All language subtitles for Pie.in.the.Sky.S01E07.Passion.Fruit.Fool.AMZN-Hi OFF

♫♫

You know, one day, Fisher...

One day...it´ll be
just you and me,

and a bowl of fresh
sage and onion stuffing.

You push me too far, mate.

You puff out that pigeon chest

and ruffle that fancy plumage
at me

once too often,
and I´ll just snap.

It´s just a chicken, Henry.

No, it´s not!
It´s evil incarnate.

It´s Nemesis, Armageddon,
Doomsday with a beak.

It´s a stupid little chicken,

and you should never have
called it "Fisher."

They´ve both got the same
cocky attitude.

Right, well,
I´ve got the laundry,

and I´ll be at Alec´s
all day, I expect.

So, uh, have fun then.

Fun -- right.

Look, Fisher´s away
on holiday.

You´ve got the whole week free
to work on your menus.

Nothing´s
going to disturb you.

Yeah, well, I still
don´t like it.

Why?

Because,

Fisher doesn´t
just go on holiday.

Do this.

Thank you.

Get back in! Go! Get!

Uh, I think
that´s the lot.

Morning, Barb.

I´d love to chat.
I haven´t got time.

That´s the curse
of the slave classes.

Adding up my wages won´t
take you long.

Oh, what a mess!

Well, that´s
the filing system.

Sorry.

It´s the highlight
of my year, Alec.

Hmm.

Oh.

Ah, yeah, that one´s been
through the machine.

The ink´s wiped off.

Yeah, it´s
a very good machine.

Hmm.

Pockets.

Oh, you are going to have to be
more organized than this,

Alec.

The Revenue can demand
to look at this material.

Even the accounts can´t depress
me today, Margaret.

Tina´s coming home tonight.

Raspberry.

Yeah.

Loganberry.

Mm-hmm.

Black currant.
Yeah.

And...

And?

And...
And, go on.

What?

Got you, haven´t I?

Passion fruit.
Ta-da!

Oh, that´s really good.

Linda, try some.

No, ta.

"No, ta"?
She must be sick.

I´d like to be.

Is there a problem?

There certainly is.

He banged the door down
just after you left,

drove me down here
at 90 miles an hour,

and now
he´s parking his car.

You mean, Maxwell?

I say his car,
but, of course,

speaking from past
experiences,

that may not necessarily
be accurate.

I won´t be a sec, chef.
Maxwell?

Old pal?

Hey.

Stevie?

Hey, how you doing,
old mate?

Ooh, look at that.

Dog´s bollocks,
innit?

All the extras.

Walnut dashboard, CD,
leather seats...

Central locking.

So, what do you want, Max?

Well, I thought I´d, uh,
pop down from town,

and see me old partner...
and his beautiful lady.

And, uh, well, take a little
trip to the country.

Where did you nick
that car, Max?

Look...you´re not
the only one

who can pack in
the illegal, Stevie boy.

Now, I´ve got myself

a little market stall,
don´t I?

And a bundle on your
bathroom requisites.

What hotel are you staying in?
I´ll come up for a drink later.

Well, well, I...

Well, the thing is, um...

Business hasn´t been
too good recently.

Uh, I got myself into a bit
of a tight corner.

I thought you
and Linda --

Don´t make me laugh.

No, look.

Look, it´s nothing
serious like.

It´s just -- it´s just

I can´t show me face
around no more.

I just thought, if I may need
to make a fresh start,

I could come down here, eh?

I mean, you´re sort,
sort of a model for me.

Fresh start?

You know,
get meself a little job,

somewhere to live --
proper work.

Come on, Steve?

Steve?

Just a couple of days,
mate, huh?

Old times?

They´re horrible
looking things, eh?

Their sharp,
little pecky beaks and

great big
horrible toenails.

They could do you
serious damage, you know.

People don´t seem
to realize that.

1, 2, 3.
Okay, that´s it.

Alec?

Oh, Margaret.

Can I ask you to book a table
for two at the Pie in the Sky

for me and Tina?

Yes, but we need to have
a chat, Alec.

I´ve got a bit
of a surprise for her.

A serious chat
about your expenditure.

Yeah, yeah, I know
they´re in a mess,

but you´re brilliant the way
you sort it out.

It´s not about your missing
receipts, Alec --

it´s about
the ones I´ve got.

It´s not my job to tell you
how to run the business,

but, um, car, clothes,
champagne?

What, am I bankrupt?

Not yet.

But holidays...

So many meals out
and...jewelry.

Yeah, Margaret?

Now, you can´t ask me
to be miserable

on the day I´m going
to ask her to marry me?

Well, she seems like
a lovely girl.

But?

Yeah, I know.
People like to talk.

Small minds.

Well, we entertain them.

Look, I know
there´s an age difference, but,

I´m not 100 years old --
I´ve still got my own teeth.

You´re a real catch.

You know, the day Tina walked
into that shop a year ago,

I started living.

Now, if I can´t stop people´s
mouths running,

at least I can give ´em
something good to talk about.

I´m going to marry Tina
in a church,

and I´m going to drive
her away from there

in a bloody, great big
white Rolls Royce.

Now, that sounds
very expensive.

Yes!
Sorry, mate.

Set ´em up.

No.

Oh, come on, Linda.

Just ´til he gets
a little job.

A little job to him is
a drainpipe and an open window.

Look, everyone deserves
a second chance --

look at me.

He´s an habitual criminal.
He´s also a child.

Bent or straight --
he´s a liability.

He´s got no family
to go to.

That´s because they´re
all inside -- it´s genetic.

He has landed you in so much
trouble in the past.

Please, Steve.
He´s a nuisance.

He lives on baked beans
and --

Kitchen will be closing
if she doesn´t hurry up.

I expect she just missed
her train, Mr. Bailey.

Ooh, it´s a bit too sharp.

Too minty.

It´s totally unbalanced.

Ah, quite like it.
It´s like a runny lolly.

Oh, give me strength.

Too much Kirsch.

Well, that´s the lot.
Except Mr. Bailey.

Right.

Hello?

Hello...I´m terribly sorry,
but is Tina there?

No, she´s not.

I haven´t seen her
for a couple of days.

You awake?

Right, well, um,
we´ll start

with a consomme
of the lamb first.

Then if there´s any time,

I´ll have another
go at the sorbet.

I will not let a lemon
be my Waterloo.

Hard night?

What? Oh.

Oh, yes, it --

I don´t want to mess up
your free week

with my problems, chef.

It´ll sort itself out.

If you say so.

Right,
let´s make this...

Now, what?

I don´t suppose you just
dropped in for brunch?

Calm yourself, Mr. Crabbe.

It´s the hired help
we want a word with.

Bit of business
in Maitland Street last night.

Nice little
first floor office.

That´s right
up your street,

isn´t it, Steve --
The Drainpipe King?

Oh, this is ridiculous.

Get on the phone.
Tell Linda to come down here.

She´ll confirm
where you were last night.

I wasn´t with her
all last night, chef.

We´d better continue this little
chat down the station then.

I phoned the police
in the night.

They said they´d make
a note of it.

"Call back, if she doesn´t
turn up."

Well, she hasn´t turned up.

Well, they can´t take out
a missing persons file

on everyone
who´s a few hours late, Alec.

Tina´s never been
five minutes late.

And none
of the local hospitals

have got any record
of her being admitted.

Don´t you know
where she went?

A friend in Bostock,
Jenny or...Janey.

I´ve only got the phone number,
and she´s not there anymore.

Just try to keep calm.

Yeah, but where´s Henry?
I mean, he´s a policeman.

Why doesn´t he do something?

She won´t be back.

Barb, how can
you be so sure?

She´s got another bloke
up in Bostock.

That is just
malicious gossip.

I´m sick of your resentment
of Tina.

That´s not gossip.

She had some stuff
down to the laundry.

I checked her pockets.

Well, I had to.

Can´t have toffees and the like
in these drums.

I don´t want to hurt him,
Mrs. Crabbe.

But don´t expect me
to sit back

and let him make
an even bigger fool of himself.

Come on, Tina.

Just eat a little bit,
or you´ll never get better.

But I´m not ill.

Course you are.

Rundown, tired --
never used to be like this.

You used to be laughing
all the time.

My wee girl.

I was never happy with you.

See?

That shows you how
sick you are!

Can´t remember
what a great time

we had together.

I used to watch you play pool.

That´s better.

That´s a good girl!

Let´s go and play now.

Nah.
I don´t feel like it today.

I´m too worried about you.

Or we could
go for a walk...

out in the sun.

The fresh air
will do me good.

No, we never did that.

No.
You need to rest.

That´s my girl.

Ah!

Temperamental
little tank, huh?

Slide across.

There´s a real knack to it.

You want to go for a drive?

Not today.

Alec?

I don´t believe it.

Barbara´s never had
a good word for Tina.

Never given her a chance.

I wouldn´t be surprised
if she didn´t

write that letter herself
just to ruin things.

Now, you know
she wouldn´t do that.

Yeah, and I know Tina
loves me.

So, what the hell
has happened?

Hey?!
Hey, you?!

Hey!

What the hell´s happening?

I´m just falling apart.

Hey, Stevie.

If you have been up to
your dirty old tricks again,

I will personally
cut off your --

Don´t be dirty, Steve.

I will personally
emasculate you.

Have you any idea
what that means?

Do you realize I spent the
entire day at the local nick.

Linda did mention it.
I bet she did.

Do you know what happened
to me down the local nick?

They didn´t charge you,
did they?

No, they didn´t have enough
evidence,

but they´re looking for more --
they won´t find any more,

will they, Maxwell?

No, I´m clean, Steve.
Honest, honest.

You´re sort
of a model for me, see?

Ah, you´ve tried that one
already.

All right, all right.

Oh, no.

I guess I´m sort
of a marked man, you know.

I mean, how did
you do it, mate?

How did you carve out
a proper life for yourself,

where everywhere you go,
there´s someone trying

to put their finger on you?

I mean, I´m not looking
for the dosh or the birds

or the fast lane no more.

Do you know what
I´m looking for?

I´m looking for trust.

You´re looking for
a smack in the mouth.

Go for a walk, Max.

I always get the blame
for everything, don´t I?

Just a walk.

Henry and Margaret have been
really good to us, Steve.

I like the life we have now.

Oh, you don´t think I actually
did it, do you?

Either way, you ended up
back down the nick.

Tell him to go.

Hello, this is
Bailey´s Laundry.

Will you please leave a message
after the tone,

or call back during shop hours?
Thank you.

This is Tina.

I´m not coming back, Alec,
so please don´t try to find me.

Tina?

Tina

Uh.

One sorrel soup, two fish
minced, two pie, one sole.

Right.

One tart with cheese.

Two policemen...
one fool!

Oh, no.

Steven Jeffrey Turner.

Yeah, I think
we know that.

The back door, please,
gentlemen.

Look, chef, you know

I´m really sorry
about this.

Look, I need help
in this kitchen.

That´s what I pay you for.

If you can´t keep your past

from interfering
with my present,

I suggest you find
employment elsewhere.

Sorry.

Something terrible
is happening.

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares, Margaret.

Hello, Alec.

Let´s go over here.

Ah, the very man!

Are you any good at, uh,
pitting cherries, Alec?

Henry?

What an old chump.
You could do something.

No, no,
you´re not bothered.

No fool like an old fool.
Is that it?

Is that what you
all think, eh?

Silly old sod
has got himself dumped?

Oh.

Maybe you´re right.

I´m sorry, Henry, but --

I know -- you´ve got to go home
and kill your house guest.

Off you go then.

You should be in bed.

Linda, think you could
see him home?

Uh...

Go on, go on.
It´s all right.

Need some help?

Yeah. Quick.
Thanks.

No, Margaret!
You´ve got to caress it.

You´re supposed to persuade
the cream to thicken.

Don´t beat the living daylights
out of it.

It´s may come
as a shock to you,

but there are some things
in life

more important than food!

There´s your cream.

I hope it keeps you
warm at night.

Two more covers.

You´re not going
anywhere.

Something has got
to be done.

Good night, Mr. Crabbe.

Good night, John.

And thanks,
for all the hard work.

I only came up
for my keys.

So, they let you out then?

They made me walk back.

Gave me a chance
to think a few things over.

I let you down, chef.
You don´t deserve that.

You gave me a chance
and I guess I blew it.

Here´s the keys
to the restaurant.

It´s a shame ´cause I really
liked working here.

That sorbet was a stinker.

Ah, it wasn´t far off.

No.

It´s a delicate structure --
a sorbet --

a miss is as good
as a mile.

It wasn´t me,
you know, chef?

I know that.

My long and repetitive
experience as a policeman

has taught me that things
don´t sort themselves out.

Lock up before you go,
won´t you?

You must be really worried?

How can you tell?

Well, you left
your calculator on.

Did I hear Steve come in?

Just the boys
from the local nick,

putting him through
the usual hoops, I expect.

I wish they could have done it
on his day off.

You´re exhausted,
aren´t you?

I wasn´t any help.
I´m sorry.

It´s Monday tomorrow.
No customers to worry about.

We´re all right, aren´t we?

Of course.

We´ve just got different
interests, that´s all.

And thank God, too,
because my math is terrible.

Mind you -- I can still
put 2 and 2 together.

Now...that note that was found
in Tina´s pocket,

what did it say again?

"I can´t live
without you."

Linda?

Oh, I wonder what
I´m knocking off now?

He keeps saying it´s not him,
but they´re both little jobs

that he would have pulled off
like that, in the past.

Ah, this is doing my head in.

Yeah, your head
and my menus.

Of course, ahem, there is
one thing you could try.

Tempt him, see if he bites.

Then if he does,
make sure he gets caught

by a police officer.

Oh, chef, I can´t set him up
to be sent down.

Oh, come on.

You must know at least one
police officer that might --

I say might -- just let him off
with a severe caution.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.

Right, but, please --
do use your imagination.

I don´t want to have to replace
all that glass

in the back door again.

Hello, Linda.

Morning, Henry.

Sleep all right?

Ready?

Hmm, we´re a bit short
in root vegetables.

Think you could stop
at Henderson´s?

Henry?
Only if there´s time,
of course.

Oh, not again?

Alec?

There´s a coincidence.

We were just coming
to see you.

Sorry these are a day late.
Hope you understand why.

No charge, of course.

Oh, don´t be stupid.
You can´t afford that.

I´ll be the judge of that.

Well, that´s not what
you said to me on Friday

when I had a handful
of soggy receipts.

Well, things change...
So I´m told.

Life goes on...
So I´m told.

Think you´ll find
I´m a bit more business-minded

in future, Margaret.

There´s two more bags
in the van.

I´ll go and fetch ´em in.

Give him a hand, Henry.

I don´t need a hand.

I´ll just check
the bookings.

I´ll just feed the chickens.

You just have.

Then I´ll sit
and I´ll tell them a story --

I´m not going back
in there.

Talk to him.

We´ve known each a long time,
haven´t we?

Too long to go around
the houses.

Fair enough.

I thought I might be able
to help you find Tina.

Everyone thinks
I´m a love-sick old fool

who´s just got dumped,
don´t they?

Well, I think you´re a fine,
good, honest man.

And it´s not like you
to give up.

Now, I don´t want
to interfere.

But if there´s any way
I can help...

You know, just ´cause someone
sent her a note saying

"I can´t live without you"

doesn´t mean to say she has
to feel the same way.

The more I think about this,
the less I like it.

Thanks.

She came up for two days,
then left.

Simple.

But, uh, she has visited
several times recently?

For a bit of shopping together.
We´re old friends.

She´s not in any kind
of trouble, is she, Janey?

No.

You see, ahem,
You may think

you´re protecting her, but, uh,
we think she may be in danger.

She´s been seeing this bloke
in Middleton.

Alec.

She thought he was going
to ask her to marry him.

I mean, she wanted to.

But there was this other bloke
she used to see up here.

Um...Rick something.

I never met him.

Tina dumped him
´cause he made her life hell.

But then, he couldn´t stand

the thought
of her seeing another man.

I sort of covered for her --

said she was with me
when she wasn´t.

Where can we find this Rick?

Moves around a lot --
rented places.

She always found him
through work.

He´s a mini-cabber.

I always thought

I was helping her --
I really did.

Thanks very much.

Any luck?

Well, they had a Rick
working for them two years ago.

He died at the wheel.

Oh, heart attack?

No, they said
he was just old.

Hello, is Rick about?

He´s not here.

Oh.
Who wants him?

Um, friends of Tina.

Tina who?

Uh, Tina --

it´s okay,
we´ll pop back later.

Catch him then.

Crabbe´s given me notice,

and the filth are going to keep
picking me up anyway.

You get to the point
where you might as well

do what you´re accused of.

Welcome back to
the real world, old mate.

Takings aren´t kept
in the building

since they got burgled.

He hides ´em for the night,

and she banks ´em
in the morning.

Where´d they stash it then?

In the chicken hut.

Crabbe locks the door,

but I can leave the flap
for the run unlocked.

Be no problem to you, that,
the Cat Flap Kid.

Yeah, well...yeah, well, there
is a problem actually.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Um... I mean,
it´s nothing serious.

But, I mean...well, I mean,
the thing is,

I´ve got a thing
about chickens.

I need a cab to find
my wallet.

No. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

No, look -- "I lost my wallet
in a cab."

And I´ll leave my address --

John, this is important.

You can remember
15 orders

without even writing
them down.

Yes, well,
I´m used to that.

Look, we will have one "lost
my wallet in a cab yesterday,"

and one "driver´s description."

Then we will have
one "needed desperately,"

followed by one
"driver´s address," right?

Why didn´t you put it
like that in the first place?

You´ll learn
to love me again, Tina.

´Cause if you don´t,
the next time,

it won´t be his windows.

You´ll love me
like you did before.

You are mine!

And I´m going to put an end
to this shit!

I´ll teach that bastard
to send arseholes

looking for you.

Don´t
touch him!

No!

You´re not happy
about this, are you?

Well, I´m just wondering why
I shouldn´t just call

the local station and hand
the whole thing over to them?

Do you think
it´s that serious?

Well, it´s tempting
to think it isn´t.

But our Mr. Rick gave himself
away very easily,

and people that do that
are often the most dangerous.

You won´t like this.

She doesn´t know
where he lives.
Hmm.

It´s somewhere
on the Oakmead Road

was as close
as she could get.

Oh, well, that´s
all open farmland.

There can only be, what,
three cottages

between Bostock
and Oakmead.

Jump in.

Margaret?

Tina?

Tina?!

Margaret?!

For heaven´s sake,
keep back!

Help!

I´ll try the door!

Alec! He´s got a gun!

Silly old man.

Old enough to be
her father, hmm?!

What would my Tina
want with you?

You´ve made a proper nuisance
of yourself.

You´re just a filthy
old pervert.

I need to teach you
a lesson, hmm?

Don´t I?!

It´s not right...

Trying to steal
another man´s woman.

It´s no good, Rick.

Shut up.

Just give me the gun.

Shut it!

What are you going to do?
We can´t stay in here forever.

We can sort this out.

No!

Look, we can

find Tina together --
we can talk to her.

Don´t want you near her!

Don´t want anyone
near her!

Giving her bloody,
stupid ideas!

There wasn´t no problem when it
was just me and her.

That´s how it´s got to be.
Me and...

Her and me.

Right.

Police marksmen
are coming right now.

I think you ought
to get her out of here.

I want Tina!

Tina!

Tina, stop there.

Henry, be careful.

It´s all right, Margaret.

I don´t think he´ll hurt me,
Mr. Crabbe.

No, but it´s a chance

we can´t afford to take,
Tina, now, please.

Just walk backwards with me,
very slowly, all right?

No, no...

Tina?

Alec needs me.

Tina, look, all right.

I´ll go with you. Okay.

Rick?

Rick?

Who´s that?
This is Mr. Crabbe.

He runs that restaurant I was
telling you about.

Did ya?

Yeah, I´ve laid on...

something very special for you
both tonight.

Why?

To celebrate...us getting
back together.

Candlelight.

Champagne.

What about you and him, huh?!

That was just a little game,
wasn´t it, Mr. Bailey?

It was just a little game...

to see how much you love me.

And you do love me,
don´t you?

Of course, I love you.

And I love you.

Let´s go with
Mr. Crabbe then.

Yeah?

We are together...

Aren´t we?

Tina!

It´s over. It´s over.

Tina?!

Rick, crying: No!
No, Tina?!

You could have been
killed.

Well, it wasn´t
the first time.

I wasn´t there
the other times.

What would I have done if
you´d been killed?

Dug a very big hole
and learned how to cook.

Not funny.

No, it´s not funny.

I´m sorry.

Sorry about your free week.

And the menus.

Well, there´s still
a few days left.

Besides, there´s more important
things in life than food.

To us.

For a while there,
I thought I´d lost you.

Look, I don´t need holidays
and clothes and presents.

I don´t need things, Alec.
It was just you, I wanted.

One last gift.

You will, won´t you?

Something wrong with the food?

I´m sure it´s delicious,
Henry.

It´s just
my judgement´s off.

Don´t you think
he deserves to know

after everything
that´s happened?

You know?

Educated guess,
phone call.

What?

I can´t marry you, Alec,
because I...

I am married to Rick.

Is that all?

It wasn´t a proper marriage,

and when I left, he just
kept following me.

I thought he´d given up
and then he found me here.

So, why didn´t you tell me?

Because you kept on saying
how perfect I was.

And because he said
he´d hurt you.

He won´t hurt anyone now.

Excuse me.

S-s-sit.

Stay.

Oh, my God.

Steve?

Well, well, well.

If it isn´t Steve and Linda´s
little friend?

Did they tell you I was a copper
as well as a cook?

Look, I was...I was trying
to go legit.

I mean, I had a little market
stall and everything.

I...I was driven back
to crime.

I´m a victim
of the recession, me.

No, no!

Don´t touch it, please?

Grotesque things, aren´t they,

when you get close to them?

With those sharp, pecky beaks
and those great big toenails?

They can do you

an awful amount of damage.

Most people don´t know that...
do they?

Excuse me, excuse me,
Mr. Crabbe?

What is it now?

Can you get me out of here,
please?

Don´t worry, there´ll be
a couple of police officers

along in a minute --
they´ll help you.

Oh, and by the way, Max?
You´re nicked.

Ooh.

I thought you said you were
going to let him off, chef?

Did I? I don´t remember
saying that.

You got any proof?

Where´s your witnesses?
Any statements?

At least this way,
I can be perfectly safe

in the knowledge that that young
man will not be interrupting

the smooth flow
of my kitchen.

And don´t worry --
they don´t put you away

for too long
for robbing hen houses.

Letter of the law, eh?

Oh, yes.

And don´t think I wouldn´t do
the same for you, matey.

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