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1
00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,371
- IT'S MY NEW INTERVIEW OUTFIT.
2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:05,139
LIKE, "HEY,
NICE TO MEET YOU.
3
00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:06,240
CAN'T WAIT
FOR THE INTERVIEW."
4
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,575
- UM, I--MAYBE THE H--
5
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,177
MAYBE THE HAT.
- YEAH.
6
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,111
- LOSE THIS?
7
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,246
TO WIN AN ELECTION,
YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD,
8
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,247
AND YOU HAVE TO BE LUCKY.
9
00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:15,383
BUDDY WOOD HOSTS
THE NUMBER-ONE MORNING SHOW
10
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:16,784
IN INDIANAPOLIS,
11
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,287
AND HE WANTS TO INTERVIEW ME
FOR A SERIES HE'S DOING
12
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,788
ON LOCAL ELECTIONS.
13
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,591
AND LAST YEAR THE FIVE PEOPLE
THAT HE PROFILED ALL WON.
14
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,259
THIS IS A HUGE BREAK FOR US.
15
00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:27,161
- UM...HEY.
16
00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:29,563
M-MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT A PAUSE
ON THE FASHION SHOW.
17
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,365
WE HAVE TO GO OVER
YOUR TALKING POINTS.
18
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,367
- KEEP GOING.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOU.
19
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:36,137
- UM, OKAY, MS. KNOPE,
WHAT IS GOING TO BE
20
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,372
YOUR FIRST MAJOR
PUBLIC WORKS PROJECT?
21
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,440
- OH, I DON'T KNOW.
22
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:42,843
BUT I BET THESE PANTS
WILL WORK FOR THE PUBLIC.
23
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,146
- WHOO!
- YEAH, THOSE PANTS LOOK DOPE!
24
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,348
- RIGHT?
- OH, MY GOD, THOSE LOOK GREAT.
25
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,117
AND I BET THEY LOOK EVEN BETTER
ON BEN'S FLOOR.
26
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,584
- OH!
- ARE YOU HITTING ON LESLIE...
27
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:51,585
FOR ME?
28
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:52,586
- WAIT A SECOND.
29
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,122
JUST TURN AROUND.
30
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,489
- WHAT?
31
00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:56,857
- OH.
32
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,259
- IT SAYS "NYMPHO"
ON THE BUTT
33
00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,493
IN SILVER, SPARKLY LETTERS.
34
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:01,495
NYMPHO MEANS
YOU'RE ADDICTED TO SEX,
35
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:02,330
AND SINCE IT'S ON THE BUTT,
36
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,398
THERE'S OTHER IMPLICATIONS
AS WELL.
37
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,267
SO THOSE ARE A MAYBE.
38
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,270
[upbeat music]
39
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:17,311
*
40
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,889
- WHO WAS LAURA MULVEY?
41
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,259
- LAURA MULVEY WAS...
42
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,860
A GUY...
- GIRL.
43
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,295
- RIGHT. WOMEN'S STUDIES.
44
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,329
THEY'RE ALL GIRLS.
45
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:38,232
LAURA MULVEY WAS A FEMINIST
FILM CRITIC WHO...
46
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,533
WROTE A MAJOR ESSAY
THAT HELPED SHIFT
47
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,503
THE ORIENTATION
OF FILM THEORY
48
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,405
TO THE PSYCHOANALYTICAL
FRAMEWORK!
49
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,240
TREAT, PLEASE.
50
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,441
I'M ABOUT TO TAKE
MY FIRST-EVER FINAL
51
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,542
FOR MY WOMEN'S STUDIES CLASS.
52
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,543
TREAT!
53
00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,145
- USUALLY, TESTS SCARE ME,
54
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,214
BUT THIS IS AN ORAL EXAM.
55
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:56,917
UH, AND IF THERE'S
ONE THING I KNOW IS--
56
00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,554
MY FANTASTIC--
IT'S TALK.
57
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,523
GOD, I DON'T KNOW.
MAN, I'M SO NERVOUS.
58
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,425
I KNOW--I'M JUST GONNA
CALL THE PROFESSOR,
59
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,626
AND THEN I'M GONNA
GET ON THE PHONE
60
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,228
AND MAKE
SOME FAKE BARFING SOUNDS,
61
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,929
AND THEN I'M JUST GONNA BAIL,
SO GIVE ME MY PHONE.
62
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,431
- NO! ANDREW...
63
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,533
THAT'S NOW HOW GROWN-UPS
HANDLE TOUGH SITUATIONS.
64
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:15,436
- WELL, I--
- WE FACE OUR FEARS HEAD-ON.
65
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,305
- TOLD YOU--IF YOU CAN'T
REMEMBER WHAT SOME WOMAN DID,
66
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,807
JUST TEAR UP AND SAY,
"SHE CHANGED MY LIFE."
67
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,276
- AH, THAT'S A GOOD CALL.
68
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,577
- I THINK THIS IS IT.
69
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,946
BUT DO I NEED A HAT,
LIKE A BOWLER,
70
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,481
OR AN EDGY SCARF?
71
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:28,916
NO, THOSE ENDLESS SCARVES
72
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,083
THAT COME OUT OF YOUR SLEEVES
LIKE A MAGICIAN.
73
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:33,287
- UM...I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST
GO WITH SOMETHING BASIC--
74
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,288
NO NONSENSE.
75
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,523
[cell phone rings]
76
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:36,957
MR. WOOD, HELLO.
77
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,860
- GOD, HE IS MORE TIGHTLY WOUND
THAN EVER.
78
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,862
- MAYBE WE SHOULD SEE IF HE CAN
PULL THAT ROD OUT OF HIS BUTT
79
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,431
AND WE CAN HANG
SOME OF THOSE OUTFITS ON IT.
80
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,398
- [giggles]
81
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,467
- ANN AND I HAVE
THE OCCASIONAL ROUGH PATCH
82
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,336
IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.
83
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,971
BUT RIGHT NOW,
WE'RE REALLY IN A GROOVE.
84
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,607
WE'VE GONE 30 HOURS
WITHOUT BREAKING UP.
85
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,976
OUR PERSONAL BEST
IS 47 HOURS.
86
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,379
IT HAPPENED WHEN SHE WAS
OUT OF TOWN FOR TWO DAYS
87
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,848
AND SHE FORGOT
WE WERE DATING.
88
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,850
- WELL, LET ME KNOW
IF ANYTHING CHANGES.
89
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,618
THANK YOU.
90
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:05,919
[sighs]
91
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,655
INTERVIEW'S OFF.
all: WHAT?
92
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,423
- BUDDY HAS TO FLY BACK
TO INDIANAPOLIS EARLY--
93
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,559
SOMETHING ABOUT
A FACTORY EXPLOSION.
94
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,227
- COME ON, DID ANYONE
EVEN GET HURT?
95
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,528
SORRY.
96
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,897
- FIRST STROKE OF LUCK
WE'VE HAD, AND IT'S GONE.
97
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,333
OKAY, WELL, WE JUST
HAVE TO WORK HARDER.
98
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,934
I MEAN, GOOD NEWS IS,
WE CAN CALL IT A NIGHT
99
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,537
AND GET A SUPER-EARLY START
ON OUR DOOR-TO-DOOR TOMORROW.
100
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,005
- OOH, THAT IS GREAT NEWS.
101
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,308
AND, YOU KNOW, WE MIGHT EVEN
BE ABLE TO MAKE IT BACK
102
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,376
IN TIME FOR BORING CLUB.
103
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,311
DO YOU KNOW WHO THE PRESIDENT
OR BORING CLUB IS?
104
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,545
- ME?
105
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,314
- NOPE...
YOU LOST THE ELECTION
106
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,848
'CAUSE YOUR SPEECH
WAS TOO BORING.
107
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,584
- HEY, WHY DON'T WE ALL
GO GET A DRINK,
108
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,985
BLOW OFF SOME STEAM?
109
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,887
EVERYBODY'S BEEN
WORKING SO HARD.
110
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,356
- UM...WELL, WE'RE
IN THE HOMESTRETCH HERE,
111
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,458
AND LOSING THAT INTERVIEW
DIDN'T HELP.
112
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,260
I'M GONNA GO OVER
SOME POLLING NUMBERS
113
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,295
AND TURN IN EARLY.
114
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,562
I SUGGEST YOU DO THE SAME.
115
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,631
- HEY, LESLIE,
GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME?
116
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,400
- AH, SCREW IT.
117
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,668
I GOT A NEW OUTFIT.
MY HAIR LOOKS AMAZING.
118
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,371
AND I HAVE A SERIOUS EXCESS
OF PRE-INTERVIEW ADRENALINE.
119
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,672
WHO'S GONNA DRINK WITH ME?
120
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,874
- OOH...
- OH...
121
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,843
- SUSAN BRONWELL, OR B.,
ANTHONY--
122
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,346
WAS BORN IN ADAMS,
MASSACHUSETTS, IN 1820,
123
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,047
AND SHE PLAYED A PIVOTAL ROLE
124
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,283
IN THE INSTITUTION
OF WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE.
125
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,651
TREAT, PLEASE.
- ANDY--ANDY, SLOW DOWN.
126
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,453
YOU'RE TAKING THIS CLASS
PASS/FAIL.
127
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:15,356
SO I'M JUST LOOKING
FOR A FREEWHEELING DISCUSSION
128
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,325
ABOUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU
GOT FROM THE CLASS.
129
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:18,659
- OH. OKAY.
130
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:22,896
[chuckles] I WOULD SAY
WHAT I FIND VERY COOL
131
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,999
ABOUT SUSAN B. ANTHONY IS...
132
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,001
HOW...
133
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,539
SHE WAS BORN
IN ADAMS, MASSACHUSETTS,
134
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,374
IN 1820.
135
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:34,508
YOU KNOW?
136
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,610
JUST ONE MAN'S OPINION.
137
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,579
I PASSED!
I GOT A "P"!
138
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,881
- CONGRATS, BABE.
- YEAH! MMM!
139
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:44,485
I WAS HOPING FOR A P-PLUS,
BUT THAT DOES NOT EXIST.
140
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,886
RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
141
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,955
- YES, SO, BASICALLY,
BEST GRADE IN THE CLASS--
142
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,357
TIED FOR THE BEST GRADE
IN THE CLASS.
143
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,892
RON, I AM
A COLLEGE GRADUATE NOW.
144
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,594
- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
- I'M A COLLEGE COURSE...
145
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,429
GRADUATE, AND IT'S ALL
BECAUSE OF YOU.
146
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:56,864
- IT'S MY PLEASURE, SON.
147
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,366
I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
148
00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,500
HOW ABOUT A STEAK?
149
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,602
- YEAH!
- YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD TIME.
150
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,471
- OH, PROFESSOR,
WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US?
151
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,605
IS THAT COOL?
- SURE.
152
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,540
- WE'LL LET YOU PAY
FOR YOUR OWN FOOD,
153
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,008
BECAUSE OF EQUALITY.
154
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,977
- I GUESS NOW THAT THE CLASS
IS OVER,
155
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,612
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH IT.
156
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,947
- ARE YOU GONNA WEAR THAT?
157
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,549
- OKAY, I'M CALLING IT.
158
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,918
I HAVE A DATE
WITH MY BATHTUB,
159
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,087
A GLASS OF RED WINE,
160
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,490
AND A GIGANTIC FIREMAN
NAMED MARCUS.
161
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,992
- I'M GONNA KEEP PLUGGING
AWAY FOR A BIT.
162
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,062
- YOU DON'T MIND THIS WORK,
DO YOU?
163
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,932
- UH-UH.
I LIKE IT.
164
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,703
IT MAKES SENSE TO ME.
165
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,542
- MMM. THIS WAS SUCH
A GOOD IDEA.
166
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,543
SHOULD WE GET ANOTHER ROUND?
167
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,445
- UM...
I THINK WE SHOULD GET
168
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,914
A MORE BASIC,
NO-NONSENSE BEVERAGE.
169
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,148
[laughter]
170
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,150
- UH...MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL
JUST DRINK
171
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,952
SENSIBLE PORTIONS OF MILK.
172
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,921
- I MEAN, I LOVE HIM.
IT'S JUST...
173
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:57,491
THIS CAMPAIGN HAS TURNED
FUN, DORKY BEN
174
00:05:57,525 --> 00:06:01,395
INTO GRUMPY, STRESS-BALL BEN.
- MM.
175
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,431
- IT'S LIKE DEALING
WITH A STRICT MOTHER
176
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:07,401
WHO I AM CONFUSINGLY
ATTRACTED TO.
177
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:09,002
- MM.
- BEN IS LIKE A MILF.
178
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,004
- YOU JUST NEED
TO BLOW OFF SOME STEAM.
179
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,606
HE SHOULD JUST GET THAT.
- YEAH.
180
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,174
- YOU'RE LESLIE KNOPE!
- RIGHT!
181
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,544
- NO ONE TAKES THIS
MORE SERIOUSLY THAN YOU DO!
182
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,178
- TELL ME ABOUT IT!
- YES!
183
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,048
- TEQUILA SHOTS?
all: OHH!
184
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,083
- TO KNOPE 2012.
185
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,518
- MM.
186
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:25,553
- AHH.
187
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,987
- DING-DONG.
188
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,522
[cell phone rings]
OH.
189
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,523
HELLO. LADY KNOPE.
190
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,524
I MEAN LESLIE KNOPE.
191
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,726
- HEY.
- OH, HEY, BEN.
192
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,061
- WHERE ARE YOU?
193
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,530
- I'M IN, UH, THE HOUSE
WATCHING TV RIGHT NOW.
194
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,666
I'M WATCHING, UM...
- MURDER SHE WROTE.
195
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,668
- MURDER SHE WROTE.
I'M WATCHING MURDER SHE WROTE.
196
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,637
- AMAZING NEWS--BUDDY WOOD'S
FLIGHT WAS DELAYED.
197
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,205
SO, IF WE CAN GET
TO THE AIRPORT RIGHT NOW,
198
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,507
THE INTERVIEW'S BACK ON.
199
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,909
- WHAT? WOW!
200
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,978
WHAT COULD BE WRONG
WITH THAT?
201
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,079
NOTHING.
202
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,547
ANYWAY, HERE COMES ME...
203
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:54,915
TO THE AIRPORT.
- GREAT.
204
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,017
I'LL SEE YOU THERE...
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
205
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,085
- OKAY, BYE.
206
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,186
THE INTERVIEW IS BACK ON!
207
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,188
- WHOO! YES!
- I KNOW!
208
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,691
WE ARE SO "DRUCKY."
I MEAN "LUNKY."
209
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,532
- OKAY, BOTH THE CABS
IN THIS TOWN ARE BUSY.
210
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,701
BUT I STILL HAD EIGHT HOURS
RENTAL TIME
211
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,069
ON THAT HOT-TUB LIMOUSINE THAT
I GOT FOR YOUR CAMPAIGN EVENT,
212
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,071
AND IT'S ON ITS WAY.
- THAT'S SMART.
213
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,540
YOU'RE SMART.
214
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,742
both: DIDDLY DIDDLY DIDDLY
DIDDLY SWAG.
215
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,111
- YOU DID IT RIGHT!
- I DID IT RIGHT.
216
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,212
- AH!
- HA HA!
217
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,648
- 33 HOURS.
218
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,250
- OKAY, LOOK, THIS INTERVIEW
IS A BIG DEAL, YOU GUYS.
219
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,653
THIS IS A GAME CHANGER, OKAY?
I HAVE TO DO WELL.
220
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,988
- LISTEN, LET'S DO
PRACTICE INTERVIEW...
221
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,089
- BIG IDEA, ANN.
222
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,626
- AND SEE HOW YOU DO.
- LET'S GO.
223
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,261
- [Russian accent] LESLIE,
IN YOUR HUMBLE OPINION...
224
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,630
- [laughing]
- WHAT?
225
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:46,066
- WHY ARE YOU FROM RUSSIA?
- I DON'T KNOW.
226
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,035
- HEY, RON IS THE GUY
I WROTE ABOUT
227
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,038
FOR THAT PAPER ON POSITIVE
MALE ROLE MODELS.
228
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,707
- OH, YEAH, THAT WAS ONE
OF YOUR MOST READABLE PAPERS.
229
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:56,644
ACCORDING TO ANDY,
YOU'RE QUITE THE FEMINIST.
230
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,046
- I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF
AN ANYTHING-IST,
231
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:02,015
BUT MY LIFE HAS BEEN SHAPED
BY POWERFUL WOMEN.
232
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,217
MY FATHER
ONCE TOLD MY MOTHER
233
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,219
THAT WOMAN WAS MADE
FROM THE RIB OF ADAM,
234
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,556
AND MY MOM BROKE HIS JAW.
235
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,690
MY UNCLE LON ONCE
TRIED TO...
236
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,124
- IS THAT CHRIS?
237
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,060
- YOU KNOW,
IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE HIM.
238
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,128
BUT THERE'S NO WAY
TO KNOW FOR SURE.
239
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,197
WE SHOULD ASK HIM TOMORROW.
240
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,133
- HEY.
241
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,535
- APRIL LUDGATE.
242
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,236
- WHY ARE YOU HERE
EATING ALONE?
243
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:26,139
- I'M NOT.
I'M SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS...
244
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,541
FRIENDS I DON'T KNOW YET.
245
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:30,043
AND I'M ENGROSSED
IN THIS BOOK.
246
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:32,045
IT'S THE TRUE STORY
OF A WOMAN BORN
247
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,647
WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS
248
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,683
WHO ATTEMPTED TO SWIM
THE ENGLISH CHANNEL.
249
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,218
- THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
- OH, SHE DROWNED IMMEDIATELY.
250
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,953
IT'S KIND OF A SAD STORY.
251
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,622
- COOL.
252
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,558
I'M OVER THERE WITH PEOPLE
YOU ACTUALLY KNOW...
253
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,059
IF YOU WANT
TO COME JOIN US.
254
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,061
- THANK YOU.
255
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,730
BYE, FRIEND.
256
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,064
- BYE.
257
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,671
- I'M SORRY, MARCUS, I'M GONNA
HAVE TO CANCEL OUR BATH.
258
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,272
SOMETHING INTERESTING
IS HAPPENING.
259
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:00,774
I WANT TO WATCH IT.
260
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:01,975
I DON'T KNOW, MARCUS.
261
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,144
I'LL HIT YOU UP
WHEN I HIT YOU UP.
262
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,223
- WOW, I FEEL TOTALLY NORMAL.
I'M READY TO DO THIS.
263
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,092
- THANK YOU FOR ACCOMMODATING US
ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.
264
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,994
- HEY, FOR LESLIE KNOPE,
ANYTIME.
265
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,663
JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU
NEED ANYTHING ELSE, ALL RIGHT?
266
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,065
- THANKS, PAUL. HEY, YOU GOT
THOSE NEW I.D. BADGES.
267
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,667
- THEY FINALLY UPGRADED US--
268
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,769
SECURITY SWIPE AND EVERYTHING.
- WOW, LOOK AT THAT.
269
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,237
- [laughs] YEAH.
- SORRY.
270
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,705
- HEY, THANKS AGAIN
FOR FIGHTING FOR THEM.
271
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,340
- "HELPY" TO HOP OUT.
272
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,242
- LESLIE KNOPE.
BUDDY WOOD.
273
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,010
- BUDDY WOOD.
- GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
274
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:37,811
- GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
275
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:38,846
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE,
276
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,181
AND WELCOME TO THE GREATEST
CITY IN THE WORLD.
277
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,283
- OH.
[laughs]
278
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,619
OH, I'M SORRY.
YOU'RE BEING SERIOUS.
279
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,320
WE'RE SETTING UP OVER THERE,
FOUND A SMALL PIECE OF CARPET
280
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,990
WITHOUT A HORRIFYING
SMELLSCAPE.
281
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,158
- I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
282
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,392
HEY, DO I SEEM NORMAL
TO YOU?
283
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,994
LIKE, DOES EVERYTHING
SEEM FINE?
284
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,228
- YEAH, YEAH--YOU SEEM FINE.
- I SEEM OKAY?
285
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,329
- UH-HUH.
- I DON'T SEEM DISTRACTED
286
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,330
OR BABBLY OR ANYTHING?
287
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,700
- NO, IT'S GREAT.
SO YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT.
288
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,102
- YOU'RE GONNA DO SMART.
- WHAT'S THAT?
289
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,737
- LOOK WHO I FOUND.
- HI.
290
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,005
- PROFESSOR LINDA,
THIS IS CHRIS.
291
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,740
CHRIS, THIS IS...
- PROFESSOR LINDA?
292
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,676
IT IS A GENUINE PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU.
293
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,010
- OH, YOU AS WELL.
- HI, THERE.
294
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,311
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR
OUR SPECIALS?
295
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,345
- NO NEED.
296
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,014
PORTERHOUSE, RARE,
QUICKLY.
297
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,348
- SAME.
298
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,084
- I'LL HAVE
THE, UH, SPINACH SALAD.
299
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,351
WHAT KIND OF DRESSINGS
DO YOU HAVE?
300
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,987
- OH! LINDA, IN CASE
YOU'RE INTERESTED,
301
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,221
I BROUGHT MY OWN DRESSING.
302
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,790
- YOU REALLY
CAN'T BE DOING THAT.
303
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,257
- WELL, THIS IS THE LAST TIME.
I PROMISE.
304
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,159
IT CONTAINS
EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL,
305
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,295
A LITTLE BIT OF LEMON,
AND HINT OF TURMERIC.
306
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,629
- SOUNDS GREAT.
307
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,167
- PAWNEE, INDIANA,
308
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,403
HOME TO
THE SWEETUMS CANDY CORPORATION,
309
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,807
19 TOXIC-WASTE REPOSITORIES,
AND NOT MUCH ELSE.
310
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,274
THIS SLEEPY MINI-METROPOLIS
311
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,077
IS THE SITE OF A FASCINATING
CITY COUNCIL RACE.
312
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,213
JOINING US TODAY IS ONE
OF THE CANDIDATES, LESLIE KNOPE.
313
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,816
LESLIE, WELCOME...
TO GOOD MORNING.
314
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,751
- IT'S MY PLEASURE.
315
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,186
THANK YOU FOR BEING
ON MY SHOW.
316
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,023
- LESLIE, WE'RE HERE
AT THE PAWNEE MUNICIPAL AIRPORT,
317
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,760
WHICH I MUST ADD IS...
RATHER DECREPIT.
318
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,829
- WELL, I'M GLAD
YOU MENTIONED IT.
319
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:04,364
IT IS IN DESPERATE NEED
OF REFURBISHMENTS.
320
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,834
AND THAT IS WHY I'M GOING
TO MAKE IT A CENTERPIECE
321
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,102
OF MY PLATFORM.
- OKAY.
322
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,404
- TAKE, UH...
JOE APPLEDEMAS OVER THERE.
323
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,706
JOE, SAY HI.
324
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:13,640
- HELLO.
325
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,143
- JOE HAS BEEN WORKING HERE
SINCE 1996,
326
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,011
AND HIS SALARY
HAS NOT BEEN RAISED A NICKEL.
327
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,379
I AM GONNA WORK
VERY HARD TO CHANGE--
328
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:23,751
- OKAY, THIS AIRPORT SEEMS TO ME
LIKE A METAPHOR.
329
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,252
ARE YOU FAMILIAR
WITH THE TERM?
330
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,288
PAWNEE'S AIRPORT IS SYMBOLIC
OF THE TOWN--
331
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:31,058
OUT OF TOUCH,
OUT OF DATE, PERHAPS,
332
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,326
LOST, INSIGNIFICANT,
333
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,262
AND SAD.
334
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,064
YOUR THOUGHTS?
335
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,832
- WELL, GRANTED,
336
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,433
WE DON'T HAVE
BIG-CITY AMENITIES,
337
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,035
BUT I THINK
WE MORE THAN MAKE UP FOR IT
338
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,337
WITH FRIENDLY FACES
AND HAND-WORKING HARDS--
339
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,405
HARDWORKING HANDS.
340
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,240
- IF YOU SAY SO.
I SAY IT'S SAD.
341
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,176
MOVING ON...
342
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,045
- OH, MY GOD.
343
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,013
IF THEY GOT TOGETHER,
344
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,115
THEY WOULD MAKE
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SUPER BABY.
345
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,117
IT WOULD RULE US ALL.
346
00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:00,854
BUT WHAT IF SUPER BABY
BECAME TOO POWERFUL?
347
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,123
- I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO TAKE THAT CHANCE.
348
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,125
CHRIS GOT DUMPED
BY JERRY'S DAUGHTER.
349
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,227
HE NEEDS THIS.
350
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,162
PLUS, IF THEY GET MARRIED,
351
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,363
HE'LL SPEND
ALL HIS TIME WITH HER,
352
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,801
AND I MIGHT NEVER HAVE
TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN.
353
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,335
HMM.
354
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,504
PROFESSOR LINDA,
YOU HAVE...
355
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,206
REALLY NICE ARMS.
356
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,540
- OH?
- DO YOU WORK OUT?
357
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,309
- I WAS GONNA SAY
THE EXACT SAME THING.
358
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:25,045
BUT I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK
THAT I WAS OBJECTIFYING YOU
359
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,446
WITH MY MALE GAZE.
360
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,447
MAY I SEE?
361
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,548
- OH, SURE.
362
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,550
- OH, MY GOOD GRACIOUS.
YOU HAVE...
363
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,286
EXTRAORDINARY CAPUT LATERALE.
- THANK YOU.
364
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,455
- THERE'S NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT
THAN PHYSICAL HEALTH.
365
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,190
- I AGREE.
- KENDRA?
366
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,158
- YES?
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
367
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,427
I AM GONNA HAVE
THAT THIRD STEAK AFTER ALL.
368
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,563
GO AHEAD AND PUT THAT ORDER IN
NOW, PLEASE, AND THANK YOU.
369
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,332
- YOUR CAMPAIGN HIT
A SNAG OF SORTS,
370
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,534
WITH THE REVELATION THAT YOU
AND YOUR BOSS, BEN WYATT,
371
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:50,070
WERE HAVING
UNE AFFAIRE DE COEUR--
372
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,338
AFFAIR OF THE HEART.
373
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,873
- WELL, I'VE DISCUSSED THAT
MANY TIMES,
374
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,474
AND THERE'S REALLY
NOTHING MORE TO SAY.
375
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,309
I WOULD RATHER TALK
ABOUT THE WAYS
376
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,045
TO SOLVE PROBLEMS
IN THIS TOWN.
377
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,312
- [chuckles]
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
378
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,181
BUT GETTING BACK
TO YOUR AFFAIR WITH BEN WYATT,
379
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,582
WHO'S NOW
YOUR CAMPAIGN MANAGER...
380
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,217
- BUDDY, FRANKLY,
I DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS THAT.
381
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,319
BUT IF YOU'D LIKE,
WE CAN TALK ABOUT WAYS
382
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,222
THAT I CAN IMPROVE THE AIRPORT
OR OUR MANY WONDERFUL PARKS.
383
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,157
- I DON'T.
384
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,524
I'D LIKE TO TALK
ABOUT YOU AND BEN WYATT.
385
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,127
- UH-OH.
I KNOW THAT LOOK.
386
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,328
- SHE'S GOT THE CRAZY EYES.
- YEAH.
387
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,429
- WELL, LIKE I SAID,
388
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,165
I DON'T WANT
TO DISCUSS IT, BUDDY,
389
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,167
AND, FRANKLY, I DON'T APPRECIATE
YOUR CONDESCENDING TONE.
390
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,168
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
391
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,236
I'VE HAD A COUPLE DRINKS,
SO WHAT THE HELL?
392
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,571
BEN AND I FIRST...
393
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,439
- I'M SORRY, MS. KNOPE,
394
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,375
ARE YOU INEBRIATED?
395
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,610
- WHAT? NO.
PREPOSTEROUS.
396
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,846
ARE YOU INE--
[hiccups]--EBRIATED?
397
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,381
THAT WAS BAD TIMING.
398
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,150
THIS IS A BUDDY WOOD FIRST--
AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
399
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,618
WITH POTENTIAL CITY COUNCILWOMAN
LESLIE KNOPE,
400
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,553
WHO APPEARS TO BE DRUNK
RIGHT NOW ON CAMERA.
401
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,255
- I AM NOT DRUNK.
402
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,892
YES, WHEN YOU HAVE
A JUMBO MARGARITA
403
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,227
AND SOME FLAMING TEQUILA
SHOTS, YOU CAN GET DRUNK.
404
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,062
- IS IT THIS SAD,
PATHETIC TOWN
405
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,531
THAT MAKES YOU DRINK
THIS WAY?
406
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,334
- THISINTERVIEW IS OVER.
- OKAY, MS. KNOPE.
407
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,468
[chuckles]
OH--
408
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,470
- THIS--THIS IS NOT
BECAUSE I'M DRUNK.
409
00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,473
THIS IS BECAUSE OF THE WIRE.
410
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,542
- A FITTING END
TO A BIZARRE INTERVIEW
411
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,144
AND A SAD MOMENT
412
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,513
IN A DEPRESSING CITY
WITH NO HOPE,
413
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:10,317
IN THE WANING MOMENTS
OF THE BITTER SAGA
414
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,453
THAT HAS BEEN
A CONTENTIOUS CAMPAIGN.
415
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,357
- COME ON, BUDDY,
YOU CANNOT AIR THAT TAPE.
416
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,159
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
THIS IS AS GREAT FOR ME
417
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,627
AS IT IS TERRIBLE FOR YOU.
418
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,229
THE SHEEP THAT WATCH MY SHOW
419
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,464
ARE GONNA EAT THIS UP
LIKE TIRAMISU.
420
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,233
TIRAMISU IS
AN ITALIAN DESSERT OFTEN--
421
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,367
- I KNOW WHAT
TIRAMISU IS, OKAY?
422
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,436
AND SHEEP DON'T EAT IT.
- SORRY, BUT...
423
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,572
TOMORROW MORNING
THIS GETS BROADCAST
424
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,875
AROUND THE ENTIRE
INDIANA-SPHERE.
425
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:41,081
- THANK YOU FOR CELEBRATING
426
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:45,118
THE MOST ULTIMATE TRIUMPH
OF MY LIFE.
427
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:49,522
I'M VERY PROUD OF ME,
AND YOU ARE TOO.
428
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,592
AND, PROFESSOR, I'M TAKING
YOUR CLASS AGAIN NEXT SEMESTER.
429
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,361
AND I'M GONNA LOCK DOWN
THAT P-PLUS.
430
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,129
- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
431
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:59,166
- YOU AND THE WOMEN TAUGHT ME
THAT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
432
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,333
- I BETTER BE GOING.
433
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,434
I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY.
- GOOD-BYE.
434
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,636
- I'M TEACHING A MORNING
ZUMBA CLASS FOR RETIREES.
435
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,105
- [clears throat]
436
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,240
- BEFORE I DO,
437
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,542
LINDA, DO YOU ENJOY
LAND KAYAKING?
438
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,643
IT'S QUITE FUN.
439
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,146
WELL, IT'S MORE GRUELING
THAN FUN.
440
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,614
BUT I WOULD LOVE
TO TAKE YOU.
441
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,216
- I'M REALLY FLATTERED,
442
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,617
BUT I JUST GOT
OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP,
443
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,486
AND I THINK
I NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME
444
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,588
BEFORE I JUMP INTO ANYTHING.
445
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:22,522
- OF COURSE.
I UNDERSTAND.
446
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,258
- I'M SORRY.
- I APPRECIATE YOUR CAUTION.
447
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,394
- THANK YOU.
- I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
448
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,129
GOOD-BYE, EVERYONE.
449
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:33,500
- ANYBODY WANT TO GO TO JJ'S
FOR SOME AFTER-DINNER OMELETS?
450
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,502
- OR HOW ABOUT YOU AND I
GO BACK TO MY PLACE?
451
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,137
- YES.
452
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,209
- WOW!
453
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:45,178
- BEN, I AM SO SORRY.
454
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:46,613
- LET'S JUST FOCUS
ON THE PROBLEM.
455
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,281
NOW, IF WE DON'T STOP
THAT INTERVIEW
456
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,517
FROM AIRING IN THE MORNING,
THIS CAMPAIGN IS DEAD.
457
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,152
SO...
458
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,720
WE HAVE TO GO
TO INDIANAPOLIS.
459
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,123
- AND DO WHAT?
- I DON'T KNOW, TOM.
460
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,225
I GUESS WE'LL JUST SET FIRE
TO THE STUDIO OR SOMETHING.
461
00:15:58,258 --> 00:15:59,692
- AH, THAT'S SO SWEET--
I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND
462
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,195
THREATEN TO COMMIT ARSON
FOR ME BEFORE.
463
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:03,096
- AH, IT GETS OLD.
464
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,331
- WE STILL HAVE
SIX HOURS OF RENTAL TIME
465
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,532
ON THE HOT-TUB LIMO.
466
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,399
WE COULD TAKE THAT.
467
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,135
NO ONE WOULD HAVE TO DRIVE
ALL NIGHT.
468
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,469
- THAT'S ACTUALLY A GOOD IDEA.
469
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,738
- PLUS, IT ALLOWS
FOR THE POSSIBILITY
470
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,640
OF HIGH-SPEED SKINNY-DIPPING.
471
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,575
- UGH.
[scoffs]
472
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,345
- ANN, I WAS JOKING.
COME ON, IT WAS A JOKE.
473
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,280
- [chuckling]
IT WAS FUNNY.
474
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,581
- WHERE WE GOING, FOLKS--
475
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,283
DRIVE AROUND,
HIT THE STRIP CLUBS?
476
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,584
- YEAH!
- NO.
477
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:28,288
WE'RE GOING TO THIS ADDRESS
IN INDIANAPOLIS.
478
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,290
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
479
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,459
- YOU KNOW, NO ONE EVER USED
THIS HOT-TUB LIMO
480
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,693
FOR ACTUAL TRANSPORTATION.
481
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,428
AND I CAN'T TAKE THIS THING
ON THE HIGHWAY,
482
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,130
SO IT'LL TAKE
A FEW EXTRA HOURS.
483
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,265
- [grunts]
484
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,699
- HEY, IS THIS
A SEVEN OR A ONE?
485
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,534
- [sighs]
486
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,207
- JERRY.
487
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,709
JERRY!
488
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,744
MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRAP IT UP.
IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
489
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,313
- IS IT REALLY?
490
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,482
[laughing]
OH, MY GOSH.
491
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,517
WOW.
WELL, THAT FLEW BY, HUH?
492
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,486
I WILL JUST TAKE THESE
DOWN TO THE POST OFFICE
493
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,222
AND, UH, PUT THE, UH...
494
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,426
OH, JEEZ.
OH, NO.
495
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:10,330
I PUT THE HANDOUT FLYERS
IN THE MAILING ENVELOPES,
496
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,400
AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO PUT
THESE FLYERS IN THE ENVELOPES.
497
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,767
- OH...
498
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:17,704
MY GOD.
499
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,373
- WELL, YOU KNOW,
IT'S LIKE I ALWAYS SAY.
500
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:24,244
IT AIN'T GOVERNMENT WORK IF YOU
DON'T HAVE TO DO IT TWICE.
501
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,278
HERE WE GO!
502
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,147
[whistling]
503
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,315
I'LL MAKE SOME COFFEE.
504
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,283
- HEY, YOU'RE BLOCKING
MY DRIVEWAY.
505
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,219
[knocking on glass]
506
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,387
LESLIE KNOPE?
507
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,488
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- HI, UM...
508
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,390
MR. WOOD, I'M SO SORRY.
509
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:40,427
WE--OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T SEE.
IT'S SO BRIGHT OUT HERE.
510
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,296
- OHH.
- WE DROVE HERE TO ASK YOU--
511
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,732
NO, TO BEG YOU
TO PLEASE DESTROY THAT TAPE.
512
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,534
- YEAH, I GOT
YOUR 50 MESSAGES.
513
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,669
- LESLIE WAS JUST OUT WITH HER
FRIENDS BLOWING OFF SOME STEAM.
514
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,471
- WHAT?
- PLEASE. PLEASE.
515
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,739
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.
516
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,207
THAT'S FIVE PLEASES.
517
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,275
- AS MUCH AS I ENJOY
THE GROVELING,
518
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,510
I CAN'T DESTROY THE TAPE
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE IT,
519
00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,347
BECAUSE YOUR SAD,
TINY BACKWATER AIRPORT
520
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,682
LOST MY BAGS.
521
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,351
- OH, REALLY?
522
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,652
- YOU'D THINK
A COMMUTER AIRPORT
523
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,620
COULD HANDLE THE LUGGAGE
OF 11 PEOPLE AT ONCE,
524
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,256
BUT APPARENTLY NOT.
525
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,723
COMPLETELY RUINED
A GREAT STORY.
526
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,360
THANK GOD FOR THAT
MITTEN FACTORY TRAGEDY.
527
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,327
- YEAH.
- MM.
528
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,428
- GOD, THAT'S...
- OKAY.
529
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,164
- GREAT. UH...
- WE SHOULD--YEAH.
530
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,531
- WE'RE GONNA GO.
- GOOD-BYE.
531
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,704
- AH, SCREW IT.
532
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:27,240
- YAY!
[all cheer]
533
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,209
FUN BEN LIVES.
534
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,710
[all cheer]
535
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,745
- [whistling]
536
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,581
APRIL, ANDREW...
537
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,748
GOOD MORNING
TO YOU BOTH.
538
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,450
DOUGHNUTS--
GO NUTS.
539
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:40,387
[Ron and Andy laughing]
540
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,322
HEY, YOU KIDS
NEED ANY MONEY?
541
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,291
- NO.
- GO BUY YOURSELF A WALKMAN.
542
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,625
HOW MUCH IS A WALKMAN
NOWADAYS?
543
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,727
PROBABLY MORE THAN $20.
HERE'S $25.
544
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,662
- HI, GUYS,
I JUST WANTED TO COME BY
545
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,432
AND THANK YOU
FOR A PHENOMENAL EVENING.
546
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,635
- YEAH, SEEMS LIKE WE ALL
HAD A PHENOMENAL EVENING.
547
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,204
- AND I SHOULD
PROBABLY THANK YOU
548
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,137
FOR INTRODUCING ME TO LINDA.
549
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:00,540
I THINK WE HAD
A DEEP EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
550
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,475
THAT IS VERY WORTH
EXPLORING.
551
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,776
SO I'M GONNA
ASK HER OUT AGAIN...
552
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,445
WHEN SHE'S
EMOTIONALLY READY.
553
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,746
- HMM.
- HEY, RON...
554
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,549
GREAT RED SHIRT.
555
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:12,652
- DUDE, RON...YOU HAVE TO TELL
HIM WHAT HAPPENED.
556
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,554
- WHY?
IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.
557
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,756
- BECAUSE HE'S BEEN
SUPER SAD LATELY.
558
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:19,392
IT KIND OF SEEMS LIKE YOU SHOULD
AT LEAST GIVE HIM A HEADS-UP
559
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:20,627
SO HE DOESN'T GET
REJECTED AGAIN.
560
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,196
- I LIKE TO NOT GET INVOLVED
IN THESE MATTERS
561
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,598
OR ANY MATTERS
OF ANY NATURE.
562
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,467
- UH, YOU KNOW, RON,
SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME
563
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,770
THAT THIS IS NOT HOW GROWN-UPS
DEAL WITH TOUGH SITUATIONS.
564
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:33,406
WE FACE THEM HEAD-ON.
565
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,475
- [groans]
566
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,245
FINE.
567
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,247
- OH, MY GOD, RON...
568
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,549
IT WAS YOU
WHO TOLD ME THAT.
569
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,617
THAT'S CRAZY.
570
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,752
[knock at door]
571
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,420
- THERE'S THAT SHIRT.
572
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,788
- LOOK, CHRIS...
573
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,757
AFTER THE BAR LAST NIGHT,
574
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,326
I...
575
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:57,330
ENGAGED IN CONSENSUAL ACTIVITIES
WITH LINDA.
576
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,633
- I SEE.
- I DIDN'T PLAN IT.
577
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,669
BUT IT OCCURRED.
578
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,337
NOW YOU KNOW.
579
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:08,608
- WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING
FORTHRIGHT AND TELLING ME.
580
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,278
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, RON.
581
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,748
- [grunts]
582
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:17,550
- I'M QUITE LONELY.
583
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,486
- AH, [bleep].
584
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,521
- THEY SAY
TO WIN AN ELECTION,
585
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,324
YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD,
AND YOU HAVE TO BE LUCKY.
586
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:27,660
I GOT PRETTY DAMN LUCKY
WHEN I MET BEN.
587
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,762
AND I'M LUCKY
THAT ANN AND TOM
588
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:32,665
AND ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS
VOLUNTEER TO HELP ME OUT.
589
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,801
AND I'M SUPER LUCKY THAT
THAT TAPE DISAPPEARED.
590
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,710
I THINK WE MAY HAVE USED UP
ALL OUR LUCK TONIGHT.
591
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,845
ACTUALLY, NOT ALL OF IT.
592
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:48,348
HE'S ABOUT TO GET LUCKY.
593
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,549
IT'S--IT'S ON.
594
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,683
HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT YET.
595
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,054
- HEY.
- HEY, SWEETHEART.
596
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,623
I'M NOT SURE
YOU'RE EVEN AWARE OF THIS,
597
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,826
BUT WE HAVE NOW GONE 48 HOURS
WITHOUT BREAKING UP,
598
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,361
SHATTERING
OUR PREVIOUS RECORD.
599
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,662
- THAT'S NOT BAD.
600
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,031
- TO CELEBRATE...
- OH, PLEASE, DON'T.
601
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:05,965
WHATEVER THIS IS,
I DON'T WANT IT.
602
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:09,068
- JUST A LITTLE
48-HOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT.
603
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,404
- [sighs]
604
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,342
CONDOMS.
- 48 OF 'EM.
605
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,510
DIFFERENT FLAVOR
FOR EACH HOUR.
606
00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,379
- YEAH, WE'RE NOT DATING
ANYMORE, OKAY?
607
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:20,580
GET OUT.
- NO, WAIT. DON'T PUNISH ME.
608
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,382
I TOOK A RISK.
- YEAH. BYE.
609
00:21:22,432 --> 00:21:26,982
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