All language subtitles for Scrubs s04e03 My New Game.eng

"Today I walk in here not as
a resident but as a chief. "

"Chief resident! Chief resident Dorian!
Chiefy chiefy chief!"

What's that, your new, uh
cool guy walk?

No, I have rocks in my shoe.

"Wow, that's a lot of rocks. "

"I gotta stop taking that short-cut
through the quarry. "

"Anyway, the best thing about my new job
is that I command a lot more respect. "

Chief resident in the house!
Everybody say hey-ay!

"Even though Councilman Donovan
was handcuffed to that chair"

"because once again he was
flying high on crystal meth,"

"his respect felt good. "

"Honestly, it's the reason
I keep voting for him. "

Have a good day.

Try not to torture anyone so much
that they take their own lives.

I'll try.

You know, you're not looking as processed
and overly-medicated as usual.

That is so sweet!

Come here!

"It was the same old Dr. Cox and Jordan. "

"The weird thing was, there was something
underneath it... they were happy. "

We have some very exciting news.

Don't tell me... You and Sweaty Teddy
here are gonna finally have

that commitment ceremony
you've been dreaming about?

Perry, even if I went that way...
and believe me,

there were nights in the service
when it didn't sound so far-fetched

Ted is hardly my type.

I beg to differ. I've seen Enid.

- What?
- Nothing.

Dr. Cox, remember a few years back,

you asked me to look over your
divorce papers to make sure

"that slag would die
a penniless whore"?

Sorry.

It's okay, "slag" is kind of
his pet-name for me.

Anyway, I was also going
through a divorce...

she's with my brother now;

he's nine inches shorter than me
but he wears a piece...

The point is, you and I
signed the wrong papers,

which technically means you two
are still married and so am I.

Well, mazel tovs all around!

"I've never seen Dr. Cox and Jordan
speechless before. "

"It was neat-o!"

Just so you know,
I think this chief resident thing

has made you a little
too big for your britches?

Soo... from now on I'm gonna be
your britches shrinker.

Oh, what, is that supposed to
intimidate me or something?

No. I had to do it anyway.

What possible reason could you have
for breaking your broom in half?

Thanks, bro.

Any other questions? Smart guy?

What's up, ladies.

What's up with these rocks!?

HAH! You've been graveled!

"Graveled"?

It's a new game I made up this morning
when I had rocks in my shoes.

I like it.

Better than Play-Doh Pants?

Play-Doh Pants became
all about the money.

Wise!

"It felt good cheering Turk up. "

"See, now that I'm chief studly,"

"I was making a lot more
money than him. "

"Needless to say it was a time
to be extra sensitive. "

Hey, you remember how I make
more money than you now?

Here's five bucks for remembering.

Anyway, I was thinking about
spending some of my extra ducats

on one of those classy suits
we always wanted!

You mean the leather purple jumpsuit
Eddie Murphy wore in 'Raw'?

- You know it, dawg!
- That's cold!

Look, I gotta go.

I've got a new attending and
he hates it when we're late.

- Plus he's a question-talker.
- What's a question-talker?

Do I want you to be on time, Dr. Turk?

Yes I do.

Am I going to remember this?
Of course I am.

Miss Myers is ready to have
her bandages removed now.

Who do you mean, dashboard-face?

Yeah, I think she prefers "Miss Myers. "

Well then she probably shouldn't
be checking her e-mail

while she's driving ninety miles an hour.

- Hey, sorry I'm late.
- We weren't waiting for you.

Great! I'm on time!

See, I think as a psychiatrist

that I should be there when
Miss Myers' bandages get removed,

because her accident was
traumatic enough.

But with reconstructive facial
surgery on top of that?

In my professional opinion: Yikes!

Honey, if you are coming in,

I just might go ahead and phone up
my pool-man and my architect

so we can populate the room with
just as many useless people as possible.

Great! My mom's in town, should I call her?

That was good.

Okay, Miss Myers, I'm gonna go ahead
and get these bandages off

and make sure the plastic surgeons
have left your face

just as beautiful as it always was.

Oh, you're so nice. Are you married?

Oh! He is as of this morning!

- Really? I thought he was divorced?
- No, child, the papers didn't go through!

You know what?

I've got a son, I don't fantasize about
Jordan dying as much anymore, and,

even though it wasn't planned,

I'm actually pretty happy about the way
this whole marriage thing has worked out.

Sooo, would you please stop your chirping
and step away from my personal life?

- So what's his wife like?
- So scary!

You go ahead and have a look there.

You look fantastic, you do.

Doctor?

Really fantastic.

Thank God you were here!

"Since Elliot and I
are both chief residents,"

"I'm trying not to make it
all about me. "

John Dorian, Chief Resident.

"You know, unless there's someone I could doink. "

Hey, uh, you need to move your car...
it's my day to have the parking spot.

J.D., you have a scooter!
Why do you even need a parking spot?

Mmmm, it sends a message.

"Just because I lured her away
from her perfect boyfriend"

"and then dumped her doesn't mean
my scooter, Sasha, needs to suffer. "

What are you doing?

Just making it official.
Chief. Co-Chief.

You can try as hard as you want,
that is never gonna stick.

And that's Co-Chief Resident Dorian over there!

Dammit! You are quick!

Dammit, I got an appendectomy again?

Sweet! I get the duah... d...
duoh... duo... duooh...

Duodenojejunostomy, man.
What's wrong with you?

So I can't pronounce it.

Try and be a little more sensitive, okay?

New bra, Janice? 'Cause it's working!

Besides, the only reason I'm getting
all these great procedures

is because nobody's died on me
in like three months!

Listen, man, you never have to apologize
for being on a hot-streak.

I'm psyched for you!

And I wouldn't take those procedures
away even if I could.

Sir, would you mind giving me
the duodenojejunostomy instead of the Todd?

Am I impressed by your moxie?
You bet'cha.

Am I going to reward it?
Not a chance.

This Todd thing is killing me.
Where's your lunch?

Thank you, Barry! Hey!
That's for Barry Jr.!

What? The little guy's in leg braces.

I visited my safety deposit box today.
Guess what I found?

My grandfather's purple heart!

Please, I sold that years ago
to pay for these.

Our wedding rings.

- Holy cow!
- What do you think?

Are you kidding me?
I'm gonna wear this the rest of my life!

"Of course, marriage can make
the rest of your life seem longer. "

So you're just going to, uh,

fall asleep right after for
the rest of my life?

So I'm supposed to pay for
your Botox the rest of my life?

I'm not sure I want
to watch you drink a beer

while I'm holding the baby
for the rest of my life!

Look, Attila... there's no way in hell
that I'm gonna listen to you complain

about the rest of your life
for the rest of my life, you got that?

Yeah, not listening.

By the way, now that
we're married again,

we've gotta make out new wills
in case one of us dies.

Oh, God, I hope it's me.

"Yep, there was definitely trouble in paradise. "

Would Co-Chief Dorian please
report to the I.C.U.?

Co-Chief Dorian? Co-Chief?

Well, Mrs. Covello, your CAT-scan
showed a small rectal tumor,

so I want to schedule
a low anterior resection.

But don't worry, we have an
amazing surgical team here, okay?

That means a lot coming from
the co-chief resident!

"How did she hear?
She's been in a coma for two weeks!"

Dammit!

- Hey, buddy! Can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.

I know the Todd's doing her resection,

but if you send her down right now,
he's a little busy so it'd have to be me.

What's the Todd doing?

Yeah, well, you know the
city surveyor is outside

taking pictures of the hospital
for the zoning commission?

I told him they were shooting
a Sacred Heart calendar.

Gentlemen! Say hello to June!

How about a sneak-peek of July!

I don't know, Turk.

It's a little early for me
to start pulling strings...

I just got this co-chief job.
Dammit, now I'm saying it!

Come on, man,
get me back in the game!

You know what, here's ten bucks
for letting me help you out.

Spend it wisely!

I think she's a little upset she doesn't
look the way she used to.

Why? How did she used to look?

Oh, dear ugly.

Oh, whatta you know,
the paging of the shrew.

Look, why don't you just talk to her.

- Why don't you just...
- Mind my own business.

I know, your life is your life,

and it's not my job to fix it,
unless of course you ask me to.

And, man, would I get in there,
'cause I'm a good shrink

and you my friend,
are a walking disaster.

Shall we?

So, now, Miss Myers, um,
how are you feeling?

I was wondering... if it were possible
to have surgery again?

Hi, sweetie, I'm in a tunnel.

Look, your body's been through
an enormous amount of trauma,

I can't recommend you
go racing back in to surgery.

Now, I guarantee you,
if you just give it time

you'll be happy with
the way you look.

Oh, my God.

WHAT!?

I just don't look like myself.

I know I had a big nose and droopy eyes,

but they were "my" nose and
"my" droopy eyes, you know?

Tell me more about yourself.

"Around here, there's always at least
one person that'll come through for you. "

"In Turk's case, that was me. "

Hey, Elliot!

Hey, I want to talk to you
about this whole chief resident thing.

What about it?

Well, as you may have heard
from the loudspeaker,

some residents, the janitor,
my mother, your mother, and a...

a coma patient, um, I'm being referred
to as the "co-" chief resident.

I think we should either both go
with "co-chief" or "chief. "

Don't you... co-agree?

Excuse me.

We're working up this patient for a
hypercoagulable state with a prolonged PTT?

What's our next step?

Well, that's easy, Lonnie,
what you want to do...

I'd like my answer from
the "chief" resident.

We're both chief residents.
Isn't that right, Dr. Reid?

With a prolonged PTT, you'd want to do
a one-to-one mixing study.

That's why she's the chief.

- You're the co-chief.
- Shut up, Lonnie!

You shut up!

Obviously for your ex-wife,
just the illusion of hair is important.

Excuse me.

So you're saying it had nothing to do
with my impotence?

Dr. Cox, I was wondering if we could
talk about Miss Myers in my office?

Yeah, I make it a point to
never enter a shrink's office

unless I'm planning on
grossly overpaying somebody

for telling me something that
I already know.

Look, you're obviously really distracted
by the situation with your marriage...

Something I already know, what do I owe?
Will ten bucks cover it?

- Oh, yeah!
- Oh, you're gonna hang onto that?

Yeah, you know, I forgot my lunch money,
and it's kielbasa day in the cafeteria.

Kielbasa! Love it.

Anyway, Miss Myers really
values your opinion,

but I don't think you're even trying
to understand how she feels.

Look, if I ever want your advice
on one of my patients, I'll ask.

But do not hold your breath,

unless of course you can
hold it for a really long, long, long,

long, long, long, long, long time.

I can't, I used to smoke.

Kielbasa. Yes!

- Let me buy you lunch.
- I'm rich.

I'll buy you lunch and
some gold teeth to eat it with!

You know, you only got one more
black joke this month before I bust your ass.

Dammit! I used 'em all up
watching 'Barber Shop 9'.

Okay, that's it, and I'll get you later.

How'd surgery go?

Oh, you know,
I was on top of my game.

"It can be scary to stick
your neck out for a friend. "

"That's why it's a huge relief
when they come through. "

How's she doing?

Unfortunately she didn't make it.

"What?"

- What do you mean she died?
- I did everything I could.

Even my attending
thought I did great.

He said, "Do I think you did great?
Yes I do!"

"I couldn't help wonder if
by taking that patient from Todd"

"and giving her to Turk,
I had toyed with fate. "

I know that look.

You're wondering if you toyed with fate!

How could you know that look?
It's a brand new look!

What do you think Todd
would've done that I didn't?

Doctor, her heart stopped.

No!

Here!

I'm gay!

I knew it.

Oh my God!

That's your "the Todd would've
pulled his own heart out" look!

Okay, we have been spending
way too much time together.

Guess what there, wifey.

You can't be a pain in the ass
if I don't have a phone.

Oh, ohh! Hi, sweetie!

Save it.

I was just calling to tell you
that I'm taking Jack

and staying at my mother's
for a few months.

But who's going to be
looking after him

when you and your mother
go out marauding for flesh?

Thank you for making this
so much easier, Perry.

Jordan. Jordan, come on,
Jordan. Ahhh.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go check
on Miss Myers.

Molly sent her down to surgery.

Oh-ho-ho, wrong day, new chick!

"In a hospital, it's hard not
to let your personal life

"affect your professional life. "

"Forget about J.D."

"You're just as good as the Todd.
You got this. "

All right, people!
I believe we're done here.

Did you just sew your gown
into the patient? Yeah, ya did.

Hey! Hey, someone! Hey!

Randall was in the air conditioning vent,
and it collapsed on him! Buddy!

Co-chief. Co-chief!

Hey, you fixed him!
Come on, buddy!

"That's it!"

Dr. Kelso, could you help me out?

People have been referring to me
as the co-chief resident.

Well, it sounds like something you
should take up with the chief resident.

But, "I'm" the chief resident.

Look, Dr. Reid's check is made out
to the chief resident,

and-and mine's made out
to the co-chief resident.

But we both make the same amount.

You're right.

Dr. Reid, you should be making
ten dollars more a month,

and of course, Dr. Dorian,
you should be making ten dollars less.

I know it's not much,

but it's largely to symbolize
the difference in your levels.

- Coolio!
- Coolio, indeed.

"I could spend all day worrying
about what just happened,"

"but I have more important
things to do. "

Hey, man. Look what I confiscated
from one of the kids in Pediatrics.

What, too hot?... Sorry.

Not in the mood!

Okay, well, look,
we both might have had bad days,

but I got just the thing
that's gonna cheer us up.

Ahhh? Dream come true, right!

Do you really think
I want this suit?

Well, I do. But not from you!

Oh, now I get it.

You're just mad because
I make more money than you.

No, I'm mad because of
that surgery today.

You doubted me.

You are such a wuss!

Turk, come on.

Ah, these things chafe.

Now I know why Eddie called it "Raw".

Carla! Do you have any powder?

You. You went behind my back.

I gave you every opportunity
to do the right thing.

I'll tell you what, there, Miss Manners:

Why don't you go ahead and
gulp down that bear-sized bite,

and then we'll talk.

Yummy!

Man, that is great kielbasa. But you can't
really screw up kielbasa, can you?

So, um, where were we?

Honest to God, I can't remember.

Oh, right, Miss Myers.

The plastic surgeon said
it was safe to operate,

and Miss Myers really
liked her old face.

And you don't have to be
a psychiatrist to see, Perry,

that if you used to be truly
happy and now you're not,

then you should go back to the way
it was when you were happy.

Isn't that what you would do?

Yeah...

Jordan!

Will you...

will you divorce me?

Ohh, I thought you'd never ask!

Listen, I probably shoulda put a
stop to all this co-chief stuff.

What co-chief stuff?
I haven't even been thinking about it.

Look, J.D., ever since you dumped me,

everyone around here's been treating
me like some kind of a victim.

It's like, "Ohh, look at poor
Elliot going home alone. "

Or, "Ohh, look at poor Elliot riding
a tandem bike by herself. "

That's not something I normally do,

I just really wanted ice cream
the other night,

my car was out of gas, and that's
the bike the Gundersons loaned me.

They do everything together...

Okay...

The point is it was nice being the one
chief resident for a while, you know?

She's got fingers like biceps!

And so, by the power vested in me
by the American Bar Association,

I pronounce you ex-husband
and ex-wife.

You may now do whatever
the hell you want!

- I've never been this happy.
- Me neither.

You have no chance of being normal.

Thirsty, huh?

Helps the tears taste less bitter.

Cheers.

So! How you guys gonna
celebrate your divorce?

By not inviting you!

Oh my God! Dude! I doubted you for
a second, why are you so mad?

Maybe I needed you to believe in me!

I believe in you, baby.

Yeah, but we're married...
that doesn't count.

What the? Ow, ow, ow, what?

- Did you, uh...?
- Yeah, she's been graveled.

Nice work.

Look, man, it was one second
of doubt, okay?

Since when do you care what
anybody else thinks?

I don't. I care what you think.

Since the day I met you,

you've treated me like I was the man,
like I could accomplish everything.

- This is gonna sound lame, but...
- I've got it!

your being like that's one of the
reasons I've gotten to where I am.

That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.

"In the end, every relationship
needs maintenance. "

Hey, Ted. Get out the sun, man.

You owe me money!

"Whether it's the smallest gesture... "

Hey, Doctor. Doctor!

Want to, uh, you wanna take
a look at the guy in 302

and tell me whether or not you think
he's really sick or just bonkers?

Are you actually asking my opinion?

Well, I'm gonna ignore it, but...
yeah, knock yourself out.

"Or just picking up back
where you left off. "

I'm a little nervous
about surgery tomorrow.

Aw, you'll kick ass.

So are you guys gonna go out tonight?

No, we're gonna stay in.

Well, I'll be in the bedroom
with all the straight people.

- Are your giblets warm?
- Like a Christmas ham!

Same!

"The bottom line is that
if you care about someone,"

"it's pretty easy to
make the sacrifice. "

Thanks, J.D.

And she's just been graveled!

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