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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:20,200 LOUIE: I waited till everybody was over at Mario's 2 00:01:20,234 --> 00:01:23,868 because I didn't want to take any more razzing over this. 3 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,767 Now, you say this poison works 4 00:01:25,801 --> 00:01:27,467 on all kinds of cockroaches 5 00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:29,567 because I got a monster in there. 6 00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:30,734 A monster. 7 00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:33,267 No insect can survive this poison. 8 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,934 Respect your foe. 9 00:01:35,968 --> 00:01:38,901 We're not talking about just any insect. 10 00:01:38,934 --> 00:01:42,567 This is the biggest cockroach in the world. 11 00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:45,100 I'm telling you, he barks at the mailman. 12 00:01:45,133 --> 00:01:48,334 Don't worry about it, Mac. 13 00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:49,501 I'll get him. 14 00:01:49,534 --> 00:01:50,701 Take no prisoners. 15 00:01:50,734 --> 00:01:52,234 Right. 16 00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:55,133 Describe to me again what this stuff does to him. 17 00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:56,567 Well, it, uh, 18 00:01:56,601 --> 00:01:59,501 paralyzes the central nervous system, 19 00:01:59,534 --> 00:02:01,801 blocking and then causing cessation 20 00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:03,868 of all the metabolic functions. 21 00:02:03,901 --> 00:02:06,167 At least, that's what the can says. 22 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,701 As long as I can see his little feelers twitching in the air, 23 00:02:11,734 --> 00:02:13,934 I don't care how you do it. 24 00:02:20,601 --> 00:02:21,734 Oh... 25 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,067 ( speaking native language ) 26 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,400 Excuse me, Latka? 27 00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:26,567 I said, oh... 28 00:02:26,601 --> 00:02:28,534 ( speaking native language ) 29 00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:30,834 Is something wrong, Latka? 30 00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:33,601 I enjoy watching her. 31 00:02:33,634 --> 00:02:36,701 ALEX: Oh, yes, she's very enjoyable. 32 00:02:36,734 --> 00:02:38,834 Yeah, she has been in here before. 33 00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:41,868 Each time she gets more beautiful than the last. 34 00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:44,167 Look at the way she sits on the stool 35 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,434 like a princess. 36 00:02:45,467 --> 00:02:46,634 ELAINE: Oh... 37 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,634 You got a little crush on her, 38 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,634 don't you, Latka? 39 00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:50,300 Why didn't you tell us, huh? 40 00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:52,801 It brings me too much pain. 41 00:02:52,834 --> 00:02:55,334 She doesn't know I'm alive. 42 00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:57,133 Can't she tell you're alive 43 00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:59,634 by the way you move around and talk and stuff? 44 00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:05,868 Huh? 45 00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:07,033 Hey, Latka, 46 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:09,234 just go over there and introduce yourself. 47 00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,901 Say hi, she may like your style. 48 00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:12,400 No, I could not do that. 49 00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:14,100 Why not, Latka? Why not? 50 00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:15,734 Well, how do I say this? 51 00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:18,434 You see, I do not have too much success 52 00:03:18,467 --> 00:03:20,100 with American women. 53 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,334 You see, the men from my country 54 00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:24,100 are not, for some reason, 55 00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,901 attractive to the women in your country. 56 00:03:26,934 --> 00:03:29,067 We do not, as a matter of fact, 57 00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:32,234 have much luck with the women in my country. 58 00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:35,167 Latka, if I were you, 59 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,467 I'd go over there and say hello. 60 00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:38,801 Bobby, if I were you, 61 00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:40,801 I would go over and say hello. 62 00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:42,534 But, unfortunately, I am me. 63 00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:45,734 Oh, what kind of attitude is that, Latka? 64 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,734 Come on, you are an attractive person 65 00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:49,234 with a lot to offer. 66 00:03:49,267 --> 00:03:50,434 Remember that. Yeah. 67 00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:53,601 ( all talking at once ) 68 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,567 By golly, I will do it. 69 00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:56,801 ALL: All right. 70 00:03:56,834 --> 00:03:58,734 Tomorrow. 71 00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:00,767 ( all groan ) 72 00:04:00,801 --> 00:04:03,100 Tomorrow, first thing, I promise. 73 00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:05,300 BOBBY: Latka, there is no time like the present. 74 00:04:05,334 --> 00:04:06,767 No, wait. Come on. 75 00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:08,534 ALEX: Wait, wait, guys, guys! 76 00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:10,100 Come on, don't force him. 77 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,934 Let him make up his own mind. 78 00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,601 Alex. What? 79 00:04:13,634 --> 00:04:14,834 Mind your own business. Mind my own business. 80 00:04:14,868 --> 00:04:16,067 Come on, guys. 81 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:17,701 Okay, now, you're going to do fine, Latka. 82 00:04:17,734 --> 00:04:18,734 Shh. 83 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,501 Hello, I am Latka Gravas. 84 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,868 You're what? 85 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:52,067 Hello, I am Latka Gravas. 86 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,701 That is my name-- 87 00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:57,100 Latka Gravas. 88 00:04:57,133 --> 00:04:59,834 I think you are very pretty American woman. 89 00:04:59,868 --> 00:05:01,334 Oh, well, thank you. 90 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:05,033 Maybe could I please have a drink with you? 91 00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:07,033 Or food? 92 00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,701 Or... or even gum? 93 00:05:08,734 --> 00:05:09,901 Bubble gum? 94 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,834 I'm really not interested. 95 00:05:12,868 --> 00:05:14,100 Thank you. 96 00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:16,901 Then I guess it will not be necessary for us 97 00:05:16,934 --> 00:05:19,334 to look for a house over the weekend. 98 00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:22,000 Yeah. 99 00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:24,067 Okay. 100 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,667 Well, bye-bye. 101 00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,434 It was nice meeting you. 102 00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:34,934 Boy, it sure is a long walk back. 103 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,400 ELAINE: Sorry, Latka. 104 00:05:38,434 --> 00:05:39,634 BOBBY: She shot you down, huh? 105 00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:41,033 Yeah, she shot me down. 106 00:05:41,067 --> 00:05:43,400 BOBBY: Ah, she didn't even give you a chance. 107 00:05:43,434 --> 00:05:44,567 That stinks. 108 00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:46,167 It's all right, I forgive her. 109 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,367 Yeah, well, I don't. 110 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,534 There's such a thing as sensitivity to other people. 111 00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:50,834 I think I'm gonna go over there 112 00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:52,067 and tell Miss High-and-Mighty 113 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,400 where to get off. 114 00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:54,567 Hey, wait a minute, Bob. 115 00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:55,734 Let it go, will you? Alex, it's okay, 116 00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:57,767 I'm not going to make a scene. 117 00:05:57,801 --> 00:06:00,434 It's just I can't let this thing rest. 118 00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,534 You know, Latka, 119 00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:03,400 I bet it has nothing to do with you. 120 00:06:03,434 --> 00:06:05,868 You know, I bet that she's committed somewhere. 121 00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:07,701 You know, she's engaged or married, 122 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,501 or, you know, living with someone. 123 00:06:10,534 --> 00:06:11,834 Okay. 124 00:06:11,868 --> 00:06:13,834 ( chuckles ) 125 00:06:13,868 --> 00:06:15,400 She needs a cab. 126 00:06:15,434 --> 00:06:17,000 Yeah, I-I'm just going to give her 127 00:06:17,033 --> 00:06:19,434 a ride home, professionally, and talk about Latka 128 00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:20,767 all the way. Hey, now... 129 00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:22,000 Alex, what can I do? 130 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,334 She needs a cab, huh? 131 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:24,968 Hey, Latka, if it bothers you, 132 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,567 listen, I'll forget about it right now. 133 00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:28,567 Oh, no, you don't worry about it, Bobby. 134 00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:31,234 You just go and have a wonderful time with the woman 135 00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:34,534 who makes every tissue in my body scream with desire. 136 00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,801 Okay, thanks a lot, Latka. 137 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:41,100 Boy, what a nice person. 138 00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:44,501 Ooh, look at this. 139 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,534 Get a load of this one. 140 00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:48,567 Ooh. 141 00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,434 Hey, Latka, what are you doing, 142 00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:52,000 reading Playboy magazine? 143 00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:53,968 Oh, yes, I am studying it, Alex. 144 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,901 I want to be up front with you. 145 00:06:55,934 --> 00:06:58,601 I want to be an American fun guy 146 00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:01,000 taking each day in high gear. 147 00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:03,300 Did I say that right? 148 00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:04,801 I hope not. 149 00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:06,767 Well, what's the point? 150 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,968 Well, the point is 151 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,033 that I am sick of you all calling me 152 00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:14,267 a cute, little foreigner. 153 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,501 We don't call you a cute little foreigner. 154 00:07:16,534 --> 00:07:18,801 Well, maybe not to my face, but behind my back. 155 00:07:18,834 --> 00:07:21,100 Uh-uh, we don't call you that behind your back. 156 00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:24,100 Well, maybe you don't say it out loud, but you think it. 157 00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,634 We don't even think it. 158 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,167 Oh, yeah? 159 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,868 Well, how about the time Tony said his uncle was broke, 160 00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:34,133 and I said, "Well, why doesn't he go to the doctor?" 161 00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:35,367 Yeah, that was kind of cute. 162 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,701 See, "cute" again. 163 00:07:36,734 --> 00:07:38,067 Everything always cute. 164 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:40,567 I am sick of being cute. When will it end? 165 00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,601 But Latka, I don't see how reading a bunch of magazines 166 00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:44,334 is going to make you more sophisticated? 167 00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:47,934 Well, Alex, I am not only going to read it, 168 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,801 I am going to take a vacation from the garage, 169 00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:54,367 I am going to lock myself in, 170 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,133 every spare minute, 171 00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:59,334 I am going to study this Playboy. 172 00:07:59,367 --> 00:08:01,167 Mm-hmm. 173 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,734 And I have a tape of an F.M. D.J. 174 00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:08,634 I am going to learn to talk like him 175 00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:12,167 so that when women hear my voice, 176 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,567 they will just relax. 177 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,167 See, I will do it 178 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:20,067 even if it takes me eight days. 179 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,701 Look, here it is. 180 00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:25,067 I have it marked. 181 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:29,400 I am going to... "alter my lifestyle 182 00:08:29,434 --> 00:08:32,400 to fit the fast lane." 183 00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:35,534 Huh? 184 00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:41,767 ( voice deepens ): "Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane." 185 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:48,767 ( voice deepens ): "Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane." 186 00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:53,400 ( voice deepens ): "Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane." 187 00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:59,601 ( accent lessens ): "Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane." 188 00:09:04,601 --> 00:09:07,801 ( without accent ): "Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast... 189 00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:09,567 ( normal voice ): ...lane." Whoop! 190 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,801 There, that ought to do it. 191 00:09:20,834 --> 00:09:22,434 Now... now, how soon is it safe 192 00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:23,868 to go back in there? 193 00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:26,133 Well, that depends on your system, you know. 194 00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:29,167 Some people, they go in there the first day, they get sick. 195 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,000 Other people might get a headache. 196 00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:33,968 Me, I like it. 197 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000 All right. 198 00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:40,467 Thanks, pal. 199 00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:45,567 Ha! 200 00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:48,067 It's great to have the cage back. 201 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,400 All right. 202 00:09:49,434 --> 00:09:52,501 It's worth every penny for the piece of mind. 203 00:09:52,534 --> 00:09:54,100 Come on in here, Jeff. 204 00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,934 I'm starving. 205 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,100 Sandwich. 206 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,234 Mustard. 207 00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:07,234 * No bugs allowed 208 00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:10,067 * No bugs allowed 209 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:13,267 * No bugs allowed. 210 00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:20,934 Jeff... 211 00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:27,434 ( talking indistinctly ) 212 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:28,601 It's Karen. 213 00:10:28,634 --> 00:10:30,334 The princess is honoring us 214 00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:31,467 with her presence. 215 00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:33,000 I bet you she's insulted 216 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,934 we're not groveling at her feet. 217 00:10:36,968 --> 00:10:38,234 Oh, you're handling rejection 218 00:10:38,267 --> 00:10:41,501 so much better than you used to, Bobby. 219 00:10:41,534 --> 00:10:42,701 TONY: Hey, guys. Hey, guys. 220 00:10:42,734 --> 00:10:44,133 Latka's back from his vacation. 221 00:10:44,167 --> 00:10:45,467 He's on his way in right now. 222 00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:46,734 I got to pick a good spot 223 00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,901 so I can see all your faces when you first see him. 224 00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:50,934 I got it. Go ahead. 225 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,167 ELAINE: Oh, my God. 226 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,067 What did I tell you? 227 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,601 ALEX: Latka? 228 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,701 ( without accent ): Hey, I love you guys, you're beautiful. 229 00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,067 ( clicks tongue ) 230 00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:23,968 Hey, Tommy, making any money? 231 00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:26,300 Latka? 232 00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:28,634 What kind of imported beer you got? 233 00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:31,501 Schlitz. 234 00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:34,267 Schlitz. 235 00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:36,300 I love you, Tommy, you're a mug. 236 00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:38,234 Give me one of those. 237 00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:43,968 Thanks. 238 00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:18,067 I can take one look at you 239 00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:21,567 and tell that you've heard every phony line in the book... 240 00:12:21,601 --> 00:12:24,501 so one more isn't going to hurt you, right? 241 00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:25,934 ( laughing ) 242 00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:29,234 ( laughing ) 243 00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:30,734 She's laughing. 244 00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:33,767 Ah... 245 00:12:33,801 --> 00:12:35,067 but seriously now. 246 00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:37,100 The first few moments of a relationship 247 00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,834 set the tone for the whole thing, 248 00:12:38,868 --> 00:12:40,167 if you know what I mean, 249 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,033 so let's be honest. 250 00:12:42,067 --> 00:12:43,534 My name is Vic. 251 00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:47,067 I'm into Italian cars, Technics stereos, 252 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,133 Australian films and beautiful ladies. 253 00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,434 If you're interested, let's talk. 254 00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:55,901 If not, it's been fun. 255 00:12:55,934 --> 00:12:57,200 Vic, huh? 256 00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:58,734 No, not "Vic, huh?"-- 257 00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:00,167 Vic Ferrari. 258 00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:06,067 Vic Ferrari? 259 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,000 That isn't your real name, is it? 260 00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:09,200 Why don't you tell me 261 00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:11,167 after you see how I perform on a tight corner. 262 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,200 ( laughing ) 263 00:13:12,234 --> 00:13:14,033 Terrible humor, Vic, 264 00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:16,434 but I love that smile. 265 00:13:16,467 --> 00:13:20,300 Come on, walk with me, talk with me. 266 00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:27,767 Are you seeing what I'm seeing? 267 00:13:27,801 --> 00:13:29,767 It's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hekyll. 268 00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:31,901 Latka. 269 00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:35,067 Excuse me, I think these people have mistaken me 270 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,234 for someone else. 271 00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:37,534 I'm a dime a dozen. 272 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:41,367 Don't you believe it. 273 00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:43,734 Be right back. 274 00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:45,467 All right, Latka, way to go. 275 00:13:45,501 --> 00:13:46,701 You got her, buddy. 276 00:13:46,734 --> 00:13:48,868 Hey, she's a woman, not a prize. 277 00:13:48,901 --> 00:13:50,200 Hey, I love you guys, 278 00:13:50,234 --> 00:13:52,968 but I don't like your "keeping score" attitude. 279 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,534 Latka, she can't hear you now. 280 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,000 You can drop the act. 281 00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:57,234 The act? 282 00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:58,734 Hey, man, you got it backwards. 283 00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:00,133 I dropped my act. 284 00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:02,667 You guys could stand to do the same thing. 285 00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:04,934 Hey, Elaine. 286 00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:08,133 You're looking dynamite tonight. 287 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,567 Corny, but sincere. 288 00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:15,234 ( laughing ) 289 00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:17,734 ( clicks tongue ) Gotcha. 290 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,701 Come on, let's go, honey. 291 00:14:21,734 --> 00:14:24,300 Poor, Latka. 292 00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:25,567 What do you mean, Jim? 293 00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:30,133 Everybody's beating time with his woman. 294 00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:32,567 First Bobby, and now that jerk. 295 00:14:48,467 --> 00:14:49,634 Latka! 296 00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:52,300 Latka! 297 00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:57,133 Latka! 298 00:14:58,734 --> 00:15:00,067 Latka! 299 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,367 ( growling ) 300 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,667 ( yells ) 301 00:15:04,701 --> 00:15:08,901 ( as Vic Ferrari ): Hey, man, what is your problem? 302 00:15:13,734 --> 00:15:16,534 I don't like people playing music in this garage. 303 00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,133 Well, I don't like this authority trip 304 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,667 that you're always laying on me, man. 305 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,934 Hey, you just wasted Elvis Costello. 306 00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:26,534 Latka, you're getting weirder every day. 307 00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:28,434 Now, I don't want to have to fire you 308 00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:30,567 for this, because... 309 00:15:30,601 --> 00:15:34,067 I don't want to have to fire you... 310 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,501 I was hoping to fire you just for no reason. 311 00:15:37,534 --> 00:15:39,200 Look, you better wise up. 312 00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:41,734 Knock it off. 313 00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:44,367 And try wearing some decent clothes to work. 314 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,300 You look like a foreign banana. 315 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,100 Well... 316 00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:56,601 time for my sparkling water break. 317 00:15:56,634 --> 00:15:57,968 Anybody want some? 318 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,868 He's not coming out of this. 319 00:16:01,901 --> 00:16:03,300 If anything, it's getting worse. 320 00:16:03,334 --> 00:16:04,834 It's been going on for a week now, 321 00:16:04,868 --> 00:16:06,167 night and day. 322 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,501 Maybe somebody should talk to him. 323 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:08,801 Hey, I tried. 324 00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:11,934 He just keeps telling me I'm one dynamite lady. 325 00:16:11,968 --> 00:16:14,801 I keep telling him that's beside the point. 326 00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:16,701 ( mumbling and phone ringing ) 327 00:16:16,734 --> 00:16:18,534 ...get an answering service. 328 00:16:18,567 --> 00:16:19,868 Hello. 329 00:16:19,901 --> 00:16:21,067 Yeah, Vic's here. 330 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:22,300 Hold on a second. 331 00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:25,067 Hey, Latka, it's Karen for you. 332 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,300 I'm not here. 333 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:30,534 Latka, it's the girl you're crazy about, remember? 334 00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:35,000 Hey, I am out man, read my lips. 335 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,367 Uh, yeah, no, he's not here. 336 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,834 Yeah, okay, sure. 337 00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:47,467 I'll tell him you called. Bye. 338 00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:52,567 Latka, what's going on? 339 00:16:52,601 --> 00:16:54,567 It's over between her and me. 340 00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:56,367 You see, Karen is the kind of chick 341 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,801 who craves rejection 342 00:16:57,834 --> 00:16:59,701 and goes around creating it for herself. 343 00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:03,033 So what's a boy to do? 344 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,701 This is too much. 345 00:17:08,734 --> 00:17:11,267 Latka, we got to talk to you. 346 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,667 Hey... 347 00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:15,167 you know I always have time to talk to you, Elaine. 348 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,734 You're one dynamite lady. 349 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,567 Latka, shut up. 350 00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:22,067 Ooh-hoo, redheads. 351 00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,133 I'm glad you feel 352 00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,267 that you can be so honest with me like that. 353 00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:28,601 Latka, come here and sit down, okay? 354 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,734 Hey, Latka, Latka, you're weird. 355 00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:39,200 Hey, we're all coming 356 00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:40,767 from a different direction, 357 00:17:40,801 --> 00:17:43,000 and sometimes it doesn't get in synch. 358 00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:45,400 Sorry about that, but you had it coming. 359 00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:51,033 Latka, can't you see what's going on? 360 00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:53,133 Can't you see what you're doing to yourself? 361 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:55,534 Yeah, I'm assimilating. 362 00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:57,934 Hey, Latka, why don't you come off it, huh? 363 00:17:57,968 --> 00:18:00,267 Hey, if I have to be a cute little guy 364 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,901 who strikes out every time 365 00:18:01,934 --> 00:18:04,467 in order to be Mr. Popularity around here, 366 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:07,400 well then you can just keep your trophy. 367 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,467 Would you just stop it? 368 00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:11,701 Well, excuse me. 369 00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:14,701 I thought that I had the right to evolve, 370 00:18:14,734 --> 00:18:17,734 but I'm sensing a lot of hostility here. 371 00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:21,567 Fortunately, I got my friend Alex. 372 00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,067 My man, Alex. 373 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,901 With a heart as big as his schnoz 374 00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,834 and a brain as sharp as his profile. 375 00:18:32,868 --> 00:18:34,334 Yeah, well, I'm very flattered. 376 00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:35,501 Very flattered. 377 00:18:35,534 --> 00:18:36,667 Hey, man, you understand 378 00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:38,033 what I'm talking about, don't ya? 379 00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:39,400 Yes, I think I do. 380 00:18:39,434 --> 00:18:40,534 Yeah. 381 00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,501 God bless the people. 382 00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:44,200 Adios, kids. 383 00:18:44,234 --> 00:18:45,367 Hey, where you going? 384 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,534 Hey, come on back. 385 00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:48,133 Hey, man, don't leave me. 386 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:49,367 Come on. I tell ya, Latka, 387 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,567 I've been going back and forth about this thing, 388 00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:53,868 because I think maybe you're justified in thinking 389 00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:56,033 that there was a patronizing element 390 00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:58,601 in the way people used to treat the old Latka. 391 00:18:58,634 --> 00:19:00,834 But the thing that keeps coming through to me is 392 00:19:00,868 --> 00:19:02,133 I like that old Latka, 393 00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:04,834 and I don't like you. 394 00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:14,400 Ooh, hard to get happy after that one. 395 00:19:22,234 --> 00:19:24,167 ( knocking on door ) 396 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,501 Hey, Alex, 397 00:19:34,534 --> 00:19:36,167 I think we've got some head-butting to do. 398 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,000 You dropped a real load of guano on me today, 399 00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,667 and I think we should get out our shovels 400 00:19:39,701 --> 00:19:41,067 and see if we can... 401 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,334 ( knocking on door ) 402 00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,234 ( knocking continues ) 403 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,834 Please, don't slam the door on me again, 404 00:19:55,868 --> 00:19:57,367 because I don't think I could take that. 405 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,834 I really want to talk to you. 406 00:19:58,868 --> 00:20:00,801 What do you have to say you haven't said already? 407 00:20:05,567 --> 00:20:07,534 I cry at night. 408 00:20:08,701 --> 00:20:10,801 Alex, please help me, you've got to help me. 409 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,000 I don't know what to do. 410 00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:13,367 I'm stuck inside of here. I don't like this guy. 411 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,534 I don't remember how I got in. No, no, no. 412 00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:15,801 I'll help you, I'll help you, I'll help you. 413 00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:17,667 Listen, just sit down. Just sit down. 414 00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:19,100 I don't like the fast lane. 415 00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:21,200 Well, I understand that. 416 00:20:21,234 --> 00:20:22,801 Well, can't you just stop it? 417 00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:24,400 I mean, be the guy you used to be. 418 00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,033 Talk like you used to talk. 419 00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:27,767 I don't remember how I used to talk. 420 00:20:27,801 --> 00:20:29,267 You don't remember? 421 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,701 Think. 422 00:20:30,734 --> 00:20:33,367 I... I remember I was a cute little guy. 423 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,701 I had some kind of an accent. 424 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,234 But I've worked at it so hard 425 00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:38,934 I've been doing it for so long, 426 00:20:38,968 --> 00:20:41,534 I just don't remember what I used to sound like. 427 00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:43,100 Well, not much different than you do now. 428 00:20:44,801 --> 00:20:45,934 You remember? 429 00:20:45,968 --> 00:20:47,267 Latka Gravas. 430 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:50,133 ( higher voice ): Latka Gravas, Ibeda. 431 00:20:51,801 --> 00:20:53,000 Yeah. 432 00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:57,767 Yeah, I do remember "Latka Gravas, Ibeda." 433 00:20:57,801 --> 00:20:59,834 I'll try it. 434 00:20:59,868 --> 00:21:03,434 Okay, Latka Gravas. 435 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,334 Ibeda. 436 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,501 Oh, it's no use, Alex, I can't cut it. 437 00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:16,167 I can't, I went too far. 438 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,667 I don't remember what I sounded like. 439 00:21:18,701 --> 00:21:21,734 I can't sound like him anymore so this is it. 440 00:21:21,767 --> 00:21:24,367 From here on in, the highway's full of honky-tonks 441 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,400 and one-nighters and no place to go when the bars close. 442 00:21:27,434 --> 00:21:28,734 No, no, no, no, no. 443 00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:29,968 No, it doesn't have to be that way. 444 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,801 Oh, come on, cadet, stop the snowfall. 445 00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:33,367 I can take the truth. 446 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,901 Latka, Latka, just calm down. 447 00:21:35,934 --> 00:21:37,901 Don't try so hard. 448 00:21:37,934 --> 00:21:40,067 I mean, just trust that Latka's in there, 449 00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:41,534 that he'll come out. 450 00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:42,534 Just trust it and relax. 451 00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:43,634 No way, buddy boy. 452 00:21:43,667 --> 00:21:45,601 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 453 00:21:45,634 --> 00:21:47,868 Now, remember, Latka was a kind of quiet guy. 454 00:21:47,901 --> 00:21:49,100 Trust me. 455 00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:51,767 Just be quiet, just relax, okay? 456 00:21:51,801 --> 00:21:52,968 Mm-hmm. Think. 457 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,667 He's in there somewhere? 458 00:21:54,701 --> 00:21:55,968 Right. 459 00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:01,234 Come on, Latka. 460 00:22:01,267 --> 00:22:02,968 Come on out, Latka. 461 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,968 I know you're in there somewhere. 462 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,267 Okay, okay, I'm sorry. 463 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:13,601 All right. 464 00:22:34,534 --> 00:22:36,267 Latka. 465 00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:37,334 Yes, yes, yes. 466 00:22:37,367 --> 00:22:38,267 Good, good, good. 467 00:22:39,267 --> 00:22:41,234 Right, right, right, right, right. 468 00:22:41,267 --> 00:22:43,234 You got it. 469 00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:44,634 ( as Latka ): Alex? Yes, Latka. 470 00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,534 Thank you very much. You're welcome. 471 00:22:46,567 --> 00:22:48,200 Oh, there's so much I want to tell you 472 00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:50,200 that has happened to me since I last saw you. 473 00:22:50,234 --> 00:22:51,901 Oh, great, I'd love to hear it, Sit down. 474 00:22:51,934 --> 00:22:54,067 Okay. Well... 475 00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:56,567 ( speaking native language ) 476 00:22:56,601 --> 00:22:57,901 Oh, yeah. 477 00:22:57,934 --> 00:23:00,501 ( speaking native language ) 478 00:23:00,534 --> 00:23:02,901 ( chuckles ): Wasn't that silly? 479 00:23:02,934 --> 00:23:04,501 ( speaking falsetto ) 480 00:23:04,534 --> 00:23:06,033 ( laughing ) I remember that. 481 00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:07,234 ( speaking native language ) Yeah? 482 00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:08,701 ( speaking native language ) ...Playboy. 483 00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:10,067 Oh, yeah. 484 00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:12,434 I'll get us a couple of beers-- I'm listening. 485 00:23:12,467 --> 00:23:14,534 ( speaking native language as Vic Ferrari ) 486 00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:16,033 ( laughing ) 487 00:23:16,067 --> 00:23:20,367 ( speaking native language as Latka ) 488 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,567 Yeah, well, you know, that was another time. 489 00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:24,167 ( speaking native language ) Oh, well... 490 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,067 ( speaking native language ) ...don't like you. 491 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,467 ( shouting in native language ) Well, I'm sorry about that. 492 00:23:28,501 --> 00:23:30,033 Guano, guano... ( speaking native language ) 493 00:23:30,067 --> 00:23:32,033 Yeah, well, yeah, here. 494 00:23:32,067 --> 00:23:33,868 ( speaking native language ) 495 00:23:33,901 --> 00:23:36,067 ( laughs ) 496 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:36,868 Then... 497 00:23:36,901 --> 00:23:38,567 Thank you very much. 498 00:23:38,601 --> 00:23:41,067 ( speaking native language ) 499 00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:43,067 So go ahead, tell me more, tell me more. 500 00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,567 Well, that's it. Oh... 501 00:23:44,601 --> 00:23:47,067 Then here I am, and here you are. 502 00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:49,100 Well, it's nice to have you back, Latka. 503 00:23:49,133 --> 00:23:50,667 ( as Vic Ferrari ): All right. 504 00:23:50,701 --> 00:23:52,400 ( as Latka ): No, no, I'm only fooling. 505 00:23:52,434 --> 00:23:54,467 Where is your sense of humor? 506 00:24:04,567 --> 00:24:07,033 ( theme music playing ) 507 00:24:31,567 --> 00:24:33,133 WOMAN: Night, Mr. Walters. 508 00:24:33,167 --> 00:24:34,501 ( grunts ) 509 00:24:34,551 --> 00:24:39,101 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35016

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