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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:05,832
One reason interns have so
much trouble putting in chest tubes
2
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:09,636
is because it is a violent procedure.
You must not be scared, though.
3
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:12,576
You need to use force to get
the tube between the ribs,
4
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:16,411
then pop it through the pleura. What
do you say there, Lis? You can do this.
5
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:19,418
Uh, Dr. Cox, I'm not so sure
I'm comfortable with this.
6
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:22,922
- You lost my teaching mannequin.
- I don't know what happened to it.
7
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,956
Hello, carpool lane.
8
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:31,154
[Janitor] What movie do you want to see?
9
00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:34,164
Inserting chest tube.
10
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,498
Lisa! God, he was joking!
11
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:39,538
Yes, I was, Lisa.
Now take the rest of the afternoon off
12
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,164
and think about what you did.
13
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,765
This is a warning, people.
14
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:46,471
Anybody else who hurts Keith is going
to get the same treatment as Lisa.
15
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,843
Good day.
16
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:51,281
Nothing like watching
your boyfriend get humiliated daily.
17
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:53,550
Purple nurple!
18
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,314
[Screaming]
19
00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:01,483
Baby, look at this! I'm starting to look
like a big fat pregnant lady.
20
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,655
No, you're not. You look like
you let yourself go a little.
21
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,392
[Crying]
22
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,934
OK, that came out wrong.
But baby, it's OK.
23
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:12,836
You're overreacting because your
pregnancy hormones are taking over.
24
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:17,172
It's fine. These past few days,
your moods have changed like that.
25
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,302
That is not true!
26
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:22,276
- That's cool.
- I'm sorry.
27
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:24,509
Let me kiss the owie.
Kiss the owie.
28
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:29,755
Baby. Oh, I want to do it right now.
29
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,087
You don't want to
do it now. This'll pass.
30
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,559
This is happening.
31
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:40,261
You're damn right this is happening.
32
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:42,894
My mom.
33
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:48,201
I can't believe she'll
never meet her grandchild.
34
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,243
Do you want to start with kissing,
or get to the good stuff?
35
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,278
What is wrong with you?
36
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,781
When will you learn?
[Groaning]
37
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,181
[J.D.] Turk talkingto a new staff member.
38
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,281
Give her a special treat and say hello.
39
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,121
Hello!
40
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:09,559
J.D., I'm sure you know Kim Briggs.
41
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,756
Uh, no, you big knucklehead, I don't.
42
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:15,357
On behalf of everyone
here at Sacred Heart,
43
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:18,165
I'd like to say konichiwa.
44
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:21,537
- I've been here five years, big guy.
- I know that, Kim.
45
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:25,339
It's a game. What's your name? Turk.
What's that guy's name? I don't know.
46
00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:28,778
It's a patient. Looks like a Dave.
Are you Dave? We don't know.
47
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,112
- Torture him about this.
- Will do.
48
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,446
Peace out.
49
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:35,545
How come I never
noticed her before?
50
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,920
Because she wears a wedding ring.
51
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,892
You don't notice women
who wear wedding rings.
52
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:44,296
- [Turk] Kim was here on your first day.
- That's enough.
53
00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:46,591
[Turk] She was at Ben's funeral.
54
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:50,530
- Dude, she's been around.
- Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
55
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,162
Ne-me-ne-meMe-me-me-me-me
56
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:56,299
So because she wears a wedding ring,
she's invisible to me?
57
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,640
- Yes.
- Please, T. I'm not that shallow.
58
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:02,078
Oh, really? Will all women
who are married in the area
59
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,013
please remove your wedding rings?
60
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:05,414
[Scoffs]
61
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,283
Thank you.
62
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,583
Dr. Feinberg?
63
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:12,386
Anastasia?
64
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,289
Gift shop girl.
65
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,123
Hey, J.D.
66
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,723
- I thought you died.
- No, I just got married.
67
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,824
But I sent your family flowers.
68
00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:24,802
I know. You bought them from me.
It was kind of weird.
69
00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:30,100
- Gift shop girl!
- [Girl] What?
70
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:33,242
- Stop that!
- Sorry.
71
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:43,316
I can't do this all on my own
72
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:49,328
I know that I'm no Superman
73
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:52,125
That's backwards.
It's been bugging me for years.
74
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,667
I'm no Superman
75
00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,690
How are we doing, Mr. Peters?
76
00:03:59,765 --> 00:04:02,825
[J.D.] I had checked up on Kim.She got along with everybody.
77
00:04:02,901 --> 00:04:04,232
All the guys liked her.
78
00:04:04,303 --> 00:04:08,069
Cover up, sailors. Chick on deck. I need
extra towels for the ladies' room.
79
00:04:08,173 --> 00:04:09,538
Oh, I got a towel for you.
80
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,606
Yah!
81
00:04:13,679 --> 00:04:16,443
- [Fast swishing sound]
- Thanks, Todd.
82
00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:19,311
All the women liked her.
83
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,818
[Fast swishing sound]
84
00:04:22,688 --> 00:04:25,316
I just love that every woman
knows how to do that.
85
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:28,052
She even got alongwith the greasers.
86
00:04:28,126 --> 00:04:32,893
I know everyone gives you a hard time,
but trust me, this look is coming back.
87
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:37,396
I never got a synchronized snapfrom the greasers.
88
00:04:37,469 --> 00:04:41,428
Mr. Peters, having a gal urologist
might seem a little uncomfortable,
89
00:04:41,506 --> 00:04:44,168
but the penis is
just another excretory organ,
90
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:46,404
so let's take the stigma off of it.
91
00:04:46,478 --> 00:04:49,811
Now, this is the length
of the average penis.
92
00:04:50,549 --> 00:04:52,073
What?!
93
00:04:52,951 --> 00:04:54,646
That seems about right.
94
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,178
Good for you. I was just messing
with Dr. Dorian over there.
95
00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:00,817
You know what?
I'm not talking to any of you guys.
96
00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:04,551
I know, right?
97
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,825
You lie...!
98
00:05:06,898 --> 00:05:08,661
Oh, my God!
99
00:05:10,702 --> 00:05:15,002
Keith, I know we have plans tonight,
but I am way too tired.
100
00:05:15,073 --> 00:05:17,234
No problem.
I'll call you tomorrow.
101
00:05:20,479 --> 00:05:24,176
Hey, girls. Listen,
Perry got uppity with me for,
102
00:05:24,249 --> 00:05:28,015
and I quote, "spending $20,000
we don't have on shoes,"
103
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,180
so to get back at him,
I'm treating everyone to drinks.
104
00:05:31,256 --> 00:05:34,589
- I'll go.
- You told Keith you were too tired.
105
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:38,187
I think Keith and I might be done.
106
00:05:38,263 --> 00:05:39,389
What?!
107
00:05:41,867 --> 00:05:44,301
Dorian, can I borrow
that pencil for a second?
108
00:05:44,369 --> 00:05:46,132
Just one second? Thank you.
109
00:05:46,872 --> 00:05:49,932
[Fake Italian accent] Oh, no.
I snapped the pencil.
110
00:05:50,008 --> 00:05:52,977
- It's from my standup act.
- Where do you perform?
111
00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:55,638
I'm at the Giggle Pit
every Monday at sunup.
112
00:05:55,714 --> 00:05:58,581
- I'll have to come by sometime.
- Do it, man.
113
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,210
Wait, I'm mad at you.
You stole my video camera
114
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,153
with the scenes from Dr. Acula,
the movie I'm making.
115
00:06:04,222 --> 00:06:05,849
Why do you think I stole it?
116
00:06:05,924 --> 00:06:09,485
I was surfing the hospital's Web site
and I saw that someone posted
117
00:06:09,561 --> 00:06:12,530
the "Dr. Acula delivers
a baby then eats it" scene.
118
00:06:12,597 --> 00:06:15,566
Someone with the screen name "Rotinaj."
119
00:06:15,634 --> 00:06:18,899
"Rotinaj" is just "Janitor"
spelled backwards, Rotinaj.
120
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,472
Morning, Dr. Rotinaj.
121
00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:23,701
Good morning, Mr. Clean-Up-Man.
122
00:06:25,644 --> 00:06:29,671
Mr. Peters, I looked at your CT scan
and I recommend we don't do surgery.
123
00:06:29,748 --> 00:06:31,215
Great.
124
00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:34,218
This is goodbye,
but I leave you in the capable hands
125
00:06:34,286 --> 00:06:37,016
of Dr. John D. Dorian.
126
00:06:37,089 --> 00:06:38,420
You take care.
127
00:06:39,291 --> 00:06:42,226
I gave you a new middle initial.
It reassures patients.
128
00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:45,195
The "D" stands for "Dallas"
because I told Mr. Peters
129
00:06:45,263 --> 00:06:48,824
that's where I lost my virginity.
Don't know how we got down that path.
130
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:51,733
Something about that old man
makes me want to open up.
131
00:06:51,803 --> 00:06:53,498
I hope you like your new initial.
132
00:06:53,572 --> 00:06:55,335
I don't mind it a turtle's wink.
133
00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:58,774
Wait, you only pepper yourconversation with cute animal imagery
134
00:06:58,844 --> 00:06:59,970
if you're smitten.
135
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:03,537
- Could you lend me a pen?
- Quick as a porcupine's hiccup.
136
00:07:03,615 --> 00:07:06,482
[Sexy jazz music]
137
00:07:08,754 --> 00:07:11,450
All right, there's onlyone problem with this.
138
00:07:11,523 --> 00:07:13,548
[Record scratches and music stops]
139
00:07:13,625 --> 00:07:15,786
OK, see ya, J.D.
140
00:07:16,528 --> 00:07:17,552
Kim, wait.
141
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:22,663
Unfortunately, there's no way
I can make you mine,
142
00:07:22,768 --> 00:07:24,326
unless I make you mine...
143
00:07:25,937 --> 00:07:27,871
...for eternity.
144
00:07:27,939 --> 00:07:31,568
Dr. Acula, don't stop!
145
00:07:37,682 --> 00:07:39,912
Vampires like it windy.
146
00:07:41,486 --> 00:07:44,649
Why are you breaking up with Keith?
147
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,690
Look, Keith is sweet,
148
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,226
but after watching him
get walked on again,
149
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,592
I feel like I need
a stronger man in my life.
150
00:07:51,663 --> 00:07:55,724
I want what you have, someone to stand
up for me when I need it, you know?
151
00:07:55,801 --> 00:07:57,530
Someone as confident as Turk
152
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,832
or as brave as Dr. Cox or as...
153
00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:05,776
I'm sorry, I don't know your husband.
What are some of his good qualities?
154
00:08:05,844 --> 00:08:09,371
Well, he was a roadie for Jimi Hendrix,
and when it rains,
155
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,211
he carries me to the car.
156
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:14,116
And you guys have
been together, what, 60 years?
157
00:08:14,186 --> 00:08:16,654
I'm 48, and I'm done here.
158
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,886
My bad. Yeah.
159
00:08:20,525 --> 00:08:22,390
I don't want Keith to go.
160
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:25,021
Elliot, I don't want Keith to go!
[Crying]
161
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,098
There, there.
162
00:08:28,266 --> 00:08:32,635
What? "I'm pregnant. I'm crying.
I'm laughing." Enough already!
163
00:08:32,737 --> 00:08:33,863
It's boring.
164
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,105
Listen up, nametags.
165
00:08:37,175 --> 00:08:40,144
I need to wire some cash
to my son so he can make bail.
166
00:08:40,245 --> 00:08:44,409
Apparently, the musical he was producing
was just a front for a crystal meth lab.
167
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:48,442
Here's the kicker: He fled to Toronto.
The freaking Mounties are involved.
168
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:52,889
Anyhoo, I need somebody to
zip out to my house and grab $400.
169
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,424
I'll do it.
170
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:57,018
I shouldn't be mopping here anyway.
This is a rug.
171
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,028
[Sloshing]
172
00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:01,827
Don't let him in your house, sir.
173
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,926
He'll steal everything you've got
like he stole my camera.
174
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,335
You know the difference
between you and me?
175
00:09:07,405 --> 00:09:09,771
Your melon-sized prostate, sir?
176
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:13,436
I will never fear this man.
177
00:09:13,545 --> 00:09:17,106
- You think I'm afraid of you, chief?
- No, sir, I do not.
178
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:20,913
Look, I keep my extra cash in a pickle
jar on the top shelf over the sink.
179
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:29,156
Enid wants that jar so bad
she can taste it. [chuckling]
180
00:09:29,227 --> 00:09:30,489
Oh, right.
181
00:09:30,562 --> 00:09:34,396
You don't remember she's paralyzed
and can't stand out of her wheelchair.
182
00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:37,401
- That's why you're not laughing.
- No, Bob.
183
00:09:37,469 --> 00:09:40,029
We're not laughing
because we're all horrified.
184
00:09:41,072 --> 00:09:42,733
Well, it tickles me.
185
00:09:44,776 --> 00:09:47,301
[Sloshing]
186
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,869
Huh.
187
00:09:49,781 --> 00:09:53,547
OK, honey, I know Elliot upset you
with this whole Keith thing,
188
00:09:53,618 --> 00:09:55,085
but listen,
189
00:09:55,153 --> 00:09:59,419
we're all gonna be extra, extra
sensitive so you don't get riled up, OK?
190
00:10:00,191 --> 00:10:02,682
I'm wearing red.
Should I not be wearing red?
191
00:10:02,761 --> 00:10:04,729
She's pregnant, she's not a bull.
192
00:10:04,829 --> 00:10:07,525
I know you think I'm just
being crazy, but Elliot,
193
00:10:07,599 --> 00:10:10,363
you should not give up on Keith.
194
00:10:10,468 --> 00:10:13,767
You say he's not strong enough because
he gets stepped on at work,
195
00:10:13,838 --> 00:10:15,601
but that's what it's like.
196
00:10:15,674 --> 00:10:19,007
You're doing what we do when we
get into a serious relationship,
197
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,375
freaking out and
trying to poke holes in it.
198
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:24,745
Remember when I started dating Turk
and I wanted to bail on him
199
00:10:24,816 --> 00:10:26,647
because he cried at the end of sex?
200
00:10:26,718 --> 00:10:28,777
- Baby!
- Relax, Brown Bear.
201
00:10:28,853 --> 00:10:31,014
There's no shame in cry-maxing.
202
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,616
And you know how hard
single life can be. Just ask Kim.
203
00:10:34,693 --> 00:10:36,456
Wait. Kim's single?
204
00:10:36,528 --> 00:10:38,792
Yeah. She's been divorced
for over a year.
205
00:10:38,863 --> 00:10:41,832
She wears the ring at the hospital
so she doesn't get hit on.
206
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,696
Turk, keys!
207
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,971
Yahtzee!
208
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:58,679
Hey, girl. What are you doing?
Want to get some coffee later?
209
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,480
- And then, the ultimate Cox-block.
- [Cox whistles]
210
00:11:01,553 --> 00:11:04,283
Hey. Why isn't Mr. Peters
in there getting surgery?
211
00:11:04,356 --> 00:11:06,119
I decided against it.
212
00:11:06,191 --> 00:11:09,126
She thought it would be best
if I treated him medically.
213
00:11:09,194 --> 00:11:12,652
First of all, Newbie,
nobody's ever thought that, ever.
214
00:11:12,731 --> 00:11:15,199
Secondly, she's a cutter.
215
00:11:15,266 --> 00:11:18,292
When is the last time you met
a cutter who didn't want to cut?
216
00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:22,466
Laverne, you've been here 40 years now.
You ever heard of such a thing?
217
00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:25,100
I'm gonna kill somebody.
218
00:11:25,176 --> 00:11:28,543
I guess we all get mad when peoplesay things we don't want to hear.
219
00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,274
Elliot!
220
00:11:30,348 --> 00:11:33,112
I'm sorry, but you can't
leave until you promise me
221
00:11:33,184 --> 00:11:34,913
you'll think about it with Keith.
222
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:39,150
Oh, my God, Carla! Will you
please just butt out of this one?
223
00:11:41,726 --> 00:11:44,092
Especially when things feel a bit fishy.
224
00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:48,691
- Here's your cash.
- Oh, thanks.
225
00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:50,701
Hey, is that a new coat?
226
00:11:50,769 --> 00:11:52,464
Yeah. Just picked it up.
227
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,596
Where did you get the money to buy it?
228
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:57,938
Mmm, I don't think that's
any business of yours.
229
00:12:03,615 --> 00:12:05,981
Still, it's always goodto hear the truth.
230
00:12:06,084 --> 00:12:08,985
Surgery is really
the only thing that has a shot
231
00:12:09,054 --> 00:12:10,612
at curing this guy,
232
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,157
and the reason that
she's not going to do it
233
00:12:13,224 --> 00:12:16,557
is he's older and has heart issues,
which makes him high risk.
234
00:12:16,628 --> 00:12:20,564
And if he were to drop dead
on her operating table, well,
235
00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:23,692
that would make her
surgery stats go down.
236
00:12:23,768 --> 00:12:28,137
And that wouldn't look very good on
a young doctor's r�sum�, would it?
237
00:12:28,239 --> 00:12:31,572
Even if it means losing respectfor someone you might like.
238
00:12:31,643 --> 00:12:34,373
What can I say? You got me.
239
00:12:35,447 --> 00:12:36,880
Damn.
240
00:12:41,619 --> 00:12:44,349
Hold on. Dr. Turk,
241
00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:48,381
I covered your gastric-bypass patient
last night. He left a message for you.
242
00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:52,191
- What'd he say?
- You are square.
243
00:12:53,431 --> 00:12:56,093
- [Greasers laughing]
- [Tires squealing]
244
00:12:59,037 --> 00:13:01,335
Stupid greasers.
245
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:02,873
Oh, here comes Kim.
246
00:13:02,941 --> 00:13:04,602
She had all night to think.
247
00:13:04,676 --> 00:13:07,509
She'll probably be
in a shame spiral. Let's enjoy it.
248
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:10,707
- Oh, hey, fellas, how you living?
- Large!
249
00:13:10,782 --> 00:13:12,943
What!
250
00:13:14,152 --> 00:13:16,086
What, was I not supposed to answer?
251
00:13:16,154 --> 00:13:18,884
I wasn't the only onehaving relationship problems.
252
00:13:20,358 --> 00:13:22,792
Sorry about the way I left last night.
253
00:13:22,861 --> 00:13:24,294
We're OK, right?
254
00:13:24,362 --> 00:13:27,695
Until you receive further notice,
consider us not speaking.
255
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:31,725
I know you took my money
to buy that ridiculous coat.
256
00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:34,271
I bet you can't prove it.
257
00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:40,940
Enid, you are my eyewitness.
258
00:13:41,012 --> 00:13:44,038
Did he take more than $400?
259
00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:47,482
Enid, is that a new pantsuit?
260
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,784
You think you're
pretty smart, don't you?
261
00:13:50,855 --> 00:13:54,416
All I think is that leather
never goes out of style,
262
00:13:54,492 --> 00:13:58,053
and if you keep money in a pickle jar,
you should know how much is there,
263
00:13:58,163 --> 00:14:01,064
and it won't hurt to buy your invalid
wife something nice
264
00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:02,997
so she can feel pretty.
265
00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:06,696
These are just general thoughts
about life, nothing specific to you.
266
00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:12,508
- Mmm, that was nice. Thank you.
- That wasn't me.
267
00:14:12,577 --> 00:14:14,704
- Hey, dudes.
- Don't "hey, dudes" us.
268
00:14:14,779 --> 00:14:18,340
- You know what bothers me?
- Non-threatening colloquial greetings?
269
00:14:18,416 --> 00:14:22,910
It bothers me that a doctor won't help a
patient so she could keep her stats up.
270
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,955
- Yeah!
- Look, J.D.
271
00:14:25,023 --> 00:14:27,856
Surgery's competitive.
We do what we must to get ahead.
272
00:14:27,926 --> 00:14:29,621
My best friend here's a surgeon,
273
00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:32,857
and he'd never pass
on risky surgery to keep his stats up.
274
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:35,092
Actually, I have done that.
275
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,760
- Everyone has.
- Oh, my God!
276
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:40,805
Out of here! Dr. Cox, please weigh in.
277
00:14:40,872 --> 00:14:44,638
Well, it's no secret how I feel
about surgeons. I hate them.
278
00:14:44,742 --> 00:14:47,438
I'd liken them to rocks,
but that would insult rocks
279
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:51,039
because, you see, at least rocks
are useful to society.
280
00:14:51,115 --> 00:14:55,415
We build bridges, throw them at guys
wearing phones clipped to their heads.
281
00:14:55,486 --> 00:14:59,149
It's a phone. You can't do this?
282
00:14:59,224 --> 00:15:02,682
- However...
- Now, back to the crux of the matter.
283
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,489
Hit her, Per!
284
00:15:04,562 --> 00:15:07,929
However, it is not Dr. Briggs' fault
285
00:15:07,999 --> 00:15:10,024
that she works in a broken system.
286
00:15:10,101 --> 00:15:12,865
Top hospitals are only
interested in hiring surgeons
287
00:15:12,971 --> 00:15:14,461
who they think are flawless.
288
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,871
That's not the answer you
thought you'd hear,
289
00:15:16,941 --> 00:15:19,603
but as always, I don't care.
290
00:15:21,779 --> 00:15:23,679
Thank God he didn't see this.
291
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:27,081
Yeah, Mom, I was listening
the whole time. I just couldn't talk.
292
00:15:27,151 --> 00:15:29,642
[Groans]
293
00:15:32,190 --> 00:15:34,488
[Kelso whistles]
294
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:38,723
Looks like somebody took their new
titanium eight iron with a leather grip
295
00:15:38,796 --> 00:15:41,492
and went to town on your van.
296
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,227
Well done, sir.
297
00:15:43,301 --> 00:15:45,667
What? You think I did it?
298
00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:48,432
Too bad you can't prove it.
299
00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:50,235
Really?
300
00:15:52,277 --> 00:15:54,438
I think I need to take more...
301
00:15:54,512 --> 00:15:56,241
... blood.
302
00:15:56,314 --> 00:15:58,282
What the hell is this?
303
00:15:58,383 --> 00:16:01,682
It's Dorian's camera. This must be
a scene from Dr. Acula.
304
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:05,689
You ain't taking no more bloodfrom my ho-slapping hand.
305
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,658
I will pimp slap you!
306
00:16:08,726 --> 00:16:11,490
This feels really racist, J.D.
307
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:14,121
- Why can't I be a vampire?- Because it's my movie!
308
00:16:14,198 --> 00:16:18,692
Now, let's take it from the top andI'm not gonna ask you again, blacker!
309
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,203
- Blacker.- Yes, please.
310
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,795
- Blacker.- [J.D. Screaming]
311
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,535
[Hissing]
312
00:16:27,745 --> 00:16:29,110
Now comes the good part.
313
00:16:29,547 --> 00:16:31,447
Prove that!
314
00:16:31,516 --> 00:16:33,848
And that! And that!
315
00:16:33,918 --> 00:16:37,183
And that! And that!
316
00:16:38,189 --> 00:16:40,282
Yeah!
317
00:16:41,225 --> 00:16:42,920
What do you want?
318
00:16:46,531 --> 00:16:48,499
So, hey, I thought you
might be hungry.
319
00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:51,057
You enjoyed the pancakes
I left on the computer?
320
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:54,969
No, but I enjoyed the 3,000 ants
crawling on my keyboard.
321
00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:57,007
There's two doing it on the F button.
322
00:16:57,108 --> 00:17:00,043
I could be wrong,
but it looks like two girls.
323
00:17:00,111 --> 00:17:03,274
- What do you want, Elliot?
- I wanted to apologize.
324
00:17:03,381 --> 00:17:05,747
- Well, save it.
- Look, Carla, I...
325
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:08,183
You must be bored
with this friendship
326
00:17:08,252 --> 00:17:10,311
when all you do
is take, take, take.
327
00:17:10,388 --> 00:17:13,414
The most embarrassing thing is
you don't realize you do it.
328
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,459
Because, at the end of the day,
329
00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:19,223
you're nothing but a spoiled, selfish,
neurotic girl from Connecticut
330
00:17:19,297 --> 00:17:21,356
who has absolutely
no idea how to...
331
00:17:21,432 --> 00:17:23,093
OK, that's enough!
332
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,500
I don't know what you are fighting
about, but it doesn't matter.
333
00:17:26,571 --> 00:17:30,701
No one's allowed to be that mean to my
girl, especially when she's apologizing.
334
00:17:30,775 --> 00:17:35,041
- Are we clear?
- [JD] Nobody speaks to Carla like that.
335
00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:37,081
It was cool getting to know you, man.
336
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,741
The irony was Keith wasyelling at the one woman
337
00:17:41,819 --> 00:17:43,946
who was tryingto save his relationship.
338
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,089
I'm sorry, Elliot.
339
00:17:47,158 --> 00:17:50,184
And even more ironicwas that it looked like she had.
340
00:17:51,095 --> 00:17:54,189
- Thanks for standing up for me.
- Yeah, totally.
341
00:17:56,134 --> 00:17:59,103
I think Elliot finally seeingwho Keith really was
342
00:17:59,170 --> 00:18:01,730
made me understandwhy I was so upset with Kim.
343
00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:06,003
[ Aqualung: Easier to Lie]
344
00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:09,503
Look who's happy again.
345
00:18:09,614 --> 00:18:12,378
- Yeah, well, it's just...
- J.D., one sec.
346
00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:15,247
I'm on the phone with my mom.
She just got her RV fixed.
347
00:18:15,353 --> 00:18:18,379
Mom, I gotta go.
You can call me from the road.
348
00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:20,623
My mom loves the road.
349
00:18:21,292 --> 00:18:24,193
I finally figured out
what bothers me so much about you.
350
00:18:24,262 --> 00:18:26,230
Well, lay it on me, studly.
351
00:18:26,297 --> 00:18:29,960
It's the way you're so concerned
about protecting yourself.
352
00:18:31,369 --> 00:18:35,100
I mean, no one in this entire hospital
has a bad thing to say about you,
353
00:18:35,173 --> 00:18:39,735
and I'm guessing that's because you're
careful not to rub anyone the wrong way.
354
00:18:40,645 --> 00:18:43,409
And you still wear your wedding ring.
355
00:18:43,481 --> 00:18:46,780
That prevents any guy
from getting anywhere near you.
356
00:18:46,851 --> 00:18:48,819
You wouldn't operate on Mr. Peters,
357
00:18:48,886 --> 00:18:52,617
and we both know how you're
protecting yourself there.
358
00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:57,127
I don't know. I guess, in the grand
scheme of things, it's not a big deal.
359
00:18:57,195 --> 00:19:00,426
I was a little disappointed to find out
who you turned out to be.
360
00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,501
I'll see you around, Kim.
361
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,469
See you.
362
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,971
- I don't want to do this.
- No problem.
363
00:19:15,046 --> 00:19:16,775
I'll give the tape to the police.
364
00:19:16,848 --> 00:19:20,716
Ladies and gentleman, this is
your chief of medicine, Bob Kelso.
365
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:24,346
"I feel compelled
to tell you that I do,
366
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,616
in fact, fear the Janitor.
367
00:19:26,691 --> 00:19:31,253
Honestly, is there anyone elsewith such a brilliant mind?"
368
00:19:31,362 --> 00:19:32,920
You planned this, didn't you?
369
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:36,262
The whole being mean thing,
so that Keith would stand up for me.
370
00:19:37,502 --> 00:19:39,265
Oh, thanks.
371
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:46,841
- You didn't plan a damn thing, did you?
- No, I snapped like a twig.
372
00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:48,936
Please don't tell her.
373
00:19:51,682 --> 00:19:54,651
Anyway, I guess peoplecan always surprise you.
374
00:19:55,052 --> 00:19:57,213
Who's Dr. Briggs operating on?
375
00:19:57,288 --> 00:19:59,153
Your patient, Mr. Peters.
376
00:19:59,223 --> 00:20:02,989
"So please join me in basking
377
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:06,086
in the glow of the Janitor's awesome:
378
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:09,693
...this isn't a word.
- Read it.
379
00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:13,830
"Fearitude." Good night.
380
00:20:16,107 --> 00:20:19,736
[Imitating Edward Murrow]
And good luck. I loved that movie.
381
00:20:21,812 --> 00:20:24,645
I saw you did that surgery
on Mr. Peters.
382
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,550
Did you decide
it was the right thing to do?
383
00:20:29,453 --> 00:20:32,581
No, actually, it was
a stupid career risk.
384
00:20:33,558 --> 00:20:35,048
Then why'd you do it?
385
00:20:37,161 --> 00:20:39,925
Because for some reason,
I find myself
386
00:20:39,997 --> 00:20:42,761
really caring about
what you think of me.
387
00:20:50,908 --> 00:20:52,205
Oh.
388
00:20:54,612 --> 00:20:55,772
Cool.
389
00:21:03,187 --> 00:21:05,155
[Kim chuckles]
390
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,958
391
00:00:01,958 --> 00:00:11,958
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