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1
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Life in a hospital is never boring.
2
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What the hell are you guys doing?
3
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Practicing our slow motion run.
4
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Makes everything seem more dramatic.
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You're doctors. Doctors.
6
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Baby?
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Go get her, Turk!
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Waaaaaaiiiiit!
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Oh, he's slow.
10
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Time to go see my favorite patient, Mr. Gregory Marks.
11
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He may need a new kidney, but he sure as hell doesn't need a new heart.
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Hey, I bought you a present.
13
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Oh, my God, a journal!
14
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Well, you seem like the kind of sensitive young buck that likes to chronicle his feelings.
15
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I can't wait to chronicle this one! Oh God!
16
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I gotta tell you, Mr. Marks...
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Even though I know you'd never take it, I'd give you one of my kidneys in a second.
18
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Oh, no, I would definitely take it! I would take it with my bare hands.
19
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Awesome.
20
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Well...let me check your chart and s-see if we're a match!
21
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Please don't be a match! Please don't be a match! Blood type O! Not a match! Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!
22
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I'm so sorry.
23
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Do you have chocolate cake today?
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Nope.
25
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Oh. Isn't that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day!
26
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Elliot, relax; I never get chocolate cake.
27
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Oh, right,'cause you're diabetic. Boo-hoo!
28
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You know what, Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!
29
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Wow!
30
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Oh my God, I am so sorry. I'm just having the worst day.
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It's no biggie.
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Forgive and forget, right?
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Please get her.
34
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I have been kicking ass lately, but this place is such a boys' club...
35
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I still can't even get x-rays or lab tests back on time.
36
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Hey, Elliot, if you're desperate to get things done, you could always do what Jordan does.
37
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Could you move my car out of the sun?
38
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If the seat gets too hot, my thighs get all pink and sweaty.
39
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Yeah. Bye-bye, security guard.
40
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Hm. Very classy.
41
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Don't judge me, stick. You do what you have to do to level the playing field.
42
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Well, Carla and I would never behave that way.
43
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Thank you.
44
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How'd you get chocolate cake? He said they didn't have any!
45
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Oh. I just did like this and said, "Got cake?"
46
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This is ridiculous! You can't just get cake by going like this:
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Mmm?
48
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Hello, Heather.
49
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You will never guess what I found on the computer!
50
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Is it a set of adult male shoulders?
51
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They had to trim them to get me out of that well.
52
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Oh, right.
53
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Anyway, know Mr. Marks? He said he doesn't have any family to be a kidney donor?
54
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But he's got a son! We gotta find this guy!
55
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Look, Newbie, there are times a man wants to keep something to himself.
56
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Like, say, he's got a son. Or he's 29-years-old and keeps a journal with a unicorn drawn on the cover?
57
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Ah, that's a horse with a sword on his head, and he's there to guard my hopes and dreams.
58
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Come on, if the guy didn't tell you about his son, I'm sure he had a pretty good reason.
59
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You know, you always do this... you get too involved in your patients' lives.
60
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And just exactly how does that usually work out for ya?
61
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Eventually someone's gonna miss me, Jerry!
62
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Oh, God, no.
63
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He made me watch'Everwood'.
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Yeah, yeah. Look, Claudia:
65
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Just promise me you won't get too involved with your patient. Okay?
66
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After getting more involved, I found out Mr. Marks's son was an air-traffic controller at a small private airport.
67
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- Come on, Brian, I don't wanna do this...
- Relax, will you? Relax.
68
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We're gonna put her on the speakerphone, if you don't like the sound of her voice, she's history.
69
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I'll tell you something about'Wings' ...they really got it right.
70
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Excuse me, are you Murray Marks?
71
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I'm busy.
72
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You don't look busy.
73
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Tower, this is flight 117. We've lost an engine.
74
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Yeah, you're right. I'm not busy.
75
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You can take that.
76
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No, no, no. Let's talk.
77
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Oh, God! We've lost the other engine!
78
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Take it! TAKE IT!
79
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Okay. Pull up, 117. Pull up.
80
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Hello?
81
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Hello?
82
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We lost'em.
83
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So what was your thing?
84
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Shouldn't you call the fire department or something!?!
85
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Nah, nah. That was just Mickey fooling around.
86
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Hey.
87
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This is a tiny airport, we get like one airplane a day.
88
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I'm a pretty airplane! Board me!
89
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He's a little off.
90
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He smells like fuel.
91
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He's an airplane.
92
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Scrubs �pisode 4x07 :
My unicorn
93
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Transcript : http://scrubs.mopnt.com/scripts/
Script & Timing : Siefaz Pour www.forom.com
94
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I'm not quite sure I'm getting this.
95
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What's not to get? Look, Dr. Cox told me not to get involved,
96
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I defied him, and now, with your help, I'm gonna rub it in his face, okay?
97
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Now for the last time, the song goes like this:
98
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"You were wrong! I found his son, I found his son, I found his son!"
99
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And then you jump out and go, "That's me!"
100
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Yeah, but--okay, but wouldn't it be funnier if I came on the second "I found his son," just to get to it?
101
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Yeah, that would be a whole lot funnier. But I have a question:
102
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Who's gonna be singing the "I found his son" song? Because it certainly won't be me! Okay?
103
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Here he comes.
104
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Dr. Cox...?
105
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You were wrong! I found his son, I found his son, I f...
106
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That's meeee!
107
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Too early?
108
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We rehearsed this!
109
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We were on your scooter.
110
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Gah!
111
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Reunion time. This is gonna be great.
112
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Mm? Murray?
113
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Before you say anything, I just want you to know if you need a kidney, you can have mine.
114
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See?
115
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For seventy thousand dollars!
116
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I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.
117
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Franklyn. I was wondering if you could put a rush on Mr. Lowenstein's urinalysis?
118
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Because I've got a really important interview for a fellowship next year.
119
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No. We're done talking now.
120
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Elliot. We can help.
121
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No! No. You will not turn Elliot into some flirtatious manipulator.
122
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I mean, don't get me wrong, outside the hospital, Elliot with her hair up is a slammin' hottie.
123
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But in here she's an asexual mess.
124
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And that's the natural order of things. And you don't mess with the natural order!
125
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Elliot, don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
126
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Look, I will try anything. I just don't want to compromise who I am. Eh?
127
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Sweetie, you won't have to do that!
128
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Sure, if it's something really important, you might have to occasionally sleep with someone.
129
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That's how I hooked up with Perry ...needed a pen.
130
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You won't have to compromise yourself. It's all about subtlety. It's...a lingering smile --
131
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...a chuckle at a bad joke --
132
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...a look in your eye that says, "If you do what I want maybe something will happen between us, even though you know it never will...."
133
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Franklyn, if you analyze this urine sample right now, then maybe I'll have sex with you, but probably not.
134
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So close.
135
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All right, we--what's the problem with your dad?
136
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Well, for starters, he named me "Murray." That's an old man's name!
137
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Oh, come on, no it isn't!
138
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MURRAY!
139
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WHAT!?
140
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Everything my father's ever done was designed to humiliate me.
141
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Murray!
142
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WHAT!?
143
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What.
144
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No, the youngest Murray!
145
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I'm sixty-eight!
146
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Thirty-four!
147
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You don't know what it was like having him as a father. He had me in his shadows my whole life.
148
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He actually sang at my senior prom. My date threw her panties on the stage ...first and last time I saw them, by the way.
149
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Whenever I'm around the guy I'm invisible.
150
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Oh, come on, you're exaggerating.
151
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See what I mean?
152
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I love this song.
153
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Ooooh. Thank you!
154
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Okay, so I tried to get some x-rays back from the lab tech by making a kissy face, and he asked me if I had palsy!
155
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Elliot, if you want to get ahead, you have to use what God gave ya!
156
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Or in your case, what Dr. Fineberg gave you.
157
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Exactly!
158
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I can't keep my kidney guy's son from leaving.
159
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Elliot will help.
160
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You can do this!
161
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Hi, I'm Elliot.
162
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Hi, I'm Murray.
163
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Hi, I'm Elliot.
164
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I'm firing blanks, here!
165
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Frick! These are my favorite scrubs!
166
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,570
Is it a bad stain?
167
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No. That's a good stain.
168
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That's a very good stain. That's my favorite stain ever.
169
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I did it!
170
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She has nice breasts.
171
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- They're real.
- Yeah, right.
172
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- No, they are.
- They're not.
173
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I can't believe you got cake! The guy said they didn't have any.
174
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Just do what I told you to do.
175
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Sweets for the sweet.
176
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Thank you...Glen.
177
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Look, Murray, it doesn't matter that your father's handsome and charismatic
178
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and sings like a young Joan Baez. He's your flesh and blood, and you gotta step up.
179
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,560
Look, you obviously have some issues with your own father that you're projecting on to me.
180
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So why don't you go ahead and give him a jingle?
181
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He's dead.
182
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Good stuff!
183
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No, I'm serious.
184
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Classic!
185
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He had like a massive heart attack.
186
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I'm sorry for your loss.
187
00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:57,860
Now, about the kidney....
188
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I wish I could fly my plane right now. I always like to fly it when I have to make a big decision.
189
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Make the "flesh and blood" argument again but in a different way.
190
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Blood and flesh, Murray.
191
00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:09,380
I'll do it!
192
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Jackpot!
193
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Yawning, Glen!
194
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One for the road, Glen?
195
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,250
Thanks! Happy weekend!
196
00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:24,190
Elliot, did you talk Franklyn into doing your patient's urinalysis before mine?
197
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,010
No, I just told him I lost my voice and had to whisper in his ear...
198
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like this.
199
00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:30,860
Careful, Elliot.
200
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:32,970
Oh, come on, what harm could come from a little flirting?
201
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,660
Ah! I wanna see that engagement ring.
202
00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:49,980
That costs ten thousand dollars.
203
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:51,580
I got twelve bucks.
204
00:10:58,070 --> 00:10:59,480
- You okay?
- Yeah, why?
205
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,320
You have created a monster.
206
00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:06,670
Elliot did a little tongue dance in Franklyn's ear just to get him to do her labs before mine.
207
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So she used her femininity!
208
00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:13,150
The only reason you usually get your lab-work back so fast is because you always pick Franklyn to play basketball,
209
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,840
even though he always shoots his foul shots granny-style.
210
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:17,480
This is different.
211
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:18,870
Excuse me.
212
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This is gonna cause problems.
213
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Oh, I'll just be a sec.
214
00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:26,570
Dave, can I get an orange soda? I'm so hot and thirsty.
215
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,540
It's on me.
216
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,190
I'd like an orange soda too.
217
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Oh, I'm sorry, that was the last one. How sad.
218
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:45,060
That's the way female doctors around here behave, I hope the young lady I'm interviewing is a different breed.
219
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:47,920
Do either of you know where I can find Dr. Elliot Reid?
220
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"I told you so" moments are rare. So when they come, you have to savor them.
221
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Hey, Newbie! The good news is that Murray and his dad are a match, kidney-wise.
222
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:02,630
The better news is that the test revealed a little secret you're gonna wanna share with your new pal.
223
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:06,560
Gregory is not Murray's biological father!
224
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Oh, no.
225
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By the by? This moment is so great,
226
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I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments.
227
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Dammit!
228
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I couldn't decide whether I should tell Murray his dad wasn't his dad.
229
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Luckily hospitals are full of supportive colleagues eager to help.
230
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Go tell that little bastard this second, before he coughs a kidney up to his fake father and sues this hospital!
231
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Write that down in your little unicorn book.
232
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Uh, actually, sir, it's a horse with a sword on his head.
233
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You know I'm a unicorn. Why can't you just say it?
234
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What are you going to do, son?
235
00:12:58,260 --> 00:12:59,260
Well, Dr. Kels...
236
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Well, Dr. Kelso, I'm just gonna tell him. Murray's got a good heart, and he'll do the right thing.
237
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I'm outta here!
238
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Murray!
239
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Whaaat?
240
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Not you, Old Murray!
241
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Okay!
242
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I put interview guy in the lounge and told him that Elliot was with a patient.
243
00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,860
Now. How we gonna fix this thing?
244
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,630
You're okay.
245
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:25,530
The guy wanted an orange soda, right?
246
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,070
We bring him an orange soda, maybe the whole thing goes away.
247
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,260
Okay, here's the plan: Jordan and I will take care of interview guy.
248
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,000
Soft-Scrub, you can do whatever the hell you want.
249
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,160
I will.
250
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,700
Dammit! I told you to sparkle!
251
00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:53,300
He says he clears his head by flying his plane.
252
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:56,270
But I went to his airport? He doesn't have a plane there! What should I do?
253
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:57,960
Who gave you this number?
254
00:13:58,430 --> 00:14:00,180
Come on, I'm really asking for your help here.
255
00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:04,970
Yeah, but, it's very important we focus on the whole "who gave you this number" issue.
256
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,630
Fine! Maybe I got too involved like you said.
257
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:12,230
But would it kill you for once to acknowledge that my heart is in the right place instead of spending all your time berating me?
258
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,410
You got the number from Jordan, didn't you.
259
00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:16,630
She hates me.
260
00:14:16,930 --> 00:14:18,310
You've been great as usual.
261
00:14:19,950 --> 00:14:24,830
Dammit, Murray! What corner of the sky are you and your plane hiding in!?
262
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,320
There you are! Hi, buddy!
263
00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:36,840
Hey...!
264
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:04,440
Ohh, ohh! I'm a doctor! I'm a doctor! Everything can't get to me!
265
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:18,130
What an odd sized explosion.
266
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,950
Elliot, your interviewer called, he's running late. Would you take Turk somewhere for me?
267
00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:26,860
Where?
268
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:30,060
Oh. The, uh, honey festival!
269
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,000
Oh my God! Is that back in town?
270
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,410
Sure is! And Turk would love to go with you.
271
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:36,810
You would?
272
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:42,430
Yes. I love large groups of white people eating pollen.
273
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:51,610
On behalf of the honey festival, I would like to thank our two volunteers: Our taster, Elliot...
274
00:15:53,810 --> 00:15:58,110
And of course, Christopher, the human honeycomb.
275
00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:01,610
I thought you meant the cereal!
276
00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:11,070
Can I talk to you for a second?
277
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,610
Tower, are you there? I lost an engine!
278
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,180
I'm not falling for that crap again!
279
00:16:16,230 --> 00:16:17,800
This is real! Mickey's not here.
280
00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:20,170
Oh, God! I lost another engine!
281
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,350
Calm down, Frank. You left your engines in the storage shed.
282
00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:25,780
Oh, there they are! Thanks, Murray.
283
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,020
It's what I do.
284
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,060
Anyhoo, what do you think your dad is doing right now?
285
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:33,930
He's not my dad, he's my fake dad.
286
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:38,980
Which means what my fake cousin Samantha and I almost did in the tenth grade would have been beautiful...and right.
287
00:16:39,610 --> 00:16:41,230
Been there with my gram-gram....
288
00:16:42,570 --> 00:16:45,310
All right, fine, what do you think Gregory's doing right now?
289
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,760
Probably playing his stupid guitar.
290
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,450
Ah, so maybe I wasn't the perfect dad.
291
00:16:53,570 --> 00:16:56,810
I mean, there were the occasional missed baseball games....
292
00:16:58,630 --> 00:17:03,420
And the taking of his college sweetheart to the Bahamas for two weeks without telling him....
293
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:08,630
But I still don't see why he resents me this much.
294
00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:10,820
Boy, tell me about it.
295
00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:20,030
You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice, and then flashes me the sad doe eyes every time I call him a girl's name or scream in his face.
296
00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:23,810
Do you wanna sing about him?
297
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,810
No. Not ever.
298
00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:32,790
Sometimes Dr. Cox is all over me, like every second of my life.
299
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:35,440
Why do you keep talking about your boss like he's your father?
300
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,650
Remember? Recently deceased dad?
301
00:17:37,830 --> 00:17:38,920
Massive heart attack!
302
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,700
Yes! I mean, yes.
303
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,520
You do know he's not yours, don'cha.
304
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,080
I figured it out.
305
00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:54,020
Mostly because his mother was eight months pregnant when I met her. But there were other signs.
306
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:55,400
'Course.
307
00:17:56,230 --> 00:18:00,580
But his real dad was such a jerk we just decided not to tell him.
308
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,740
A boy needs a father who loves him, you know?
309
00:18:07,730 --> 00:18:08,740
Yeah.
310
00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:13,800
Elliot! What are you doing here?
311
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:16,980
My interviewer called my cell phone. He has been waiting to talk to me!
312
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,830
What the hell?
313
00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:23,420
Woman, I was covered in bees!
314
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,960
Elliot, wait!
315
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,450
Elliot, you did your flirty manipulation thing in front of that guy in there, and now,
316
00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:32,990
well, he kinda thinks you're this despicable floozy ho excuse for a doctor.
317
00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:36,450
Oh. Um...well, then I will just explain it to him. It'll be fine.
318
00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:44,350
Wait! Sir, just hear me out! It...UGH!
319
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,380
Ladies. I think we've learned our lesson.
320
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:49,480
That is not helpful, Turkleton!
321
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,000
I was covered in bees!
322
00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:55,560
Oh my God, he's actually giving him an orange soda.
323
00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:05,640
What happened?
324
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,200
He's gonna reconsider you.
325
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,700
How'd you do that?
326
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,670
Hey, buddy. I need you to reconsider Blonde Doctor.
327
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:15,240
And I'm gonna tell you why. See, I'm the future Mr. Blonde Doctor?
328
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,690
And I kinda need this to happen so that I can, uh... hey, over here...
329
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,310
I need this to happen so that I can just hang out around the house and, you know, bake bread or...
330
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:26,730
gab across the fence with neighbor Marge. Nice lady. Polish, I think.
331
00:19:26,770 --> 00:19:28,150
Doesn't matter, I'm not prejudice.
332
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:29,600
What the hell are you talking about?
333
00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:34,030
Here's the thing: I need you to take this can of orange soda, turn, smile,
334
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,870
and give Blonde Doctor a big thumb's up!
335
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,950
Or, I'm gonna take the same orange soda,
336
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:40,380
follow you down to the parking lot, and smash your head in with it.
337
00:19:45,570 --> 00:19:47,250
We...talked about your future.
338
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:56,120
I don't know if I can go through with this.
339
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,520
I wish there was something to help me get through the door.
340
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:00,500
Hey, jerk-hole.
341
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,260
Yeah?
342
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:02,530
No, new jerk-hole!
343
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,450
Now, no matter what you think of that guy in there, he always knew he wasn't your father but he stayed in the game anyway.
344
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,370
So how's about you get your selfish ass in there.
345
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,210
Okay.
346
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:17,300
Hey.
347
00:20:17,890 --> 00:20:18,680
Hey.
348
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,470
So, I got this extra kidney I'm not using.
349
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:24,510
Are you sure?
350
00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:26,140
Yeah.
351
00:20:28,550 --> 00:20:29,960
You know I love you, right?
352
00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:33,600
Yeah, I know you do.
353
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,090
I love you too, dad.
354
00:20:42,230 --> 00:20:42,910
Dad.
355
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,510
Dad. Dad!
356
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,200
In a hospital, it's easy to take things too far.
357
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,290
Still, sometimes you have to go too far to see where the line is.
358
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:58,940
Please, Franklyn?
359
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,750
Oh, okay. Come with me, little friend.
360
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:06,950
As for me...
361
00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:13,640
...Maybe I got too involved with Murray and his fake real dad.
362
00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:18,120
But as I watched Gregory serenade a clearly uncomfortable Murray, I realized something.
363
00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:25,680
If Murray could look past his dad's imperfections and appreciate all the time he'd given him,
364
00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:28,340
maybe I owe Dr. Cox a thank-you for the same thing.
365
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,870
Hey. I just wanted to take a second to thank you for constantly berating me,
366
00:21:33,870 --> 00:21:37,690
doubting my abilities, and the overall devastation of my self-esteem.
367
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,260
My pleasure.
368
00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:43,060
Now wrap it all up with a slow motion hand wave.
369
00:21:45,910 --> 00:21:48,430
Oh, I'm slooooow, baby.
370
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:53,030
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