All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation s07e12e13 One Last Ride.eng

Which brings us to 2005...

The Circle Park renovation was complete,

and a young man
named Thomas Haverford

was still two years away
from getting hired.

Perhaps we could skip ahead
and just hit the highlights?

I mean, I planned
a comprehensive retrospective,

but I guess I can just focus
on the really important moments.

Ah! The debate about getting
a pod-based coffee machine.

Garry and I wrote a little
musical number about that,

and it goes a little something
like thi--

Can't we just quickly
shake hands,

pretend we like each other,

- and get out of here?
- I'm all for that.

No, April, Ron,
we need to celebrate everything

that we've done together
as a group.

This is our last day here!

Who knows when we'll all be
together like this again?

Excuse me.
Hi.

There's a swing in a park

near my house that's been broken
for about three months.

Is it possible
to get that fixed?

Anything is possible
if you follow your dreams.

Johnny Karate.

Except getting a swing fixed.

None of us
actually work here anymore.

Come back in two hours
when the office is open.

- Thank you.
- Wait.

Actually, sir, we can help.

We can and we will because
when we used to work here,

helping people was our job.

Forget about these old stories.

Let's make a new one.

Let's fix a swing.

One last ride
for the Parks and Rec gang.

Who's in?

All: Yeah.

Come on, Garry,
you're the mayor now.

Have some dignity.

[Triumphant music]

Sync by Alice | Thank you honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

Okay, so what
is our first step

on our quest to help this man?

Does anyone remember?

A parks and recreation
equipment requisition form.

Correct.
Five points for Hufflepuff.

Well,
everything's paperless now,

and none of us has a log-in,
so can't access the computers.

Hang on.

I have one right here,
thanks to Leslie's scrapbook,

"Thanks Form the Memories!"

Oh, I knew those scrapbooks
were gonna come in handy.

You came through
like you always do.

God, I'm gonna miss you.

Your confidence,
your joie de vivre,

that crazy story about you
getting kicked out of En Vogue.

Technically I kicked them out.

When do you leave for Seattle?

As soon as I get
my local real estate license.

I'm married to a teacher,
and I love the man,

but I also love diamond watches.

Well, whatever happens,

I know you are gonna live
an exciting and full life.

3,400 square feet,
a beautiful view of Puget Sound,

and if you look out this window,

you can watch them build
the new Space Haystack

around the Space Needle.

Wow.

I-I can hardly see
the needle anymore.

I know.
It's kind of the point.

So what are we thinking?

Wow.

It sold in two hours?

You cannot beat
the Seattle real estate market.

I think it's all that coffee
and legal marijuana

has people wanting to buy houses
quickly and irrationally.

Mm.

But the giant commission check

has me thinking
about Donna-Joe Adventure Quest.

Ooh, where are we going?

Well, it can't beat last year.

I mean, Middle Korea,
so beautiful.

Here's my idea.

- The Amazon.
- Oh.

Three weeks of the best
and most expensive places

South America has to offer.

I love it.

Honestly, with the way
work is going,

I just need this right now.

The school cut the math club
and math.

They just don't teach math
anymore.

Aw, my poor little
do-gooder teacher baby.

Why don't we cuddle up
on the couch, watch a movie,

and then maybe later
I'll wear that little red thing?

Yes.
The red thing.

Here, let me get this.

[beep]

Call Satan's niece.

Hey, what do you want?

And this is me DJ-ing
a boat party in Venezuela,

kind of reminded me of the
two weeks you and I spent there.

Oh, yeah, that happened.

- Yeah, it did.
- April.

What are you doing here?

- Babe, have a seat.
- What's going on?

Recently I was thinking
for the millionth time

how lucky
I am to have found you,

so I've decided
to treat yo' self.

You're gonna buy me
a bunch of leather handbags?

Donna is going
to take some of the money

you usually use on your trips

and establish
an education program

through the foundation
I work for.

It's called "Teach Yo' Self,"
and you and the other teachers

will get money
for after-school programs,

for music, art, math,
whatever you want.

Baby, this is really generous,
but I love our trips,

and honestly it's your money.

You should spend it
how you want.

This is what I want.

I've had a lot of adventures.

I single-handedly started
that doorknockers earring trend.

I came in ninth
in Italy's Got Talent.

- Yeah.
- I served on a NASCAR pit crew.

I want a new kind of adventure,
and I want to take it with you.

Okay, I feel like it's time
for me to get out of here.

[Leslie sighs]

What is this mess?

Why are you all in my office?

We are on one last mission
to help the people of Pawnee.

Craig, can you sign
the requisition form?

It'd speed things up.

You know, Craig,
when I first met you, I thought,

"There's a man
who loves his job."

And then I thought,
"Oh, wow, he's intense."

And then I thought,
"Oh, no, he's insane.

That person is psychotic,
and I need to call the police."

Yeah, that's usually the way
it goes.

But I just think
you've come so far,

and I'm so glad
that we are leaving

the Parks Department
in your hands.

[applause]

Nice crooning, buddy.

The gentleman
over by the bar there

sent you over
this glass of wine

and his business card.

Okay, so as you all know,
Tom's Bistro...

Okay, fine.

We are gathered here today

to join Craig Middlebrooks
and Typhoon Montalban

in holy matrimony.

I don't know about this.
I'm very scared.

Oh, just relax,
you nervous Nelly.

You're right.

We love each other,

and the tax break
is substantial.

Will the best man
please present the rings?

Good luck, you two.

Typhoon, my love,
happy anniversary.

Do you have any regrets?

Not one.
Not a single one.

Do you have any regrets?

Are you kidding?
Thousands.

Most recently this trout!

[chuckles]

Okay, April and Andy,
I need to file this.

Would anyone like to accompany
me to the fourth floor?

One last journey
to the weirdest place on earth?

- Yes.
- Shotgun!

We--we're just taking
the elevator.

I get to push buttons.
I called it.

Oh--

- He called it.
- Yeah, I know, I heard.

Ethel Beavers,
we need this filed, please.

We've gone digital.

Get with the times,
you Luddite.

Man,
of all the places in Pawnee,

I'm gonna miss the fourth floor
the most.

The disturbing murals,
the ominous lighting...

the creepy people.

Hi, April.

I'm gonna miss the food
in Pawnee.

Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut,

and most of all,
I'm gonna miss you, Leslie.

Aw, Andy,
all of those things,

including me, will still
be with you in Washington.

That is a beautiful sentiment.

It--I just want to say

that we are about to embark
on an amazing adventure,

and whatever happens,

just know that Ben and I
are always there for you.

[softly grunting]

Agent Macklin, I need you.

Some thieves
are trying to steal

the legendary
Snakehole Sapphire.

What the--
No!

That sapphire has the power
to activate

the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Damn it, Macklin!
I love it when you take charge.

Make love to me, you fool,
you animal!

[doorbell rings]
[grunts]

Okay, rain-check that,
all right?

They're here.

All: Trick or treat!

Oh!
Look at them!

Here you go,
you little monsters.

I love this.
You guys are the best.

[door closes]
My love, we have to go.

Just put all the candy in a bowl
or something.

What's wrong?

- Did you eat all the candy?
- No.

- Did you?
- Yes.

But that's not what's wrong.

It's just, seeing all those kids
out there...

Babe...

I want to put a babe
in you, babe.

Andy, you know
where I stand on this.

Yes, I would love
all the awesome stuff

my body would go through.

I mean,
if all it meant was puking

and getting weird stretch marks
and veins everywhere,

then sign me up.

But at the end, we've brought
a child into the world.

- That's disgusting.
- No.

They wipe all
of the disgusting stuff

off of it immediately.

We're gonna be late
for dinner.

- Okay.
- Let's go.

- Hey.
- Come on in.

Hey, always nice to see
Janet Snakehole

and Burt Macklin in the mix.

What are you guys dressed as?

Oh, I'm Sandra Dee O'Connor.
Get it?

Sandra Dee
plus Sandra Day O'Connor?

- Who's Sandra Dee?
- Who's Sandra Day O'Connor?

Forget it.

And I am the Lamplighter,

a character
from my new board game sequel,

"Cones of Dunshire:
Winds of Tremorrah."

Gameplay Magazine called it
"punishingly intricate."

Hey, where are the kids at?

I want to say hi and wrestle
all three of them at once.

Oh, they're trick-or-treating
in Georgetown with some friends.

It's just us grown-ups tonight,
no kids at all.

Hey, Andy, why don't you
give me a hand in the kitchen?

So what do you need
a hand with?

Oh, no, I just thought
you might want to talk.

Whoa.
Dude, that's really slick.

Oh, man, that's some
secret agent stuff right there.

So April's still
on the fence about kids, huh?

Yeah,
and I'm freaking out, man.

I want kids so bad.

You know,
yesterday I was at the park,

and I saw this group
of eight-year-olds laughing,

playing, having a good time.

I almost started crying.

Granted, I'd just face-planted
on my rollerblades.

That's what
they were laughing at.

Sure.

- All right, go ahead.
- What?

You're gonna lecture me about
how Andy and I should have kids.

You're gonna be like,
"They're so great.

"They change your life,
and yes, they drive you nuts,

"but it's all worth it
for the beauty and the majesty

"and the glory of their little
faces in the morning.

Blah, blah, blah, and barf."

You know why it's so unfair?

Because you guys got so lucky.

You had sex one time,
and you had three kids,

and they're all, like,
smart and great and healthy,

and now your lives are perfect.

But our life
is pretty perfect already.

And you know what, kids act
the opposite of their parents.

That's why your kids
are so cool.

But Andy and I are cool already,

so our kids will be,
like, really lame and weird.

I'm sorry.
I just don't know what to do.

Please tell me what to do.
What do I do?

It's not about trying
to make your life perfect.

Nobody's lives are perfect.

You have kids
because you and Andy are a team

and you want to bring in
some new team members.

So you think we should?

I don't know
if you should have kids.

I really don't.

But I do like your team.

All right, Ms. Ludgate,
we're getting close.

Babe, you look
more beautiful right now

than I have ever seen you.

Wow.

Just your luck that you're going
into labor on Halloween.

Can I get a warm towel
to get that makeup off?

No! I want it on!
That's the whole point.

I put the makeup on
after I went into labor.

Whatever blows your skirt up.

Okay, you ready to push?

Wait, no.
Babe, my birth mix.

[Monster Mash plays]

Here comes a contraction.
Are you ready?

Okay, I'm ready.
Let's do this.

-
It was a graveyard smash
-
He did the mash

Burt Macklin Junior?

Mm, we need a Halloween angle.

How about...
Demon Spawn Baby Satan Dwyer?

Oh, I like that.
Yeah.

Or maybe

Burt Snakehole Ludgate
Karate Dracula Macklin

Demon Jack-o-Lantern Dwyer?

We call him "Jack"
for short.

Hey. Hi.

Oh, I want to scream,

but I don't want
to wake up my godchild.

I'm assuming
it's my godchild, right?

- We can talk about it later.
- Congrats, guys.

I know it came
unexpectedly early,

but pretty cool he was born
in Pawnee.

Where do I put these?

I have so many presents,
it's weird.

[whispers] Yes!
Oh, for the baby?

Just put them over there.

- What's his name?
- Jack.

[exhales deeply]
Oh, that's good.

Welcome to the team,
little guy.

Take this down to maintenance.

I know just where to take it,
Ethel,

and I know just the person
who should accompany me.

I'm a little busy right now.

Not you, Kyle.

How many times
did you and I

deliver a form to maintenance
just like this?

Oh, so many great conversations,

bonding and mentoring moments.

It seems only right that we make
this journey one final time.

- What was that, boo-boo?
- Nothing.

Oh!

Tommy-T and Sexy Lexy Knope.

Ooh, what are
you two bad larrys up to?

Well, this is our last day
in Pawnee,

and we have one last problem
to fix.

Hold up.
You're leaving?

For truth?

I am gonna miss you so much.

What's going on?
You're not injured?

Uh, yeah, I'm injured.

I got a terminal case of

"Get me to the front of the line
at Six Flags"!

Both: Shaaa-boosh!

It's a winter wonderland.

I'm gonna be so sad
to see you go.

Will you do me
one final kindness?

Will you pretend to be my wife
for an insurance scam,

but then we
fall in love for real?

Also, can I have a pair
of your gym socks?

No, wait,
it's not for anything weird.

It's just a fetish I have.

- Jean-Ralphio...
- Yeah.

Although I truly hope
that I never see you again,

I do wish you
a long and happy life.

Today, we say good-bye
to Jean-Ralphio Saperstein.

As per his last will
and testament,

we will now listen
to his favorite song,

Bend Over by Lil Jon,
featuring Tyga.

Ooh, okay.

Okay, they bought it.
They bought it.

- Do you have the insurance money?
- No doubt.

No doubt.
Let's hit it, bro.

Time to start
a casino in...

[deep voice]

both: Stan!

Jean-Ralphio?

- Go! Tajikistan is off!
- Go, go, go, go!

Tajikistan is off!
Tajikistan is off!

So... Tom and I
have a swing to fix.

Let's go.

Leslie,
I've always loved you.

I know.

Oh, man!

I forgot that maintenance
was closed on Fridays.

What would
our last ride be

without one more
bureaucratic snafu?

Don't worry, boo-boo, Tommy will
solve this problem no sweat.

Can I just say, Tom,
you have accomplished so much.

You have come so far.
Now you're so successful.

- Don't forget well-dressed.
- Yes.

And well-dressed.

I am so very proud of you.

Thanks, Leslie.

I'm proud of me too.

Nice crooning, buddy.

Uh, the gentleman
by the bar there

sent you over
this glass of wine...

and his business card.

Okay, so as you all know,
Tom's Bistro

has been presented with
a huge expansion opportunity.

I don't want to make a decision
until I hear

from my senior advisory board.

So is this a good idea?

- Accounting Nerd?
- I'm a congressman, Tom.

Can you at least call me "Ben"?

No can do, Accounting Nerd.

We all knew you
before you were a big shot.

Let's keep the whining
to a minimum.

Well, there are always
gonna be risks

when you open new restaurants,
but you've done your homework.

All the numbers line up.

Side note:

I would again strongly recommend
adding calzones to the menu.

Ugh. The worst.
Ron?

It's a bold,
capitalistic gambit, son,

but nothing ventured,
nothing gained.

Regal Meagle?

Real estate is pretty cheap
right now.

If you're gonna do it,
this is a good time.

Okay, I'm doing it.

Over the next five years,

there's gonna be
20 Tom's Bistros across America.

Look out, world,
Tommy's about to blow up.

[explosion]

[English accent]
And blow up he did,

but not in the good way.

He lost everything.

Today, Tom Haverford
is broke, destitute,

and worst of all, swaggerless.

Tommy,
you got to stop watching this.

I can't tear myself away.

It's a whole documentary
about my failures.

That you made.

I had to.

I have to remember every tiny,
awful aspect of this.

I lost everything, Lucy--

The franchises,
most of my money.

I had to sell
my pocket square collection.

What are people's eyes
gonna be drawn to?

Look, you had a tough break.

The stock market tanked,
credit dried up.

Who could have predicted
that the country

would run out of beef?

You just got to move on.

That's the problem, though.

I've gone bust in the past,

but it was because
I did something reckless.

This time
I was smart and careful,

and I still went broke.

What do I do now?

Well,
you and I are gonna be fine,

and you'll come up
with a new idea.

You always do.

I once started
an entertainment company.

It failed in four months.

I opened
a clothing rental store.

I built a restaurant empire.

They all failed,

but the story of America isn't
about second or third chances.

It's about 4th, 5th,
6th, 20th, 50th chances.

That's how long it took me
to get where I am today:

Best-selling author of...

Failure:
An American Success Story.

[applause]

As you know
if you've read the book,

I've outlined seven different
types of successful people.

You can be an Andy,
an April,

a Ben, a Leslie,

a Ron, a Donna,

or my personal favorite, a Tom.

But what do we definitely
not want to be?

All: A Garry!

That's right.
Do not be a Garry.

Oh, he's talking about me!
[laughs]

Hey.

Hey, thanks so much
for coming, guys.

Are you kidding?

Tom, this is incredible.

A best-selling book,
a 40-city tour?

Well, I couldn't have
done it without you.

Well, the book's
called Failure.

- I don't know how to take that.
- I'm serious.

You guys
have always supported me.

Here, I inscribed you a copy.

Oh.

"When I think of success,
I think of you.

"You are a true inspiration
to me.

I love you,
Tom Haverford."

Oh, sorry, that's actually
for Kendrick Lamar.

Here's yours.

"Best wishes."

And I mean every word of it.

So how are we gonna
fix this swing?

Hold a public forum,

have a rally, smash that door,
and do some looting?

Actually, I think
there's a simpler solution.

We just need the help of
the most powerful man in Pawnee.

Jim, how the heck are you?
Yeah, look.

I hate to bother you, but I'm
here with my two best friends,

Leslie Knope
and Tom Haverford...

- [laughs]
- Shh!

And we need the first floor
maintenance room open.

Mm. Okay, great, and best
to Louise and the girls.

Okay, bye-bye.

- You guys are all set.
- Thank you, Mayor Gergich.

You really saved our butts.

I am so happy
that you get to be mayor.

Are you enjoying yourself?

Oh, are you kidding me?

Leslie, I know
that this is purely ceremonial,

and it'll be over
in just a couple of weeks,

but I just don't know
how my life

could get any better than this.

Oh!

In a turn of events
both shocking and unexpected,

interim mayor Garry Gergich
was officially elected today,

thanks to a massive
write-in campaign.

Mayor Gergich,
what are your plans

for your first actual term?

Oh, jeez, you know what?

I have no idea, Perd.

I mean, this is so crazy.

I just hope I do a good job,

and I promise
I'm gonna try my best.

And faithfully serve the people
of Pawnee, Indiana.

As president of City Council,
I, Councilwoman Brandi Maxxxx,

star of more than 11,000 adult
films in the last two years,

officially declare Garry Gergich
Mayor of Pawnee, Indiana,

for the fourth time.

Thank you, Pawnee!

Okay, great.

Garry Gergich,
you are now mayor,

again, for the tenth time,
proving conclusively

that in these corporate states
of America,

it's the entrenched powers
who hold all the cards.

Thank you,
Councilman Morris.

Thank you, Pawnee!

Happy birthday,
my sweet, sweet husband.

We all love you so much.

I have had the perfect life.

I have had
the perfect marriage...

- Oh! [Giggles]
- The perfect children,

and the perfect grandchildren
and great-grandchildren!

And I just want you to know
how much I love you.

Okay, come on, everybody,
say, "Gergich!"

All: Gergich!
[camera shutter clicks]

Mayor Garry Gergich
died peacefully in his sleep

on his 100th birthday,

holding the hand
of his beloved wife, Gayle.

Man, Gayle looks amazing.

Yeah, yeah.
I know.

He will now be given

the Indiana Notary Society's
highest honor,

the 21-Stamp Salute.

Oh, rest in peace, friend.

They spelled his name wrong
on the tombstone.

- Eh, close enough.
- Eh.

It's time to go.

Okay.
How's this for a headline?

"Still Swinging: Parks Gang
Reunites for One Last Bang."

That's a little dirty.

Well, it's a headline, Shauna.
Sex sells.

Knope,

make yourself useful and hand me
that crescent wrench.

Oh,
not bad craftsmanship, Ron.

It is perfect craftsmanship.

I calculate the cost
of my labor at $38.

I can send the bill to you?

So you think you're
gonna stick around Pawnee?

Oh, I imagine so.

Not sure where
I would go, really.

Well, we're gonna
come back here a lot.

You know what they say.

Don't be a stranger.

Despite the recent
financial crisis,

Very Good Building Company
will finish fiscal year 2022

in excellent financial shape,
thanks in large part

to the stewardship
of your chairman, Ron Swanson.

Mr. Chairman, would you like
to say a few words?

I resign as chairman,
effective immediately.

Uh, would you
like to explain why?

No.

Should we discuss
your retirement package?

Just give me whatever
the board thinks is fair.

- Agreed.
- Best of luck.

Don't get emotional, Vaughn.
You're embarrassing yourself.

What just happened?

Ron, your family is beautiful.

They're a handsome bunch.

Diane and I are especially proud
because Ivy was just accepted

at Stanford University.

Wow.

Yeah, it's gonna cost
an arm and a leg.

You take my advice?

I did.
Thank you, again.

I sold some of my gold

and officially diversified
my portfolio.

Congratulations.

You now own 51%
of the Lagavulin Distillery.

Pleasure doing business
with you.

And with you.

All: Sl?inte.

So, Ron,
what brings you here?

I am at something
of a personal crossroads.

Yes!
I love personal crossroads.

I once made the mistake of not
talking to you at such a moment,

and I do not intend
to repeat that error.

Well, let's take a walk.

There's a cute,
little park nearby.

I suppose I had simply

accomplished everything
I wanted to,

and there seemed to be
little point in continuing.

So what do you want to do now?

Well, that's the problem.

I'm not sure.

My kids are growing up.

My days in an office
feel like a waste.

I would like to turn
my attention to something...

that would make me feel useful,

but for the life of me,
I cannot figure out what.

And there are not many people--

I mean, we were workplace
proximity acquaintances

for many years,
and so I thought--

I thought maybe...

Say no more, you big softie.

I'm gonna spend
every waking moment

trying to figure this out
for you.

You want to stay for dinner?

- We're having steak.
- Mm?

But we're also hosting
several members

of the House Subcommittee
on Foreign Affairs.

I'll take that steak to go,
please and thank you.

Hey, there you are.
Thanks for meeting me here.

Well, if you'd have
held them here

instead of that conference room,

I would have come
to more meetings.

I got to tell you, Leslie,
establishing this national park

right next to Pawnee
is quite an accomplishment.

This is a fine piece of land
you saved.

Thank you, Ron.

You want to run it?

The superintendent
of Bryce Canyon retired,

and I convinced
the superintendent of this park

to transfer,
shuffled a few things around.

The point is someone needs
to take care of this place now.

Thought it should be you.

I...

Well, first of all,
I would be working

for the federal government.

Your job would be
to walk around the land alone,

you'd live in the same town
you've always lived in,

you'd work outside,
you'd talk to bears.

Next argument?

There must be dozens of people
gunning for this job.

I wouldn't want you
to ruffle any feathers.

Am I even qualified?

Well, a few people
might be annoyed,

but they'll get over it.

And as far
as your qualifications,

you're Ron Swanson.

Stop being a dummy and accept.

- When do I start?
- Oh, today.

I already accepted for you.

I still remember
how to forge your signature.

Let's go meet your staff.

Pawnee National Park rangers,

this is Ron Swanson, your new
superintendent and boss.

Rangers, my name
is Ronald Ulysses Swanson.

Your job and mine
is to walk this land

and make sure no one harms it.

If you show up on time,
speak honestly,

and treat everyone
with fairness,

we will get along just fine.

Though hopefully not too fine,

as I'm not looking
for any new friends.

End of speech.

Well said.

Thank you, Leslie.

You're welcome, Ron.

Okay.

Time to go to work.

[Buddy by Willie Nelson]

Well, I have to make
a couple more adjustments.

Babe,
I don't want to seem dramatic,

but I've just reconsidered
every decision

that we've made
over the last year,

and I think we need
to stay in Pawnee forever.

- I know.
- [sighs]

But we have to pick up
the kids,

and we have a flight to catch.

But when is this group
of people

ever going to be
all together again?

That's all I want,

all of these people in
the same place at the same time.

It'll happen someday.

What's gonna happen
between now and then?

A lot,
and it's all gonna be great.

- You promise?
- I promise.

This is a nice house.

You say that every time
we're here.

I'm just trying
to distract you,

so you don't have
a nervous breakdown.

I think I am past that point.

You don't have to worry
about me anymore.

Hey, folks, welcome back.

Great to have so many
good friends and colleagues.

We're looking forward to a great
conversation and a good dinner.

As usual, there's only
one rule: No shop talk.

So if you want
to discuss politics,

you're gonna have to wait
until after dinner.

I'm looking at you, Leslie.

Okay, well, as long as we get
to play charades later.

- [chuckles]
- Okay.

Last time we played charades,
she spent 3 1/2 hours here.

You're just mad
'cause you lost.

Oh, come on.

Damn!
That food was good.

I've said it before,
and I'll say it again--

Joe Biden knows his way
around a seafood risotto.

You've said that before?

Anyway, the point is, yes,
I do like working at Interior.

I love it, but I'm always
looking for new challenges.

Why do you ask?

There's a rumor
the governor of Indiana

isn't going to run again,
and my friends at the DNC

are very interested in you
as a candidate.

- For governor of Indiana?
- Mm-hmm.

Someone's been reading
my kindergarten dream journal.

So what do you think?

I'll call you next week,
and we can talk about it?

O-okay, great.

Well, this is exciting.

I'm gonna take this energy,

and I'm gonna go crush Joe Biden
in charades.

Dr. Jill, let's pick teams.

Oh.
Move.

Need the congressman.
This is time-sensitive.

Hey, Jen,
I didn't know you were here.

I'm everywhere.

You want to be
governor of Indiana?

What?

Colquitt's not gonna
run again.

It's a rumor for now,
but my gut says it's for real.

You're the perfect candidate.

Local hero,
state government experience,

blah-blah-blah-
blah-blah-blah-blah.

I mean,
the only potential problem

is that devastatingly nerdy
"Cones of Dunshire" thing.

Uh, that's a problem?

I'm sorry,

but it's the ninth-highest
selling multiplayer

figurine-based strategy
fantasy sequel game in history.

Please don't bail on me
because of what just happened.

Both: So...

I had a pretty interesting
conversation

with Janet from the DNC tonight.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

She said
that Governor Colquitt

might be stepping down,

and the DNC thinks
that I should run for governor.

Oh, God.
That... kind of sucks.

Really? Why?

No. I mean, that's--

That's amazing.

It's just, Jen Barkley kind of
approached me about running.

Oh!
Oh.

Well, I mean, obviously...

Right.
Yeah, no, no.

I mean, obviously...

Yeah, I mean, obviously...

Okay, pros of you
running for governor:

You would be a great governor,

we could make Pawnee
our home base,

kids could go to school
in Pawnee,

and it would be
a huge career move for you.

The pros of me running
for governor are the same thing.

- It's the same list.
- Right.

The only con of you running
would be

that I don't get to run
and vice versa.

Good.
So we've solved it.

[groans] Ugh.
Look.

We're going back
to Pawnee in a week.

Why don't we just
talk about it after that?

Good idea.

Hey, maybe we can drop by
the old stomping ground,

see how the Parks Department
has changed.

I love it.

Okay, are you ready?

No, but we don't have
a choice, do we?

[sighs]

Kids, dinner!

Hey, I'm gonna eat in my room
because I have to study.

Can we go to Bobby's house
to watch the game?

Hey, dude, stop.

- Did you finish your homework?
- Yes, all of it.

- Okay, don't forget to...
- That's mine.

- We'll be back by 8:00.
- Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.

- Bye.
- Okay, get your ice skates!

- You have a lesson tomorrow!
- Bye, Mom.

- Bye, Dad.
- Just-okay.

Bye.
[door closes]

- Want some broccoli?
- Ugh, no.

You know, now that I'm here,

it's giving me an idea
about this governor thing.

Maybe we need fresh eyes,
you know,

other people to weigh in.

We should talk to Ron or Tom
or April or Donna or Andy even.

- Sometimes he can be wise.
- Oh, good idea.

Let's call them.

Or you know what else
we could do?

Just talk to them in person.

All: Hey!

Surprise!

Oh, wow.

It's what you wanted, right,

everyone in the same room
at same time?

I can't believe you.

We're all here together
in the same room...

in this room.

I don't think
I could be happier right now.

Want to bet?

- Hi.
- Oh, Ann's here!

Ann.
Ann's here!

- Hi!
- Oh!

- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.

- How you doing?
- Oh, good.

- You guys, Ann's here.
- Aww.

- Should we move away from here?
- Yeah, yeah.

- This could go on for some time.
- Ohh!

Your hair looks amazing,
by the way.

You look like
a cartoon princess.

Oh, thank you! That's from the pills
I was telling you about.

I took some of those,

but I don't know,
they didn't do anything,

and they kind of upset
my stomach.

No, no, no.
You're supposed to crack them

and leave them on your hair
overnight, not eat them.

Oh, no.

Well, it's confusing
'cause they're delicious.

Because my first book
was such a smash,

I had to come up with
a new angle for the follow-up.

Then it hit me...
Failure 2.0: Failing to Fail.

- Love it.
- How's everything?

You properly treating yourself
out there in Seattle?

In a manner of speaking.

Joe and I spend most of our time
on the foundation.

[sighs]

I can't believe
you went nonprofit.

I mean, I love you.

You're one of my best friends,

but you have betrayed me
and everything we stand for.

- You've changed.
- Maybe you're right.

By the way, what time is it?

Oh, it looks like
it's half past spla-Dow!

Both: What?

I take it all back.

That's a lot of diamonds.

Give me, give me, give me,
give me, give me!

Hey, Oliver.
Hey, Leslie.

- Hello, Ann.
- Hi, April.

Your kids are,
like, surprisingly awesome.

Thank you.

Did you use an egg donor

or give Chris a hall pass
for a night?

Once again,
they are my biological children.

Once again,
I don't believe you.

Ann, you rainbow-infused
space unicorn.

Ann, you beautiful,
sassy mannequin come to life.

Ann, you opalescent tree shark.

Leslie, you are the master
of the metaphor.

Oh.

I recently compared her
to a nutrient-rich chia seed.

What's that thing
on your wrist?

Oh!

[electronic tones]

You are extremely healthy.

I do that literally
50 times a day.

Aren't you afraid that thing
might give you cancer?

Well, I am now.

Well, there he is.

Chip Traeger,
you old son of a gun.

Andy, it's Chris.

Is it?

Ha! Huh.

Hello, Jack.
Ron Swanson.

Strong handshake.

- Well done, you two.
- Thank you.

So are you
gonna have another one?

Um...

[gasps]

- Shh.
- Shh.

'Cause--
'cause he's sleeping?

How can you tell?

Oh,
it's a common misconception

that the Oculus
holds all of the power.

It's actually the Lamplighter.

Ann! Oh, my God!
It's happening.

It's totally happening.
Our kids are falling in love.

This is good.
Okay, remember.

If this is ever gonna work, we
have to pretend to disapprove.

Yeah, right, good call.

Hey!

- Leslie, no.
- Oh.

Who cares?

Ann Arbor, Michigan,
is literally the greatest city

that I have ever lived in,

but Pawnee is better,
so we're moving back.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna run admissions
at Indiana.

I'm trading Wolverines
for Hoosiers.

Well, you're getting
the better end of that deal.

Tom!

I took the quiz in your book
about what kind of person I am.

I'm a "Ron."

Ha!
I'm usually a "Tom,"

but sometimes I'm a "Donna."

Last time I took it,
I was a "Tom."

What?
No.

No, no, no!

Take it again!

I got to go recalibrate
the quiz.

So did anyone
have any insights

on our "running for governor"
situation?

I've been so busy
catching up with everyone,

I haven't had a chance
to ask them.

- Yeah, me neither.
- Okay, here's what I think.

I hate
when we're on opposite sides.

It stinks.

Plus, if one of us runs,
it doesn't mean we're gonna win.

Right, and it's not like
this is the only career option

for either of us.

So all that matters
is that we are good.

Right,
which is why I have an idea.

I think we should flip a coin.
I mean it.

Let's literally flip a coin,
because whoever runs

is gonna do a great job,
and whoever doesn't run

is gonna be right alongside
the other one,

offering advice and support
and whatever they need.

So it doesn't matter.

So let's flip a coin.

Okay, you, Leslie Knope,

the queen of planning and
binders and pro-and-con lists,

you want to leave this
to chance?

Yes, because whatever's next,
you and I are in it together.

So let's go tell everybody,
and they can participate,

and they can sign the coin,
and then, you know, the coin

will eventually make its way
into the Smithsonian.

Okay, everybody, gather around.

First of all, I just have to say
that all of you in the same room

at the same time
with your children here,

it's like
it's the greatest thing

that's ever happened
in the history of America.

And secondly,
Ben and I have an announcement.

Leslie's running
for governor of Indiana.

All: What?

Bully for you, Knope.

That's amazing.

Yeah, she got approached
by the DNC,

and they think she has
a great shot to win.

Indiana native,
supremely qualified,

and she wrote
that she wanted to be governor

in her kindergarten
dream journal.

Just makes sense.

So I'm running for governor.

All: Yeah!

Ben is gonna be
running my campaign

because he's a super genius,

and he's got a tight,
compact, little body

like an Italian sports car.

But right now I'd like
to make a toast.

When we worked here together,

we fought, scratched,
and clawed

to make people's lives
a tiny bit better.

That's what public service
is all about--

Small, incremental change
every day.

Teddy Roosevelt once said,

"Far and away, the best prize
that life has to offer

is a chance to work hard
at work worth doing."

And I would add
that what makes work worth doing

is getting to do it
with people that you love.

I started my career
more than 30 years ago

in the Parks and Recreation
Department

right here in Pawnee, Indiana.

I've had a lot
of different jobs

including two terms
as your governor,

and soon a new,
unknown challenge awaits me,

which to me, even now,
is thrilling

because I love the work.

Not to say that public service
isn't sexy,

because it definitely is,

but that's not why we do it.

We do it
because we get the chance

to work hard
at work worth doing...

alongside a team of people
we love.

So I thank those people
who've walked with me,

and I thank you for this honor.

Now, go find your team,
and get to work.

[applause]

In addition to Governor
Knope's honorary doctorate

from the School
of Public Policy,

in recognition of all she's done
for the people of Indiana,

the campus library
will henceforth bear her name.

[applause]

[under breath]
A [bleep] library?

Yeah, that should do it.
The swing is fixed.

- Yeah!
- All right.

Well, there you have it, sir.

Another problem solved
by the hard work

of dedicated public servants.

Okay, great.

Bye.

Yeah, that's about right.

Okay, well...

[sighs]

Hang on.

Gayle made me promise

to get a quick picture
just for old times' sake.

Good idea.
Garry had a good idea.

Oh, the lighting's all wrong.

I'm gonna
send you a glamour shot.

Just Photoshop me in later.

I'm not gonna show up
in that picture anyway

because I'm a vampire.

Hey, babe, for this picture,
should I be Burt Macklin,

Johnny Karate,
or my new character,

Sergeant Thunderfist, MD?

Where did you get that?

I found it in the sandbox.

Ew!

Go Macklin.

- Macklin's the hottest.
- Get on with it.

I can't hold this smile forever.
I look ridiculous.

Okay, hang on.
Okay.

[camera beeping]

You ready, babe?

Yes.

I'm ready.

[End of the Line
by Traveling Wilburys]

[laughter]

That is a series wrap
on Parks and Recreation.

Sync by Alice | Thank you honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0