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1
00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:25,133
You know, Bobby,
2
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,634
I been thinking
about something.
3
00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:27,634
Yeah?
4
00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:29,667
Look at me--
I get up every morning,
5
00:01:29,701 --> 00:01:30,367
I eat breakfast,
6
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,200
I get dressed, I go to the gym
7
00:01:32,234 --> 00:01:33,400
and I come to work.
8
00:01:33,434 --> 00:01:35,934
I go home, I watch TV,
and I go to sleep.
9
00:01:35,968 --> 00:01:37,100
Next day, I wake up,
10
00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:39,434
I start the whole thing
all over again.
11
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,534
Yeah, I think about my life
that way sometimes too, Tony.
12
00:01:42,567 --> 00:01:44,334
It's depressing,
isn't it?
13
00:01:44,367 --> 00:01:45,501
Depressing?!
14
00:01:45,534 --> 00:01:47,701
I was thinking I had it made.
15
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,434
Hey, good evening,
everybody.
16
00:01:51,467 --> 00:01:52,434
Hey, Alex.
Yo, Alex.
17
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:53,601
Hey, Louie got our
cabs ready yet?
18
00:01:53,634 --> 00:01:54,601
No.
Not yet.
19
00:01:54,634 --> 00:01:55,767
( groans )
20
00:01:55,801 --> 00:01:57,767
Hey, Rieger,
how's your daughter?
21
00:01:57,801 --> 00:01:58,767
My daughter?
22
00:01:58,801 --> 00:02:00,100
I don't know,
I guess she's fine.
23
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,968
Haven't heard from her
for awhile.
24
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,133
Hey, wait a minute.
25
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:07,634
How come you're asking me
a normal human question?
26
00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:08,801
I don't know.
27
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:10,701
I just thought I'd try it.
28
00:02:10,734 --> 00:02:11,934
Oh.
29
00:02:11,968 --> 00:02:13,300
You can ask me a normal
human question
30
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,767
once in a while too, you know.
31
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,434
It's a two-way street.
32
00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:17,767
All right.
33
00:02:17,801 --> 00:02:20,868
You still have
that cockroach problem, Louie?
34
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,501
Yeah.
ALEX: Hm.
35
00:02:24,534 --> 00:02:26,267
Thanks for asking.
36
00:02:27,934 --> 00:02:29,968
There!
Would you believe that?
37
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,701
There's one
of the little buggers now.
38
00:02:32,734 --> 00:02:34,400
( stamping foot )
39
00:02:34,434 --> 00:02:36,434
Don't fight back.
40
00:02:39,567 --> 00:02:41,534
LOUIE:
Looked like you, Iggy.
41
00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,000
Thanks, boss.
42
00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:46,300
Now, back to
your daughter.
43
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:47,367
How old was she
44
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,400
when your wife
pulled out with her?
45
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:51,734
Hey, Louie, I wouldn't
discuss the weather with you.
46
00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:52,901
What makes you think
I would discuss
47
00:02:52,934 --> 00:02:54,801
the personal facts
of my life?
48
00:02:54,834 --> 00:02:56,133
Listen, go easy on me here.
49
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,334
Would you just
get away from me?
50
00:02:57,367 --> 00:02:59,434
I'm trying to do this gentle.
51
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:04,667
I know something
that would break your heart.
52
00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:05,667
Oh, yeah?
What do you know?
53
00:03:05,701 --> 00:03:07,067
All right, let's
proceed my way and...
54
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,067
No, no, just tell me
what you know.
55
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,100
Just tell me
what you know.
56
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:10,234
Let's do it my way.
57
00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:11,267
My way or no way.
You just tell me...
58
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:12,901
My way or no way!
59
00:03:12,934 --> 00:03:14,400
All right, your way.
60
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:15,767
All right.
61
00:03:15,801 --> 00:03:17,667
Your daughter...
62
00:03:17,701 --> 00:03:19,801
what are you listening to,
Banta?
63
00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:21,701
I could be here
if I want to, Louie.
64
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:22,968
No, you can't.
65
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,501
This is America, Louie.
66
00:03:24,534 --> 00:03:25,801
No, it isn't!
67
00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:26,801
It isn't?
68
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:28,267
No!
69
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,434
This garage is Louie Land.
70
00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:33,434
You want to go to America?
71
00:03:33,467 --> 00:03:35,434
Go outside.
72
00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:39,033
I'll be over here
if you need me, Alex.
73
00:03:39,067 --> 00:03:41,067
Yeah, so?
74
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,300
So how old
was your daughter
75
00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:45,434
when your wife
pulled out?
76
00:03:46,968 --> 00:03:49,100
All right, she was two.
77
00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:50,534
Two.
78
00:03:51,868 --> 00:03:53,334
Hey, what are you
getting at?
79
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,267
Alex, he doesn't
know anything.
80
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,634
What are you letting him
do this to you for?
81
00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:57,567
No, no, no, I think
he knows something.
82
00:03:57,601 --> 00:04:01,601
His eyes are bulging
like a frog's in heat.
83
00:04:01,634 --> 00:04:05,601
Rieger, you're smart
to notice this.
84
00:04:05,634 --> 00:04:08,434
Stick around, Nardo.
85
00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,634
He's going to need
your ample bosom
86
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,067
to cry on
in a second.
87
00:04:14,534 --> 00:04:19,100
Rieger...
88
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,467
your daughter's gettin' married
89
00:04:21,501 --> 00:04:24,267
and the wedding is here
in New York City,
90
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,601
and she didn't even
invite the man
91
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,534
whose glands
gave her birth.
92
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,200
Take care
of him, honey.
93
00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:32,934
Wait a minute.
94
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,934
How do you know that?
95
00:04:34,968 --> 00:04:36,267
Here.
96
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,934
Read it for yourself.
97
00:04:37,968 --> 00:04:39,634
Right under the roach.
98
00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:42,334
All right.
99
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:46,367
Her boyfriend's father
is a UN ambassador.
100
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,734
I see it.
101
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:50,400
You raise a kid,
102
00:04:50,434 --> 00:04:54,167
you give them two
of the best years of your life,
103
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,200
and they wind up
forgetting you.
104
00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:59,367
That's why
I hate kids.
105
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,968
It's like Ma always said:
106
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,601
"You're better off
raising tomatoes.
107
00:05:02,634 --> 00:05:03,734
You can eat 'em."
108
00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:06,701
All right, all right,
109
00:05:06,734 --> 00:05:07,901
come on, come on,
leave him alone.
110
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:08,901
He'll work it
out somehow.
111
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,300
Come on! Let's get
some cabs on the road.
112
00:05:10,334 --> 00:05:13,801
Banta? Nardo, Nardo!
Wheeler! Come on.
113
00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:15,834
Rieger, you snapped
out of it yet?
114
00:05:15,868 --> 00:05:17,501
Come on, it's not like
it's money. Come on.
115
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:18,968
Louie, will you
knock it off? Huh?
116
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,000
Give the guy
some room.
117
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:21,834
You okay, Alex?
118
00:05:21,868 --> 00:05:25,434
All right, will you stop making
such a big deal about this, huh?
119
00:05:25,467 --> 00:05:26,767
Go on, go to work.
Go to work.
120
00:05:26,801 --> 00:05:28,234
Will you go to work?
121
00:05:28,267 --> 00:05:29,734
Come on, no kidding.
122
00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:31,100
You heard the man.
123
00:05:31,133 --> 00:05:32,801
Look, I... she lives in Brazil.
124
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,734
I saw her that one time
in the past few years.
125
00:05:35,767 --> 00:05:38,834
All right, so she doesn't want
me at the wedding. Big deal.
126
00:05:38,868 --> 00:05:40,400
Oh, now, don't assume
she doesn't want you.
127
00:05:40,434 --> 00:05:41,934
I mean, it could've been
some foul-up in the mail.
128
00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:43,033
Oh, please, Elaine.
129
00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:45,667
Rio De Janeiro to here--
do you know how far that is?
130
00:05:45,701 --> 00:05:47,100
REVEREND JIM:
Six thousand...
131
00:05:47,133 --> 00:05:50,434
eight hundred and
forty-two miles.
132
00:05:53,634 --> 00:05:55,100
Well...
133
00:05:55,133 --> 00:05:58,834
do you know what kind
of mail system they must have?
134
00:05:58,868 --> 00:06:01,267
The Brazilian mail system
135
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,601
is government-run
136
00:06:03,634 --> 00:06:11,868
with an annual budget
of 27,485,000 pesetas.
137
00:06:11,901 --> 00:06:14,267
How do you know
these things?
138
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,667
You mean I'm right?
139
00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:31,434
I wasn't even sure if pesetas
was the right money.
140
00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:32,734
Look, before you get upset,
141
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,834
why don't you just get
on the phone and call her?
142
00:06:35,868 --> 00:06:36,834
Call her?!
Yeah.
143
00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:37,834
Call Brazil?!
Yeah!
144
00:06:37,868 --> 00:06:39,868
You know how much it
costs to call Brazil?
145
00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:48,701
You just went to the well
once too often.
146
00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,634
Alex, please call her.
Call her.
147
00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:51,634
No... Look, all right.
148
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:52,767
All right, all right,
all right.
149
00:06:52,801 --> 00:06:53,868
You're probably right.
You're probably right.
150
00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:55,067
I'll call her tonight.
151
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,033
No, no, no! Not tonight!
Call her right now.
152
00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:58,167
What are you
talking about? I...
153
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,968
Call her, Alex.
Go ahead.
154
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:00,901
Go on.
155
00:07:00,934 --> 00:07:01,901
All right,
I'll call her now.
156
00:07:01,934 --> 00:07:02,901
ELAINE:
Good.
157
00:07:02,934 --> 00:07:06,334
LOUIE:
It's in this paper, too.
158
00:07:06,367 --> 00:07:10,167
"After honeymooning
in the Orient,
159
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:14,868
"the newlyweds will return home
to their estate in Majorca--
160
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:18,000
a gift to them
from the bride's father."
161
00:07:18,033 --> 00:07:20,501
Wow!
Nice present, Alex.
162
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:26,267
Tony, I think they meant
Cathy's other father.
163
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,501
( low grunting )
164
00:07:28,534 --> 00:07:30,834
Hello. Hello.
165
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,701
Can I speak
to Cathy Consuelos, please?
166
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:36,234
Well, then, can I speak
to her mother?
167
00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:38,467
No, no, no, please
don't put me on hold.
168
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,801
Look, I'm calling
from New York City
169
00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:42,467
on a middle-class income.
170
00:07:42,501 --> 00:07:45,801
I-I-I assume you're
Mrs. Consuelos' secretary?
171
00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:47,133
Right, good.
172
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,968
Listen, I'm Alex Rieger.
173
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,968
I'm Cathy's natural father
174
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,567
and I haven't received
my... my invitations yet.
175
00:07:54,601 --> 00:07:56,234
All right, all right, all right,
check, check, check--
176
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,567
go ahead-- but please
check fast, will you?
177
00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:59,567
Check, check,
check, check...
178
00:07:59,601 --> 00:08:01,868
Yes, hello, yes.
179
00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:03,534
What... right.
180
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:06,634
The natural father
speaking here, yes.
181
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:09,334
What?!
182
00:08:09,367 --> 00:08:11,901
Who said I shouldn't be
invited?!
183
00:08:11,934 --> 00:08:13,334
Now, you just listen to me!
184
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:14,400
You tell the mother
of that bride--
185
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:15,400
I am not yelling.
186
00:08:15,434 --> 00:08:16,601
I am not yelling!
187
00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:18,434
You just tell
Mrs. Consuelos...
188
00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:19,601
I am not! I am not!
189
00:08:19,634 --> 00:08:20,934
You tell Mrs. Consuelos
190
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,467
that she better have
those invitations there
191
00:08:23,501 --> 00:08:25,033
because I'm showing up!
You hear me?
192
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,534
I think you're absolutely right
193
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:33,534
in demanding
to go to the wedding.
194
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,534
And if you're gonna take
somebody, it better be me.
195
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:37,067
You?! Why?
196
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,367
Because you need me
and I want to be there.
197
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,067
Reel her in, Rieger.
198
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,167
She's bitten the hook.
199
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,167
Reel her in!
200
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,501
Oh, come on, Louie.
201
00:08:46,534 --> 00:08:48,501
Reel her in, Rieger!
202
00:08:48,534 --> 00:08:50,534
Reel her in, Rieger!
203
00:09:05,734 --> 00:09:09,734
( waltz playing )
204
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:14,634
Alex Rieger and guest.
205
00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:17,634
Ah, yes, I'm sorry, sir, but
your name isn't on the list.
206
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:18,701
How do you know so fast?
207
00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:19,868
Because it's
on the list
208
00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:21,701
that tells me you're
not on the list.
209
00:09:21,734 --> 00:09:22,901
Now wait a minute.
210
00:09:22,934 --> 00:09:24,701
Do you know that my glands
gave birth to the bride here?!
211
00:09:24,734 --> 00:09:26,000
Alex...
Hmm?
212
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,133
Just stop it.
What do you want?
213
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,200
Now, the important thing
214
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,234
is we get in to see
your daughter, right?
215
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:30,367
We're not even invited!
216
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,300
Let me handle it, okay?
217
00:09:32,334 --> 00:09:33,467
Okay.
218
00:09:42,901 --> 00:09:44,934
Excuse me.
219
00:09:44,968 --> 00:09:47,133
Do you have a light?
220
00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:49,234
You don't have
a cigarette.
221
00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:50,868
We don't need
a cigarette.
222
00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:57,067
Should I light it?
223
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,534
Of course.
224
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:07,701
Listen, miss...
225
00:10:07,734 --> 00:10:10,434
I will personally
be grateful to you
226
00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:12,000
if you would just
look the other way
227
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:13,133
for the next few minutes.
228
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:14,868
Elaine, Elaine,
I don't like this.
229
00:10:14,901 --> 00:10:17,234
My older brother here
doesn't like it
230
00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,200
when I have that...
( snaps fingers )
231
00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:21,300
instant chemical thing
232
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:24,634
with a total stranger.
233
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,467
I figure it's a
million-to-one shot
234
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,367
I'll ever see you again,
but I'm going to take it.
235
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,000
Go ahead.
236
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:32,667
You are magic.
237
00:10:32,701 --> 00:10:35,100
Oh, uh, can we have a couple of
glasses of champagne, please?
238
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:36,100
ELAINE:
Yes.
239
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:37,100
Or does she have to flirt
with you, too?
240
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:38,767
Let me just...
Thank you.
241
00:10:38,801 --> 00:10:41,200
Alex, stop being a pain
and enjoy yourself.
242
00:10:41,234 --> 00:10:43,868
You are obviously
with a wildly attractive woman.
243
00:10:43,901 --> 00:10:46,467
Yeah...
244
00:10:46,501 --> 00:10:47,868
I can't figure it out,
I mean,
245
00:10:47,901 --> 00:10:50,334
I don't know why Phyllis
is doing this to me.
246
00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:53,267
I mean, it's not like her.
There's something up here.
247
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,834
I mean, not barring me
from the wedding.
248
00:10:54,868 --> 00:10:56,667
Not avoiding me.
249
00:10:56,701 --> 00:10:58,834
She lives
for confrontations.
250
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:00,501
Yeah, I think
it's terrible,
251
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,334
and you know, maybe we
should talk about it,
252
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:03,667
but you have always
been so touchy
253
00:11:03,701 --> 00:11:05,000
about that
ex-wife subject.
254
00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:07,767
She'll get around to you later.
Don't worry about it.
255
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,067
You have always
been so touchy
256
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:14,200
about the ex-wife thing
that I just naturally assumed
257
00:11:14,234 --> 00:11:16,033
your marriage broke up
for the obvious reasons.
258
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,667
What do you mean:
obvious reasons?
259
00:11:18,701 --> 00:11:19,968
Well, that you were a heel
260
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,200
who couldn't commit
to a wife or child.
261
00:11:22,234 --> 00:11:23,200
Humph!
262
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:25,534
No, Elaine,
she walked out on me.
263
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:27,501
Some nonsense
about being a failure.
264
00:11:27,534 --> 00:11:29,534
Of course, that was before
they accepted my application
265
00:11:29,567 --> 00:11:30,767
at the cab academy.
266
00:11:36,534 --> 00:11:38,534
Oh, my God.
267
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:41,601
What's wrong?
268
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,434
I think I just saw
my ex-wife.
269
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,200
ELAINE:
That's Phyllis?
270
00:11:46,234 --> 00:11:48,100
Yes, I think so.
271
00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:49,834
It looks like she put on
272
00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:51,000
a couple of extra pounds
here and there...
273
00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:53,334
and everywhere.
274
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:54,467
Mmm...
275
00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:56,200
Alex!
276
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:57,501
Hmm?
277
00:11:57,534 --> 00:11:58,767
Oh, look who's... oh!
278
00:11:58,801 --> 00:11:59,767
Look at this!
279
00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:02,501
I finally found you!
Beautiful!
280
00:12:02,534 --> 00:12:04,968
You are gorgeous!
281
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,701
Finally, a real welcome.
282
00:12:06,734 --> 00:12:08,767
What do you mean?
I have been looking all over for you.
283
00:12:08,801 --> 00:12:10,868
I was afraid
you didn't make it.
284
00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:12,234
Are you kidding?
285
00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:15,367
A team of wild ex-wives
couldn't keep me away.
286
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,133
You look... oh, excuse me.
This is Elaine.
287
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:19,133
Nardo.
288
00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:20,133
ALEX:
Nardo.
289
00:12:20,167 --> 00:12:22,734
Oh, gosh, it's such
a pleasure to meet you.
290
00:12:22,767 --> 00:12:24,234
You look so beautiful.
291
00:12:24,267 --> 00:12:25,934
And without makeup.
292
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:27,334
I couldn't tell from
where we were sitting,
293
00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:29,300
Oh, where were
you sitting? but the detail on the dress...
294
00:12:29,334 --> 00:12:32,701
Oh, uh, well, we had good seats,
they were just...
295
00:12:32,734 --> 00:12:34,100
Way back.
High.
296
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:35,200
But fine.
But fine.
297
00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:36,367
You were supposed to be seated
298
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,300
on the aisle in the third row.
299
00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:41,000
And I wanted you to be
in the reception line with us.
300
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:42,701
Didn't you get the note
with my invitation?
301
00:12:42,734 --> 00:12:44,467
No, no, I'm afraid
I didn't. No.
302
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:47,234
Oh, I don't understand
how a mistake like this could happen.
303
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,634
Well, what's the difference?
304
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:49,634
Here-- waiter?
305
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:50,634
Come on.
306
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:51,634
Huh?
307
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:52,968
I want you to meet somebody.
308
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,000
Well, who?
309
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,434
Oh, my God.
310
00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:03,601
I would like you to meet
311
00:13:03,634 --> 00:13:06,267
my father--
Carlo Consuelos.
312
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:09,300
Father, this is my father,
Alex Rieger.
313
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:11,100
It's a pleasure
meeting you at last.
314
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:12,367
The pleasure is mine.
315
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,701
( laughing )
316
00:13:13,734 --> 00:13:15,367
Hey, it's nice of you
to say that, you know that?
317
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,667
He's a nice guy, isn't he?
318
00:13:17,701 --> 00:13:20,200
Mother, what are you doing
down there?
319
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:24,667
Oh, I was just pulling up
his socks, dear.
320
00:13:24,701 --> 00:13:27,100
I'll introduce myself later.
321
00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:31,667
Well... look.
322
00:13:31,701 --> 00:13:33,300
If it isn't Alex.
323
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:34,634
Hello, Phyllis.
324
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:37,133
CATHY:
Mother, Alex was seated way up in the balcony.
325
00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:39,267
Hey, what's the difference?
We were there, right?
326
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,400
No, it makes a lot
of difference.
327
00:13:40,434 --> 00:13:41,400
I don't understand how
328
00:13:41,434 --> 00:13:42,834
a mistake like this
could be made,
329
00:13:42,868 --> 00:13:43,767
do you, Mother?
330
00:13:43,801 --> 00:13:47,100
( mumbling )
331
00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:48,434
Darling, why don't you go
332
00:13:48,467 --> 00:13:49,901
take your place
in the reception line.
333
00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,834
There are people who are just
hugging and crying
334
00:13:51,868 --> 00:13:54,000
over another little girl
in a white dress.
335
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,267
Go, go. Go, go.
336
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,601
See you later.
That's good.
337
00:13:58,033 --> 00:14:00,701
Well... Alex...
338
00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:03,667
18 years, and at last,
339
00:14:03,701 --> 00:14:06,234
a terribly
uncomfortable moment.
340
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:07,567
What's wrong with you?
341
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:09,734
How come I wasn't invited
to the wedding?!
342
00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:12,100
Alex, can't we
just chat first?
343
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:14,801
I mean, we have so
much to talk about.
344
00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:17,567
I mean, your life
has changed dramatically
345
00:14:17,601 --> 00:14:18,968
since I knew you.
346
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,467
I hear they have those
electronic meters now.
347
00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:23,400
( stammering )
348
00:14:23,434 --> 00:14:25,100
Hello.
I'm Elaine Nardo.
349
00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:26,234
This is a
beautiful wedding.
350
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:27,734
You must be so happy.
351
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:30,868
I'm sorry,
did you say something?
352
00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:33,033
Yes, I said that
I'm Elaine Nardo.
353
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:33,968
Yes?
354
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,133
And this is
a beautiful wedding.
355
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:40,100
Did you say
you were with him?
356
00:14:40,133 --> 00:14:44,033
Uh, no, actually, I didn't,
but, yes, I am with Alex.
357
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:45,267
Oh.
358
00:14:48,534 --> 00:14:51,634
He and I work together
at the garage.
359
00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:54,234
Oh, you mean
you're a cab driver?
360
00:14:54,267 --> 00:14:56,400
Yes, well, I also work
in an art gallery,
361
00:14:56,434 --> 00:14:58,400
but, yes, I am
a cab driver.
362
00:14:58,434 --> 00:14:59,801
Oh, of course.
363
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:01,267
There must be
female cab drivers.
364
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:06,033
I mean, where else would all the
little cab drivers come from?
365
00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:09,167
( laughing )
366
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:13,334
It wasn't your fault.
367
00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:16,868
How come
I wasn't invited?
368
00:15:16,901 --> 00:15:19,067
I didn't want you there.
369
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,601
Oh.
370
00:15:23,534 --> 00:15:25,400
All right, look, I don't want
to hold the line any longer.
371
00:15:25,434 --> 00:15:27,534
I'll just, uh...
372
00:15:27,567 --> 00:15:29,167
I'll just say congratulations
and good luck
373
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,667
and, uh, remember,
you haven't lost a daughter,
374
00:15:31,701 --> 00:15:33,133
you've gained a ton.
375
00:15:37,033 --> 00:15:39,000
Phyllis, I was just...
I was just joking.
376
00:15:39,033 --> 00:15:40,000
Hello. Hello.
377
00:15:40,033 --> 00:15:41,501
I was just joking.
It was just a joke.
378
00:15:41,534 --> 00:15:43,033
Hi. How are you?
379
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,067
ALEX:
Phyll!
380
00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:51,467
Phyll... eh...
381
00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:52,601
Alex,
Huh?
382
00:15:52,634 --> 00:15:53,801
what happened
with Mother?
383
00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:55,567
Nothing. Nothing.
We just had a chat.
384
00:15:55,601 --> 00:15:57,067
Alex, she's acting
real strange
385
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,067
and I think I
figured out why.
386
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:00,968
You know, she's
gained a few pounds,
387
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,400
and she's so
vain about it.
388
00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:03,400
Oh, yeah.
389
00:16:03,434 --> 00:16:05,534
I think she was afraid
of what you might say
390
00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:06,834
if you saw her like this.
391
00:16:06,868 --> 00:16:08,667
Oh...
392
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,467
Oh, but that's crazy.
393
00:16:10,501 --> 00:16:12,868
You wouldn't say anything
about her weight, would you?
394
00:16:12,901 --> 00:16:15,934
No, no, no...
I wouldn't. No.
395
00:16:24,868 --> 00:16:26,567
Why do I feel terrible?
396
00:16:26,601 --> 00:16:28,100
I was shut out of my
daughter's wedding,
397
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:29,701
shut out of
the reception;
398
00:16:29,734 --> 00:16:31,033
my profession
has been ridiculed
399
00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:33,434
to an extent
approaching... truth,
400
00:16:33,467 --> 00:16:34,868
so why do I feel guilty?
401
00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:37,300
Because you hurt a woman
you once loved
402
00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:38,868
on the most important
night of her life?
403
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:41,000
No, that's not it.
404
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:43,067
Because your daughter
will sense her mother's hurt
405
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,100
and it'll spoil
the one evening
406
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:46,701
that's supposed
to be perfect.
407
00:16:46,734 --> 00:16:49,901
That's the one.
408
00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:52,000
Think I better go over there.
409
00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:54,267
That's a very strange thing
you have a talent for, Elaine,
410
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,501
you know that?
411
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,434
( clearing throat )
412
00:16:59,467 --> 00:17:01,501
Excuse me, uh, may
I cut in, please?
413
00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:02,534
PHYLLIS:
Don't let him.
414
00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:06,968
May-May I cut in, please?
415
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,567
He looks like
a bad dancer.
416
00:17:09,601 --> 00:17:12,534
Phyllis, we have something
to talk about.
417
00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,200
Of course, Mr. Rieger.
418
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,300
You two should talk.
419
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:16,534
Thank you.
420
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,601
A fine gentleman.
421
00:17:18,634 --> 00:17:20,434
Come on, Phyllis,
let's dance.
422
00:17:20,467 --> 00:17:21,434
No... No...
423
00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:22,434
Come on, Phyllis,
let's dance.
424
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:23,434
No!
425
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,501
Everybody's watching.
426
00:17:24,534 --> 00:17:26,033
Just dance with me, please.
Just dance with me.
427
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:28,267
This goes here.
428
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,667
Now, come on.
429
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:34,367
Aha! You've been sneaking out
430
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,634
and taking dancing lessons,
haven't you?
431
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,767
What is the point of this?
432
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,300
I was afraid I may
have hurt your feelings.
433
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:41,868
You wish you could
hurt my feelings.
434
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:42,868
Look, if I hurt
your feelings...
435
00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:43,868
You didn't hurt
my feelings.
436
00:17:43,901 --> 00:17:44,801
I'm sorry I hurt
your feelings.
437
00:17:44,834 --> 00:17:45,834
You're not sorry
you hurt my feelings.
438
00:17:45,868 --> 00:17:46,801
Then I did hurt
your feelings.
439
00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,100
Did I hurt
your feelings?
440
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,100
Yes, you hurt
my feelings. You have no feelings.
441
00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:50,834
Am I crazy,
or was that fun?
442
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:52,334
No, it's not fun.
None of this is fun.
443
00:17:52,367 --> 00:17:53,834
Leave me the hell alone.
444
00:17:53,868 --> 00:17:56,234
Phyllis, come on,
we're acting crazy.
445
00:17:56,267 --> 00:17:58,267
We were once married.
446
00:17:58,300 --> 00:17:59,701
Look, I just want
to talk to you
447
00:17:59,734 --> 00:18:02,033
for five minutes alone
in that room, okay?
448
00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:03,300
Come on.
449
00:18:03,334 --> 00:18:05,501
You get your hands off me
450
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:08,100
or I'll charge you
for half this wedding.
451
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,601
No.
452
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,734
Okay.
453
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:29,467
( coughs )
454
00:18:33,467 --> 00:18:35,868
Um...
( laughs )
455
00:18:35,901 --> 00:18:39,033
Gee, just like
our old apartment.
456
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,601
What a nice touch.
457
00:18:42,634 --> 00:18:44,701
Did you plan this
this way?
458
00:18:44,734 --> 00:18:48,200
Phyllis, look, I made some
remarks about your appearance
459
00:18:48,234 --> 00:18:49,901
and I didn't mean them.
460
00:18:49,934 --> 00:18:54,801
I mean, look, it was...
I was just angry
461
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,968
because you didn't invite me
to the wedding.
462
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:57,934
But you really
look terrific
463
00:18:57,968 --> 00:19:00,133
and I'm glad we saw
each other again.
464
00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:06,934
You took me
all the way in here
465
00:19:06,968 --> 00:19:10,501
to do what you had to do
as badly as you just did it?
466
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:13,133
I mean,
I have Kleenex
467
00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:15,701
in my purse getting
ready for this moment.
468
00:19:16,701 --> 00:19:18,334
What was that you said?
469
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:20,767
"I was mad,
and I didn't mean it"?
470
00:19:20,801 --> 00:19:22,434
That's the truth.
What do you want me to say?
471
00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:25,200
No, it was fine
what you said.
472
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,300
Are we finished?
I can't tell.
473
00:19:30,934 --> 00:19:32,968
You would think that
after 18 years,
474
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,501
you could stop
criticizing me.
475
00:19:34,534 --> 00:19:36,701
Wouldn't you?
476
00:19:39,801 --> 00:19:41,701
After 18 years,
you wouldn't think
477
00:19:41,734 --> 00:19:44,033
that you could still
make me crazy.
478
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:47,133
Would you?
479
00:19:47,167 --> 00:19:48,934
Come on, Phyllis.
Come on.
480
00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:51,033
Okay, look,
we come in here
481
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:53,267
and you tell me
I look terrific?
482
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,267
I'm 18 years older.
483
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:58,000
I'm 30 pounds heavier.
484
00:19:58,033 --> 00:20:00,434
You know, I've let
this dress out three times.
485
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,567
It's a month old.
486
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:05,667
I mean, this
is all recent.
487
00:20:05,701 --> 00:20:07,267
You know, I was nervous
before the wedding.
488
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:08,667
I started eating.
489
00:20:08,701 --> 00:20:10,200
What were you
nervous about?
490
00:20:10,234 --> 00:20:11,868
Having gained 27 pounds
491
00:20:11,901 --> 00:20:13,834
since we last
saw each other.
492
00:20:13,868 --> 00:20:16,200
( laughing )
493
00:20:18,067 --> 00:20:20,234
You still have
that great sense... That great sense of humor.
494
00:20:20,267 --> 00:20:22,200
I hate being mimicked.
I hate it!
495
00:20:24,868 --> 00:20:25,901
You still do, huh?
496
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:26,968
Yes, I do, yes.
497
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,801
You mean the same old
things still annoy you?
498
00:20:29,834 --> 00:20:30,801
Yes.
499
00:20:30,834 --> 00:20:33,501
( laughs )
500
00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:35,634
Aw...
501
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,634
( squeaky ):
Whoa-whoa...!
502
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:41,100
You stop that,
stop that, stop that. Testing; just testing.
503
00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:42,300
Just testing.
504
00:20:42,334 --> 00:20:44,634
Yes, the same old things
annoy me, yes.
505
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:45,868
( clears throat )
506
00:20:47,701 --> 00:20:49,334
( chuckling )
507
00:20:49,367 --> 00:20:50,334
What were you
just thinking?
508
00:20:50,367 --> 00:20:51,334
Nah, no, nothing.
509
00:20:51,367 --> 00:20:52,367
No, come on, what
were you thinking?
510
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,434
No, no, no.
511
00:20:53,467 --> 00:20:54,467
I wasn't thinking about
the things that annoy me.
512
00:20:54,501 --> 00:20:55,767
I was thinking about, uh,
513
00:20:55,801 --> 00:21:01,400
some of the nice things;
some of the, ah, well...
514
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:03,300
Why, Alex...
Eh?
515
00:21:03,334 --> 00:21:05,434
what a dirty little
mind we have.
516
00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:07,868
No, no, no, no, no.
It wasn't dirty.
517
00:21:07,901 --> 00:21:09,968
I was just thinking about
some of the, you know,
518
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:10,868
the things that, uh...
519
00:21:10,901 --> 00:21:12,667
I know exactly what
you were thinking.
520
00:21:12,701 --> 00:21:13,701
Oh, yeah?
What was I thinking?
521
00:21:13,734 --> 00:21:14,767
Yeah, I know exactly.
All right, what?
522
00:21:14,801 --> 00:21:16,167
You were thinking...
523
00:21:18,367 --> 00:21:20,434
I was not.
No, I know.
524
00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:21,534
I got it,
I got it, okay?
525
00:21:21,567 --> 00:21:22,534
Oh, yeah? What?
526
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:23,534
Come here.
What?!
527
00:21:23,567 --> 00:21:25,300
Come here.
What?!
528
00:21:27,968 --> 00:21:31,467
Lucky guess. Hah.
529
00:21:31,501 --> 00:21:33,300
( laughing ):
You...
530
00:21:36,234 --> 00:21:37,734
But it's true, huh?
531
00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:42,033
I mean... the physical part
of our relationship
532
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:45,334
was always pretty fair, huh?
533
00:21:45,367 --> 00:21:46,534
Good.
534
00:21:46,567 --> 00:21:47,701
Good?
535
00:21:47,734 --> 00:21:49,968
Great! It was great!
536
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,334
Yeah, we always knew how
537
00:21:51,367 --> 00:21:52,934
to push each other's buttons,
didn't we?
538
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,634
But now I don't know
539
00:21:58,667 --> 00:22:02,634
whether I can push
anybody's buttons anymore...
540
00:22:02,667 --> 00:22:05,267
or anybody can
push my buttons.
541
00:22:07,434 --> 00:22:10,934
Or find my buttons anymore.
542
00:22:16,667 --> 00:22:20,400
Well, listen, if they ever
get up a search party...
543
00:22:20,434 --> 00:22:23,067
Oh, Alex...
544
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,067
you are so sweet.
545
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:28,067
( laughing )
546
00:22:28,100 --> 00:22:29,501
Oh, Phyllis,
547
00:22:29,534 --> 00:22:31,367
it's really great
being able
548
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,501
to say good-bye
this way, you know?
549
00:22:32,534 --> 00:22:35,100
Oh, I know.
I'm so glad.
550
00:22:40,501 --> 00:22:42,767
Phyllis, Phyllis...
551
00:22:42,801 --> 00:22:43,734
Phyllis, come on.
552
00:22:43,767 --> 00:22:44,968
Mm, mm...
553
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,868
No, Phyllis...
554
00:22:46,901 --> 00:22:50,133
Oh, Phyllis, no...
555
00:22:50,167 --> 00:22:53,200
Ooh, ow, ooh...
556
00:22:53,234 --> 00:22:55,634
( both moaning )
557
00:23:01,968 --> 00:23:03,400
Oh, and to think
558
00:23:03,434 --> 00:23:06,934
I didn't want you
to be at this wedding.
559
00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:09,534
CATHY:
Mother! Alex!
560
00:23:09,567 --> 00:23:11,567
They said you
came this way!
561
00:23:12,801 --> 00:23:15,634
I'm cutting the cake.
562
00:23:15,667 --> 00:23:16,634
Hi, kid.
563
00:23:16,667 --> 00:23:17,634
Well...
564
00:23:17,667 --> 00:23:19,501
This is the best gift
565
00:23:19,534 --> 00:23:21,367
I could've received--
566
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,133
seeing you two
together.
567
00:23:23,167 --> 00:23:25,534
Yeah, well, five minutes later,
you would've had a better gift.
568
00:23:32,601 --> 00:23:36,367
You know what I'd
really like to see?
569
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,367
You two hugging each other.
570
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,334
Oh, come on, come on,
Cathy, please...
571
00:23:41,367 --> 00:23:42,501
Oh, come on, you can do it.
572
00:23:42,534 --> 00:23:44,000
Cathy...
For me?
573
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:48,834
CATHY:
Come on.
574
00:23:48,868 --> 00:23:49,934
All right.
575
00:23:49,968 --> 00:23:50,934
For the kid.
576
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:53,400
Come on.
577
00:23:58,467 --> 00:24:01,334
( laughing )
578
00:24:01,367 --> 00:24:04,767
Whoa, we're just being crazy,
you know?
579
00:24:06,767 --> 00:24:08,667
And thank you.
580
00:24:08,701 --> 00:24:11,000
You're welcome.
581
00:24:13,634 --> 00:24:15,701
Come on.
582
00:24:15,734 --> 00:24:18,434
Let's get back
to the wedding.
583
00:24:18,467 --> 00:24:19,534
Come on.
Come on.
584
00:24:29,901 --> 00:24:33,334
( theme music playing )
585
00:24:56,901 --> 00:24:58,467
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
586
00:24:58,501 --> 00:24:59,834
( grunts )
587
00:24:59,884 --> 00:25:04,434
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