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[MELLOW RHYTHM & BLUES]
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[SOFT MOANING]
3
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? Don't stop,
girl I want your body, babe ?
4
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[LOUDER MOANING]
5
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Ah... ohh!
6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:20,451
Wow!
7
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Okay.
8
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I think that's enough for now.
9
00:00:24,237 --> 00:00:27,605
- Are you okay?
- I'm better than okay.
10
00:00:27,674 --> 00:00:29,874
I'm A-okay. Okay.
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00:00:29,943 --> 00:00:32,468
Thank you for your time and...
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your leg.
13
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Are y... are you bleeding?
14
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What?
15
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Oh, this? Ha!
16
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,312
Look at that. [LONG INHALE]
17
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Later, crocodile.
After a while, alligator.
18
00:00:48,428 --> 00:00:50,359
Neither of those are right. Okay, bye!
19
00:00:50,421 --> 00:00:52,763
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
20
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? Teachers ?
21
00:00:55,809 --> 00:00:57,108
Okay, party people,
22
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:59,859
let's get krunk on U.S. Geography!
23
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Who can name the capital
of our great nation?
24
00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:04,397
Sorry I'm late.
25
00:01:04,466 --> 00:01:06,433
I had to go to the doctor.
26
00:01:07,179 --> 00:01:08,545
For your...
27
00:01:08,570 --> 00:01:09,992
- Eye.
- Right.
28
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Take a seat.
29
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Okay, where were we?
30
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Capital of the United States.
31
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- Marcus.
- Texas?
32
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No. But they like to think so.
33
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Anyone else?
34
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Ugh. I know, Henry.
35
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It's a real head-scratcher, huh?
36
00:01:23,422 --> 00:01:25,055
They won't stop itching.
37
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Who won't stop itching?
38
00:01:26,826 --> 00:01:28,993
The little white friends
who live in my hair.
39
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[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
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? ?
41
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Those aren't your friends, Henry.
42
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Those are lice!
43
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He brought lice into my classroom!
44
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If anyone asks, we've never associated.
45
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You stay the hell away from me.
46
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The only logical solution
47
00:01:47,718 --> 00:01:49,151
is to burn your room to the ground.
48
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Ms. Snap, I sent Henry
back to your classroom.
49
00:01:51,704 --> 00:01:52,921
What? Why?
50
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,328
Mavis, tell her about the thing.
51
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The district has adopted a new policy:
52
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"Live and Let Lice"
53
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which states that children
54
00:02:00,242 --> 00:02:03,131
can no longer be sent
home for having lice.
55
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,933
They say it punishes the dirt bags.
56
00:02:05,002 --> 00:02:06,632
Sorry... Lower income families.
57
00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:08,537
- You can't do this!
- As long as Henry
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00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:09,972
stays away from the other kids,
59
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,540
the lice are like
my high school girlfriend:
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00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,054
they won't spread.
61
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,711
You just had your sexual
harassment training
62
00:02:15,779 --> 00:02:17,980
- this morning.
- Yeah. I felt attacked.
63
00:02:18,048 --> 00:02:20,182
Oh, Brent. Did you get my proposal
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00:02:20,251 --> 00:02:21,517
for an after-school yoga club?
65
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And That is my cue to leave.
66
00:02:23,721 --> 00:02:25,085
Nice talking to you ladies.
67
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:27,023
Oh! Paw! [BRENT LAUGHS]
68
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When did you first notice the lice?
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00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:30,977
About 30 minutes ago.
70
00:02:31,022 --> 00:02:33,489
- What's that?
- My lice preparedness kit.
71
00:02:33,558 --> 00:02:35,148
I'm already pregnant.
The last thing I need
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00:02:35,173 --> 00:02:36,840
is another parasite.
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[WHIMPERING]
74
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:43,570
[EXHALES]
75
00:02:44,168 --> 00:02:45,750
What are you doing, Mary Louise?
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I'm so horny!
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[GASPS]
78
00:02:49,507 --> 00:02:50,664
That's my girl!
79
00:02:50,695 --> 00:02:53,022
I have been waiting for this moment.
80
00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,613
I knew there was a fire burning
81
00:02:54,682 --> 00:02:55,835
in those loins of yours.
82
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,749
It makes it sound like
she has gonorrhea.
83
00:02:57,826 --> 00:02:59,867
I'm still not having sex until marriage.
84
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I'm just horny.
85
00:03:01,329 --> 00:03:04,323
Mary Louise, there is
not just sex or no sex.
86
00:03:04,391 --> 00:03:05,796
That is black and white thinking.
87
00:03:05,821 --> 00:03:07,754
You need to be exploring the grey.
88
00:03:08,429 --> 00:03:10,662
All fifty shades of it. Mmm!
89
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[PAPER RUSTLES]
90
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,000
I made this for you in anticipation
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00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,882
of this momentous occasion.
92
00:03:19,306 --> 00:03:21,840
This tiny rectangle contains
a wealth of sexual knowledge
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accumulated over a lifetime.
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Bon appetite.
95
00:03:28,716 --> 00:03:30,549
She's made us all watch it.
96
00:03:30,574 --> 00:03:32,093
I would avoid the anal section.
97
00:03:32,118 --> 00:03:33,976
My no-no rose is off-limits,
98
00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:35,567
but... that's just me.
99
00:03:42,897 --> 00:03:44,696
MS. SNAP: Congratulations, Mary Louise.
100
00:03:44,765 --> 00:03:46,265
If you're watching this,
it means you have
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finally opened your mind
to the wonderful world
102
00:03:48,335 --> 00:03:49,668
of sexual exploration!
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Let's start with the basics.
104
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:54,781
Kissing, titty clamps,
and double-penetration.
105
00:03:55,663 --> 00:03:57,250
I gotta go see Pastor Ted.
106
00:03:57,465 --> 00:03:58,968
[ROCK MUSIC]
107
00:04:00,214 --> 00:04:02,951
Hey. I need to drop off
some pipe cleaners
108
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,445
for my lesson later today.
109
00:04:04,531 --> 00:04:05,930
Okay.
110
00:04:15,462 --> 00:04:16,695
Can I ask you something?
111
00:04:16,764 --> 00:04:19,298
- Sure.
- How is driving?
112
00:04:19,366 --> 00:04:21,099
- What?
- Driving.
113
00:04:21,168 --> 00:04:22,935
How hard for you would you say it is?
114
00:04:23,003 --> 00:04:25,237
Cecelia, did you just learn English?
115
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,738
Here's the thing.
116
00:04:26,807 --> 00:04:28,574
I got myself in a bit of a pickle.
117
00:04:28,642 --> 00:04:30,242
Deb made me her second-in-command
118
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:32,477
to take her to the hospital
in case she goes into labor
119
00:04:32,546 --> 00:04:34,446
while Damien has rehearsal or a gig
120
00:04:34,515 --> 00:04:35,881
or is watching "Ghost Hunters."
121
00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:37,049
But there's one little problem.
122
00:04:37,117 --> 00:04:39,184
- What's that?
- I can't drive.
123
00:04:39,253 --> 00:04:42,754
Oh... that explains
the ice storm biking.
124
00:04:42,823 --> 00:04:44,389
I was hoping you could teach me?
125
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,158
I'd be happy to. I love helping people
126
00:04:46,226 --> 00:04:48,293
learn to adhere to rules.
I can do it on my free period.
127
00:04:48,362 --> 00:04:51,763
Oh, that'd be wonderful.
Good karma's coming your way.
128
00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:53,899
Ugh. I totally believe that.
129
00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:56,068
One time, I donated
a monogrammed charm bracelet
130
00:04:56,136 --> 00:04:58,170
to the Salvation Army,
and my ex-boyfriend
131
00:04:58,238 --> 00:05:00,205
ended up buying it and giving
it to me for my birthday.
132
00:05:00,274 --> 00:05:02,507
- Aw, that is karma.
- I wasn't finished.
133
00:05:02,576 --> 00:05:04,509
I broke up with him for shopping for me
134
00:05:04,578 --> 00:05:05,828
at the Salvation Army.
135
00:05:05,903 --> 00:05:07,554
Now, that's karma.
136
00:05:09,416 --> 00:05:10,726
[EERIE MUSIC]
137
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,820
This looks like a Dexter kill room.
138
00:05:14,888 --> 00:05:18,690
Diego, you are way
too young for "Dexter."
139
00:05:18,759 --> 00:05:21,554
Plus, that finale was abysmal.
Try "The Wire."
140
00:05:21,962 --> 00:05:24,896
Guys, everything is going to be okay
141
00:05:24,965 --> 00:05:27,773
as long as we protect
ourselves from these bugs.
142
00:05:27,798 --> 00:05:29,801
But aren't bugs
good for the environment?
143
00:05:30,195 --> 00:05:32,137
[SCOFFS] These are not
144
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,605
the good kind.
145
00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:36,643
These are the kind
that gnaw on your scalp
146
00:05:36,668 --> 00:05:39,602
like it's a turkey leg at a Ren Faire.
147
00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:42,281
Now, put on your ponchos.
148
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,906
A storm's a-comin'.
149
00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:48,920
Okay, now that we've
wet wiped the console,
150
00:05:48,989 --> 00:05:50,756
we can put on our driving slippers.
151
00:05:50,824 --> 00:05:52,791
- Oh, I don't have those.
- Not to worry.
152
00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:55,627
I have a spare pair for you right here.
153
00:05:55,696 --> 00:05:58,797
Please place your... Birkenstocks
154
00:05:58,866 --> 00:06:00,500
in this bag...
155
00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,914
I'll give them back to you
at the end of the lesson.
156
00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:06,004
Or, if you suddenly decide
157
00:06:06,073 --> 00:06:07,739
that they're unprofessional
for teaching,
158
00:06:07,808 --> 00:06:10,108
I can always dispose of them for you.
159
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,511
- Is this a new car?
- Thank you for asking.
160
00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:14,312
It's a Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid.
161
00:06:15,296 --> 00:06:16,815
It's the last big purchase I made
162
00:06:16,884 --> 00:06:19,281
before I became destitute two weeks ago.
163
00:06:22,156 --> 00:06:24,523
Let's start with an easy maneuver.
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00:06:24,591 --> 00:06:26,191
Just put the car in drive,
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00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,703
coast forward, and stop
at the end of the lot.
166
00:06:36,327 --> 00:06:37,522
Ha.
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00:06:37,638 --> 00:06:38,858
[BRAKES SCREECH]
168
00:06:40,107 --> 00:06:42,225
Okay. You can take it
easy with the braking.
169
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:45,217
You don't need to brake until
we get to the end of the lot.
170
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:49,681
Cecilia! Stop braking!
You're gonna make me sick!
171
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,383
Should I switch gears?
172
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:52,584
- Watch out!
- Oh!
173
00:06:52,653 --> 00:06:53,719
Doops!
174
00:06:53,787 --> 00:06:55,225
Peas and rice!
175
00:06:57,091 --> 00:06:58,857
- You almost hit me!
- Sorry!
176
00:06:58,926 --> 00:07:01,226
Caroline's teaching me how to drive.
177
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,895
This is retribution
for calling Martha Stewart
178
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:06,405
- a criminal, isn't it?
- What? No!
179
00:07:06,430 --> 00:07:07,999
I wasn't even driving.
180
00:07:08,122 --> 00:07:09,855
And she did her time.
181
00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:12,738
Thanks for seeing me, Pastor Ted.
182
00:07:12,806 --> 00:07:14,406
What's nippin' at ya, Mary Louise?
183
00:07:14,431 --> 00:07:15,585
You seem burdened.
184
00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:18,632
Well, I'm in a relationship now,
185
00:07:18,663 --> 00:07:21,580
and I'm waiting until marriage
186
00:07:21,648 --> 00:07:23,718
to... you know.
187
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,105
Do the sex.
188
00:07:25,135 --> 00:07:26,334
Yes.
189
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,420
But there's other things I wanna do
190
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:31,772
with my man friend, and I
feel like I'm not allowed.
191
00:07:31,797 --> 00:07:33,191
You're not.
192
00:07:33,260 --> 00:07:34,793
Okay.
193
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,129
And I don't want to challenge tradition.
194
00:07:37,197 --> 00:07:38,697
It's just...
195
00:07:38,766 --> 00:07:40,298
I see a future with him,
196
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:43,624
and my feelings are... really strong.
197
00:07:44,569 --> 00:07:47,439
Really... really strong.
198
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,661
Like I'm gonna explode.
199
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:52,344
Like literally,
my blood and guts... puu!
200
00:07:52,412 --> 00:07:53,879
I'm dying here.
201
00:07:53,947 --> 00:07:55,847
Yeah, I'm picking up everything
202
00:07:55,916 --> 00:07:57,482
you're puttin' down, champ,
203
00:07:57,551 --> 00:07:58,884
but rules is rules.
204
00:07:58,952 --> 00:08:01,194
[LAUGHS] No sex before marriage
205
00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:04,489
includes everything...
hand jobs, foot jobs,
206
00:08:04,558 --> 00:08:06,324
rim jobs, no jobs.
207
00:08:06,393 --> 00:08:08,660
You gotta consider yourself
unemployed sexually.
208
00:08:08,729 --> 00:08:09,995
That's the way it is.
209
00:08:10,063 --> 00:08:11,389
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
210
00:08:11,414 --> 00:08:13,799
And some'll tell ya
the butt is a loophole,
211
00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:15,280
but unfortunately...
212
00:08:15,836 --> 00:08:17,302
it's just a hole.
213
00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:19,271
Uh-huh...
214
00:08:19,339 --> 00:08:23,804
You see, God put all of
this sexual energy
215
00:08:24,098 --> 00:08:25,444
in your body,
216
00:08:25,979 --> 00:08:27,779
but he doesn't want you to act on it.
217
00:08:27,848 --> 00:08:30,248
I suppose it's just another one of his
218
00:08:30,317 --> 00:08:31,917
great mysteries.
219
00:08:31,985 --> 00:08:33,318
So what do I do?
220
00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:37,694
I think you have to find
a non-sexual way to
221
00:08:37,719 --> 00:08:39,561
burn off that energy.
222
00:08:40,594 --> 00:08:41,764
[EXHALES]
223
00:08:42,882 --> 00:08:44,262
Just out of curiosity,
224
00:08:44,331 --> 00:08:47,199
do you have a photo of this guy?
225
00:08:47,267 --> 00:08:49,921
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? Oh, great.
226
00:08:52,312 --> 00:08:54,530
Oh, yeah. Wow.
227
00:08:55,815 --> 00:08:56,943
He, uh...
228
00:08:56,968 --> 00:08:58,777
Could you email this photo?
229
00:08:59,335 --> 00:09:01,139
So I can pray for him.
230
00:09:01,448 --> 00:09:02,679
Oh.
231
00:09:02,811 --> 00:09:04,139
[ROCK MUSIC]
232
00:09:05,519 --> 00:09:07,786
Okay. That took way too long, Carl.
233
00:09:07,855 --> 00:09:10,055
You're what we call a calculator person.
234
00:09:10,123 --> 00:09:11,523
Just use one from now on.
235
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,859
Why does Henry have to live in a cage?
236
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,628
It's not a cage. It's a private lounge.
237
00:09:16,697 --> 00:09:20,432
Henry has tiny, nasty little
vermin Airbnb-ing his scalp.
238
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,600
He needs to stay away from us
so we don't get what he's got.
239
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:23,724
Comprende?
240
00:09:24,429 --> 00:09:26,522
- Gimme!
- Marcus.
241
00:09:26,671 --> 00:09:29,404
- Stop taunting Henry!
- I want that candy bar!
242
00:09:29,429 --> 00:09:30,740
Ah-ah...
243
00:09:30,808 --> 00:09:32,274
No!
244
00:09:33,397 --> 00:09:35,281
- [KIDS SCREAMING]
- You're all gonna get it!
245
00:09:35,991 --> 00:09:38,639
Stay back, Carl. I'll protect you.
246
00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:40,100
??
247
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,740
I couldn't stop scratching all night.
248
00:09:43,809 --> 00:09:45,960
Me either. I'm exhausted!
249
00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:47,977
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
250
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,546
They're like zombies. [GASPS]
251
00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:51,593
Scratchers.
252
00:09:53,485 --> 00:09:55,185
Listen, Mavis. I know you hate me
253
00:09:55,253 --> 00:09:56,952
for not acknowledging
your existence, etcetera,
254
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,460
but we need to send
these infected kids home now.
255
00:09:59,529 --> 00:10:00,928
We've got scratchers everywhere!
256
00:10:00,997 --> 00:10:02,830
I already explained
the new policy to you.
257
00:10:02,899 --> 00:10:04,532
Okay, you're not hearing me,
258
00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:06,067
so once again, I'm going to ignore you.
259
00:10:06,136 --> 00:10:08,403
Where's Brent? I can't live like this.
260
00:10:08,471 --> 00:10:11,005
You'll survive just like you did in 2012
261
00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:12,407
when you had crabs.
262
00:10:12,475 --> 00:10:13,908
[GASPS] HIPAA, Mavis!
263
00:10:14,062 --> 00:10:15,428
And there was an upside to that.
264
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,248
It drove me to get my first Brazilian.
265
00:10:17,468 --> 00:10:19,313
Now, tell Brent I wanna talk to him.
266
00:10:19,382 --> 00:10:20,515
He's busy.
267
00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:21,788
[BRENT GRUNTS]
268
00:10:22,719 --> 00:10:24,719
Ooh... ah...
269
00:10:25,968 --> 00:10:27,922
He's doing Capoeria in his office.
270
00:10:27,991 --> 00:10:29,323
He doesn't have time for you,
271
00:10:29,392 --> 00:10:30,921
you Dollar Store Lara Flynn Boyle!
272
00:10:30,946 --> 00:10:32,194
[GASPS]
273
00:10:33,242 --> 00:10:34,679
[PANTING]
274
00:10:35,865 --> 00:10:37,757
[PANTING, GRUNTING INCREASES]
275
00:10:39,443 --> 00:10:41,943
Oh, oh, must keep climbing!
276
00:10:41,968 --> 00:10:45,473
Must bike fasterrrrr!
277
00:10:45,542 --> 00:10:47,375
Aaaaaaahhhh!
278
00:10:47,444 --> 00:10:49,944
Okay, this time we'll work on parking.
279
00:10:50,013 --> 00:10:52,381
Easy peasy, since my
award-winning Pacifica
280
00:10:52,406 --> 00:10:54,873
has park assist. Just put it in reverse,
281
00:10:54,942 --> 00:10:57,409
and the front and rear
sensors will help guide you.
282
00:10:57,478 --> 00:10:58,694
[SOFT CHIME]
283
00:10:58,764 --> 00:10:59,843
Like this?
284
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,304
Excellent work. In no time,
285
00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:02,962
you'll be like a normal person.
286
00:11:03,066 --> 00:11:05,546
Now, step on the brakes. Stop.
287
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,007
Put it in drive, and it'll back in.
288
00:11:08,354 --> 00:11:09,655
- Ohhhh!
- [CAR BEEPING]
289
00:11:10,292 --> 00:11:11,658
[BRAKES SCREECH]
290
00:11:11,683 --> 00:11:13,210
Is this because I deleted
291
00:11:13,235 --> 00:11:15,124
"The Property Brothers" from your DVR?
292
00:11:15,149 --> 00:11:17,302
No, I... You did what?
293
00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:19,704
I don't like how you watch that
show with your mouth open!
294
00:11:19,772 --> 00:11:21,739
It's not my fault two brothers together
295
00:11:21,808 --> 00:11:23,007
form the perfect man.
296
00:11:23,076 --> 00:11:24,342
That's it, Care Bear.
297
00:11:24,410 --> 00:11:26,344
I'm teaching Cecelia how to drive.
298
00:11:26,513 --> 00:11:28,827
Consider yourself
relieved from your duties.
299
00:11:28,866 --> 00:11:31,415
Fine. But if anything
happens to the Pacif...
300
00:11:31,484 --> 00:11:33,317
I'm not gonna use the Pacifica.
301
00:11:33,386 --> 00:11:34,952
I know how you feel about this.
302
00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:37,038
You called out its name
while making love.
303
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,530
I'll use my car.
304
00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:46,063
For the record, in my head,
305
00:11:46,232 --> 00:11:49,100
I was being taken in the Pacifica,
306
00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:51,163
not by the Pacifica.
307
00:11:52,874 --> 00:11:54,429
[ENERGETIC MUSIC]
308
00:12:00,113 --> 00:12:02,580
We finished our subtraction
problem, Ms. Bennigan.
309
00:12:02,649 --> 00:12:03,981
Just a couple more minutes.
310
00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:06,317
I gotta get the demons outta me.
311
00:12:06,386 --> 00:12:07,451
Aah!
312
00:12:08,655 --> 00:12:09,854
Aaah!
313
00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:12,186
Uhhh!
314
00:12:14,093 --> 00:12:16,827
Okay, guys, once you finish your math,
315
00:12:16,896 --> 00:12:18,968
move on to social studies.
316
00:12:19,014 --> 00:12:21,522
After social studies, it's free reading.
317
00:12:21,725 --> 00:12:24,772
After that, just... be creative.
318
00:12:25,342 --> 00:12:27,420
You're not coming back, are you?
319
00:12:28,616 --> 00:12:29,674
Of course I am.
320
00:12:29,699 --> 00:12:30,798
[ZIP]
321
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:32,877
I'm just going on a supply run.
322
00:12:32,946 --> 00:12:34,280
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
323
00:12:35,915 --> 00:12:37,288
[GROANING]
324
00:12:39,886 --> 00:12:43,387
[SCREAMING] I'm still... horny!
325
00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:52,527
[GASPS]
326
00:12:53,069 --> 00:12:55,349
- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
327
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,168
You're acting shifty.
328
00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:59,103
- Have you been infected?
- No.
329
00:13:00,139 --> 00:13:01,639
- Have you?
- No.
330
00:13:01,708 --> 00:13:03,307
How do I know you're telling the truth?
331
00:13:03,648 --> 00:13:05,100
How many people have you slept with?
332
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:06,716
What does that have to do with anything?
333
00:13:06,784 --> 00:13:07,999
I don't know. I was just curious.
334
00:13:08,024 --> 00:13:09,788
Whatever. I'm trying
to get lice shampoo.
335
00:13:09,813 --> 00:13:11,733
These scratchers are not
gonna take me down.
336
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,157
I'm here for the same thing.
337
00:13:13,182 --> 00:13:15,048
Maybe we should join forces.
338
00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:18,189
Fine. But if we get
recognized as heroes,
339
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,757
I'm doing the interviews.
340
00:13:23,301 --> 00:13:24,725
Look what I got.
341
00:13:25,436 --> 00:13:26,969
It's from the lost and found!
342
00:13:27,038 --> 00:13:29,238
Carl, why are you wearing
someone else's hat
343
00:13:29,307 --> 00:13:30,796
when there's a lice outbreak?
344
00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,093
- [THUDDING]
- [GASPS]
345
00:13:32,723 --> 00:13:33,874
[THUMPING]
346
00:13:35,346 --> 00:13:36,757
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
347
00:13:42,069 --> 00:13:43,986
It's so itchy!
348
00:13:44,055 --> 00:13:45,358
Aaaah!
349
00:13:47,085 --> 00:13:50,139
Carl, find an empty classroom
and lock yourself in it.
350
00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:51,928
Do not come out until
the final bell rings.
351
00:13:51,996 --> 00:13:53,866
I can handle it. I'm not a little kid.
352
00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:56,391
Yes, you are! Now, go!
353
00:13:57,835 --> 00:13:59,889
They're everywhere. Here...
354
00:14:00,371 --> 00:14:01,897
- Put this on.
- [WHIMPERS]
355
00:14:01,922 --> 00:14:04,452
We've got to find a place to
ride out the rest of the day.
356
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,147
[SOFT SOBS]
357
00:14:07,812 --> 00:14:08,929
[PANTING]
358
00:14:10,061 --> 00:14:12,343
I know it's wrong to act
on your sexual impulses but...
359
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:14,482
- Aaah!
- Mary Louise! Uh...
360
00:14:14,507 --> 00:14:16,285
Mary Louise, what are you doing here?
361
00:14:16,354 --> 00:14:17,749
No! I'll come back later!
362
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,106
It's not what you think.
363
00:14:19,244 --> 00:14:21,343
I'll see you at the pancake breakfast!
364
00:14:27,976 --> 00:14:29,616
This poncho is so unflattering.
365
00:14:29,884 --> 00:14:32,686
Try being front-loaded
with a tiny human.
366
00:14:33,378 --> 00:14:34,644
- Shh!
- [GASPS]
367
00:14:34,893 --> 00:14:37,405
Did you hear that? If you listen,
368
00:14:37,781 --> 00:14:39,530
- you can hear them scratching.
- [SCRATCHING SOUNDS]
369
00:14:39,616 --> 00:14:41,007
- Hey, guys.
- BOTH: Aah!
370
00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:43,265
Still lice-free.
371
00:14:43,290 --> 00:14:46,725
Carl! I just told you
to find an empty room!
372
00:14:48,022 --> 00:14:49,593
[SIGHS] I can't with this kid.
373
00:14:49,914 --> 00:14:51,046
[DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING]
374
00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:52,764
- Get out!
- Brent!
375
00:14:52,913 --> 00:14:54,124
They got me!
376
00:14:54,257 --> 00:14:56,499
My Propecia treatments...
377
00:14:56,805 --> 00:14:59,272
Brent's infected. We need to help him!
378
00:14:59,341 --> 00:15:00,741
No, Chelsea!
379
00:15:01,343 --> 00:15:02,976
The Brent you knew is gone.
380
00:15:03,045 --> 00:15:05,671
- No...
- We have to save ourselves.
381
00:15:06,581 --> 00:15:07,764
[DARK MUSIC]
382
00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:11,399
If Brent goes bald,
383
00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:13,527
no one is gonna want to bang him.
384
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:16,700
He can't rely on his personality.
385
00:15:16,725 --> 00:15:18,889
- He's a total dick.
- I know.
386
00:15:19,577 --> 00:15:20,624
I know.
387
00:15:20,649 --> 00:15:22,975
And what do we do
when we see the red light?
388
00:15:23,054 --> 00:15:25,264
- We stop.
- And the yellow light?
389
00:15:25,289 --> 00:15:27,121
We slow down. We've been covering
390
00:15:27,146 --> 00:15:28,779
traffic lights for 20 minutes.
391
00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:30,070
I think I'm ready to drive.
392
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,305
You're not. You almost
ran me over twice,
393
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:33,530
for Peter's sake.
394
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:35,491
It's good for you to just get used to
395
00:15:35,516 --> 00:15:37,304
being in a car,
396
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:39,827
feeling the interior on your back,
397
00:15:39,993 --> 00:15:42,147
the floor beneath your feet.
398
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,928
Just taking in your surroundings.
399
00:15:44,953 --> 00:15:46,653
It's kinda like meditating.
400
00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:48,688
We're encouraged
to take in the space around us
401
00:15:48,757 --> 00:15:50,054
before we close our eyes.
402
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:53,764
Okay. Except we can't
close our eyes while driving.
403
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,796
This is the safest I've felt all day.
404
00:15:59,821 --> 00:16:02,225
I finally feel like I can breathe again.
405
00:16:02,523 --> 00:16:03,688
Hi, Miss Snap.
406
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,146
Carl, shut the door!
407
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,815
You always do the dumbest
[BLEEP] things!
408
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,383
- Miss Snap?
- Miss Snap?
409
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:11,919
Ruuuuun!
410
00:16:11,988 --> 00:16:13,327
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
411
00:16:15,492 --> 00:16:16,804
? ?
412
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,789
Leave it! We have to get to
the front office!
413
00:16:53,814 --> 00:16:56,381
That's the only place
we'll find sanctuary!
414
00:16:57,106 --> 00:16:58,532
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
415
00:17:01,043 --> 00:17:02,383
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
416
00:17:02,776 --> 00:17:04,943
Let us in! They're coming for us!
417
00:17:04,997 --> 00:17:06,229
Please, Mavis!
418
00:17:06,254 --> 00:17:08,154
The office is our only hope!
419
00:17:08,212 --> 00:17:09,453
[BOTH CRYING]
420
00:17:13,774 --> 00:17:15,240
Aah!
421
00:17:15,309 --> 00:17:17,209
Not gonna happen, you human ostrich.
422
00:17:17,278 --> 00:17:18,544
Aah! No!
423
00:17:18,612 --> 00:17:20,813
No, no, no, no, Mavis. Mavis!
424
00:17:20,889 --> 00:17:22,389
No... aahhhh!
425
00:17:22,449 --> 00:17:24,055
Oh...[CRYING]
426
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:27,047
Hello, Green Apple!
427
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,953
[MS. SNAP CONTINUES SCREAMING]
428
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,836
All right, I think we're ready.
429
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,766
Let's put the car in drive.
430
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,388
Will do.
431
00:17:39,903 --> 00:17:42,821
- Aah! They're coming!
- No, no, no, no!
432
00:17:46,074 --> 00:17:47,273
- Aah!
- Aah!
433
00:17:47,474 --> 00:17:50,242
- Care Bear!
- Oh! Oh, my Gaia!
434
00:17:50,311 --> 00:17:51,977
I am so sorry!
435
00:17:52,046 --> 00:17:53,438
Binky boo!
436
00:17:55,336 --> 00:17:57,149
Is this because I called LeAnn Rimes
437
00:17:57,218 --> 00:17:58,899
a reality star?
438
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:01,375
She was a singer first.
439
00:18:01,644 --> 00:18:03,732
Caroline, are you okay?
440
00:18:03,757 --> 00:18:05,172
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
441
00:18:07,027 --> 00:18:08,383
Lice!
442
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:10,243
- Aah!
- Aah!
443
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,188
? ?
444
00:18:14,977 --> 00:18:16,554
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]
445
00:18:17,738 --> 00:18:18,868
? ?
446
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,363
I need to tell you something.
447
00:18:27,672 --> 00:18:29,461
[SIGHS] Is it my cologne?
448
00:18:29,486 --> 00:18:31,352
Blake said it smells
like carpet cleaner.
449
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:32,899
No, it's not that.
450
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,118
I'm ready to do...
451
00:18:40,431 --> 00:18:41,830
more...
452
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,662
with you.
453
00:18:44,782 --> 00:18:46,198
Where's this coming from?
454
00:18:46,578 --> 00:18:48,800
From the realization
that even the purest people
455
00:18:48,869 --> 00:18:50,736
can be complete animals.
456
00:18:51,493 --> 00:18:54,172
I love you. I'm ready to do
457
00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:55,586
more stuff with you.
458
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,852
I do wanna have sex one day, but...
459
00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:01,172
not until we're married.
460
00:19:03,188 --> 00:19:06,063
I mean, I'm married
to... to someone or...
461
00:19:07,163 --> 00:19:08,500
whoever.
462
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,235
- [GASPS]
- Are you sure you're okay?
463
00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,133
[DEEP VOICE] Get back down there.
464
00:19:22,551 --> 00:19:23,797
[MELLOW MUSIC]
465
00:19:29,048 --> 00:19:30,336
[ROCK MUSIC]
466
00:19:35,415 --> 00:19:38,550
? She's got the look
that you want to know ?
467
00:19:38,619 --> 00:19:41,186
? You want to know, whoa-oa-oa ?
468
00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:43,266
? She's such a lady ?
469
00:19:44,358 --> 00:19:45,924
? She's got the look ?
470
00:19:45,993 --> 00:19:48,527
? That you want to know,
you want to know ?
471
00:19:48,595 --> 00:19:51,396
? Whoa-oa-oa, she's such a sexy girl ?
472
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,867
Bitch got [BLEEP] up!
473
00:19:57,035 --> 00:20:00,477
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474
00:20:00,527 --> 00:20:05,077
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