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1
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Doctor's comin'!
2
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What the...?
3
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Frank, you idiot. Your bed's down the hall!
4
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I know! I love you...
5
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Ohh!
6
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You ever get the feeling our patients pretend to be sicker when we're around?
7
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Oh, yeah. You know Mrs. Wilson back there?
8
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She made her spleen pretend to rupture, and then she pretended to die.
9
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Got me again, there, Mrs. Wilson!
10
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You know, Elliot, since I broke your heart, I've held my tongue every time you've been a wiseacre.
11
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But now that you slept with my brother, we're even.
12
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So if you bring sarcasm my way, baby, prepare to be stung!
13
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- J.D...
- So's your face.
14
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That doesn't even make any sense.
15
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"So's your face" always makes sense.
16
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J.D., that's stupid.
17
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So's your face! I'm on fire! Helloooo!
18
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Perry, are you familiar with Sacred Heart's community service program?
19
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Bobby, lately I've noticed you don't listen to a single word people say,
20
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so my reply to your question is I think you're the world's biggest jackass...
21
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and I look forward to your death.
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Well, you must not be familiar with it because you're the only staff member...
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not to have completed his 24-hour mandatory community service.
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Consider yourself suspended until you do! Oh, and I'm never dying.
25
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Oh, guh!
26
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Crab claw.
27
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Did you just pinch my arm fat?
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Yeah, does it make you mad?
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I don't know, it was kind of a...
30
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Crab claw!
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What are you doing!?
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I'm moving to Milwaukee for a psychiatric fellowship, and by pinching your arm I'm making you angry...
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instead of feeling overwhelmed with sadness that I'm leaving.
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You're leaving?
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Don't cry, you're gonna make me cry.
36
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They're here! Ignite the tractor beam!
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I should go, that's my 2 o'clock.
38
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I can't believe she's leaving!
39
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Hospital just lost its second-hottest employee.
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Don't think you can drool all over her just because you rank me number one.
41
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Baby, Nurse Tisdale's number one.
42
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You g.. you gotta be single to be on the list.
43
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You actually rank the women of this hospital by their appearance?
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Calm down, Twelve.
45
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Yes, top twenty!
46
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Look, you guys, we should really do something for Molly, like throw her a party.
47
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I don't know, Elliot. Molly and I really aren't that close.
48
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Okay, a lot happened between that moment and this one. I should explain.
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Elliot did end up throwing Molly a goodbye party.
50
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This is amazing, Elliot, thank you.
51
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I also had a pi�ata made to look exactly like you, but I don't know what happened to it.
52
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Whoa, it's gettin' late.
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Big Dog wants some candy.
54
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Yes, baby, Molly is attractive.
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But she doesn't hold a candle to my Puerto Rican princess!
56
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For the last time, Turk, I'm Dominican.
57
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My nephew Ryan is so cute. He's six.
58
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I was content to lay low and flirt in the corner.
59
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See, the most important thing about hospital get-togethers...
60
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is to make sure you don't do anything people will be talking about the next day.
61
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Wow, look, flaming shots!
62
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...goes through like the whole day that he's grown up! Oh my God, I love it.
63
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Will you excuse me a moment?
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PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT!
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All right! Stand back, everyone! I'll handle this!
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DOUG! WHY!?
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The sinks are broken! The sinks are broken!
68
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Hot! Hot! Hot, hot, hot, hot!
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So your nephew is six, huh? That's a crazy age!
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After the fire marshal closed down the bar, we took the party back to our place.
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Sorry I'm late. Player had a date. Anybody want some chocolate?
72
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Eventually things wound down.
73
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Some people went home...
74
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Some just went to bed...
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'Night.
76
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And that's how Molly and I ended up alone on the couch,
77
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watching that unbelievably romantic scene from'16 Candles'.
78
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The Donger need food!
79
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No, not that one! This one.
80
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Happy birthday, Samantha.
81
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God bless Molly Ringwald. And this Molly.
82
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Ah, the hell with it! God bless Mollys everywhere!
83
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Scrubs �pisode 4x08:
My last chance
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Transcript: http:/scrubs. mopnt. com/scripts/
Script & Timing: Siefaz Pour www. forom. com
85
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Dude, now that I have adjusted your fuel valve, your scooter is going to fly!
86
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Speaking of things that are fly, I made out with Molly last night.
87
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I know that was kind of a lame segue, but I've been with you all morning...
88
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and you've yet to use the words "make" or "out. "
89
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I hope it doesn't bother you.
90
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Nah. How was it?
91
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Weird. His tongue was freezing.
92
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I gave her the ol' ice tongue.
93
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It's easy to do, you just have to be really smooth.
94
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He kept running to the kitchen to put ice on his tongue.
95
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I always hated ice tongue. And sometimes his lips seemed so greasy.
96
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I'm telling you, Turk. Olive oil.
97
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Dude, just because it's good on salad doesn't mean it's good on your lips.
98
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I wuv your wittle outfit.
99
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Now listen, you.
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Riding in an ambulance takes care of my community service,
101
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so I'm doing two shifts back to back... I'm gonna...
102
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...knock this whole thing out in a single day. Besides, how bad can it be?
103
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Howdy, partner! Name's Denise Lemon.
104
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Looks like we got ourselves a little ambu-date...
105
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that's "ambulance" and "date" put together. I got a million of those!
106
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I am loving this!
107
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Hey, uh, hon, before you hop in there,
108
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could you do me a little favoroony and check the windshield wiper?
109
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I think I got something caught up there. Yeah.
110
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No problem. I got it.
111
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I always get the newbies with that one!
112
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Got you! You know it!
113
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When they strap me in the chair, please let them know the murder was just.
114
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Hey, Elliot, I was making out some prescription orders... and speaking of making out...
115
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She already told me, J.D.
116
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Oh, damn, I was afraid that was gonna get out.
117
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Does anybody else know that I totally made out with Molly? Up here!
118
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Now that you made out with my best friend, that makes us not even again.
119
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So go get me some cotton balls and a toe separator... mama needs a pedicure! Heh.
120
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Elliot, once you're even, you can't just go back to being not even. That ain't new, girl!
121
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Admit we're not even or I'll make you pay.
122
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Heh, yeah, now that we're friends and there's no chance of us ever having sex again,
123
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there's really not a whole lot I "need" from you, okay?
124
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So g'head and give it your best shot.
125
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Andele, Juan!
126
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Doctor, doctor, gimme the news I got a...
127
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Yeah, I'm not a big car-singing kind of guy.
128
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Aww, "Bad case of loving you," Perr! Come on, where's the fun?
129
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You know, you don't get this kind of rush on a normal job.
130
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You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't. You know what I'm saying?
131
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You're saying you don't.
132
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Well, Perr, sometimes you do.
133
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Are you looking at my boy, Davey? He's ten there; he'll always be that age to me.
134
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Can't take my eyes off of him.
135
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I don't blame you, he's gorgeous! He looks just like his mama!
136
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I'm kidding!
137
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I wish we had more time together, I do.
138
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Boy, you wouldn't believe when we started school?
139
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First day he cried, second day I cried, third day we both cried...
140
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not'cause of school,'cause we had a go-cart accident.
141
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Think it's how my nose got bent...
142
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Who knows?
143
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Nose knows. I love words. Don't you love words?
144
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I like "strangle. "
145
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There she is! Thanks, Juan!
146
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Hey, Molly. It's your last night, you wanna grab a beer or something?
147
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J.D., I have to tell you something.
148
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Oh, no, did someone you know die from beer?
149
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No one can die from beer.
150
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Hey, yo, J.D., toss me a beer, man.
151
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Comin' at you, Shinski!
152
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People can die from beer, Molly. Shinski didn't, but our friendship did.
153
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J.D., you just don't have that edgy mean streak that I'm attracted to.
154
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You were saying?
155
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Dude, what the hell!?
156
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Oh, that's what's up. Go about your business!
157
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Look, I'm sorry, but I'm attracted to damaged, dysfunctional people, and you're just too normal.
158
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Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
159
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My emotional journey began at five years old when I walked in on my parents having sex...
160
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in a position my father would later playfully describe as "the jackhammer. "
161
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I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets,
162
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and no matter how much I try, I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.
163
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At that very moment, I feared I had divulged too much.
164
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Molly, I'm narcissistic, I'm pessimistic, I'm obsessive, I'm insecure.
165
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And I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships...
166
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is a journey of self-sabotage that inevitably ends in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair.
167
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Wow.
168
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Boy, I tell you what, there, Jordan, I'm sure glad that shift is...
169
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Perry! I was just telling Jordan here about that sneezing attack that I had this morning.
170
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Was it fourteen or fifteen sneezes?
171
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Yes, Perry, was it fourteen or fifteen sneezes?
172
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What are you doing here, Denise?
173
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Well, I heard that you were doing back to back shifts,
174
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so I pulled a couple of strings so that we could get the old band back together!
175
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Perry! You've always wanted to be in a band!
176
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Get out of town! I just came up with that band thing!
177
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Get out of town, Perry!
178
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Well, laissez le bon temps rouler. Translation: Let the good times roll.
179
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See, that's what they say in New Orleans, The Big Easy.
180
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You know, that was my nickname in high school... New Orleans.
181
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No, I'm just kidding, it was The Big Easy. I was a huge slut!
182
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I was, I did everybody.
183
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Much better without the icy tongue.
184
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I'll remember that.
185
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Why would she lie?
186
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Should we get out of here?
187
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D'you think you can handle it?
188
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No. But you won't know until after.
189
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You just need to clear it with one person first.
190
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Just tell me who!
191
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N o.
192
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Oh, what's the matter, J.D., freezer got your tongue?
193
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That doesn't even make any sense!
194
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So's your face!
195
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Dammit! Walked into that one!
196
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The key here is to not seem desperate.
197
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Please, Elliot! Please let me have sex! She's leaving tomorrow!
198
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It's simple, J.D., I'll give you the OK if you just admit we're not even.
199
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I am sorry, but that is one thing that will never happen.
200
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Fine, we're not even.
201
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Thank you.
202
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But Molly just left, so you have to call her at home!
203
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I'm not gonna do that. But, I will write you a note.
204
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J.D. may fornicate with anyone.
205
00:11:14,430 --> 00:11:17,680
Okay, Sasha, let's see what your new engine can do!
206
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So, little Jack's a baseball fan, eh?
207
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He's two and he can't talk yet.
208
00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:29,480
You know what you should do? You should get him some baseball cards!
209
00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:33,370
I got my son, Davey, a Ken Griffey Jr. card? Carries it with him wherever he goes.
210
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Never liked the gum, though.
211
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Gum's a weird word, isn't it? You know?
212
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Do you ever notice some words, you say'em enough, they don't even sound like words anymore?
213
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Gum... Gum. Gum. Gum! Gum, gum, gum, gum, gum, gum, gummmm. Gum gum gum...
214
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Oh, happy day. She's blown a fuse.
215
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I swear to God, Jordan, I can't do it again.
216
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Perry, it's just one more shift. Just tune her out and she'll eventually leave you alone.
217
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Consider it done.
218
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...gum gum gum gum gum. Gum.
219
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Relax! At most, you have a minor concussion.
220
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,530
Now I just wanna check your pupils, okay?
221
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,575
Doug, that's for...
222
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- ... ears.
- Ears!
223
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Right! I'm not stupid!
224
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Where are my clothes?
225
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I sent them to the dry cleaners!
226
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Doug!
227
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You responsible for this head blood?
228
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Look, here's the bottom line:
229
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I am currently in possession of a note that would give me permission to have sex...
230
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with a very beautiful woman, but I have no way of getting to her apartment.
231
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Then what are we waiting for.
232
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Get in.
233
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Come on! Let's go! Go, go, go, go!
234
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What are you doing!?
235
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It's been four years.
236
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How do you not get how this works?
237
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Hello?
238
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Turk, it's me!
239
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:22,820
Hang on, I'm doing my diabetes test. Ninety eight, is that a good number?
240
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,265
Yes! It's good! You surgeons are idiots!
241
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:27,780
Oh, I'm the idiot, huh? Well, guess what you were wrong about!
242
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,860
Carla's Dominican!
243
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:35,375
All right, come on up, Perr! Let's get this show on the road!
244
00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:40,140
Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and hang out back here, just kinda get acclimated with this area.
245
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:41,660
Oh, okay.
246
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,255
Hey, funny tidbit...
247
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,340
Sorry there, D., can't really hear you back here.
248
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,020
Ohh. Message received!
249
00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:54,100
Hey, can you hear me now?
250
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,950
Hey, it's like that commercial. "Can you hear me now?"
251
00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:02,020
See, now, the only downside is that I can't hear you, so I guess I'll just have to talk for both of us.
252
00:14:02,290 --> 00:14:08,370
So back to that tidbit. Now, that's a funny word. See, I know what a bit is, but what's a tid?
253
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:14,620
Tid... Tid tid tid tid tid tid tid tid tid tid. Tid. Tid. Tid. Tid.
254
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,190
J.D.! We're over here!
255
00:14:18,380 --> 00:14:19,370
COMING!
256
00:14:20,230 --> 00:14:22,700
I don't understand what the big deal is. It's just sex.
257
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:23,980
It's not just sex.
258
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,590
It's sex with Molly!
259
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,170
Any guy would kill to have sex with Molly. Hell, I'd kill to have sex with Molly!
260
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:30,750
That's it.
261
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:38,520
Sorry, dude.
262
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:42,770
Where were you?
263
00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,310
I was treed by that coyote!
264
00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:46,750
You got your phone?
265
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:48,250
He took it.
266
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:50,940
What now?
267
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,775
I can't run in this gown, it's too loose!
268
00:14:55,810 --> 00:14:58,430
I can't run in these jeans, they're too constricting!
269
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,365
Yeah, this is much better!
270
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,975
I agree, but my legs are cramping!
271
00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:06,230
You spent too much time crouching in that tree, didn't you!
272
00:15:06,265 --> 00:15:07,450
I was kneeling on a nest!
273
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,090
Just think of Molly, man!
274
00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:12,830
J.D., where are you?
275
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:16,000
J.D.! Hurry!
276
00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:21,060
Now that's what I'm talkin' about!
277
00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:30,710
It's okay.
278
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:37,710
Hey, Perr. I just saw an adorable interracial gay couple.
279
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,350
Aw, just precious.
280
00:15:39,570 --> 00:15:43,430
Lookit, enough of the squawk-box, all right? And just keep your eye on the road, whatta you say?
281
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,540
All right, no more squawk-box.
282
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,640
But, Perr, don't sweat the roads. I know'em like the back of my hand.
283
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,530
Ohh, Perr... I think I'm hurt.
284
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:04,620
I'm not badly hurt, just a tidbit.
285
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:11,370
Elliot, you gotta help me! We're in front of Molly's apartment, but her name isn't listed anymore.
286
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:14,330
It's either... 4G or 5G.
287
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:17,430
J.D., this is ridiculous, it's 4 o'clock in the morning.
288
00:16:17,690 --> 00:16:20,170
Even if you catch her, she's leaving for the airport in like ten minutes.
289
00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:22,300
That's perfect! That'll leave us five minutes to cuddle!
290
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,715
Hi, is Molly here?
291
00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,800
It's not my wife, is it, Debbie?
292
00:16:31,650 --> 00:16:33,510
Dorian. Turkleton.
293
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:37,230
If you come in, you have to take your shoes off.
294
00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:39,770
Sorry, wrong apartment.
295
00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:42,600
Konichiwa.
296
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:47,400
Dude, she's outside. She's about to get in the cab!
297
00:16:47,830 --> 00:16:51,950
Oh my God. I'll never get down there before she leaves! This is the worst moment of my life.
298
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:54,530
Or is it the greatest moment of your life?
299
00:16:56,190 --> 00:16:58,430
You're right. Gimme that gown!
300
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:01,670
Go get her, buddy!
301
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:05,800
Hey, this isn't that scary.
302
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,020
Molly!?
303
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:18,370
Hey!
304
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:25,290
Sorry about your collarbone. Say! I've got a community service form here, would you sign it for me?
305
00:17:25,325 --> 00:17:26,620
Sure thing, Perr.
306
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,580
So, you gonna come by and visit me later?
307
00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:32,890
Denise, that's not very likely. And here's why:
308
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:37,320
All you do is talk, talk, talk talk, talk, talk, talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk.
309
00:17:37,355 --> 00:17:41,450
And when you're not talking, I'm betting you're thinking about talking. I mean,
310
00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:43,270
can I ask you a personal question?
311
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:47,810
Have you ever had a thought that you didn't immediately verbalize?
312
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,270
Well, I don't know. That's a tough one, Perr.
313
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:55,500
Oh, look, the window's open again! You can see the moon!
314
00:17:55,730 --> 00:17:56,600
Oh my God.
315
00:17:57,180 --> 00:18:01,190
What happened in your life that made you so needy that you've got to fill...
316
00:18:01,225 --> 00:18:03,670
every waking second by babbling on?
317
00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:06,450
Fine, don't visit. My son will come.
318
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:09,000
And now we are right back on your son again.
319
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:13,510
I'll be honest with you, I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to get your voice out of my head.
320
00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:16,010
It is a very real concern.
321
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,710
Hey, did you leave anything in the ambulance?
322
00:18:21,745 --> 00:18:23,240
Only my will to live, why?
323
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:24,950
Then I guess this is your partner's.
324
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:31,160
See, now, I got my son, Davey, a Ken Griffey Jr. card? Carries it with him wherever he goes...
325
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:34,480
He's ten there. He'll always be that age to me...
326
00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:36,880
I wish I had more time with him, though.
327
00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:49,350
What happened to your son, Denise?
328
00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:56,900
He died in an accident.
329
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,000
Paramedics were amazing, though.
330
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,450
That's actually the reason I became one.
331
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,450
I really miss him, you know?
332
00:19:24,010 --> 00:19:25,130
Thanks a lot.
333
00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:31,150
Molly, I think you should stay. I'm off today, we'll have an amazing time, you can leave tomorrow.
334
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:32,940
I'm not sure that's a good idea.
335
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,150
Well, maybe this'll change your mind.
336
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,310
How's it going?
337
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,940
Pretty well. Nice landing.
338
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:45,710
Thanks.
339
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:51,460
J.D., I think this note's for you.
340
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,670
I think the easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.
341
00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,180
Take care.
342
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:15,190
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
343
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,010
Of course, it doesn't help if your friend is a diabolical genius.
344
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,560
Still, when you come across a person who's lost something that really matters,
345
00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:28,550
you have to answer the call.
346
00:20:28,690 --> 00:20:31,720
Ooh, he's just such a cutie pie! Look at that!
347
00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:33,785
Have you ever had cutie pie, Perry?
348
00:20:33,820 --> 00:20:35,480
- No,'course not.
- I like it � la mode.
349
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,230
I'm kidding! I know it's not really pie!
350
00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:43,070
But I'll tell you, if it was really pie I would eat it up, I'd gobble it, because I love pie!
351
00:20:43,105 --> 00:20:45,300
Oh my God! You're my favorite!
352
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:49,900
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