All language subtitles for Scrubs s04e25 My Changing Ways.eng

So here I am...

sitting on a box

in an empty apartment
with a dead dog

and a single tear on my cheek.

I can't help but wonder
how I got to this place.

Who are these guys?

These are the last 8 guys in the hospital
who don't realize I suck at basketball.

Ok, so here's what's gonna happen.

I finally masterd
my running hook shot, ok?

So when we go to pick teams,
I'm gonna hit that shot.

Then you say :

"I'll take that guy."

At which point Carla is gonna page me,

and I say "crap I gotta go"

and you go, "damn, we just lost
the best player out here."

Then there'll be 8 guys in the hospital
who think I'm good at sports

and the word will spread.

When do you find time
to see your patients?

Between these thoughts.

Oh, ok, let's play some ball.

I got that guy.

Elliot's boyfriend Jake
had given her

confidence to do things she'd
never been able to do before.

Ok, you ready to do this?

You know it.

Like talking to people while
she's on the toilet.

Ok. I know how comfortable
you are with Carla,

so I'm gonna have her do the talking,
all right? You just say when.

There's cheeks on the seat
and I'm feeling good.

Let's hear it.

Hello, Elliot.
How are you doing?

She went out the window.

Oh, Bob Kelso here before noon?

They're either giving away
free doughnuts at the cafe

or there's an asian prostitute
convention in the I.C.U.

Is now the time I'm supposed
to be embarrassed because

I like fine food and
Korean call girls?

Write this down, Perry:

I'm old and I honestly don't care what
people think about anything I do.

That was me, folks.

No, I'm here because
the budget's a mess.

Ted's not making much headway.

312 x 481 equals...

Sir, it's not giving me the answer.

It's a typewriter, you jackass!

Oh, god, it's got my tie!

Bob, this whole thing is only gonna take a
couple of days, so why not let Jordan do it?

Yes, she is a member of the board,

but, hell, that only gets her out of the house
once every couple of months or so.

And I know she loves our
son Jack with all her heart, but

I think spending every waking
moment with the child, I think--

I think it's starting to get to her.

I hate you.

So, what do you say there, Bobo?

Welcome aboard.

This will be your office
for the next few days.

Ted, find someplace else to work.

Oh, man! Not again!

If you need some happy pills,
they're in the top drawer.

In this hellhole, I'll need a gun.

Bottom left.

Yo, can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

Why are we lying on the parking lot?

Your hook shot
knocked you unconscious,

so I lied down next to you so everyone
would just think we were chilling.

Oh, thanks, S.C.B.

By the way, I should tell you something.

I found an apartment. I'm moving
out the day after tomorrow.

Wow.

Yeah.

What does S.C.B. Mean?

Super Chocolate Bear.

- I love it.
- I knew you would.

Subtitles by
Elanouil, Raceman, nColas and Sulina

Scrubs episode 4x25
My Changing Ways

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Someone stole a whole case of
laxatives from the supply closet.

Don't look at me.
I'm as regular as rain.

Who wants a piece of pie?

Who made it?

Let's say my mom.

As a doctor, you get good
at piecing things together.

- Someone stole a case of laxatives.
- Who wants a piece of pie?

This one was obvious.

No, thank you.

Free pie?
Hell, yeah.

I can't believe you two have
lived together for 12 years.

Do you remember our first day together?

Yo, they call me Chris one.
What's the dealio?

Welcome to our lair.

I'm an eighth-level ogre magi with
invisibility, and this is Randal.

You were such a dork.

I'm glad nothing else
around here's changing.

You see, this is the time of year where
everybody leaves for new jobs,

but Turk's got
another year of residency.

Yeah, and J.D. and I just took
positions here as staff internists.

Was that what you wanted to do?

There was an endocrinology fellowship
with this amazing doctor over at County,

but it's a little over my head.

So you took a fallback job 'cause
you were afraid to go for it?

Uh, Jake, is it?

- Yeah, it's--
- I know your name, Jake.

I'm being condescending.

It's Jake, right?

Look, no one here is settling.

Here at Sacred Heart, you get to work with
some of the finest doctors in the country.

Out of my way!

I got a doozy of a two-sie!

All right, then.
Before we jump into rounds,

I see it's time for my annual cologne intervention.

Lonnie, you're killing us.
And honestly, what's the point?

Do you understand that no
matter how badly you want to get freaky

with Karen here, that's
just not going to happen.

And here's why : she thinks
you have the body of a fetus.

Oh, Karen, did you tell
me that in confidence?

No, he knows.

She drew me a picture.

Don't sweat it too much, kid.

He wore so much cologne on our first date,
I had to sell my miata.

Why?

For funsies.

Heel.

Thank you for that.

Keep moving, fetus-face.

Come here, boy!
Come on, rowdy!

No, you come here, eat your steak!

What are you doing?

Well, whoever Rowdy goes to first,
he gets to keep him.

Rowdy, if you come to me,
I'll scratch your special region.

So you moved back
all the furniture

and defrosted our dinner with your
sweaty hands for a joke?

Yeah, we did.

If he stays, I'll drive him out to
the country and leave him there.

He's mine.

I can't believe you talked me into this.

I will never get this fellowship.
I don't interview well.

It's the reason
I didn't get into Harvard.

The second the professor asked me what
I hoped to accomplish in college,

my nose started bleeding, and I sneezed
and splattered his shirt with blood.

Damn it, Elliot, how many people
do you have to talk to while you're peeing

before you start
believing in yourself?

You're right.

So, why are you
interested in this fellowship?

Well, first off, I have incredible
passion for the work you're doing.

I've heard that
you're an amazing doctor,

and I would be honored to have the
opportunity to work with you, Mr. Gold.

Have a great day, honey.

You have even a better one, you.
You do it!

Yeah, yeah. You have even a better one.

Perry, I get the feeling
something is bothering you.

Bob, people have a private life, and
people have a professional life, and,

usually, those 2 hells are kept
pretty separate. For instance,

I don't know that much
about your home life,

other than the fact that you treat your
wife like a dog, your dog like a wife,

and your son like an
androgynous ne'er-do-well

who drains your retirement nest egg to
open up a yarn shop in minneapolis.

Harrison posted his
first profit this quarter.

Aces.

And I'm guessing that's
because his significant other...

Terrence.

Terrence doesn't follow
him around the shop all day,

telling him just exactly
what color is in this season,

or showing all of
the other employees that

he is not, in fact, the boss
of his own life. You see,

the woman is everywhere.

She's there when
I work out in the morning,

when I work out in the
car on the way to work,

and when I work out
when I get to work.

I can't seem to get away from her,

and that used to be fine
when she just came around

for 5 minutes every month or so
to feed on my dignity,

but now, I'd honestly kill myself,
Bob, if I wasn'tconvinced that

Jordan would already be there, waiting for
me in the afterlife. You see, typical of her,

she went ahead and
signed us up for

an eternal tandem bike ride all
along the banks of the river Styx.

I'm so glad you shared.

How would you like to
make this a full time job?

I'll have to think about it.

How could you not see this coming?

Hooch just got in the shower.

Let the games begin.

Who the hell

put bouillion cubes in
the showerhead? Huh?

Did you do it?

Did you?!

If it happens again,

I will wait in my S.U.V.,

blast me some speed metal,
5.1 surround sound, heavy on the bass,

and someone will be getting mowed down.

Hooch is crazy.

I'm really gonna miss
this kind of stuff.

Why? We'll still be able to pull
pranks on him after you move out.

Yeah, but we won't be staying up till
6:00 in the morning

planning anything as genius as
the soup shower.

This is the end of an era,
super choc.

You know how you're prone to overly
sensitive girly displays of sentimentality?

Guilty.

Ok, now, if you reel it back
a little bit,

I'll get somebody to
cover for me tonight,

and I'll help you pack your stuff.

Can we cut words out of magazines that
represent how we feel about each other,

and glue them into a
"friends forever" collage?

Hell, no.

Oh. Can we drink beers and reminisce?

Hell, yes.

That's all I wanted to do anyway.

Plus, I already made the collage.

Now listen to me.

You gotta make tonight count

'cause you'll never be as cool as you were
when you were rollin' with

the big dog as a roommate, you know?

No, I didn't know.

Well, maybe Jake shouldn't have
pushed you into that interview.

Maybe I should've covered my mouth
when I sneezed blood the second time.

Oh, come on, Elliot.
He's always telling you what to do.

That's not true.

Hey, it's Jake.
Buzz me up.

Oh, my god, you're right.

Don't let him be your puppet master.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What's up?

I have a headache.

Take some aspirin.

Don't tell me what to do.
You're not the boss of me.

Ok, what just happened?

So, do you think I should take the job?

Perry?

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
I was just...

thinking about
this little boy in here.

He's only 8 years old,
and he's terminal.

I just hope his parents spent as much
time with him as they could.

You're here one minute,
and then the next, you're...

what, uh,

what were you saying?

Nothing.

Stick your hand out.

Good man.

Get yourself some ice cream.
Go on, get out of here.

J.D.,

I got a mondo 82-inch
pizza with our names on it!

Dude! It's hu...

Dude, what the hell? We're supposed to
hang, and all of a sudden you moved out?

It's hard to hide your emotions in
front of people who know you well.

Answer it.

Or don't.

Hello.

Like excitement about a new job...

I got the fellowship.

Or disappointment about
a lost opportunity.

I'm sorry, Bob.
I can't take the job.

Maybe next year.

As for me, I just didn't want Turk
to know that he'd hurt my feelings.

I don't know. I figured it
wasn't that big a deal.

Hey, I'm pretty tired from the move,
so I'm probably just gonna crash.

So famished.

Morning.

Yeah.

Turk didn't even realize
he pissed me off,

so explaining my feelings
to him was the smart move.

I took a slightly different tack.

That seat's taken, ass-face.

By who?

Hello there, chocolate bear 2.

Hooch?!
J.D., what the hell's going on here?

I replaced your ass.

By the by,

Johnny told me that you were responsible
for my brothy shower the other day.

If it happens again...

I'm gonna take one of your fingers.

That'll be my funny prank.

Hooch is crazy.

Oh, sorry. Old habit.

I wasn't the only unhappy
person in our hospital family.

Sure, Jake, I'll tell you why it feels
like I have a problem with you.

The fact that Elliot jumps so high whenever
you tell her to may seem harmless,

but as a result, she's been
stealing all my sports bras.

Seriously! The only one I have left is the
one I'm wearing, and it works great.

See? Huh?

it works pretty nicely.

It does, right?

But...if I wanna jump up and down again
this week, I'm stuck until laundry day.

Ok, I'm obviously gonna have to
guess what your point is here,

but I think it's that I control Elliot,
which I don't.

Here. Watch this.

Elliot, will you shove that guy?

Why would you do that?

I was trying to prove
you don't do everything I say.

Well, clue me in, stud.

That was creepy Carl.

He runs an upskirt website.

I'm on it.

Oh, yeah, Ted.
I moved the file cabinet.

I'm gonna miss this office.

Why? It smells like that odd combo of
flop sweat, hopelessness, and feet.

Yeah, I know.
It's just...

I guess this stupid job made me
feel valid again. You know?

You don't know.

It's ok.
See you at home.

Who's ready for a pie break?

- No.
-Come on. Why not?

Why don't you ask Todd?

Due to what can only be
described as epic diarrhea,

he's been on an I.V. drip for 36 hours.

Make it stop 5.

Maybe I was being unfair to Turk.

Maybe it's too much
to expect a friend

to just sense that you're upset
and want to talk about it.

Carla, I can sense you're upset.
Talk to me.

Ok, but Turk's
a prideful guy,

and it's hard for prideful guys to admit
when they've been insensitive.

Listen, Jordan,
I've been incredibly insensitive.

Touch�, magic hallway.

Bottom line, I should've had more faith
in my friend to come through for me.

Turk!

No, it's me, Hooch,
vanilla bear.

Hooch is crazy.

So, hooch, this is it.

Then things took a turn.

Say, where's rowdy?

"I'm at the hospital"?

There he is!

There he is!

Ok, he's going up.

I'll take the stairs. You don't let
anyone out of that elevator, ok?

Be strong, Hooch.

I'll try.

So where's chocolate bear number 2?

Who else thinks they're
faster than me, huh? Huh?

Yo, Hooch is seriously cazy.

Look, Carla, Jake makes me happy.

Plus there's a decent chance he'll be
my second serious boyfriend

not to end up in bed with
my mom or my brother Barry.

And he doesn't always
tell me what to do.

I mean, sure, he did tell me to
come up here and talk to you,

but I was gonna do that anyway
'cause I wanted to ask you

if I should wear hooker heels
or flats with my pink skirt

when we go celebrate
my new job tonight.

But instead I'm trying to figure
out what your problem is.

Look! I thought you were staying, ok?

I've been here for 11 years, and
it's always the same story.

I get really close to someone,
and they move on.

I don't want to be 50 making friends with
the new 25-year-old interns, Elliot.

They'll make fun of me
when we go dancing.

Not if I go with you.

And then they kiss?

Sorry.

Look at him.
What an angel.

Down, he's waking up.

Hey, jordan, um...

Look, I tried to guilt you
into not taking that job.

Really?

Look, I don't want to be one of those
moms that never sees her kids,

but I also don't want to be one of
those moms that stays at home

but then resents her kids 'cause she
wishes she was working so

she could go to an office and feel bad
about not being at home with her kids.

I was just worried that you
would think I was a bad mom.

Sweetie, you are an evil, soulless,
chemically enhanced battle-ax

that I truly doubt is 100% human, but...

You are an amazing mom.

Just say you're sorry, give me
a hug, and this'll all be over.

Why do I have to say I'm sorry?

Dude, I don't mean to
sound girly,

but for the last 12 years, you've
practically been like my wife.

How is that girly?

Look, before, when you said I'd never be
as cool as when I was living with you,

you know there's
some truth to that.

I'm sorta like odd and geeky and...
you've always sort of validated me.

J.D., you're just moving out.

Well, say things will be the same.

That's Carla.
I gotta go.

You're right.
Things are gonna be different.

But different doesn't always mean bad.

Just means different.

- Ok.
- All right.

No better pick-me-up than
a nice slice of mom's pie.

Why are you so obsessed with this?!

I don't know. I think it's 'cause this time,
I wasn't trying to mess with you.

Really?

Really.

Who would do this to himself?

Totally worth it.

As every piece of food I'd put
to my body in the last year

was rushing out of me,
it got me thinking.

The way some things never change
shines a light on the things that do.

Like when a new person
comes into the hospital to stay...

My office keys, Ted.

Can't believe I'm actually doing this.

You'll meet me out later, right?

Or an old friend leaves for good.

Sometimes the biggest changes are
a result of an impulsive decision.

I think we should have a baby.

I know you're feeling
abandoned right now,

but we just went through
a really rough spot,

And I'm not the type of guy
to make life-changing decisions

without thinking about it
for at least, like,

a few months.

Let's make a baby.

And so here I am, a guy in an
empty apartment with a dead dog.

Oh, and that's not
a tear on my cheek.

That's just from the leak in my ceiling.

And, yes, change is scary,
but it's also inevitable.

It's up to you to
make the best of it.

I mean, it's not like opportunity's
just gonna fall into your lap.

Then again,

Howdy, neighbor, I'm Jonathan.

Hi.

You eyeballin' my woman?

I hate change.

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