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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,078 --> 00:00:01,366 ? Mr. Beetle Boo ? 2 00:00:01,391 --> 00:00:03,592 ? How do you do? How do you do? ? 3 00:00:03,617 --> 00:00:05,918 ? Mr. Beetle Boo, how do you do? ? 4 00:00:05,985 --> 00:00:07,653 And he says... [GIGGLES] 5 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:08,929 [KEYS JINGLE] 6 00:00:09,722 --> 00:00:11,323 What the... 7 00:00:11,390 --> 00:00:12,890 [HANDLE RATTLING] 8 00:00:16,882 --> 00:00:18,515 - [DOOR CLICKS OPEN] - Oh. 9 00:00:19,297 --> 00:00:20,932 Hi, Camille. Sorry. 10 00:00:20,998 --> 00:00:23,468 I was dropping off my groceries before school, 11 00:00:23,535 --> 00:00:25,242 and my key isn't working. 12 00:00:25,364 --> 00:00:26,933 Do you still have a spare copy? 13 00:00:26,958 --> 00:00:30,461 No. They changed the locks on you. 14 00:00:30,617 --> 00:00:33,023 We don't want your kind here. 15 00:00:34,370 --> 00:00:35,605 [DOOR SLAMS SHUT, WREATH THUDS] 16 00:00:35,719 --> 00:00:36,992 [WHISPERS] Oh. 17 00:00:37,882 --> 00:00:39,217 [OMINOUS MUSICAL FLOURISH] 18 00:00:39,285 --> 00:00:40,818 What? 19 00:00:40,885 --> 00:00:42,220 [DOOR CLICKS OPEN] 20 00:00:42,287 --> 00:00:43,570 By "your kind," 21 00:00:43,609 --> 00:00:45,320 I meant "poor." 22 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:47,062 Yeah, I got it, Camille! 23 00:00:47,087 --> 00:00:51,773 synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com* 24 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,891 It's a new dating app I'm on 25 00:00:53,916 --> 00:00:55,285 called Silver Smooch. 26 00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:57,511 It's basically Tinder but for old people. 27 00:00:57,578 --> 00:00:59,114 So it's a hookup app. 28 00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:00,481 Okay, first of all, 29 00:01:00,548 --> 00:01:02,016 whether or not Tinder is a hookup app 30 00:01:02,082 --> 00:01:03,882 is one of the great debates of our time. 31 00:01:04,054 --> 00:01:06,154 And secondly, I'm using Silver Smooch 32 00:01:06,221 --> 00:01:09,257 to find a fulfilling adult relationship with a mature man. 33 00:01:09,289 --> 00:01:10,562 You do know you're too flat 34 00:01:10,587 --> 00:01:12,126 to be the next Anna Nicole Smith, right? 35 00:01:12,194 --> 00:01:13,460 [GASPS] 36 00:01:13,528 --> 00:01:15,529 I am not looking for a sugar daddy, Deb. 37 00:01:15,596 --> 00:01:16,997 I'm looking for someone with perspective. 38 00:01:17,064 --> 00:01:19,466 Wow, Chelsea. You really are evolving. 39 00:01:19,534 --> 00:01:20,600 Thank you. 40 00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:21,773 And if his pubes are gray, 41 00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,601 I'll just close my eyes when I'm down there. 42 00:01:24,004 --> 00:01:25,179 [SOBBING] 43 00:01:26,674 --> 00:01:29,242 - Caroline, what's wrong? - I've been evicted. 44 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,478 I didn't even know that was possible. 45 00:01:31,546 --> 00:01:33,181 I thought it only happened to people 46 00:01:33,246 --> 00:01:34,915 on gritty TV dramas. 47 00:01:34,983 --> 00:01:37,651 - Why'd you get evicted? - I can't pay my rent. 48 00:01:37,719 --> 00:01:39,120 I told my landlord he'd get it 49 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,273 as soon as my accounts were unfrozen. 50 00:01:41,298 --> 00:01:43,391 A Watson always pays her debts. 51 00:01:43,457 --> 00:01:45,058 - Like a Lannister. - Oh, no. 52 00:01:45,126 --> 00:01:47,162 Mr. Lannister was kicked out of the yacht club 53 00:01:47,227 --> 00:01:49,896 after he brought an escort to the Commodore's Ball. 54 00:01:50,406 --> 00:01:52,700 Okay, we're gonna need to circle back to that. 55 00:01:52,766 --> 00:01:54,748 How much is your rent that you can't pay it? 56 00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:57,471 Normally, I wouldn't answer such a gauche question, 57 00:01:57,539 --> 00:01:58,840 but now that I'm eviction poor, 58 00:01:58,906 --> 00:02:00,429 nothing matters anyway. 59 00:02:01,108 --> 00:02:02,242 $4,000. 60 00:02:02,309 --> 00:02:03,911 - Oh, boy! - What? 61 00:02:03,978 --> 00:02:07,548 My AC/DC-themed Alaskan cruise didn't cost that much. 62 00:02:07,615 --> 00:02:08,815 Sounds like you're going to need something 63 00:02:08,882 --> 00:02:10,150 that's more in your budget. 64 00:02:10,218 --> 00:02:13,155 - I can help you. - [LAUGHS] Budget... 65 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:16,429 We used to make fun of people with those when we were little. 66 00:02:19,977 --> 00:02:21,445 I mean thank you. 67 00:02:21,845 --> 00:02:22,880 Ugly. 68 00:02:22,947 --> 00:02:23,960 Fugly. 69 00:02:24,039 --> 00:02:25,961 Fugnacious. Fug life. 70 00:02:25,986 --> 00:02:28,304 - Fugsly Addams. - Hi, guys. 71 00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:30,789 Hey, Botox. 72 00:02:30,855 --> 00:02:32,690 I didn't get your attendance sheets this morning. 73 00:02:32,756 --> 00:02:34,593 Do I have to ask for them every day? 74 00:02:34,659 --> 00:02:36,076 Stop exaggerating. 75 00:02:36,101 --> 00:02:38,130 We don't come in on the weekends. 76 00:02:38,507 --> 00:02:39,710 They're right there. 77 00:02:41,226 --> 00:02:42,437 I'm waiting. 78 00:02:43,744 --> 00:02:44,979 So am I. 79 00:02:45,117 --> 00:02:46,500 [FOREBODING MUSIC] 80 00:02:47,439 --> 00:02:49,007 Ugh. 81 00:02:52,953 --> 00:02:54,645 Looking up "symptoms of chlamydia"? 82 00:02:54,712 --> 00:02:56,881 If you must know, I'm on Silver Smooch. 83 00:02:56,947 --> 00:02:59,250 Oh. That'll work out well for you. 84 00:02:59,316 --> 00:03:01,017 If they're hard of hearing, maybe they won't 85 00:03:01,084 --> 00:03:02,920 be able to tell you're an idiot. 86 00:03:02,987 --> 00:03:05,356 Maybe they will be able to tell you're an idiot. 87 00:03:05,422 --> 00:03:06,690 Sweet burn. If you're lucky, 88 00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:08,693 maybe you'll find someone who's blind. 89 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,595 Of course, it'll be over once they do 90 00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:12,096 that "feel your face" thing. 91 00:03:12,164 --> 00:03:15,232 At least I have both of my original knees, bitch. 92 00:03:17,539 --> 00:03:20,008 Sorry. Language. 93 00:03:21,281 --> 00:03:22,640 You can go now. 94 00:03:22,859 --> 00:03:25,142 Or do you need someone to wheel you back to your coffin? 95 00:03:25,208 --> 00:03:26,460 [EXHALES SHARPLY] 96 00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:31,015 Gross. Sick. Ugly. Pervert. 97 00:03:31,082 --> 00:03:32,343 [ROCK MUSIC] 98 00:03:35,062 --> 00:03:37,587 Now, what you're smelling is cat piss 99 00:03:37,654 --> 00:03:40,257 with a hint of dead possum. 100 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,125 Don't worry. They're long gone. 101 00:03:42,193 --> 00:03:43,727 Raccoon killed 'em both. 102 00:03:43,794 --> 00:03:46,096 Chewed right through the wall and dragged the carcasses out. 103 00:03:46,164 --> 00:03:48,633 Did our job for us. Hakuna matata. 104 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:50,402 How quaint. 105 00:03:50,468 --> 00:03:53,070 Now you never have to worry about a glare in this apartment 106 00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:55,005 because the sun is almost completely obstructed 107 00:03:55,072 --> 00:03:56,675 by that prison across the street. 108 00:03:56,742 --> 00:03:58,409 - [SIREN WAILING] - [MURMURING INDISTINCTLY] 109 00:03:58,475 --> 00:04:00,812 - Uh, listen, Darnell... - Mm-hmm. 110 00:04:00,879 --> 00:04:03,648 I'm not quite sure this place is to my taste. 111 00:04:03,714 --> 00:04:05,468 It's, um... 112 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,386 You know what? I can't be polite, 113 00:04:08,452 --> 00:04:09,819 so I'm going to stop talking. 114 00:04:09,886 --> 00:04:11,856 Personally, I see a lot of upside. 115 00:04:11,923 --> 00:04:13,825 The six bolt locks on the door mean 116 00:04:13,892 --> 00:04:15,601 you don't need an alarm system. 117 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:18,662 - [GASPS] - Before you ask, uh, 118 00:04:18,729 --> 00:04:19,863 the owner of the building insisted 119 00:04:19,931 --> 00:04:21,365 those are not bullet holes. 120 00:04:21,431 --> 00:04:22,833 Those are from termites. 121 00:04:23,171 --> 00:04:25,068 Maybe you can get 'em to split the rent with you. 122 00:04:25,135 --> 00:04:27,632 Oh, no, one of my pearls fell out. 123 00:04:30,593 --> 00:04:31,820 It's a human tooth. 124 00:04:32,445 --> 00:04:34,111 - We're leaving. - If y'all change your mind, 125 00:04:34,178 --> 00:04:35,880 got to let me know quick, all right? 126 00:04:35,947 --> 00:04:38,416 It's the only unit that no one's been murdered in! 127 00:04:38,481 --> 00:04:39,765 [ROCK MUSIC] 128 00:04:42,852 --> 00:04:44,420 Miss Bennigan? 129 00:04:44,665 --> 00:04:46,999 Oh, hi, Benji. 130 00:04:47,179 --> 00:04:49,125 What are you doing here? 131 00:04:49,273 --> 00:04:51,059 I'm grocery shopping. 132 00:04:51,126 --> 00:04:53,362 But you're a teacher. 133 00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:55,398 Yeah. So? 134 00:05:00,369 --> 00:05:01,703 Okay. 135 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:05,940 Well, I guess I'll see you at school. 136 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:07,530 [ROCK MUSIC] 137 00:05:11,492 --> 00:05:13,415 [ALARM BEEPING] 138 00:05:13,482 --> 00:05:14,945 [BEEPING CONTINUES] 139 00:05:20,773 --> 00:05:22,324 [GASPS] Oh, no. 140 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,750 [BEEPING STOPS] 141 00:05:27,162 --> 00:05:28,363 [WINDOW BLINDS CLATTER] 142 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:30,030 Caroline? 143 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,054 What are you doing? 144 00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,703 I just thought it would be fun 145 00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,539 to work in my nightgown today. 146 00:05:38,613 --> 00:05:39,678 Fine. 147 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,643 I slept here last night. 148 00:05:41,710 --> 00:05:43,912 What? Why would you do that? 149 00:05:43,978 --> 00:05:47,282 - Because I got evicted. - And you didn't tell me? 150 00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:48,684 [SIGHS] 151 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,451 I'm sorry. 152 00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:53,515 - I was embarrassed. - Oh, Caroline. 153 00:05:54,664 --> 00:05:57,026 I was hoping to find a place before you found out, 154 00:05:57,093 --> 00:05:59,360 but unfortunately, all the apartments 155 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,062 on the Craigs place are former murder dens. 156 00:06:02,351 --> 00:06:05,166 But don't worry. I'll find something. 157 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,069 Care Bear, this is silly. 158 00:06:07,136 --> 00:06:08,938 Just move in with me. 159 00:06:09,004 --> 00:06:11,921 But we've only been dating for six months. 160 00:06:12,441 --> 00:06:13,642 I think we're ready. 161 00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,211 I haven't even stayed over. 162 00:06:15,276 --> 00:06:17,078 We always sleep at my place because of the... 163 00:06:17,146 --> 00:06:19,482 BOTH: King-sized bed and cappuccino maker. 164 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:20,835 [BOTH LAUGHING] 165 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,720 Caroline Beatrice Lavinia Watson, move in with me. 166 00:06:25,787 --> 00:06:27,389 I won't take "no" for an answer. 167 00:06:27,456 --> 00:06:29,391 Okay. Okay! Oh. 168 00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,835 - Okay! - Let's move in together! 169 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,730 Oh, you've made me a very happy man. 170 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,098 I have? 171 00:06:36,165 --> 00:06:39,234 Celebrate with a quick trip to the Pacifica? 172 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:40,800 Oh. 173 00:06:41,102 --> 00:06:42,737 [GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC] 174 00:06:42,804 --> 00:06:45,040 Chelsea, you're not swiping right on anybody. 175 00:06:45,107 --> 00:06:47,042 I have high standards when it comes to men. 176 00:06:47,109 --> 00:06:49,476 The last guy you hooked up with had his nose shot off. 177 00:06:49,532 --> 00:06:51,333 He was in a Hummer stretch limo. 178 00:06:51,392 --> 00:06:52,661 Context. 179 00:06:53,328 --> 00:06:55,383 Look at these guys. These suck. 180 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,717 Here we go, "Orland, 181 00:06:56,785 --> 00:06:58,886 "93, German expat. 182 00:06:58,953 --> 00:07:00,655 "Has had to make some hard choices. 183 00:07:00,722 --> 00:07:02,491 Don't ask too many questions." 184 00:07:02,557 --> 00:07:03,624 Yikes. 185 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,393 "Abdul, 68. 186 00:07:05,461 --> 00:07:08,023 Proud grandfather and veteran. No limbs." 187 00:07:08,065 --> 00:07:10,236 Too high maintenance. Oh, my God. 188 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,335 This guy is a piece. 189 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,369 "Miles, 55. 190 00:07:14,436 --> 00:07:16,805 Retired CEO of Fortune 500 company." 191 00:07:16,872 --> 00:07:18,340 [GASPS] "No kids. 192 00:07:18,406 --> 00:07:20,841 I enjoy sushi and sailing my boat to Key West." 193 00:07:21,109 --> 00:07:22,576 Oh, my God, I love sushi, 194 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,179 and Key West could be the name of Kimye's next baby. 195 00:07:25,247 --> 00:07:27,148 [GIGGLES] This guy's perfect. 196 00:07:27,757 --> 00:07:29,485 [GASPS] It's a match! 197 00:07:29,552 --> 00:07:30,619 [GIGGLES] 198 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:31,819 [DRAMATIC MUSICAL FLOURISH] 199 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,781 You just got catfished, bitch. 200 00:07:34,088 --> 00:07:35,304 [CHUCKLES] 201 00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:37,335 [ROCK MUSIC] 202 00:07:45,336 --> 00:07:47,960 Toby, do you mind if I move these laser discs 203 00:07:47,985 --> 00:07:50,070 so I can put a doily on this side table? 204 00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:51,546 Not at all. 205 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,265 Those are ones I pulled out to watch, 206 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:55,901 but I can just write down the titles 207 00:07:55,968 --> 00:07:57,953 and pull 'em out again later. 208 00:07:58,281 --> 00:08:00,939 Do you mind if I put these dishes 209 00:08:01,006 --> 00:08:02,641 in the bottom of the closet? 210 00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:05,210 We don't really need 'em since I've already got my dishes. 211 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,913 Sure. Oh, but do you mind 212 00:08:07,978 --> 00:08:10,481 if we keep just one of my bowls in the cabinet? 213 00:08:10,549 --> 00:08:12,517 It holds just the perfect amount of cereal 214 00:08:12,583 --> 00:08:15,019 - for breakfast in the morning. - Sure thing. 215 00:08:15,086 --> 00:08:17,222 If it's a different size from the rest of my bowls, 216 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,828 I'll just put it on the bottom or top of the stack. 217 00:08:23,595 --> 00:08:26,464 It's bigger than the rest of my bowls. 218 00:08:26,531 --> 00:08:29,968 So we'll just have to lift up the stack of bowls 219 00:08:30,035 --> 00:08:31,390 and put it on the bottom. 220 00:08:31,415 --> 00:08:32,750 Great. 221 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,607 Do you mind if I unplug your lamp 222 00:08:35,632 --> 00:08:36,960 so I can charge my phone? 223 00:08:36,990 --> 00:08:38,257 Not at all. 224 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:41,146 It's my reading light, but if I want to read, 225 00:08:41,213 --> 00:08:43,747 I'll just unplug your charger, plug in the lamp, 226 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,083 and then when I'm done, 227 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,351 I'll unplug the lamp 228 00:08:46,418 --> 00:08:47,853 and plug your charger back in. 229 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,125 - Easy peasy. - Easy peasy. 230 00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:51,656 [ROCK MUSIC] 231 00:08:57,127 --> 00:08:58,687 - Miss Bennigan? - Hi, Benji. 232 00:08:58,803 --> 00:09:00,771 - What are you doing? - I'm jogging. 233 00:09:01,065 --> 00:09:03,067 - On the street? - Yeah. 234 00:09:03,135 --> 00:09:04,403 I live right down the street. 235 00:09:04,469 --> 00:09:06,403 - You live down the street? - Okay. 236 00:09:06,471 --> 00:09:08,359 I thought you lived at school! 237 00:09:08,593 --> 00:09:11,109 Why don't you live at school? 238 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:12,643 [KEYS CLICKING] 239 00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:13,984 [JAZZY MUSIC] 240 00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:33,997 [SNORTS] Liar. 241 00:09:34,064 --> 00:09:35,341 ? ? 242 00:09:44,809 --> 00:09:46,310 Thank you. 243 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,567 ? ? 244 00:10:02,426 --> 00:10:03,724 No. 245 00:10:04,326 --> 00:10:05,794 [SIGHS] 246 00:10:06,097 --> 00:10:07,427 ? ? 247 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,047 [WHISPERS] Class it up. 248 00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:15,875 This bitch is heinous to her anus. 249 00:10:16,141 --> 00:10:18,075 - Oh. - So how's home sweet home 250 00:10:18,142 --> 00:10:20,445 - with Toby? - Oh, it's lovely. 251 00:10:20,511 --> 00:10:23,013 His studio's turned into our little love nest. 252 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,849 - Aw, that's great. - Yeah. 253 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,513 It's been easy peasy. 254 00:10:28,218 --> 00:10:29,588 Question. 255 00:10:29,655 --> 00:10:32,156 Do you ever... eat in bed? 256 00:10:32,223 --> 00:10:34,138 - Like breakfast in bed? - No. 257 00:10:34,163 --> 00:10:36,698 More like... before you go to sleep. 258 00:10:36,864 --> 00:10:38,130 Do you ever just... 259 00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:39,677 chew taffy? 260 00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:41,896 Like cud? 261 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,622 - No. - Toby does. 262 00:10:44,931 --> 00:10:46,528 He sure does. [CHUCKLES] 263 00:10:47,111 --> 00:10:48,448 You know what else is interesting? 264 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,021 He has inspirational quotes everywhere. 265 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,415 Everywhere. 266 00:10:52,676 --> 00:10:54,312 Like the kind you buy near the checkout 267 00:10:54,378 --> 00:10:55,546 at Bed Bath & Beyond. 268 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,615 What's wrong with inspiring quotes? 269 00:11:00,132 --> 00:11:01,247 Nothing. 270 00:11:02,152 --> 00:11:03,599 It's just interesting. 271 00:11:04,356 --> 00:11:06,191 You know what else is interesting? 272 00:11:06,257 --> 00:11:07,624 He highlights every other word 273 00:11:07,692 --> 00:11:09,561 of Vicki Lawrence's autobiography. 274 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,796 I mean, what could Vicki Lawrence have to say 275 00:11:11,862 --> 00:11:13,330 that's so important? 276 00:11:13,747 --> 00:11:15,666 - Everything okay? - I don't know. 277 00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:17,880 Maybe we moved in together too soon. 278 00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:21,673 I'm realizing there's so much we don't know about each other. 279 00:11:21,739 --> 00:11:23,274 The first time I moved in with a partner, 280 00:11:23,342 --> 00:11:25,144 we fought every day for the first month. 281 00:11:25,209 --> 00:11:27,177 But with all the intense arguing 282 00:11:27,245 --> 00:11:29,341 came the most rewarding lovemaking of my life. 283 00:11:29,404 --> 00:11:30,573 You're right. 284 00:11:30,835 --> 00:11:33,503 - I'm sure it'll work out. - Yeah. 285 00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:35,820 Although, in the end, she did steal my laptop 286 00:11:35,887 --> 00:11:36,988 and give me HPV. 287 00:11:37,054 --> 00:11:38,294 [ROCK MUSIC] 288 00:11:44,134 --> 00:11:45,802 Are you kidding me? 289 00:11:45,827 --> 00:11:47,528 Are you kidding me? 290 00:11:48,399 --> 00:11:49,653 [ROCK MUSIC] 291 00:11:51,135 --> 00:11:52,544 [LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC] 292 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,040 Showtime. 293 00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:58,372 ? ? 294 00:12:06,636 --> 00:12:08,575 She's wearing real clothes. 295 00:12:10,075 --> 00:12:12,256 No tube top. What the hell? 296 00:12:12,324 --> 00:12:13,497 ? ? 297 00:12:17,061 --> 00:12:18,349 [MOUTHING WORDS] 298 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,685 ? ? 299 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,794 She wrote out what she's gonna say. 300 00:12:25,223 --> 00:12:26,559 Oh... 301 00:12:26,798 --> 00:12:28,028 crap. 302 00:12:28,324 --> 00:12:29,793 [ROCK MUSIC] 303 00:12:29,969 --> 00:12:31,255 [GRUNTS] 304 00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,343 [GRUNTS AND EXHALES] 305 00:12:33,410 --> 00:12:35,138 [HUMMING "MR. BEETLE BOO"] 306 00:12:40,251 --> 00:12:41,599 - Care Bear. - Hmm? 307 00:12:41,682 --> 00:12:44,018 Could you not hum, please? 308 00:12:44,187 --> 00:12:46,288 - Oh, was I humming? - Yes. 309 00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:47,739 It's a little distracting. 310 00:12:47,764 --> 00:12:49,265 I didn't even realize. 311 00:12:49,493 --> 00:12:51,896 Guess it's just what happens when the music's in you. 312 00:12:51,963 --> 00:12:53,365 [CHUCKLES] 313 00:12:54,866 --> 00:12:56,768 [SIGHS, MURMURING INDISTINCTLY] 314 00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:59,724 [LIPS SMACKING EXAGGERATEDLY, MOUTHING WORDS] 315 00:13:01,372 --> 00:13:02,940 [EXAGGERATED SQUELCHING] 316 00:13:03,007 --> 00:13:06,343 Toby, honey, could you not mouth the words when you read? 317 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,779 Your lips are smacking. 318 00:13:07,846 --> 00:13:09,919 - I'm sorry, sweetheart. - That's okay. 319 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,684 Could you not light that? [SIGHS] 320 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,621 Every time I smell toast, I think I'm having a stroke. 321 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:18,289 The scent isn't "toast," Toby. 322 00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:19,794 It's "Santa's Christmas Cookie." 323 00:13:19,819 --> 00:13:21,455 How about we just go to sleep? 324 00:13:28,165 --> 00:13:29,427 [GROANS] 325 00:13:32,404 --> 00:13:33,653 What's this? 326 00:13:34,718 --> 00:13:35,903 Whoops! 327 00:13:36,308 --> 00:13:38,809 That's... some folded toilet paper 328 00:13:38,877 --> 00:13:42,112 I keep in my underwear to catch any residual leakage 329 00:13:42,179 --> 00:13:43,213 after I urinate. 330 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,683 Ugh! Disgusting! 331 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,114 Wha... sorry! 332 00:13:48,066 --> 00:13:49,255 [SIGHS] 333 00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:52,563 [EXHALES] 334 00:13:52,879 --> 00:13:55,731 Caroline, we can't go to bed angry. 335 00:13:57,695 --> 00:13:59,863 [GASPS] Wh-what is that? 336 00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:01,560 Moustache cream. 337 00:14:02,099 --> 00:14:04,002 Oh, what? So I'm revolting 338 00:14:04,069 --> 00:14:05,803 for bleaching my upper lip but you can have 339 00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:08,440 a pee-spotted man-pon in the bed? 340 00:14:08,506 --> 00:14:10,742 I'm sorry! I prefer not to go to bed 341 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,536 - with Wilford Brimley! - [GASPS] 342 00:14:12,709 --> 00:14:14,185 How dare you? 343 00:14:14,662 --> 00:14:15,963 You know what? 344 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,440 Maybe I should never have moved in in the first place. 345 00:14:18,465 --> 00:14:20,771 - Maybe! - BOTH: Fine! 346 00:14:22,117 --> 00:14:23,685 I have to wash this off. 347 00:14:23,854 --> 00:14:26,257 Not because of you. Because it burns like hell! 348 00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:27,614 [ROCK MUSIC] 349 00:14:29,093 --> 00:14:30,495 [LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC] 350 00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:32,028 Mmm-mmm-mmm. 351 00:14:33,185 --> 00:14:35,224 [MUFFLED] Yeah, you can put that right there, thank you. 352 00:14:35,632 --> 00:14:36,794 Mmm. 353 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,355 - Chelsea. - Mavis? 354 00:14:40,485 --> 00:14:41,474 ? ? 355 00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:43,040 What are you doing here? 356 00:14:43,065 --> 00:14:44,325 I have to tell you something. 357 00:14:44,372 --> 00:14:46,643 Make it quick. I'm on a hot, hot date 358 00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:48,458 - with a hot, hot guy. - No, you're not. 359 00:14:48,483 --> 00:14:50,151 Yes, I am. He's just... 360 00:14:50,176 --> 00:14:52,497 in the bathroom taking a hot, hot dump. 361 00:14:52,544 --> 00:14:53,927 - No, he isn't. - Yes, he is. 362 00:14:53,952 --> 00:14:55,114 - No, he isn't. - Yes, he is! 363 00:14:55,139 --> 00:14:56,591 No, he isn't! I'm Miles. 364 00:14:57,042 --> 00:14:58,243 ? ? 365 00:14:58,409 --> 00:14:59,746 - What? - [SIGHS] 366 00:15:00,339 --> 00:15:03,007 I'm Miles. I catfished you. 367 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,216 ? ? 368 00:15:06,442 --> 00:15:07,731 So you were... 369 00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:09,467 The whole time? 370 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,630 Yes. I'm sorry. 371 00:15:11,919 --> 00:15:13,471 I realized watching you that... 372 00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:14,905 You were watching me? 373 00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:15,973 [SPOON CLATTERS] 374 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,574 You are sick! You know that? 375 00:15:17,641 --> 00:15:19,944 I didn't think you would take it this seriously. 376 00:15:20,011 --> 00:15:23,048 You took my dignity, but you don't get my desserts! 377 00:15:23,113 --> 00:15:24,364 [ROCK MUSIC] 378 00:15:26,418 --> 00:15:28,263 I'm taking a Lyft. 379 00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:29,544 ? ? 380 00:15:33,958 --> 00:15:35,271 [CLOCK TICKING] 381 00:15:37,694 --> 00:15:38,856 [SIGHS] 382 00:15:39,549 --> 00:15:40,763 [GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC] 383 00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,474 Good night, Toblerone. 384 00:15:44,035 --> 00:15:45,255 ? ? 385 00:15:51,442 --> 00:15:53,712 [SOBBING] It really does burn like hell. 386 00:15:53,779 --> 00:15:55,036 [SOBS] 387 00:15:55,782 --> 00:15:57,083 [ROCK MUSIC] 388 00:16:01,521 --> 00:16:03,123 Benji, time to put your book away 389 00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:04,491 and work on your math. 390 00:16:04,557 --> 00:16:05,942 Why should I listen to you? 391 00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:07,326 You're not a teacher. 392 00:16:07,393 --> 00:16:08,942 You're just a regular person. 393 00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:11,502 You're all just regular people! 394 00:16:11,527 --> 00:16:13,930 Yeah. That's right. 395 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:17,192 Teachers are just regular people. 396 00:16:17,575 --> 00:16:20,640 We have feelings and opinions 397 00:16:20,707 --> 00:16:23,142 and crappy cars. 398 00:16:23,210 --> 00:16:25,546 And I wake up every morning at 6:00 a.m. 399 00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:28,781 and drive in traffic on the Dan Ryan... 400 00:16:28,848 --> 00:16:31,618 the Dan Ryan... 401 00:16:31,685 --> 00:16:33,619 to come here and teach all of you, 402 00:16:33,686 --> 00:16:36,922 and I make less than a party clown! 403 00:16:36,989 --> 00:16:39,158 So, yeah, Benji, 404 00:16:39,225 --> 00:16:42,495 I'm just a regular person. 405 00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:45,798 Now take out your dang worksheet! 406 00:16:45,823 --> 00:16:47,192 [ROCK MUSIC] 407 00:16:49,414 --> 00:16:50,700 Thanks, Mavis. 408 00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:55,441 So... how was your date with Miles? 409 00:16:55,508 --> 00:16:57,342 He was a total loser. 410 00:16:57,409 --> 00:16:59,144 He was one of those weird older guys 411 00:16:59,212 --> 00:17:00,446 with a jacked up upper body 412 00:17:00,513 --> 00:17:02,116 and tiny little legs. 413 00:17:02,182 --> 00:17:04,218 So... yeah. 414 00:17:04,283 --> 00:17:05,619 I'm sorry, Chelsea. 415 00:17:05,685 --> 00:17:07,287 I know you were really excited about him. 416 00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:08,854 Yeah, I was, until I realized 417 00:17:08,921 --> 00:17:10,690 old people are lame, really lame. 418 00:17:10,756 --> 00:17:13,025 Well, we'll get you some cookie dough for lunch. 419 00:17:13,092 --> 00:17:14,494 Yeah. 420 00:17:17,330 --> 00:17:18,544 Chelsea... 421 00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:22,569 I am so sorry for what I did last night. 422 00:17:22,594 --> 00:17:24,239 Here are my attendance sheets. 423 00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:27,042 - Look. - Mm. 424 00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:29,943 You hurt my feelings a lot over the years, 425 00:17:30,435 --> 00:17:33,347 and I thought making you feel small and unimportant 426 00:17:33,413 --> 00:17:35,903 might make me feel better, but it didn't. 427 00:17:36,036 --> 00:17:37,483 You're a really bad person. 428 00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,005 You're no angel either. 429 00:17:39,153 --> 00:17:42,455 I know I've been sometimes a little bit kind of 430 00:17:42,522 --> 00:17:43,991 barely at all rude to you, 431 00:17:44,057 --> 00:17:46,493 but I have basically been polite and respectful. 432 00:17:46,559 --> 00:17:47,994 What's my last name? 433 00:17:48,061 --> 00:17:49,458 Mavis... 434 00:17:51,298 --> 00:17:54,692 Maaa-visss. 435 00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:57,185 My name is not Mavis Mavis. 436 00:17:57,653 --> 00:17:59,130 [SIGHS] Fine. 437 00:18:00,268 --> 00:18:01,636 I am sorry. 438 00:18:01,741 --> 00:18:03,210 I know I can be a ratchet beast, 439 00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:05,481 but I'm trying really hard to be better. 440 00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,147 I should've been nicer to you. 441 00:18:08,214 --> 00:18:09,816 Apology accepted. 442 00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:11,784 And I believe there's a good person 443 00:18:11,851 --> 00:18:14,620 somewhere deep inside that ratchet beast. 444 00:18:14,686 --> 00:18:16,657 You're gonna make me cry again. 445 00:18:16,724 --> 00:18:17,991 [GIGGLES] 446 00:18:18,058 --> 00:18:19,599 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 447 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,362 - That felt weird. - Yes, it did. 448 00:18:23,429 --> 00:18:24,755 Let's not do that again. 449 00:18:24,787 --> 00:18:26,155 [ROCK MUSIC] 450 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,536 - Toby. - Caroline. 451 00:18:29,856 --> 00:18:32,339 - I'm sorry. - No, I'm sorry. 452 00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:35,175 I'm really glad you moved in with me. 453 00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:36,505 Me too. 454 00:18:36,552 --> 00:18:38,477 We're just experiencing some growing pains. 455 00:18:38,544 --> 00:18:41,514 Maybe we need to establish some house rules. 456 00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,146 That's a great idea. 457 00:18:43,911 --> 00:18:45,618 You know who could help us with that? 458 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,120 Caroline, Toby asks that you refrain 459 00:18:48,187 --> 00:18:51,083 from doing your vocal warm-ups until at least 7:00 a.m. 460 00:18:51,401 --> 00:18:54,071 Fine, I'll save it for the ride to school. 461 00:18:54,096 --> 00:18:56,528 And, Toby, uh, Caroline has proposed 462 00:18:56,596 --> 00:18:58,498 that you stop calling Target "Targets." 463 00:18:58,564 --> 00:18:59,698 I don't do that. 464 00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:00,935 Where do we get our paper towels? 465 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,161 Targets. 466 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:03,786 Okay, I'll stop. 467 00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:07,348 Caroline, Toby asks that you not refold his T-shirts. 468 00:19:07,411 --> 00:19:08,742 So you want your T-shirt stack to look 469 00:19:08,808 --> 00:19:10,450 like something out of a Dr. Seuss book? 470 00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:11,878 Caroline. 471 00:19:12,379 --> 00:19:13,981 - Okay. - Great. 472 00:19:14,481 --> 00:19:16,583 And, Toby, Caroline proposes 473 00:19:16,649 --> 00:19:19,106 you take down the signs of inspirational quotes. 474 00:19:19,178 --> 00:19:21,208 - I'd rather not. - Fine. 475 00:19:22,106 --> 00:19:24,185 - But that's a big one. - Moving on. 476 00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:27,092 What's a "man-pon"? 477 00:19:27,159 --> 00:19:28,629 Toby? 478 00:19:28,695 --> 00:19:29,958 [ROCK MUSIC] 479 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,810 "No one had seen Harvey in the dress. 480 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:39,112 "When he walked out with breasts like torpedoes, 481 00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,849 Tim immediately broke"... 482 00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:42,216 [BOTH LAUGHING] 483 00:19:43,919 --> 00:19:46,220 Ahh. 484 00:19:46,287 --> 00:19:49,257 "My eyes widened. My lips began to quiver. 485 00:19:49,323 --> 00:19:50,691 "But I didn't break. 486 00:19:50,913 --> 00:19:53,558 I knew I deserved my place in the show." 487 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:54,870 - Hmm. - Yeah. 488 00:19:54,895 --> 00:19:56,663 - Yeah, good for Vicki. - I like that about her. 489 00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:58,968 - Yeah. - Know it. Own it. 490 00:19:58,993 --> 00:20:00,731 Yeah, own it. 491 00:20:00,755 --> 00:20:05,489 synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com* 492 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:10,089 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33374

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