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1
00:00:02,383 --> 00:00:03,918
[HEART BEATING]
2
00:00:03,983 --> 00:00:05,553
There's the little peanut pie.
3
00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:08,062
I can't believe
that thing's inside of me.
4
00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,709
I feel like that guy in "Alien."
5
00:00:10,776 --> 00:00:13,446
[IMITATES BURSTING SOUNDS]
6
00:00:13,695 --> 00:00:15,937
Never seen it.
I don't care for Sigourney Weaver.
7
00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:18,450
Oh, and there's
her little heart beating.
8
00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:19,818
Her?
9
00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:22,898
Oh! You wanted the gender
to be a surprise.
10
00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:25,195
Well, surprise! Ha, it's a girl.
11
00:00:25,220 --> 00:00:27,445
No, I need to have a boy.
12
00:00:27,626 --> 00:00:30,093
Are you sure? I mean, what's that?
13
00:00:30,218 --> 00:00:31,830
That looks like a penis, right?
14
00:00:31,934 --> 00:00:33,302
That's her finger,
15
00:00:33,565 --> 00:00:35,702
- and there are ten of them...
- [SIGHS]
16
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,905
So thank God they aren't
penises, right? [LAUGHS]
17
00:00:38,971 --> 00:00:41,740
I mean, you would still
love her, of course.
18
00:00:42,874 --> 00:00:45,677
Hey, why don't we take
your mind off this
19
00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:48,047
and swab your vagina for strep?
20
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,049
You can get strep in your vagina?
21
00:00:50,115 --> 00:00:52,875
Oh, yeah. It's the throat of the thighs.
22
00:00:54,195 --> 00:00:59,164
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
23
00:01:00,781 --> 00:01:03,027
Step right up, my little
honor roll astronauts.
24
00:01:03,095 --> 00:01:06,265
Our space bus is about to blast off
25
00:01:06,331 --> 00:01:08,533
to the magical planet of Arium.
26
00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:10,670
The "planet-arium."
27
00:01:10,735 --> 00:01:12,437
Planetarium. [LAUGHS]
28
00:01:12,504 --> 00:01:14,372
Don't you just love field trips?
29
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,075
They make me feel like a kid again.
30
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,422
No, they suck. The kids go insane.
31
00:01:18,488 --> 00:01:20,189
It's like a prison break,
but instead of shivs,
32
00:01:20,256 --> 00:01:22,437
they have fidget spinners.
Do we have everyone?
33
00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:24,437
Everyone but Nancy Sullivan.
34
00:01:24,462 --> 00:01:26,429
Has anyone seen Nancy Sullivan?
35
00:01:26,590 --> 00:01:28,092
Nancy?
36
00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:30,201
Oh, well, we gave it our
best shot. Let's go.
37
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:33,003
Chelsea, we can't leave
when a student's gone missing.
38
00:01:33,070 --> 00:01:35,273
- We're chaperones.
- So?
39
00:01:35,672 --> 00:01:38,546
Okay. I'll go find Nancy.
40
00:01:38,571 --> 00:01:39,851
No, I'll go.
41
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,788
I don't wanna be on the bus
any longer than I have to.
42
00:01:41,813 --> 00:01:42,948
It already smells like hot bologna
43
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:43,849
and milk farts in there.
44
00:01:43,915 --> 00:01:45,216
Dibs on going with Chelsea!
45
00:01:45,283 --> 00:01:47,953
Ooh, better luck next time, Caroline.
46
00:01:48,019 --> 00:01:49,154
You gotta be quick.
47
00:01:49,221 --> 00:01:51,515
Yeah... you win.
48
00:01:51,989 --> 00:01:53,390
? ?
49
00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:58,015
Jordan, let me see
those animal crackers.
50
00:01:59,542 --> 00:02:01,511
Oh, yeah, these are expired.
51
00:02:01,536 --> 00:02:03,781
You don't wanna eat 'em.
I'll throw them away for you.
52
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:08,475
Baby's making you hungry, huh?
53
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,341
Baby's making me depressed.
54
00:02:10,570 --> 00:02:12,139
I just found out I'm having a girl.
55
00:02:12,164 --> 00:02:15,435
[GASPS] Oh, my Gaia! That's wonderful.
56
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:17,582
- Congratulations.
- No, it isn't.
57
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,839
Having a girl terrifies me,
58
00:02:19,905 --> 00:02:21,507
and I've had a Willem Dafoe sex dream.
59
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,577
Why is having a girl
scarier than having a boy?
60
00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:26,945
I don't know how to relate to girls.
61
00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:28,682
You know you are one, right?
62
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,717
Yeah, but I'm not your typical girl.
63
00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:32,419
They're high-maintenance and emotional,
64
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,321
and I hate princesses and pink
and girly garbage.
65
00:02:35,387 --> 00:02:37,824
Deb, do you even realize
how sexist you sound?
66
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,625
Not all girls are like that.
67
00:02:39,691 --> 00:02:40,812
[GIRLS GIGGLING IN BACK]
68
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,890
I get Cody Simpson,
69
00:02:41,915 --> 00:02:43,656
and you have to take Harry Styles.
70
00:02:43,937 --> 00:02:46,289
No, no, other way around.
71
00:02:46,469 --> 00:02:48,370
You were saying?
72
00:02:48,437 --> 00:02:49,871
You know what?
73
00:02:49,939 --> 00:02:51,375
Today we're sitting with the girls.
74
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,531
What... no, no!
75
00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:54,796
It's like "My Little Pony"
banged a Bratz doll back there.
76
00:02:54,876 --> 00:02:56,577
- [GIRLS GIGGLING]
- Hey, gals.
77
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:58,429
ALL: Hi, Ms. Cannon.
78
00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:00,284
Hi.
79
00:03:00,309 --> 00:03:01,757
[SLOW ROCK MUSIC]
80
00:03:03,418 --> 00:03:05,287
- Nancy?
- Nancy?
81
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,857
Isn't Nancy a weird name for a kid?
82
00:03:07,923 --> 00:03:09,157
I feel like if you're named Nancy,
83
00:03:09,225 --> 00:03:11,126
you automatically have
two kids and a FUPA.
84
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:14,562
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, and you call
boxed wine your "sassy juice."
85
00:03:14,630 --> 00:03:16,332
BOTH: Nancy?
86
00:03:16,399 --> 00:03:20,269
Ugh, trying to find
a missing child is so hard.
87
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,504
I'm, like, starving.
88
00:03:21,571 --> 00:03:23,239
Oh, let's swoop by the teachers' lounge.
89
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,873
I have my ten hardboiled eggs
in there for the week.
90
00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:26,208
You can have them all.
91
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,209
Ew, I haven't eaten yolk since the '90s.
92
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,845
If we're gonna find this girl,
we need to carb up.
93
00:03:29,911 --> 00:03:31,346
I'll have Meal Chauffeur deliver us
94
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,687
something from Le Kru'ton.
What's Le Kru'ton?
95
00:03:33,757 --> 00:03:35,684
Only the most popular new salad place
96
00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,052
in the Chicagoland area.
97
00:03:37,119 --> 00:03:38,986
They're like the Baskin Robbins
of croutons,
98
00:03:39,054 --> 00:03:41,703
except they have 72 flavors
instead of 31.
99
00:03:42,357 --> 00:03:43,490
And they're croutons.
100
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:44,757
- Oh.
- What do you want?
101
00:03:44,782 --> 00:03:46,118
I'll have whatever you're having.
102
00:03:46,462 --> 00:03:48,609
Two Create Your Own
Kru'ton Combos coming up.
103
00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:51,238
- Nancy?
- Can you not?
104
00:03:51,601 --> 00:03:53,554
I'm trying to place an order here.
105
00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,366
There, done.
106
00:03:56,456 --> 00:03:58,524
Karen will be here in 30 minutes.
107
00:03:58,568 --> 00:04:00,137
Delivery woman?
108
00:04:00,233 --> 00:04:02,389
Damn, Karen. Resist.
109
00:04:02,678 --> 00:04:03,921
[ROCK MUSIC]
110
00:04:04,814 --> 00:04:06,215
Okay, everybody,
111
00:04:06,281 --> 00:04:08,016
while we're waiting for Nancy,
112
00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:10,486
why don't we all enjoy a healthy snack?
113
00:04:10,945 --> 00:04:13,789
You know what they say,
an apple a day...
114
00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:15,781
Phil?
115
00:04:16,992 --> 00:04:19,894
Ugh. God, Phil, throw me a bone here.
116
00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:21,363
All aboard!
117
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:24,600
The Braid Train is leaving Hair Station.
118
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:27,469
Next stop, Updos!
119
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,937
So, Mrs. Adler,
what's your husband like?
120
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,374
- Is he cute?
- No.
121
00:04:35,398 --> 00:04:38,081
Just kidding. Yeah, he's cute...
122
00:04:38,146 --> 00:04:39,814
in a Bilbo Baggins kind of way.
123
00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:42,016
[GIRLS GIGGLE]
124
00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:43,640
Why do they laugh so much?
125
00:04:43,665 --> 00:04:46,054
Wanna find out how many
babies you're gonna have?
126
00:04:46,121 --> 00:04:47,789
I already know. One.
127
00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:50,126
After this, I'm getting
my tubes tied into a bow,
128
00:04:50,193 --> 00:04:52,829
because it's a gift
to never be pregnant again.
129
00:04:53,828 --> 00:04:55,539
[INHALES SHARPLY] Okay, sure!
130
00:04:55,765 --> 00:04:57,171
- Pick a color.
- Black.
131
00:04:57,226 --> 00:04:58,534
There is no black.
132
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,773
Then I guess I'm out.
133
00:05:01,304 --> 00:05:04,306
Okay, why don't we play
something different?
134
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,171
[GASPS] Can we give you guys makeovers?
135
00:05:07,196 --> 00:05:09,965
Sounds fun! Right, Deb?
136
00:05:13,749 --> 00:05:15,584
- Sure...
- [GIRLS GIGGLE]
137
00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:18,186
Just be gentle. I use a lot of retinol.
138
00:05:18,254 --> 00:05:20,254
- Ms. Watson?
- Yes, Neil?
139
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,290
Daniel won't let me sit next to him.
140
00:05:22,357 --> 00:05:24,226
Daniel, there is plenty of room there.
141
00:05:24,292 --> 00:05:26,662
That seat's for two. It's already taken.
142
00:05:26,729 --> 00:05:29,398
My best friend, Johnny Ravioli,
is sitting here.
143
00:05:29,465 --> 00:05:32,203
Is Johnny Ravioli your imaginary friend?
144
00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:34,162
No, he's real,
145
00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:35,826
and you're disturbing him.
146
00:05:35,979 --> 00:05:37,781
He's trying to read "Girl on the Train."
147
00:05:38,187 --> 00:05:40,242
[CHUCKLES] Oh, well, I'm very
sorry for disturbing him,
148
00:05:40,309 --> 00:05:42,076
but do you think you could ask Johnny
149
00:05:42,143 --> 00:05:44,213
to stand in the aisle
so Neil can sit down?
150
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:47,016
I can't believe
you're asking him to stand up!
151
00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:49,518
- He was here first.
- Well, I am,
152
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:52,695
so please thank Mr. Ravioli
for understanding.
153
00:05:53,756 --> 00:05:55,320
What about Johnny's apple?
154
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,292
Apples are only for students, Daniel.
155
00:05:57,359 --> 00:05:59,718
But Johnny Ravioli was
running late this morning
156
00:05:59,743 --> 00:06:01,687
and didn't get to have
his bagel and lox.
157
00:06:02,773 --> 00:06:06,648
Okay, Johnny can have one apple.
158
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:11,840
Why'd you just touch Johnny's wiener?
159
00:06:11,907 --> 00:06:13,909
- What?
- You touched his wiener!
160
00:06:13,975 --> 00:06:16,043
[STAMMERS] I can assure you, Daniel,
161
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,913
that I did not touch anybody's wiener.
162
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:22,150
Uh... sit somewhere else, Neil!
163
00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:24,136
Apple time's over!
164
00:06:24,361 --> 00:06:25,995
[ROCK MUSIC]
165
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,185
Ta-da! [GIGGLES]
166
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:31,087
We look like sex dolls
that got left out in the sun.
167
00:06:31,154 --> 00:06:33,656
- You don't like it?
- Of course she does.
168
00:06:33,723 --> 00:06:37,093
Mrs. Adler just means
the makeup is a little...
169
00:06:37,161 --> 00:06:39,428
Halloweeny. I can't wait for Halloween.
170
00:06:39,495 --> 00:06:41,464
I'm gonna be Belle from
"Beauty and the Beast."
171
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:44,401
- And I'm gonna be Rapunzel!
- And I'm gonna be Snow White!
172
00:06:44,468 --> 00:06:47,170
You know Snow White was
drugged and assaulted, right?
173
00:06:47,237 --> 00:06:48,882
- Deb!
- And Belle's a clear case
174
00:06:48,907 --> 00:06:49,975
of Stockholm syndrome.
175
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,909
And don't even get me
started on Rapunzel.
176
00:06:51,975 --> 00:06:54,310
It's like if the movie "Room"
were a fairy tale.
177
00:06:54,377 --> 00:06:57,280
- But I love Rapunzel.
- Get serious, Danica.
178
00:06:57,346 --> 00:06:59,115
If someone was climbing up your hair,
179
00:06:59,182 --> 00:07:01,283
your scalp would rip right off.
180
00:07:02,132 --> 00:07:04,254
- All right, I'm done.
- Wha... what's wrong?
181
00:07:04,867 --> 00:07:07,056
[SIGHS] I can't be around
your toxic energy anymore.
182
00:07:07,124 --> 00:07:08,585
You're not even trying!
183
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:10,779
Little girls aren't the problem.
You are.
184
00:07:10,804 --> 00:07:12,195
I'm taking a walk.
185
00:07:14,845 --> 00:07:17,314
And you should be terrified
to have a little girl.
186
00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:19,546
She's gonna need a lot of therapy.
187
00:07:19,835 --> 00:07:20,869
[SCOFFS]
188
00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:24,515
? ?
189
00:07:25,141 --> 00:07:27,243
You never watched "Rainbow Brite"?
190
00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:29,113
- What about "Care Bears"?
- No.
191
00:07:29,178 --> 00:07:30,579
My parents didn't like
that when they did
192
00:07:30,646 --> 00:07:32,315
the Care Bear Stare,
they led with their crotch.
193
00:07:32,789 --> 00:07:35,156
Sometimes I don't know
how to respond to your stories.
194
00:07:35,819 --> 00:07:37,421
Where is Karen?
195
00:07:37,887 --> 00:07:39,622
How hard is it to drive
somewhere with food?
196
00:07:39,690 --> 00:07:42,125
- I'm famished.
- Me too.
197
00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:44,500
I'm so hungry, I could eat you!
198
00:07:44,525 --> 00:07:45,859
We talked about tickling.
199
00:07:48,512 --> 00:07:50,213
Oh, my God. [SCOFFS]
200
00:07:50,365 --> 00:07:52,334
she went to the wrong side
of the building.
201
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,370
There are so many stupid people
in this world.
202
00:07:54,437 --> 00:07:55,939
[SCOFFS] Why?
203
00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:57,573
When I see her, I'm gonna ream her out.
204
00:07:57,639 --> 00:07:58,908
[LAUGHS] Just kidding.
205
00:07:58,976 --> 00:08:00,444
I'm gonna say thank you and take my bag.
206
00:08:00,509 --> 00:08:02,545
Ha! Nancy?
207
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,879
Nancy?
208
00:08:03,947 --> 00:08:05,548
No? Okay.
209
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,883
How long does it take to find a kid?
210
00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:09,619
[CHILDREN YELLING]
211
00:08:09,685 --> 00:08:11,053
Uh, listen up, everyone!
212
00:08:11,304 --> 00:08:16,406
I spy, uh, something... red.
213
00:08:16,431 --> 00:08:17,665
When are we leaving?
214
00:08:17,716 --> 00:08:19,685
When everyone gets on the bus, Neil.
215
00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:21,280
Johnny Ravioli's bored.
216
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,241
Oh... I'm sorry.
217
00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:25,767
What would Johnny Ravioli like to do?
218
00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:29,339
He says it's not his job to
think of things for us to do.
219
00:08:29,578 --> 00:08:32,141
He says if you were
a responsible teacher,
220
00:08:32,209 --> 00:08:34,477
you would've made a contingency plan.
221
00:08:34,544 --> 00:08:37,213
Well, tell Johnny Ravioli
thank you for the feedback.
222
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,195
I'll take it into consideration.
223
00:08:40,449 --> 00:08:43,085
Now, I'm gonna get more specific.
224
00:08:43,152 --> 00:08:46,156
I spy something autumnal red.
225
00:08:46,223 --> 00:08:48,382
Johnny says this game is insipid.
226
00:08:48,891 --> 00:08:50,893
"Insipid"?
227
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,361
Where did you learn that word?
228
00:08:52,429 --> 00:08:54,765
I didn't. I don't know that word.
229
00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:59,536
Okay, everybody, Quiet Caterpillar.
230
00:08:59,602 --> 00:09:01,571
[SHUSHING]
231
00:09:01,637 --> 00:09:04,007
Johnny says that's
such a condescending way
232
00:09:04,073 --> 00:09:06,141
to ask children to settle down.
233
00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:08,143
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
234
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:11,046
He says maybe you should
try to, I don't know,
235
00:09:11,113 --> 00:09:14,917
relate to children like
they're actual human beings?
236
00:09:17,652 --> 00:09:19,054
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
237
00:09:20,288 --> 00:09:21,856
This bus is out of control!
238
00:09:22,002 --> 00:09:24,914
Now, everybody sit down
and shut your mouths!
239
00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:28,890
Except Johnny Ravioli, of course.
240
00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:31,303
He still has to stand in the aisle.
241
00:09:34,871 --> 00:09:36,531
How do you like them apples?
242
00:09:36,678 --> 00:09:37,947
? ?
243
00:09:38,108 --> 00:09:39,376
I don't understand.
244
00:09:39,443 --> 00:09:41,011
How can the app say
she's on the playground?
245
00:09:41,078 --> 00:09:42,946
- We were just there.
- I'm seriously starving.
246
00:09:43,012 --> 00:09:45,648
Like, I could die. Where is she?
247
00:09:47,123 --> 00:09:48,291
Are you looking for me?
248
00:09:48,316 --> 00:09:49,718
I'm sorry for holding everyone up.
249
00:09:49,743 --> 00:09:51,664
- Is your name Karen?
- No.
250
00:09:51,689 --> 00:09:53,891
Then we're not looking for you.
251
00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:56,851
Wait!
252
00:09:57,059 --> 00:09:58,398
[BUILDING MUSIC]
253
00:10:00,464 --> 00:10:02,864
Have you seen a woman
with a bag of food?
254
00:10:02,931 --> 00:10:05,000
- No?
- [SIGHS] Rats.
255
00:10:05,068 --> 00:10:06,492
Mary Louise...
256
00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:09,105
her icon disappeared off the map.
257
00:10:09,171 --> 00:10:10,492
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
258
00:10:11,974 --> 00:10:13,810
She's gone.
259
00:10:13,877 --> 00:10:15,406
I'm calling her.
260
00:10:16,112 --> 00:10:17,747
It went straight to voicemail!
261
00:10:17,814 --> 00:10:21,084
Chelsea... Karen's missing.
262
00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:22,914
BOTH: Karen!
263
00:10:23,652 --> 00:10:26,455
[ALL SOBBING] Come on, stop crying.
264
00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:29,593
I'm sorry I said
that "MASH" game isn't real.
265
00:10:29,659 --> 00:10:30,894
It's just, statistically,
266
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,028
most of you won't ever
live in a mansion.
267
00:10:33,095 --> 00:10:35,562
So I'll never marry Cody Simpson?
268
00:10:35,587 --> 00:10:36,889
You might,
269
00:10:36,914 --> 00:10:38,843
but at that point,
he'll probably be in rehab.
270
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:40,290
[GIRLS SOBBING]
271
00:10:40,536 --> 00:10:43,305
I'm just trying to be
honest with you guys.
272
00:10:43,372 --> 00:10:44,840
Uh, I hate it when adults lie.
273
00:10:44,907 --> 00:10:47,209
The truth is, you'll probably
end up settling for a guy
274
00:10:47,276 --> 00:10:49,179
you wouldn't have dreamed
of dating in your 20s.
275
00:10:49,244 --> 00:10:50,664
[GIRLS SOBBING]
276
00:10:53,949 --> 00:10:56,185
I'm gonna go wash this crap off my face.
277
00:10:56,835 --> 00:10:59,070
STUDENTS: [CHANTING]
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
278
00:10:59,109 --> 00:11:01,457
Deb, what are you doing?
279
00:11:01,523 --> 00:11:03,793
STUDENTS: Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!
280
00:11:03,859 --> 00:11:06,395
Okay, we will leave
when they get Nanc...
281
00:11:06,463 --> 00:11:08,731
STUDENTS: Let's go! Let's go!
282
00:11:08,797 --> 00:11:11,333
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
283
00:11:11,401 --> 00:11:13,476
[AIR HORN HONKS, STUDENTS GROAN]
284
00:11:15,238 --> 00:11:17,609
How dare you throw an apple core at me!
285
00:11:18,174 --> 00:11:19,408
From here on out,
286
00:11:19,474 --> 00:11:22,078
everybody stays seated and silent.
287
00:11:22,373 --> 00:11:23,675
Got it?
288
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:26,403
I can't believe I have to
clean up after you.
289
00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:29,185
[FART NOISE]
290
00:11:29,252 --> 00:11:30,679
[STUDENTS LAUGH]
291
00:11:32,835 --> 00:11:34,617
- Who did that?
- Johnny Ravioli.
292
00:11:34,769 --> 00:11:36,570
Well, it better not happen again.
293
00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:38,976
I mean it.
294
00:11:42,565 --> 00:11:43,678
[FART NOISE]
295
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,984
[STUDENTS LAUGH]
296
00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:47,242
Okay, that's it.
297
00:11:49,473 --> 00:11:51,741
Listen up, Johnny, I have been
putting up with you all day,
298
00:11:51,808 --> 00:11:53,176
and I am sick of it!
299
00:11:53,242 --> 00:11:55,328
So help me, God, you better... uh.
300
00:11:55,556 --> 00:11:57,858
Don't you walk away from me,
Johnny Ravioli.
301
00:11:58,079 --> 00:12:00,049
Hey, you can't get off the bus.
302
00:12:00,116 --> 00:12:02,018
Johnny? Where's he going?
303
00:12:02,084 --> 00:12:03,453
I don't know.
304
00:12:04,154 --> 00:12:05,589
[TENSE MUSIC]
305
00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:07,591
Johnny, look out! There's a car coming!
306
00:12:08,242 --> 00:12:09,468
[ALL GASP]
307
00:12:10,092 --> 00:12:12,127
- [CAR HONKING]
- No, Johnny, no!
308
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,296
- [CAR CRASHES]
- The car hit him!
309
00:12:14,363 --> 00:12:15,632
[CHILDREN GASPING]
310
00:12:15,699 --> 00:12:18,367
Oh, thank goodness, he's getting up.
311
00:12:18,435 --> 00:12:20,210
He could still pull through.
312
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,843
Oh, my God! No!
313
00:12:23,984 --> 00:12:25,709
- [TRUCK CRASHES]
- A garbage truck hit him!
314
00:12:26,171 --> 00:12:29,513
His intestines are
all wrapped up in the wheel.
315
00:12:29,579 --> 00:12:33,549
Two hit-and-runs.
How could this possibly happen?
316
00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:34,664
[STUDENTS CRYING]
317
00:12:34,689 --> 00:12:36,617
Johnny's dead!
318
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,160
[CHUCKLING]
319
00:12:38,454 --> 00:12:39,796
[STUDENTS SOBBING]
320
00:12:41,523 --> 00:12:43,015
[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]
321
00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:50,757
I came by to see if you need any help.
322
00:12:51,453 --> 00:12:54,423
Excuse me! Have you seen this girl?
323
00:12:54,529 --> 00:12:55,798
Ugh.
324
00:12:55,951 --> 00:12:57,385
Hey! You!
325
00:12:57,414 --> 00:12:59,146
Have you seen this woman? She's missing.
326
00:12:59,171 --> 00:13:00,578
Her name is Karen.
327
00:13:01,421 --> 00:13:03,146
Maybe we should call Meal Chauffeur.
328
00:13:03,171 --> 00:13:04,484
It's no use. They don't consider her
329
00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:06,904
a missing delivery person until
it's been at least an hour.
330
00:13:06,929 --> 00:13:08,249
This is crazy.
331
00:13:08,316 --> 00:13:09,418
I mean, it's like
these people don't have
332
00:13:09,486 --> 00:13:10,754
croutons of their own.
333
00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,955
I mean, what if it was
one of their croutons?
334
00:13:13,022 --> 00:13:14,554
BOTH: Karen!
335
00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:16,429
[ROCK MUSIC]
336
00:13:24,832 --> 00:13:26,085
[GRUNTS]
337
00:13:28,426 --> 00:13:29,789
Hello?
338
00:13:31,541 --> 00:13:32,952
Who's in there?
339
00:13:33,492 --> 00:13:35,545
[QUIETLY] It's Nancy.
340
00:13:35,612 --> 00:13:37,613
Nancy, we've been looking for you.
341
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,953
What are you doing
in the faculty bathroom?
342
00:13:40,523 --> 00:13:42,562
- Hiding.
- Why?
343
00:13:43,085 --> 00:13:45,015
I don't wanna talk about it.
344
00:13:46,668 --> 00:13:48,211
Can you open the door?
345
00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:52,617
What's going on?
346
00:13:53,029 --> 00:13:54,964
I think I pooped my pants...
347
00:13:55,031 --> 00:13:56,406
but in the front.
348
00:13:57,039 --> 00:14:00,069
Oh, Nancy, you didn't poop your pants.
349
00:14:00,136 --> 00:14:01,976
You got your period.
350
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:03,953
And you're in luck,
351
00:14:03,978 --> 00:14:06,083
because if there is
one thing I'm queen of,
352
00:14:06,108 --> 00:14:07,523
it's menstruation.
353
00:14:07,703 --> 00:14:09,379
I know there are better things
to be queen of,
354
00:14:09,445 --> 00:14:11,413
but what I'm saying here is,
355
00:14:11,479 --> 00:14:13,181
I've got your back, girl.
356
00:14:13,248 --> 00:14:14,850
? ?
357
00:14:17,494 --> 00:14:19,382
I don't wanna have my period.
358
00:14:19,602 --> 00:14:21,536
Just wait until you're in your 20s.
359
00:14:21,603 --> 00:14:23,703
You'll thank your lucky stars
every time you get it.
360
00:14:23,812 --> 00:14:25,514
Why did it have to come so soon?
361
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:26,815
I'm nine.
362
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,975
It's all the hormones in your milk, kid.
363
00:14:29,444 --> 00:14:31,947
Look, I know it's a little early,
364
00:14:32,013 --> 00:14:33,882
but your body is starting to mature,
365
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,518
and that's a good thing.
366
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,820
I mean, you're gonna
have to deal with cramps
367
00:14:37,886 --> 00:14:39,088
and lower back pain,
368
00:14:39,153 --> 00:14:41,489
and guys asking you
if you're on your period
369
00:14:41,555 --> 00:14:43,225
just because you're in a bad mood,
370
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:45,726
which, by the way, is not okay.
371
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,731
But you're also on your way
to becoming a woman.
372
00:14:48,797 --> 00:14:50,698
I mean, you're nine,
so don't take that like,
373
00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:53,402
"Oh, you have to be
a real grown-up" yet,
374
00:14:53,469 --> 00:14:55,438
It's just, you've joined the club
375
00:14:55,463 --> 00:14:57,005
ahead of a lot of your friends,
376
00:14:57,071 --> 00:14:59,041
and that's kinda rad.
377
00:14:59,108 --> 00:15:03,232
I know this feels really
annoying and gross right now,
378
00:15:03,257 --> 00:15:07,226
but this is a really special
moment in your life.
379
00:15:07,251 --> 00:15:09,252
Thanks, Mrs. Adler.
380
00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:12,387
I can't believe I got
my first period on a bus.
381
00:15:12,593 --> 00:15:13,937
Oh, don't feel bad.
382
00:15:13,962 --> 00:15:16,030
I got mind at a Korn concert.
383
00:15:16,055 --> 00:15:17,828
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING]
384
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,742
Why is my neck wet?
385
00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:22,867
Why is my neck wet?!
386
00:15:23,372 --> 00:15:26,808
What's on my neck?! What's on my neck?!
387
00:15:27,102 --> 00:15:30,226
I think we should have a celebration.
388
00:15:30,671 --> 00:15:32,031
Hmm?
389
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,046
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC]
390
00:15:36,045 --> 00:15:37,992
I'd like to take a moment of silence
391
00:15:38,513 --> 00:15:40,875
for my dear friend, Johnny.
392
00:15:41,684 --> 00:15:42,820
? ?
393
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,687
You could've put him in jail.
394
00:15:45,754 --> 00:15:46,954
Why'd you go straight to murder?
395
00:15:47,022 --> 00:15:48,812
I don't know, okay? It was a mistake.
396
00:15:48,837 --> 00:15:50,007
Thank you.
397
00:15:50,959 --> 00:15:54,530
Jonathan Pumpkin Ravioli died
398
00:15:54,597 --> 00:15:57,333
just shy of his 67th birthday.
399
00:15:57,398 --> 00:15:58,900
He was a senior citizen?
400
00:15:58,968 --> 00:16:01,234
He had many occupations
throughout his life:
401
00:16:01,259 --> 00:16:03,394
soldier, small-business owner,
402
00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:06,343
and collector of
antique lighting fixtures.
403
00:16:06,943 --> 00:16:10,646
But his favorite job
was that of a husband
404
00:16:10,713 --> 00:16:12,015
and a father.
405
00:16:13,337 --> 00:16:17,174
He is survived by his wife of 43 years,
406
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,953
Barbara Ravioli,
407
00:16:18,985 --> 00:16:20,587
and his three children,
408
00:16:20,778 --> 00:16:22,179
Alfredo...
409
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,507
[IN ITALIAN ACCENT] Bolognese...
410
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,546
and Clam Sauce Ravioli...
411
00:16:29,845 --> 00:16:31,140
and his dog...
412
00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,201
Three-Cheese.
413
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:35,046
I've affected so many lives.
414
00:16:35,671 --> 00:16:36,867
? ?
415
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:41,898
[MICROWAVE BEEPS]
416
00:16:47,014 --> 00:16:50,118
No period pizza party
is complete without...
417
00:16:50,185 --> 00:16:51,492
the pizza.
418
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:52,937
Thanks, Mrs. Adler.
419
00:16:52,962 --> 00:16:55,063
I had no idea you were so cool.
420
00:16:55,088 --> 00:16:56,758
Hmm, all it took was pizza, huh?
421
00:16:56,957 --> 00:16:58,960
No, it's not that.
422
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,970
I was really freaked out,
423
00:17:00,995 --> 00:17:02,609
and you made me feel a lot better.
424
00:17:02,634 --> 00:17:04,237
Aw. Well, Nancy,
425
00:17:04,262 --> 00:17:05,663
I think you're cool too.
426
00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:07,702
And I actually like your frilly socks,
427
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,281
which is something new for me.
428
00:17:09,306 --> 00:17:11,210
Do we have to get back to the bus?
429
00:17:11,235 --> 00:17:13,003
Mm... they can wait.
430
00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:17,117
Let's play one more game of
Pin the Pad on the Uterus.
431
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,484
- Yeah?
- [GIGGLES]
432
00:17:18,922 --> 00:17:20,414
[STIRRING STRING MUSIC]
433
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,296
? ?
434
00:17:23,351 --> 00:17:25,486
Okay...
435
00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:27,671
- [GIGGLES]
- There you go.
436
00:17:28,189 --> 00:17:29,648
? ?
437
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,262
[STAMMERS]
438
00:17:33,329 --> 00:17:35,129
[CHEERS] Oh!
439
00:17:35,196 --> 00:17:36,507
? ?
440
00:17:40,697 --> 00:17:42,250
BOTH: Karen!
441
00:17:44,673 --> 00:17:46,275
Thank God!
442
00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:47,867
[OVERJOYED MURMURING]
443
00:17:51,681 --> 00:17:54,016
Uh, yeah, sorry,
the app's a little buggy today.
444
00:17:54,082 --> 00:17:56,017
- Oh, we were worried sick.
- Are you okay?
445
00:17:56,312 --> 00:17:58,987
- Did anyone hurt you?
- No.
446
00:17:59,053 --> 00:18:02,291
Don't you ever scare us like that again,
447
00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:03,451
do you hear me?
448
00:18:03,476 --> 00:18:04,703
Now you go back to Meal Chauffeur
449
00:18:04,728 --> 00:18:06,203
and think about
what you've done, young lady.
450
00:18:06,228 --> 00:18:08,046
And we'll figure out
how we're gonna handle this.
451
00:18:08,117 --> 00:18:09,697
Okay. Again, I... I'm sorry.
452
00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:11,242
Just please don't Yelp about this.
453
00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:13,242
Hmm. We'll see.
454
00:18:15,771 --> 00:18:17,039
- Utensils?
- Yeah.
455
00:18:17,105 --> 00:18:18,718
- Okay, good. Thanks.
- Okay.
456
00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:23,453
Hey...
457
00:18:24,288 --> 00:18:25,601
I'm sorry I was such a dick.
458
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:28,203
And I'm sorry I said your daughter
would need a lot of therapy.
459
00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:29,812
I think you'll be a great mom.
460
00:18:29,837 --> 00:18:31,172
I think so too.
461
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,821
And I'm actually really excited
about having a girl.
462
00:18:33,888 --> 00:18:35,375
What took you so long?
463
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,320
There's been two hit-and-runs,
a death, and a funeral.
464
00:18:38,345 --> 00:18:40,500
Don't worry, everyone. We found her.
465
00:18:40,525 --> 00:18:42,094
- No, you didn't.
- Oh, really?
466
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,007
Then how did we get these, fool?
467
00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:46,002
What are you talking about?
468
00:18:46,234 --> 00:18:48,468
- What are you talking about?
- Nancy.
469
00:18:49,122 --> 00:18:50,406
Right...
470
00:18:50,474 --> 00:18:53,310
Nancy, where were you?
We looked everywhere.
471
00:18:53,335 --> 00:18:54,775
But we talked in the hall.
472
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,868
Bus driver!
473
00:18:55,893 --> 00:18:57,382
We're all here. Let's go.
474
00:18:59,247 --> 00:19:00,562
[ALL CHEER]
475
00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:04,052
Oh, my God! You're gonna hit Johnny!
476
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,120
[TIRES SCREECH, ALL SCREAM]
477
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,367
[GRUNTING]
478
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,039
[GROANS]
479
00:19:12,414 --> 00:19:14,061
[GROANING] Daniel...
480
00:19:14,128 --> 00:19:16,961
Johnny Ravioli's dead, remember?
481
00:19:17,093 --> 00:19:18,427
I know.
482
00:19:18,729 --> 00:19:20,195
It was his ghost.
483
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,773
Now he's immortal.
484
00:19:23,304 --> 00:19:24,758
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
485
00:19:26,308 --> 00:19:28,077
? ?
486
00:19:29,203 --> 00:19:31,392
Very well behaved at
the planetarium, everyone.
487
00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:33,375
Guys, I don't wanna do... [GROANS]
488
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,202
- Mrs. Adler?
- Yeah?
489
00:19:35,227 --> 00:19:37,265
I've been elected to talk to you
490
00:19:37,290 --> 00:19:40,219
on behalf of the boys
of Fillmore Elementary.
491
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:43,696
- Okay.
- We've been made aware
492
00:19:43,763 --> 00:19:46,617
that you throw girls parties
when they get their periods.
493
00:19:46,841 --> 00:19:49,515
Boys don't have periods,
so what do we get?
494
00:19:50,362 --> 00:19:51,711
Entitlement.
495
00:19:52,513 --> 00:19:54,390
Did I stutter? Good-bye.
496
00:19:55,264 --> 00:19:56,664
[ROCK MUSIC]
497
00:19:58,787 --> 00:20:00,242
Great sweater.
498
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:06,297
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
499
00:20:06,347 --> 00:20:10,897
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