All language subtitles for Rome - S1Ep08 - Caesarion

"A fine reward is
offered for the return

of a slave woman stolen...

or absconded from
the house of Claudius Appius.

The following noblemen
returning from Greece

have received pardon of Caesar
and must not be harmed:

Publius Servilius Casca,

Marcus Tullius Cicero,

Gaius Cassius Longinus

and Marcus Junius Brutus.

The traitor Pompey
has fled to Egypt.

Glorious Caesar follows."

Shoulder arms!

Forward!

Forward face!

Forward march!

Behold, Ptolemy,

he of the two ladies,

he of sedge and bee.

Behold Ptolemy,

Son of Ra,

Ptolemy the Divine.

Greetings...

How long may we hope
for the blessing of your presence?

Not long.

Oh, we are desolated.

If His Glorious Honor cares
to divulge his purpose here,

the servants
of the Mighty Lion

would be ecstatic
to help you

in any way
whatsoever.

That is most kind of you.

How goes your
preparation for war?

War?

We have no war prepared.

I'm misinformed then.

I was told the sister
of the Mighty Lion

disputes his right
to the throne.

Do not speak of her.

I piss on her!
I shit on her!

It is true
our beloved princess

has listened to ill counsel
and raised some absurd claim.

But... she has no support,

none but traitors
and barbarians.

What was that name?

Deilogos of Pergamum.

He can raise 10 legions.

Deilogos of Pergamum

can raise
10 legions for her.

A petty bandit. I assure you,
you have no problem,

no fears at all
about Cleopatra.

Where is she?

Well, nobody knows.

Somewhere in the south,
we believe.

He lies.
They have her.

This dispute between
you both must end.

Rome desires Egypt
to be at peace.

Your grain ships
must keep sailing.

We are in absolute
control of the country,

from the lighthouse
to the Cataracts.

Good, in that case
you should have no trouble

in handing over
Pompey Magnus.

I do not like his tone.

He can go.

Eh...

Master, do you remember
what we spoke of before?

Of crocodile and fox?

Let us show him
our surprise!

All right, go on.
Show him.

Ahem...

We have a gift for you,
Glorious Excellency,

that we think you will
be very pleased with.

We were going to
make him a body,

moving arms and legs, and do a mime
show with real animals and everything...

Silence!

Shame on the house
of Ptolemies

for such barbarity.
Shame.

But... you are enemies.

He was a consul of Rome!

A consul of Rome.

To die
in this sordid way...

quartered like
some low thief...

shame!

Where is
the rest of him?

Eh, um, he has been
cremated...

with all proper
funeral rites of course.

With all decorum.

I shall return
tomorrow,

at which time
you will give me

the man that took
Pompey's life.

Captain says
the wind is fair.

- Good.
- We can leave whenever you like.

You will take half the men,
return to Rome immediately.

You shall have the honor
of announcing Pompey's death.

I shall follow you...

when I've settled
things here.

Settled things?
Settled what things?

Civil war is
in the air.

It must be
prevented.

Why?

Let the wretches
fight it out.

War will disrupt
the grain supply.

Without Egyptian grain,
Rome goes hungry.

It would be... unwise
not to intervene.

And how will you intervene
with only half a legion?

I do not intend to fight.

I shall merely arbitrate
the various factions.

You make it
sound so easy.

Those various factions are united
only by their hatred of Rome.

He's right.

Ptolemy might use you to rouse
the people against a common enemy.

I have conquered Gaul.

I have defeated
Pompey Magnus.

I think I can handle
a small boy and a eunuch.

A small boy
with 100,000 men.

I am aware of that!

He's still
a boy nonetheless.

You seem to forget that
our war is not over yet.

Cato and Scipio
are still at large.

Given time, they will
raise another army.

And when they do
I shall crush them.

I'm glad
you're so confident.

Some would
call it hubris.

It's only hubris
if I fail.

Remember, she is
a princess of ancient blood.

When you find her you will treat
her with the utmost respect.

You must obey her in all
things, within reason.

Understood, sir.

I'm counting
on you, Vorenus.

You have something
to say?

Regarding Pompey Magnus,
sir, I wish to apologize.

It was my actions that
brought him here to this end.

- If I had done my duty...
- Indeed.

Dismissed.

Pompey's murderer.

Alas, he has run away.

Find him.

In the meantime...

these instruments tabulate
the money that was borrowed

by His Majesty's
illustrious father, Ptolemy Xll.

In the name of the Republic,
I have come to collect.

17 thousand thousand drachma.

17?

Absurd!

Four, perhaps.

The tabulation includes
all monies borrowed from Pompey

and other agents of the
Republic now unable to collect.

That is not just!

Post-mortem interests
of this type

are legally entailed
to the presiding consul,

i.e. Gaius Julius Caesar.

- It's law.
- Roman law.

Is there some
other form of law...

you wretched woman?

1,000 apologies.
Forgive us.

There!

- There's for your payment.
- So sorry...

His Majesty forgets
he is a vassal to Rome.

Vassal?

Vassal?
I am no vassal!

- I am king! I am...
- Sit down!

Thank you.

When can I expect payment?

Your Honor, we have little enough
ready coin for our own needs.

Our tax farmers have not been
working as they should because...

Because?

Cleopatra's foolishness has
stirred unrest in some parts.

Nothing serious.

Well, I do not wish
to appear unreasonable.

I will accept 10 thousand
thousand drachma.

Even that amount will
take many days to collect.

In that case, I shall have
ample time to adjudicate

your dispute with
Princess Cleopatra.

Excellent notion.

But alas, who knows where
Princess Cleopatra is?

Oh, do not worry
about that.

I shall find her.

Blood and fire!

It's as hot
as Vulcan's dick!

What a dump.

Gyppo gods must be right
wasters to make a place like this.

Don't speak ill of the gods
in their own country.

Gerrae.
I've seen their gods.

Titus Pullo isn't scared of any
bastard with a dog's head on him.

More fool you. These gods
are old and powerful.

Egypt was a great nation
long before Rome.

Was it?

Mumped it up now,
then, haven't they?

Why are we here, anyhow?

Waiting.

Yeah, I know we're waiting, but for who?

I'll know
when I see them.

Heh. Be like that.

"Vassal," he says!

Barbarian scum!

It's simple extortion.

If we do not pay him, he will
put Cleopatra on the throne.

If...

if he could find her.

He is a resourceful man.

He will find her.

She should have died
when we first caught her.

Now it must be done.
She must die.

I agree.

My men could be
with her by nightfall.

Tell him "Wait."

Cleopatra.

Queen Majesty?

Hutto asks to
speak with you.

Slap me.

- Night or day?
- Night.

He may enter.

Majesty...

fresh word has come
from Alexandria.

Speak, worm!

I am most deeply
sorry to say

Majesty must prepare herself
for her journey to the afterlife.

When?

Now.

Say your words.

Hello, ladies.

Attack Caesar?

Are you serious?

Why not?

He only has
a few hundred men with him.

How many men
could you rally?

You would be
the liberator of Egypt.

Your name would
live forever.

My mortal flesh should
be less fortunate.

Rome does not
forget an injury.

Oh, forget Rome!

Rome is doomed.

Her people tear at
their flesh like mad dogs.

In 10 years the city
will be a forgotten ruin.

Maybe so, but what
of next year?

Perhaps you're right.

Ergo,
caution is best, yes.

Perhaps... you don't
have enough influence

among the people.

And Caesar has
so few men.

I could raise the
whole city with a word.

Think on it.

Oh, do you think I could
borrow Septimius for a little while?

I'd be most grateful.

Of course.

Messenger from
Ptolemy Xlll begs entry, sir.

"Ptolemy the Water Bringer,
he of the two ladies,

he of sedge and bee,
King of Kings, Son of Ra,

informs His Most
Grand Honor, et cetera,

that him who bears this message
is him that killed Pompey."

He's handsome enough.

Good, strong chin.

Looks like a mean
old man to me.

More.

Divinity's mortal flesh
turns green.

Give it here.

She will look like a reptile
when she arrives at Alexandria.

Weak, I call it.

Weak, am I?

She knows how to beat
her slaves well enough,

but she cannot
throw away that pipe,

- and she knows it.
- Insolent dwarf.

You know nothing.

Throw it out.

Throw... it out.

Weak, am I?

That Gyppo princess,
now that's good cunny.

Her father's people
rode with Alexander.

- You can't speak of her like that.
- She is, though,

and she wants me badly.

Should've seen her when
I done that Nubian. Wet as October!

Pullo, look at me.

She is a princess
of royal blood.

You touch her,
you die.

I'm not stupid.

I'm just saying
she wants me.

Lovely. Lovely.

Nothing like cold,
stinking sweat to seduce a man.

Caesar will think himself
on Olympus with Aphrodite.

Hush, piglet!

What do you know
of seduction?

As long as Caesar
is a man,

I will have him.

She seems very
sure of herself.

I have him...
or I die.

So I will have him.

May it be so, Isis.

I only wish
he were here today.

My womb is
between the flood.

A child would come
as sure as spring.

Come.

You, come.

Ahh-ooh...

So red!

Your Highness, how can
I be of service?

Leather. Olives.
Not so bad.

- He will do.
- Majesty commands you will enter her.

I do not understand.

You have coitus with her.

You have it wrong.
Coitus means to make babies.

Exact!
So, make babies.

Don't be scared.

I'm not scared, I just
cannot do what you ask!

It is not...
it is not in our custom.

Roman men are not used
by women in this way.

Come, you will enjoy it.

My queen is
an excellent lover.

What is he waiting for?

He must do
as he is told!

- Let me give you a hand.
- Get off!

I must ask forgiveness of
Your Majesty, but I cannot comply!

I am no slave
to be commanded so!

- With all respect...
- He refuses?

This... insect
refuses me?!

You dare refuse
the daughter of a sun god?

Pullo, report immediately to
Princess Cleopatra and do as she says!

- Eh?
- You heard!

- What's going on?
- Just go.

Legionary Titus Pullo
reporting for duty, ma'am.

Whooh.

- Gods, that was something...
- I don't want to know.

If you value your life,
you won't speak of it again.

Why? I was only obeying orders.
Bloody good orders, too.

What do you think Caesar
will do if he hears of it?

I'm not stupid.

I promised the princess.
I shall not speak of it.

You can't keep a secret
to save your life.

You've got a mouth
like a drain.

Whooh.

Princess Cleopatra, sir.

Daughter of
the Two Rams,

mistress of
sedge and bee!

Oh!

Well done, Majesty!

Oh!
Thank you.

Is something wrong,
little husband?

How funny you look
in Father's chair.

- I never wanted to harm you.
- Shh.

Of course you did not.

It was your gelding
led you astray, no doubt.

- Mistress...
- It must not speak.

It must die!

It was him...

not me.

He led him astray,

not me.

It was him!

Get in formation!

And you, Pullo.

Calpurnia...

She's your third wife?

She is.

Has she given you a son?

She has not.

How sad.

A man without sons is
a man without a future.

I never thought
of it that way.

Sad.

Never mind.

Have you secured
the upriver ports?

You must do so
immediately.

Whoever controls
the ports controls Egypt.

Good advice, no doubt,

- if I wanted to control Egypt.
- Of course you do.

Why else are you here?

And why save me so
heroically from death...

if not to use me as your...

puppet queen?

Do you dislike
the notion?

My wishes
are immaterial.

You redeemed me
from captivity.

I am your slave.

Testudo!

- Are you well?
- Well enough,

though I do not sleep.

I write very bad poetry
through the night

and in the morning I give it
to the cook to stoke the kitchen fire.

It's a form of magic.

My ill conscience
is transformed into

roast birds
and pastries.

You should have
no ill conscience.

We only did what
we had to do.

No doubt Saturn said something
of the sort after eating his children.

The question is...

if Caesar does not
return from Egypt...

Oh, Caesar has escaped
tighter traps than this.

He has been besieged in
Alexandria the better part of a year.

Perhaps his luck
has run out.

Well, what fools
we shall look

if we have kissed
the feet of a dead man.

With Caesar dead,
that bastard Marc Antony

will be unleashed
to do as he wants.

Very likely, but it isn't
a concern of mine.

I am done with politics.

Self-pity is
all very well.

I'm not unashamed myself.

But we are still senators.

We have responsibilities.

I remind you we swore
an oath of loyalty.

To Caesar,
not to Antony.

Cato and Scipio have
raised an army in Numidia.

If we were to
communicate with them,

we might... we might...

If it isn't Cicero.

How strange. I was just
now thinking of you.

I've received
some happy news,

and my first thought was
to come and tell you two.

And here you are.

What a coincidence!

It's amusing how often
that happens, eh?

So I was walking
across the Forum

and thinking of
this particular woman,

who should arrive
right in front of me

but the thing herself.

Savage little
Spanish creature.

Hair down
to her ass. Huh!

Everyone misjudges me,
you know.

I'm a merciful man.

I know that's not
my reputation,

but I am.

Now, everyone's entitled
to a few mistakes.

Gods know, I made
one or two myself.

I've done things...

things I'm ashamed
to think of.

We are, all of us,
imperfect in our way.

Exactly.

We are, all of us,
imperfect.

Give me your hands,
brother Cicero.

With all my heart...

I forgive you.

I don't know
what you mean.

Nothing escapes me.

If a pigeon dies on
the Avantine, I hear of it.

So be assured,
brother, if I ever again...

hear your name connected

with murmurs
of treachery...

I will cut off

these soft, pink hands,

and nail them
to the Senate door.

- Antony?
- Hmm?

You said you had
happy news to tell us.

Oh. Yes.
Of course.

A courier came
from Alexandria.

Caesar has
lifted the siege

and massacred
the armies of Ptolemy.

He is safe and sound,

and master of all Egypt.

The man is
a damn prodigy, eh?

Atten-hut!

Hail Caesar!