloween.
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00:02:46,921 --> 00:02:48,661
Kids dress in scary costumes,
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00:02:48,681 --> 00:02:51,618
and they go door-to-door
asking strangers for candy.
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00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:55,273
So, if I'm to believe
this...this...Hallo-feen...
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00:02:55,293 --> 00:02:57,742
- Halloween. Ween.
- Halloween-ween?
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00:02:57,762 --> 00:03:00,169
No, no, no, no.
Just one "ween."
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00:03:00,189 --> 00:03:02,262
Really? Really?
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00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,181
You know what? Come inside.
We'll show you guys. Come on.
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00:03:05,201 --> 00:03:06,534
Halloween-ween.
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00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:14,768
As you can see...
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00:03:14,788 --> 00:03:16,276
Halloween's kind of our jam.
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00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:17,985
I always do a buddy costume with Max,
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00:03:18,005 --> 00:03:20,804
and this year we're doing
Nemo and Nemo's dad.
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00:03:20,824 --> 00:03:22,937
Come on. Watch this.
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00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:26,800
Dad?
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Dad!
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00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:31,153
My mom is dead,
and now I realize...
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00:03:31,173 --> 00:03:33,773
I need my dad!
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00:03:33,793 --> 00:03:35,569
I'm Nemo!
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00:03:35,589 --> 00:03:38,740
Nemo! Nemo!
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00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,976
I've been working on my
Albert Brooks, like, all week.
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00:03:41,996 --> 00:03:44,774
- How was I?
- You were fine. The boy needs work.
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00:03:44,794 --> 00:03:46,429
And Abby's Rapunzel.
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00:03:46,449 --> 00:03:50,123
Every year, Abby gets all clingy and shy
on Halloween night.
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00:03:50,143 --> 00:03:52,755
Won't let go of our hands.
It's wonderful.
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00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,254
Reminds us that we're still needed.
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00:03:55,274 --> 00:03:56,888
and then there's Amber.
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00:03:59,079 --> 00:04:00,693
Is knocking too hard for you?
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00:04:00,713 --> 00:04:03,824
Is it too hard to make a fist
and bang it against a door?
84
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,177
Learn to knock!
85
00:04:06,197 --> 00:04:08,602
She is full of piss and vinegar, this one.
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00:04:08,622 --> 00:04:11,566
Amber and I do punny, topical political costumes.
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00:04:11,586 --> 00:04:13,512
Come on, Amber, baby, tell them.
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00:04:13,532 --> 00:04:15,258
Okay, fine.
Well, as you know,
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00:04:15,278 --> 00:04:17,440
last year I went as the financial collapse.
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00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:19,411
Yeah. She dressed as a dollar sign,
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00:04:19,431 --> 00:04:21,160
and then just fell down randomly.
92
00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:23,480
It was mom's idea.
It was basically genius.
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00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:26,349
This year I'm going as
Obamacare. It's gonna be bril.
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00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:30,004
Halloween is a real bonding experience
for Amber and Debbie.
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00:04:30,024 --> 00:04:31,643
It gives them an opportunity to...
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00:04:31,677 --> 00:04:33,294
- Everyone get out.
- We should go.
97
00:04:33,329 --> 00:04:35,426
- Let's go.
- Go, go, go.
98
00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:39,083
You see, guys, you can
stop preparing for war
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00:04:39,101 --> 00:04:42,236
And start buying candy.
It's fun.
100
00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:46,064
- It seems somewhat harmless, husband.
- To you, maybe.
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00:04:46,084 --> 00:04:48,134
Every great leader in history is defined
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by the threat he protects his people from.
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00:04:50,674 --> 00:04:52,662
Your Churchill had Hitler.
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00:04:52,682 --> 00:04:54,695
My father led the invasion of Uranus.
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- Aw, you never laugh at those with me.
- It's funny!
106
00:04:59,617 --> 00:05:01,019
- Yeah.
- Please.
107
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:05,529
And I protect my people
from October the 31st.
108
00:05:05,549 --> 00:05:07,201
Every year, I guide them
safely through the evening,
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00:05:07,221 --> 00:05:09,329
and they celebrate me for it.
110
00:05:09,653 --> 00:05:11,479
It's my war,
and I want to keep it.
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00:05:15,295 --> 00:05:18,120
All the other kids
are planning Halloween costumes.
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00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:20,801
I have no costume.
I feel so alone.
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00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,628
You can put together a good,
easy costume last minute.
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00:05:23,648 --> 00:05:26,654
- Homeless guy's a good one.
- No, my father would never approve.
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00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:29,873
It's not a political statement
about the homeless.
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00:05:29,893 --> 00:05:32,417
Just rub some dirt
on your face.
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00:05:33,364 --> 00:05:35,525
Oh, no. My father hates the homeless.
118
00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:36,835
That's not the issue.
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00:05:36,855 --> 00:05:39,417
He just believes Halloween
is dangerous.
120
00:05:39,437 --> 00:05:41,767
Our dad is super
into Halloween.
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00:05:41,787 --> 00:05:44,175
We do a costume together
every year.
122
00:05:44,195 --> 00:05:47,214
Wait. You do a costume
with your dad?
123
00:05:47,234 --> 00:05:50,232
- Yeah, every year Max does a costume with him.
- Abby!
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00:05:50,252 --> 00:05:53,052
I'm talking to...
I'm sorry.
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00:05:53,072 --> 00:05:54,773
I didn't catch your name.
126
00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:57,145
Emma.
I'm talking to emma here.
127
00:05:57,165 --> 00:06:00,064
Hey, a bunch of us are trick-or-treating
as zombies together.
128
00:06:00,084 --> 00:06:03,320
Our parents drink margaritas in the street
while we go door-to-door.
129
00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:05,686
You go to the doors
without your parents?
130
00:06:05,706 --> 00:06:08,168
Of course. We're not 5.
131
00:06:12,409 --> 00:06:16,094
My mother told me that your Halloween costume
Is going to be health care-related?
132
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:20,157
If you want a partner in crime,
I could go as the individual mandate.
133
00:06:20,177 --> 00:06:21,517
- No, thanks.
- Death panel?
134
00:06:21,537 --> 00:06:23,176
Reggie, I was lying
to my parents.
135
00:06:23,196 --> 00:06:26,030
I hear everyone's pre-gaming
Halloween at the fro-yo place,
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00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:28,001
and I need to jump-start
my popularity,
137
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,997
So despite
my better judgment,
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00:06:30,017 --> 00:06:32,833
I've decided to sex up
my costume this year.
139
00:06:32,853 --> 00:06:35,173
- Canadian health care.
- I don't want to wear a costume!
140
00:06:35,193 --> 00:06:38,374
You have to!
I'm going as a slutty magician.
141
00:06:38,394 --> 00:06:41,123
If I do it alone, then I'm
just a slut with a rabbit.
142
00:06:41,143 --> 00:06:42,520
But if you do it,
it's a thing.
143
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:44,553
Whatever.
'sup, Amber?
144
00:06:44,573 --> 00:06:46,984
- 'sup, hair?
- What's up?
145
00:06:48,231 --> 00:06:50,851
You know, "Gossip Girl" does
actually have kind of a point.
146
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,540
I can't be too obvious
about it.
147
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,890
I have to be stealth sexy.
It's got to be a thing.
148
00:06:56,576 --> 00:06:59,073
Okay, fine. Reggie, you can be
my costume partner this year.
149
00:06:59,093 --> 00:07:01,638
So, death panel, 'cause I feel like
It's got the most upside.
150
00:07:01,658 --> 00:07:04,225
Would you stop? We're going
as a slutty nurse and a hot doctor.
151
00:07:04,245 --> 00:07:06,234
You have 24 hours
to figure it out.
152
00:07:06,254 --> 00:07:08,798
What...wait, Amber, can I at least tell
you my ideaI had for death panel?
153
00:07:08,818 --> 00:07:11,031
'Cause it's pretty sexy.
154
00:07:11,051 --> 00:07:12,373
Amber?
155
00:07:14,070 --> 00:07:17,138
Okay, I'm gonna put
a pin in right here.
156
00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:19,861
You put a pin in my tuchus!
157
00:07:19,881 --> 00:07:21,789
That's Albert Brooks.
158
00:07:22,113 --> 00:07:24,651
So, Larry Bird
can't know about this,
159
00:07:24,671 --> 00:07:28,268
But I quietly explained to the community
your interpretation of Halloween-ween.
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00:07:28,288 --> 00:07:30,902
Not interpretation, Jackie,
common knowledge.
161
00:07:30,922 --> 00:07:33,346
Okay. Listen, Debbie Weaver,
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you are our first human friends,
163
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,256
and this is our first human holiday,
164
00:07:37,276 --> 00:07:39,277
and we'd like to learn more about it.
165
00:07:39,297 --> 00:07:41,832
- And Larry Bird?
- Don't worry about Larry Bird.
166
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:44,888
I told him his hair looked limp.
He'll be deep-conditioning for hours.
167
00:07:44,908 --> 00:07:46,536
You know, we would love
to help you out, Jackie,
168
00:07:46,556 --> 00:07:49,155
but we are planning our own
Halloween right now.
169
00:07:49,175 --> 00:07:50,153
Is it just me,
170
00:07:50,173 --> 00:07:51,812
or is anyone else
schvitzing in here?
171
00:07:51,832 --> 00:07:53,803
Okay, Marty, enough from you.
172
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,826
Skirt needs to be shorter.
Neckline needs to be deeper.
173
00:07:58,138 --> 00:08:01,062
Are you making a statement that
without national healthcare,
174
00:08:01,082 --> 00:08:04,093
people won't be able
to afford full-length skirts?
175
00:08:04,113 --> 00:08:05,860
Yeah. Totally.
176
00:08:06,321 --> 00:08:08,228
You know what?
I'm just gonna do it myself.
177
00:08:08,248 --> 00:08:09,882
Oh, god. Oh, god.
178
00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:13,628
This is not happening. You tell me
that this is not happening.
179
00:08:13,648 --> 00:08:17,568
I think she finally outgrew punny,
topical halloween costumes, Marty.
180
00:08:17,588 --> 00:08:20,350
I think our...
Baby's gone slutty.
181
00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:24,227
No! Our baby
has not gone sl... hey, kids!
182
00:08:24,352 --> 00:08:26,772
What's up, Max?
Costume's almost finished.
183
00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:30,352
Change of plans. I'm going
as a zombie this year.
184
00:08:31,035 --> 00:08:32,709
But you know, Max, come on,
185
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:35,083
We trick-or-treat
as a family, you know?
186
00:08:35,103 --> 00:08:37,241
Huh? We buddy up, huh?
187
00:08:37,261 --> 00:08:39,424
And Abby is afraid
to let go of our hands.
188
00:08:39,444 --> 00:08:40,977
Actually...
189
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,404
I want to go to the doors
by myself this year,
190
00:08:43,424 --> 00:08:45,114
like a big girl.
191
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,079
What's happening, babe, huh?
192
00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:52,361
I'm falling. Honey,
tell me what's happening.
193
00:08:52,381 --> 00:08:53,202
I don't know.
194
00:08:53,222 --> 00:08:56,678
What's happening is that you now have the time
to teach us about Halloween-ween.
195
00:08:56,698 --> 00:08:58,624
- Halloween.
- One "ween."
196
00:08:58,644 --> 00:08:59,696
Halloween-one-ween.
197
00:08:59,716 --> 00:09:01,867
Halloween!
198
00:09:07,543 --> 00:09:09,177
All right, everybody,
listen up!
199
00:09:09,197 --> 00:09:11,634
First lesson of Halloween
is trick-or-treating.
200
00:09:11,654 --> 00:09:13,455
Which we taught
our own kids before they...
201
00:09:13,475 --> 00:09:15,526
abandoned us!
202
00:09:15,701 --> 00:09:17,857
Hold your pillowcases out!
203
00:09:17,877 --> 00:09:20,092
What is the meaning of this?!
204
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:22,361
Does this have to do
with Halloween-ween?
205
00:09:22,381 --> 00:09:25,297
Was this a ruse?
Does my hair look lifeless or not?
206
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:27,049
No, no. It lacked luster.
207
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,619
Liar.
Now I'm over-conditioned.
208
00:09:30,991 --> 00:09:32,617
Everyone back to your homes!
209
00:09:32,637 --> 00:09:33,706
Everyone stop!
210
00:09:34,196 --> 00:09:37,008
They want to learn about this,
and if you're not going to teach them, I will.
211
00:09:37,028 --> 00:09:39,665
The only thing you're teaching
them is insubordination.
212
00:09:39,685 --> 00:09:42,525
- Zabvronians, tell him.
- Halloween-ween sounds fun!
213
00:09:42,545 --> 00:09:43,872
Halloween-ween means candy!
214
00:09:43,892 --> 00:09:45,663
It will be a great way
to meet men.
215
00:09:45,683 --> 00:09:47,222
- It is settled.
- Wife!
216
00:09:47,242 --> 00:09:50,054
Everybody, trick or treat!
217
00:09:52,912 --> 00:09:54,447
Okay, good job, everybody!
218
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:57,441
Mary Lou Retton, we have
we have a few notes for ya.
219
00:09:58,157 --> 00:10:01,063
See? You can
dress as anything.
220
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:02,577
Something you've always
wanted to be,
221
00:10:02,597 --> 00:10:04,618
Someone you admire,
222
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,479
Something punny
and topical with a...
223
00:10:06,499 --> 00:10:08,662
light political bent!
224
00:10:08,682 --> 00:10:11,959
Yes, uh, I have a question
at the back. Supreme leader.
225
00:10:11,993 --> 00:10:14,063
You claim that
Halloween-ween is safe.
226
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:18,676
You claim that we may confidently
open our gates on October the 31st,
227
00:10:18,696 --> 00:10:21,930
but how can you be sure
that the people wearing costumes
228
00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:24,817
are not concealing weapons...
229
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,481
For murder?
230
00:10:28,023 --> 00:10:30,393
Seems like a stretch.
231
00:10:30,842 --> 00:10:32,264
Whose side are you on?
232
00:10:41,345 --> 00:10:43,536
- It's not so bad.
- I hate it.
233
00:10:43,556 --> 00:10:45,532
I'm not very happy
with myself, either,
234
00:10:45,552 --> 00:10:46,929
If it's any consolation.
235
00:10:46,949 --> 00:10:48,400
- It is.
- It's not.
236
00:10:48,420 --> 00:10:49,728
I'm out.
237
00:10:52,325 --> 00:10:54,318
- Did she leave?
- She's gone.
238
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:58,677
May the odds be ever in your favor.
239
00:11:01,229 --> 00:11:02,893
Trick or treat.
240
00:11:04,510 --> 00:11:06,485
I got that wrong, didn't I?
241
00:11:06,505 --> 00:11:08,803
Is Reggie here?
We have to be at the fro-yo place,
242
00:11:08,823 --> 00:11:10,188
and we're already late.
243
00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:11,892
Hello, Amber.
244
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:13,615
Oh, crap.
245
00:11:13,635 --> 00:11:15,898
When you said hot doctor
and sexy nurse,
246
00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:18,019
I just assumed
you'd wanna be the doctor.
247
00:11:18,039 --> 00:11:19,528
Good god, man.
248
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:20,750
You know what? It's fine.
249
00:11:20,770 --> 00:11:24,809
We can go as sexy nurse
and asian transgender or something.
250
00:11:25,109 --> 00:11:27,055
It's still a thing.
Come on.
251
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,416
- Good night, mother.
- Trick or treat.
252
00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:35,034
So, the betrayal continues.
253
00:11:35,054 --> 00:11:36,813
Oh, dial it down,
drama queen.
254
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:39,295
I know how you feel
about me doing this.
255
00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:43,593
Like it or not, I am participating
in this fun human ritual.
256
00:11:43,613 --> 00:11:45,496
Tonight...
257
00:11:45,516 --> 00:11:47,170
we will receive trick-or-treaters.
258
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:50,106
- Our youngest will be a trick-or-treater.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
259
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,002
Slow your rolls.
260
00:11:52,022 --> 00:11:53,806
Dick Butkus is trick-or-treating?
261
00:11:53,826 --> 00:11:56,662
Yes. Tonight out little Dick
turns tricks with the Weavers.
262
00:11:59,659 --> 00:12:01,598
Hey, Dick. Are you...
263
00:12:01,632 --> 00:12:03,431
You told me to dress
as someone I admire,
264
00:12:03,451 --> 00:12:05,884
so I dressed as you,
Debbie Weaver.
265
00:12:07,231 --> 00:12:09,916
And this is my Marty Weaver puppet.
266
00:12:10,877 --> 00:12:11,855
Okay.
267
00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:14,038
Why am I the puppet,
and not her?
268
00:12:20,644 --> 00:12:21,934
All right, well,
we should hit the road
269
00:12:21,954 --> 00:12:25,876
if we want to get the the fancy
candy bucket neighborhood early.
270
00:12:25,896 --> 00:12:28,652
Kids, let's go!
271
00:12:29,962 --> 00:12:31,477
You know, we could still
make this fun.
272
00:12:31,497 --> 00:12:33,947
You know, even though Max
isn't doing a buddy costume,
273
00:12:33,967 --> 00:12:37,265
And Abby wants to go
to the doors on her own.
274
00:12:37,285 --> 00:12:39,805
And they've completely
ruined Halloween for me.
275
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,924
Marty...
276
00:13:02,961 --> 00:13:05,685
I hope you're all happy
with your decision.
277
00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:09,763
For ten years I have led you
safely through this night.
278
00:13:09,798 --> 00:13:13,734
But who am I
to get in the way of candy?
279
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:18,615
So allow these marauders
to storm our gates.
280
00:13:18,635 --> 00:13:22,343
What do I know?
I'm only the supreme leader.
281
00:13:22,377 --> 00:13:24,394
- Maybe he has a point.
- Yeah.
282
00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:26,078
Husband, you're frightening them.
283
00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:28,012
They should be frightened.
284
00:13:28,032 --> 00:13:31,566
They should all be frightened to have an opinion
that doesn't align with mine.
285
00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:35,446
And now you will all
pay the price.
286
00:13:37,011 --> 00:13:38,513
Open the gates!
287
00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:45,469
Hold...
288
00:13:50,151 --> 00:13:51,623
Hold...
289
00:13:56,743 --> 00:13:58,340
Hold!
290
00:14:05,288 --> 00:14:06,802
Let's go!
291
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:11,571
Flee! Flee! Flee!
292
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:25,200
- Trick or treat!
- Trick or treat!
293
00:14:28,614 --> 00:14:31,737
Take shelter in my home!
294
00:14:31,757 --> 00:14:34,003
I will protect you!
295
00:14:40,306 --> 00:14:41,970
Happy Halloween-ween.
296
00:14:52,012 --> 00:14:54,575
Trick or treat!
Trick or treat!
297
00:14:54,595 --> 00:14:56,129
Well...
298
00:14:57,052 --> 00:15:01,017
Did I not warn you how frightening
and dangerous tonight would be?
299
00:15:01,037 --> 00:15:02,763
- You did.
- He warned us!
300
00:15:02,783 --> 00:15:04,156
Who do we fear?
301
00:15:04,176 --> 00:15:05,191
Strangers.
302
00:15:05,211 --> 00:15:06,788
And when do we fear them most?
303
00:15:06,808 --> 00:15:08,035
Halloween-ween!
304
00:15:08,055 --> 00:15:10,278
But who protects you
on that day?
305
00:15:10,298 --> 00:15:13,471
Larry bird!
Larry bird!
306
00:15:13,491 --> 00:15:16,502
Larry bird!
Larry bird!
307
00:15:16,522 --> 00:15:19,346
Larry bird!
Larry bird!
308
00:15:20,082 --> 00:15:23,653
Good neighborhood,
good candy, good costumes.
309
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,873
- Hey, Max.
- Hey, Emma.
310
00:15:25,893 --> 00:15:29,692
Come on. We go up to the doors,
and our parents follow behind.
311
00:15:32,636 --> 00:15:34,749
Can I have my mom
make you a cocktail?
312
00:15:34,783 --> 00:15:36,383
Oh, that'd be nice.
313
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:39,807
You sure, hon? Didn't you
have a martini while we were getting ready?
314
00:15:39,827 --> 00:15:42,838
It calms me.
And are we really judging right now?
315
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:46,159
Why don't you clear your internet history
once in a while?
316
00:15:46,961 --> 00:15:50,862
That's okay, Emma.
I already had a martini at home.
317
00:15:53,132 --> 00:15:55,451
See you later.
318
00:15:57,603 --> 00:15:59,673
Sweetie, are you
scared of the zombies?
319
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:02,256
- No.
- They're not real zombies, Abby.
320
00:16:02,276 --> 00:16:04,102
I'm not scared.
321
00:16:04,122 --> 00:16:06,798
Our kids don't need us anymore, Marty.
322
00:16:06,818 --> 00:16:08,931
Good, then maybe you'll finally get a job.
323
00:16:08,951 --> 00:16:11,332
- Are you serious with this?
- It wasn't me! It was the puppet!
324
00:16:11,352 --> 00:16:13,535
I can't control the puppet!
325
00:16:14,176 --> 00:16:15,361
Can't this wait?
326
00:16:15,381 --> 00:16:17,543
I hate to miss another
round of mea culpas.
327
00:16:17,563 --> 00:16:21,028
Husband, I'm sick
of bickering about this.
328
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,194
Can you please
just admit what this is?
329
00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:25,943
They need to rely on me, wife.
330
00:16:25,963 --> 00:16:28,313
They need to need me.
331
00:16:28,638 --> 00:16:30,813
If I lose that, I...
332
00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:32,871
My beautiful husband,
333
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,067
Do you have any idea
how impressive you are?
334
00:16:35,087 --> 00:16:36,771
Oh, stop it.
335
00:16:37,369 --> 00:16:39,677
Wait. Was there more? 'cause I
feel like I cut you off.
336
00:16:39,697 --> 00:16:42,584
Halloween-ween is only
one day a year,
337
00:16:42,604 --> 00:16:44,817
but you lead us every day.
338
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,918
You provide safety.
You provide us counsel.
339
00:16:47,938 --> 00:16:49,853
You do everyone's hair.
340
00:16:49,887 --> 00:16:53,083
You have an impossible job
and you do it brilliantly.
341
00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:55,075
I work so hard.
342
00:16:55,109 --> 00:16:57,349
- I even work weekends.
- I know.
343
00:16:57,369 --> 00:16:59,421
But you make it look so easy.
344
00:16:59,441 --> 00:17:02,772
Well, I have the best wife.
345
00:17:03,046 --> 00:17:04,000
Husband,
346
00:17:04,035 --> 00:17:06,282
they don't need to be frightened.
347
00:17:06,302 --> 00:17:09,276
All they want is to learn,
but they need a leader.
348
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:12,281
If you lead,
they will follow.
349
00:17:17,221 --> 00:17:20,383
That's one long, dark walkway.
350
00:17:20,403 --> 00:17:24,021
Are you sure you don't want daddy to hold
your hand and walk you to the door?
351
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:26,603
I'm sure.
352
00:17:28,723 --> 00:17:30,879
Are you sure, because it's
a pretty scary front lawn,
353
00:17:30,899 --> 00:17:33,394
and you never know what's
hiding behind the cauldron!
354
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,412
Marty, let's use fear
to manipulate our children.
355
00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:37,647
You're the boss, dear.
356
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:38,632
- Dick, enough!
- Dick, enough!
357
00:17:41,383 --> 00:17:43,267
All right, all right.
358
00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:45,674
They're just...
children in costumes.
359
00:17:45,694 --> 00:17:47,425
- Huh?
- What did he say?
360
00:17:49,311 --> 00:17:51,879
They're just children in costumes.
361
00:17:51,899 --> 00:17:54,048
We're not under attack.
362
00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:56,034
It's just
a ridiculous human holiday.
363
00:17:56,068 --> 00:17:57,986
The children just want candy.
364
00:18:00,343 --> 00:18:02,264
Enough! Observe!
365
00:18:19,241 --> 00:18:21,150
Trick or treat!
366
00:18:25,629 --> 00:18:27,567
Whoo! You did it!
You did it!
367
00:18:27,587 --> 00:18:29,595
- All right!
- Good job! What did you get?
368
00:18:32,252 --> 00:18:33,849
I said, trick or treat.
369
00:18:38,389 --> 00:18:39,587
Slowly...
370
00:18:39,607 --> 00:18:41,084
Slowly...
371
00:18:41,104 --> 00:18:43,204
Slowly.
372
00:18:43,224 --> 00:18:45,017
Thank you.
373
00:18:58,813 --> 00:19:00,323
To your homes!
374
00:19:00,343 --> 00:19:03,978
Give the tiny humans
the crap they desire!
375
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,253
- To our homes!
- To our homes!
376
00:19:06,273 --> 00:19:08,437
- To our homes!
- To our homes!
377
00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:12,253
Babe, looks like Halloween
is me and you from now on.
378
00:19:12,273 --> 00:19:14,436
Well, hopefully we'll
outgrow it, too, one day.
379
00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:16,767
Look how much they gave me!
380
00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:17,853
Oh, boy!
381
00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:21,345
Yeah. She said, "aw,
you don't have any candy yet,"
382
00:19:21,365 --> 00:19:24,152
and then she gave me
all of this candy.
383
00:19:24,172 --> 00:19:25,237
Here.
384
00:19:25,257 --> 00:19:26,870
You hold it.
385
00:19:27,656 --> 00:19:31,490
That way, every person
will think I have no candy.
386
00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:34,092
That way,
they'll give me more.
387
00:19:34,766 --> 00:19:38,084
So you're saying you need us
for your candy scam?
388
00:19:39,331 --> 00:19:41,140
It sounds like you're saying
you need your parents
389
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,460
in order to cheat adults
out of candy.
390
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,818
Listen, you are you in or not?!
391
00:19:45,838 --> 00:19:47,742
- Baby!
- Of course we're in.
392
00:19:47,762 --> 00:19:49,209
Hey. I...
393
00:19:49,227 --> 00:19:51,791
I think I want to do
a few houses with you guys.
394
00:19:51,811 --> 00:19:53,455
Honey, is everything okay?
395
00:19:53,475 --> 00:19:54,977
Yeah, it's just...
396
00:19:54,997 --> 00:19:57,846
I think Emma wants to be my girlfriend.
397
00:19:57,866 --> 00:20:00,283
I don't know if I'm ready
for all that.
398
00:20:00,303 --> 00:20:03,452
Half of me still thinks
girls are gross.
399
00:20:03,472 --> 00:20:05,348
So what you're saying is,
400
00:20:05,368 --> 00:20:07,743
you think Halloween
is still a little bit scary?
401
00:20:07,763 --> 00:20:10,511
And you need us,
in new, more important ways?
402
00:20:10,531 --> 00:20:12,881
What's happening here?
403
00:20:12,901 --> 00:20:14,790
Thought I'd find you here.
404
00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:16,810
We bailed on the frozen yogurt
pre-party.
405
00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:19,218
There were, like,
85 slutty nurses there.
406
00:20:19,238 --> 00:20:21,444
But only one exotic lady-boy.
407
00:20:21,464 --> 00:20:23,360
Again, that was not
a compliment.
408
00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:25,810
Turns out, to my dismay,
I have more self-respect
409
00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:28,200
Than the average
16-year-old.
410
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,494
Hey. Come on, guys.
411
00:20:30,514 --> 00:20:31,704
What do you say we hit
a few more houses
412
00:20:31,724 --> 00:20:34,523
before I return lady-boy
here to his brothel?
413
00:20:34,543 --> 00:20:36,455
Come on, guys.
414
00:20:38,490 --> 00:20:39,630
Wait!
415
00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:41,157
I just wanted to say,
416
00:20:41,177 --> 00:20:44,662
I love you kids
very, very much.
417
00:20:44,682 --> 00:20:47,426
What your mother said.
I have no opinions of my own.
418
00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:50,542
Okay, you know what, Dick?
The puppet goes after tonight.
419
00:21:09,663 --> 00:21:10,923
So?
420
00:21:11,054 --> 00:21:12,888
It was
a magical Halloween-ween.
421
00:21:12,908 --> 00:21:14,847
I told you there was
nothing to be afraid of.
422
00:21:14,867 --> 00:21:16,706
- And you were right.
- Mm.
423
00:21:16,726 --> 00:21:19,039
Now I just want to sit back
424
00:21:19,059 --> 00:21:21,500
and share the holiday
with my two sons.
425
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,531
- We're home!
- Did quite well.
426
00:21:27,038 --> 00:21:30,501
I'm sorry. This holiday
is just not for me.
427
00:21:32,397 --> 00:21:34,892
www.addic7ed.com
428
00:21:34,942 --> 00:21:39,492
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