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1
00:00:03,247 --> 00:00:04,844
Oh, it's-it's you again.
2
00:00:04,846 --> 00:00:07,245
Okay, here's-here's what...
Here's what happened.
3
00:00:07,247 --> 00:00:09,245
Carrie put on this brown wig
4
00:00:09,247 --> 00:00:11,100
and was running out into traffic,
5
00:00:11,102 --> 00:00:14,048
and the guy I thought
was the bad guy isn't,
6
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:16,579
and her boyfriend is the suicide bomber.
7
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,828
You believe that shit?
8
00:00:18,830 --> 00:00:20,901
- Wrong show, Frank.
- What?
9
00:00:20,903 --> 00:00:23,037
That's Homeland, not Shameless.
10
00:00:23,039 --> 00:00:24,285
Oh.
11
00:00:25,164 --> 00:00:26,454
Fuck.
12
00:00:26,456 --> 00:00:27,610
Wow.
13
00:00:28,622 --> 00:00:30,495
Don't mix Percocet with beer.
14
00:00:32,497 --> 00:00:34,495
- Who's the new barback?
- That's Santiago.
15
00:00:34,497 --> 00:00:36,329
He's staying with us until
we find his father.
16
00:00:36,331 --> 00:00:38,420
They were gonna go live
with his uncle in Indiana.
17
00:00:38,422 --> 00:00:41,213
How are we gonna find some
random Guatemalan guy
18
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:42,317
in Gary, Indiana?
19
00:00:42,319 --> 00:00:43,870
I did a web search: "Where to find
20
00:00:43,872 --> 00:00:46,051
illegal immigrants, Gary, Indiana."
21
00:00:46,053 --> 00:00:47,579
Got a whole list of places.
22
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,265
You find Santiago's uncle?
23
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,214
Oh, yeah. Found him and then lost him.
24
00:00:51,216 --> 00:00:52,703
Fly, my Mexican friend!
25
00:00:52,705 --> 00:00:55,263
- Guatemalan.
- Guatemalan friend!
26
00:00:55,265 --> 00:00:56,509
Fly!
27
00:00:56,511 --> 00:00:59,678
Liam, your share of the
bills this month: $70.
28
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,579
- I'm nine.
- Figure it out.
29
00:01:01,581 --> 00:01:04,370
Carl, your share of the bill
this month is 70 bucks.
30
00:01:04,372 --> 00:01:05,831
Maybe you should get a real job
31
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,643
and stop hanging out with
your girlfriend so much.
32
00:01:07,645 --> 00:01:09,139
Ingrid and I are pregnant.
33
00:01:09,141 --> 00:01:10,882
- Triplets?
- Sextuplets.
34
00:01:10,884 --> 00:01:12,662
And we're hiding from a North Korean
35
00:01:12,664 --> 00:01:15,116
fertility specialist, so make room.
36
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,949
- We are moving in.
- Oh, that's hysterical.
37
00:01:17,951 --> 00:01:19,863
Do you really think we can
afford more than one?
38
00:01:19,865 --> 00:01:21,098
You'll get a job.
39
00:01:22,924 --> 00:01:24,662
"Dreams dead? You're our man.
40
00:01:24,664 --> 00:01:26,703
Be the Hobo Loco Man."
Kev, what is this?
41
00:01:26,705 --> 00:01:28,237
They're holding a competition
42
00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:31,703
to choose the Hobo Loco spokesperson.
43
00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:34,245
The winner gets a $50,000 contract
44
00:01:34,247 --> 00:01:37,370
to be in a social media campaign.
45
00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:38,557
This is me.
46
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,120
I'm the Hobo Loco Man.
47
00:01:41,122 --> 00:01:43,120
You smell like a barroom floor.
48
00:01:44,811 --> 00:01:47,776
I don't need anything from you!
49
00:01:47,778 --> 00:01:50,120
- She do this a lot?
- Yeah.
50
00:01:50,122 --> 00:01:51,914
Well, lately.
51
00:02:01,042 --> 00:02:05,828
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
52
00:03:25,703 --> 00:03:28,203
♪ Silicone sour ♪
53
00:03:28,205 --> 00:03:31,670
♪ Burning the hours of the night away ♪
54
00:03:34,497 --> 00:03:36,828
♪ In retro bass ♪
55
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:40,620
♪ From the east side moving right away ♪
56
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,370
♪ You're a satellite ♪
57
00:03:46,497 --> 00:03:49,620
♪ And I'm on your website ♪
58
00:03:52,039 --> 00:03:55,037
♪ Miley doesn't miss you ♪
59
00:03:55,039 --> 00:03:58,953
♪ She got the spread
on the college issue ♪
60
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,703
♪ You're gonna try to save her ♪
61
00:04:03,705 --> 00:04:05,396
♪ You start to blame her... ♪
62
00:04:05,398 --> 00:04:06,746
Oh, shit.
63
00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:07,918
You open?
64
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,537
♪ So you gotta be famous ♪
65
00:04:10,539 --> 00:04:12,620
Twenty-four hours.
66
00:04:12,622 --> 00:04:14,203
♪ It's a golden age ♪
67
00:04:14,205 --> 00:04:15,579
You sit wherever you want.
68
00:04:17,247 --> 00:04:20,662
♪ It's a golden age ♪
69
00:04:22,235 --> 00:04:23,828
♪ It's a golden age ♪
70
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,870
I'll bring menus to you.
71
00:04:25,872 --> 00:04:27,120
Are you hiring?
72
00:04:27,122 --> 00:04:28,287
♪ It's a golden age ♪
73
00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:29,412
What?
74
00:04:29,414 --> 00:04:30,647
I'm a hard worker.
75
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,164
How about this booth right over here?
76
00:04:43,872 --> 00:04:45,830
Got any more where this came from?
77
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:51,911
Couple hours after last call,
but get you some coffee.
78
00:04:51,913 --> 00:04:54,081
So you're just drinking
on the job, then?
79
00:04:55,419 --> 00:04:57,793
Everything okay out here, Fiona?
80
00:05:07,081 --> 00:05:08,789
Let's get out of here.
81
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,206
Shit.
82
00:05:27,872 --> 00:05:29,911
Shit. Shit.
83
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,537
Shit.
84
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,498
You all right?
85
00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:36,039
Yeah.
86
00:05:37,914 --> 00:05:39,289
Good.
87
00:05:57,830 --> 00:05:59,539
Nothing but junk mail.
88
00:06:01,373 --> 00:06:03,412
Rat shit in the attic.
89
00:06:03,414 --> 00:06:05,054
Fires in the dryer vent.
90
00:06:05,056 --> 00:06:06,786
These ads are terrifying.
91
00:06:06,788 --> 00:06:08,914
Carbon monoxide leaks from the furnace?
92
00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:10,620
Fiona always handled this shit.
93
00:06:10,622 --> 00:06:12,579
Should I be worried about these things?
94
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,911
Ah, homeowner stuff.
95
00:06:14,913 --> 00:06:17,081
Sucks to be an adult.
96
00:06:24,747 --> 00:06:27,522
What? I'm eating for seven now.
97
00:06:27,524 --> 00:06:29,149
Well, then all seven
of you are gonna need
98
00:06:29,151 --> 00:06:30,995
to cough up cash if you're
gonna be living here.
99
00:06:30,997 --> 00:06:32,309
All right.
100
00:06:32,311 --> 00:06:33,620
I'm gonna do some therapy sessions
101
00:06:33,622 --> 00:06:35,162
on the phone this afternoon.
102
00:06:35,164 --> 00:06:37,039
I'll write you a check later.
103
00:06:38,955 --> 00:06:40,537
Hey. Where you guys going?
104
00:06:40,539 --> 00:06:41,865
Softball camp.
105
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:45,145
I got a call from one of
those 20 jobs I applied for.
106
00:06:45,147 --> 00:06:46,717
Nice. Which one?
107
00:06:46,719 --> 00:06:48,503
Some seafood restaurant place.
108
00:06:48,505 --> 00:06:50,684
Carl Gallagher's going legit.
109
00:06:50,686 --> 00:06:51,724
Minimum wage?
110
00:06:51,726 --> 00:06:53,512
Only job someone like me can get.
111
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,287
You know, you really
can't put "drug dealer"
112
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,158
or "gunrunner" on your West Point app.
113
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,037
Come on, babe.
114
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:00,846
Can we call the plumber guy?
115
00:07:00,848 --> 00:07:02,870
Says he can snake our tub for ten bucks.
116
00:07:02,872 --> 00:07:04,245
What's wrong with our tub?
117
00:07:04,247 --> 00:07:05,911
It has two inches of scummy water in it
118
00:07:05,913 --> 00:07:07,951
all the time that doesn't drain.
119
00:07:07,953 --> 00:07:09,537
Good morning, family one.
120
00:07:09,539 --> 00:07:11,220
Family two.
121
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,911
Why do you look like a farm animal?
122
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:14,329
Smell like one too.
123
00:07:14,331 --> 00:07:17,388
Your father is gonna
be the new Hobo Loco
124
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,412
beverage spokesperson.
125
00:07:19,414 --> 00:07:22,247
Now, I haven't won the
competition yet, Ingy.
126
00:07:22,704 --> 00:07:24,495
Hobo what-o?
127
00:07:24,497 --> 00:07:27,081
It's a delicious alcoholic beverage.
128
00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:28,412
They're looking for someone
129
00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:29,995
with no purpose in life.
130
00:07:29,997 --> 00:07:32,235
I finally found my calling.
131
00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:35,949
Soon I'll be able to
support those I love.
132
00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:38,036
Oh, yeah.
133
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:42,504
Wish me luck.
134
00:07:42,997 --> 00:07:46,870
Oh, you go get 'em, my Hobo Loco tiger.
135
00:07:46,872 --> 00:07:49,530
Good-bye, little Frank-ettes.
136
00:07:55,539 --> 00:07:57,495
No need to even hold a competition.
137
00:07:57,497 --> 00:07:58,755
If it involves alcohol,
138
00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,456
they should just give him the prize.
139
00:08:01,777 --> 00:08:03,810
Think we need to worry about termites?
140
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,786
The hell's going on?
141
00:08:10,788 --> 00:08:12,620
Jesus, it's almost 7:30.
142
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,370
Place is closed.
143
00:08:14,372 --> 00:08:16,297
W-well, where's Fiona?
144
00:08:16,299 --> 00:08:18,323
We already turned away
a bunch of customers.
145
00:08:18,325 --> 00:08:19,620
Well, let's get set up fast
146
00:08:19,622 --> 00:08:21,373
so we don't lose any more business.
147
00:08:22,224 --> 00:08:23,495
Okay, let's get the coffee going.
148
00:08:23,497 --> 00:08:24,519
Fire up the grills.
149
00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:25,870
Make sure the ketchups are married.
150
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,140
I'll get the blinds.
151
00:08:28,914 --> 00:08:29,911
All right, set the tables.
152
00:08:29,913 --> 00:08:31,346
Let's go, guys. Come on.
153
00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:38,414
Hey, Eliza.
154
00:08:41,705 --> 00:08:43,856
She alive?
155
00:08:43,858 --> 00:08:45,329
Yo, wakey-wakey!
156
00:08:45,331 --> 00:08:46,786
- Get the fuck away from me!
- Whoa, whoa!
157
00:08:46,788 --> 00:08:47,911
Take it easy!
158
00:08:47,913 --> 00:08:49,911
Shit.
159
00:08:49,913 --> 00:08:51,506
Sorry.
160
00:08:51,508 --> 00:08:52,960
You okay?
161
00:08:52,962 --> 00:08:55,614
Yeah. Uh, what time is it?
162
00:08:55,616 --> 00:08:57,453
Why was this place locked?
163
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,953
Oh, uh...
164
00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:04,579
I was doing the cash out late,
165
00:09:04,581 --> 00:09:06,454
and I, uh, went into the back office
166
00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:08,537
for a second, and these...
167
00:09:08,539 --> 00:09:10,870
three sketchy guys just
came out of nowhere,
168
00:09:10,872 --> 00:09:12,370
and I thought they were gonna rob me
169
00:09:12,372 --> 00:09:14,391
or... I don't know what.
170
00:09:14,393 --> 00:09:16,579
My God. Are you okay?
171
00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:18,037
I-I locked up. I didn't know
172
00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:19,495
if they were still hanging around,
173
00:09:19,497 --> 00:09:20,953
and I didn't want to go home
or take the L that late
174
00:09:20,955 --> 00:09:22,637
in case they tried to follow me.
175
00:09:24,217 --> 00:09:27,071
You left the cash out when
you went in the back office?
176
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:29,735
Yeah, it's fine.
177
00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:34,579
All right.
178
00:09:34,581 --> 00:09:37,488
Um, I'm gonna go and take a shower,
179
00:09:37,490 --> 00:09:40,953
and, uh, I will be back
for the lunch shift,
180
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,789
and it won't happen again.
181
00:09:48,039 --> 00:09:50,052
See? Shampoo.
182
00:09:50,054 --> 00:09:51,559
Not dish liquid.
183
00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:53,599
That's an interesting concept.
184
00:09:53,601 --> 00:09:54,813
Here, let me show you.
185
00:09:56,331 --> 00:09:57,789
All right.
186
00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:04,087
Oh, man. Yeah, that, uh...
187
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,078
that actually feels really good.
188
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,037
I give great head, huh?
189
00:10:09,039 --> 00:10:10,537
Yeah, it's better than
your regular head.
190
00:10:10,539 --> 00:10:11,903
- Hey!
- Knock, knock, knock!
191
00:10:11,905 --> 00:10:13,038
- Just me.
- Jesus, dude!
192
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,418
And I'm not looking at your dick.
193
00:10:14,420 --> 00:10:16,633
- I just left my retainer in here.
- Ew!
194
00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:18,662
I lied. I looked at your dick. Bye!
195
00:10:18,664 --> 00:10:20,203
Hey, your stupid boyfriend
still owes me $300
196
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:22,058
for the Comcast bill!
197
00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:26,245
You gotta lose those guys.
198
00:10:26,247 --> 00:10:27,454
Yeah, then I gotta go
through the bullshit
199
00:10:27,456 --> 00:10:28,863
of getting a new roommate.
200
00:10:29,648 --> 00:10:31,773
Okay, turn around. Your turn.
201
00:10:33,087 --> 00:10:34,745
- All right.
- Are you off today?
202
00:10:34,747 --> 00:10:36,203
Yeah.
203
00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:37,662
Me too.
204
00:10:37,664 --> 00:10:38,786
Oh.
205
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:40,620
We should do something.
206
00:10:40,622 --> 00:10:42,662
Why? You're not hanging
around with Boone?
207
00:10:42,664 --> 00:10:44,953
No, he's on his way back to Yemen.
208
00:10:44,955 --> 00:10:46,786
Isn't that where all
those land mines are?
209
00:10:46,788 --> 00:10:48,495
Fingers crossed.
210
00:10:48,497 --> 00:10:50,828
So let's hang out. Never
done that before.
211
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:52,780
We could see if we even like each other.
212
00:10:53,604 --> 00:10:55,428
I got boring shit to do all day.
213
00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:57,828
Me too. We can do it together.
214
00:10:57,830 --> 00:11:00,465
Aah! Turn around.
215
00:11:00,467 --> 00:11:02,620
- Take a look.
- Oh, nice.
216
00:11:02,622 --> 00:11:04,162
- It's good.
- Yeah, I like it.
217
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,370
Right, you see, I give good head too.
218
00:11:05,372 --> 00:11:08,456
What is this?
219
00:11:09,331 --> 00:11:12,786
Diablas! Las diablas!
220
00:11:12,788 --> 00:11:14,287
Santiago.
221
00:11:14,289 --> 00:11:16,287
He probably had a nightmare again.
222
00:11:17,872 --> 00:11:19,037
- Ow!
- Die! Die!
223
00:11:19,039 --> 00:11:21,677
No, please. Stop, please.
224
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,911
Girls! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
225
00:11:23,913 --> 00:11:26,404
- Stop. What are you doing?
- Hey! You're hurting him!
226
00:11:26,406 --> 00:11:28,878
- You duct taped him?
- And handcuffs?
227
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,662
Santiago, I am so sorry.
228
00:11:30,664 --> 00:11:32,370
You have to forgive them.
229
00:11:32,372 --> 00:11:34,245
The-the girls are a little bit wild.
230
00:11:34,247 --> 00:11:36,911
Preschool was supposed
to be taming them.
231
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,258
Come on, baby. Let's
go get you some juice.
232
00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:43,100
Girls, what has gotten into you?
233
00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:45,715
- We don't hurt people.
- We don't?
234
00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:48,034
No, of course not. We have to be nice,
235
00:11:48,036 --> 00:11:49,828
and Santiago's part of our family.
236
00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:52,120
- No.
- Yes, honey,
237
00:11:52,122 --> 00:11:54,308
and his sister's gonna be here soon too.
238
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:55,928
No, they go home.
239
00:11:55,930 --> 00:11:58,163
They don't have a home.
240
00:11:58,165 --> 00:12:00,579
Bad people wanted to turn
them into sex slaves
241
00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:01,745
and gang members.
242
00:12:01,747 --> 00:12:03,421
Kev, please stop talking.
243
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,745
I'm trying to teach them. I'm...
244
00:12:04,747 --> 00:12:06,329
They're four years old. Come on, girls.
245
00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:07,522
It's time to get dressed for school.
246
00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:08,914
Take Santiago to the bar.
247
00:12:11,581 --> 00:12:12,870
Santiago.
248
00:12:12,872 --> 00:12:14,530
What do you say?
249
00:12:14,532 --> 00:12:16,745
Me and you having some
quality dad time together?
250
00:12:16,747 --> 00:12:18,120
Huh? Let's do it!
251
00:12:18,122 --> 00:12:19,749
No, no.
252
00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:21,460
God, I'm so sorry.
253
00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:25,699
Yeah, just hold up the shirt.
254
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:27,953
Nice!
255
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:31,412
Hey, Hobo Loco is trending
in the top 50 right now.
256
00:12:31,414 --> 00:12:33,133
Thought we'd have,
like, 30 homeless here
257
00:12:33,135 --> 00:12:34,598
and that'd be it.
258
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,786
Hey, everyone!
259
00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:38,995
Let me all hear you say,
260
00:12:38,997 --> 00:12:41,245
"I love Hobo Loco!"
261
00:12:41,247 --> 00:12:44,245
I love Hobo Loco!
262
00:12:50,039 --> 00:12:51,745
Are you fucking kidding me?
263
00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:53,370
Who are all these people?
264
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,454
Jesus.
265
00:12:55,456 --> 00:12:59,786
Hey, is everybody here for
the Hobo Loco competition?
266
00:12:59,788 --> 00:13:02,247
Apparently so, but I'm
gonna win this thing.
267
00:13:03,539 --> 00:13:06,370
Gonna be hard, since I'm a shoo-in.
268
00:13:06,372 --> 00:13:07,994
That right?
269
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:11,037
I've never held the same
job for more than 37 days.
270
00:13:11,039 --> 00:13:14,107
I spent my life savings on
a Blockbuster franchise
271
00:13:14,109 --> 00:13:15,682
in 2013.
272
00:13:16,539 --> 00:13:20,123
I buried a bipolar wife, a
cancer-riddled girlfriend,
273
00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:21,729
and a mother who never loved me.
274
00:13:21,731 --> 00:13:23,620
Two-thirds of my penis got blown off
275
00:13:23,622 --> 00:13:25,620
in the First Gulf War.
276
00:13:25,622 --> 00:13:28,162
I won the lottery in 2006
277
00:13:28,164 --> 00:13:30,037
and accidentally used the winning ticket
278
00:13:30,039 --> 00:13:31,983
as a rolling paper.
279
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:34,206
I grew up in Flint, Michigan.
280
00:13:38,855 --> 00:13:39,896
Frank Gallagher.
281
00:13:39,898 --> 00:13:41,127
Mikey O'Shea.
282
00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:44,612
Irish, huh?
283
00:13:44,614 --> 00:13:46,926
Well, the dead junkie whose
wallet I acquired was.
284
00:13:47,955 --> 00:13:49,456
Very impressive.
285
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,078
Why do these fucking posers
286
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,412
think they can steal our thunder?
287
00:13:54,414 --> 00:13:56,078
Because their parents told them
288
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,995
they could be anything
they wanted to be.
289
00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:01,864
Let's teach 'em a lesson.
290
00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:02,870
Let's kick ass.
291
00:14:02,872 --> 00:14:04,120
Excuse us. Excuse us.
292
00:14:04,122 --> 00:14:05,120
- Excuse me!
- Excuse us.
293
00:14:05,122 --> 00:14:06,495
- VIP!
- Coming through.
294
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,828
Coming through. This way. One second.
295
00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:08,911
Look out. Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
296
00:14:08,913 --> 00:14:10,703
Let the real hobos through!
297
00:14:10,705 --> 00:14:12,495
Don't be rude. Don't be rude.
298
00:14:12,497 --> 00:14:13,662
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Come on, excuse us.
299
00:14:13,664 --> 00:14:15,745
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
- Good God.
300
00:14:15,747 --> 00:14:17,573
We're here for the competition.
301
00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:19,870
- Where do we sign?
- They cut the line!
302
00:14:19,872 --> 00:14:21,662
And that's exactly
303
00:14:21,664 --> 00:14:23,287
the kind of spunk we're looking for.
304
00:14:23,289 --> 00:14:24,620
Do you hear that, Phi Piggie Piggie?
305
00:14:24,622 --> 00:14:26,120
That's what they're looking for.
306
00:14:26,122 --> 00:14:28,675
Get your spunk-less ass out of here!
307
00:14:28,677 --> 00:14:30,497
- You should learn.
- Hey, fellas.
308
00:14:30,499 --> 00:14:31,995
I just... I just need you
to sign in right here.
309
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,145
Oh, right away.
310
00:14:33,147 --> 00:14:34,245
- Done.
- Again, yeah.
311
00:14:34,247 --> 00:14:35,662
Great. Mm-hmm.
312
00:14:35,664 --> 00:14:36,995
Okay, next, I'm gonna need to test
313
00:14:36,997 --> 00:14:39,120
your baseline blood alcohol content.
314
00:14:39,122 --> 00:14:41,412
Right this way.
315
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,373
Here we are.
316
00:14:51,164 --> 00:14:52,370
Point two-three.
317
00:14:52,372 --> 00:14:53,639
Nice.
318
00:14:54,705 --> 00:14:56,589
Point two-seven.
319
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,078
Whoa.
320
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,454
All in a day's work.
321
00:14:59,456 --> 00:15:01,481
Whoo. Great job.
322
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,911
Okay, now, over here,
323
00:15:02,913 --> 00:15:04,162
you're gonna need to drink two ounces
324
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:07,037
of Hobo Loco in less than 15 seconds,
325
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:08,703
and please, no throwing up on me.
326
00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:11,120
Please use the trash can over here.
327
00:15:11,122 --> 00:15:15,285
Okay, and...
328
00:15:16,289 --> 00:15:18,325
OMG. That was amazing.
329
00:15:18,327 --> 00:15:19,370
It's like drinking water.
330
00:15:19,372 --> 00:15:21,162
More like watered-down water.
331
00:15:21,164 --> 00:15:23,590
Well, have a Hobo Loco hat.
332
00:15:23,592 --> 00:15:25,037
Agency will be announcing
the contestants
333
00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:26,037
in just a bit.
334
00:15:26,039 --> 00:15:27,162
All right, next.
335
00:15:28,913 --> 00:15:30,911
Good luck, J-holes.
336
00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,245
You hear that, douchebags?
337
00:15:34,747 --> 00:15:36,620
This is the dining area.
338
00:15:36,622 --> 00:15:38,370
I was really impressed with your résumé.
339
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,786
- Really?
- Kitchen.
340
00:15:40,788 --> 00:15:42,432
Yeah.
341
00:15:42,434 --> 00:15:44,329
Military man, hmm?
342
00:15:44,331 --> 00:15:45,911
Mmm-mmm.
343
00:15:45,913 --> 00:15:47,245
Um, okay.
344
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,821
And this is the employee lounge.
345
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:52,662
Your uniform: right in here.
346
00:15:52,664 --> 00:15:54,828
Let me know if you need
any help putting it on.
347
00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:55,911
Yeah.
348
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:56,995
Hey, so what's the job?
349
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,953
Busboy, uh, dishwasher?
350
00:15:58,955 --> 00:16:00,537
Street corner sign spinner.
351
00:16:48,556 --> 00:16:50,078
Hey, Franny.
352
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,662
What is that?
353
00:16:51,664 --> 00:16:54,911
Careful. Here.
354
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:57,203
Hey.
355
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:01,745
What's going on in here?
356
00:17:01,747 --> 00:17:04,668
Morning sickness.
357
00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:06,056
Snaking the tub.
358
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,600
I got it.
359
00:17:08,705 --> 00:17:10,370
That's disgusting!
360
00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,370
- Damn.
- Oh.
361
00:17:13,372 --> 00:17:15,153
I should add "plumber"
to my welding résumé.
362
00:17:15,155 --> 00:17:16,995
All right, may I take a shower, please?
363
00:17:16,997 --> 00:17:19,162
Yeah.
364
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:22,242
Hey, do you ever do those
things in the saver special?
365
00:17:22,244 --> 00:17:24,579
Check for carbon monoxide leaks
or clean the dryer vent?
366
00:17:24,581 --> 00:17:26,995
No. Too busy, you know,
367
00:17:26,997 --> 00:17:29,863
raising five kids and Frank.
368
00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:31,454
Well, make it quick in there.
369
00:17:31,456 --> 00:17:32,703
Make sure you clean up your
hair in the drain after.
370
00:17:32,705 --> 00:17:34,037
Yeah, all right.
371
00:17:37,372 --> 00:17:38,825
Debs.
372
00:17:39,539 --> 00:17:41,212
Sorry I snapped at you.
373
00:17:41,832 --> 00:17:43,303
You're doing a good job.
374
00:17:43,305 --> 00:17:44,745
Thanks.
375
00:17:44,747 --> 00:17:45,911
Also, I'm working the lunch shift later,
376
00:17:45,913 --> 00:17:47,710
so I'll have money for you today.
377
00:17:47,712 --> 00:17:48,828
Good.
378
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:57,120
Really helps my morning sickness.
379
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:12,078
So should we, like, hold
hands or something?
380
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,641
I don't know. Your hands get all sweaty?
381
00:18:14,643 --> 00:18:17,329
They will now that you
asked me like that.
382
00:18:17,331 --> 00:18:18,953
Are you a top or bottom?
383
00:18:18,955 --> 00:18:20,412
- Bottom.
- Ah, see, me too.
384
00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:21,911
This will never work.
385
00:18:21,913 --> 00:18:23,581
It's all right. We're here anyway.
386
00:18:25,101 --> 00:18:26,370
A nursing home?
387
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,454
Yeah. I volunteer here once a month.
388
00:18:28,456 --> 00:18:30,162
Come on, you can help me.
389
00:18:30,164 --> 00:18:31,995
Shit.
390
00:18:31,997 --> 00:18:34,164
Hey, are we gonna be
cleaning bedpans or...
391
00:18:35,623 --> 00:18:37,329
What up, bitches?
392
00:18:37,331 --> 00:18:39,870
Tami, Audrey got denture
cream in my hair.
393
00:18:39,872 --> 00:18:41,287
Aww, let me see that.
394
00:18:41,289 --> 00:18:42,745
I did not do that.
395
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,786
Tomorrow you'll say you did do it.
396
00:18:44,788 --> 00:18:46,786
Make up your Alzheimer's-y mind.
397
00:18:46,788 --> 00:18:49,203
All right, ladies. Who's
at the bowls first?
398
00:18:49,205 --> 00:18:51,969
I've got an assistant today,
so we can do two at a time.
399
00:18:51,971 --> 00:18:54,082
- Me.
- Me too.
400
00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:55,663
- What are we doing?
- Washing their hair.
401
00:18:55,665 --> 00:18:56,926
We're washing their hair?
402
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,124
Yeah. Watch out for that one.
403
00:18:58,126 --> 00:18:59,495
She's handsy, likes to grab a dick.
404
00:18:59,497 --> 00:19:01,742
Hey. You all set?
405
00:19:02,205 --> 00:19:03,370
Oh.
406
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,329
Hey.
407
00:19:17,331 --> 00:19:18,579
Hey. What's up, man?
408
00:19:18,581 --> 00:19:19,875
What are you doing?
409
00:19:19,877 --> 00:19:21,703
Giving Santiago more of an American look
410
00:19:21,705 --> 00:19:23,276
before we go to The Alibi.
411
00:19:23,317 --> 00:19:24,863
_
412
00:19:24,905 --> 00:19:26,204
_
413
00:19:32,314 --> 00:19:34,157
_
414
00:19:34,243 --> 00:19:35,497
_
415
00:19:35,621 --> 00:19:37,037
_
416
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,059
_
417
00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:40,287
_
418
00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:43,870
You're getting his sister too?
419
00:19:43,872 --> 00:19:45,579
Yeah. Foster people are gonna be
420
00:19:45,581 --> 00:19:47,495
dropping her off a little bit later.
421
00:19:47,497 --> 00:19:49,454
There you go.
422
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:53,053
And the final touch.
423
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,828
Huh?
424
00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:58,370
Oh. Okay.
425
00:19:58,372 --> 00:20:00,203
How's he look?
426
00:20:00,205 --> 00:20:01,767
Like a cheesy American.
427
00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:03,245
Nice.
428
00:20:08,997 --> 00:20:11,078
So you got a lady friend back home?
429
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,911
Mm, sure do.
430
00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:14,953
Jasmine Dawn.
431
00:20:14,955 --> 00:20:17,247
Except she kicked me
out three years ago.
432
00:20:19,056 --> 00:20:21,055
Strapping young man like you?
433
00:20:21,057 --> 00:20:22,495
Yeah, well, I had too many blackouts
434
00:20:22,497 --> 00:20:24,703
for her to deal with.
435
00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:26,870
But I become the Hobo Loco Man, though,
436
00:20:26,872 --> 00:20:28,995
she gotta take me back, right?
437
00:20:28,997 --> 00:20:31,287
As long as she'll settle for runner-up.
438
00:20:31,289 --> 00:20:32,706
Won't have to.
439
00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,607
You got loser written all over you.
440
00:20:35,281 --> 00:20:37,662
All right, good afternoon!
441
00:20:37,664 --> 00:20:39,662
Yes, welcome.
442
00:20:39,664 --> 00:20:42,078
Thank you for entering our
Hobo Loco Man search...
443
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,703
Or Hobo Loco Woman,
444
00:20:44,705 --> 00:20:47,203
of course. Yes, ladies.
445
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,037
All right, we have reviewed
your applications,
446
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,652
and we're ready to announce
the 20 contestants.
447
00:20:50,654 --> 00:20:52,703
If your name is called,
please come on up
448
00:20:52,705 --> 00:20:54,537
to the Hobo Loco porch.
449
00:20:54,539 --> 00:20:56,786
Bethany Houseman!
450
00:20:56,788 --> 00:20:58,953
- There's Bethany!
- Hey, all right.
451
00:20:58,955 --> 00:21:00,350
Next up, Victor...
452
00:21:00,352 --> 00:21:02,825
"Nag-high."
453
00:21:02,827 --> 00:21:04,412
- Victor! My man.
- Yay!
454
00:21:04,414 --> 00:21:05,745
- All right.
- Next up:
455
00:21:05,747 --> 00:21:07,412
Frank Gallagher!
456
00:21:07,414 --> 00:21:09,245
Whoo! Yes! Where is he?
457
00:21:09,247 --> 00:21:10,287
- Hey, there he is.
- That's Frank.
458
00:21:10,289 --> 00:21:11,828
There he is!
459
00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:15,329
All right. Gloria Sweetland.
460
00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:18,017
Oh, she's got fans.
461
00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:19,703
Uh-oh.
462
00:21:19,705 --> 00:21:22,957
Mikey O'Shea!
463
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:24,245
- Mikey, Mikey, Mikey.
- Yeah.
464
00:21:24,247 --> 00:21:26,662
Yay!
465
00:21:26,664 --> 00:21:28,245
We got a competition now.
466
00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:29,911
- Yeah.
- Hola.
467
00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,579
Next up, Mrs. O'Coin.
468
00:21:32,581 --> 00:21:34,537
Right. There she is.
469
00:21:39,747 --> 00:21:41,870
Oh, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
470
00:21:41,872 --> 00:21:44,454
No means no, Audrey, all right?
471
00:21:44,456 --> 00:21:45,952
There you go.
472
00:21:47,497 --> 00:21:48,786
So what boring stuff are you
473
00:21:48,788 --> 00:21:50,704
gonna have me do with you today?
474
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,843
Uh, gotta buy a new phone charger,
475
00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:55,287
some socks,
476
00:21:55,289 --> 00:21:57,203
then go grocery shopping.
477
00:21:57,205 --> 00:21:58,831
Debs has us on rotation.
478
00:21:58,833 --> 00:22:00,120
It's my turn.
479
00:22:00,122 --> 00:22:02,463
I can help you get some healthy stuff.
480
00:22:02,465 --> 00:22:04,703
Do you know they actually
have produce aisles
481
00:22:04,705 --> 00:22:06,291
at the grocery store?
482
00:22:06,293 --> 00:22:08,203
Hmm, you don't say.
483
00:22:10,144 --> 00:22:12,995
This feels so good.
484
00:22:12,997 --> 00:22:14,537
It's been a long time since a boy's
485
00:22:14,539 --> 00:22:16,925
run his fingers through my hair.
486
00:22:18,997 --> 00:22:20,995
Hey, uh, how long you
been volunteering here?
487
00:22:20,997 --> 00:22:22,745
Uh, since beauty school.
488
00:22:22,747 --> 00:22:24,786
My Grandma Peggy used to live here.
489
00:22:24,788 --> 00:22:26,620
Hmm? What'd you say?
490
00:22:26,622 --> 00:22:28,805
I wasn't talking to you, Broom Hilda.
491
00:22:29,581 --> 00:22:31,495
I was telling Lip about
my Grandma Peggy.
492
00:22:31,497 --> 00:22:33,059
The whore?
493
00:22:33,788 --> 00:22:36,735
She fucked your boyfriend
one time. Get over it.
494
00:22:36,737 --> 00:22:38,722
You know, that shit shouldn't
matter once you're past 75.
495
00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:39,953
I will never forget.
496
00:22:39,955 --> 00:22:41,866
Okay, well, that's good.
You hold on to that.
497
00:22:41,868 --> 00:22:43,359
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
498
00:22:47,122 --> 00:22:49,457
You're smiling at me in that way.
499
00:22:50,497 --> 00:22:52,049
What way?
500
00:22:52,051 --> 00:22:53,869
That you like me.
501
00:22:53,871 --> 00:22:55,703
Well, it's kind of hard
not to when you're
502
00:22:55,705 --> 00:22:57,329
putting rollers in some lady's hair
503
00:22:57,331 --> 00:22:58,914
on your day off.
504
00:22:59,891 --> 00:23:01,329
- Oh, whoa.
- Audrey, stop.
505
00:23:01,331 --> 00:23:03,703
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Leave him alone.
506
00:23:03,705 --> 00:23:05,331
That's my dick.
507
00:23:20,997 --> 00:23:22,376
'Sup, small fry?
508
00:23:22,378 --> 00:23:23,822
Saw the sign in the window.
509
00:23:23,824 --> 00:23:25,537
"Help Wanted." I need a job.
510
00:23:25,539 --> 00:23:27,003
How old are you?
511
00:23:27,005 --> 00:23:28,010
Twenty-five.
512
00:23:29,247 --> 00:23:31,145
Yeah, come back when you're 31.
513
00:23:31,147 --> 00:23:32,703
Okay.
514
00:23:35,898 --> 00:23:38,485
What do you do with those
squeezed-out lemons?
515
00:23:38,487 --> 00:23:39,533
Whoo!
516
00:23:46,289 --> 00:23:49,037
Okay, congratulations, hobos.
517
00:23:49,039 --> 00:23:50,203
For the next week, you'll be sleeping
518
00:23:50,205 --> 00:23:52,412
in this backyard and
be required to drink
519
00:23:52,414 --> 00:23:55,287
16 ounces of Hobo Loco daily.
520
00:23:55,289 --> 00:23:57,454
Each day, you'll be
given timed challenges.
521
00:23:57,456 --> 00:23:59,287
Those of you who fail
to complete the tasks
522
00:23:59,289 --> 00:24:01,162
will be eliminated.
523
00:24:01,164 --> 00:24:03,503
You'll also need to
create brand awareness.
524
00:24:03,505 --> 00:24:07,078
You each get a phone and
two quarts of Hobo Loco.
525
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,995
Take lots of photos and videos
526
00:24:08,997 --> 00:24:11,330
of folks sampling your Hobo Loco.
527
00:24:11,332 --> 00:24:13,316
All right, who's ready
for the first challenge?
528
00:24:13,318 --> 00:24:15,410
- Yeah!
- Yay.
529
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,995
In the spirit of a true hobo,
each contestant will forage
530
00:24:17,997 --> 00:24:20,620
for their own bedding
to sleep on tonight.
531
00:24:20,622 --> 00:24:22,155
You will be judged
532
00:24:22,157 --> 00:24:25,294
on creativity and resourcefulness.
533
00:24:25,296 --> 00:24:28,162
You have one hour.
534
00:24:28,164 --> 00:24:30,411
All right, let's go out
there, start hobo-ing!
535
00:24:30,413 --> 00:24:31,703
Okay!
536
00:24:31,705 --> 00:24:33,329
- Frank!
- What are you doing?
537
00:24:33,331 --> 00:24:34,412
- Come on, Frank!
- Get off of me. No!
538
00:24:34,414 --> 00:24:36,316
Wait for me!
539
00:24:36,318 --> 00:24:37,911
Argh, matey.
540
00:24:37,913 --> 00:24:40,315
Popcorn shrimp is back.
541
00:24:41,331 --> 00:24:43,039
Fucking sh...
542
00:24:44,414 --> 00:24:46,745
Aye, aye, matey. Popcorn shrimp is back.
543
00:24:46,747 --> 00:24:49,703
Hey, butt pirate, need a
soda with your shrimp?
544
00:24:49,705 --> 00:24:51,133
Fuck you, douchebag!
545
00:24:52,539 --> 00:24:54,278
Fuck.
546
00:24:55,039 --> 00:24:57,037
Aye, aye, matey.
547
00:24:57,039 --> 00:24:59,971
Popcorn shrimp. Fuck.
548
00:25:01,164 --> 00:25:03,203
When did we plant grass in here?
549
00:25:03,205 --> 00:25:05,662
- That's mold.
- Ah, fuck.
550
00:25:05,664 --> 00:25:07,745
When'd you guys suddenly
get into cleaning?
551
00:25:07,747 --> 00:25:09,454
Makes Santiago happy.
552
00:25:09,456 --> 00:25:11,462
Yeah, we're doing stuff he likes.
553
00:25:12,955 --> 00:25:14,703
Hey, uh, Santiago said
554
00:25:14,705 --> 00:25:16,919
your girls are trying to murder him.
555
00:25:16,921 --> 00:25:18,245
What?
556
00:25:18,247 --> 00:25:19,627
Is that what they were
doing this morning?
557
00:25:19,629 --> 00:25:21,348
Wait, that's what they
were doing this morning?
558
00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:22,786
He called them las diablas...
559
00:25:22,788 --> 00:25:24,635
The devils.
560
00:25:24,637 --> 00:25:25,828
But he's okay with it,
because he doesn't want you
561
00:25:25,830 --> 00:25:27,162
to send him back.
562
00:25:27,164 --> 00:25:28,953
We're not gonna send him back.
563
00:25:28,955 --> 00:25:30,245
Why would the girls want to murder him?
564
00:25:30,247 --> 00:25:31,911
They're not trying to murder anyone.
565
00:25:31,913 --> 00:25:33,745
- They're just playing.
- Maybe they're jealous...
566
00:25:33,747 --> 00:25:35,412
Sibling rivalry.
567
00:25:35,414 --> 00:25:36,774
Maybe they're just not into having
568
00:25:36,776 --> 00:25:38,287
some random brown dude who
doesn't speak English
569
00:25:38,289 --> 00:25:39,461
living in their house.
570
00:25:39,463 --> 00:25:41,703
- They're brown too.
- Different shade of brown.
571
00:25:41,705 --> 00:25:43,620
Oh, that's crazy.
572
00:25:43,622 --> 00:25:45,495
Just as crazy as white people,
who are actually pink,
573
00:25:45,497 --> 00:25:47,245
thinking all black people
are the same color.
574
00:25:47,247 --> 00:25:50,703
Well, what about brownish white
people, like some Italians
575
00:25:50,705 --> 00:25:52,745
or Portuguese or Spanish?
576
00:25:52,747 --> 00:25:54,665
They can be as brown as Santiago.
577
00:25:54,667 --> 00:25:56,144
They're European brown.
578
00:25:56,146 --> 00:25:57,786
All right, I'm lost. What
are you talking about?
579
00:25:57,788 --> 00:25:59,287
Okay, it's real simple. Your girls
580
00:25:59,289 --> 00:26:01,120
are a different brown than Santiago,
581
00:26:01,122 --> 00:26:02,412
so they want his different brown
582
00:26:02,414 --> 00:26:03,786
to go home where he belongs
583
00:26:03,788 --> 00:26:05,245
and leave their brown to get
584
00:26:05,247 --> 00:26:06,995
all the good stuff from America.
585
00:26:06,997 --> 00:26:08,245
Are you saying our girls are racist?
586
00:26:08,247 --> 00:26:09,745
He's saying Amy and Gemma
587
00:26:09,747 --> 00:26:11,828
don't understand what's going on.
588
00:26:11,830 --> 00:26:14,537
What if they want to murder
Martina when she shows up?
589
00:26:14,539 --> 00:26:16,120
No one's murdering anyone.
590
00:26:16,122 --> 00:26:18,434
- Who's Martina?
- Santiago's sister.
591
00:26:18,436 --> 00:26:19,786
If she's the same color brown as him,
592
00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:21,182
they're gonna want to murder her.
593
00:26:21,184 --> 00:26:22,995
Oh, shut up, Tommy.
It'd like Kermit said.
594
00:26:22,997 --> 00:26:24,287
They're just jealous.
595
00:26:24,289 --> 00:26:25,786
We're gonna talk to them after school
596
00:26:25,788 --> 00:26:26,995
and tell them there's plenty
of good stuff in America
597
00:26:26,997 --> 00:26:28,287
for all the brown people
598
00:26:28,289 --> 00:26:29,412
so they don't have to end up in jail
599
00:26:29,414 --> 00:26:31,162
for murdering the different brown people
600
00:26:31,164 --> 00:26:32,531
or something like that, right?
601
00:26:37,414 --> 00:26:39,450
Hey, I recognize you.
602
00:26:39,452 --> 00:26:40,995
You're that crazy lady's ex-husband.
603
00:26:40,997 --> 00:26:43,620
- Yeah. Is she here?
- Gallaghers don't snitch.
604
00:26:43,622 --> 00:26:45,786
I got a phone app that
says she's in there.
605
00:26:45,788 --> 00:26:47,828
Oh, okay.
606
00:26:47,830 --> 00:26:49,786
Make yourself useful and get the door.
607
00:26:49,788 --> 00:26:52,370
All right.
608
00:26:52,372 --> 00:26:54,454
There you go.
609
00:26:56,622 --> 00:26:58,162
Cool if I look around?
610
00:26:58,164 --> 00:26:59,495
Knock yourself out.
611
00:26:59,497 --> 00:27:00,830
Might be upstairs.
612
00:27:02,957 --> 00:27:04,287
- Ingrid?
- You fall?
613
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:05,786
- No.
- Ingrid!
614
00:27:05,788 --> 00:27:07,662
Just making sure my embryos stay in.
615
00:27:07,664 --> 00:27:08,911
Where are you?
616
00:27:08,913 --> 00:27:10,245
I'm selling lemonade to make money
617
00:27:10,247 --> 00:27:11,927
so I can sleep indoors again.
618
00:27:11,929 --> 00:27:14,275
- Ingrid?
- What the hell are you doing?
619
00:27:14,277 --> 00:27:15,330
Vacuuming the lint
620
00:27:15,332 --> 00:27:17,245
out of the dryer vents
before they catch on fire.
621
00:27:17,247 --> 00:27:19,034
Ingrid, where...
622
00:27:19,036 --> 00:27:20,454
Ingrid.
623
00:27:20,456 --> 00:27:22,537
Ingy.
624
00:27:22,539 --> 00:27:24,786
- What are you doing here?
- Dr. Kwan called me.
625
00:27:24,788 --> 00:27:26,037
She told me you were pregnant.
626
00:27:26,039 --> 00:27:27,454
That's wonderful.
627
00:27:27,456 --> 00:27:29,412
Wonderful?
628
00:27:29,414 --> 00:27:31,283
You never wanted me to have children
629
00:27:31,285 --> 00:27:32,828
because of my condition.
630
00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:34,586
Well, now that you are pregnant,
631
00:27:34,588 --> 00:27:35,995
it's a beautiful miracle.
632
00:27:35,997 --> 00:27:38,703
- Let's do this together.
- What?
633
00:27:38,705 --> 00:27:40,577
They're not even yours.
634
00:27:40,579 --> 00:27:41,662
They're Frank's.
635
00:27:42,331 --> 00:27:44,495
Yes, but you just met him.
636
00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:46,604
You think he's really committed
to having more kids?
637
00:27:46,606 --> 00:27:48,620
Yes. Yes.
638
00:27:48,622 --> 00:27:50,454
But I'm the one who's
always been there for you,
639
00:27:50,456 --> 00:27:51,953
and I always will,
640
00:27:51,955 --> 00:27:54,078
so let's get you back on your meds
641
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,480
and then we'll go for a
checkup with Dr. Kwan.
642
00:27:56,482 --> 00:27:58,745
You're trying to trick me.
643
00:27:58,747 --> 00:28:01,286
You're gonna get me on that exam table
644
00:28:01,288 --> 00:28:04,245
and then have Kwan just
suck the embryos out of me!
645
00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,454
No, I won't. I won't, I promise.
646
00:28:06,456 --> 00:28:09,703
We'll keep two. We'll have twins.
Wouldn't that be great? Twins?
647
00:28:09,705 --> 00:28:11,953
Bullshit.
648
00:28:11,955 --> 00:28:13,745
You don't want my babies.
649
00:28:13,747 --> 00:28:16,393
Frank does. Frank loves me.
650
00:28:16,395 --> 00:28:19,109
He loves all six of my embryos.
651
00:28:20,186 --> 00:28:22,454
I have a phone patient now,
652
00:28:22,456 --> 00:28:24,280
so please go.
653
00:28:26,081 --> 00:28:28,495
Okay, okay.
654
00:28:30,645 --> 00:28:32,258
I'll check back in later.
655
00:28:39,337 --> 00:28:40,462
Hey, Debbie.
656
00:28:43,039 --> 00:28:44,537
Randy's wrong.
657
00:28:44,539 --> 00:28:47,402
Frank'll be committed to
my six babies, right?
658
00:28:47,404 --> 00:28:49,203
Not a chance.
659
00:28:58,955 --> 00:29:01,472
What are you on my ass for?
660
00:29:01,474 --> 00:29:03,710
Find your own bedding. This is my spot.
661
00:29:03,712 --> 00:29:05,620
I thought we could make a pact.
662
00:29:05,622 --> 00:29:07,329
Either one of us wins,
663
00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:09,953
we split the spokesman money, 50/50.
664
00:29:09,955 --> 00:29:12,417
You trying to hone in on my dough?
665
00:29:13,164 --> 00:29:15,961
Or am I trying to give
you half of mine, hmm?
666
00:29:17,456 --> 00:29:20,289
You're a crafty dude, Mikey O.
667
00:29:21,993 --> 00:29:24,243
I'm a lone wolf. Go.
668
00:29:25,872 --> 00:29:27,511
Suit yourself.
669
00:29:27,513 --> 00:29:29,078
- Suit yourself.
- Go!
670
00:29:35,622 --> 00:29:36,995
Jackpot.
671
00:29:43,622 --> 00:29:45,579
Hey, yo! What are you
doing in that truck?
672
00:29:45,581 --> 00:29:48,162
Get out of there!
673
00:29:49,414 --> 00:29:50,953
- Hey!
- I-I'm, uh...
674
00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,662
Get back here!
675
00:29:52,664 --> 00:29:54,786
Where the fuck do you
think you're going?
676
00:29:57,497 --> 00:29:58,903
That's what you get!
677
00:29:58,905 --> 00:30:00,859
Serves you right, asshole!
678
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,953
Yeah, you better keep running!
679
00:30:09,454 --> 00:30:11,537
So was it weird buying
actual green things
680
00:30:11,539 --> 00:30:12,848
at the grocery store?
681
00:30:12,850 --> 00:30:14,414
Hey, I've bought green things before.
682
00:30:14,416 --> 00:30:16,870
Guacamole, Mountain Dew,
683
00:30:16,872 --> 00:30:18,818
Jell-O,
684
00:30:18,820 --> 00:30:20,537
mint chocolate chip ice cream.
685
00:30:20,539 --> 00:30:22,287
You gonna list every crappy green thing?
686
00:30:22,289 --> 00:30:23,995
Yeah, I can go on. Shamrock shakes.
687
00:30:23,997 --> 00:30:25,456
Green eggs and ham.
688
00:30:29,555 --> 00:30:31,133
Xan?
689
00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:34,122
I didn't know where else to go.
690
00:30:37,705 --> 00:30:39,285
Aye, matey!
691
00:30:40,414 --> 00:30:42,579
Popcorn shrimp is back.
692
00:30:44,601 --> 00:30:47,703
Oh, my God. Check this out.
693
00:30:47,705 --> 00:30:49,055
Gallagher?
694
00:30:49,057 --> 00:30:51,414
Shit. What's up, Little Shins?
695
00:30:52,331 --> 00:30:54,246
What, you out here selling?
696
00:30:54,248 --> 00:30:55,373
Just popcorn shrimp.
697
00:30:58,872 --> 00:31:00,329
'Cause we took over this corner.
698
00:31:00,331 --> 00:31:02,153
I don't like no competition.
699
00:31:02,155 --> 00:31:04,412
Hey, you won't have any from me.
700
00:31:04,414 --> 00:31:05,911
So how do I know this whole
701
00:31:05,913 --> 00:31:07,509
gay pirate shit ain't some front?
702
00:31:07,511 --> 00:31:09,162
I've been out of the business for years.
703
00:31:09,164 --> 00:31:10,831
I'm just working at Captain Bob's now.
704
00:31:12,997 --> 00:31:16,454
I got trust issues, man. What can I say?
705
00:31:16,456 --> 00:31:19,291
I'm gonna have to shake your
Johnny Depp-looking ass down,
706
00:31:19,293 --> 00:31:22,870
- make sure you ain't got no stash.
- Yo, I swear to you, I don't.
707
00:31:22,872 --> 00:31:24,146
Shake him.
708
00:31:24,148 --> 00:31:26,703
Fuck. They're just shrimp!
709
00:31:29,872 --> 00:31:31,495
Come on, put me down, motherfucker!
710
00:31:31,497 --> 00:31:33,456
Watch the hat!
711
00:31:43,196 --> 00:31:44,236
So what happened?
712
00:31:44,238 --> 00:31:45,572
Xan, where's your mom?
713
00:31:46,383 --> 00:31:47,508
Don't know.
714
00:31:48,611 --> 00:31:50,077
Here.
715
00:31:50,079 --> 00:31:51,454
I'll make you something to eat.
716
00:31:51,456 --> 00:31:53,278
W-when's the last time you saw her?
717
00:31:54,039 --> 00:31:55,662
She went to get pizza.
718
00:31:55,664 --> 00:31:57,707
I waited in the motel.
719
00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:59,810
Watched TV and stuff.
720
00:31:59,812 --> 00:32:01,032
What, and she never came back?
721
00:32:07,747 --> 00:32:09,037
Here you go.
722
00:32:12,205 --> 00:32:13,879
Motel guy kicked me out.
723
00:32:13,881 --> 00:32:15,245
When did this happen?
724
00:32:15,247 --> 00:32:16,687
Couple days ago.
725
00:32:17,567 --> 00:32:19,498
Where have you been since then, Xan?
726
00:32:20,789 --> 00:32:22,868
Sometimes my mom works
at this truck stop.
727
00:32:22,870 --> 00:32:24,412
I just hung out there.
728
00:32:24,414 --> 00:32:26,162
A truck stop?
729
00:32:26,164 --> 00:32:27,985
There's a bunch of guys there, but...
730
00:32:29,039 --> 00:32:30,670
my mom never showed up.
731
00:32:30,672 --> 00:32:32,329
Wait, wait, wait, a bunch of guys?
732
00:32:32,331 --> 00:32:33,852
W-what does that mean?
They fucking touch you?
733
00:32:33,854 --> 00:32:35,244
- Chill out.
- No, I'm not gonna chill
734
00:32:35,246 --> 00:32:36,831
the fuck out. Her mother
ditched her again!
735
00:32:36,833 --> 00:32:38,861
Okay, well, you are scaring her.
736
00:32:39,913 --> 00:32:41,740
I'll give her a bath. I'll talk to her.
737
00:32:41,742 --> 00:32:43,370
I'll find out if anything happened.
738
00:32:43,372 --> 00:32:44,530
Okay?
739
00:32:45,414 --> 00:32:46,657
Okay.
740
00:32:52,164 --> 00:32:53,323
It's okay.
741
00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:55,474
I'm sorry, Xan.
742
00:33:00,921 --> 00:33:02,370
Lemonade!
743
00:33:02,372 --> 00:33:04,370
Lemonade! Get your fresh lemonade!
744
00:33:04,372 --> 00:33:06,872
Come get your lemonade.
745
00:33:10,872 --> 00:33:13,675
Let me have one for each one of my guys.
746
00:33:13,677 --> 00:33:15,705
That'll be five bucks.
747
00:33:17,247 --> 00:33:18,579
Keep the change.
748
00:33:18,581 --> 00:33:20,287
Thanks.
749
00:33:27,872 --> 00:33:29,828
How long are you guys gonna be out here?
750
00:33:29,830 --> 00:33:31,370
I don't know. A while.
751
00:33:31,372 --> 00:33:33,203
♪ I love who you are ♪
752
00:33:35,581 --> 00:33:38,579
♪ I love who you are ♪
753
00:33:41,414 --> 00:33:42,995
You're blocking my driveway.
754
00:33:42,997 --> 00:33:46,247
♪ Who you are ♪
755
00:33:47,373 --> 00:33:50,081
Lemonade! Get your fresh lemonade!
756
00:33:58,081 --> 00:33:59,786
Jesus.
757
00:33:59,788 --> 00:34:00,747
Want some lemonade?
758
00:34:10,289 --> 00:34:11,703
Just a Sprite.
759
00:34:11,705 --> 00:34:13,537
Last night fucked with me.
760
00:34:13,539 --> 00:34:15,037
Got a whole new attitude.
761
00:34:15,039 --> 00:34:16,911
- Great.
- Ah, perfect.
762
00:34:16,913 --> 00:34:19,412
Uh, Tina, I got table 41's food for you.
763
00:34:19,414 --> 00:34:20,703
Yeah, okay.
764
00:34:20,705 --> 00:34:23,662
Grilled ham and cheese... for you,
765
00:34:23,664 --> 00:34:25,620
and the tacos must be for you.
766
00:34:25,622 --> 00:34:28,537
- Enjoy.
- Yes. Thank you.
767
00:34:28,539 --> 00:34:29,828
- Margo.
- Good afternoon.
768
00:34:29,830 --> 00:34:31,287
What brings you here?
769
00:34:31,289 --> 00:34:33,746
Police got a 911 call last night
770
00:34:33,748 --> 00:34:35,789
about a possible robbery.
771
00:34:37,705 --> 00:34:39,495
A frantic woman called,
saying that three men
772
00:34:39,497 --> 00:34:41,178
were threatening her,
773
00:34:41,180 --> 00:34:43,329
and she said they left
but she was afraid
774
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:44,874
they were gonna come back.
775
00:34:45,705 --> 00:34:48,487
And when the police arrived,
the restaurant was closed,
776
00:34:48,489 --> 00:34:52,665
which is interesting, since
we're open 24 hours.
777
00:34:52,667 --> 00:34:54,277
Maybe they had the wrong address.
778
00:34:54,279 --> 00:34:55,432
Stop.
779
00:34:57,414 --> 00:34:58,745
I don't want your lies,
780
00:34:58,747 --> 00:35:00,509
and you smell like booze.
781
00:35:00,511 --> 00:35:02,828
I don't know if you're drunk now
782
00:35:02,830 --> 00:35:04,412
or if you just drank so much last night
783
00:35:04,414 --> 00:35:05,911
that it's just coming out of your pores.
784
00:35:05,913 --> 00:35:07,501
No, I'm sober.
785
00:35:07,503 --> 00:35:08,895
You're fired.
786
00:35:08,897 --> 00:35:10,453
What?
787
00:35:11,289 --> 00:35:13,162
Well, why?
788
00:35:13,164 --> 00:35:15,370
I-I haven't had a drink today, I swear.
789
00:35:15,372 --> 00:35:16,786
I've been getting calls
for the past month,
790
00:35:16,788 --> 00:35:19,911
from customers and
vendors and employees,
791
00:35:19,913 --> 00:35:22,979
saying that you had
been drunk on the job
792
00:35:22,981 --> 00:35:25,662
or asleep on the job
or angry on the job.
793
00:35:25,664 --> 00:35:27,703
Please don't fire me. Please.
794
00:35:27,705 --> 00:35:29,662
I-I've had a rough couple months,
795
00:35:29,664 --> 00:35:31,995
but-but I've turned a corner.
796
00:35:31,997 --> 00:35:33,828
People who say they've
"turned a corner"...
797
00:35:33,830 --> 00:35:35,537
They haven't turned a corner.
798
00:35:35,539 --> 00:35:37,826
They're just trying to
convince everyone they have.
799
00:35:38,872 --> 00:35:40,537
Please give me another chance.
800
00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:42,499
I promise I'll straighten out.
801
00:35:42,955 --> 00:35:44,162
Good.
802
00:35:44,164 --> 00:35:45,370
- You should.
- Yes.
803
00:35:45,372 --> 00:35:46,811
But not on my watch.
804
00:35:47,997 --> 00:35:49,690
You're acting manager now,
805
00:35:49,692 --> 00:35:52,632
so you make sure she cleans
her things up and leaves.
806
00:35:59,289 --> 00:36:01,194
Fuck all of you.
807
00:36:01,894 --> 00:36:03,911
Ratting me out.
808
00:36:05,788 --> 00:36:08,703
If it weren't for me, none
of you NA motherfuckers
809
00:36:08,705 --> 00:36:11,161
would even have a job. Mm-hmm.
810
00:36:11,163 --> 00:36:13,620
I wanted to fire you because you suck,
811
00:36:13,622 --> 00:36:14,995
but you called me, crying
812
00:36:14,997 --> 00:36:16,786
about your mother and her medical bills,
813
00:36:16,788 --> 00:36:18,755
and I let you keep your fucking job.
814
00:36:18,757 --> 00:36:19,828
Fiona, I think we should just...
815
00:36:19,830 --> 00:36:21,832
Shut the fuck up, Eliza.
816
00:36:21,834 --> 00:36:23,914
I'm leaving.
817
00:36:25,122 --> 00:36:27,114
Oh, and guess what.
818
00:36:27,116 --> 00:36:30,120
The cook rubbed his dick
on all of your meals.
819
00:36:30,122 --> 00:36:31,914
Yeah, enjoy.
820
00:36:34,788 --> 00:36:36,412
Can I get the check, please?
821
00:36:36,414 --> 00:36:38,537
Fuck this, matey.
822
00:36:42,747 --> 00:36:44,412
What happened to you?
823
00:36:44,414 --> 00:36:46,287
I got beat up, shoes thrown at me,
824
00:36:46,289 --> 00:36:48,454
I don't even know how many
milk shakes and beers.
825
00:36:48,456 --> 00:36:50,786
You poor baby.
826
00:36:50,788 --> 00:36:53,247
Come here. Come here.
827
00:36:55,539 --> 00:36:57,870
Um, yeah, I don't think
it's the best idea
828
00:36:57,872 --> 00:36:59,786
to be spinning signs out there.
829
00:36:59,788 --> 00:37:01,276
Got any other jobs in here?
830
00:37:01,705 --> 00:37:03,370
Are you kidding me?
831
00:37:03,372 --> 00:37:05,786
I got a folder full of
applicants wanting jobs:
832
00:37:05,788 --> 00:37:07,514
people with master's degrees,
833
00:37:07,516 --> 00:37:09,287
anthropologists and English majors
834
00:37:09,289 --> 00:37:11,245
and useless things like that.
835
00:37:11,247 --> 00:37:12,786
Wow. Oh, okay.
836
00:37:12,788 --> 00:37:15,194
Besides, you did a great
job out there today.
837
00:37:15,196 --> 00:37:17,370
Sales are up 20%.
838
00:37:17,372 --> 00:37:20,166
I'm ordering more popcorn
shrimp as we speak.
839
00:37:20,913 --> 00:37:23,405
So you'll be back tomorrow, right?
840
00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:26,031
Uh, yeah. Sure.
841
00:37:26,033 --> 00:37:27,412
Yeah.
842
00:37:27,414 --> 00:37:28,453
Yeah.
843
00:37:31,158 --> 00:37:33,844
Sweetie pies, why were you
hitting Santiago this morning?
844
00:37:33,846 --> 00:37:35,551
'Cause we don't like him.
845
00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:37,790
Why? Santiago's a good guy.
846
00:37:37,792 --> 00:37:38,874
He leaves now?
847
00:37:38,876 --> 00:37:40,891
No, baby, he doesn't leave now.
848
00:37:40,893 --> 00:37:42,100
He's staying here with us.
849
00:37:42,102 --> 00:37:43,797
He's our family.
850
00:37:47,289 --> 00:37:48,825
Oh, fuck.
851
00:37:48,827 --> 00:37:51,051
Girls, is this because Santiago's
852
00:37:51,053 --> 00:37:52,645
a different shade of brown than you?
853
00:37:53,456 --> 00:37:56,745
Or, girls, is this because
you're jealous of Santiago?
854
00:37:56,747 --> 00:37:58,412
We need to treat people
855
00:37:58,414 --> 00:37:59,828
how we want to be treated.
856
00:37:59,830 --> 00:38:01,329
There are people in this world
857
00:38:01,331 --> 00:38:04,153
who want to send brown people
like us back to Africa,
858
00:38:04,155 --> 00:38:05,835
but we won't stand for it, will we?
859
00:38:05,837 --> 00:38:08,380
No. So we also won't stand
860
00:38:08,382 --> 00:38:10,412
for them wanting to send
other kinds of brown people
861
00:38:10,414 --> 00:38:12,412
back to Central America.
862
00:38:12,414 --> 00:38:13,575
Get it?
863
00:38:14,955 --> 00:38:17,824
Let me try. Uh, snookums,
864
00:38:17,826 --> 00:38:19,703
I used to have sibling rivalry
865
00:38:19,705 --> 00:38:22,272
with the kids in my foster homes, okay?
866
00:38:22,274 --> 00:38:24,370
Especially this one boy, Joey Caccitore.
867
00:38:24,372 --> 00:38:26,287
He used to kiss up to my foster parents
868
00:38:26,289 --> 00:38:28,078
all the time, and they would give him
869
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,807
extra butterscotch pudding,
870
00:38:29,809 --> 00:38:32,100
and I thought that they loved him more,
871
00:38:32,102 --> 00:38:33,703
but in reality,
872
00:38:33,705 --> 00:38:35,995
they just hated all of us.
873
00:38:35,997 --> 00:38:38,105
- Kev, how is that helping?
- I don't know.
874
00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:39,953
I forget that's how the story ended.
875
00:38:39,955 --> 00:38:41,745
I'll get it.
876
00:38:41,747 --> 00:38:43,044
Talk about the brown people more.
877
00:38:43,046 --> 00:38:44,247
I think that was helping.
878
00:38:44,872 --> 00:38:47,329
Just because Santiago's here
doesn't mean we love you less,
879
00:38:47,331 --> 00:38:49,162
and just because he's different
880
00:38:49,164 --> 00:38:50,620
doesn't mean that we're
gonna get rid of him.
881
00:38:50,622 --> 00:38:51,995
- V.
- Yeah?
882
00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:54,078
- Look who it is.
- Hi.
883
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:55,328
Martina!
884
00:38:55,330 --> 00:38:56,391
Santiago!
885
00:39:10,289 --> 00:39:12,027
Only 30 seconds left.
886
00:39:12,029 --> 00:39:13,607
What the hell was that?
887
00:39:13,609 --> 00:39:15,828
Smacking me with a two
by four out there?
888
00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:17,620
That's the way we're
gonna play this thing?
889
00:39:17,622 --> 00:39:20,821
All's fair in love and hobo wars, Frank.
890
00:39:21,955 --> 00:39:24,203
Gauntlet thrown, my friend.
891
00:39:28,247 --> 00:39:30,162
Just got off the phone with the client.
892
00:39:30,164 --> 00:39:32,037
Four Greek councils have signed deals
893
00:39:32,039 --> 00:39:33,870
to make Hobo Loco their
featured alcoholic beverage
894
00:39:33,872 --> 00:39:35,537
at all their fraternity parties.
895
00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:36,884
- We're blowing up.
- Mm-hmm.
896
00:39:36,886 --> 00:39:38,911
The Insta' Story I just
posted less than an hour ago
897
00:39:38,913 --> 00:39:40,479
already has 100,000 viewers.
898
00:39:43,539 --> 00:39:45,263
Oh, sorry, Victor.
899
00:39:45,265 --> 00:39:47,043
You've been eliminated.
900
00:39:47,045 --> 00:39:48,454
And then there were 19.
901
00:39:48,456 --> 00:39:50,071
Cardboard amateur.
902
00:39:50,073 --> 00:39:51,620
Bubble wrap.
903
00:39:51,622 --> 00:39:52,992
Nice touch, Frank.
904
00:39:55,122 --> 00:39:58,245
Ooh, but not as clever
as insulation and tarp!
905
00:39:58,247 --> 00:39:59,995
- Ha!
- You are the winner
906
00:39:59,997 --> 00:40:01,870
- of this challenge, Mikey O.
- Yeah!
907
00:40:04,205 --> 00:40:05,287
All right, let's get out there
908
00:40:05,289 --> 00:40:07,370
for our next challenge:
909
00:40:07,372 --> 00:40:09,995
dumpster diving for your dinner.
910
00:40:09,997 --> 00:40:12,370
Who thinks they can bring
back the best meal?
911
00:40:12,372 --> 00:40:14,037
- I can!
- Well, let's see!
912
00:40:14,039 --> 00:40:15,703
Whoo! Go! Go! Go!
913
00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:17,412
- Whoo!
- One hour! Let's go!
914
00:40:17,414 --> 00:40:19,537
Don't forget to share your Hobo Loco
915
00:40:19,539 --> 00:40:21,495
on social media!
916
00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:25,392
We're gonna make the American hobo
917
00:40:25,394 --> 00:40:27,314
as famous as Joe Camel.
918
00:40:48,768 --> 00:40:50,351
You did good, coming here.
919
00:40:51,189 --> 00:40:52,957
You know, Lip's a smart guy.
920
00:40:53,531 --> 00:40:54,702
I like him.
921
00:40:55,424 --> 00:40:56,938
He'll figure this out.
922
00:40:58,405 --> 00:40:59,745
Yeah.
923
00:40:59,747 --> 00:41:02,155
But you can't be hanging
out at truck stops, right?
924
00:41:02,157 --> 00:41:04,002
It's a lot of creepy people out there.
925
00:41:05,976 --> 00:41:07,302
Look, if I saw...
926
00:41:08,269 --> 00:41:10,454
If I saw a little girl
on the street alone,
927
00:41:10,456 --> 00:41:12,136
I would want to protect her,
928
00:41:12,787 --> 00:41:14,289
make sure she was safe,
929
00:41:15,164 --> 00:41:16,703
but there are some bad people out there
930
00:41:16,705 --> 00:41:18,101
who'd want to hurt her,
931
00:41:18,668 --> 00:41:20,086
maybe say stuff
932
00:41:20,587 --> 00:41:22,005
or do stuff to her.
933
00:41:23,234 --> 00:41:24,996
If that ever happened,
934
00:41:24,998 --> 00:41:26,607
you can tell me about it.
935
00:41:28,322 --> 00:41:31,312
Hey, I'd listen to
anything you have to say,
936
00:41:31,314 --> 00:41:32,995
try and make you feel better,
937
00:41:32,997 --> 00:41:35,431
or maybe even beat the
shit out of that person.
938
00:41:35,433 --> 00:41:36,539
I don't know.
939
00:41:39,705 --> 00:41:40,995
Come on.
940
00:41:40,997 --> 00:41:42,078
Let's go raid Lip's closet
941
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,329
and find you something clean to wear.
942
00:41:44,767 --> 00:41:46,370
No, Sally, I didn't say
943
00:41:46,372 --> 00:41:48,995
that you were responsible
for Lou not remembering
944
00:41:48,997 --> 00:41:50,416
your birthday.
945
00:41:50,418 --> 00:41:52,995
I said you were responsible
946
00:41:52,997 --> 00:41:54,287
for the way you reacted
947
00:41:54,289 --> 00:41:56,195
to Lou not remembering your birthday.
948
00:41:56,197 --> 00:41:58,745
Guess who just got fucking fired!
949
00:42:00,355 --> 00:42:02,313
Are you shushing me in my own house?
950
00:42:02,315 --> 00:42:03,620
She's doing a phone therapy session
951
00:42:03,622 --> 00:42:05,120
with her client Sally.
952
00:42:05,122 --> 00:42:07,220
Oh. Hey, Sally.
953
00:42:07,222 --> 00:42:10,412
Sally, I got all the therapy you
could ever need right here!
954
00:42:10,414 --> 00:42:11,911
- Sorry, Sally...
- What happened?
955
00:42:11,913 --> 00:42:13,499
Why'd you get fired?
956
00:42:13,501 --> 00:42:15,537
Bullshit this, bullshit that,
957
00:42:15,539 --> 00:42:17,331
blah, blah, blah.
958
00:42:18,206 --> 00:42:19,662
So what's your plan now?
959
00:42:19,664 --> 00:42:21,517
Gonna hang around here,
drinking all day?
960
00:42:22,747 --> 00:42:24,987
Oh, no, I-I might eat something too.
961
00:42:25,712 --> 00:42:26,805
What about money?
962
00:42:27,581 --> 00:42:30,120
Could you stop whining about
money for two seconds, maybe?
963
00:42:33,955 --> 00:42:37,162
Brought some popcorn shrimp
back from my shitty-ass job.
964
00:42:37,164 --> 00:42:39,370
- Yum.
- I'm turning the furnace on.
965
00:42:39,372 --> 00:42:41,347
Gotta check for carbon monoxide leaks.
966
00:42:43,788 --> 00:42:45,943
You need a job, Fiona.
967
00:42:45,945 --> 00:42:47,620
Mm-hmm.
968
00:42:59,039 --> 00:43:00,995
What the hell?
969
00:43:26,247 --> 00:43:28,162
No! Shit!
970
00:43:29,955 --> 00:43:31,620
Come on.
971
00:43:37,664 --> 00:43:38,620
Fuck.
972
00:43:38,622 --> 00:43:39,995
Help!
973
00:43:39,997 --> 00:43:41,573
I'm stuck down here!
974
00:43:41,575 --> 00:43:43,995
I'm coming. I'm coming.
975
00:43:45,414 --> 00:43:47,380
I said I'm coming!
976
00:43:47,382 --> 00:43:48,870
So, uh, what I'm hearing you say, Sally,
977
00:43:48,872 --> 00:43:51,272
is that even though
you're still mad at Lou,
978
00:43:51,274 --> 00:43:53,786
you are willing to focus on
the good things he does.
979
00:43:53,788 --> 00:43:56,493
Sally, your therapist
is having a tea party
980
00:43:56,495 --> 00:43:57,828
with stuffed animals.
981
00:43:57,830 --> 00:43:59,662
Door's open.
982
00:43:59,664 --> 00:44:00,995
Yeah?
983
00:44:00,997 --> 00:44:02,454
We're looking for Ingrid.
984
00:44:02,456 --> 00:44:04,412
I'm her ex-husband. This is Dr. Kwan...
985
00:44:04,414 --> 00:44:06,571
Oh, I don't give a fuck who
you are. She's right here.
986
00:44:09,373 --> 00:44:10,537
Yeah, you know, Sally,
987
00:44:10,539 --> 00:44:12,037
we will have to continue this later
988
00:44:12,039 --> 00:44:13,830
same time next week.
989
00:44:17,498 --> 00:44:20,203
I cannot believe that you betrayed me
990
00:44:20,205 --> 00:44:21,828
and brought her here.
991
00:44:21,830 --> 00:44:23,784
Ingrid, Dr. Kwan explained to me
992
00:44:23,786 --> 00:44:25,662
that you will bleed out and die
993
00:44:25,664 --> 00:44:27,657
if you carry six babies to term.
994
00:44:27,659 --> 00:44:30,370
Then why did you implant
all those embryos in me?
995
00:44:30,372 --> 00:44:31,911
Because there was only
a five percent chance
996
00:44:31,913 --> 00:44:33,870
of any of them surviving implantation
997
00:44:33,872 --> 00:44:35,645
in your shriveled-up uterus.
998
00:44:35,647 --> 00:44:38,007
So what you're saying is,
I'm a medical miracle?
999
00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:39,537
You'll be a medical tragedy
1000
00:44:39,539 --> 00:44:41,612
if you carry all six of
those fetuses to term.
1001
00:44:41,614 --> 00:44:43,703
I am willing to take my chances.
1002
00:44:43,705 --> 00:44:45,162
Ingrid, we are gonna go
to Dr. Kwan's office.
1003
00:44:45,164 --> 00:44:46,469
- No.
- She is gonna do
1004
00:44:46,471 --> 00:44:47,828
- the procedure, and then...
- No, no, no, no.
1005
00:44:47,830 --> 00:44:49,078
...I will take you home.
1006
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:50,505
No! Get out of my house!
1007
00:44:50,507 --> 00:44:52,953
Bitch, if you don't come
to my office right now,
1008
00:44:52,955 --> 00:44:55,440
I will go North Korean on you
and reach into your vagina
1009
00:44:55,442 --> 00:44:57,911
and rip those embryos out
of you with my bare hands!
1010
00:44:57,913 --> 00:44:59,953
Doctor, please!
1011
00:44:59,955 --> 00:45:01,995
She is trying to kill my babies!
1012
00:45:03,913 --> 00:45:05,911
Ingrid?
1013
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,870
Ingrid? Oh, crap.
1014
00:45:08,872 --> 00:45:10,434
Ingy.
1015
00:45:12,164 --> 00:45:14,745
Ingrid? Open this door!
1016
00:45:14,747 --> 00:45:16,220
- Please.
- Hello?
1017
00:45:16,222 --> 00:45:17,565
- Is somebody down here?
- Please!
1018
00:45:17,567 --> 00:45:19,454
- I'm trapped!
- Ingrid.
1019
00:45:19,456 --> 00:45:22,106
Well, we all feel trapped at some point.
1020
00:45:22,108 --> 00:45:23,786
Uh, do you want to talk about it?
1021
00:45:23,788 --> 00:45:26,620
No, you crazy bitch! It's Debbie!
1022
00:45:26,622 --> 00:45:29,162
I need to get out of here
and turn off the gas
1023
00:45:29,164 --> 00:45:30,579
before the house blows up!
1024
00:45:30,581 --> 00:45:31,878
Debbie?
1025
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:33,896
Debbie?
1026
00:45:33,898 --> 00:45:34,911
Help!
1027
00:45:34,913 --> 00:45:36,473
Help!
1028
00:45:37,039 --> 00:45:38,703
Somebody help!
1029
00:45:38,705 --> 00:45:39,953
Debbie?
1030
00:45:39,955 --> 00:45:40,911
Kelly?
1031
00:45:44,788 --> 00:45:46,364
My pants are stuck.
1032
00:45:46,366 --> 00:45:47,620
Can you take them off?
1033
00:45:47,622 --> 00:45:48,890
What?
1034
00:45:48,892 --> 00:45:51,120
Just take off your pants!
1035
00:45:51,122 --> 00:45:53,162
Oh.
1036
00:45:55,955 --> 00:45:57,539
Uh...
1037
00:46:08,664 --> 00:46:09,953
Oh, my God.
1038
00:46:14,331 --> 00:46:16,472
Nice ass.
1039
00:46:18,581 --> 00:46:19,953
Let's get that gas turned off.
1040
00:46:29,331 --> 00:46:32,259
Thank you for dinner,
fancy French restaurant.
1041
00:46:32,261 --> 00:46:33,786
Oh, yeah!
1042
00:46:33,788 --> 00:46:36,081
Any escargots in here?
1043
00:46:38,997 --> 00:46:40,162
Whoa! Hey!
1044
00:46:40,164 --> 00:46:42,370
Come on! Hey!
1045
00:46:42,372 --> 00:46:45,620
All's fair, Mikey O. All's fair.
1046
00:46:45,622 --> 00:46:47,162
Come on, now!
1047
00:46:47,164 --> 00:46:49,662
Come on! Aww!
1048
00:46:55,273 --> 00:46:56,662
♪ Boredom, boredom, boredom, boredom ♪
1049
00:46:56,664 --> 00:46:58,620
♪ Boredom, boredom, boredom ♪
1050
00:46:58,622 --> 00:47:00,786
♪ Boy my bedroom floor
is a cereal burial... ♪
1051
00:47:00,788 --> 00:47:02,620
What's going on, fellas?
1052
00:47:02,622 --> 00:47:04,454
Nothing. Just selling lemonade.
1053
00:47:04,456 --> 00:47:06,373
Neighbor said there was a disturbance.
1054
00:47:06,375 --> 00:47:07,812
Yeah, Officer, I called. That was me.
1055
00:47:07,814 --> 00:47:09,120
Seems to be the problem?
1056
00:47:09,122 --> 00:47:10,553
These kids are up to no good.
1057
00:47:10,555 --> 00:47:12,495
They are making way
too much noise, okay?
1058
00:47:12,497 --> 00:47:14,329
They are getting water on my car.
1059
00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:16,037
Noise? That's Tyler the Creator.
1060
00:47:16,039 --> 00:47:17,440
They don't belong here, sir.
1061
00:47:17,442 --> 00:47:18,986
We live two streets over.
1062
00:47:18,988 --> 00:47:20,199
Well, I mean, do you have a-a permit
1063
00:47:20,201 --> 00:47:21,686
to operate a food stand
in front of my house?
1064
00:47:21,688 --> 00:47:23,037
Ask them, sir. Do they?
1065
00:47:23,039 --> 00:47:24,831
You need a permit to sell lemonade?
1066
00:47:28,209 --> 00:47:30,647
Eighty-three-ten will respond.
1067
00:47:30,649 --> 00:47:32,745
Move the lemonade stand down the street
1068
00:47:32,747 --> 00:47:34,078
and turn down the music.
1069
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,355
Wait, sir, that's it?
1070
00:47:35,357 --> 00:47:37,201
What do you want me to do, lady?
1071
00:47:37,203 --> 00:47:38,620
Shut them down.
1072
00:47:38,622 --> 00:47:40,424
I just got my car washed.
1073
00:47:42,373 --> 00:47:44,329
You know what?
1074
00:47:44,331 --> 00:47:45,703
Looks like y'all made enough money.
1075
00:47:45,705 --> 00:47:47,192
Why don't you close up shop for the day?
1076
00:47:47,194 --> 00:47:48,526
What? Why?
1077
00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:51,287
Just do it.
1078
00:47:51,289 --> 00:47:53,454
It's not worth the aggravation.
1079
00:47:53,456 --> 00:47:54,763
Here's 20 bucks.
1080
00:47:56,164 --> 00:47:58,078
Get yourself a permit.
1081
00:48:02,010 --> 00:48:04,055
♪ Got some cars I can handle ♪
1082
00:48:04,057 --> 00:48:05,037
♪ But nowhere for performance... ♪
1083
00:48:05,039 --> 00:48:07,329
Well, you heard the man.
Shut the shit down.
1084
00:48:07,331 --> 00:48:09,579
♪ But I hate eating solo ♪
1085
00:48:09,581 --> 00:48:11,495
♪ Need someone we can
loiter in parking lots ♪
1086
00:48:11,497 --> 00:48:14,037
♪ And sunsets at the border, yeah ♪
1087
00:48:14,039 --> 00:48:16,537
♪ Ringy-dingy-dong, I can't be alone ♪
1088
00:48:16,539 --> 00:48:17,870
♪ I been starting to feel... ♪
1089
00:48:34,966 --> 00:48:36,288
This is great.
1090
00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:39,775
Big family dinner. This
is exactly what I wanted.
1091
00:48:40,735 --> 00:48:42,765
Are you enjoying the food, Martina?
1092
00:48:42,767 --> 00:48:45,334
Better than what they had
in the holding cell.
1093
00:48:45,336 --> 00:48:46,620
Oh.
1094
00:48:46,622 --> 00:48:48,287
I am so sorry they put you there.
1095
00:48:48,289 --> 00:48:50,378
This is not what
America's normally like.
1096
00:48:51,443 --> 00:48:52,579
I thought you were supposed to be
1097
00:48:52,581 --> 00:48:54,081
the greatest country in the world.
1098
00:48:55,132 --> 00:48:57,007
You caught us at a bad time.
1099
00:48:59,206 --> 00:49:00,425
_
1100
00:49:00,559 --> 00:49:01,659
_
1101
00:49:01,765 --> 00:49:02,646
_
1102
00:49:02,733 --> 00:49:04,439
_
1103
00:49:06,414 --> 00:49:09,078
Hey, what do you say we,
um, finish up dinner
1104
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:10,786
and watch some TV? Hmm?
1105
00:49:10,788 --> 00:49:13,558
You guys have Pawn Stars in Guatemala?
1106
00:49:16,660 --> 00:49:19,236
Uh, we cannot stay after dinner.
1107
00:49:19,238 --> 00:49:20,377
We have to go back.
1108
00:49:21,539 --> 00:49:23,911
Back? To the detention center?
1109
00:49:23,913 --> 00:49:25,662
To Guatemala.
1110
00:49:25,664 --> 00:49:27,644
We go tonight with our uncle.
1111
00:49:27,646 --> 00:49:30,081
Your uncle? Jose Gomez?
1112
00:49:31,664 --> 00:49:33,786
Our father was deported,
so we have to go back
1113
00:49:33,788 --> 00:49:35,006
to be with him.
1114
00:49:35,008 --> 00:49:37,821
Deported? I'm so sorry.
1115
00:49:37,823 --> 00:49:40,585
Sí. Thank you for
1116
00:49:40,587 --> 00:49:42,370
offering to foster us,
1117
00:49:42,372 --> 00:49:44,828
but your country no longer wants
1118
00:49:44,830 --> 00:49:47,828
the tired and poor, yearning to be free,
1119
00:49:47,830 --> 00:49:51,409
like the big green lady in
the New York Harbor says.
1120
00:49:51,411 --> 00:49:52,649
Big green lady?
1121
00:49:52,651 --> 00:49:54,070
Statue of Liberty.
1122
00:50:02,547 --> 00:50:04,140
She's been napping a long time.
1123
00:50:04,702 --> 00:50:06,535
Probably hasn't slept in days.
1124
00:50:07,390 --> 00:50:09,181
Yeah, you know, you can go if you want.
1125
00:50:10,081 --> 00:50:11,569
Are you giving me permission?
1126
00:50:11,571 --> 00:50:12,482
No.
1127
00:50:12,484 --> 00:50:14,662
No, I just mean
1128
00:50:14,664 --> 00:50:16,828
if this is too much to deal with,
1129
00:50:16,830 --> 00:50:18,072
you know, I understand.
1130
00:50:18,074 --> 00:50:20,414
You really think I do
anything I don't want to do?
1131
00:50:24,918 --> 00:50:27,850
No, probably not.
1132
00:50:27,852 --> 00:50:29,081
Damn right.
1133
00:50:38,622 --> 00:50:39,827
Got you. Yes.
1134
00:50:42,413 --> 00:50:43,995
Hi.
1135
00:50:43,997 --> 00:50:45,662
Hey, buddy. What's up?
1136
00:50:45,664 --> 00:50:47,120
Some lady called the cops on me.
1137
00:50:47,122 --> 00:50:48,799
What'd you do?
1138
00:50:48,801 --> 00:50:50,973
Nothing, just selling lemonade
in front of her house.
1139
00:50:50,975 --> 00:50:54,012
Said we got water on her fancy car.
1140
00:51:00,003 --> 00:51:01,329
What lady?
1141
00:51:01,331 --> 00:51:02,703
Over on Bundy.
1142
00:51:02,705 --> 00:51:05,078
The one who bought Mr. Reeback's
house and redid it?
1143
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,287
Uh-huh.
1144
00:51:07,289 --> 00:51:08,537
Who were you with?
1145
00:51:08,539 --> 00:51:09,821
Some friends from school,
1146
00:51:09,823 --> 00:51:11,120
Todd and De-shawn.
1147
00:51:11,122 --> 00:51:12,495
Black kids?
1148
00:51:12,497 --> 00:51:13,635
Yeah.
1149
00:51:14,562 --> 00:51:16,206
Motherfucker.
1150
00:51:18,498 --> 00:51:19,936
Yo!
1151
00:51:25,914 --> 00:51:28,287
We're not gonna eat this stuff, right?
1152
00:51:28,289 --> 00:51:29,662
Oh, no, hell no.
1153
00:51:29,664 --> 00:51:31,203
We're gonna Fear Factor this shit.
1154
00:51:31,205 --> 00:51:32,329
I made it!
1155
00:51:32,331 --> 00:51:33,690
I made it.
1156
00:51:33,692 --> 00:51:35,789
Shit. Damn it.
1157
00:51:37,997 --> 00:51:40,329
Can't keep this player
from the game, Frank.
1158
00:51:40,331 --> 00:51:41,412
How did you get out?
1159
00:51:41,414 --> 00:51:43,245
Garbage truck came by.
1160
00:51:43,247 --> 00:51:45,370
Dumped me in the back. It was rough,
1161
00:51:45,372 --> 00:51:47,370
but a pile of old Big
Macs broke my fall.
1162
00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:49,079
All right, welcome back.
1163
00:51:49,081 --> 00:51:50,495
We'll now go around and take our pick
1164
00:51:50,497 --> 00:51:53,830
for the dumpster dive competition.
1165
00:51:55,164 --> 00:51:56,397
Sushi, huh?
1166
00:51:56,399 --> 00:51:57,607
Brave choice.
1167
00:52:22,872 --> 00:52:24,370
Hey!
1168
00:52:24,372 --> 00:52:26,790
You know that new bitch over on Bundy?
1169
00:52:26,792 --> 00:52:29,870
Yeah, she pulled some racist
shit on my brother Liam,
1170
00:52:29,872 --> 00:52:31,579
so block party. Come on.
1171
00:52:37,830 --> 00:52:39,870
Hey, Mr. Jackson. We're throwing
1172
00:52:39,872 --> 00:52:41,995
a new racist neighbor a welcome party.
1173
00:52:41,997 --> 00:52:43,454
Bring your pit bull.
1174
00:52:43,456 --> 00:52:45,203
Come on, boy. Let's go.
1175
00:52:59,643 --> 00:53:01,329
Welcome to the South Side, bitch!
1176
00:53:08,289 --> 00:53:09,893
You sure you want to do this?
1177
00:53:10,664 --> 00:53:12,747
Sí.
1178
00:53:17,292 --> 00:53:18,559
_
1179
00:53:27,193 --> 00:53:28,292
Hello.
1180
00:53:28,294 --> 00:53:30,708
Uncle Jose, thank you
so much for coming.
1181
00:53:31,460 --> 00:53:32,833
- How are you?
- Good.
1182
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:37,040
_
1183
00:53:50,327 --> 00:53:52,662
I have no idea what he said.
1184
00:53:52,664 --> 00:53:54,955
It was good. He smiled.
1185
00:53:58,289 --> 00:53:59,952
There goes my son.
1186
00:54:07,705 --> 00:54:09,953
I have called the police.
1187
00:54:11,497 --> 00:54:14,454
They are on their way.
1188
00:54:14,456 --> 00:54:16,953
You are disturbing the peace.
1189
00:54:16,955 --> 00:54:19,078
Hey, lady.
1190
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,662
That was my brother with
the lemonade stand.
1191
00:54:21,664 --> 00:54:23,412
- What?
- That's right.
1192
00:54:23,414 --> 00:54:24,931
I got a black brother.
1193
00:54:27,289 --> 00:54:29,078
What? That's why you didn't want him
1194
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:30,828
near your house, right?
1195
00:54:30,830 --> 00:54:32,365
'Cause he's black?
1196
00:54:33,164 --> 00:54:35,870
Okay, you need to go home.
1197
00:54:35,872 --> 00:54:37,911
Some of us have jobs.
1198
00:54:37,913 --> 00:54:40,360
You know, I lived in this
neighborhood my whole life.
1199
00:54:41,830 --> 00:54:44,927
Kids have always sold
lemonade right here.
1200
00:54:45,705 --> 00:54:48,662
Black kids, white kids,
1201
00:54:48,664 --> 00:54:51,120
Russian kids, Mexican kids.
1202
00:54:51,122 --> 00:54:53,828
Would you get away from my fence?
1203
00:54:53,830 --> 00:54:58,537
Nobody ever had a problem
with lemonade stands
1204
00:54:58,539 --> 00:55:01,995
until all of you bougie,
1205
00:55:01,997 --> 00:55:03,995
yoga-loving,
1206
00:55:03,997 --> 00:55:06,162
latte-sipping,
1207
00:55:06,164 --> 00:55:11,037
ankle tattoo-wearing, racist assholes
1208
00:55:11,039 --> 00:55:13,373
moved into our neighborhood,
so your fence?
1209
00:55:14,581 --> 00:55:16,495
Fuck your fence.
1210
00:55:26,497 --> 00:55:28,745
Ah, shit!
1211
00:55:28,747 --> 00:55:29,811
Hey!
1212
00:55:38,417 --> 00:55:44,417
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
1213
00:56:14,021 --> 00:56:16,412
Video of the food challenge went viral.
1214
00:56:16,414 --> 00:56:18,412
Over 400,000 views.
1215
00:56:18,414 --> 00:56:21,003
People are doing something
called the "Hobo Dragon."
1216
00:56:26,444 --> 00:56:29,059
We are totally getting
promoted after this.
1217
00:56:30,039 --> 00:56:32,037
Another alcohol poisoning inside?
1218
00:56:32,039 --> 00:56:33,828
Yeah, fourth one today.
82369
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