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1
00:00:07,292 --> 00:00:10,415
In my 4 years, there have been many
emergencies at Sacread Heart,
2
00:00:10,582 --> 00:00:13,000
but none like this one, because today...
3
00:00:13,442 --> 00:00:15,718
Where is he?
4
00:00:17,035 --> 00:00:19,735
Dr. Cox's son needed two stitches.
5
00:00:20,269 --> 00:00:21,439
Dr. Cox, I got there as soon as I--
6
00:00:21,574 --> 00:00:22,793
Shut it, Newbie.
7
00:00:22,828 --> 00:00:25,128
Yor blacker half is trying
to concentrate.
8
00:00:25,485 --> 00:00:27,129
Are you holding up?
9
00:00:27,437 --> 00:00:28,675
I'm a little nervous.
10
00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:31,084
Well now you make me all nervous.
11
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,391
And focus, because that tiny patch of
12
00:00:33,392 --> 00:00:36,908
skin on my son's forehead is
more important to me than the
13
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,600
entirety of your whole high
five and head-shaving air-ball
14
00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:43,362
and mole lipping, insuline-needing
existence, which I
15
00:00:43,363 --> 00:00:48,021
garantee you will come to an
abrupt, very unnatural end.
16
00:00:48,896 --> 00:00:50,246
Okay, I'm done.
17
00:00:50,253 --> 00:00:51,978
We all held our breath together.
18
00:00:54,995 --> 00:00:56,900
The surgeon lives!
19
00:01:00,438 --> 00:01:02,442
The Todd forgot to breath again.
20
00:01:02,915 --> 00:01:05,085
Starting C.P.R...
21
00:01:07,199 --> 00:01:09,193
Mr. Gerst, what seems to be the problem?
22
00:01:09,484 --> 00:01:10,802
I took some pills.
23
00:01:10,995 --> 00:01:13,734
Come on, help me out here. Were they
happy pills, sad pills, sleep pills,
24
00:01:13,735 --> 00:01:16,549
ke-up pills, sane pills, pain pills,
brain pills, spain pills...
25
00:01:16,633 --> 00:01:17,747
Man pills..
26
00:01:17,882 --> 00:01:19,733
The commercial says I
should consult a physician
27
00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:22,607
if the condition persists
for more than 4 hours.
28
00:01:22,843 --> 00:01:24,088
If what persists?
29
00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:31,389
Oh, um let's just say you took uppers.
30
00:01:35,485 --> 00:01:38,446
Hey, dude, check out what I found
when I was taking out the trash!
31
00:01:39,985 --> 00:01:42,550
That is the most ridiculous hat
I have ever seen.
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00:01:42,585 --> 00:01:44,040
And I must have it.
33
00:01:44,912 --> 00:01:46,380
Aren't you gonna be late to meet Carla?
34
00:01:47,010 --> 00:01:48,131
I've got time.
35
00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:50,187
Turk and Carla were having
relationship trouble,
36
00:01:50,188 --> 00:01:52,351
so she'd been staying
at Elliot's for a few days.
37
00:01:52,386 --> 00:01:53,861
You were late the last time.
38
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:56,640
Yeah, but I set the clock ahead an
hour last night so I wouldn't be late.
39
00:01:56,675 --> 00:01:58,300
Yeah, but last week
I set it back 3 hours
40
00:01:58,301 --> 00:02:00,351
so we could see what it felt
like to live in Honolulu.
41
00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:01,567
Yeah, but then I set the clock ahead 5
42
00:02:01,568 --> 00:02:02,880
hours so I wouldn't feel like a skeeve
43
00:02:02,881 --> 00:02:04,464
for watching porn
in the middle of the day.
44
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,477
But then I set it back 43 minutes to
8:08, turned the clock upside down
45
00:02:07,478 --> 00:02:09,926
to see if it looked like the word "bob,"
which, incidentally, it totally does...
46
00:02:09,961 --> 00:02:10,541
That's true.
47
00:02:10,576 --> 00:02:12,220
Which means that it's actually...
48
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:15,732
- 9:52!
- 9:52!
49
00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:18,379
Oh, my god, dude!
I gotta be downtown in like 8 minutes!
50
00:02:19,215 --> 00:02:21,179
Dude, we're never gonna make it in time!
51
00:02:21,686 --> 00:02:23,473
Take a shortcut through that hedge!
52
00:02:23,508 --> 00:02:25,162
You've got it, player!
53
00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:28,321
Hold on, buddie.
54
00:02:32,876 --> 00:02:34,020
That was a thick bush.
55
00:02:34,055 --> 00:02:36,069
Oh, really, Turk, was it a thick bush?
56
00:02:36,104 --> 00:02:38,004
Because there's berries in my ass.
57
00:02:38,082 --> 00:02:39,323
Just go!
58
00:02:41,559 --> 00:02:43,694
Sorry, bob that dude, bob that.
59
00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:56,092
Don't worry, Turk I got 'em!
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00:02:59,357 --> 00:03:00,559
Strike!
61
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,445
Turk, why are you wearing pajamas?
62
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,382
Uh, I really want you to come home,
and on the off chance you said yes,
63
00:03:10,383 --> 00:03:11,701
I'd be ready to snuggle,
64
00:03:11,736 --> 00:03:14,960
and that would hopefully lead to--
but not necessarily require--
65
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:18,200
relations of the intimate nature.
66
00:03:18,435 --> 00:03:20,578
Turk, with everything that's happened,
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00:03:20,713 --> 00:03:23,090
I'm just having trouble trusting you.
68
00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:26,196
Baby, if there's anyone in this world
that you can trust, it's me.
69
00:03:26,672 --> 00:03:28,702
Turk, you're the one
I don't know if I can trust.
70
00:03:28,737 --> 00:03:33,059
So, how am I supposed to trust that I can
trust you telling me that I can trust you?
71
00:03:34,119 --> 00:03:35,134
My head hurts.
72
00:03:36,828 --> 00:03:38,674
I wish I knew how it was going.
73
00:03:39,946 --> 00:03:42,051
Sorry about your hogs, fellas.
74
00:03:42,383 --> 00:03:44,211
Enjoy the free espressos.
75
00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:48,704
Warlord, I told you to sip it.
76
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,136
Uh, it...
77
00:03:50,382 --> 00:03:51,773
Use your words.
78
00:03:52,143 --> 00:03:53,992
Warlord burn mouth.
79
00:03:54,027 --> 00:03:55,995
Yeah, he did because
he wasn't listening.
80
00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:58,842
Napkin on your lap, Satan's valet.
Thank you.
81
00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:04,494
Transcripts
Raceman + Lilik & nColas
82
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:07,279
Synchro
elanouil
83
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:10,716
Scrubs episode 4x21
My Lips Are Sealed
84
00:04:10,741 --> 00:04:12,363
www.forom.com
85
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:21,125
Hey, what are you doing Frankeinstein?
86
00:04:21,488 --> 00:04:23,663
Photo journal for my photography class.
87
00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:25,596
Terrific. Could I see your camera?
88
00:04:26,257 --> 00:04:29,120
Hmm. Very interesting.
Oh, there's film in it.
89
00:04:30,843 --> 00:04:31,338
Hey!
90
00:04:32,145 --> 00:04:33,615
All my pictures were in there!
91
00:04:33,993 --> 00:04:35,409
Dead patient with fancy shirt,
92
00:04:35,444 --> 00:04:36,816
dead patient without fancy shirt,
93
00:04:36,851 --> 00:04:39,275
me in fancy shirt being
yelled at by angry family.
94
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:41,488
Do you have any idea of
what events would unfold
95
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:44,035
if Jordan were to actually
see that picture?
96
00:04:44,070 --> 00:04:46,375
It is a heart-wrenching tale of woe
97
00:04:46,376 --> 00:04:49,374
involving Jordan's second cousin
who plays for the new england
98
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:51,255
patriots and me having a SuperBowl
99
00:04:51,256 --> 00:04:52,577
ring removed from my esophagus.
100
00:04:52,612 --> 00:04:55,879
No, Jordan's never
going to see these stitches.
101
00:04:56,093 --> 00:04:58,193
Well, I hope you realize this means war.
102
00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:00,271
Ah, buzz off, you big monkey.
103
00:05:03,038 --> 00:05:07,232
Poor Mr. Gerst. I wonder what that's
like to have an erection for 9 hours.
104
00:05:07,428 --> 00:05:08,790
Ask me in 20 minutes.
105
00:05:09,071 --> 00:05:09,968
Oh, get this.
106
00:05:10,203 --> 00:05:11,861
He doesn't even have
erectile dysfunction.
107
00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:14,011
I mean, why would you take those
drugs if you didn't need them?
108
00:05:14,378 --> 00:05:15,209
What's this?
109
00:05:15,618 --> 00:05:18,796
Why, it's a dummygram,
and it's addressed to you, Barbie.
110
00:05:18,931 --> 00:05:20,643
Let's read it and find out
what's in there.
111
00:05:20,678 --> 00:05:23,546
- You are disturbingly naive.
- Stop!
112
00:05:23,776 --> 00:05:27,736
Almost 50% of E.D. drugs are taken
by recreational users.
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00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:28,700
-Stop!
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00:05:28,973 --> 00:05:29,837
That can't be true.
115
00:05:31,027 --> 00:05:31,656
Everyone
116
00:05:31,742 --> 00:05:34,325
Would you go ahead and close
your eyes for a second?
117
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:34,765
Great.
118
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,813
Now, would all the men in the room who
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00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,740
have tried Mr. Happy Pills go ahead
120
00:05:38,741 --> 00:05:41,509
and grab your fork and bang your glass.
121
00:05:45,643 --> 00:05:46,931
Thank you!
122
00:05:49,662 --> 00:05:51,276
Ted, everyone stopped!
123
00:05:51,911 --> 00:05:54,584
Oh, damn it!
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00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:59,018
Dude, she's got this
whole trust issue with me.
125
00:05:59,253 --> 00:06:00,761
Just tell her she can trust you.
126
00:06:00,796 --> 00:06:03,207
I did, but apparently, if I'm the one
she didn't know she could trust
127
00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:06,297
How is she supposed to trust she can
trust me telling her she can trust me?
128
00:06:06,595 --> 00:06:07,046
My head hurts.
129
00:06:07,081 --> 00:06:08,967
Yeah, mine did, too.
That's why I need you to go in.
130
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:09,704
No way, dude.
131
00:06:09,739 --> 00:06:12,484
It's never smart to get in the middle
of someone else's relationship.
132
00:06:13,022 --> 00:06:14,502
I'll let you wear my top hat.
133
00:06:15,032 --> 00:06:16,916
Hey! Want to grab a beer?
134
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:18,913
If you lose the hat.
135
00:06:22,870 --> 00:06:23,928
- Hi.
- Hello there.
136
00:06:24,597 --> 00:06:26,029
What's with all the band-aids?
137
00:06:26,064 --> 00:06:28,007
Oh, Jack was just getting nutty,
having some fun.
138
00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:30,293
See, I even let him put one on me.
139
00:06:31,202 --> 00:06:33,077
- Really?
- Yeah.
140
00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:36,535
Are those stitches
141
00:06:36,770 --> 00:06:38,845
What at the odd did you pick that one?
142
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,220
Jack just--he just
fell off of the jungle gym.
143
00:06:41,455 --> 00:06:43,155
You're not careful enough with him!
144
00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:46,099
What about the time you had him and
he brained himself on the coffee table?
145
00:06:46,134 --> 00:06:47,103
That was an accident.
146
00:06:47,138 --> 00:06:48,347
Just a quick question.
147
00:06:48,382 --> 00:06:52,016
Why is it an accident when he's with you,
but when Jack gets hurt on my time,
148
00:06:52,051 --> 00:06:53,568
it's because I'm not carefull enough?
149
00:06:53,601 --> 00:06:54,552
Because I--
150
00:06:57,146 --> 00:06:58,025
Oh, dear God....
151
00:06:59,446 --> 00:07:01,039
You're speechless.
152
00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:03,135
I won!
153
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,535
I won an argument.
154
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,268
Jack, it's unprecedented.
155
00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:08,402
We'll be at the playground
drinking beer.
156
00:07:08,437 --> 00:07:10,172
Oh, god, we love beer!
157
00:07:10,207 --> 00:07:10,527
But--
158
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,252
That guy needs to do some
serious thinking about baseball.
159
00:07:18,387 --> 00:07:19,994
He wouldn't even let me see it.
160
00:07:20,029 --> 00:07:20,472
Hey, meathead.
161
00:07:21,626 --> 00:07:22,758
Oh, good, you both looked.
162
00:07:22,893 --> 00:07:25,084
Now, Mr. Gerst came here for help,
163
00:07:25,119 --> 00:07:27,063
and we're doctors, so how about
we try and treat him
164
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,691
with at least a little bit of
dignity and respect, ok?
165
00:07:31,358 --> 00:07:33,760
That man is a human sundial.
166
00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,874
Oh, it's so nice to get out.
167
00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:44,893
Oh, hey, do you know who sings the song?
168
00:07:44,928 --> 00:07:46,628
No, but I can tell you
who doesn't sing it--
169
00:07:46,663 --> 00:07:49,524
Billy Joel, who brought us
such hits as uptown girl
170
00:07:49,559 --> 00:07:51,611
and matter of trust
and speaking of trust,
171
00:07:51,646 --> 00:07:53,623
- Do you know who's really trustworthy?
- Turk.
172
00:07:53,758 --> 00:07:56,654
I call him turkey-turkey-turkey-
turkey-trust-trust.
173
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:57,407
A little nickname.
174
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:01,594
J.D., I know what you're trying
to do and it's very sweet,
175
00:08:01,629 --> 00:08:04,399
but the last couple of days have been
so messed up and confusing.
176
00:08:05,034 --> 00:08:08,017
I'd love to just try and forget about it
and have a few drinks, ok?
177
00:08:08,152 --> 00:08:10,912
But I told Turk I'd talk about him
constantly until you made me leave.
178
00:08:10,947 --> 00:08:12,354
I'll let you put the hat back on.
179
00:08:12,489 --> 00:08:14,224
Two appletinis, governor.
180
00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:22,827
Right back up on the monkey bars even
after she chipped her tooth there last week.
181
00:08:22,962 --> 00:08:23,685
That's nothing.
182
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,091
My kid's got a forehead full of stitches
from leaping off the jungle gym.
183
00:08:27,326 --> 00:08:28,269
When my wife's not around...
184
00:08:28,304 --> 00:08:28,603
Yeah?
185
00:08:28,838 --> 00:08:30,582
I let my daughter stand on my shoulders.
186
00:08:30,617 --> 00:08:32,856
Really? Wait till you get
a load of this.
187
00:08:33,391 --> 00:08:35,400
Ok, here we go.
What are we doing?
188
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,948
Come here, you.
You come here, you.
189
00:08:40,049 --> 00:08:42,796
Giant man, why are you
making that noise?
190
00:08:43,031 --> 00:08:44,401
Oh. Well, because my camera
191
00:08:44,402 --> 00:08:45,371
doesn't make a real sound,
192
00:08:45,372 --> 00:08:46,585
and it's more fun that way.
193
00:08:47,117 --> 00:08:48,105
See? You go...
194
00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:51,694
Look happy.
195
00:08:52,338 --> 00:08:53,005
Look sad.
196
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:55,103
Look crazy.
197
00:08:56,374 --> 00:08:58,149
Look like you're going away.
198
00:09:02,633 --> 00:09:05,526
You're coming in because you need to set
an example of professionalism, and you're
199
00:09:05,927 --> 00:09:07,965
certainly not going to do that by
making fun of that man's slinky-doo.
200
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,492
Don't pull me!
201
00:09:09,627 --> 00:09:12,723
I'm your boss, for god's-- Hello!
202
00:09:13,507 --> 00:09:17,078
Well, Mr. Gerst, your situation
doesn't seem to be reversing itself,
203
00:09:17,179 --> 00:09:20,423
So I think we're gonna need to schedule
a procedure to relieve the, uh,
204
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,164
Woodiness.
205
00:09:25,822 --> 00:09:27,352
My fianc�e is only 24,
206
00:09:27,387 --> 00:09:29,790
and she said she wanted to do
something special this morning.
207
00:09:29,825 --> 00:09:32,490
Turns out she just meant having
breakfast with her family.
208
00:09:32,925 --> 00:09:36,186
Those pills didn't really kick
in until just about the moment
209
00:09:36,187 --> 00:09:38,589
I'm introduced to her 90-year-old
grandmother.
210
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:44,179
And sure enough, that little lady gives
me the waist hug from her wheelchair.
211
00:09:44,414 --> 00:09:45,623
Excuse me, I need that chart.
212
00:09:45,758 --> 00:09:47,598
Sweetheart, it's not healthy
to hold it in.
213
00:09:47,633 --> 00:09:49,891
Just let it out.
You know you want to.
214
00:09:49,926 --> 00:09:50,513
I'm fine.
215
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:55,839
I pulled away from that encounter with all
of grandma Helen's breathing apparatus.
216
00:09:59,138 --> 00:10:00,598
My work here is done.
217
00:10:02,446 --> 00:10:04,238
Oh, my god, I can't stop!
218
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:07,428
I'm sorry.
I have to pee.
219
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:12,464
Ok, J.D., why are we sitting up here?
220
00:10:12,499 --> 00:10:15,867
Because you can see Elliot's
whole apartment from up here.
221
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,309
J.D., You're drunk.
222
00:10:18,344 --> 00:10:21,243
Carla, I'm not as
think as you drunk I am.
223
00:10:21,278 --> 00:10:22,292
Wait a minute--
224
00:10:24,588 --> 00:10:26,837
Then why can't you let go of the couch?
225
00:10:26,972 --> 00:10:29,762
I can't let go of the couch
if I so choose.
226
00:10:30,014 --> 00:10:32,139
Ok, let go of the couch.
Let it go.
227
00:10:34,755 --> 00:10:35,908
You see?
228
00:10:42,515 --> 00:10:45,876
There are many things we can't control
no matter how strong we might be...
229
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,131
Like a knee-jerk reaction...
230
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:52,802
I'm--I'm so sorry.
231
00:10:54,313 --> 00:10:55,401
I'm done.
232
00:10:55,736 --> 00:10:57,424
I'm done.
Yes.
233
00:10:57,963 --> 00:10:58,661
It's ok.
234
00:11:03,479 --> 00:11:05,483
Or a janitor who has it in for you.
235
00:11:06,812 --> 00:11:10,881
Hi. Look what someone was
nice enough to give me.
236
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,504
Janitor.
237
00:11:21,779 --> 00:11:24,644
Oh, thank you for helping me
have some fun tonight.
238
00:11:24,879 --> 00:11:25,936
You're welcome.
239
00:11:26,336 --> 00:11:30,305
And sometimes you let go of the control
you do in a brief moment of weakness.
240
00:11:36,414 --> 00:11:37,388
Sorry.
241
00:11:37,523 --> 00:11:38,907
Drunken accident.
242
00:11:39,042 --> 00:11:40,123
Nothing happened.
243
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:40,536
Right.
244
00:11:41,013 --> 00:11:41,960
- Good night.
- Good night.
245
00:11:41,995 --> 00:11:43,036
- Good night.
- Good night.
246
00:11:43,071 --> 00:11:46,582
- Buenas noches.
- Buenas... nose things.
247
00:11:46,617 --> 00:11:47,623
Good night.
248
00:11:50,023 --> 00:11:51,934
Like she said, everything's fine.
249
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:01,560
Nothing like the rays of the morning
sun kissing you awake and gently
250
00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:04,907
reminding you that you got drunk and
kissed your best friend's wife.
251
00:12:04,942 --> 00:12:06,270
Oh, my god!
252
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,058
Oh, my god!
253
00:12:08,293 --> 00:12:09,492
So it really happened?
254
00:12:09,527 --> 00:12:10,098
Yeah, but it was nothing!
255
00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:10,564
Nothing!
256
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:11,803
No, there wasn't even any tongue!
257
00:12:11,838 --> 00:12:12,383
No tongue!
258
00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:13,499
It was just a friend kiss.
259
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:14,599
Were your lips parted at all?
260
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:15,777
No, I pursed them like this.
261
00:12:16,452 --> 00:12:18,229
I don't know, J.D.,
I remember my one lip
262
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:20,265
being on top of your
upper lip and my other lip
263
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,942
being somewhere in the middle of yours,
which means your lips were apart and...
264
00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:24,837
I don't think that's a friend kiss!
265
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:28,008
Yes, it is, it's a friend kiss, and we
will never talk about this to anyone ever!
266
00:12:28,107 --> 00:12:28,585
All right.
267
00:12:29,362 --> 00:12:29,938
What's going on?
268
00:12:29,973 --> 00:12:30,635
Nothing.
269
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,458
J.D. And I kissed.
270
00:12:31,493 --> 00:12:32,076
Carla!
271
00:12:32,111 --> 00:12:33,072
You kissed?
Like a friend kiss?
272
00:12:33,107 --> 00:12:33,901
- Yes.
- No!
273
00:12:33,936 --> 00:12:35,243
Carla! You're killing me!
274
00:12:39,332 --> 00:12:40,931
This never leaves the room!
275
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,423
Why did you close my window?
276
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,601
Oh, no! She wrote "J.D. And Carla kissed"
on the paper and she's gonna tell Turk!
277
00:12:50,742 --> 00:12:52,818
No, no, stop her!
278
00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:55,511
Don't worry, ladies,
I've closed the window.
279
00:13:01,818 --> 00:13:04,118
J.D., I don't have a messenger monkey.
280
00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:10,877
All right, fine, I'm a little rougher
than you are, but guess what?
281
00:13:11,112 --> 00:13:14,132
The two of us have two distinctly
different parenting styles.
282
00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:17,944
You're an overbearing, hyper-cautious
psychotic, and I'm, well, you know...
283
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,310
fun.
284
00:13:20,482 --> 00:13:23,133
And I think if we can meet
somewhere in the middle,
285
00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:24,849
I think Jack's
gonna be terrific.
286
00:13:24,984 --> 00:13:28,337
Besides, it's not like I ever put
him in any real danger.
287
00:13:28,913 --> 00:13:29,766
Flip!
288
00:13:30,217 --> 00:13:32,905
Flip? What does "flip" mean, Perry?
289
00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:35,052
Jack probably thinks that
mommy and daddy
290
00:13:35,053 --> 00:13:37,577
are being a little too sarcastic
with each other.
291
00:13:37,812 --> 00:13:38,440
Maybe.
292
00:13:39,095 --> 00:13:41,544
Or it's because every time
he says "flip,"
293
00:13:41,579 --> 00:13:44,845
daddy does a little trick where
he grabs Jack by the ankles,
294
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,387
he flips him upside down,
295
00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:49,016
he drops him down onto
his shoulders, and then...
296
00:13:49,607 --> 00:13:51,837
puts him in a little baby trapeze,
297
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:54,480
shoots him across
the sand box without a net.
298
00:13:55,875 --> 00:13:57,931
You are never taking Jack
to the park without me.
299
00:13:57,966 --> 00:13:58,767
Ever!
300
00:13:59,302 --> 00:14:00,375
Jordan...
301
00:14:02,643 --> 00:14:03,913
A trapeze?!
302
00:14:04,048 --> 00:14:06,409
Yeah. Photoshop. You can do anything.
303
00:14:07,111 --> 00:14:09,576
Here I have you wearing
a duck's bill. Get it?
304
00:14:10,532 --> 00:14:12,090
Because you're a quack.
305
00:14:13,306 --> 00:14:15,853
No? Come on.
306
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:17,255
Classic comedy my friend.
307
00:14:17,904 --> 00:14:18,807
He'll learn.
308
00:14:19,974 --> 00:14:21,445
I'm such a horrible person.
309
00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:24,048
I mean, there I was, up on my high
horse about Mr. Gerst, and then
310
00:14:24,049 --> 00:14:25,745
I just turned out to be just
as bad as everyone else.
311
00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:27,230
Sweetheart, give yourself some credit.
312
00:14:27,231 --> 00:14:29,167
You were much worse than everyone else.
313
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:32,939
Maybe I was, but you know what?
I'm gonna try and better myself.
314
00:14:33,049 --> 00:14:34,833
And, unlike you,
I'm gonna follow through,
315
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:38,128
Mr. Sign-up-on-the-hospital-bulletin-board-for
-private-german-lessons-and-never-show-up.
316
00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:40,909
Yeah, that's right.
It was my flier...
317
00:14:40,944 --> 00:14:43,199
I waited at that coffe shop for hours
318
00:14:43,234 --> 00:14:45,060
I broke up with my german mistress.
319
00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:46,707
She smells like sauerkraut.
320
00:14:47,175 --> 00:14:48,405
I'm so sorry.
321
00:14:49,225 --> 00:14:50,219
Now, if you'll excuse me,
322
00:14:50,254 --> 00:14:52,677
I'm to go to that room right now,
and own up to what I did.
323
00:14:57,283 --> 00:15:00,770
Hello? Did someone come in?
324
00:15:04,161 --> 00:15:06,745
I had to hide from Turk, so I went
to the one place in the hospital
325
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,542
where I knew no one would ever venture.
326
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,596
- Ted?
- Ted?
327
00:15:11,631 --> 00:15:12,859
A little help!
328
00:15:12,894 --> 00:15:13,937
Ted, what are you doing?
329
00:15:14,423 --> 00:15:17,395
I like to do stomach
crunches after lunch.
330
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:19,240
Ted, lunch was 4 hours ago.
331
00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:22,150
Yep, I wasted most of my tuesday.
332
00:15:22,185 --> 00:15:23,288
It's wednesday.
333
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:26,832
Oh, man, I missed the Gilmore girls!
334
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:30,525
There you are.
335
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:31,292
Hey, Ted.
336
00:15:31,327 --> 00:15:31,750
Hey.
337
00:15:31,785 --> 00:15:32,673
So how did it go last night?
338
00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:35,108
Whoa! What's with the fifth degree?
339
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,391
Dude, don't you mean third degree?
340
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,639
No, because this is two degrees worse.
I can't breathe. It's like
341
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,667
you're all over me. I'm trapped in a
death coffin.
342
00:15:40,702 --> 00:15:42,795
Calm down. I just wanted to see
if you got anywhere with Carla.
343
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:46,782
All right, he knows your lying face,
but silence is incriminating, too. So think!
344
00:15:46,817 --> 00:15:48,574
What's between silence and talking?
345
00:15:51,157 --> 00:15:52,061
Turk?
346
00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,660
I thought you could take
me over to Elliot's place
347
00:15:54,711 --> 00:15:56,850
to get my stuff so I could move back in.
348
00:15:56,860 --> 00:15:57,590
Yeah, sure--
349
00:15:58,510 --> 00:15:59,327
Really?
350
00:16:00,930 --> 00:16:02,705
All right--
meet me downstairs, ok?
351
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:03,552
Ok.
352
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:04,677
I owe you one.
353
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:10,451
Ted, you should probably sit down.
You're looking a little purple.
354
00:16:10,486 --> 00:16:11,791
I know my own body.
355
00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:18,969
Thanks for saving my ass.
356
00:16:19,004 --> 00:16:21,164
Well, I wasn't saving your ass.
357
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:24,185
I didn't realize how easy
it is to make little mistakes.
358
00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:27,305
They're stupid little mistakes
that seem like nothing,
359
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:31,198
but can snowball on you and take
your whole marriage with it, you know?
360
00:16:31,982 --> 00:16:34,416
I feel like I really
understand now
361
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:37,451
how turk could have let
stuff like that happen, you know?
362
00:16:38,343 --> 00:16:39,369
So I forgave him.
363
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:42,489
Oh, well, I guess I'm glad
we kissed then.
364
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:43,583
Me, too.
365
00:16:45,619 --> 00:16:46,690
You guys ready?
366
00:16:46,725 --> 00:16:48,917
Yeah, we are.
Let's do it.
367
00:16:57,467 --> 00:16:59,936
Ok, we just saw the plastic surgeon.
368
00:17:00,634 --> 00:17:05,083
Jack is fine, but if the cut was 4
inches to the left and 7 inches deeper,
369
00:17:05,084 --> 00:17:07,693
it could have potentially
scratched his eye.
370
00:17:07,728 --> 00:17:08,733
That was a close one.
371
00:17:09,501 --> 00:17:12,000
What a sweet little angel.
372
00:17:12,035 --> 00:17:14,511
Can I just give him a little squeeze?
373
00:17:14,546 --> 00:17:15,184
Of course.
374
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:17,293
Back off their, lady.
375
00:17:17,835 --> 00:17:19,880
How's about you save up
all that energy for the cruise?
376
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:22,321
Go on, get out of here.
Hippity-hop to the barber shop.
377
00:17:22,356 --> 00:17:23,043
Come on, mom.
378
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,110
Jordan, this hospital is literally
379
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,617
crawling with germs and disease,
and in all fairness,
380
00:17:28,618 --> 00:17:30,509
you don't know
if that lady is a sickie
381
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:31,879
or if she was here
visiting a sickie
382
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,933
and she ran her sickie hands
all over her sickie face.
383
00:17:33,968 --> 00:17:35,836
I normally never
let people touch him.
384
00:17:36,563 --> 00:17:37,396
Oh, really?
385
00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:39,897
Because these photographs
would beg to differ.
386
00:17:40,251 --> 00:17:42,121
Old lady kissing Jack,
387
00:17:42,356 --> 00:17:44,673
teenage girl hugging Jack,
388
00:17:45,114 --> 00:17:46,559
homeless man...
389
00:17:47,156 --> 00:17:49,275
holding Jack.
390
00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:50,341
Jordan!
391
00:17:50,376 --> 00:17:51,567
It's just Carl.
392
00:17:51,602 --> 00:17:53,413
He holds Jack when I get a bikini wax.
393
00:17:54,487 --> 00:17:55,515
What's the matter with me?
394
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:58,032
I mean, I don't think twice
about people holding him,
395
00:17:58,067 --> 00:18:00,838
and yet I obsess about
things like broken arms,
396
00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:03,625
broken legs, choking,
kidnapping, drowning, silly putty,
397
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:05,097
bad babysitters, pretty babysitters.
398
00:18:05,132 --> 00:18:08,639
Yeah, I pretty much freak out over
staff infections, blood disease, mumps,
399
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,379
measles, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and
definitely all registered independents,
400
00:18:12,414 --> 00:18:14,353
so I think between us
we've got it covered.
401
00:18:14,725 --> 00:18:16,359
Was this taken at my mother's house?
402
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:17,582
I gotta go.
403
00:18:20,198 --> 00:18:21,664
Dude, that did not happen.
404
00:18:22,878 --> 00:18:24,568
No, I'm in the hospital because I--
405
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,505
they think I have avian flu.
406
00:18:28,279 --> 00:18:29,380
I gotta call you back.
407
00:18:29,415 --> 00:18:30,834
How long have you been there?
408
00:18:31,465 --> 00:18:35,443
Oh, 47, 48 minutes. I'm not sure,
I nodded off for a while.
409
00:18:37,018 --> 00:18:40,172
Mr. Gerst I'm so sorry
for laughing at you
410
00:18:40,207 --> 00:18:41,445
But I have to tell you a story
411
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,055
When I was in the seventh grade,
412
00:18:43,090 --> 00:18:45,107
I was at a roller rink and
I needed to go to the bathroom.
413
00:18:45,178 --> 00:18:49,680
So I just skated right on into a stall
and I did my, uh, private business,
414
00:18:49,715 --> 00:18:53,199
and then when I went to pull up my pants,
I started rolling towards the door,
415
00:18:53,234 --> 00:18:54,501
which as it turned out, wasn't latched.
416
00:18:54,506 --> 00:18:55,989
Now, I don't know if you've
had any experience roller
417
00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:57,653
skating with your underpants
around your ankles.
418
00:18:57,688 --> 00:18:59,000
It's very difficult to stop
419
00:18:59,047 --> 00:19:01,001
Unless, of course, you know,
you scream so loud
420
00:19:01,102 --> 00:19:03,904
that they turn off the
music and everyone is looking at you.
421
00:19:04,153 --> 00:19:07,225
Anyway, that's how I wound up
with the nickname "roller moler."
422
00:19:07,889 --> 00:19:08,688
I'm sorry?
423
00:19:08,723 --> 00:19:09,921
I have a mole on my ass.
424
00:19:09,956 --> 00:19:10,303
Oh.
425
00:19:10,679 --> 00:19:13,039
The cute kind, not the hairy kind.
426
00:19:13,784 --> 00:19:16,250
Anyway, the next day I showed up
at school with roller skates on,
427
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:17,700
and everybody cracked up.
428
00:19:18,371 --> 00:19:19,455
Why are you telling this?
429
00:19:19,703 --> 00:19:21,220
Because I owned up to it.
430
00:19:21,255 --> 00:19:22,768
This is funny, Mr Gerst,
431
00:19:22,803 --> 00:19:24,980
and if you don't just embrace
it and become part of the joke,
432
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,423
then it will follow you
around and devour you.
433
00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,409
Can I get a look at tha mole?
434
00:19:29,444 --> 00:19:31,778
No.
Ahem. No.
435
00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:38,866
This is nice, the three of us sitting
together again like a three musketeers.
436
00:19:38,901 --> 00:19:39,503
Yeah.
437
00:19:39,838 --> 00:19:44,787
And I need you guys to scrape your plates
before you put them in the dishwasher.
438
00:19:44,822 --> 00:19:46,325
She's back.
439
00:19:46,544 --> 00:19:48,063
My baby's back!
440
00:19:50,653 --> 00:19:51,525
Carla was right.
441
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,401
If a relationship's gonna work,
it has to be based on trust,
442
00:19:54,436 --> 00:19:56,212
like a wife trusting her husband again.
443
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,342
- Hey.
- Hey.
444
00:19:57,745 --> 00:19:59,331
Your kid's back on the jungle gym.
445
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,034
Oh, sure.
446
00:20:00,069 --> 00:20:01,058
Guess your wife backed down.
447
00:20:01,093 --> 00:20:02,844
You bet your sweet ass she did.
448
00:20:03,324 --> 00:20:04,872
Even if it involves a compromise.
449
00:20:06,821 --> 00:20:09,652
Hey, Jack! Just blink when you
want me to get you down.
450
00:20:10,015 --> 00:20:11,402
Just give me the old blink-a-roonie.
451
00:20:11,852 --> 00:20:12,866
Terrific athlete.
452
00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:14,817
I'm thinking 2016 olympics.
453
00:20:15,852 --> 00:20:18,013
Oh, god, was that a blink?
Excuse me.
454
00:20:21,008 --> 00:20:24,312
Or a patient trusting his doctor
to help him hold on to his dignity.
455
00:20:24,644 --> 00:20:28,021
Yes, and then I pulled off grandma's
breathing apparatus.
456
00:20:28,256 --> 00:20:29,637
No, I'm serious.
457
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,224
May take a lot of work,
but it's worth it.
458
00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:37,566
Wow, that was a moist kiss.
459
00:20:37,931 --> 00:20:39,077
Wish I was wearing an apron.
460
00:20:39,516 --> 00:20:42,883
Baby, from here on out,
I hide nothing from you.
461
00:20:43,598 --> 00:20:45,164
It's a clean start for us.
462
00:20:46,876 --> 00:20:47,954
Sports time!
463
00:20:48,416 --> 00:20:50,629
Because in the end,
things work out for the best.
464
00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:54,825
J.D. And I kissed.
465
00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:00,681
Or not.
466
00:21:01,105 --> 00:21:03,098
www.forom.com
467
00:21:03,148 --> 00:21:07,698
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