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1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,810
No one wants to live out their last
years in a hospital, but people do.
2
00:00:04,845 --> 00:00:08,045
There's really not much we can do for them
except try to protect their dignity,
3
00:00:08,292 --> 00:00:09,986
and, of course, bet on them.
4
00:00:10,021 --> 00:00:11,203
Come on, Mr. Gilmore.
5
00:00:11,238 --> 00:00:12,731
Come on, colonel Mustard!
6
00:00:14,170 --> 00:00:15,970
Ha!
Pay up.
7
00:00:16,539 --> 00:00:18,476
Can I get some jell-o, please?
8
00:00:18,511 --> 00:00:20,080
Jell-o is for winners.
9
00:00:20,115 --> 00:00:20,960
What?
10
00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:23,799
I'm just kidding. We'll have some sent
right to your room, big guy.
11
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:24,810
Thank you.
12
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:28,190
Dude, you're not gonna believe how much
trouble I'm having finding a place to live.
13
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,300
What happened with that little
guest house you went to see?
14
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,238
It's fully furnished and the owner of
the main house is just great.
15
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,700
In fact, if you look out the window,
you can see him right now.
16
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,150
Oh, he's perfect.
17
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:42,800
Perfect for what?
18
00:00:43,398 --> 00:00:45,298
Yeah, I think I'm gonna keep looking.
19
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,000
Things were going better for Elliot.
20
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,100
Thanks for the movie.
21
00:00:51,526 --> 00:00:52,857
You're welcome for the movie.
22
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,754
For some reason, Jake was able to handle
the piping-hot giant bowl of crazy
23
00:00:56,789 --> 00:00:58,316
that is Elliot Reid.
24
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Hah! Oh, god!
25
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,200
What is it?
26
00:01:06,477 --> 00:01:07,977
I just locked the door when
a black guy walked by.
27
00:01:07,978 --> 00:01:09,978
Now he's gonna think that I think he's
dangerous because he's black,
28
00:01:09,979 --> 00:01:12,287
and not just black,
but with an actual 'fro and everything,
29
00:01:12,288 --> 00:01:13,979
which, trust me,
I don't find scary at all.
30
00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:16,980
Not like the zigzags and
the corn rows and stuff.
31
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000
My night's ruined.
32
00:01:18,415 --> 00:01:19,341
No it isn't.
33
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,000
Hey, did you think she was locking
the door because you're black?
34
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,200
No. I just thought
she was locking the door.
35
00:01:29,235 --> 00:01:30,200
Thanks, man.
36
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:31,800
Better?
37
00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:32,800
Coolio.
38
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,900
Let's go get some ice cream.
39
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,000
Unfortunately for Jake, he still had to
pass muster with Turk and me,
40
00:01:38,035 --> 00:01:41,000
and nothing is quite
as daunting as our good guy test.
41
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:42,300
Well, I could use a beer.
42
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:43,500
I got this round.
43
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000
Be right back.
44
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:46,640
Good guy.
45
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:47,300
Great guy.
46
00:01:47,335 --> 00:01:49,000
- Oh, my god.
- Excellent choice.
47
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,400
And finished.
48
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,523
I remember the bordello
being a little bit bigger,
49
00:01:55,558 --> 00:01:57,743
and there were probably
a few more prostitutes, but
50
00:01:57,778 --> 00:02:00,500
maybe I just remember it that way
'cause I was a kid.
51
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,100
It was my 12th birthday.
52
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,400
I asked for a bike.
53
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,435
I got a 48-year-old whore.
54
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:08,100
It's beautiful.
55
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:11,500
It's almost a shame
I get these casts off in a week.
56
00:02:11,535 --> 00:02:12,500
A month.
57
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,600
A what?
58
00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:15,887
Yeah, I worked too hard on this.
You can take 'em off in a month.
59
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,000
I'll call my orthopedist.
60
00:02:18,048 --> 00:02:20,766
Dr. Murphy, I'd have more sympathy
if this were the first time
61
00:02:20,801 --> 00:02:22,848
you'd broke both your feet
working in the morgue.
62
00:02:22,883 --> 00:02:25,121
Sir, it's like those corpses
are out to get me.
63
00:02:25,156 --> 00:02:26,385
Heh! If only.
64
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:29,207
Anyway, I need you
to give up this thing.
65
00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:32,300
No offense, son, but I can't
have a desional bozo
66
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:35,500
like you driving a motorized vehicle
around this hospital.
67
00:02:37,211 --> 00:02:40,555
Well, if it isn't
the Sullivan street cathouse!
68
00:02:43,755 --> 00:02:44,745
What are you doing?
69
00:02:45,037 --> 00:02:48,537
Dr. Kelso told me to stand here
at exactly 12:05
70
00:02:48,604 --> 00:02:51,171
with my lunch,
but I don't know why.
71
00:02:51,206 --> 00:02:52,251
Thanks, Ted.
72
00:02:53,998 --> 00:02:57,878
Subtitles by
tofzeduk, Raceman, nColas, Eyedol, Sulina
73
00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:03,231
Scrubs episode 4x24
My Drive-By
74
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,173
www.forom.com
75
00:03:08,195 --> 00:03:09,394
All right, everybody,
gather around here.
76
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,499
Circle it up, will you?
77
00:03:10,599 --> 00:03:12,041
Bring it in nice and tight.
78
00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:15,953
Look, I know I'm pretty quick to point out
other people's mistakes, but...
79
00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:18,833
I have a son now, and I also
realize that it's important
80
00:03:18,868 --> 00:03:21,609
to recognize when someone
does something right.
81
00:03:21,763 --> 00:03:24,242
Mr. Blake, down in bed 3,
82
00:03:24,277 --> 00:03:27,709
came in here with what
seemed like a basic heart block,
83
00:03:27,744 --> 00:03:32,300
but someone took the time to find out
that recently he'd been camping,
84
00:03:32,335 --> 00:03:35,403
and correctly diagnosed him
with lyme carditis.
85
00:03:35,653 --> 00:03:38,446
Now, I'm sure some of you are
gonna think this is a silly exercise,
86
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:42,776
but I'd like that someone to step forward
and stick your hand up in the air
87
00:03:42,811 --> 00:03:46,606
so that the group can recognize
your great good work.
88
00:03:46,856 --> 00:03:49,872
This--this is no time to be modest.
89
00:03:50,267 --> 00:03:51,797
Come now...
90
00:03:56,075 --> 00:03:57,238
Oh, my god,
91
00:03:58,088 --> 00:03:59,761
it was me!
92
00:04:00,162 --> 00:04:04,231
I did it. I'm a genius.
I'm a huge brain in a ripped-up body.
93
00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:06,250
I am Jesus H. Cox.,
94
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:07,928
M.D.
95
00:04:08,278 --> 00:04:11,000
Still I probably couldn't
have done it by myself,
96
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,914
so I'd like to go ahead and recognize some
of the other players who were involved.
97
00:04:14,164 --> 00:04:18,013
There was the intern who originally
misdiagnosed the patient.
98
00:04:18,048 --> 00:04:18,681
It's me, daddy.
99
00:04:18,728 --> 00:04:19,715
Put your hand down, Lonnie.
100
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:23,905
And then there was the resident who
confirmed that misdiagnosis.
101
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:26,980
In my defense, I was up late watching
a designing women marathon.
102
00:04:27,015 --> 00:04:28,539
And last but not least,
103
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:32,780
there was the surgeon who wanted
to crack open Mr. Blake's chest
104
00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:37,230
like a walnut and put in a pacemaker
that he didn't even need.
105
00:04:37,265 --> 00:04:41,254
Now, he's too modest to introduce himself
to the group, so I'll do the honors.
106
00:04:41,289 --> 00:04:44,287
He is so black,
so bald,
107
00:04:44,322 --> 00:04:47,800
and he can't eat cupcakes
because he's got diabetes.
108
00:04:47,835 --> 00:04:49,800
Ladies and gentlemen,
Chris Turk.
109
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,300
Can you just get out of here
so we can get back to work?
110
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,534
Not until people start
chanting my name,
111
00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:58,318
so that I can exit the room with
my hands held high above my head
112
00:04:58,319 --> 00:05:00,500
in a victorious gesture.
Capisce?
113
00:05:00,962 --> 00:05:04,528
See, this diagnosing machine--
this fabulous thing--
114
00:05:04,828 --> 00:05:08,628
well, it runs on props, so I'm going
to need to hear it. Come now.
115
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:12,164
Cox...Cox...Cox...
116
00:05:12,414 --> 00:05:15,119
Me. Me. Me.
117
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:16,800
Oh, so me!
118
00:05:17,862 --> 00:05:20,070
I've never connected
with a guy like this before.
119
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:21,320
I mean, even though
it's only been 2 weeks,
120
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,582
I already feel like I know Jake
better than I know myself.
121
00:05:23,617 --> 00:05:24,775
What does he do for a living?
122
00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:26,303
I should know that.
123
00:05:26,553 --> 00:05:28,242
What's the sex like?
124
00:05:28,527 --> 00:05:30,827
What makes you think that
I have slept with him?
125
00:05:31,046 --> 00:05:33,646
For starters, you've known him
more than 10 minutes.
126
00:05:34,546 --> 00:05:37,224
You are a weird and angry man!
127
00:05:38,694 --> 00:05:39,901
- Two bits.
- Two bits.
128
00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:42,452
Look, I have just been thinking about
all of my relationships,
129
00:05:42,478 --> 00:05:45,378
and every time one has potential,
I go too fast and ruin everything.
130
00:05:45,503 --> 00:05:46,503
Long story short,
131
00:05:46,684 --> 00:05:47,684
Jake's not gettin' any.
132
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,170
Oh, please.
133
00:05:48,171 --> 00:05:51,604
You're 1/2 a glass of wine away from
nuding up and doing your go-to move.
134
00:05:51,639 --> 00:05:52,402
Which is?
135
00:05:52,437 --> 00:05:56,215
Her on top, eyes closed yelling,
"don't look at me! Don't look at me!"
136
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,530
Sex is disgusting.
137
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:58,800
I know, sweetie.
138
00:05:59,250 --> 00:05:59,950
Look...
139
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,177
I am attracted to Jake,
but I'm an adult.
140
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,481
I can control my urges.
141
00:06:14,202 --> 00:06:15,402
No means no.
142
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:19,491
Gotta go.
143
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,450
'Night, Elliot.
144
00:06:22,488 --> 00:06:23,722
Good night, Jake.
145
00:06:25,523 --> 00:06:29,013
I'll check back with you after
I look in on a few other patients.
146
00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:36,606
Mr. Evans!
147
00:06:41,387 --> 00:06:42,687
What the hell?
148
00:06:51,298 --> 00:06:52,798
4, please.
149
00:06:57,059 --> 00:06:59,559
Try not to breathe
on the chrome, lurch.
150
00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:03,067
Out of my way, minions.
151
00:07:04,903 --> 00:07:09,067
Hey, kid, you might want to pick up a
pamphlet on that new thing called chewing.
152
00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:13,107
Hey, can I get--
153
00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:13,912
One second.
154
00:07:13,947 --> 00:07:17,867
Cox! Cox! Cox!
Cox! Cox! Cox! Cox!
155
00:07:18,017 --> 00:07:19,017
I eat here all the time.
156
00:07:19,816 --> 00:07:20,816
Oh, yeah.
157
00:07:22,514 --> 00:07:23,714
Guy's choking!
158
00:07:24,873 --> 00:07:27,673
I can't clear his airway.
Call 911! Let's go!
159
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,673
He'll be brain dead by--
I'm gonna do an emergency trach.
160
00:07:29,702 --> 00:07:30,702
Let me get a knife!
161
00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:32,188
A clean knife!
162
00:07:33,681 --> 00:07:35,681
And can I get a number 2,
no sour cream?
163
00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:41,337
Hey, now,
164
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:42,965
great work back there, Gandhi.
165
00:07:43,115 --> 00:07:47,790
What a story, huh? Blood, bravery,
illegal immigrants-- it had it all.
166
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,800
Hell, when you tell Carla about this,
the next time you two have sex,
167
00:07:50,835 --> 00:07:54,800
there's a slight chance that
she actually just might think about you.
168
00:07:55,104 --> 00:07:57,104
Perry, Perry, Perry,
169
00:07:57,497 --> 00:07:59,497
you know what
the difference between us is?
170
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:01,550
Well, besides the fact that
I can carry a conversation
171
00:08:01,575 --> 00:08:04,075
without checking my own
reflection every 5 seconds?
172
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:05,800
I'm sorry.
173
00:08:05,863 --> 00:08:07,468
I get lost in my eyes.
174
00:08:07,503 --> 00:08:11,468
Anyway, I'm not gonna tell anyone
about this because unlike you...
175
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:17,730
Unlike you,
176
00:08:17,806 --> 00:08:19,506
I got into medicine
to help people,
177
00:08:19,557 --> 00:08:21,050
not for my own
personal glory.
178
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,475
Yeah. Now that's just
a load of crap.
179
00:08:23,687 --> 00:08:25,947
Turns out the only reason
anybody ever does anything is
180
00:08:25,982 --> 00:08:28,003
to feed the ego,
because that's what we are--
181
00:08:28,038 --> 00:08:29,303
ego monsters.
182
00:08:29,796 --> 00:08:30,796
Mark my words--
183
00:08:30,816 --> 00:08:33,002
eventually you will
tell people what you did.
184
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,400
Oh, we'll see.
185
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,600
Yeah, we'll see.
186
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:36,700
Yeah, we will see.
187
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:37,800
We will so see!
188
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,100
You want to call it?
189
00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:40,600
That's a pretty good idea.
190
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:42,400
See you later.
191
00:08:43,050 --> 00:08:45,495
I don't know how much longer I can
avoid sleeping with Jake, man.
192
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:48,330
It's easy. If you ever find yourself
in a romantic situation,
193
00:08:48,365 --> 00:08:50,283
just do something
that's a complete turn-off.
194
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,900
You know, like how you can
swallow your whole fist.
195
00:08:54,105 --> 00:08:56,105
No way!
She can't do that!
196
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,383
Calm down, boys.
Let me just ask.
197
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,400
Can you really swallow
your whole fist?
198
00:09:03,435 --> 00:09:04,050
Yeah.
199
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:06,100
Ooh...
200
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:08,539
Shh...
Don't ruin it.
201
00:09:08,746 --> 00:09:09,864
Men are twisted.
202
00:09:10,471 --> 00:09:11,828
Do you guys have any other ideas?
203
00:09:11,863 --> 00:09:12,424
You know what?
204
00:09:12,425 --> 00:09:14,505
I really don't have time to be
dealing with your little sex pickle.
205
00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:15,301
Really?
206
00:09:15,302 --> 00:09:17,502
She spent 2 years
dealing with yours.
207
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,200
I hate that thing.
208
00:09:22,485 --> 00:09:25,277
Sir, you probably
haven't noticed this,
209
00:09:25,278 --> 00:09:29,025
but the floors around here are so clean
you can see yourself in them.
210
00:09:30,425 --> 00:09:32,625
Why you handsome song of a gun!
211
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,700
Have you looked at me lately, fellas?
212
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,800
Oh, bellisimo!
213
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:42,053
I know we haven't taken of that
whole asbestos thing from the nineties,
214
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:44,300
and I know some toilets flush upward...
215
00:09:44,335 --> 00:09:46,800
Get to the point.
My battery power is running low.
216
00:09:47,204 --> 00:09:48,925
The one thing that
I'm proud of
217
00:09:48,926 --> 00:09:52,053
is that these floors are so clean
you could eat off of 'em.
218
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,604
Why is that?
219
00:09:56,300 --> 00:10:00,300
If you're going to throw food on the floor,
you can just eat there from now on.
220
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,900
Soup night was the worst.
221
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,100
All-righty. Point proving time.
222
00:10:07,135 --> 00:10:09,722
Carla, I assume tubby hubby
here told you all
223
00:10:09,757 --> 00:10:11,600
about what happened
at the taco stand.
224
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,800
Please tell me
you didn't try to get
225
00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:17,000
free guacamole again by telling them
you were married to one of their people.
226
00:10:17,035 --> 00:10:18,200
No, I did not!
227
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,800
Because I don't have the need
to make everything about me.
228
00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:23,532
See, I'm not that pathetic.
229
00:10:23,835 --> 00:10:26,100
So what did happen
at the taco stand?
230
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,400
There are certain people in life who
know how to push your buttons...
231
00:10:30,401 --> 00:10:31,927
Well, the guy started choking
232
00:10:31,928 --> 00:10:35,401
so naturally I sprung into action
and gave him an emergency trach.
233
00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:37,542
Yeah.
234
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,114
So it's important to
have a plan to deal with it,
235
00:10:40,149 --> 00:10:42,601
even if it means
never being alone with someone.
236
00:10:42,752 --> 00:10:44,752
Wow, this body heat's
a sexy movie, huh?
237
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:48,200
Mmm, doesn't Kathleen Turner
have dynamite nubs?
238
00:10:49,396 --> 00:10:50,271
Yeah.
239
00:10:50,471 --> 00:10:53,371
Of course, if that person is stubborn,
there's not much you can do.
240
00:10:53,372 --> 00:10:55,262
I'm sorry, son.
I'd love to help you out,
241
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:58,072
but I could give a horse's patootie
about your floors.
242
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,700
My floors are my children!
243
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,700
I've given them names!
244
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,300
The key is to figure out a way to
not let them get the best of you.
245
00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:10,801
Honestly, it was like death and I
had a staring match and,
246
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,900
well, death blinked.
247
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:17,358
All of you know I'm not one
to toot my own horn, but...
248
00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:21,773
Ok, that's it!
That's it!
249
00:11:21,808 --> 00:11:23,500
I can't take this anymore!
That's it!
250
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,100
I saved the guy, people.
251
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,998
Death blinked at me!
252
00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:29,098
You got that?
He blinked at me!
253
00:11:29,116 --> 00:11:30,216
Ok?!
254
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,400
Yeah-ha-ha-ha!
255
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:40,152
Oh, doesn't that feel so much better?
I am so proud of you.
256
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,000
And it's just the way I call it.
257
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,270
Grandpa goatee to win,
pee pants to place,
258
00:11:50,271 --> 00:11:52,901
and wrong way Wally
not finish.
259
00:11:52,936 --> 00:11:54,051
He does have glaucoma.
260
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:55,819
Well, I should have been told that!
261
00:11:55,854 --> 00:11:57,380
It wouldn't have mattered, Jordan.
You know why?
262
00:11:57,415 --> 00:12:00,100
Because I am always right.
It's something my--
263
00:12:00,101 --> 00:12:02,601
My old pal Gandhi here
knows little something about,
264
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,720
because you see,
265
00:12:03,838 --> 00:12:08,338
we are both egotistical peas
in a giant narcissistic pod.
266
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,900
And, to prove my point,
267
00:12:10,186 --> 00:12:11,686
I'm going to
go ahead and make an
268
00:12:11,895 --> 00:12:16,395
unnecessarily showy
but undeniably impressive exit.
269
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,300
Rope time, Gandhi.
270
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:19,700
Feel it.
271
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,000
I'll see you later.
272
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:30,800
I would so mock him right now
if I wasn't so turned on.
273
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:33,300
I'm not like that, am I?
274
00:12:33,329 --> 00:12:36,224
Actually, Turk,
you are slightly Coxish.
275
00:12:36,302 --> 00:12:38,363
Yeah. I mean, the way you do
that stupid victory dance
276
00:12:38,364 --> 00:12:40,302
every time you win
the slightest argument.
277
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:41,800
No, I don't.
278
00:12:41,835 --> 00:12:43,030
Maybe not.
279
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,200
You know, Turk,
you were right.
280
00:12:45,235 --> 00:12:47,000
Next year is not a leap year.
281
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,900
Damn it!
282
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,800
Thanks for giving me a ride to work.
283
00:12:58,801 --> 00:13:00,801
I hope you didn't mind
J.D. tagging along.
284
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,950
Uh-uh. Maybe next time
we'll let you sit up front.
285
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,500
Well maybe next time you'll shout
shotgun a little faster.
286
00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:06,981
- Bye.
- Bye.
287
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,300
Elliot, you can't keep taking J.D.
everywhere you go.
288
00:13:11,335 --> 00:13:13,500
Sooner or later you're
gonna have to trust yourself.
289
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,801
No, I won't, Carla.
290
00:13:14,802 --> 00:13:16,669
The system is working.
Trust me.
291
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:19,502
I will not be having sex
with Jake anytime soon.
292
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,300
That seems like a strange thing
to announce to your friends.
293
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,000
I just came back
to get my keys.
294
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,200
This is so awkward.
Look away. Look away!
295
00:13:30,850 --> 00:13:33,300
All your references checked out.
296
00:13:33,335 --> 00:13:35,300
I never gave you
any references.
297
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,500
Where the hell's my rascal?
298
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,100
How do you like my new floor waxer?
299
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,200
That's not yours!
300
00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:48,000
That's my car thing.
301
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,224
You just painted it!
302
00:13:49,259 --> 00:13:50,246
I did not.
303
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:51,701
You've got green paint on your face.
304
00:13:51,736 --> 00:13:52,600
I do n--
305
00:13:52,650 --> 00:13:53,350
well....
306
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,900
That's not paint. That's...
307
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000
pudding.
308
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:57,260
You know what?
309
00:13:57,261 --> 00:13:59,900
Even if this was the rascal you were
riding around, you can't prove anything.
310
00:13:59,935 --> 00:14:03,286
And it's no good to hide it from me
'cause I got keys to everything.
311
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,650
Except the third floor mental ward,
someone stole that one.
312
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,935
Was he smoking a gavel?
313
00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:12,900
Seemed to be.
314
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,900
Well, if you'll excuse me,
I have work to do--
315
00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:16,003
floors to wax!
316
00:14:16,227 --> 00:14:17,626
Floors to wax.
317
00:14:26,391 --> 00:14:29,096
Why do I have to have
my gallbladder taken out?
318
00:14:29,111 --> 00:14:31,917
Because Mr. Hoffner
you have gallstones.
319
00:14:32,017 --> 00:14:33,904
Why do I have gallstones?
320
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:37,880
Did you possibly eat large gall-boulder
and then fall on your stomach?
321
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:39,400
Do I need my gallbladder?
322
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,300
Oh, my god.
It is a a completely useless organ.
323
00:14:42,335 --> 00:14:44,300
Oh, wait a minute,
this is not completly true.
324
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:47,751
Here it turns out we could
remove it and jam it in your mouth
325
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:51,200
to keep you from asking the same question
we've been over for a three straight days.
326
00:14:51,235 --> 00:14:52,200
Now come on.
327
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,200
We're both in a position
to get good news here.
328
00:14:54,201 --> 00:14:55,094
You're gonna feel better,
329
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,701
and I'm gonna get the world's most
annoying patient the hell out of my hair.
330
00:14:57,929 --> 00:14:59,871
Plus you're in a bonus situation.
331
00:14:59,906 --> 00:15:03,585
I hand-picked the surgeon
that you're going to be torturing.
332
00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:04,570
Here he is now.
333
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,200
This is the gallbladder guy?
334
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,918
Do I need my gallbladder?
335
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:10,450
Enjoy.
336
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:14,300
I'm giving up on men.
337
00:15:14,350 --> 00:15:15,250
Just call him.
338
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:16,200
You can't make me.
339
00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:18,332
Well, unfortunately for you,
I happen to know that
340
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:21,079
the guy you're dating is always
under speed dial number one.
341
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,751
Constipation hotline.
342
00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:24,798
2 is your current boyfriend.
343
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,000
Hello?
344
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,050
Frick!
345
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:28,800
Listen, Jake...
346
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,500
Look, it's not that I'm never
going to have sex with you.
347
00:15:33,526 --> 00:15:36,106
I'm going to, and believe me,
when I am on top
348
00:15:36,107 --> 00:15:39,482
with my eyes closed and screaming,
you're gonna be happy you waited.
349
00:15:39,928 --> 00:15:42,928
Ok, I'm gonna go ahead and
take you off speaker phone.
350
00:15:44,173 --> 00:15:45,173
Hi.
351
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,400
So, are you a good surgeon?
352
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,100
I'm capable.
353
00:15:51,175 --> 00:15:52,175
Capable...
354
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,200
I'm not sure I want the surgery.
355
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,300
Gandhi.
356
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:57,500
A word.
357
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,000
Look at me.
358
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:02,874
I know what you're doing in there.
359
00:16:02,909 --> 00:16:05,535
You think that if you act like
Dr. Sad Sack
360
00:16:05,570 --> 00:16:07,402
that the patient's gonna
opt out of surgery,
361
00:16:07,437 --> 00:16:09,600
an I'll have to spend
yet another week
362
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:12,500
with a man who has such unnatural
attachement to his gallder,
363
00:16:12,535 --> 00:16:16,231
that left to his own devices, he would
rent a motel room and have sex with it.
364
00:16:16,439 --> 00:16:18,239
Now come on I need you to sling that.
365
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,340
"I'm gonna get sneaky-deeky
with my...cheezle...
366
00:16:21,383 --> 00:16:23,683
and--and swizzle up the dizzle
367
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,450
fot my...bee-ai-itch..."
368
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,950
Stuff that you know, you do so well.
369
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,100
Sorry, I'm not that guy anymore.
370
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,500
Are you sure I don't
need my gallbladder?
371
00:16:37,535 --> 00:16:38,500
Oh...
372
00:16:38,535 --> 00:16:39,300
Dear...
373
00:16:39,335 --> 00:16:40,300
Lord.
374
00:16:41,471 --> 00:16:43,829
ook, the reason
I've been acting so weird
375
00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:46,300
and having my friends hang around u
all the time is because
376
00:16:46,301 --> 00:16:48,290
I really think that we have
a shot for something great,
377
00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:50,501
and I didn't want to go and ruin it
by sleeping with you too fast.
378
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,100
I mean, what was I supposed to do?
379
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,300
Well, you--you could
have just told me that.
380
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,866
Yes, but you're forgetting
I'm a crazy person.
381
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,320
Elliot, please.
Look, everybody has their stuff.
382
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:04,301
Like me. I'm an emotional person but
I've always had trouble expressing it.
383
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:06,974
Here, tell me--
tell me you like my shirt.
384
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,800
I like your shirt.
385
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,300
Cool.
386
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:14,200
Ok, now tell me my
childhood dog buster
387
00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:17,900
was never put down, and we're gonna be
reunited this weekend.
388
00:17:17,935 --> 00:17:18,900
You can paraphrase.
389
00:17:19,589 --> 00:17:20,900
Uh, buster's coming home.
390
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,000
Cool.
391
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:25,100
See?
392
00:17:25,135 --> 00:17:28,400
You see, there's no difference,
and buster meant the world to me.
393
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:30,950
I really like you, Elliot,
but I'm an adult.
394
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,201
I want this to be
an adult relationship.
395
00:17:33,203 --> 00:17:37,314
If you want to be patient and not
have sex right away, then that's fine...
396
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:40,700
because I think we have
a chance for something great, too.
397
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,500
I want you so bad right now.
398
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:46,900
Cool.
399
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,100
Guess I should get goin'.
400
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,750
You paged me in the middle of a busy day.
This better be important.
401
00:18:03,785 --> 00:18:04,500
What were you doing?
402
00:18:04,535 --> 00:18:06,200
Sleeping in a mop closet.
403
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,357
You forced me to do this.
404
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,282
Either we figure out
a way to share the rascal
405
00:18:11,317 --> 00:18:13,100
or neither one of us gets it.
406
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:14,354
It's your move.
407
00:18:14,389 --> 00:18:17,760
You've got about 8 seconds before
this thing becomes a pile of rubble.
408
00:18:18,050 --> 00:18:19,150
5 seconds.
409
00:18:19,583 --> 00:18:22,734
Come on. This is gonna hurt you
more than it hurts me.
410
00:18:22,885 --> 00:18:24,620
I doubt it.
411
00:18:35,121 --> 00:18:37,730
You moved my car there,
didn't you?
412
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,380
Like I said...
413
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:41,000
A key to everything.
414
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:46,389
Whoops.
415
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:49,917
I know it sounds corny,
416
00:18:49,918 --> 00:18:53,026
but we really made a big difference
in that person's life in there.
417
00:18:53,061 --> 00:18:55,026
I hope she digs her new cans.
418
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:57,150
You did great work.
419
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,100
You know, it's not about me.
420
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:02,000
Assisted 5.
I'll take it.
421
00:19:02,001 --> 00:19:03,001
Walk with me.
422
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,250
I cannot believe that you, of all people,
are the one I have to tell this to.
423
00:19:06,251 --> 00:19:09,226
Ego is good, ya dumbass.
424
00:19:09,261 --> 00:19:11,413
It's the reason that guy
wants you to be his surgeon,
425
00:19:11,414 --> 00:19:14,214
it's the reason that she is
borderline attracted to you,
426
00:19:14,249 --> 00:19:16,601
and it's the reason that she
so desperately wants to marry you.
427
00:19:16,636 --> 00:19:18,601
Page me when you're headed home.
428
00:19:20,002 --> 00:19:20,802
Bottom line,
429
00:19:20,803 --> 00:19:22,500
in medicine, 1/2 of pulling it off
430
00:19:22,535 --> 00:19:24,755
is believing you're the biggest, smartest
431
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:26,755
badass of a doctor
to ever walk these halls.
432
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,525
You want to see how you end up
if you don't believe that?
433
00:19:32,768 --> 00:19:34,068
I don't know how it happened again,
434
00:19:34,169 --> 00:19:35,686
but it did.
435
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,600
As I gangsta-leaned down the hallway
436
00:19:39,601 --> 00:19:42,000
in the rad new wheels
I found by the dumpster,
437
00:19:42,105 --> 00:19:45,105
I couldn't help but think
how ego affects everything.
438
00:19:51,808 --> 00:19:53,053
Without a healthy dose of it,
439
00:19:53,088 --> 00:19:55,508
you can't trust yourself
to do what you really want.
440
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,100
I don't think that
we're going too quick at all.
441
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,100
By the way, what do you do?
442
00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:02,714
I make and distribute
hungarian pornography.
443
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:06,900
I'm a real estate developer.
444
00:20:06,935 --> 00:20:07,900
Oh, thank god.
445
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,356
Of course, with too much ego,
446
00:20:13,391 --> 00:20:16,000
you can end up loosing
something you wish you still had.
447
00:20:21,438 --> 00:20:22,438
You ok?
448
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:27,300
I'm not used to walking from
my office to the nurses station.
449
00:20:30,944 --> 00:20:33,644
But with the right amount,
nothing can get in your way.
450
00:20:34,244 --> 00:20:36,620
I am going to yank that gallbladder
out of you so fast
451
00:20:36,621 --> 00:20:38,600
that your spleen is gonna
say to your kidney,
452
00:20:38,601 --> 00:20:40,351
"what the hell happened to Frank?!"
453
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,888
That's right, your kidney named
your gallbladder Frank.
454
00:20:44,138 --> 00:20:46,900
I don't want you to worry about this
another second, Mr. Hoffner, ok?
455
00:20:46,935 --> 00:20:47,900
'Cause I'm the man!
456
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000
I am the man.
457
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:53,500
Oh...look at you! Ha ha!
458
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,300
High 5. Yeoww!
459
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:58,281
www.forom.com
460
00:20:58,331 --> 00:21:02,881
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