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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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After 6 weeks home with her baby,
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00:00:02,184 --> 00:00:05,012
... Carla was facing the decision
that all new moms have to face.
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00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:07,291
Whether she should
go back to work.
5
00:00:07,292 --> 00:00:10,111
Ok, so.
If we take my salary...
6
00:00:10,112 --> 00:00:13,172
... and subtract the cost
of a full-time nanny...
7
00:00:13,173 --> 00:00:16,812
... plus her health insurance,
we will still end up with...
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00:00:17,867 --> 00:00:20,252
... losing US$5 a month?!?!
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00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:23,787
This is completely your decision.
I'm ok one way or the other.
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00:00:23,788 --> 00:00:26,432
Maybe I'll try staying home
with Izzy for a year.
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00:00:26,816 --> 00:00:27,789
Yes!!!!
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00:00:33,779 --> 00:00:36,594
As for me, ever since my
pregnant girlfriend left...
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00:00:36,595 --> 00:00:38,798
... I've been a little clingy
with my roommate.
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00:00:38,983 --> 00:00:40,563
JD, I'm going to get a drink
from the water fountain.
15
00:00:40,564 --> 00:00:41,166
Do you wanna come?
16
00:00:41,993 --> 00:00:44,432
Please, Elliot.
I'm not that desperate.
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00:00:44,606 --> 00:00:46,211
Although I am a little parched.
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00:00:46,411 --> 00:00:48,644
Plus I could hold back her hair.
19
00:00:51,589 --> 00:00:52,595
Are you okay, ma'am?
20
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:55,493
How many fingers do you see?
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Call 911 emergency.
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00:01:00,135 --> 00:01:02,226
Why are you singing?
23
00:01:02,227 --> 00:01:05,133
Wait!
Why am I singing?
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00:01:05,745 --> 00:01:07,888
Is there someone here with you?
25
00:01:08,859 --> 00:01:11,608
Someone that we could talk to?
26
00:01:12,495 --> 00:01:19,386
Are you okay?
Are you alright?
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00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,697
The mind is a freaky thing, Elliot.
28
00:01:24,698 --> 00:01:26,102
Maybe she does hear singing.
29
00:01:26,103 --> 00:01:28,188
I haven't sung since
the 6th grade talent show...
30
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,477
... when I did Pat Benatar's
"Hell Is For Children".
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00:01:30,651 --> 00:01:32,758
Then afterwards Mr. Shaman,
the MC, said...
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00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,695
... "No. Actually hell is for everyone who
just had to hear you sing that song."
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00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,976
My mom was so mad, she slept
with him and ruined his marriage.
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00:01:37,977 --> 00:01:39,337
Let's see how she's doing.
35
00:01:47,534 --> 00:01:49,110
Hello, I'm Dr. Kelso.
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00:01:49,111 --> 00:01:50,661
I'm delighted that you came.
37
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:52,269
So the doctors say you fainted...
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00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:53,933
... and you don't know
what's to blame.
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00:01:54,054 --> 00:01:55,497
Well, put your mind at ease.
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00:01:55,498 --> 00:01:57,181
There's no ill we hadn't outsmarted.
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00:01:57,182 --> 00:01:59,135
On behalf of all who work here...
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00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:04,372
... welcome to Sacred Heart!!
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00:02:04,967 --> 00:02:08,518
Our facilities are excellent,
you couldn't ask for more.
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00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:11,731
As long as you avoid the
bathrooms on the second floor.
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00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,970
This is Dr. Cox,
I'll be giving him your chart.
46
00:02:14,971 --> 00:02:19,616
And that's Dr. Kelso,
the kissass of Sacred Heart.
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00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:22,564
You say you burned
your hand real bad,
48
00:02:22,565 --> 00:02:25,350
... we'll fix you up with gauze.
49
00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,742
Perhaps you need
your fat sucked out...
50
00:02:28,743 --> 00:02:30,994
- ... or one smallish nose.
- Hey !
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00:02:31,989 --> 00:02:37,466
If you caught a STD
from some tasty little tart.
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00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:40,927
We swear we won't judge
you here at Sacred...
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00:02:41,157 --> 00:02:50,230
Here at Sacred...
Here at Sacred Heart !!!
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00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:07,756
One more thing that I should mention...
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00:03:07,973 --> 00:03:09,540
... if what I heard is true.
56
00:03:10,095 --> 00:03:14,259
And everyone appears
to be singing to you.
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Your case is very serious.
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00:03:18,609 --> 00:03:20,091
And we better start.
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'Cos if you think we're singing,
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00:03:23,147 --> 00:03:28,260
- ... you belong at Sacred Heart.
- Doctors! Nurses!
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00:03:28,261 --> 00:03:30,007
Patients! Dead Guys!
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00:03:30,451 --> 00:03:41,807
Welcome to Sacred Heart !!
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00:03:53,372 --> 00:03:56,722
Scrubs - 606. My Musical
64
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Transcripted and synched by
The Janitor
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00:03:59,967 --> 00:04:02,060
Thanks to:
Erick, Thiago & Juliana
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00:04:06,739 --> 00:04:09,959
So Mrs. Miller passed both otological
and neurological exams.
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00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,791
We cannot find anything that
explains why she's hearing music.
68
00:04:13,236 --> 00:04:14,404
How about this for an explanation:
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00:04:14,992 --> 00:04:16,572
... she's cuckoo pants.
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00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:19,424
Run some more tests
and turf her to Psych.
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00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:24,961
Hey, Mrs. Miller.
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00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:27,517
We just need a stool sample.
73
00:04:28,062 --> 00:04:29,518
Why do you need a stool sample...
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00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,735
... if you think I'm just a nut?
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00:04:32,632 --> 00:04:34,004
- 'Cause the answer is not...
- 'Cause the answer is not...
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00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,285
- ... in your head, my dear.
- ... in your head, my dear.
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00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,068
- It's in your butt.
- It's in your butt.
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00:04:38,193 --> 00:04:41,989
You see?
Everything comes down to poo.
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00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:45,774
From the top of your head
to the sole of your shoe.
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00:04:45,775 --> 00:04:48,535
We can figure out
what is wrong with you...
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00:04:48,536 --> 00:04:50,706
... by looking at your poo.
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00:04:50,859 --> 00:04:51,682
Turk.
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00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:54,240
Do you have a hemorrhoid?
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00:04:54,241 --> 00:04:56,893
Or is it rectal cancer?
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00:04:57,454 --> 00:04:59,798
When you flush your dookie down...
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00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:02,700
... you flush away the answer.
87
00:05:02,701 --> 00:05:07,822
It doesn't really matter
if it's hard of it's loose.
88
00:05:08,187 --> 00:05:11,049
We'll figure out what's ailing you.
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00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:14,226
As long as it's a deuce.
Yes !
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00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:17,058
-Everything comes down to poo.
-Everything comes down to poo.
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00:05:17,059 --> 00:05:20,056
Cardiovascular, lymphatic, yes
the nervous system too.
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00:05:20,343 --> 00:05:23,276
All across the nation,
we trust in defecation.
93
00:05:23,277 --> 00:05:25,607
Everything comes down to poo.
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00:05:26,304 --> 00:05:28,985
If you want to know what's wrong...
95
00:05:28,986 --> 00:05:31,830
... don't sit and act so cool.
96
00:05:31,981 --> 00:05:34,761
Just be a man and eat some bran.
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00:05:34,762 --> 00:05:37,567
And drop the kids off at the pool.
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00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,801
- My stomach hurts.
- Check the poo.
99
00:05:41,343 --> 00:05:43,866
- I sprained my ankle.
- Check the poo.
100
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,812
- I was shot.
- Check the poo.
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00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:49,418
- A homeless guy just pooed in my eye.
- Check the poo.
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00:05:50,061 --> 00:05:53,099
- Mine or his?
- First him then you.
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00:05:53,634 --> 00:05:56,472
It may sound gross.
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00:05:56,681 --> 00:05:58,882
You may say "shush".
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00:05:59,334 --> 00:06:04,423
But we need to see what
comes out of your tush.
106
00:06:04,912 --> 00:06:06,154
Because...
107
00:06:06,513 --> 00:06:08,620
... everything comes down to poo.
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00:06:09,481 --> 00:06:12,659
Whether it is a tumor
or a touch of the flu.
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00:06:12,978 --> 00:06:15,718
Please, won't you pinch
us all a big fat clue.
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00:06:15,719 --> 00:06:18,648
Our number one test
is your number two.
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00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:21,835
If there's no breeze,
light a match please.
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00:06:21,836 --> 00:06:24,203
Everything comes down to...
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00:06:24,204 --> 00:06:25,829
- Doo doo.
- Doo doo.
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00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:27,444
- Doo doo.
- Doo doo.
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00:06:27,445 --> 00:06:29,838
Everything comes down to poo!!
116
00:06:32,728 --> 00:06:33,754
Guess what, you guys?
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00:06:34,391 --> 00:06:35,917
I put an offer on a little house...
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00:06:36,156 --> 00:06:37,657
... and it just got accepted.
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00:06:37,912 --> 00:06:40,174
- Congratulations.
- That's awesome!!
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00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:43,264
- My own house.
- C'mon, baby. See ya!!
121
00:06:43,265 --> 00:06:45,223
I'm so excited for us.
122
00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:48,945
Does he think that
he's moving in with me?
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00:06:48,946 --> 00:06:50,558
That would be a yes.
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00:06:50,892 --> 00:06:53,077
Excuse me, ex-nurse Turkelton.
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00:06:53,078 --> 00:06:55,612
But if you want to
hang out around here...
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00:06:55,613 --> 00:06:57,866
... you're going to
need a visitor's badge.
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00:06:59,283 --> 00:07:01,959
So, Carla...
128
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,670
... when will you be back?
129
00:07:05,256 --> 00:07:08,687
Not for a year.
130
00:07:09,313 --> 00:07:12,110
A year?!?!
131
00:07:12,111 --> 00:07:20,817
Not for one long,
long year.
132
00:07:25,763 --> 00:07:27,932
We understand you love that kid.
133
00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:30,300
But this ain't no way to treat us.
134
00:07:30,301 --> 00:07:32,637
And I hesitate to say you did...
135
00:07:32,638 --> 00:07:34,828
... what Judas done to Jesus.
136
00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:37,223
When you leave us all,
we'll be upset.
137
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,534
Look out.
That floor is very wet.
138
00:07:39,535 --> 00:07:41,470
We're gonna miss you, Carla.
139
00:07:41,605 --> 00:07:43,980
We're gonna miss you 'round here.
140
00:07:43,981 --> 00:07:46,148
We're gonna miss you, Carla.
141
00:07:46,316 --> 00:07:49,001
We're saying this
through a lot of tears.
142
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,161
How will everybody
get along without you...
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00:07:51,162 --> 00:07:53,337
... for a long, long year?
144
00:07:53,498 --> 00:07:57,058
Who'll tell me that my
new toupee looks sweet?
145
00:07:57,806 --> 00:08:01,275
Who'll treat my gay son's rash
and be discreet?
146
00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:05,893
Who'll give me better ways
to say "man meat"?
147
00:08:06,163 --> 00:08:08,848
- Pincho chiquito.
- Thanks. I'm using that.
148
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:11,425
We're gonna miss you 'round here.
149
00:08:11,818 --> 00:08:13,888
We're gonna miss you, Carla.
150
00:08:14,098 --> 00:08:16,805
We're saying this
through a lot of tears.
151
00:08:16,806 --> 00:08:18,786
How will everybody
get along without you...
152
00:08:18,787 --> 00:08:21,153
... for a long, long year?
153
00:08:21,154 --> 00:08:25,591
My baby made the choice
to be at home and not at work.
154
00:08:25,825 --> 00:08:30,459
So let us all rejoice 'cause
she's the brand new mama Turk.
155
00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:31,511
He's right, of course.
156
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,784
And yet my heart in spite of this...
157
00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:36,729
- ... feels torn apart.
- We're gonna miss you, Carla.
158
00:08:37,257 --> 00:08:39,542
We're gonna miss you 'round here.
159
00:08:39,543 --> 00:08:41,720
I need a tissue, Carla.
160
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:44,186
We're saying this
through a lot of tears.
161
00:08:44,187 --> 00:08:46,455
How we ever gonna
get along without you?
162
00:08:46,642 --> 00:08:48,925
How we ever gonna
get along without you?
163
00:08:48,926 --> 00:08:51,183
How we ever gonna
get along without you?
164
00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:52,927
Lunch!!
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00:08:53,568 --> 00:09:02,708
It's gonna be a long, long year.
166
00:09:06,075 --> 00:09:09,688
Dr. Cox, I'm not crazy.
167
00:09:10,079 --> 00:09:12,446
Am I still singing?
168
00:09:12,447 --> 00:09:15,618
Singing like a bird.
169
00:09:15,619 --> 00:09:17,719
Dr. Cox, huge news.
170
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:23,721
I pulled some strings and got the
parking spot right behind yours.
171
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,832
Bumper buddies.
172
00:09:27,281 --> 00:09:30,835
Still, you're not nearly as bad as her.
173
00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:35,084
Do you know how much you annoy me?
174
00:09:35,332 --> 00:09:37,785
The answer is: a lot.
175
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,918
Should I list the reasons why?
176
00:09:39,919 --> 00:09:43,266
Well, I don't see why not.
177
00:09:44,428 --> 00:09:46,955
It's your hair, your nose, your chinless
face, you always need a hug.
178
00:09:46,956 --> 00:09:49,551
Not to mention all the manly
appletinis that you chug.
179
00:09:49,552 --> 00:09:52,053
That you think I am your mentor
just continues to perplex.
180
00:09:52,054 --> 00:09:54,538
And, oh my God, stop telling me
when you have nerdy sex.
181
00:09:54,539 --> 00:09:56,487
By the way, last time
Kim was in town...
182
00:09:56,488 --> 00:09:59,210
... we got some appletinis and
poured them on her good parts.
183
00:09:59,211 --> 00:10:01,852
See now, Newbie? That's the thing
you do that drives me up a tree.
184
00:10:01,853 --> 00:10:04,157
'Cos no matter how I rant
at you, you never let me be.
185
00:10:04,158 --> 00:10:06,785
So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming,
your wish to be my son.
186
00:10:06,786 --> 00:10:09,312
It makes me suicidal and
I'm not the only one.
187
00:10:09,313 --> 00:10:11,789
No I'm not the only one...
188
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:19,942
It all started with
a penny in the door.
189
00:10:20,366 --> 00:10:26,528
There was a hatred
I had never felt before.
190
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,070
So now I make him pay,
191
00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:35,378
... each and every day.
192
00:10:35,379 --> 00:10:45,840
Until that moussed hair
little nuance is no more.
193
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,919
So now that is why I call you
names like Carol, Jane and Sue.
194
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,521
Like Moesha, Kim and Lilly
and Suzanne and Betty Lou.
195
00:10:52,522 --> 00:10:55,016
Regardless of the names I pick
my feelings are quite clear.
196
00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:57,777
You're a pain in every day
of every month of every year.
197
00:10:57,922 --> 00:11:00,590
Dr. Cox, you gotta help me
'cos I really am distressed.
198
00:11:00,591 --> 00:11:03,021
Can't you find another option,
won't you run another test?
199
00:11:03,022 --> 00:11:05,592
If you want some kind of favor,
really any kind of favor,
200
00:11:05,593 --> 00:11:08,355
... please just get me peace and
quiet from this godforsaken pest.
201
00:11:08,356 --> 00:11:11,426
I think what my bumper
buddy is trying to say...
202
00:11:11,427 --> 00:11:14,410
Shut your cakehole, Marybeth.
203
00:11:14,411 --> 00:11:19,347
Or I swear to God
I'll shut it soon.
204
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:24,301
Congratulations, we'll schedule
your test this afternoon.
205
00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:31,899
I know JD's in a bad place.
But I'm an adult.
206
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,795
I'm making good money.
I just wanna live by myself.
207
00:11:33,796 --> 00:11:35,743
So just tell him.
208
00:11:36,218 --> 00:11:38,311
So it's that easy?
Why don't you just tell Turk...
209
00:11:38,312 --> 00:11:39,669
... that you wanna
go back to work?
210
00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:41,505
What the hell am I gonna do?
211
00:11:42,907 --> 00:11:45,785
- I could tell a bunch of lies.
- I could buy him his own place.
212
00:11:45,786 --> 00:11:49,698
- I could bring the baby here with me.
- Or tell him there's no space.
213
00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:52,439
Those are some lameass ideas.
214
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,014
We're so screwed.
215
00:11:58,243 --> 00:12:00,658
I'm sure you must be scared.
216
00:12:00,659 --> 00:12:02,848
Not knowing what
this test will bring.
217
00:12:02,849 --> 00:12:04,991
It could prove
that you are crazy.
218
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,361
Do you still hear people sing?
219
00:12:08,457 --> 00:12:10,437
It's best to know the truth.
220
00:12:10,656 --> 00:12:12,496
Of that I have no doubt.
221
00:12:12,497 --> 00:12:15,583
But you'll have to face the future.
222
00:12:15,584 --> 00:12:17,265
When the truth comes out.
223
00:12:17,997 --> 00:12:20,483
We are running a test
that's a waste of our time.
224
00:12:20,484 --> 00:12:22,651
But at least she'll accept
she's medically fine.
225
00:12:22,652 --> 00:12:24,990
She'll admit that she's nuts
or I'll have to say "snore".
226
00:12:24,991 --> 00:12:28,090
Just give her the CAT-Scan
and show her the door.
227
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:30,877
While we process your results,
228
00:12:31,062 --> 00:12:32,775
... we'll take you back to wait.
229
00:12:32,776 --> 00:12:34,499
We've got drugs to calm you down.
230
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,614
So you don't stress about your fate.
231
00:12:36,732 --> 00:12:38,426
It's best to know the truth.
232
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:40,340
Of that we have no doubt.
233
00:12:40,341 --> 00:12:43,955
- But you'll have to face the future.
- Face the future...
234
00:12:43,956 --> 00:12:45,311
... when the truth comes out.
235
00:12:45,536 --> 00:12:47,235
You're gonna miss it, Carla.
236
00:12:47,236 --> 00:12:49,265
You're gonna miss it 'round here.
237
00:12:49,266 --> 00:12:51,004
Gonna hurt him badly.
238
00:12:51,216 --> 00:12:54,871
But you can't stay away
for one whole year.
239
00:12:55,049 --> 00:12:58,679
- I know that I'm not crazy.
- Everything comes down to poo.
240
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,571
- I think that I'm not crazy.
- When we move I'm gonna have...
241
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,941
... my own private loo.
242
00:13:03,427 --> 00:13:06,896
How am I supposed to tell him
that he's not moving too?
243
00:13:06,897 --> 00:13:09,469
- Oh my God.
- He doesn't have a clue.
244
00:13:09,470 --> 00:13:11,226
I'm crazy.
245
00:13:11,227 --> 00:13:14,059
If you like to reconsider,
I'd be glad to do my part.
246
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:22,383
If you want your job is open,
come on back to Sacred Heart.
247
00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:25,674
Look at the temporal lobe.
248
00:13:25,675 --> 00:13:27,312
That could be why
she's hearing music.
249
00:13:27,313 --> 00:13:28,857
The biggest aneurysm I've ever seen.
250
00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:30,274
The woman is a time-bomb.
251
00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:32,770
Sometimes you're better off not knowing.
252
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,615
But this isn't one of those times.
253
00:13:34,756 --> 00:13:36,594
Your world's become a musical.
254
00:13:36,595 --> 00:13:38,338
And your doctors speak in rhymes.
255
00:13:38,506 --> 00:13:39,935
It's best to know the truth.
256
00:13:40,137 --> 00:13:41,876
Of that we have no doubt.
257
00:13:41,877 --> 00:13:46,158
- But you'll have to face the future...
- How can I tell him?
258
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,700
- How can I tell him?
- How can I tell her?
259
00:13:49,701 --> 00:13:53,027
You'll have to face the future
when the truth comes out.
260
00:13:54,699 --> 00:13:57,936
So Dr. Cox, is it serious?
261
00:14:00,433 --> 00:14:02,450
Oh...
262
00:14:08,772 --> 00:14:13,638
When the truth comes out.
263
00:14:17,631 --> 00:14:18,824
Okay, we've to tell them.
264
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,152
They're so close. Maybe they'll
help each other through it.
265
00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:22,512
Come on, Carla. They're guys.
266
00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:23,927
They're not gonna get all touchy-feely.
267
00:14:26,459 --> 00:14:29,375
Let's face the facts
about me and you...
268
00:14:29,566 --> 00:14:32,550
... a love unspecified.
269
00:14:32,722 --> 00:14:36,365
Though I'm proud to
call you "Chocolate Bear",
270
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:40,110
... the crowd will always
talk and stare.
271
00:14:40,111 --> 00:14:43,385
I feel exactly those feelings too.
272
00:14:43,574 --> 00:14:46,318
And that's why
I keep them inside.
273
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:50,051
'Cause this bear can't bear
the world's disdain.
274
00:14:50,464 --> 00:14:52,835
And sometimes is easier to hide...
275
00:14:52,836 --> 00:14:55,223
- ... than explain our Guy Love.
- ... than explain our Guy Love.
276
00:14:55,224 --> 00:14:57,032
- That's all it is.
- That's all it is.
277
00:14:57,428 --> 00:15:00,498
- Guy Love, he's mine, I'm his.
- Guy Love, he's mine, I'm his.
278
00:15:00,826 --> 00:15:03,139
- There's nothing gay about it...
- There's nothing gay about it...
279
00:15:03,312 --> 00:15:05,861
- ... in our eyes.
- ... in our eyes.
280
00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:10,750
You ask me about this thing we share.
281
00:15:10,751 --> 00:15:15,401
And he tenderly replies.
282
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:17,634
It's guy love...
283
00:15:17,635 --> 00:15:21,920
- ... between two guys.
- ... between two guys.
284
00:15:22,870 --> 00:15:26,217
We're closer than the
average man & wife.
285
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:29,395
That's why our matching
bracelets say "Turk & JD"
286
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:33,192
You know I'll stick by you
for the rest of my life.
287
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:37,120
You're the only man
who's ever been inside of me.
288
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,206
I just took out his appendix.
289
00:15:39,747 --> 00:15:43,098
- There's no need to clarify.
- Oh no?
290
00:15:43,099 --> 00:15:45,964
Just let it grow more
and more each day.
291
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:50,065
It's like I married my best friend.
292
00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:52,603
But in a totally manly way.
293
00:15:52,604 --> 00:15:53,636
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
294
00:15:53,637 --> 00:15:57,197
- It's guy love, don't compromise...
- It's guy love, don't compromise...
295
00:15:57,198 --> 00:16:00,643
- ... the feeling of some other guy.
- ... the feeling of some other guy.
296
00:16:00,848 --> 00:16:03,049
- Holding up your heart...
- Holding up your heart...
297
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,985
- ... into the sky.
- ... into the sky.
298
00:16:07,393 --> 00:16:10,730
I'll be there to care through all the lows.
299
00:16:10,731 --> 00:16:15,322
I'll be there to share the highs.
300
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:21,966
- It's guy love between two guys.
- It's guy love between two guys.
301
00:16:22,819 --> 00:16:25,896
And when I say
"I love you, Turk".
302
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:31,082
It's not what it implies.
303
00:16:32,604 --> 00:16:35,232
- It's guy love...
- It's guy love...
304
00:16:35,647 --> 00:16:37,446
- ... between...
- ... between...
305
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,956
- ... two...
- ... two...
306
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:45,030
- ... guys.
- ... guys.
307
00:16:45,876 --> 00:16:47,210
No hands.
308
00:16:55,464 --> 00:16:56,919
Okay, I'll go first.
309
00:16:57,370 --> 00:16:59,101
JD, I wanna live by myself.
310
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,787
Okay, no problem.
311
00:17:00,788 --> 00:17:02,669
Turk, will you relay this?
312
00:17:03,705 --> 00:17:05,499
That means you guys
are no longer talking.
313
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,707
JD ?!
314
00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:08,770
Wait a second.
What did she mean she'll go first?
315
00:17:09,146 --> 00:17:11,463
Turk, I wanna come back to work.
It's who I am.
316
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:15,891
I always thought family was the most
important thing to Puerto Ricans.
317
00:17:18,952 --> 00:17:22,392
I've had it up to here
so let me make it very clear.
318
00:17:22,607 --> 00:17:25,302
Because I swear I'll never
hook you in again.
319
00:17:25,824 --> 00:17:27,322
Everytime that you profess...
320
00:17:27,323 --> 00:17:29,119
- ... I come from Puerto Rico.
- Yes.
321
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,361
For the last time, Turk,
I'm Dominican.
322
00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:37,927
Don't make a big to-do,
I was simply testing you.
323
00:17:38,106 --> 00:17:41,153
Then why'd you tell JD
our baby is "Blaxican"?
324
00:17:41,314 --> 00:17:42,934
Baby, you know
I know the truth.
325
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,824
Well, I need a little proof, so...
326
00:17:44,825 --> 00:17:47,954
... list all you know about me
or no sex again.
327
00:17:48,132 --> 00:17:48,993
Let's see...
328
00:17:49,587 --> 00:17:51,386
- Your name is Carla.
- Oh yes.
329
00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:53,389
- You are Latina.
- Impressive.
330
00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:55,609
You are a nurse,
your mother is dead and...
331
00:17:55,610 --> 00:17:56,689
Wait !
I got it.
332
00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:58,405
- Three sisters.
- Turk!!
333
00:17:58,406 --> 00:17:59,600
Two sisters?
334
00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:03,549
But I'm sure you have a brother
who is a huge jerkoff.
335
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:06,928
- Tell me what's my middle name.
- Ok. I'm tired of this game.
336
00:18:06,929 --> 00:18:08,516
Let's forget it.
I give up.
337
00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:09,827
I guess you win again.
338
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,302
But it's not just me who gets mixed up...
339
00:18:12,303 --> 00:18:15,548
- ... by all this crazy ethnic stuff.
- Sorry. Even I know.
340
00:18:15,729 --> 00:18:17,052
She's Dominican.
Booya!
341
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:20,050
Did I grow up in Illinois
or was it Michigan?
342
00:18:20,946 --> 00:18:23,550
How long before we met
was I in Medicine?
343
00:18:24,066 --> 00:18:26,984
Was our wedding song
The Beatles or Led Zepellin?
344
00:18:27,435 --> 00:18:30,500
Am I freakin' Puerto Rican
or Dominican?
345
00:18:30,883 --> 00:18:33,622
The thing is guys remember facts...
346
00:18:33,969 --> 00:18:37,676
... like what Derek Jeter hit
last year which was 303.
347
00:18:37,677 --> 00:18:40,437
And that is why
our brains are maxed.
348
00:18:40,826 --> 00:18:44,690
And there's no room for things
like birthdays or ethnicities.
349
00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:46,383
Well, thank you
for that glimpse...
350
00:18:46,384 --> 00:18:48,295
... into the workings of
the inner man.
351
00:18:48,296 --> 00:18:49,741
Let's talk about
your job and...
352
00:18:49,743 --> 00:18:51,762
- ... not the fact that you're...
- ... Dominican.
353
00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:52,763
You're not staying
home from work.
354
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,929
Will that make
you happy, Turk?
355
00:18:54,930 --> 00:18:57,750
I'll support you if you
choose to earn the Benjamins.
356
00:18:58,197 --> 00:18:59,956
Then I'll return to work today.
357
00:19:00,126 --> 00:19:01,706
Now you showed
that that's okay.
358
00:19:01,851 --> 00:19:04,621
I say "si" which is
"yes" in Dominican.
359
00:19:05,017 --> 00:19:06,580
- And Puerto Rican.
- Turk!!!
360
00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:08,308
But you're Dominican.
361
00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:10,803
Look, JD.
362
00:19:11,395 --> 00:19:13,761
I don't wanna let you down
when your life is so crappy.
363
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,868
- Move in with me.
- No, Elliot. It's okay.
364
00:19:17,869 --> 00:19:19,876
I was just feeling
sorry for myself.
365
00:19:19,877 --> 00:19:21,745
Plus, it's about time
you lived on your own.
366
00:19:21,746 --> 00:19:23,507
You're closer to 40 than 30.
367
00:19:24,242 --> 00:19:25,555
JD, I'm 29.
368
00:19:25,556 --> 00:19:27,020
I'm playing with you.
Listen.
369
00:19:27,021 --> 00:19:28,859
We're gonna be fine.
You know why?
370
00:19:29,242 --> 00:19:33,552
We'll be friends forever.
371
00:19:33,553 --> 00:19:35,521
We're gonna be
friends forever.
372
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:39,181
We will always be true.
373
00:19:39,674 --> 00:19:43,459
Friends forever.
We're gonna be friends forever.
374
00:19:43,888 --> 00:19:46,878
I'll always be there for you.
375
00:19:47,733 --> 00:19:51,553
- We're as close as...
- ... the vena cava and the aorta.
376
00:19:51,726 --> 00:19:55,410
- We're best friends just like...
- ... amoxacilin and clavulanic acid.
377
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,342
The tibia and the fibula.
The left and right ventricule.
378
00:19:57,343 --> 00:19:59,371
A hypodermic needle
and a latex tourniquet.
379
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,312
Diverticulitis and
a barium enema.
380
00:20:01,313 --> 00:20:05,460
- The vena cava and the aorta.
- Amoxacilin and clavulanic acid.
381
00:20:05,461 --> 00:20:07,307
The tibia, the fibula.
The left and right ventricule.
382
00:20:07,308 --> 00:20:09,330
A hypodermic needle
and a latex tourniquet.
383
00:20:09,331 --> 00:20:11,403
- The vena cava and the aorta.
- We'll be friends...
384
00:20:11,404 --> 00:20:13,449
- Amoxacilin and clavulanic acid.
- ... forever.
385
00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:15,364
The tibia, the fibula.
The left and right ventricule.
386
00:20:15,365 --> 00:20:16,942
A hypodermic needle and a...
387
00:20:19,906 --> 00:20:21,719
What's going to happen?
388
00:20:22,495 --> 00:20:24,696
What does the future hold?
389
00:20:24,697 --> 00:20:27,576
So many things that I put off.
390
00:20:28,049 --> 00:20:35,218
Assuming I'd have time.
Assuming I'd grow old.
391
00:20:37,007 --> 00:20:38,768
What's going to happen?
392
00:20:39,954 --> 00:20:43,768
And will I be alive tomorrow?
393
00:20:45,024 --> 00:20:46,665
What's going to happen...
394
00:20:47,561 --> 00:20:52,466
... to me?
395
00:20:53,039 --> 00:20:55,232
You're going to be okay.
396
00:20:55,565 --> 00:20:57,899
That's what's going to happen.
397
00:20:58,235 --> 00:21:02,131
Everything is okay.
398
00:21:02,501 --> 00:21:04,979
We're right here beside you.
399
00:21:04,980 --> 00:21:07,377
We won't let you slip away.
400
00:21:08,015 --> 00:21:11,275
Plan for tomorrow.
401
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:14,251
'Cause we swear to you...
402
00:21:14,719 --> 00:21:20,045
... you're going to be okay.
403
00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:24,020
I'm going to be okay.
404
00:21:24,762 --> 00:21:26,713
That's what's going to happen.
405
00:21:27,067 --> 00:21:31,775
- Everything is okay.
- Everything is okay.
406
00:21:31,776 --> 00:21:36,154
We will never leave you.
Right here we will stay.
407
00:21:36,541 --> 00:21:39,745
- Plan for tomorrow.
- Plan for tomorrow.
408
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,534
'Cause we swear to you...
409
00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:48,534
... you're going to be okay.
410
00:21:50,362 --> 00:21:51,899
We hope.
411
00:22:00,196 --> 00:22:01,758
Did it work?
412
00:22:02,019 --> 00:22:03,553
You're gonna have to tell us.
413
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:10,653
Thank you.
414
00:22:11,284 --> 00:22:12,896
By the way,
who's the best singer?
415
00:22:13,273 --> 00:22:14,810
You know,
in your head.
416
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,336
Don't let the fact that
I went to theater camp...
417
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:18,501
... affect your decision.
418
00:22:18,867 --> 00:22:21,049
In musicals, there's
always a happy ending.
419
00:22:21,395 --> 00:22:22,466
But in life,
420
00:22:23,082 --> 00:22:25,107
... sometimes when you
get what you want,
421
00:22:25,998 --> 00:22:28,009
... you end up missing
what you left behind.
422
00:22:30,614 --> 00:22:32,173
Whether it's your roommate...
423
00:22:34,149 --> 00:22:35,463
I'll see you in a little while.
424
00:22:36,937 --> 00:22:38,623
... or time spent with your child.
425
00:22:42,291 --> 00:22:46,570
Or even the music you
used to hear in your head.
426
00:22:47,570 --> 00:22:57,570
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