All language subtitles for Scrubs s09e05 Our Mysteries.eng

But you'll always carry
a piece of me with you.

I'll be here
and I'll be here.

My stomach?
Well, I would have touched your heart,

But I did that
to another female student,

And it resulted in me
having to watch

A 4-hour video called
"boundaries." so teacher evaluations are due,

And I am going to use gold stars
and pony stickers for yours.

lucy, that's sweet,

But I don't care about
those silly evaluations.

yes! Lucy's in the bag.

But while I went out of my way
to connect with these kids,

Dr. Cox had
a different approach.

All right then,
you gaggle of mini murderers,

I am going to make these
evaluations very easy for you.

Here are some adjectives that
describe my teaching style--

"abusive," "humiliating,"
"tyrannical" and "buttery."

Why "buttery"?

Because I don't care
what you write. Moving on.

It is time for your final
practical exam of the quarter--

Learning how to draw blood
from an actual human being.

Sadly, most of you will pass,

But there are one or two of you
out there

Who will botch this miserably,

Proving once and for all
that you don't belong here.

And oh, my god.

it's like
it's christmas eve,

And one of you is
just a big box of failure

Waiting to be unwrapped.

I want to open ya.
I want to open ya so bad,

But no, I'm gonna wait,

Because the waiting makes it
so much sweeter.

I'll see you tomorrow.

"your stupidity is
so intense,

It's burning me in the face."

Oh, dr. Cox is
on a tear today.

I bet you 5 bucks
this kid cries. Nah, he's not a crier.

He's the kind of guy who eats
to make the sad go away. Is it wrong that

Is sex and other people's pain?

Don't forget
our hatred of art.

Oh, yeah, art's the worst.
Re he comes.

I win.

But I actually cheated.

I had inside info.

I slept with that dude
during my fatty phase.

Powerful stuff, huh?

Six weeks ago,

I wrote one word on the board--

"medicine."

So what's the definition?

Well, if you believe
the silly dictionary,

It says that "it's the science
of health maintenance

And the prevention of disease."

Snore.

I think we're all dictionaries.

We all edit the user-generated
encyclopedias...

Of our hearts.

Those balloons were supposed to
fall at the end of my speech.

Okay, in front of you are
teacher evaluations.

Be honest.
I'm trying to mold your minds,

Not win some sort of
popularity contest.

Sweet! A coupon
for $2 off fro-yo!

Yeah, and, uh, tell 'em
dr. D. Sent you.

You'll get a little extra whip.

Great last class, buddy.

It's your last day. What do you want to do?
I don't know, turk. I've left so many times.

I've come back so many times.
Even I'm confused.

I think we should just sit
this one out, old friend.

I'm-a need a minute.

Turk, no.

Oh, hey, luce,
guess what I see.

Don't say it.
I see dead people.

Yep, 15th time's the charm.

Hey, dr. Cox. I was
just practicing for your exam.

Taking blood is so easy.

Dynamite work. But here's
the thing there--

You're going to have to do this
on a person who still has blood

And can feel pain,
not like this lump of flesh.

did you just flick
that cadaver's ear?

Yes.
I come down here

To both increase
my hand strength and relax.

Some people go on retreats.
I flick the dead.

huh.

Huh. That is so awesome.

The teacher evaluations
were in.

Okay.

What's it say, turk?
I can't look.

Dude, you're number one.
Yes! That's the part I wanted!

This reminds me of when I was
In my theater camp's production of "oliver."

I still remember my one line.

no, thank you. I don't like soup.
Hmm.

Hey, perry, don't you want
to see where you're ranked?

I'm quite sure I'm last.
I could not care less.

Don't feel bad, perry.
Maybe you can go find some solace

In one of your gym workouts.
Maybe.

ow!

I don't know how, but that
knocked the wind out of me.

"mesmerizing." "hilarious."

"if you only take one class
this year, make it dr. D.'s.

It's the nonstop thrill ride
of the quarter."

You know, perry, you might want
To watch a video called "boundaries,"

Especially the section on roughhousing.
Suck it up, mary lou.

You cannot get under my skin
today,

Not with reviews like these.

Wow.

Oh, wrong. Really wrong.

And what is this?
What is what?

"needy," "desperate,"

"light on medical knowledge,
heavy on broadway trivia."

He wrote that I don't care
about teaching

And I just want people
to like me.

I'm a fool.

I know. It's beautiful.

God, I wish these things
weren't anonymous.

I'd like to take this student
out and buy him a steak.

He nailed it. All the best.

Turk, am I needy?

No.
Tell me a hundred times.

Thanks for letting me
practice on you, dr. D.

I don't know why I'm having such
a hard time with this procedure.

How could anybody hate me? I'm
literally bleeding for you guys.

Ow! That's a muscle.
Aim for the blue lines.

Sorry. I don't knowate me? I'm
why I can't get this.

I used to have a problem
with the same thing,

But then I realized

You just gotta pretend
the needle's your friend.

Be careful, though. I told
that to a med student once,

And he became a heroin addict.
But just pretend the needle's

Your buddy and you two are
doing something you love to do.

Like roller-skating?

I would have said ice dancing,
but to each their own.

here goes nothin'.

I did it!

Dr. D., thanks
for always helping me

Through the tough stuff.
That's okay. Maybe you should practice

On, like, a student partner
or something,

Preferably someone who can't feel pain.

Ooh, like the incredible hulk.

The hulk can feel pain, turk.
Also, lasers hurt him.

Dude, I hope you paged me
'cause you came to your senses

And realized that we need
to do one last eagle.

Eagles are played-out, turk.

How dare you. You and I are gonna
find the kid that torched me.

You said you wanted to do
something this last week.

This is gonna be fun.

We'll be like
the interracial hardy boys.

Look. A clue--

A piece
of old man peterson's overalls.

That means he's the phantom
of cat scan island.

Dad's gonna be so proud of us,
black adopted brother.

All right, I'm in.

But you're buying me
a magnifying glass.

I got you a present.
What is it?

I don't know. It came out
of the guy in room 12.

That's sweet.
Aw. It's still warm.

Oh, god. Here's sunny.
Who's sunny?

Sunny is a wicker basket
of adorable kittens

Sliding down a shimmering
rainbow. Head for the hills.

Oh, hi, guys!
It's too late. If she talks to me, shoot me.

Denise, is this drew?

you said he was
handsome, but wow!

What's happening?
I can't believe denise found that special someone.

When I first met her,
I thought, this woman is

Probably going to die alone,
but here she is and here you are

And here I am to ask you guys
if you'd like to go

On a double date with me and keyshawn.
I guess.

yes!
We're not doing that.

Of course not.
I was gonna say yes,

Then call her at the last
minute, tell her I'm sick,

Then change my cell phone
number. Yeah, I owe her that.

She is my closest female friend.
Hmm.

Cole, will you please be my
blood buddy for dr. Cox's exam?

Mm, sorry, baby, no can do.

Doc says I got tiny
baby veins--something to do

With my moms eating blowfish
in the third tri-mo.

besides, I've
seen you take blood before,

And you suck at it.

Somebody help me!

I have a family!

He's dealt with worse.

He came to this country
on a boat made of tires.

okay.

I guess I am gonna have
to break out the big guns.

No blood, no sex.

turk and I were
hard at work

Trying to solve the mystery
of the feelings hurter.

Now do you see how the r's
in this evaluation form

Are the same as in this test
from three months ago?

Dude, I totally see it.

Hello, barry friedman.

Hacking into
the med school files right now.

You can hack?
No, I have a password. It just sounded cooler.

We're in.

Tell me a story, turk.

Barry friedman--
lives in the east dorms.

Okay, buckle up, barr.
We're coming for you.

Which way is east?

Oh, hey!

So... What's the plan
for tonight?

Drew doesn't want to go.
Bummer. Rain check?

Yeah. Definitely.

Yes! Look forward to it.

No. Not happening.

Oh.

How beautifully ironic

That the queen
of sensible slacks

Is not even wearing the pants
in her very own relationship.

What are you talking about?
Now I saw how fast drew put the kibosh

On that double-dating idea.

Missy, you realize
you're shoulder-deep

In that inevitable turf war
that defines modern coupledom.

And psst!

he... Is... Winning.

and make
no mistake about it.

Early victories
are ha--huge.

In our first month dating,
jordan made me give up tomatoes,

Speaking to my mother
and my ponytail.

Honest to god, I can
still feel it some mornings.

That's not the way it is
with drew and me.

I see your point. Because you
are so very different

From every other couple

In the history
of doomed relationships.

Note to self--
they're different.

I think this is
barry friedman's room.

23, right?
Turk, I can see the number 23 from here.

We don't need that
stupid magnifying glass.

Damn. Why didn't I get
one of those for me?

You've got to be careful when
you're working a mystery...

Dr. Kelso!

Well, well.

Come in or shut the door.

You're lettin' all the funk out.

Because you might not like
what you find...

Hey, I know you were thinking
of chinese food tonight,

But I want to do italian.
Okay.

Great.

Perfect.

Oh. Mm.

Especially if what you discover

Is that you're still
totally lost.

Come on, girl, do it!

Make me bleed!

I can't do it.

I'm never gonna be able
to do it.

There's my big box
of failure.

Aw, santa, you got my letters,
you fat bastard.

oh, crap.

Dr. Kelso, why are you here?

This is my sex pad.

And what have you done
with barry friedman?

He dropped out of med school
two weeks after it started.

I've been using his dorm room
as my love nest.

I can't get with a gal

In the same bed
I shared with enid.

Gives me the softies.

Wow, that's disgusting.
Ugh. Threw up in my mouth a little.

Well, looks like
we hit a dead end.

Oh, dear god, newbie.

Don't tell me you're still
looking for the visionary

Who gave you the bad review.
Yes, I am.

I know you don't give a damn
about what students think,

But I want them to remember me
as someone who was nurturing.

So let me get this straight.

You're going to find this kid...
Then what?

I'm gonna change his mind.
Excellent use of your time.

Forget him.

Turk, gather all the students
in the lecture hall.

All of 'em?

Just lure them there with
something young people like,

Like pizza or rob schneider.

So pizza?

Sure.
Okay.

Dr. D.,

I really need you to be
my blood buddy for the exam.

Lucy, I'm glad that I make you
feel comfortable, but--

If you could just help me
get through this one,

I know next time
I can do it on my own. It's just that I'm working

A-and I'm this close to crackin'
this mother wide open.

okay, I know dr. D.
Can't resist my puppy dog look.

oh, crap!
She's puppy dogging me.

Be strong.

Thank you.

We're going to dinner
with sunny and keyshawn.

I thought you didn't want to go.
Well, now I do.

Wear your black shirt
and dial the hair gel back.

You're not doing the weather
on channel 7.

So who gave dr. Dorian

A negative review?

Many of you had motives.

Mary, there was
the unfortunate incident

Where I called you "mark" for
the first part of the quarter.

But now I'm a major supporter
of your softball team,

So we worked that out.

Jeremy,
of course I suspected you.

You take a little too long
to laugh at my jokes.

But I forgot to account
for your interpreter.

I apologize

For not giving you
a proper hearing.

Thank you, jeremy.

Dr. Turk and I are going to
keep you in here all day

Until whomever gave me
the negative review

Steps forward.

Who amongst you has the courage
to step forward and say,

"hey, I am the coward!"

Oh, dear lord, newbie.

It was me.

perry?

Hey, why would you
do that to me?

Because, as always,
pushing your buttons amuses me.

And I know you don't think

I have anything left
to teach you,

But maybe
I wanted you to see

Just how ridiculous
you truly are,

Constantly chasing
their approval.

Sorry to interrupt, dr. Dorian.
I just wanted to make sure

You were still gonna be my blood buddy.
I'll be there.

What?

You can't even help yourself,
can ya?

Dorian, in oer for these kids
to really learn,

Sooner or later you gotta
let go of their hands.

So I'm supposed to be like you
and just rule by fear?

Perry, they hate you.

Yes, they do, and sure, I could
be a little bit kinder.

But that's not going to happen,
and here's why--

We're creating doctors,
not kindergarteners.

Th need me.

Do they?

Because I don't ever remember

Holding your smooth little doll hand,

And you turned out to be
not too horrible a doctor.

So I'm here

For our ridiculous
couples date.

Where are they?
They're at the bar.

I told them they couldn't
sit with us.

Okay, let's sneak out the ba
and go play air hockey.

Why did you make me
come here?

So I could win, which I did.
Look, I had to do something.

You were trying to make
a power play.

No, I just didn't want to go
on some stupid double date.

So far, this has just been
a hookup thing.

Why are you acting like we're in
some big serious relationship?

I mean, don't get me wrong.
Not that I'm against it.

Normally by now I would've
sabotagethis by...

I don't know, getting hammered
at thanksgiving

And making out with one of your
aunts, and I haven't done that.

And I think that's good.
I feel like I'm growing.

You know what?

I'm into it if you are.

Do you wanna talk about
us being in a relationship?

I have news for you.
We're in a relationship.

What?
Yeah, I decided, like, a month ago. I didn't tell you?

damn it.
I actually like you.

Y-you stole from me?

Going to steal.
Big difference.

come on, dr. D.

Where are you?

Done!

That vein didn't stand a chance.
I owned that bitch!

As much as it pains me
to admit it,

That bitch is indeed yours.
Well done.

jingle bells,
you're next.

Great. Yes.

Let me just pop up front,

And I will take some blood.

What are you doing?

Stalling until dr. Dorian
gets here.

He's on his way.

And when he gets here,

I am going to drain
his main vein.

You have five minutes.

So we are in a relationship?
Yeah.

Are there any other decisions
that you made

That I need to know about?

I mean, are we exclusive?
You are.

But don't worry. We'll go over
all the rules later.

Hey, guys.

This is keyshawn.
He's the bomb.

That's great. You order drinks.
I'm gonna go hit the head.

What should we order for her?

Yeah, she's not coming back.

No problem. Uh, it just means
more drew time.

being there for someone
is never easy.

You don't want to let down
the people you care about.

Time's up.

Do it now or fail.

But... I don't have
a partner.

Yeah, you do.

Just remember,
you're terrified of me.

I am.

Go ahead.

But sometimes being there
for someone

Means not being there at all.

the needle is my friend.

The needle is my friend.

I did it.
I actually did it.

You most certainly did.
And the good news is

That med school gets
a lot easier after this.

Really?
No.

No.

Oh, hey, thanks a lot
for not showing up.

By the way, I did it
all on my own,

And I didn't need you after all.
That's good, isn't it?

Lucy?

Good luck.

Well, this is it.
I can't believe you.

I can't believe you don't
want to do one last eagle.

This could be our last eagle
before our next last eagle.

Turk, gather the students.

All right, but they're not gonna
fall for rob schneider again.

Then pull out the big guns.

Tell them it's the cast of "twilight."

Kids love sexy vampires.
I'm on it.

The cast of "twilight's"
in the quad!

The cast of "twilight's"
in the quad!

J.D., are we really
doing this?

Yes, turk. It's time to finally
realize the dream.

Super eagle!

eagle!

Oh, look who it is!

Oh, dear god.

God, that is ridiculous.

What is it?

That is my prescription
fiber drink with rum.

I love that!

Ay, you got any
of those wiener pills?

Who do you think
you're talking to, son?

I'll give you one
for 10 bucks.

You got change for a 20?
Nope.

We'll drop a couple
of these bad boys

And go trolling for ladies
at the airport bar.

Will you be my grandpa?

Why, sure, little man.

Sure.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0