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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 2 00:00:00,831 --> 00:00:04,799 You're a fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty! 3 00:00:05,031 --> 00:00:05,966 What's your son doing? 4 00:00:06,190 --> 00:00:08,758 Apparently he's doing the "fatty dance." 5 00:00:09,214 --> 00:00:09,935 Inappropriate? 6 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:14,127 Well, maybe. But I'm raising my son to be a straight-shooter. 7 00:00:14,313 --> 00:00:15,695 That's his mom, right over there. 8 00:00:16,065 --> 00:00:17,576 Ohh, thanks for including me. 9 00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:19,712 Dr. Cox and Jordan weren't the only ones 10 00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:20,951 with kid troubles. 11 00:00:21,199 --> 00:00:23,151 My brand new girlfriend was pregnant, 12 00:00:23,247 --> 00:00:24,936 and we were trying to decide what to do. 13 00:00:25,374 --> 00:00:26,582 Should we keep it or get rid of it ? 14 00:00:26,806 --> 00:00:27,448 I dunno. 15 00:00:27,839 --> 00:00:29,785 If we keep it, it'll just end up in the dumpster. 16 00:00:30,953 --> 00:00:32,255 Okay! Enough pizza talk 17 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:35,496 I mean, we're clearly stalling, here. So, uh, let's go...Um.... 18 00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:37,267 Do you like kids ? 19 00:00:37,774 --> 00:00:38,614 Of course I do ! 20 00:00:38,782 --> 00:00:40,500 What about you? Any nieces or nephews? 21 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:41,995 Yeah, I have a nephew. 22 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,332 Although he's forty-five. 23 00:00:43,445 --> 00:00:44,939 But occasionally I do have to change his diaper. 24 00:00:45,381 --> 00:00:46,092 He was kicked by a horse. 25 00:00:47,716 --> 00:00:49,725 Yeah. Now, how do you feel about adoption? 26 00:00:51,276 --> 00:00:52,796 So beautiful! 27 00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:55,461 I hope you keep some ice in this locket, 28 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,668 'cause you're making me hot all over! 29 00:00:58,597 --> 00:01:01,109 Actually, it's the only picture I have of my biological father. 30 00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:02,244 D'you wanna see it? 31 00:01:03,074 --> 00:01:04,220 What? 32 00:01:04,725 --> 00:01:06,173 Oh! Sure! 33 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,029 Uh, I'll take a look at it first thing tomorrow morning, huh? 34 00:01:10,401 --> 00:01:12,064 Yeah, I'm not a big fan of adoption. 35 00:01:12,218 --> 00:01:13,577 You think if it's a girl, you'd doink her? 36 00:01:14,065 --> 00:01:15,227 I know I will. 37 00:01:16,265 --> 00:01:19,554 Yep. All right, well, look, we don't need to make this decision tonight, right ? 38 00:01:19,801 --> 00:01:21,178 I mean, plenty of time. 39 00:01:21,266 --> 00:01:22,794 I'm totally fine with stalling. 40 00:01:23,441 --> 00:01:24,608 'Cause if I hear the word "baby" one more time, 41 00:01:24,687 --> 00:01:26,538 I'm gonna lose it! 42 00:01:26,978 --> 00:01:28,682 Dude! Carla's in labor! 43 00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:29,700 Meet me at the apartment! 44 00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,391 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 45 00:01:33,015 --> 00:01:34,327 Is he coming? Is he coming!? 46 00:01:34,664 --> 00:01:36,726 Turk, she's barely in labor. 47 00:01:36,808 --> 00:01:37,743 Oh, he's not talking about the baby. 48 00:01:38,925 --> 00:01:41,062 He's here! And now we can have our baby! 49 00:01:41,174 --> 00:01:43,492 Okay, Brown Bear, commence Operation Brown Cub! 50 00:01:43,699 --> 00:01:44,788 - Suitcase! - Check. 51 00:01:44,964 --> 00:01:46,196 Stylish big daddy hat! 52 00:01:46,277 --> 00:01:46,628 Check. 53 00:01:46,779 --> 00:01:48,267 Big-time collegiate drum-line! 54 00:01:49,308 --> 00:01:49,917 Check! 55 00:01:52,301 --> 00:01:53,909 I want the whole world to know 56 00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:55,597 my baby's having a baby! 57 00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,117 Maybe we should just take your car! 58 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,111 - Ao - 59 00:02:18,159 --> 00:02:19,127 - DeX - 60 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:20,214 - Greg - 61 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,398 - Nuwanda - 62 00:02:21,494 --> 00:02:22,408 - The Nux - 63 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:23,535 - WBbarrie - 64 00:02:23,656 --> 00:02:27,165 Scrubs- episode 6x02 65 00:02:27,263 --> 00:02:28,952 High-Five Team 66 00:02:33,134 --> 00:02:35,225 'Kay, ladies, we're here; calm down. 67 00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:37,414 What the hell took you so long? 68 00:02:38,239 --> 00:02:40,152 Oh, my God, did you stop for food? 69 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:43,543 We had to, honey. J.D. promised the band that we'd feed them. 70 00:02:44,926 --> 00:02:47,272 Yeah, let me get twenty-three cheeseburgers, 71 00:02:47,369 --> 00:02:49,031 twenty-three milkshakes 72 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,520 Miguel, if you don't stop drumming, you're not getting fries. 73 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,670 Twenty-three fri... You know what, twenty-two fries. 74 00:02:58,046 --> 00:03:00,046 Twenty-two fries...you didn't think I'd do it, did you. 75 00:03:01,279 --> 00:03:03,071 Miguel has such raw talent, 76 00:03:03,175 --> 00:03:04,966 but his attitude keeps getting in the way. 77 00:03:06,063 --> 00:03:09,694 Yay, congratulations, whoopee, all right, see ya. 78 00:03:13,863 --> 00:03:15,925 We are so happy for you! 79 00:03:22,798 --> 00:03:23,968 He's so sweet! 80 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,820 You put one of those inside me! What are we gonna do? 81 00:03:30,349 --> 00:03:31,619 Turk, you brought my suitcase, right? 82 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,868 Of course I have your suitcase, honey. 83 00:03:44,795 --> 00:03:45,748 What are you doing? 84 00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:48,486 Sometimes when you need a miracle, 85 00:03:48,556 --> 00:03:50,341 you have to pray extra-extra hard. 86 00:03:50,996 --> 00:03:51,883 You wanna help me out? 87 00:03:52,388 --> 00:03:53,995 Fo' shizzle. 88 00:04:18,764 --> 00:04:19,436 Nothing! Okay. 89 00:04:21,292 --> 00:04:22,548 Baby! Changed my mind. 90 00:04:23,541 --> 00:04:24,539 Don't have your suitcase. 91 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,387 Turk! What the hell? 92 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,868 It's okay. It's okay, Carla, because I... packed you an extra overnight bag, 93 00:04:30,108 --> 00:04:33,603 you're all checked in, and I got you an orderly to take you to your room. 94 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,322 Yeah, I'm only four months pregnant, ace. 95 00:04:37,693 --> 00:04:39,203 Oh, yeah, I think you're looking for me. 96 00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:41,053 Move it along before I eat you! 97 00:04:41,484 --> 00:04:42,268 Chop chop. 98 00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:46,845 Ah. Sorry, Jack, the machine's broken. 99 00:04:46,914 --> 00:04:49,443 Looks like you're gonna have to guzzle your juice down without any ice. 100 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:52,173 Pretend, um.... You know, pretend it's gin. 101 00:04:52,869 --> 00:04:54,060 What's gin? 102 00:04:56,224 --> 00:04:58,054 Gin is an alcoholic beverage which, 103 00:04:58,134 --> 00:05:01,263 if your mommy's strong genes are any indication, 104 00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:02,900 ou'll eventually learn to love 105 00:05:03,222 --> 00:05:07,446 as it slowly destroys a giant portion of your adult life 106 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,679 First the fat lady, now this? 107 00:05:11,707 --> 00:05:14,137 He's three, Perry! Do you have to be so blunt with him? 108 00:05:14,322 --> 00:05:16,793 I'm not gonna B.S. my own kid. What's the big deal? 109 00:05:17,794 --> 00:05:18,935 Hiya, sport! 110 00:05:19,425 --> 00:05:21,146 Your skin is wrinkly. 111 00:05:21,307 --> 00:05:24,122 Yeah? Well that shirt you're wearing is gay! 112 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,821 Hey, baby. I know things haven't exactly gone smoothly so far, 113 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,545 but I promise you I'm about to make it up to you. 114 00:05:33,729 --> 00:05:35,818 I spent all weekend talking to my cousin 115 00:05:35,906 --> 00:05:38,305 who just so happens to be the world's biggest blerd. 116 00:05:39,402 --> 00:05:40,466 It's a black nerd. 117 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,497 Anyway, he taught me everything about streaming video, 118 00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:47,339 and now, thanks to me, your sisters in Chicago 119 00:05:47,530 --> 00:05:49,419 will be able to witness the birth of our child 120 00:05:49,537 --> 00:05:50,368 live via webcam! 121 00:05:50,713 --> 00:05:52,818 Turk! That's so sweet! 122 00:05:52,876 --> 00:05:54,341 You know, I do what I do. 123 00:05:55,027 --> 00:05:56,652 All we gotta do is wait for the cameraman to get here. 124 00:05:56,948 --> 00:05:57,812 Camera man? Nuh-uh! 125 00:05:58,699 --> 00:06:00,838 No man's gonna me filming my pooter 126 00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:02,443 unless he's completely asexual! 127 00:06:03,195 --> 00:06:03,948 Hello! 128 00:06:04,356 --> 00:06:06,075 Oh! Hey, Ted! Cool. 129 00:06:06,763 --> 00:06:07,795 All right. I'ma go tell your sisters 130 00:06:07,892 --> 00:06:09,828 that this bad boy is about to pop off. 131 00:06:12,907 --> 00:06:14,939 All right, Carla. Let's check how dilated you are. 132 00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,756 Looking real good, Carla. 133 00:06:18,124 --> 00:06:22,061 Okay, we're live in three, two, one.... 134 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,890 Okay. Looks like you're at about three centimeters. 135 00:06:27,068 --> 00:06:29,827 Greatest show ever! 136 00:06:32,364 --> 00:06:34,477 And...record. 137 00:06:36,816 --> 00:06:38,567 Cool! Swamp thing! 138 00:06:40,376 --> 00:06:41,566 What's that, daddy? 139 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,767 Oh, that's the vagina of a 35-year-old Latina woman. 140 00:06:49,071 --> 00:06:50,088 Baby? 141 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,510 What the!?!? 142 00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:07,741 J.D., we have to talk about all of our pregnancy options, 143 00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:09,054 even if they make us uncomfortable. 144 00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,503 There's one way of dealing with this that no one's mention yet.... 145 00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:13,680 The A-word. 146 00:07:13,775 --> 00:07:14,294 I know.... 147 00:07:14,823 --> 00:07:16,158 - Appletinis -Abortions. 148 00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:17,637 What? 149 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,126 I thought that we could discuss 150 00:07:19,223 --> 00:07:21,542 abortion over appletinis. 151 00:07:23,559 --> 00:07:25,846 Did somebody just say "abortion"? 152 00:07:27,998 --> 00:07:29,456 Laverne, with all due respect, 153 00:07:29,647 --> 00:07:31,990 this is none of your business. Or Jesus's. 154 00:07:33,471 --> 00:07:35,535 I believe He would beg to differ. 155 00:07:38,175 --> 00:07:41,112 She's right, J.D. Every life is precious. 156 00:07:41,616 --> 00:07:44,166 But what if having this baby is a huge mistake for us? 157 00:07:46,792 --> 00:07:47,608 Okay, 158 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:51,399 I'm gonna make this real simple: No abortions, okay? 159 00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:53,143 But what if... 160 00:07:53,231 --> 00:07:53,887 No abortions! 161 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,310 Lemme finish! 162 00:07:55,487 --> 00:07:57,877 What if the parents were like abusive drug addicts 163 00:07:57,974 --> 00:07:59,136 who would neglect their kids? 164 00:07:59,343 --> 00:08:00,736 Oh, well, in that case it'd be okay. 165 00:08:01,461 --> 00:08:01,927 Really? 166 00:08:02,021 --> 00:08:05,607 NO ABORTIONS! How are you not getting this!? 167 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:08,647 This sucks. 168 00:08:08,734 --> 00:08:10,693 I mean, the hardest decision I've had to make in the last year 169 00:08:10,775 --> 00:08:11,663 was what hairstyle to get. 170 00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,429 And even then, all I did was open up an US Magazine, 171 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,503 close my eyes and pick a random celebrity. 172 00:08:16,112 --> 00:08:16,929 Kirsten Dunst? 173 00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:18,266 Owen Wilson. 174 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,337 You know what's making this so hard? 175 00:08:21,442 --> 00:08:22,231 This relationship is so new, 176 00:08:22,232 --> 00:08:25,648 we can't tell if we have a chance of making this work long-term. 177 00:08:26,199 --> 00:08:27,624 You know what might give us an inkling? 178 00:08:28,047 --> 00:08:30,309 We haven't technically had sex yet. 179 00:08:30,797 --> 00:08:33,847 That might help us find out if we're on the same page... 180 00:08:34,231 --> 00:08:36,197 you know...in the boudoir. 181 00:08:36,279 --> 00:08:37,535 Are you hitting on me? 182 00:08:37,878 --> 00:08:39,333 I'm sorry, I'm being an idiot, aren't I. 183 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:41,800 Nope. Clothes off. We're doing it. 184 00:08:46,079 --> 00:08:47,015 ...Yeah! 185 00:08:47,724 --> 00:08:50,095 All right, we are definitely sexually compatible. 186 00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:53,061 I'm putting that down in the pro "let's have a baby" category. 187 00:08:53,319 --> 00:08:54,694 That's--that's exactly what we should do, 188 00:08:54,792 --> 00:08:56,559 we should make a list of pros and cons. 189 00:08:57,031 --> 00:08:58,704 What did you two just do? 190 00:08:58,791 --> 00:09:01,654 Because I sure don't see any wedding rings! 191 00:09:03,973 --> 00:09:04,727 Laverne? 192 00:09:05,121 --> 00:09:06,272 Is this your Jesus? 193 00:09:10,911 --> 00:09:13,414 Turk, I got your shift covered so you could hang here. 194 00:09:13,527 --> 00:09:15,359 Oh, and Carla, there's something I wanted to tell you... 195 00:09:17,303 --> 00:09:18,663 Great vagina! 196 00:09:19,006 --> 00:09:19,982 So helpful! 197 00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:21,710 Don't take it out on The Todd! 198 00:09:21,831 --> 00:09:23,238 He was just giving me a compliment! 199 00:09:23,591 --> 00:09:24,493 Thank you, Todd. 200 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,134 Hey, happy to say it. 201 00:09:27,607 --> 00:09:28,791 So what's next, Turk? 202 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,585 Because so far, I'm half deaf from a drum-line, 203 00:09:31,728 --> 00:09:32,993 I have no suitcase, 204 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:35,631 and the entire hospital has seen Miss Priscilla! 205 00:09:37,121 --> 00:09:40,106 I named her after my high school art teacher. 206 00:09:40,745 --> 00:09:42,329 Oh, my God! So did I! 207 00:09:43,225 --> 00:09:44,649 Mr. Hebbler. 208 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,730 "It's nice to meet you!" 209 00:09:49,832 --> 00:09:51,009 Okay, let me just read the last of the cons: 210 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:51,666 We're not married, 211 00:09:51,769 --> 00:09:53,104 we're both totally focused on our careers, 212 00:09:53,234 --> 00:09:54,642 babies are known to be sticky, 213 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,472 and the average cost of raising a child is four-hundred-thousand dollars. 214 00:09:58,073 --> 00:09:59,503 Okay. Here are the final pros: 215 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,473 Kids are great... 216 00:10:00,631 --> 00:10:01,770 we both make good money, 217 00:10:02,017 --> 00:10:03,336 your boobs'll get huge 218 00:10:03,961 --> 00:10:05,481 I can finally buy Beanie Babies 219 00:10:05,569 --> 00:10:06,698 without feeling weird, 220 00:10:07,225 --> 00:10:08,321 and kids are great! 221 00:10:08,627 --> 00:10:09,312 Which we already said. 222 00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:11,120 Tax deductions! 223 00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:14,944 All right, so then what's the final tally? 224 00:10:15,042 --> 00:10:19,577 Nice. Let's see, that's twenty cons and nineteen pros. 225 00:10:20,112 --> 00:10:21,209 I guess we gotta abort. 226 00:10:21,306 --> 00:10:21,834 Yep. 227 00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:23,399 Wait, I'm sorry. 228 00:10:24,513 --> 00:10:26,360 That's an eyelash, I made a wish. 229 00:10:26,473 --> 00:10:28,153 It's a tie...abortion's off. 230 00:10:28,281 --> 00:10:29,728 Okay, so now what? 231 00:10:30,928 --> 00:10:32,890 Every couple has its share of problems. 232 00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:35,783 My son just asked me 233 00:10:35,863 --> 00:10:37,598 if my vagina had ever been on television. 234 00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:39,933 -And did you tell him not since the late 'eighties 235 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,534 when you were trying to make it as "an actress"? 236 00:10:42,078 --> 00:10:43,637 Whether it's someone digging in... 237 00:10:43,757 --> 00:10:47,077 Will you just cut the crap and stop treating your son like he's your drinking buddy? 238 00:10:47,185 --> 00:10:50,273 Look, I'm not going to change who I am, all right? End o' story. Jacky. 239 00:10:53,225 --> 00:10:54,944 ...or someone stealing your thunder. 240 00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:57,600 Okay, candles are all lit... 241 00:10:57,729 --> 00:10:58,921 lavender scented, your favorite. 242 00:10:58,984 --> 00:11:00,218 And here's a picture of your mom 243 00:11:00,313 --> 00:11:01,473 to watch over you. 244 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:02,834 And then I've got this kit in case you want to bronze 245 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,896 the umbilical cord and use it for a keychain. 246 00:11:05,112 --> 00:11:07,018 I practiced at home on some calamari. 247 00:11:07,609 --> 00:11:09,152 Elliot, you're amazing. 248 00:11:09,496 --> 00:11:11,217 We...hey, is there anything I can do to help? 249 00:11:11,448 --> 00:11:12,866 Elliot's got everything covered. 250 00:11:16,972 --> 00:11:19,532 Still, nothing's worse than facing the biggest decision of your life 251 00:11:19,629 --> 00:11:20,924 and not getting anywhere. 252 00:11:21,116 --> 00:11:22,508 Don't you wish it was this easy. 253 00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,602 Head's yes, tail's no. 254 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,301 You don't see that every day. 255 00:11:53,933 --> 00:11:55,362 You know what? We're getting nowhere. 256 00:11:55,556 --> 00:11:57,274 Let's split up for an hour and do some soul-searching. 257 00:11:58,381 --> 00:11:59,018 Where're you going? 258 00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:01,581 Oh, I was just gonna walk around. 259 00:12:02,172 --> 00:12:03,843 Why? Where do you go when you soul-search? 260 00:12:08,839 --> 00:12:09,941 All right, Justin. 261 00:12:10,216 --> 00:12:11,919 What should my specialty be, 262 00:12:12,341 --> 00:12:14,695 oncology or radiology? 263 00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:20,774 I go someplace wonderful. 264 00:12:21,754 --> 00:12:24,345 Anyway, I was thinking we need new table linens for the dining room. 265 00:12:24,456 --> 00:12:27,760 Well, not so much table linens as placemats. 266 00:12:27,952 --> 00:12:29,305 What do think's prettier, 267 00:12:29,441 --> 00:12:30,601 burgundy or mauve? 268 00:12:30,753 --> 00:12:32,121 What the hell's with her? 269 00:12:32,225 --> 00:12:34,005 She's mad. But she can't give me the silent treatment 270 00:12:34,006 --> 00:12:35,785 because she knows I'd actually love that, 271 00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:38,904 so she's giving me the talk-until-I-want-to-commit-suicide treatment. 272 00:12:39,544 --> 00:12:40,473 Sucks to be you. 273 00:12:40,657 --> 00:12:42,834 You have no idea. 274 00:12:43,489 --> 00:12:44,362 ...What else do I need for that? 275 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,338 Oh, I need new pillow shams. 276 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,041 And I--I like cotton, 277 00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:50,233 but I think we should get a cotton blend because 278 00:12:50,344 --> 00:12:51,649 that's easier to clean, 279 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,554 and I hate ironing. 280 00:12:53,824 --> 00:12:55,576 Maybe we need a new housekeeper. 281 00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:58,207 Maybe the housekeeper should come every single day now. 282 00:12:58,761 --> 00:13:00,808 Look, Elliot, I'm really trying to be involved 283 00:13:00,919 --> 00:13:01,960 in the birth of my child, 284 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:03,312 but you just keep boxing me out. 285 00:13:03,721 --> 00:13:05,362 That is not true. Now, outta my way, 286 00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:06,624 I've gotta order the birth announcements, 287 00:13:06,707 --> 00:13:07,641 put in the carseat, 288 00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:09,320 and find a yard to bury the placenta. 289 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,905 Oh, my God, I'm a monster! 290 00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:14,569 Turk, I am so sorry. 291 00:13:14,666 --> 00:13:15,801 I just love babies so much. 292 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,087 It's true. 293 00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:18,680 Sometimes she makes me wear a diaper. 294 00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,138 Keith! Private! 295 00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:24,688 So what is Elliot's plan? 296 00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:26,305 Ah, it's really simple: 297 00:13:26,665 --> 00:13:28,009 See, when Carla says "I'm thirsty," 298 00:13:28,239 --> 00:13:30,585 Elliot'll say, "Oh no, I forgot the ice chips." 299 00:13:30,713 --> 00:13:32,209 That's when I walk in, 300 00:13:32,359 --> 00:13:33,434 ice in hand, 301 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,137 and I say, "Christopher Turk, 302 00:13:35,279 --> 00:13:37,176 at your cervix!" 303 00:13:37,865 --> 00:13:39,057 Ahh! Should I have a baby, too? 304 00:13:39,712 --> 00:13:41,736 You know, I'm a little preoccupied right now. 305 00:13:42,017 --> 00:13:43,424 Why don't you ask your unicorn? 306 00:13:43,602 --> 00:13:45,281 Ah, this is way over Justin's head. 307 00:13:45,936 --> 00:13:47,097 He's never been in love. 308 00:13:47,673 --> 00:13:49,265 Not real love, anyway. 309 00:13:51,282 --> 00:13:52,474 What's up with the ice? 310 00:13:53,953 --> 00:13:54,770 I don't know what to do. 311 00:13:54,898 --> 00:13:57,073 I mean, having a baby can completely ruin your life, 312 00:13:57,263 --> 00:13:59,370 you know? Not to mention, as a urologist, 313 00:13:59,497 --> 00:14:01,625 I have seen what childbirth can do to you down there. 314 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,568 I mean, I examined this one woman last month and it was like 315 00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:07,768 "Hello...hello...hello...hello..." 316 00:14:07,906 --> 00:14:09,873 Not a good time, Kim! 317 00:14:12,544 --> 00:14:13,530 Oh, God, I'm thirsty! 318 00:14:14,136 --> 00:14:15,122 Really? 319 00:14:15,336 --> 00:14:18,832 Unfortunately...I forgot the ice chips. 320 00:14:21,129 --> 00:14:22,081 ICE CHIPS! 321 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:23,992 Dude, help! I'm totally stuck! 322 00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,264 Why don't you just yank it out? 323 00:14:26,041 --> 00:14:27,128 I would not do that. 324 00:14:28,848 --> 00:14:30,959 That's how it happened! 325 00:14:31,152 --> 00:14:33,993 Ice chips! Ice chips! Ice ice! Chips chips! 326 00:14:34,935 --> 00:14:36,039 Hey, guys. 327 00:14:37,629 --> 00:14:39,583 Carla, let me just see how far you can reach here. 328 00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:40,887 Okay, perfect. 329 00:14:41,429 --> 00:14:43,062 Turk would like you to call him 330 00:14:43,127 --> 00:14:44,743 because he's stuck in an ice machine. 331 00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:46,327 What?!?! 332 00:14:47,006 --> 00:14:48,597 See, that's why I took the precaution. Heh. 333 00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:53,847 Kim, would you be a sweetie and give Turk a call for me? 334 00:14:53,933 --> 00:14:55,101 Yes, ma'am. 335 00:14:56,006 --> 00:14:57,136 Hey, baby, look, I... 336 00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,054 Yeah, he..he's right here. 337 00:15:01,362 --> 00:15:02,348 She won't talk to me. 338 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:03,579 Hi. 339 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,923 Yes, I know he missed your wedding, too. 340 00:15:07,612 --> 00:15:08,483 All right, hold on. 341 00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,020 That was from her, not me. 342 00:15:11,699 --> 00:15:12,386 Go. 343 00:15:14,587 --> 00:15:16,498 Relax, I'll have him out in one second. 344 00:15:17,396 --> 00:15:18,162 All right, hold still 345 00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:19,426 nobody likes a jagged stump. 346 00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:20,259 NOOO! 347 00:15:22,475 --> 00:15:23,540 He's being unreasonable. 348 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:25,029 Okay. 349 00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:30,848 That was from me. 350 00:15:38,261 --> 00:15:39,419 you decided what you wanna do? 351 00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:42,555 You know what, neither one of us should have to go first. 352 00:15:42,669 --> 00:15:45,226 How about, on the count of three, we both say what we think we should do. 353 00:15:45,419 --> 00:15:46,075 Okay. 354 00:15:46,268 --> 00:15:46,761 One, 355 00:15:46,859 --> 00:15:47,466 two, 356 00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:48,155 three. 357 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,266 - I got nothing. - Appletinis. 358 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,092 So, you guys gonna keep it? 359 00:15:53,012 --> 00:15:57,276 - Um, maybe...we--well, if we do--we can--then we...maybe not. - Um, we don't--prob--well, there's a lot to con--because--we'll probably 360 00:15:57,565 --> 00:15:58,395 - ...maybe not. - ...maybe not. 361 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,612 You know, I had an abortion. 362 00:16:01,988 --> 00:16:03,675 All right, Jacky, as promised, 363 00:16:03,781 --> 00:16:05,388 let's go find ourselves a li'l stethoscope 364 00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,404 so you can hear what your butt sounds like. 365 00:16:08,941 --> 00:16:10,418 Daddy, what's an abortion? 366 00:16:11,075 --> 00:16:12,268 Enjoy. 367 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:18,010 My mommy had an abortion. My mommy had an abortion.... 368 00:16:20,492 --> 00:16:21,499 How you doin'? 369 00:16:24,058 --> 00:16:25,865 Okay, Janitor, Carla's starting to push, tell Turk. 370 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:26,864 Got it. 371 00:16:27,368 --> 00:16:28,394 Your baby has a tail. 372 00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:31,415 I told her to stay away from the microwave. 373 00:16:33,604 --> 00:16:34,887 Ahhh! Elliot, I can't do it! 374 00:16:35,558 --> 00:16:37,246 I want you to imagine that your uterus 375 00:16:37,358 --> 00:16:38,646 is like a tube of toothpaste, 376 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,421 and you're just trying to squeeze out all that minty fresh gel. 377 00:16:41,629 --> 00:16:42,919 But instead of minty fresh gel inside, 378 00:16:43,014 --> 00:16:44,991 there's a little black baby. 379 00:16:46,887 --> 00:16:48,511 We have a prolapsed umbilical cord. 380 00:16:48,606 --> 00:16:49,541 She needs a C-section right now. 381 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,958 Put Turk on the phone, dammit! 382 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,237 Baby! Listen. 383 00:16:54,629 --> 00:16:56,772 I'm not angry that you got stuck, 384 00:16:56,927 --> 00:16:58,462 I know you were just trying to be nice, 385 00:16:58,693 --> 00:17:02,421 because you're a good-hearted, wonderful, thoughtful man. But listen to me: 386 00:17:02,976 --> 00:17:04,663 They're giving me a C-section, 387 00:17:04,938 --> 00:17:08,320 and I'm really scared. And I need you to be here right now! 388 00:17:10,165 --> 00:17:11,165 Something about a C-section. 389 00:17:11,845 --> 00:17:12,486 Smile! 390 00:17:22,997 --> 00:17:23,741 Almost there. 391 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,030 Almost there. 392 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:28,094 Baby! I'm here! 393 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:29,982 Turk! I'm scared! 394 00:17:30,709 --> 00:17:32,533 Sorry, Dr. Turk. No ice machines. 395 00:17:33,509 --> 00:17:34,151 Noo! 396 00:17:37,271 --> 00:17:38,414 I was nineteen 397 00:17:38,597 --> 00:17:40,551 and working on Nantucket as a waitress, 398 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,709 and dating this amazing guy named Andy.. 399 00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:45,527 with curly blond hair 400 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:46,709 and dimples 401 00:17:46,806 --> 00:17:48,415 and eyes that were either 402 00:17:48,517 --> 00:17:52,103 sky blue...powder blue. I could never figure out which... 403 00:17:53,437 --> 00:17:55,558 Anyway, his best friend, Curt, knocked me up. 404 00:17:57,846 --> 00:17:58,830 Don't look at me like that. 405 00:17:58,926 --> 00:18:00,847 That was the first guy I had ever slept with. 406 00:18:01,349 --> 00:18:02,645 Oh, we're not judging you. 407 00:18:03,287 --> 00:18:04,534 whore! 408 00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:06,094 I think about it from time to time, 409 00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:08,311 but it would have been the biggest mistake 410 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,543 to have that baby. 411 00:18:09,685 --> 00:18:11,013 We've talked, we've made lists, 412 00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:14,655 and we've been as logical as we can here, and we've still got nothin'. 413 00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,255 It's not a logical decision. 414 00:18:16,357 --> 00:18:18,060 If it's right, you'll feel it in your heart. 415 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,652 Yeah, but what if we don't feel anything? 416 00:18:22,215 --> 00:18:23,720 Maybe that's your answer. 417 00:18:27,670 --> 00:18:29,084 Carla's having a C-section. 418 00:18:34,039 --> 00:18:36,931 Jordan, you...you okay? 419 00:18:37,588 --> 00:18:39,292 My mommy had an abortion. 420 00:18:39,979 --> 00:18:41,683 She sure did, sweetie. 421 00:18:43,851 --> 00:18:45,446 How are my boys? 422 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,245 What's going on? 423 00:18:50,843 --> 00:18:52,162 They're about to start 424 00:18:53,394 --> 00:18:54,130 Turkleton! 425 00:18:54,852 --> 00:18:57,644 If you are trying to get the same five million dollar 426 00:18:57,828 --> 00:18:59,999 settlement that damn hook-handed security guard got, 427 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,000 you're outta luck, stud. 428 00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:04,258 Because I put a little release button right here on top. 429 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:12,947 Well, what are you waiting for, son? Get in there. 430 00:19:17,947 --> 00:19:19,162 How you doin', beautiful? 431 00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:21,394 Turk, you're here...! 432 00:19:22,988 --> 00:19:24,155 I'm so hot.... 433 00:19:25,395 --> 00:19:26,465 Oh, don't sweat it. 434 00:19:27,324 --> 00:19:28,739 I got ya. 435 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,236 Guys. 436 00:19:37,185 --> 00:19:38,331 I have an announcement. 437 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,762 Miguel, please! 438 00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:42,860 The baby's out, 439 00:19:42,987 --> 00:19:44,266 but the cord was wrapped around its neck, 440 00:19:44,547 --> 00:19:46,298 so...we had to take it to the NICU. 441 00:19:46,876 --> 00:19:48,715 They say you never realize your capacity to love 442 00:19:48,844 --> 00:19:50,426 until you have a child. 443 00:19:51,138 --> 00:19:52,530 It can change who you are... 444 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,722 Where do babies come from? 445 00:19:57,346 --> 00:19:58,723 "Where do babies come from? 446 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,041 When a mommy 447 00:20:06,183 --> 00:20:09,489 and a daddy love each other very, very much, 448 00:20:10,289 --> 00:20:12,167 sometimes they close their eyes... 449 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:14,799 and they make a wish. 450 00:20:20,329 --> 00:20:21,690 ...they can fill you with joy... 451 00:20:22,441 --> 00:20:23,567 Ladies and gentlemen, 452 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,322 I would like to introduce you 453 00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:27,569 to Isabella Turk. 454 00:20:27,775 --> 00:20:30,304 I'm a daddy. I'm a daddy! 455 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,463 ...it can even give your heart 456 00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:51,519 the answer you thought you'd never find. 457 00:20:58,249 --> 00:20:59,290 Let's do this. 458 00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:05,064 [High-Five Team] 459 00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:16,064 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 460 00:21:16,114 --> 00:21:20,664 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32702

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