All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation s06e11 New Beginnings.eng

Hello, I am Leslie Knope,
and I am here

to interview for
the Deputy Parks Director job.

Leslie, this is ridiculous.

It's your job.
Take it.

Well, I should have
to interview

- just like everyone else.
- Mm.

Now, if you'll see
on my resume,

I held the position
of deputy director

of parks and recreation
for almost ten years.

I know.
I was your boss.

I also walked you down the aisle
at your wedding.

Take the job
and leave me alone.

Come on, Ron.
Just interview me.

- No special treatment.
- Okay, fine.

What do you believe should be

the ultimate goal
of this department?

The ancient Greek version
of the park

was the agora,
a gathering place

where people
from all walks of life--

What are you writing?
Is it good?

What do you think is the best
use of our yearly budget?

It's right there in the name:

Maintaining our beautiful parks

and providing healthy
outdoor recreation.

I'm sorry, Ms. Knope,
the correct answer is

"Give it all back
to the taxpayers."

It seems you and I have

fundamentally different
philosophies.

Frankly, it's a miracle
we ever worked together

without killing each other.

- Good day.
- Ha, ha, okay.

No more goofing around.
Just tell me I have the job.

I have a lot of other people
to meet with.

- I'll be in touch.
- Ron, come on, it's me.

Give me special treatment.

[Triumphant music]

Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

Okay, first morning meeting

back in the old
conference room.

What's this?

Oh, it shows everyone's
spirit dogs.

- That one's you.
- You guys think

I'm a border collie?

So obviously a cocker spaniel.

The spirit dog committee
ruled on that weeks ago.

- There is no appeals process.
- No.

[Laughter]

Totally.
I'm in on the joke.

I get it, but maybe
we should stop talking

about your insane dog choices
and get to working.

Classic border collie.
Has to control everything.

[Laughter]

Totally.
[Laughs]

First on the agenda:
I'm gonna bring

my lemonade stand idea
to the small business coalition,

and a little birdie told me
it's already in the bag.

- Can I get a what-what?
- What?

- What?
- Thank you.

No.
What idea?

The fella who runs
the hot stew stand

in Lafayette Park is retiring,

so Pawnee's new
business liaison--Tom--

went out and got the Indiana
Brothers juice company

to rent it out
as a lemonade stand.

Wow.

[Pop, fizz]

Plus, I downloaded
this dope app

that pops champagne whenever
I say something awesome.

- Tom, that's great.
- I know.

- And it was only 9 bucks.
- No, I mean, the lemonade--

never mind.
Well, I will start doing

an environmental impact study,
and Ron,

you can do some
demographic research.

Don't sweat it, Lez-kno.

Tommy's taking care
of every last detail.

Nothing I can do to help?

Okay.
[Clears throat]

Oh.

I can straighten this for you.
[Laughs]

There we go.

Oh, Larry.

We've been taking pictures
all over City Hall

to show our unborn baby
where we met.

- Would you mind?
- Oh, my gosh.

I would be honored.
[Chuckles]

Say, when are you crazy kids
gonna get hitched?

Well, you know, actually,
we haven't

discussed it in a while.

No, it's kind of taken
a back seat.

Well, you know,
to each his own,

but you guys really seem
like you're in love.

And when I see a couple
who look at each other

the way you do,

I don't know,
it just makes me think

that maybe this crazy world
is gonna be okay.

[Laughs]

That literally went on forever.

I thought you were never
gonna stop talking.

But now that you have...

Ann Perkins, will you marry me?

[Gasps]

[Gags]

- Wow.
- [Gasps]

Cracker dust.

Uh, I mean, yes, of--
of course, l-let's do it.

Can I have a sip
of your water, please?

Oh, no, no, no.
I'm--I'm a bit of a germaphobe.

Oh, no, no, totally understand.

[Coughs]
Ann Perkins...

I'm gonna cough it out.
[Coughs]

I would like to spend
the rest of my life with you.

I love you.
[Larry groaning]

I love you too.
[Larry hacking]

No part of this
is how I pictured it.

I thought another cracker
might push it through,

but I was wrong.

- Let's do this right.
- Yeah.

Let's go get
an engagement ring.

Yes.
[Larry coughing]

[Sighs]

That was a beautiful moment.

- Hello, France!
- Mm.

You guys enjoying that cheese?

It's unpasteurized.

[Groans] What's that mean?

- Unpasteurized?
- I don't care. I don't care.

Technically, it's illegal
in this country.

I smuggled it back from Paris.

Anyway, I want you guys

to think of my office
as a clubhouse,

total open-door policy.

I wanna be your friend

as well as your boss.

What the hell
is wrong with you?

Are you in a cult?
Can I join?

- Let's sacrifice Larry.
- [Laughs] Oh, April.

It's my first day
as city manager,

so I'm holding
open office hours

to break the ice.

Now, Chris was always
the nice guy

that made everyone happy,
while I brought down the hammer.

But now that he's gone,
I kind of have to do both.

Everyone is the best.
We're cutting vacation time.

Let's eat vitamins.
This is exhausting.

Listen real quick.

I have some super cool
new rules...

- Oh, nice.
- That are also super mandatory.

Uh, we can't use
Facebook anymore?

- Are you serious?
- That's right.

Massive time waster.
Kills productivity.

Hey, sanitation.

Listen, let's talk
health insurance.

Your dependents
don't have it anymore.

Have some illegal cheese.

No cell phone usage
on City Hall property?

That's not fair, my cell phone
is how I avoid doing work.

Bathroom breaks should be
limited to five minutes?

I can't shower in five minutes.

See, he's acting
all loosey-goosey,

but that little dude's
wound so tight,

- he's gonna pop.
-
Hey, sanitation

Oh, what happened
to our spirit dogs?

I came up
with a way better game.

Behold your spirit kangaroo.

Tom, you are a blue flyer.

So am I.
So are you and Donna.

And look at Ron.
Look at Ron.

I mean--
[Chuckles]

Doesn't Ron look exactly
like a blue flyer?

There aren't that many
different types of kangaroos.

Either way, hell of a game,
right, guys?

Presentations are upon us,

so, Tom, which step
are you at in

The Leslie Knope Project
Preparedness Super System?

Yeah, once you got on
the city council,

- we kinda stopped doin' that.
- What?

Tom, no, you cannot drop

The Leslie Knope Project
Preparedness Super System.

It was developed over thousands
of government presentations

that I gave
over the past ten years.

- It is my very soul.
- Well, I have my own system.

Step one:
Chill out a bit.

Step two:
Get up there and rip it.

That's your plan?
To--to rip it?

Leslie, this is Tom's project.

Perhaps you should let him
do things his way.

Sure, yeah, you should
probably just rip it.

I think that's better
than going

with a tried and true
80-step system

that led to--
and I quote--

"The most thorough
and, dare we say, at times,

over-prepared presentation
that we've seen."

And yeah, that quote came from

the Indiana blue ribbon panel
on irrigation and drainage.

Fine, I'll go back
to your system.

- You're the big dog around here.
- Big kangaroo.

And thank you.

Well, yeah, I was gone for a while

and things are a little
different around here,

but this is still my house.

I invented
this parks game, son.

[Laughs] Oh.

Damn it!
When did they put a lamp here?

Hey.
The boys in blue?

[Chuckles]

Ah, what can I do
for you... for?

We got a tip about some food

entering the country illegally.

No--no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.

Thi--it's just cheese, guys.

Uh, I got it in France.

Okay. Did you declare it
on your customs form

when you reentered the country?

We're gonna need you
to come down to the station.

I'm sure that's not necessary.

Let's just--
this is really good cheese.

- You should try some.
- Are you trying to bribe us?

No! Oh, God.
I surrender.

[Police radio chatter]

- Step forward.
- Okay, okay.

There you go.

- This is so exciting.
- [Giggles]

Hi, folks.
When's the big day?

I assume this is a, you know...

[Mimics shotgun loading]

Oh.
No.

This isn't a shotgun wedding,

although, yes, she is pregnant,

and, yes, we did just decide
to get married today.

We haven't told our families

or chosen a venue,

but it's not a shotgun wedding.

We've been planning ours
for months.

You wouldn't believe how much
there is to do.

Invitations, table settings,

color scheme, dance lessons.

And that's just
for the rehearsal dinner.

[Both laugh]
Oh.

Seriously, that's just
for the rehearsal dinner.

That sounds elaborate.

All we did was punch
"jewelry store"

into our car GPS.

You remember
that romantic moment, Chris?

I was getting gas.

No, I don't remember it.

Hey, Tom, I don't mean
to bug you or anything,

but I notice that my super
system binder is closed.

Just checking
that you had a chance

to refamiliarize yourself
entirely.

Yeah, flipped through it.
Looks good.

Huh.
You're lying.

I placed a single strand
of hair along the edge,

and that secret strand
is unbroken.

Whose hair is that?
It's brown.

Look, it seems
like you don't even care

about your presentation.

Au contraire.
I'm working on it right now.

And what's the most important
part of a presentation?

- Content.
- The presentation.

Okay.
Tom, you need hard data.

You need facts
to make your case.

And then you need
two funny quotes

and an inspirational one.

You know, a classic
ha-ha-hmm.

Look, I think you need
to take a page

out of my system
and chill out a bit, okay?

I got this.

Okay, fine, I trust you.

But I think you're gonna fail,
and you're a ticking time bomb.

- What's that?
- Nothing, good luck.

- This is an elk hair.
- Yes.

It's the most effective hair
for binder security.

You know that, Ron.

If Tom gives that presentation,

it is going to be
a total disaster

for both him
and the department.

I cannot sit idly by

and watch
this terrible thing happen.

I mean, I can barely
sit idly by

and watch good things happen.

We've got a couple
of customs agents

coming down from the border,
and they are not happy.

I can't believe this.
I never break the law.

- I've never even jaywalked.
- Never?

I mean, I-I-I--
everyone does it sometimes.

Just add that to the charges.

Well, well, well,
we got a hit on your prints.

Seems you're wanted
for tax fraud in Colorado?

What?

I've never even been
to Colorado.

I mean, I had a layover
in Denver once.

Man, you can't keep
your story straight, can you?

- Come on!
- Oh.

Here comes
the customs guys now.

Fellas, he's all yours.

[Overlapping shouting]
You're pranked.

You gotta see the stupid look
on your face.

Check this out.
I took a picture.

- Classic!
- You seemed a little uptight.

Thought we'd have some fun
with our new boss.

Wow.
Thi--you got me.

Good one, makin' me think
I was gonna like

die in federal prison...

Ah, that's super funny,

you scamps.
[Donna tittering]

Now, Stu, I know that you're
thinking about retiring,

and I am here
to ask you to reconsider.

What do you say?

Keep that Lafayette Park
stand open,

pumpin' out the stew
like you do.

I don't know.

I'm looking forward to spending
time with my wife,

working on some new hobbies.

I was thinking about getting
into bisques.

Stu, you have been a staple

in the parks department system
for years.

Retirement is for the birds.
You're gonna be so bored.

I'm gonna say this
because you need to hear it.

Screw bisque.

- That makes a lot of sense.
- Yeah.

What now?
What do I do?

Well, we're gonna need
to convince the business council

to keep you around, but that's
not for you to worry about.

I'll take care of it.
You just keep on

stewin' what you stew.

Thanks, Leslie.

This calls for a toast.

[Buzz]

Susan?
Stew flutes, please.

Ah.

To stew.

Mm.
Oh, my God.

- That's very hot.
- Mm-hmm.

Congratulations.
This is a beauty.

If you like,
I could engrave the date

on the inside of the band.

That may be tough,

'cause we actually
haven't discussed it yet.

We could engrave "2014"

- or "TBD."
- Hang on.

If neither of us has ever
thought about this stuff,

then maybe there's a reason.

When you think about it,
we are already

more married
than most married people.

Right? I mean,
we're having a child together.

We're moving to a new city.

You let me pee
with the door open

so I could watch the end of
Grey's Anatomy.

That was a fantastic
season finale

and a show that is literally

a never-ending roller coaster
of emotion.

I mean, why spend
thousands of dollars

just to reaffirm
what we already know,

which is that
we love each other?

That is so beautiful.

Theodore, we would like
to return that ring.

And get a refund, please.

Maybe we should
talk this over too.

- Oh, come on.
- Think what we could do

if we didn't buy this ring.

I mean, this could go
towards buying a house.

You have a lovely store.

- Hey, boss?
- Hey.

I was just printing out
my minesweeper high score,

and I noticed this memo.

You're punishing us
for the prank?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's just like a warning memo.

Like, "Hey, all in good fun,

"but I'm your boss,
and if you do it again,

you're suspended."

- That kind of thing.
- Listen.

I know that you're the governor
or whatever,

and I'm just government junior.

- What?
- I feel like you're blowing it.

If you want people to like you,

you have to play along.

Don't punish Donna and April.

Prank them back.

I guess I could stand
to loosen up a little,

but I don't know
how to pull a prank.

Dude, okay.
Well, I could help you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I once did the best prank
of all time.

I dumped all of my boss's
action figures

- into a fish tank.
- Yeah, that was me.

And I didn't really like it.

Classic.

Great news, guys.

- I just saved your bacon.
- Impossible.

You don't even know
where it is.

I know you were excited to get

in front of the committee
and rip it,

but in the spirit of teamwork,

I unilaterally decided
to bring Stu out of retirement.

- So pressure's off.
- What?

- I spent a lot of time on this.
- Doin' what,

- putting mousse in your hair?
- It's a gel-based serum.

Second of all,
who uses mousse still?

Oh, God.
Leslie.

Let's put our differences aside
for a second.

Friend to friend,
do you still use mousse?

No, I use the juicy space
thing--whatever you do.

The point is you weren't ready
for this, Tom.

Stu's sales are flat.
Lemonade's the future.

I'm still doing
my presentation.

I'm still doing
my stew presentation,

and we'll see which one
the committee likes.

- Fine.
- Fine.

Yeah.

I didn't think so.

On the other hand,
there are some benefits

to being married: Taxes,

health insurance,
and I don't have to feel weird

when hotel employees
call me "Mr. Perkins."

Yeah, that makes me
feel weird too.

Maybe we should.
I don't know anymore.

"Maybe we should.
I don't know anymore."

Ann, that is
a beautiful sentiment.

Okay, you're all set.

Credit card's been
fully refunded.

Perfect timing.

We are going to buy this ring.

Charge it.

[Sighs]

Ann Perkins, will you marry me?

- I don't know!
- [Laughs] Me either!

- Maybe let's not?
- Yeah, I think maybe not.

Okay.
Ring's yours again. Hello?

Actually, we don't want
the ring.

Unbelievable.

Leslie, look.

I'm the last person to want
to deprive the world

of more stew, but are you sure
you wanna do this?

Look, I love Tom,
but you and I both know

that he's not ready to step up.

Don't you remember his last
presentation on topsoil?

The botched laser show?

Larry still can't see purple.

That was Larry's fault.

He picked up the laser
and stared right into it.

I know, but still,
Tom is all flash

- and no substance.
- That's the old Tom.

You've been gone
for a while, Leslie.

Tom has changed.

He ran a business,
sold it for a profit.

He's also been working here
for six years,

and he's learned a lot
from you.

At some point,
you're gonna have

to trust him to do his job.

You guys.
You guys.

- Be cool.
- What's going on?

I kind of convinced Ben
to prank you guys,

and it got
a little out of hand.

I probably should've said no
to some of his ideas,

but he's on his way here
right now.

Here he is.
Just be cool.

Hey, guys.
What's up?

Um, oh, I just remembered.

Can I show you something out
to the front area?

And leave your cell phones
because of no reason.

Just leave anything
that can't get wet, actually,

like you would normally.

[Sighs]

Okay, here we go
to the parking lot now.

Wow, this is really sad.

Yep, follow to me, guys.

Just going to the parking lot
for normal government reasons.

[Breathing hard]

Sorry, can't go through
with this.

- I was gonna pull a prank.
- [Gasps]

- No!
- Yeah.

I hired these guys
in ski masks to kidnap us,

and I was gonna pretend
to be a hero.

They were gonna shoot me
and drive the van

into the river,
and that's when the divers

would go in,
pull you guys out of the water,

and I would be standing
on the shore like,

"Hey, you get pranked much?"

What the [bleep]?

I even got these squibs
from a special effects guy,

and I was gonna say
this code word.

And that's when I would
push this button.

No, no, no, no, no!
[Squibs popping]

Oh, my God.
You got blood all over me.

Thank you.

I mean it.

- Ben, that was amazing.
- Really?

Best prank ever.

I'm sorry, buddy, daddy
can't get home to tuck you in.

Oh, how old is your son?

Just pick a thing.

Honey, look at this.
This is what I want.

I don't want a ring.
I don't want a wedding.

I just want this locket

with a picture of our child
in it.

I mean, we've never
been traditional.

We made out the first night
we ever met.

And when we did date,
we broke up,

but you didn't realize it,

and that was very embarrassing
for you.

Yeah, let's maybe not talk
about that part right now.

And then we got pregnant
as friends,

and then we fell in love.

We've never been
very conventional,

so why start now?

Theodore? We will not
be needing that ring,

but we would like
to purchase this locket.

How much?

Just take it
and get outta here.

- Thank you!
- Thanks.

We're here to discuss
a business contract

for the Lafayette Park
food stand.

Miss Knope,
you've always steered

this committee
in the right direction.

Why do you think we should renew
Hot Stu's lease?

Well, frankly,
it's because of Stu.

Here's a man
who was ready to retire,

spend time
with his family, travel.

And then he realized,
"No, I wanna spend my time

"in a small metal box
all summer,

bent over a boiling cauldron
of steaming, bubbling meat."

Making stew is hard:

Up at the crack of dawn,
backbreaking labor,

your clothes smelling
like salt and gristle.

Sure, profits are minimal,

but Stu doesn't care
about that.

Maybe a year extension
isn't enough.

Maybe we should make it
five years.

Heck, why don't we give him
a lifetime deal?

I'd like to see Stu ladling out

his pungent beef smoothies

until we bury him
under that shed.

I think I've made
a terrible mistake.

Okay, that was bleak.

Uh, Mr. Haverford, you have
a presentation as well?

Hey.
Rip it.

There's nothing more American
than lemonade.

Just sayin' the word
makes you wanna drink some.

And now you can.
Check under your seats.

[Murmuring, giggling]

Heh, hey.
Has my name on it.

Yes, it does.
Classic for you, Carter.

Darva,
yours is a pink lemonade.

- I know you love that.
- Because I like pink.

That's right.
Now, who here

likes laser shows?

Summer foot traffic in Lafayette
Park has increased 23%.

The Indiana Brothers
are the fastest-growing

beverage company
in the Midwest.

My projections show
they can increase

government revenue 30%
over the next five years.

Plus, they've agreed to waive
their franchise fee.

Look, guys, I'm sorry
about all the new rules,

But--you know,
I want you to like me.

But I-I also really need you
to respect me.

I respect you, little buddy.

Come here.

Mm, respect noogie.

Ah!

We didn't prank you
'cause we don't respect you.

We did it 'cause we love you.

Well, that's actually not
how respect is spelled.

- Yes.
- According to Urethra Franklin,

that's exactly
how it's spelled.

Hey, Wyatt.
You were a good sport earlier.

No hard feelings?

Here's a little gift for you
for believing in me.

- Oh.
- It's a gel-based hair serum.

Enough with the mousse,
for real.

Okay.

Well, Ron, you were right.
Tom has really grown up.

You seem merely overjoyed

instead of irritatingly
ecstatic.

- Why?
- Well, Tom's come into his own.

April runs Animal Control.

I mean, does this department
even need me anymore?

No.
We do not.

April and Tom started out

as two of the most apathetic
people I had ever met.

It's why I hired them.

Then you betrayed me
and turned them

into efficient and caring
government employees.

This office can indeed
function without you.

And soon, it'll have to.

Was that a death threat?

We both know you're not
gonna be here forever.

This is a weigh station

on the road
to bigger and better things.

Whenever you do move on,

it should please you
to know that--

God help me--

you've built a well-functioning
government agency.

Oh, that reminds me.

I know you don't open
your mail, but I do.

And because you created
Tom's position--

business liaison--
and it's already

financially paying off,
you have received

Pawnee's government employee
of the month.

I mean, it has taken--

Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

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