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1
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Even though it can be tough around here,
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00:00:04,154 --> 00:00:07,279
sometimes God gives you little gifts
to get you through the day.
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00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
4
00:00:14,834 --> 00:00:16,044
You're gonna wanna grab a mop--
5
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,232
Shush. Watching 'The Sixth Sense'.
6
00:00:18,248 --> 00:00:20,081
There's a mess in the hallway.
7
00:00:20,095 --> 00:00:22,225
This kid sees dead people.
8
00:00:22,415 --> 00:00:24,381
That film is at least five years old.
9
00:00:24,408 --> 00:00:25,968
So what? I haven't seen it.
10
00:00:28,897 --> 00:00:31,317
Bruce Willis is a ghost.
11
00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:34,435
He's been dead the entire time... Oh!
12
00:00:35,171 --> 00:00:35,891
All the best.
13
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:38,784
Noooo! NO!
14
00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:41,386
You guys, I am so excited about tonight.
15
00:00:41,411 --> 00:00:43,352
Settle down,
we're just going to a nightclub.
16
00:00:43,385 --> 00:00:46,345
No, Carla, an African-American club.
17
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:47,839
Promise me you'll be cool.
18
00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:51,667
In Turk's defense,
we had tried this once before.
19
00:00:54,661 --> 00:00:56,796
You can't touch me.
20
00:00:59,387 --> 00:01:01,282
And once before that.
21
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,932
Yeeeeeaaaaah, booooooy!
22
00:01:06,281 --> 00:01:09,979
Man, it's only ten o'clock.
23
00:01:10,836 --> 00:01:13,031
But, hey, third time's the charm.
24
00:01:13,078 --> 00:01:14,958
All right, you three can go in.
25
00:01:15,005 --> 00:01:16,572
Word.
Ah! You're out.
26
00:01:16,603 --> 00:01:18,253
Oh, look, sir, please, just--
27
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,339
Baby, I got this. Don't worry about this.
Listen here, man,
28
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,660
homey here, you know,
he's a little outta his mizzle,
29
00:01:22,661 --> 00:01:24,483
so I'm just saying,
for just a little bizzle,
30
00:01:24,514 --> 00:01:27,749
if you let him up in this pizzle,
he'll be all chizzle!
31
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,136
You out too.
32
00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:30,532
Look, sir.
33
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:34,887
This is for idiot number one,
and this is for idiot number two.
34
00:01:42,467 --> 00:01:44,273
Oh, I knew I'd get in!
35
00:01:44,292 --> 00:01:46,728
Just don't lose your head, Bambi!
36
00:01:55,311 --> 00:01:58,640
Turk!
J.D.'s doing the--
37
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:08,408
Heh. Oh, God.
38
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:12,561
After two hours of intense roboting,
I was parched.
39
00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:17,660
And that's when I saw Kylie.
40
00:02:21,054 --> 00:02:23,253
Uh, can you make me an appletini?
41
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,730
I hope so,
it's my favorite drink.
42
00:02:25,742 --> 00:02:27,340
Oh my God, that's a sign.
43
00:02:27,341 --> 00:02:29,897
If only she had
my goofy sense of humor.
44
00:02:29,907 --> 00:02:33,786
Ran out of vodka.
Let me go downstairs and get some more.
45
00:02:38,814 --> 00:02:41,485
I been working on
my fake stair walk.
46
00:02:41,517 --> 00:02:43,083
Okay, time to
move in for the kill.
47
00:02:43,084 --> 00:02:46,304
Work the fact that you're a doctor
into the conversation. Just be subtle.
48
00:02:46,342 --> 00:02:51,011
I'm a doctor. Uh, John Dorian.
Most of my patients live.
49
00:02:51,023 --> 00:02:54,266
This is so weird!
I been looking for a doctor! See...
50
00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:56,496
My God,
look at those beautiful eyes.
51
00:02:56,497 --> 00:02:58,872
They're so big
I can see myself in them.
52
00:02:58,903 --> 00:03:00,829
Wow, how cute am I!
53
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:05,379
...so it's probably nothing big, but
I'm wondering if you could check it out?
54
00:03:05,414 --> 00:03:06,034
You got it!
55
00:03:06,035 --> 00:03:08,895
Come by Sacred Heart tomorrow,
I have clinic hours.
56
00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:11,664
After all, I'm a doctor.
57
00:03:13,146 --> 00:03:15,292
Dude, I can't believe this.
You're gonna date a patient!
58
00:03:15,339 --> 00:03:16,899
I hope she has something that
keeps her here for a while
59
00:03:16,934 --> 00:03:18,136
so you can get to know her.
60
00:03:18,171 --> 00:03:20,580
I gotta thank you for
taking a special interest in this.
61
00:03:20,607 --> 00:03:22,037
Don't give him too much credit.
62
00:03:22,038 --> 00:03:24,068
He's just excited because
he wishes he dated
63
00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:25,959
more sexy black women
when he was single.
64
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:27,667
Well, at least he married one.
65
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,574
- Todd, I'm not black.
- Right, and I'm not straight.
66
00:03:32,095 --> 00:03:34,657
Do you ever get that special
fluttery feeling in your heart
67
00:03:34,658 --> 00:03:37,089
when you feel like a woman
is about to change your life?
68
00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:39,103
Hey! J.D.!
69
00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:43,633
This is my boyfriend James.
Thanks again for seeing him.
70
00:03:44,408 --> 00:03:45,364
How's your heart?
71
00:03:45,402 --> 00:03:46,389
The fluttering has stopped.
72
00:03:46,404 --> 00:03:48,566
There!
Is she black?
73
00:03:48,582 --> 00:03:49,334
Nuh-uh.
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00:03:49,381 --> 00:03:51,951
Transcripts :
www.mopnt.com
75
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:55,069
Subtitles : Dark�e�
Checking : Ncolas
76
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:59,228
Scrubs Episode 4x15
My Hypocritical Oath
77
00:03:59,244 --> 00:04:01,786
www.forom.com
78
00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:04,515
Be with you in a second.
79
00:04:04,531 --> 00:04:05,828
Thanks, doc!
80
00:04:06,528 --> 00:04:09,873
It's funny, I thought you said
you were the one who needed a doctor.
81
00:04:09,904 --> 00:04:11,684
No, I told you it was James.
82
00:04:11,728 --> 00:04:13,703
Ohh. How could I not have heard that?
83
00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:15,042
Remember, I said...
84
00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:18,356
My God, look at those beautiful eyes.
They're so bi--
85
00:04:18,387 --> 00:04:19,659
You're doing it again!
86
00:04:19,687 --> 00:04:21,685
so...
I'll see you in there.
87
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,037
Okay. In there, I'll see you.
88
00:04:25,069 --> 00:04:28,186
Oh man, I can't believe it's over.
89
00:04:28,219 --> 00:04:30,717
Dude, maybe it's not that serious,
all right? There could be a window.
90
00:04:30,718 --> 00:04:34,293
But you have to get in there
and fish for information, all right?
91
00:04:34,336 --> 00:04:35,949
You don't want to lose this hottie!
92
00:04:35,974 --> 00:04:38,016
She is a slammin' hottie!
And you don't wann--
93
00:04:38,048 --> 00:04:39,158
- Turk.
- Mm-hmm.
94
00:04:39,189 --> 00:04:41,757
I got this:
Baby, you know you're his world!
95
00:04:42,338 --> 00:04:45,385
I'm going for it. But I got--
I gotta-- I gotta go in there hot.
96
00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:47,766
Turk, what's that joke
that Mickhead always tells?
97
00:04:47,797 --> 00:04:51,440
Dude? A guy walks into
a dentist's office and says,
98
00:04:51,469 --> 00:04:52,531
"I think I'm a moth."
99
00:04:52,532 --> 00:04:55,364
The dentist then says,
"Well, if you think you're a moth,
100
00:04:55,391 --> 00:04:58,552
why'd you come to the dentist's office?"
The guy then says:
101
00:04:58,576 --> 00:05:00,641
"Well, the light was on."
102
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,514
That moth is crazy!
103
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,387
Hey, I heard a great joke.
104
00:05:06,388 --> 00:05:08,337
A guy walks into
a dentist's office and says,
105
00:05:08,338 --> 00:05:09,246
"I think I'm a moth."
106
00:05:09,262 --> 00:05:11,701
And the dentist says,
"Well, if you think you're a moth,
107
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:13,225
why are you at a dentist's office?"
108
00:05:13,257 --> 00:05:14,722
Oh, no, I forgot the punchline....
109
00:05:14,753 --> 00:05:18,065
You can't bail out now! Stall! Stall!
110
00:05:18,647 --> 00:05:20,521
... So the moth says...
111
00:05:20,905 --> 00:05:24,940
"That's a good question.
What kind of dentist are you?"
112
00:05:24,971 --> 00:05:27,494
And the dentist says,
"Well, I'm a general dentist,
113
00:05:27,512 --> 00:05:31,285
but I... I do dabble in orthodontry--
braces and such."
114
00:05:31,316 --> 00:05:33,431
And...and the moth says:
115
00:05:33,494 --> 00:05:36,752
"Orthodontry?
I hear there's great money in that."
116
00:05:36,799 --> 00:05:37,982
"The light was on"!
117
00:05:38,017 --> 00:05:39,932
"But! To answer your original question,
118
00:05:39,933 --> 00:05:43,075
which was, if I think I'm a moth,
why am I in a dentist's office?
119
00:05:43,082 --> 00:05:46,020
The answer is,
Because the light was on!"
120
00:05:47,054 --> 00:05:49,890
The light!
The light, James.
121
00:05:49,927 --> 00:05:51,353
Moths love light.
122
00:05:51,388 --> 00:05:54,242
So, James, other than
your funny bone being broken,
123
00:05:54,243 --> 00:05:55,865
what seems to be the problem?
124
00:05:55,881 --> 00:05:58,278
I've had a fever and stomach ache
for almost a week.
125
00:05:58,309 --> 00:06:00,439
Okay, well, uh,
let's get a little history on you.
126
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,641
Time to go fishing for some info.
127
00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:04,568
Do you ever have any,
uh, shortness of breath?
128
00:06:04,616 --> 00:06:08,203
For instance when you're walking
Kylie to the apartment that you share?
129
00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:09,465
We don't live together.
130
00:06:09,525 --> 00:06:11,211
Window! Window!
131
00:06:11,226 --> 00:06:14,548
Oh, so you're--
you're waiting until you get married?
132
00:06:14,579 --> 00:06:15,879
We're not engaged.
133
00:06:15,919 --> 00:06:18,566
To answer your question,
I don't have any shortness of breath.
134
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,038
But my right knee is a little puffy.
135
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,623
Well, maybe that's from
dragging your feet! Am I right, Kylie!
136
00:06:22,639 --> 00:06:25,224
Heh. She knows! Okay.
137
00:06:25,256 --> 00:06:28,440
Using patient histories
to your advantage is an old doctor trick
138
00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:32,410
Let's face it: What a doctor says and what
they mean are often two different things.
139
00:06:32,436 --> 00:06:34,793
I know Dr. Robbins treated
your husband in the E.R.,
140
00:06:34,824 --> 00:06:37,258
but we're gonna
approach this case a bit differently.
141
00:06:37,293 --> 00:06:41,383
And it's very comforting
to have the chief of medicine here.
142
00:06:41,981 --> 00:06:44,461
I took a special interest in this case.
143
00:06:44,476 --> 00:06:47,576
Oh, thank you!
144
00:06:49,262 --> 00:06:50,594
Hey, Elliot.
145
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:53,758
Your boobies look hot today.
146
00:06:54,516 --> 00:06:56,555
Mr. Chang's test results
showed that he's in renal failure.
147
00:06:56,556 --> 00:06:58,421
We're just waiting for
the results of his blood smear.
148
00:06:58,433 --> 00:07:01,930
No need. I saw his chart right before
I went to the bakery. He's got malaria.
149
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:05,825
And you were going to tell
him this after you had a sticky bun?
150
00:07:05,878 --> 00:07:06,847
Well, in my defense,
151
00:07:06,848 --> 00:07:10,509
he's going to live at least another 12 hours
and the bakery closes at five.
152
00:07:10,544 --> 00:07:13,351
Well, we've gotta get moving on this!
What should we do?
153
00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:17,951
Nothing.
Mr. Chang is not long for this world.
154
00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:21,063
Do you believe that guy?
155
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:26,018
I never cease to be amazed by the depth
of his cynicism and callousness.
156
00:07:26,072 --> 00:07:27,544
So, what do you think we should do?
157
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,509
Oh, I don't care. I'm going home
to watch the Lakers play the Heat.
158
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:32,898
It's the game of the year--
Shaq versus Kobe.
159
00:07:32,929 --> 00:07:35,968
And you are going to stay here
and deal with this yourself.
160
00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:37,605
Shaq versus Kobe?
161
00:07:37,637 --> 00:07:39,846
All the best.
Ooh! Let it happen!
162
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,261
Three, two, one!
Ahhhhhh!
163
00:07:46,636 --> 00:07:47,858
What's this stretch good for?
164
00:07:47,896 --> 00:07:49,385
It loosens up my chest.
165
00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:50,882
But you should probably stretch too.
166
00:07:50,913 --> 00:07:52,235
Don't need to, buddy --
167
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:55,259
I got a tube of Ben-Gay
on each one of my hamstrings.
168
00:07:55,306 --> 00:07:56,747
How things going with Kylie?
169
00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:59,755
They're okay. Is there some special
way to get a black girl to like you?
170
00:07:59,802 --> 00:08:01,843
Dude, the only difference between
a black girl and a white girl is that
171
00:08:01,878 --> 00:08:04,598
when a black girl asks you
if her ass looks big?
172
00:08:04,638 --> 00:08:06,432
- You say, "Hell yeah!"
- All right!
173
00:08:06,464 --> 00:08:07,874
Okay! You wanna play some ball?
174
00:08:07,914 --> 00:08:09,308
Hell, yes!
175
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,513
Dr. Kelso, I have thought about it,
176
00:08:13,529 --> 00:08:16,465
and I am not going to just stand
around and wait for Mr. Chang to die.
177
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,485
- Excuse me?
- Are you kidding me?
178
00:08:18,533 --> 00:08:22,109
Barbie going toe-to-toe with Big Bob
in a battle of the annoyings?
179
00:08:22,141 --> 00:08:24,276
Well, happy birthday to me
180
00:08:24,308 --> 00:08:25,943
We should do an exchange transfusion.
181
00:08:25,975 --> 00:08:29,688
And the southpaw with the blonde bangs
and the big britches comes out sa-winging!
182
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:33,216
Sweetheart, the man is seventy-two
and in multisystem organ dysfunction.
183
00:08:33,224 --> 00:08:36,020
It's done!
It's parasites one, person zero!
184
00:08:36,032 --> 00:08:40,285
And if you tell that family he's got a chance,
all you're doing is raising their hopes.
185
00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:42,758
Ohhh! Tremendous body blow!
186
00:08:42,759 --> 00:08:45,242
Oh, and for the record,
we're not colleagues.
187
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,171
I don't care what you think.
188
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,118
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
189
00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:53,931
And the fight goes to the stocky
middleweight from Monroeville, Pennsylvania!
190
00:08:53,932 --> 00:08:56,780
By the way, Perry, Mickhead called
in sick. I need you to work tonight.
191
00:08:56,812 --> 00:08:59,316
Well, yeah, that's well and good,
but I'm not available.
192
00:08:59,341 --> 00:09:03,614
There is no chance I am missing this game!
No chance, no how!
193
00:09:03,622 --> 00:09:06,746
What the...? Say, Bob,
194
00:09:06,943 --> 00:09:09,353
what the hell happened in your office?
195
00:09:09,747 --> 00:09:12,584
Oh, every year the med students
get me with a practical joke.
196
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,412
They messed with the
speed control on my treadmill.
197
00:09:23,783 --> 00:09:26,491
What I can't figure
is how they got into my office.
198
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,930
Here's the key to Kelso's office.
199
00:09:28,946 --> 00:09:30,933
And here's Nurse Tisdale's phone number.
200
00:09:31,859 --> 00:09:34,783
I don't have any idea
how they might have gotten in here, Bob.
201
00:09:34,815 --> 00:09:35,695
But I can tell you this:
202
00:09:35,696 --> 00:09:38,520
If you think I'm missing the biggest
game of the year, you got another thing--
203
00:09:38,532 --> 00:09:39,517
I hate to interrupt you,
204
00:09:39,518 --> 00:09:42,882
but I'm still feeling a little woozy from
being shot into my wall like a lawn dart.
205
00:09:42,914 --> 00:09:47,584
So why don't you just go work your
shift and use my VCR to tape the game?
206
00:09:49,895 --> 00:09:51,225
When did you get this?
207
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,041
Right about the time we
couldn't afford that M.R.I. machine.
208
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:56,381
Ah, of course you did.
209
00:09:58,008 --> 00:10:00,947
Hey, Kylie, I wrote down
that moth joke for you.
210
00:10:00,988 --> 00:10:01,996
Wow.
211
00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:05,353
Give her a compliment.
Tell her she has a huge ass!
212
00:10:05,388 --> 00:10:07,506
- You--
- What happened to your eye?
213
00:10:07,542 --> 00:10:10,414
Oh, this, it's a little
embarrassing. I was playing baske--
214
00:10:10,446 --> 00:10:13,558
Embarrassing for me, actually, see....
It's wing-man time.
215
00:10:13,591 --> 00:10:18,176
We were playing basketball, and he scored
eight buckets in a row on yours truly.
216
00:10:18,204 --> 00:10:19,890
- Yeah. I ally-ooped him.
- Shut up.
217
00:10:19,922 --> 00:10:22,620
Mmm! You coulda used J.D. at Seton Hall!
218
00:10:22,638 --> 00:10:25,396
Oh, also, the soup kitchen where
you volunteer called, and they said--
219
00:10:25,431 --> 00:10:26,627
You played ball at Seton Hall?
220
00:10:26,665 --> 00:10:27,953
All four years.
221
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,535
Get outta here!
222
00:10:29,553 --> 00:10:31,830
Did-did-did the soup kitchen
where I volunteer have a message?
223
00:10:31,851 --> 00:10:34,394
Yeah, they're out of broth.
So what was like playing college ball?
224
00:10:34,406 --> 00:10:37,220
Sweetie, I'm gonna go to the
cafeteria and get you a coffee.
225
00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:37,970
Oh, okay.
226
00:10:37,988 --> 00:10:40,618
Hell, no! Sweetie ain't
drinking no cafeteria coffee!
227
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:44,191
Sweetie, you are drinking
the coffee from the doctors' lounge!
228
00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:48,504
Let's. Seton Hall, huh? That is...
229
00:10:48,536 --> 00:10:52,712
Thank you. Your test results,
let's see what's going on.
230
00:10:53,266 --> 00:10:56,388
Your gram stain shows that you have...
231
00:10:58,632 --> 00:11:00,772
you have gonorrhea.
232
00:11:02,573 --> 00:11:05,403
... We should probably test
Kylie to see if she's infected.
233
00:11:05,434 --> 00:11:07,854
Oh, no, we haven't slept together...
yet.
234
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,886
It's not like I'm missing out --
235
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:11,853
shoot, I probably got it
from my secretary.
236
00:11:11,885 --> 00:11:13,602
Or that trainer from the gym.
237
00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:17,332
Ooh, or this fine chick, Tamyra,
that bartends with Kylie? Yeah.
238
00:11:18,159 --> 00:11:19,900
Well, we should probably get--
239
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:23,208
get you fixed up, or things might
start falling off of ya.
240
00:11:23,995 --> 00:11:25,595
Listen up.
241
00:11:25,638 --> 00:11:29,414
I have been cursed to work
the night shift with you chuckleheads,
242
00:11:29,415 --> 00:11:32,144
which means I have to tape
the Laker-Heat game.
243
00:11:32,145 --> 00:11:35,476
And seeing as no one
in the history of this germ box
244
00:11:35,511 --> 00:11:37,288
has ever made it through a shift
without saying
245
00:11:37,304 --> 00:11:38,549
"Oh my God, oh, my God,
246
00:11:38,550 --> 00:11:42,066
did you see what happened
last night on America's Fattest Fatties?
247
00:11:42,082 --> 00:11:45,695
A 900 pound woman lost a pound and
a half and cried for twenty minutes!"
248
00:11:45,728 --> 00:11:49,853
Be warned: If you utter
a word about the score of the game,
249
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,615
it will be your last.
250
00:11:51,956 --> 00:11:53,657
Now get out!
251
00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:56,081
Go, go, go, go, go.
Chop chop!
252
00:11:56,097 --> 00:11:58,831
What drives people to seek revenge?
253
00:12:00,097 --> 00:12:01,071
So....
254
00:12:01,169 --> 00:12:04,119
You don't want to know
the ending of something?
255
00:12:04,143 --> 00:12:06,140
I can relate to that.
256
00:12:06,528 --> 00:12:07,983
What is that in your lap?
257
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:11,310
Leonard! Half kitten, half monkey!
258
00:12:15,405 --> 00:12:17,421
Unfortunately,
with his system failing,
259
00:12:17,422 --> 00:12:20,367
Dr. Reid and I have agreed
there's nothing more we can do.
260
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,684
What drives people
to go back on their word?
261
00:12:24,457 --> 00:12:27,700
If we do an exchange transfusion there's
a chance we can save your father.
262
00:12:27,715 --> 00:12:32,316
Oh! Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
263
00:12:32,656 --> 00:12:34,792
Now, you have to
keep this between us--
264
00:12:34,793 --> 00:12:37,421
you know, doctor-patient
confidentiality, right?
265
00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:41,016
And what do you do when every fiber
of your being wants to say something,
266
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,246
but you know you can't?
267
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,917
Hey! What are you guys talking about?
268
00:12:47,406 --> 00:12:48,913
Nothin'!
269
00:12:57,391 --> 00:13:00,131
Why do all the good ones have
boyfriends with venereal diseases
270
00:13:00,132 --> 00:13:02,653
but you can't say anything 'cause
you're the guy's doctor?
271
00:13:02,691 --> 00:13:05,142
I am so sick of men screwing women over!
272
00:13:05,158 --> 00:13:08,974
Like cheating on them or using your
lavender bath gel to wash their car!
273
00:13:09,017 --> 00:13:10,954
Baby, you did not just
compare cheating and
274
00:13:10,955 --> 00:13:12,800
getting gonorrhea to me
using your soap--
275
00:13:12,832 --> 00:13:15,325
I'm just saying men let you down.
276
00:13:15,363 --> 00:13:17,343
J.D., you have to tell her.
277
00:13:17,368 --> 00:13:19,991
Baby, when J.D. became a doctor,
he took the Hippocratic Oath.
278
00:13:19,992 --> 00:13:21,853
And I'm sorry, but
there's no way around it.
279
00:13:25,621 --> 00:13:27,774
Is... there an "A"?
280
00:13:28,076 --> 00:13:30,001
Yes there is!
281
00:13:30,775 --> 00:13:32,066
Yes!
282
00:13:32,531 --> 00:13:35,098
There may be a way around it...
283
00:13:36,451 --> 00:13:37,667
Thanks.
284
00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:46,017
Ooh, Bar-bye!
You are up there without a net this time!
285
00:13:46,041 --> 00:13:49,396
Well, I sure do hope Mr. Chang rallies
for ya, because if he doesn't,
286
00:13:49,421 --> 00:13:51,878
sure shootin' you're gonna be hearing
Bob Kelso's voice saying
287
00:13:51,913 --> 00:13:54,289
"sweetheart, I told you so"
288
00:13:54,332 --> 00:13:56,200
from now until you are
two inches shorter
289
00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:58,798
and driving around Florida
with your left-hand blinker on.
290
00:13:58,927 --> 00:14:02,455
Oh, now it's time to ruin the game!
Come with me to the window!
291
00:14:02,469 --> 00:14:04,233
Why? What do you have,
some elaborate plan?
292
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,781
I do, as a matter of fact.
293
00:14:05,829 --> 00:14:08,205
I convinced everybody
in this hospital that's afraid of me
294
00:14:08,206 --> 00:14:10,254
to go outside and spell out
the score of the game.
295
00:14:10,303 --> 00:14:11,247
Really?
296
00:14:11,397 --> 00:14:14,275
No, you idiot. I'm just gonna
tell you the score of the game
297
00:14:14,356 --> 00:14:16,230
... maybe knock your head
against the glass.
298
00:14:16,495 --> 00:14:20,239
Look. I was way outta line telling
you how that movie ended.
299
00:14:20,263 --> 00:14:21,931
But, God save me,
300
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:26,401
watching sports is one of the last
pure pleasures I have left in my life.
301
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,803
So you, you tell me,
what's it gonna take
302
00:14:28,857 --> 00:14:31,727
for you to let me go home,
sit in my massage chair,
303
00:14:31,847 --> 00:14:33,681
and enjoy the game?
304
00:14:33,987 --> 00:14:37,350
I would like...
to perform open-heart surgery.
305
00:14:37,791 --> 00:14:38,710
No.
306
00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:41,850
How about you perform surgery
on me so that I can breathe under water.
307
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:42,410
No.
308
00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:44,429
I would like a shark
that can read minds.
309
00:14:44,574 --> 00:14:45,333
No!
310
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:47,307
You and I trade lives for a year.
311
00:14:47,381 --> 00:14:48,084
No!
312
00:14:48,357 --> 00:14:51,076
How about a home-cooked meal
and an hour in your massage chair?
313
00:14:51,111 --> 00:14:51,798
Done.
314
00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:52,990
Done!
315
00:14:56,272 --> 00:14:59,719
Hey, guys! It's off!
316
00:15:02,909 --> 00:15:03,775
Wow!
317
00:15:04,714 --> 00:15:06,450
You guys are organized!
318
00:15:09,015 --> 00:15:11,456
Hey! Catch that Lakers-Heat game?
319
00:15:11,488 --> 00:15:14,031
Five seconds left! --
320
00:15:20,272 --> 00:15:22,421
I can't believe you make
three hundred dollars in tips a night.
321
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,994
This is why doctors
should have tip jars.
322
00:15:25,037 --> 00:15:27,741
I mean, I make three
bucks for serving a martini,
323
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,975
you put your lips on the mouth of a
slobbering dead guy and bring him back to life --
324
00:15:31,018 --> 00:15:34,646
that's gotta be worth
at least a five spot!
325
00:15:37,483 --> 00:15:40,011
I... should be getting back to James.
326
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:43,683
There's no rush. Uh, a nurse is up there
right now getting some blood from him.
327
00:15:44,339 --> 00:15:48,764
Oh! I'm sorry! It's never taken
me twelve pokes to find a vein!
328
00:15:49,062 --> 00:15:51,914
- Ow!
- Got it! Wheeeee!
329
00:15:51,936 --> 00:15:56,299
Ugh, I shoulda brought my laptop --
I could've gotten so much work done.
330
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,855
You can bartend online?
331
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:00,232
I just work at the club
to pay for grad school.
332
00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:02,785
I'm getting my Masters in
political science.
333
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:05,840
I love politics! Ask me anything!
334
00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:08,369
What are you doing?!
You don't know anything about politics!
335
00:16:08,413 --> 00:16:10,061
You're screwed unless
she asks about Bush
336
00:16:10,062 --> 00:16:12,594
or the bald assistant president
who has all those heart attacks!
337
00:16:12,619 --> 00:16:17,876
Did you know only 17% of people
under the age of 25 voted last year?
338
00:16:17,924 --> 00:16:20,426
You can vote if you're under 25?
339
00:16:21,066 --> 00:16:22,918
The only thing you can
take solace in is that
340
00:16:22,919 --> 00:16:25,415
a girl like her would probably
never be interested in you anyway.
341
00:16:25,521 --> 00:16:28,327
I can't believe a cute guy like you
doesn't have a girlfriend.
342
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,716
If I was single,
I'd totally snatch you up.
343
00:16:31,143 --> 00:16:34,036
Would you like to play
a game of Hangman?
344
00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:38,406
As I sat there letting my interns
do all my work,
345
00:16:38,407 --> 00:16:40,554
I wondered if there was
a parallel universe
346
00:16:40,579 --> 00:16:43,389
where another J.D. and another
Kylie could be together because
347
00:16:43,424 --> 00:16:46,480
there's no Hippocratic Oath
on planet Glornak Seven.
348
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,103
Are you on Glornak Seven?
349
00:16:48,151 --> 00:16:49,340
Why are you so happy?
350
00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:52,406
I just did an exchange transfusion
on my malaria patient in there,
351
00:16:52,407 --> 00:16:53,943
and he just woke up from his coma.
352
00:16:54,502 --> 00:16:59,152
Well, he woke up to a world of bad
boyfriends, oaths, and gonorrhea.
353
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,048
He sure did. And you know why?
354
00:17:01,242 --> 00:17:04,476
Because I broke the rules and
ignored what Dr. Kelso wanted me to do.
355
00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:06,228
Sometimes you have to break the rules.
356
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,392
And Elliot's patient waking up
was a clear sign that you couldn't deny.
357
00:17:09,431 --> 00:17:11,921
Mr Chang is crashing!
358
00:17:12,412 --> 00:17:14,727
Signs be damned! I'm telling her!
359
00:17:15,825 --> 00:17:17,420
Kylie! Kylie!
360
00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:23,026
Dude! You can't tell her!
361
00:17:23,051 --> 00:17:24,404
They won't let you be a doctor anymore!
362
00:17:24,413 --> 00:17:27,064
Who cares!
I'd make more money bartending!
363
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:30,018
Turk! If we leave right now, I might
actually be awake for sex tonight.
364
00:17:30,053 --> 00:17:31,478
Just go get my coat.
365
00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:35,855
You owe me.
366
00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:38,267
Baby!
367
00:17:38,636 --> 00:17:40,655
So, I didn't know which one was yours,
368
00:17:40,698 --> 00:17:41,822
so I grabbed all of 'em.
369
00:17:41,847 --> 00:17:42,970
Just give me a second, okay?
370
00:17:42,971 --> 00:17:45,056
I need to talk to Elliot,
and then I gotta clock out.
371
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,713
And then we have sex?
Then we have...?
372
00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:53,909
I really thought he had a shot.
373
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:58,549
Well, the family's downstairs
whenever you're ready to talk to them.
374
00:18:10,940 --> 00:18:15,581
Go ahead. Call me sweetheart and tell
me I'm a pathetic excuse for a doctor.
375
00:18:15,642 --> 00:18:19,251
You made a bold decision
and it bit you in the keister.
376
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:20,857
Yeah.
377
00:18:21,722 --> 00:18:24,616
I don't like people disagreeing with me.
378
00:18:24,634 --> 00:18:27,684
There's not another resident
here who has the guts to do it.
379
00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:31,296
I just feel so guilty about Mr. Chang.
Could you at least just...
380
00:18:31,326 --> 00:18:33,449
make fun of my bangs or something?
381
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,633
Dr. Reid, take it from a colleague.
382
00:18:35,694 --> 00:18:39,399
Telling that family what happened after
getting their hopes up is going to be
383
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,519
far worse than any shot I could take at
that John Denver haircut you're sporting.
384
00:18:44,474 --> 00:18:45,727
Did...
385
00:18:45,899 --> 00:18:47,234
did you just call me a colleague?
386
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:51,056
I did. But I hate my colleagues.
387
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,135
What the hell are you doing?
388
00:18:56,165 --> 00:18:57,379
I get to have sex!
389
00:18:57,409 --> 00:18:58,804
I hate this place.
390
00:18:59,259 --> 00:19:02,509
I get to have sex tonight!
391
00:19:04,649 --> 00:19:06,113
Hey, Kylie, there you are.
392
00:19:06,129 --> 00:19:07,908
Hey! J.D.!
393
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:09,957
This is your moment! Grab it!
394
00:19:09,987 --> 00:19:13,142
Listen, Kylie...
Out loud, you idiot! Out loud!
395
00:19:13,566 --> 00:19:16,476
I wanted to thank you
for being such a great doctor.
396
00:19:16,751 --> 00:19:18,126
And there it was.
397
00:19:18,298 --> 00:19:20,561
Great doctors don't break oaths.
398
00:19:24,682 --> 00:19:27,503
Thanks again. For everything.
399
00:19:29,185 --> 00:19:32,218
Someone once said
the bad guys always win.
400
00:19:32,247 --> 00:19:34,796
Sometimes the bad guy is a jerk boyfriend.
401
00:19:40,489 --> 00:19:45,440
It's finally here! The long-awaited
showdown between Shaq and Kobe!
402
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,039
Sometimes the bad guy
is the man
403
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,778
you've been battling with for as
long as you can remember.
404
00:19:50,263 --> 00:19:55,062
Hey, Perry! 98-97, Lakers.
Kobe dunked over Shaq for the game winner.
405
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,338
Don't ever mess with my treadmill!
406
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:09,880
Is this homemade gravy? Mmm!
407
00:20:11,312 --> 00:20:15,087
And sometimes the bad guy is a disease
that you didn't stand a chance against.
408
00:20:15,117 --> 00:20:16,240
But...
409
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,320
you said he could get better.
410
00:20:19,516 --> 00:20:21,275
I am so sorry.
411
00:20:22,063 --> 00:20:23,312
I guess all you can do is
412
00:20:23,313 --> 00:20:27,008
come back to work the next morning and
hope that being a good guy pays off.
413
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,155
What are you doing here?
414
00:20:30,783 --> 00:20:32,735
My girlfriend Tamyra, from the club?
415
00:20:32,754 --> 00:20:35,969
She's also feeling a little sick,
and you'll never guess what she has.
416
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,213
Gonorrhea!
417
00:20:37,971 --> 00:20:40,974
I mean... gonorrhea.
418
00:20:41,770 --> 00:20:45,895
Kylie, I-I wanted to tell you so badly,
but, you know, it's against the rules.
419
00:20:46,630 --> 00:20:48,359
You could tell me now.
420
00:20:49,178 --> 00:20:50,907
Your boyfriend is a jerk.
421
00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:53,000
He's not my boyfriend.
422
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,092
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