Original subtitles

Max, I gotta be honest,

you know they told me you would...

Hi-ya!

Max, I need you to focus.

-Hi-ya! -Max.

Max!

I slayed the male, did I slay him.

Max, I need you to slay her.

See that beautiful lady right there?

I see her, hello!

Yes, I need you to cuddle with her.

This is nine times now, nine takes.

I need you to get in the bed, put down the spear

and cuddle with her.

Can we just cuddle, please?

Can we cuddle?

I'm not cuddling.

You're just wasting my time.

I'm so sorry, Legs.

Max!

Seriously, can we just cuddle?

Gimme five minutes, let me talk to him.

No, I'm not doin' it, I'm not doin' it.

We don't need to talk about it anymore.

What do you mean, you're not cuddling?

I told you it's not in my contract to cuddle on this film!

It's your trademark, you cuddle in all your films!

I don't care what I did in all my other films.

Okay?

You gotta be kidding!

I'm not gonna do it!

You understand this is porn

and that's the biggest porn star in the industry.

I understand that's Poppy Seed.

That's who I see there, that's her character name.

Who is this guy?

I am leaving because you're an asshole.

You can just pardon me outta here!

Legs please.

You can kiss my ass!

Maybe I will!

Fuck you!

You just ran out

the biggest porn star in the industry.

Good, we'll make it a solo mission.

You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.

You're not a fucking actor, you're a porn star!

You have a dick you stick it in her then you cuddle,

that's what you do!

Where are you fucking going?

Max!

Stay away from me, I will spear you!

Go away!

-Max. -What?

I need you to get in there

and do your fucking job.

I'm not gonna do it, I already told you.

Okay?

I'm done!

I'm done with that.

-You're done? -Yes, I'm done!

You're not gonna cuddle?

I'm not gonna cuddle.

Then get the fuck off my set!

You're not gonna cuddle?

You know who I'm gonna replace you with?

Johnny Lightning. Perfect!

Johnny Lightning is gonna be...

-Who the hell is that, I don't even know.

You don't know who Johnny Lightning is?

Mother fucker!

My name is Devin Wright,

I'm an aspiring filmmaker, author and documentarian,

What you just saw was the last time

the world's most famous male porn star, Max Ironwood,

was on an adult film set.

He dropped the name Max Ironwood

and went back to his real name, Richard Peter Johnson.

I had the serendipity of meeting Richard at traffic school.

And when he left pornography to pursue his dreams of acting,

I knew I had to document it.

As I got to know him,

Richard became the person I respected the most.

And the least at the same time.

This is not just his story, but everyone's story.

Everyone out there following their impossible dreams.

RICHARD PETER JOHSON Subrip: Pix

How did you get stated in porn?

Kind of by chance.

I was like a bike messenger.

I was going up Ventura Boulevard

and I rode my message in,

which was in then a porn office.

I get in there, and they were rolling, they were shooting!

And I walked in with my bike over my shoulder,

my helmet on, my speed pants

and they thought I was the principle actor.

How can I bang out these wins if I don't have players?

We just don't have the money to fund the teams

the way the Wankees do.

Puh, Wankees!

However, you can always make it worth my while.

They don't call me Moneyballs for nothin'.

Well, the last time that I worked with him

I thought he was a little bit into himself.

He had this thing going on with all his props,

and I don't like anyone to waste my time.

I have a three year-old son that I have to get home to.

So, I walked out cuz I thought he was ridiculous.

Look, here's the thing I know.

We were in "Sailor with Semen"

in the sequel now with Johnny Lightning.

Very good.

And I cannot tell you, like it's so much better.

There is no drama, no cuddle, no tears after we finish it.

I mean, it's a business, you know?

He was cuddling like, just wetting me with his tears.

And it's like you know the makeup girl coming in

and cleaning me all the time.

I mean she was cleaning my anyways because, you know.

But, it's such a waste of my time!

I wanna get it done with and get outta there!

No, no!

Stay, stay, stay!

Is this good for you?

This is the best ever!

You're so good at cuddling.

Co comfortable!

So, comfortable!

But hard.

No, just comfortable.

Okay.

You're the, you're the best sporker I've ever been with.

Yeah. Yeah.

I totally get his transition, too.

I mean like, I actually, I write books.

-Really? -Yeah, yeah, like...

I didn't know that!

-You didn't? -I did!

-Yeah, like. -Okay.

I don't know, I figured honestly

like after Snooki did it, it was like why couldn't I?

Like, Snooki's stupid!

Her book is really good, though.

Is it really?

Yeah, you should read it.

I'm never reading Snooki's

-Have you? -I haven't read it.

You should, it's really good.

Yeah, but just like how hard can it be?

I get wanting to do something bigger than this,

because this just about like your body.

And you know I'm smart

and I have stuff to say.

Fellow human, you must help me!

I'm from the future.

But I traveled back in time because in the future

there are no men.

But I still need cock!

I mean, I'm pretty sure Richard knows that

it was definitely me who got him to where he is today.

Yeah?

Yeah.

And so, what do you think about Richard leaving porn,

pursuing legitimate acting full-time?

What do you mean legitimate acting?

Did you not know?

Richard's actually dropped the name Max Ironwood

he's now just only pursuing real acting, no porn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, of course I knew that.

Would you not!

Johnny said he was a big influence on you.

Huge influence, yeah.

I would say that he was the guy

who showed me the door that I had to walk through

to get to the street

to my door.

To get through my influence.

Okay, I'm loosely following that metaphor, but...

I found through that

I was able to pull some integrity,

and actually enjoy the acting part of the porn.

Where like, that's where my soul really flourished.

And then the other aspect, I felt very dead and soul-less.

But the acting, you know, that's where I felt alive.

This is Kyles' room.

Yeah, we're cool.

Alright, I just wanna make sure,

I don't know what I'm doing so.

Op!

I thought you were gonna be out with Paco today,

are you okay?

Jesus!

Who are these guys with their big cameras?

I thought I told you

we were starting the film today, buddy.

Sorry I'm...

I forgot, I'm sorry.

Is everything okay with you?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Where has Paco gone?

I don't know.

Did you lose him or is he gone?

It's both cuz he's gone and...

Yeah, I lost him.

I get it.

Paco's a small man.

He's what you'd call a dwarf?

I think that is the correct term.

Is a dwarf the one with a small head?

Yeah. Small head, he just.

That's Paco.

I remember there was this one specific time

I was in middle school...

Yeah, Richard was in 8th grade, I was in 6th.

And this kid named Tommy Jensen was pushing me.

He was pushing me and he was like, you know,

he was calling me like a faggot and stuff,

cuz I came out really early, really early.

Like 6th grade I was like out the door!

And Richard comes out of nowhere

and just spears like with his head.

Just spears him!

Right in the chest.

The kid went to the hospital for two days

but I'll tell you one thing, never called me a faggot again.

I guess I can tell him now.

Somethin' I never told you before.

I snuck into the hospital room and

I put my balls on his face.

You did not!

Yep.

My prepubescent balls, right on his face.

I did not know that!

I did not, that is amaze, thank you!

So, we've talked a little bit about you guys,

I was wondering if you could

talk about your dad a little bit.

He was so funny, he was just a funny guy.

I mean, kinda weird but just funny.

Like you know, so kind, so open.

Dad just had such a sense of humor.

I mean his name was Longfellow Johnson.

Yes.

People call him Long Johnson for short.

And I mean not to mention Richard Johnson,

I mean the whole thing's just a big joke!

What?

What is?

What do you think?

It's nice, it's smaller than your brother's.

That's alright.

He can have the big one.

But you cover

the rent on the place, right?

Yep.

So why don't you just show me

some of the stuff you got in here.

Okay, this is the guys who invented

Life Cereal magazine.

It's about Life cereal.

Those are the Kennedys.

John F. Kennedy, Robert F. Kennedy.

Yeah, whoever.

How 'bout your calendar,

what do we got goin' on this month?

Movie "All The Right Men".

Was that one of the projects you worked on?

No that's, Kyle likes to come in here

and let me know what he's doing, so I always know.

Interesting.

Kyle's B Day Gay Day Bashy Poo?

Yep.

That'll be fun, we got a little thing planned for him.

Good, good.

What do we have here?

Yep, that's an old head shot.

This is an old head shot.

Can we get, can you get in on this for me?

Yeah, you see that?

I mean it's old so...

Richard Johnson's old head shot.

This was your porn head shot, right?

No, that was when we met.

The traffic school?

Yes, okay.

So this is many years ago, okay.

Yeah, look at you still...

Can you just hold that up to the camera and just...

Okay, that's great for us, thank you.

Thank you for that.

So, you currently are using this as your head shot

this is years ago! That's all I got.

Yeah, that's all I have, so.

But I'm getting pictures sometime this week.

Alright, well I think you could use 'em.

I like that.

I like the idea of a wing thing, yes.

What do you think of this shirt?

I like the lapel and underneath there's bow ties.

Yeah, that's cute.

Yeah man, I'm gettin' new head shots today.

Gee Wychowski.

So many of us build up these walls.

These large walls keeping what is true

from coming out.

And me, as a photographer I try to

break those walls down.

You know, I'm a stick of dynamite,

the wall gets broken whenever I explode.

You just look so timid.

Need to see tiger, a tiger coming out of you.

-Rarr! -No hands, no hands!

Eyes, it's gonna be only the eyes.

Okay I, okay.

You got it?

See look how, that's so great only your eyes were closed.

Can I see it?

No, you can't

Just to like fix what I'm doin'?

No absolutely not, because then you'll be

somewhere else and I want you here.

Richard strikes me as a rhinoceros mixed with like a lemur.

Like a "lemocimous".

Or a "rhimur".

He's got something inside of him that

obviously is lumbering and large,

but it stands upright.

It is alert.

Give me a real tiger.

Tiger!

Claws with your eyes!

Claws with your eyes, blink them!

Blink, blink!

Count to seven.

Seven, count to seven! One, two, three

Four five...

-Seven! -Seven.

Did we get one?

Did I make a picture?

It's perfect.

Marlon, where's Fernand?

Shhhhhh.

Why are we being quiet?

I'm staring out into the ocean, sitting in a meadow.

There's a tree to my left with it's

curled, gnarled branches reaching up into the heavens.

What kind of tree is it?

Apple.

I like apples.

Is it usual for him to be late?

He's a genius, genius is always present.

Okay.

I'm preparing.

Let's begin.

Froy.

What are you doing, Froy?

I have a scene with Tanesia.

God bless you, Tanesia.

Veronica!

What do you have today?

We have a work in ream

A work in ream.

And better work!

Marlon.

I'll be doing a scene from "Beyond the Horizon",

playing both Robert and Andy.

That's the kind of dedication that,

that keeps me going.

You, Levi, what are you doing?

My name is actually Richard.

Really, Richard?

Richard what do yo have today?

I don't have anything I just thought I'd watch.

-Watch? -Yeah.

Watch?

You're just gonna watch?

Tell me somethin', Richard.

You think, wait no, you think Hamlet just watched?

-I don't know... -No, no.

No hey, look what, what?

-I don't know... -But do you think

Michelle Pfeiffer just watched?

Lemme tell you something.

See, all of these students here?

These actors?

They brought in a new scene every single week.

They brought in so many scenes

that I threw up every time that they

went down there on the stage, I lost 32 pounds.

I looked good, baby!

First scene.

You see?

If you just wanna watch.

You don't have any idea some of the things

I've had to do in my career, do you?

No.

There's a particular technique that I like to employ it,

I like to have my students relive

traumatic experiences in their life.

Physical abuse, rape, incest.

And if they haven't had any experiences,

I've suggested they go out and find them.

You know, submit to spousal abuse.

Participate in a hate crime.

And then I have them script these out.

Script them out and do them again and again

and again and again and again.

Because that is where you're acting is born.

Your pain is your gold.

God that was weird.

My agent called.

And he text me.

KFC audition tomorrow!

How 'bout that?

Look who, hey!

Hey, What's up Richard?

What is up, Eddie!

What are you doing here?

The KFC audition, I'm comin' to confirm with you.

I told you many times to just call or...

Thank you, I confirmed you.

-Thank you! -Richard.

Scoooobie doo!

Can you just email us?

I've told you this like six or seven times.

Yeah, I think he did.

But I'm saying you don't have to

personally come in and confirm,

I'm happy to see you... Let's see who can

Hold our breaths the longest.

No, I, I...

he loses!

-I won! -You won,

I just let go!

Richard leave.

I don't know, I was just helping you.

Leave my office right now.

Well, I just wanted to like...

-Okay. -To say hi!

Mr. Bubbles.

I am so proud of you, Richard and Miguel.

Go, just go!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 'bout, I'm sorry.

Miguel, call me after work.

Eddie?

Eddie!

Don't embarrass me that way!

I am trying hard, look what I did!

I just did this.

Just to cover up my tears.

How did you find Richard?

Well, I had a...

I was sort of in transition.

I had just left working at CAA.

And none of my clients had followed me over.

You know, it was a sort of dramatic time for me

and that's when I ran into Richard.

And I decided to open my own shingle,

and so that's how I started VCAA.

It's Very Creative Artists Agency.

Well, how do you think

representing a porn star will affect your business here?

Well, we don't really see him as a porn star.

We see him as a...

An artist.

A very creative artist.

With an agency.

But you don't think Max Ironwood is...

-Max Ironwood is... -Who?

Yeah, who is Max Ironwood?

What was that?

I heard you...

Do you know Max Ironwood?

No, I only know Richard Johnson.

Max Ironwood is a thing of the past.

Richard, hey!

I'm just throwin' a little small party, I hope that's okay.

Yeah it's fine I just, I got an audition tomorrow...

Holy shit, are you fucking serious?

Yeah, so...

Everyone shut the fuck up!

My brother Richard, has an audition tomorrow.

It's okay, it's just for KFC, so.

I think this calls for shots.

Shots! Well, I don't know.

Shots!

Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots,

shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots,

BJs, shots, shots!

You know I recognized you

from the second you walked in the door.

You're Max Ironwood.

I've seen you do some

pretty amazing stuff with that iron wood of yours.

I ain't seen nothin' yet.

Let's go in your room.

Okay.

But, I need one of those

signature Max Ironwood cuddles afterwards.

Okay, yeah alright.

My main thing is throwing parties.

During high school I just really

came into my own as just a party-thrower.

I mean everyone just from the beginning

was just like Kyle knows how to get the fuck down.

And so I do.

If you wanna be a socialite like

Kim, Paris, Courtney, any of those really important,

influential people that we have in our life,

you know you have to party.

You have to have something that you can bring to society,

and that's what I bring.

I mean, Sean Penn brings aid to Haiti.

But the thing is,

I don't even think they speak English there, you know.

But I bring partying to the world.

And I mean everyone in the world knew.

Well maybe not, there's a couple foreigners in there,

but I mean, pretty much everybody speaks English, right?

-Like that? -Yeah do that

Suck your finger like a...

Yesh, come on, what's goin' on?

I'm lookin' for my sides, I'll be right there.

Op, you're there.

Kentucky Fried.

I love chicken pot pies.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Okay yeah, do that.

Take these off and just...

Yeah!

-Okay just wait. -How do I look?

How do I look?

-You look great. -Hows my makeup?

I love chicken pot pies.

I love chicken POT pies!

I love chicken pot-pies.

I love, I love, I love, I LOVE chicken pot pies.

-You're so fuckin' kinky, -I love chicken

Pot pies!

Hey, I'll be your little chicken pot pie.

Yeah.

A little onion and then

some seasoning. A little garlic.

-Be like season -Poke me through!

My arms look fat I think.

No, they're really nice.

Look at my tits.

They're perfect, okay?

I love 'em like I love chicken pot pies.

I love chicken pot pies.

I love chicken pot-pies.

I love chicken pot pies.

Fuck, I'm nervous.

Alright, if you just wanna stand over here, Richard

we'll get some stills.

You must get like a lotta auditions?

Yeah.

This is cool, okay.

Do you wanna look at the camera?

If you could just slate your name for me,

that'd be great, too.

Just say your name to the camera.

Richard Johnson.

-Great. -Richard Peter Johnson.

Great, okay.

Awesome Richard, I'm ready when you are.

I like chicken pot pies.

Perfect!

Nope, I got more.

No, that's all I needed that actually

was great! I got it!

I love chicken pot pies.

I actually don't need anything else.

Not a jingle.

I LOVE chicken pot pies.

Awesome, yeah okay.

What's going on, why, why don't

I wanna, I wanna do it again.

No it's, you did it!

It was awesome, and that's it

and we're good. That's it?

-Yep, in and out. -I don't know I.

Okay.

I'm so sorry.

No kay.

Yeah.

Richard if you could just see yourself out,

we'll be in touch.

Great, yeah time to go.

Thank you.

-Okay. -Yeah.

Well, are you sure?

Yep, so sure.

Yeah, pull your pants up and just head on out.

Okay.

Be in touch.

Alright, alright, alright!

Thank you all for coming out!

How we feelin'?

I love this energy!

We have an amazing show for you guys tonight.

So please, turn off all your cell phones

and let's feel some energy for our first group,

The Terrible Threes!

Yeah!

Guys, thank you so much for having us.

We actually tonight, we doing a normal improv,

but we got a special treat.

A special guest.

Our friend here, Marlon, he has this friend

that he met in an acting class.

And he said that the friend said

that he wanted to get an improv.

So Marlon said okay, why don't you

come down to one of our shows

and we'll out you on.

So, put your hands together for our special guest,

Richard P. Johnson!

What we're gonna do is get a suggestion from you guys

of what is making you sad right now in your life.

Puppies!

Cheese, cheese!

I heard puppies. Cheese!

Puppies from Jersey.

We're gonna take it from the audience

but I like that cheese is making you sad.

It makes you constipated apparently.

Puppies!

-Ruff, ruff, rrruuuff. -Ruff, ruff, rruuuff.

That's really good, Bobby.

You're doin' a great dog, Bobby.

That's really cute.

That's the kind of dog I want.

That's the kind of dog you want, Bobby?

A cute one?

Yeah, a cute one alright?

I don't want one of these dogs.

Rarr, raaaarrrr, raarr!

Let go of that man!

I'm shooting you!

This is my neighbor.

Hey our neighbor, he's saving us!

What is he doing with that?

I think he's trying to shoot you.

His gun doesn't work.

And he left!

We'll see you later, Bob.

So he just up, so his name

is Bob? My name's Carl Jr.

It's name is Carl Junior.

Okay, okay!

At your service, sir.

At your service, sir.

I hired two butlers cuz I'm that rich.

Well then you have...

No you guys aren't butlers you're octopuses!

This is my son, you do what he says.

No, I'm not in the scene,

I'm not in the scene, Marlon.

Said he's not in the scene.

Alright hey, you hired two octopuses!

Wooo, wooo!

Hey man, we suck!

Yes and we...

You don't suck, you don't suck.

No they do suck, they suck.

You suck!

We Suck as butler octopuses.

But you can't talk!

You have no mouth.

Alright.

Guys awesome!

Yeah good job, let's go, nice work.

Hey you, I could do some actin' work with you, right?

Means a lot to me.

-Yeah. -Thanks.

Bro, tighten up the gut, you know what I mean?

Are you serious?

I mean, I think it went pretty well, don't you?

Like I was pretty good!

I don't think comedy's for me, however.

So I'll just leave it to those guys, you know.

Excuse me a second.

It's my agent.

Talk to me!

What's up Eddie?

Okay.

That's awesome!

Okay, I'll probly come in and say hi like just to reconfirm

that I'm gonna be available for you, okay?

Bye!

I just got a huge audition for Monday.

Precinct of Horror.

It's a Lions Gate movie, Jim Parrack's gonna direct it.

My God!

I mean, that's as good as it gets!

Yeah, how do you feel right now?

I mean hsssss, hoooo, ya know?

Yeah, I do.

Woo!

When I found out that he had this big audish

with this big time director, Jim Parrack,

of True Blood fame, I'm a big fan.

I honestly almost pooped a brick.

That no, I'm kidding, I'm totally kidding!

My first thought was probly, it was fuck yeah!

And then the second was let's party!

Hey guys, it's weird to see you here.

Johnny, Beth, how did you guys, how did you guys get here?

Automobile.

I assumed that, I just mean you know, did you,

were you invited to this?

I mean, we were, I wasn't technically invited but

Richard would want me here, so.

Would he?

I actually was invited.

This is, yeah, yeah-yeah.

This is my boss, I was invited, Kyle is a friend of mine

from some of the earlier parties.

So, that's how we got here.

Did I hear someone say my name?

Mwah, mwah!

You look absolutely fucking amazing!

Have I said that? You look amazing!

Have I said that, cuz I just did!

Is, is, is Richard,

Is Richard here?

Yeah, he's actually around here somewhere.

This party is actually for him, he got a big audish.

So yeah, we're celebrating!

-What? -Yeah!

-It's really cool. -That's so exciting!

It's like a big feature, big holy thing.

No it's not holy!

So is he here?

Is he here though?

-Sorry, I'm sorry. -You know what?

I'll go find him for you.

You got a brother, whole time I didn't know it.

And he's a gay.

Man.

So I guess not s'posed to call you

Max Ironwood anymore?

No.

I respect that man, I get it.

I'm goin' legit, too.

I'm goin' legit, too, that's right.

It's funny how similar we are.

You think we're similar?

I know we're similar!

I look in the mirror and I see like

a reflection of you!

I taught you everything you know about porn.

Acting.

And now I'm gonna teach you a thing or two

about Hollywood acting.

Did I just hear you use the word acting?

You don't even know what the craft is!

It's...

You look like Coolio!

It's a vessel that, yeah well guess who's acting now.

I think that's why we have the same agent,

he sees like the exact same talent.

I think that's a...

You're with Eddie Kim?

Yeah, Eddie Kim.

He's a good guy.

Sorry, you're in heels, you're in heels, sorry.

Who are you cutie?

I just, I miss like us hanging out.

That sweater, what the fuck?

It's an ugly sweater party!

Hey, who are you, hi.

Hi, my name is Sarah.

Kyle, very nice to meet...

She's from Missouri!

That adorable part.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Come here, I wanna show you this fuckin' party!

Okay.

-Hi! -Hi!

Richard.

Sarah.

Sarah.

It's a good name, with an "H" or...

Yes.

So, this is my place and yeah this is our party,

Kyle and I live together and, you want a tour?

What are you, like 40 years old?

-No, I mean do I look 40? -I was kidding sorry.

I'm sorry no, you really don't.

No, I would like to see.

Alright, cool.

Come aboard the ship matey!

Oooh, that was pretty nice!

And that's the way that cookie crumbles.

Nice, you have, you guys have a great place.

I love all the artwork that you guys have up.

Yeah, it's my buddy Jason Fallon.

-Cool. -He's my buddy!

So, he helps me out with this stuff, yeah.

That's nice.

And this is my spot.

Nice!

I see you have the dog painting playing poker.

Red sheets, nice.

The bed sheets are nice, thousand count.

You must sleep good.

I do, in the nude.

What are we cheers-ing to?

Congratulations are in order for your big audition.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

I see you've got your eyes on a fair maiden.

You should go get her, Richard.

Can you man the helm and stop swayin' the boat?

The early bird may get the worm.

But it is the wise owl who gets the last laugh.

Hey everyone, it's fucking King's Cup, alright?

So come on, let's go!

Yes move!

Make the feet shuffle, there we go.

Sit down, grab a partner.

Hey Sarah, sit here I got you a seat with chairs.

I'm fine right here.

Thank you though.

Look, it's Beth my favorite person.

Me? Okay.

Never have I ever

gone skydiving.

You, you gonna say anything?

Okay.

Op, here we go.

Missouri's gonna lay it on us, let's see!

Les Mis!

Okay.

Never have I ever

had sex on camera.

Oooooh and there goes the dynamite!

Someone's drinkin'!

Woopsie!

Are you guys serious?

You've really had sex on camera?

Like I'm not, I'm not tryin' to be like rude or anything,

but in the line of business that we're in,

that's gonna like come back and haunt you.

But I mean okay, well what about Kim Kardashian?

I mean, she mad a sex tape and

obviously things worked out well for her!

Well I mean, if you wanna live your life like

fucking Kim Kardashian who's known for what, her ass?

That's great, I'm glad like she's done a lot for the world.

But I mean, if you wanna be like taken seriously,

like a Meryl Streep or like a Sean Penn.

Like why would you make, well why would you make a sex tape

and like not only like porn is so demeaning

and not to go off on like really crazy

vagina monologue or anything but like,

I mean it teaches men that they can treat women like that.

And then it treats women

that they should be treated like that.

It's like they're basically saying like

"I'm a cum dumpster, waiting for my next load."

Mmmmmmt!

I need another one.

Well, that was my last one,

so who's up, right?

Hey, hey knock it off!

Go away, hey stop, God dammit!

Jess, wake up!

Bitch!

Wake up!

We got a dead one!

-Hey. -I get some water.

My God, Jess?

I wanna get some of this out.

No one wants it, Jesus.

Shit, she was my ride.

My God, she was your ride?

You know what, you know what, you'll stay with me.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I like sucking dick Dear,

so you're gonna be fine, okay?

Hey, hey!

God!

Anybody order a water?

It's fine, they're gonna stay with us tonight, so.

I can build a fort!

I'll smash the chairs together!

I'll get the sheets!

Okay Richard.

I'll get you some clothes, okay, come on.

Come with me, come with me.

Kyle!

I need something to drink.

My God!

Holy shit!

Jesus Christ, Richard!

Put the fucking gonzo away!

-Penis shuffleboard. -Good morning!

Did you guys have a good time last night?

We had a very good time.

It's a shame.

Okay, anyways bitches, see you later.

Mwa, mwa.

-Good seein' you. -So hot.

Nice one.

Still got it!

Yeah, it's right there.

Thank you.

Let's clean this shit up now.

Richard, yeah.

Is this good, or am I good?

The script is excellent.

So I want you, to give what to the script needs.

So, I want you to give me the speech again, alright?

Give me the speech again.

From "not gonna happen".

Not gonna happen.

Good.

Lord Vladimir for 200 years you've been my master,

my guardian, my teacher.

Give me more energy.

For 200 years I've loved you as son to his father!

However, you are but a shell to the man who raised me.

I'm leaving The Order and I'm taking Lucy with me.

I wanna see that again, do the whole speech again.

Do the whole speech again.

Lord Vladimir for 200 years you've been my...

Physicalize it!

Right now you're more of a game show.

For 200 years you've been my master.

-Good! -My guardian,

-Yes. -My teacher.

Good.

-You want some water? -Yeah.

Well, vampires are thirsty, so just come to me.

One breath, the whole thing with one breath.

Cuz vampires are dead, they don't have to breathe,

so one breath.

Lord Vladimir for 200 years you've been my master,

my guardian, my teacher.

For 200 years I've loved you as a son to his father.

However, you are but a shadow of the man who raised me.

I'm leaving The Order and I'm taking Lucy with me.

Just don't worry, you're afraid of the power thing.

Hold me.

Really hug me.

Really hug me.

Okay.

Alright, so look who we happened to find

running down the street here.

None other than Sarah!

So, we heard that you and Richard

will be goin' on a date, how did that happen?

That was...

Sorry to spring that on you.

No, no it's fine.

I actually I saw him at Costco

and I was hiding behind the shag rugs

because I didn't want him to see me.

And I was watching him like,

actually it's really creepy whenever I say it out loud,

but he was tryin' to get like a sample

and there was one left and a kid came up and

the kid wanted a sample and he gave him his sample.

And I was like, that's kinda nice.

So, I went and talked to him a little bit

and then I asked him if he wanted maybe go out with me.

Wait, you asked him out?

Yeah.

Why is that...

No, I don't know, that's nice, that's cool.

Yeah, I felt like I was just kinda mean to him

the other night whenever I first met him

and kinda just wanna give him a chance as like a friend

and yeah.

So, when did you get the acting insect.

I guess it was fifth grade?

Yeah we did this thing called

"Guess Who's Coming to Dinner".

Who?

But you would pick someone,

a famous figure through history,

and write like a huge report on them.

And at the very end you would have a dinner

and everyone would dress up as their character.

And I did mine on Amelia Earhart,

cuz I've always looked up to her.

She sounds tough.

Yeah.

And I was talking about whenever

I disappeared over the ocean, or she did,

and I just started crying.

And it just made me realize that I really wanted

to be able to tell someone else's story.

And be able to live someone else's life,

like it's just so beautiful to me.

That's, that's awesome.

What about you?

High school I would say.

I was John Merrick in The Elephant Man.

That's really dark

and intense for high school.

I guess yeah, my favorite part was

the speech I have where I get,

bear with me for a second.

Okay.

I'm not an elephant.

I'm not an animal.

I'm a human being.

I am a man.

You know?

And my dad was sittin' there in the front row and...

It was just, nice you know?

You know whenever you're not tryin' to push people away,

and put walls up, you're actually a really great person.

I just want you to know that.

Thanks.

Could you come here for a second?

Why, do I have something on my face?

Let me see.

Okay.

Okay.

Excuse me, sorry to butt in here but...

What's up man?

Are you Max Ironwood?

No, no I'm not.

Come on man

it's you. No, I'm not man.

I'm a huge fan of your work.

Hey no!

I just wanna tell you that.

That way.

Excuse me, Tawny? Yeah?

Can I get this guy's check and

just put it on my bill?

Sure.

Thanks buddy, thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you, Tawny.

Sorry I just would rather...

Who did he think you were?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I get that a lot.

You know, I have that face where everybody's just like,

hey you look like that face.

And I'm like I'm this face though.

You know? Okay.

You know what I mean, though?

I guess I kinda do.

Do You like Richard?

Yeah.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

What do you like about him?

I just feel like a lot of people

don't really know who he is.

And so the fact that he opened up to me,

makes me feel really good.

-Cool. -So I like that.

That's awesome.

But what are you guys, why are you filming him?

We're just...

We're just following him like you know an actor in LA,

livin' the dream.

But aren't there like a million actors in LA?

And isn't there already kinda a show called like

"How to Make It In America"?

Isn't that a show like that?

Victor, it's so...

I know I need to show you something.

-What? -I should have

Told you soon.

Told me what?

Clyde, you're scaring me.

I never asked to be bitt-en.

Wha-what?

I keep telling you I'm better than Richard, okay?

Listen, he has some self-esteem issues,

don't let that get back to him.

I'm serious.

-Yeah, of course. -Okay.

But obviously Miguel was like

"Hey, let's get you in there.

"Let's get you in there."

I guess we represent two former porn stars so

good job, good job for that, Miguel.

I took, I did that I was like,

maybe things are getting a little too much for Eddie here,

I should step up my game.

Let's get another guy.

But this time, let's have him be Black.

Now we have two actors on both sides of the spectrum.

Who's gonna call us racist now?

Nobody.

But my point before was

no one was calling us racist before.

Right, but see I'm thinkin' ahead, ya know?

In case someone does.

In case someone does.

Now they can't.

I saw that you guys,

they're both going in on Precinct of Horror.

I mean do you think that's a conflict?

How do you feel about that?

No, no, I think we submitted both of them

because we thought they both had a shot at it.

You know my hope is that they don't mess this up

cuz we had to pull a lot of strings to get them both in.

We had a long talk with them sayin' like

listen guys, this is VCAA.

This is Very Creative Artists Agency,

this not the Vagina Cock Anal Agency.

Do you hear that shit?

No, I can't hear any...

Jesus!

They're probly fucking in there.

He's probly showing her that Missouri ass thing

she's never even dreamt of.

Do you feel guilty at all for her not knowing his past?

Fuck no!

Are you serious?

That little dumb ass shoulda Googled him.

Word to the wise, always Google people you're about to date.

That way you can know if they're like

a sex offender, or rapist.

They're like a petty thief.

Something like that, you know?

Or...

Or you can tell if they're a cowboy or not.

You know?

That they're not just dressed up as a cowboy for Halloween,

that that's actually their occupation.

And little FYI, they're in a touring rodeo show

and they can't stay in LA for too long.

And that little sexual fling you had last night,

it wasn't love it was just a one-night stand.

Then they break your heart and they fuckin' leave you.

That's what they do.

That's why you Google people.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Kinda over it I guess.

I'm glad, I think you're a fantastic individual.

Thank you!

And you love your brother very much.

I do, very much.

Very much.

If she fucks him over I will kill the bitch.

I will cut her throat

and bleed Missouri blood on this ground.

I think we're done here.

I think we are, too.

All sounds great guys, I just...

Hmmmm.

I just...

I can't do it.

No, I can't do it man, I'm sorry I just, that's not

who I am anymore.

Alright man, I'm sorry.

I really am sorry, just okay.

Hey, who was on the phone there?

That was Gus.

Your old agent?

Yeah.

What's goin' on, what was he callin' about?

They had a big studio thing for me

where I'd have complete creative control.

Big paycheck.

And a name, talent, all that good stuff.

What are we talkin'?

Yeah, six figures.

But it's porn?

But it's porn.

So, I had to turn it down.

Okay, just give me one second, I'm just looking at the...

Hey, hey, come on buddy!

-Okay, sorry. -Please, thank you.

Clyde, it's so cold.

I know.

I need to show you something.

Wh-what?

I shoulda told you sooner.

Told me what, Victor?

You're scaring me.

God, so did you guys like totally bone last night or what?

A gentleman doesn't kiss and...

Shut up you so did, you slut!

God, I cannot wait to tell her

all of the things that you have

fucked in your career. No, no.

Hey! It's gonna be like,

like a jack-o-lantern. Hey, hey!

No!

Why not?

Cuz I like her, that's why.

She doesn't know anything about what I did before,

so I wanna keep it that way.

Thank you.

You like her?

I do!

Well good, I'm happy then.

Good, I'm glad you're happy.

But Richard, you have to tell her.

I know.

Look, it's not gonna be me that spills the beans,

but you need to tell her, and soon.

I will, okay?

Just saying that was way before you met her,

and it was for Dad. Drop it!

Okay.

Thank you.

From the top, okay?

Clyde, it's so cold!

I was just tryin'...

What is that?

What?

That, that right there.

What the hell is it?

James Franco

Jim Parrack to direct, what the...

I hope James Franco's gay.

He has such nice hair.

It's thick and wavy.

Oooh, I'm going to steal your poison

by licking your face!

Hello!

Hey, what's goin' on, man?

Yeah, what is going on, Eddie?

Have you checked deadline.com today?

No why...

Well check it, please!

-Okay, okay just... -Seriously!

You know I wish you would have called.

I don't care about phones.

James Franco circles precinct...

Yeah!

Eddie, what does that

mean? This is funny?

It's funny because it's not what you think it is.

They literally attach James Franco

to 87% of the projects out there.

He's got it?

Richard listen to me, this is just what they do!

They attach him to the project to sort of legitimize it

and then they look for the real talent that they want.

Listen Richard, don't worry about it, okay?

Okay.

We got it under control.

-Cool. -Alright?

Be expectin' a call tomorrow I would say, right?

What we're sayin' is don't worry about it.

We got it under control.

You'll probly be getting a call.

It's okay Richard, we got it is what he's tryin' to say.

Okay, thanks.

Hey, just FYI you know, make things you know

like you're gonna communicate them.

Like you have a purpose.

Because sometimes people just don't understand, you know,

what you're tryin' to say.

I literally used the exact words you used.

Right, well maybe next time you know, try to be yourself.

Okay.

Yeah, okay.

Let's try it.

Okay.

Clyde, it's so cold.

I know.

I need to show you something.

Okay, see there, it's a big reveal.

It shouldn't be easy for you.

It shouldn't come just...

Did that seem easy?

I feel like it seemed...

When you said it,

you said it like... Medium.

You said it like you were telling me

you wanted mac and cheese for lunch.

Richard yeah he's a, he's a great actor.

He's a raw actor.

Not a lot of craft to it but that comes with time.

I shoulda told you sooner.

Told me what, Clyde?

You're scaring me.

This is not funny at all.

Richard this is not

funny. I can't keep it.

I can't keep this.

No, this is not funny...

My preparation is wrong.

God dammit Richard, this is not funny!

You're a vampire and you love this woman!

If you tell her you're a vampire

she's gonna run away and you know that.

But you cannot hide from the truth, Richard!

He's a passionate guy.

He trusts his gut and he goes with his gut.

I think he may have gotten

into some trouble in the past but

in the long run that's all you can really do is

really follow your heart.

That's the only compass you really have.

Well, being the awesome little brother that I am,

I heard about a little party in the Hills tonight.

And surprise!

A special guest is going to be there

by the name of Jim Parrack.

Director! Ho!

Of Precinct of Horror!

I tell you what, we are gonna charm the shit

outta that little vampire lover,

and we are gonna get Richard his part!

I don't care what you say,

James Franco can suck a dick!

Woot woot!

I'd suck his dick.

Not with those toes, bitch.

Big night.

That's what it's all about.

Meetin' people.

Lettin' 'em know who you are and what you're about.

Now Hollywood is networking?

Yeah.

It's easy, ya know?

It's all about sayin' the right thing at the right time,

to the right person in the right place and the right time.

And you feel like

it's the right all of those things?

Yeah.

I mean, this is it!

I do this right, I don't even have to audition, ya know?

You gettin' ready for the party?

Yeah!

I am.

You excited?

Yeah, I'm really excited.

I don't know, I'm kind of nervous though for Richard.

Why are you nervous?

He's just putting a lot on this party

and I just, I don't really want him to get disappointed.

Cheers to Richard.

Thanks guys.

Cheers, woo!

Cheers!

Okay so pretend I'm

Mr. Big Time Director, Jim Parrack,

what're you gonna say?

I don't really wanna do this.

Come on, it's a role play,

God knows you've done those!

What does that mean?

I'll do it, can I do it?

Why the fuck would you do it, Johnny?

Because I'm goin' to the same audition on Monday.

What?

Yeah our agent, he got me in there.

Well, we're kinda goin' to this party

for Richard and not you.

So, can you please try not to be an asshole

and ruin it for him?

Damn girl!

I am loving you

more and more!

Excuse me driver, where are we?

We're near Cedarbrook Drive.

Jesus Cedarbrook, does anyone have a phone?

Anyone have Google Maps or something...

-Hey Devin, Devin! -Yeah.

Do you know where we're at?

Nope, but Marlon does.

-Marlon? -Marlon!

When the baby buffalo loses the herd,

it uses the light of the moon

to find its way through the plains.

Alright, well we can scratch Marlon

off the helpful person's list.

I like him better as the pirate.

You know, I think it's right around this turn.

Yes, it's right around this turn,

no more than five minutes guys, I promise.

It's impossible to be anywhere

that you're not supposed to be.

That's extremely logical.

I think I'm getting car sick.

Hello?

Is Travis here?

Travis?

Where is Travis?

Travis who I am looking for.

Kyle my man!

How are you?

Alright, let's get this party started!

Yes, is Jim Parrack here?

You missed him.

-Uhhhh! -Yeah.

You know what, but better late than never,

and of course it ain't a party 'til you get here,

you know what I'm sayin'? Thank you.

Aren't you sweet, you are such a doll.

Come on in!

There's Richard.

So Jim's not here.

What?

Yeah, we just showed up too late, he's not here.

You're kidding?

I'm not, I'm not Richard.

I'm really sorry.

What is this place?

It's Travis's house, but look we'll just.

Look we'll just stay here for a little bit.

No, let's go!

He was so excited to see me!

Look, let's stay for just a little bit, okay?

And then we'll go, I promise.

I'm really sorry, Richard.

-Okay, yeah. -Okay.

I need a drink.

Hey!

What was that all about?

Nothing.

Stupid dick.

I want you to do something for me.

What to?

To us.

I'm really lucky that I found you.

God!

That was a lot bigger...

-No thanks. -Than I expected.

I love you.

Holy shit, Richard.

You have to come here and look at this, come here!

Come here, come on!

Come on, you have to come and look at this!

Hey, you should come and do a shot with me.

I just did a shot.

No, but that's okay cuz you didn't do one with me,

and we are girls and we need to take shots together.

-Okay. -Okay.

Just a little one.

Okay, you just tell me is that...

-That's good! -Okay.

Ready, go!

God!

God, that's so gross!

Let's go back...

No, but I don't want to go back to the party yet!

I wanted to talk to you about some stuff.

Okay, about what?

Okay, okay, so I really want you to tell me.

What is it like to be cuddled by Max Ironwood?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yes you do, it's Max Ironwood!

Come on, come on, it's girl,

it's girl talk! What's Max Ironwood?

It's Max, look at you!

I've seen dick in action and I've always kinda wanted

to know what it was like.

Are you talking about Richard?

Cuz he doesn't really like to be called Dick at all.

No-no, no, no I'm not talking about like Richard,

as like Dick as his name, I mean like Richard's dick!

Like his, like Max Iron-wood!

Are you lie, you really don't know?

No.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! What?

My God I'm so, you know,

you know what it's totally fine.

It's totally fine. No tell me.

Let's just go back to the party.

What are you talking about?

You should just Google Max Ironwood.

I'm really sorry, Sarah.

Shit.

Just dip and dip it and dip it.

Richard!

Hey, Max Ironwood!

What?

It is Max Ironwood!

It's Max Ironwood!

Max Iron-wood!

Max Iron-wood!

Max Iron-wood!

Max Iron-wood!

You fucking lied to me!

You lied to me!

-No, I didn't I just... -Yes, you did.

You're disgusting!

You should be ashamed of yourself!

You all should be shamed of yourself!

How selfish you are!

I'm so glad that I surrounded myself

with people like you.

Fuck you!

Yeah, Max.

For a porn star, you're one lousy fuck!

Sarah, wait.

Please!

Sarah wait, come on wait!

Wait!

God dammit wait, please.

Will you stop talking to me?

Seriously, I don't wanna hear it!

Okay, I'm sorry...

You know, I thought you were actually a good guy.

I am a good guy.

Then why did you lie to me?

I didn't lie!

I didn't!

I didn't, not really!

My God, go inside we're done.

I am so stupid.

Don't ever fucking talk to me again.

How did you get started in porn?

Well, it had to do with my dad.

A few months ago he passed away and

I was doin' this for him.

Kyle was still in high school

when we kinda fell on some hard times,

my dad's cancer.

Cuz he wasn't able to work.

What were you using that money for from porn?

To pay for my dad's medical treatments.

To help Mom with the bills.

Cuz of her home was...

Fer, fercudged?

Foreclosed maybe?

Yeah, that sounds right.

I'm sure it's a different word, but that sounds close.

Why now, why leave porn now

when you had such a good career goin' for ya?

On his bed of death...

He was like

"I know you cuddle.

"I know you cuddle, I like to cuddle, too."

And he was like...

I'm sorry.

Take a minute.

He was like "Follow your dreams.

"Do what you were meant to be doing."

Which is acting.

Lord Vordimir,

for 200 years you've been my master.

My guardian.

And my teacher.

For 200 years

I've loved you like a son to his father.

However, you're but a shell

of the man who once raised me.

I'm leaving The Order

and I'm taking Lucy with me.

Shing!

Clyde, that's...

A silver dagger of Coratore.

Give me the keys to her chamber.

Yeah, that was really good!

Yeah?

Yeah, I think you got it!

Hoo-ooo-oo!

Efff!

What, what's wrong?

It's not this, it's Sarah.

I been callin' her nonstop these last two days, man.

Haven't heard anything back.

Well listen man, you gotta let that go.

You gotta at least forget about it for this one.

No, I'm gonna use it.

Do I give this to you?

No, you'll take that in with you when you go in.

Just go ahead and sign in.

Do you mind?

Go ahead.

Thank you sir!

Yep!

My God.

Man this is crazy in here!

Madhouse!

You all ready, you good?

I'm sorry about Saturday.

I don't care man, it's okay.

Please just not now, I'm tryin' to prepare.

Break a leg, alright?

Alright, who's next?

So Kyle, what do you think about Richard's

journey this far?

He's come so far are you kidding me?

Geez, he's been working so hard at this, you know.

This is such a big deal for him.

But I'm very proud, I'm very proud.

I do have a small, little surprise planned for him,

after the audition, but keep it on the DL as they say.

But yeah, I couldn't be prouder.

Killed it!

Killed it, you guys can, you can go home.

I killed that, my God!

That was how you audition!

You guys can go home, seriously!

Richard Johnson?

Yeah, that's me.

Okay, you ready?

Yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah

Wish me luck!

Good luck!

That's for you, I believe,

Go ahead.

-Thank you. -Sure.

However, you're but a shell of the man

who once raised me.

I'm leaving The Order and I'm takin' Lucy with me.

Clyde, that's...

Yeah, the silver blade of Coatoure.

Give me the key to her chamber.

Great!

Great, okay awesome.

You got another one in you?

Yeah, like whatever you...

Why don't you just keep it rolling?

Just keep it as austere as possible I think.

Cuz that's somethin' that you don't see usually, right?

So everything is great, in fact let's just do the,

do the second scene again.

I wish we could, we could probly print it first.

So you want me to...

Just think of having...

Steer through it?

Elongated kind of austerity...

You want me to steer through it.

Not, no, no, no not a steer, but a just...

Austere, austere.

Austere, it's like...

It's a quality, it's not something you can do.

No, yet.

You want me to, in fact you want me to have a quality?

Just for the part with the weapon.

Whenever you're ready.

Wait, steer?

I'm sorry I'm not sure...

I guess austere, I don't know.

Yeah, that makes sense, austere.

Buddy.

Jesus!

Why'd you do that?

I don't know.

I don't know. I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

My God!

No, you know what?

No, no you know what?

Fuck!

(exhales deeply

Surprise!

Hold it, wait, wait!

What's wrong?

Everyone go home.

Shit.

Okay, everyone get the fuck out, let's go, come on move!

You heard him, move, let's go!

Come on!

Go, tushies out, out the door!

Richard?

Hey, are you okay?

Go away!

Hey, what happened?

I fuckin'.

I fuckin' fucked it up.

I had it!

I had it and I fucked it up.

I did it.

I never can be an actor, you know?

I'm just a fuckin' porn star,

and that's all I'm ever gonna be.

Hey!

You listen to me, you are not just a fucking porn star.

Alright, I have been watching you work so hard at this.

Alright, you are an actor,

you're really fucking good at this, you hear me?

Hey!

You are really fucking good, Richard.

And you cannot quit this.

Okay.

Okay.

I mean that, you're really talented.

You think so?

I fucking know so, okay?

Just let it go, man.

I dropped my pants again.

Jesus.

And Sarah's gone.

She's the only one who knew what I was doing.

It's gonna be okay.

Okay, I know I'm probly the last person

that you wanna hear from right now but,

listen I just wanted to clear some things up, okay?

Time to wake up you big bitch, let's go!

Come on, get up!

Get up, let's go, let's go!

I'm mourning.

What are you mourning?

The death of my dreams.

You are more dramatic than even I am.

Listen, you need to get up

and you need to go to Sarah's right now.

No!

Right now, look I told her everything, alright?

Everything!

Why, why'd you do that?

Cuz I fucking care about you, okay?

You need to go, alright?

She's willing to hear you out.

But you actually have to leave,

you know get out of the bed and go and talk to her.

Yeah, so come on... How do you know

She's willing to hear me out?

Because I talked to her

and she said she wants to meet you.

Do you know though?

Yes, I know okay?

You need to go, stop talking to me about it.

Let's move! Okay, okay!

Stop rushing me!

I'm rushing you.

Okay.

It's a big fucking deal!

-I get it! -Alright!

-Let's go! -Alright!

Okay, I'm a little upset

that you did that, honestly.

But I'm also happy now that I'm thinking about it.

-Well good. -Okay, I just had...

I'm an awesome little brother, you're welcome.

I love you. I love you.

You look handsome.

Mwa!

Okay, get outta here, go!

Who is it?

It's me.

So I don't...

Can you sit on the bed?

And just not say anything?

Nothing, just sit.

Thank you.

Fuck me.

But I'm... I wanna tell you.

That I hate you.

I'm really mad at you for what you did to me.

You made me feel used and taken advantage of.

And the fact that everyone was laughing at my expense?

Yes.

And then Kyle called me

and told me what you did for your dad.

Why didn't you tell me?

Probly cuz you thought I would act like this.

I mean, it's understandable.

But I'm kinda glad that it happened

later rather than sooner,

cuz then I wouldn't have gotten to get to know you.

And I really do love you like as a person.

Did you do it whenever we were together?

No.

No.

Well, can you me promise me

that you're not ever going to do it again,

and maybe I can forgive you.

I promise.

And why didn't you tell me about your dad?

And why didn't you tell me about your dad?

Because he's

not an excuse.

And I'm not gonna hide behind that.

And that's in the past.

Well is there anything else

that you wanna tell me?

I love you.

You're the first woman I've ever said that to.

I think you should kiss me, yeah.

Sorry, I thought

I put it on silent. It's okay.

It's my agent, he's probly calling to fire me.

No, answer it.

-No, I don't... -Yeah!

Answer it.

-Are you sure? -Yeah, please.

Okay, sorry.

No, that's okay.

Hey, Eddie.

What?

It's a big day for us, it's a big day for Richard.

It sort of validates our instincts with you know

what we sort of saw in him.

He didn't really get the part that

he originally had gone out for.

But that's okay, cuz it's still a line on the resume.

He was what, cop number six?

We don't look at numbers here.

You know, I would just say actor number one

-would be the only number. -Yeah.

Mo!

Ma, ma, ma, ma, a-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma.

I learned a hell of a lot.

I learned that you can't run away from your past,

because it follows you everywhere you go.

It's there.

And it actually helps you cuz it's who you are,

it brought you to this point, do you get that?

And to never, ever give up, ever!

Ever!

Ever give up!

And good things can happen.

I mean, just look at me!

The silver blade of Coatoure.

Officer!

I don't want anyone comin' over here!

Yes, sir!