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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:03,137
- I WILL INSTITUTE
A REDUCTION IN TAXES
2
00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:04,505
FOR THE SMALL-BUSINESS OWNER
3
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,740
AS WELL AS
A 7% SURCHARGE
4
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:10,511
ON ALL NONLOCAL
BUSINESS-RELATED DEVELOPMENT.
5
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,415
TOGETHER WE WILL BUILD
A BETTER PAWNEE.
6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,817
- SO WHAT
WE'RE LOOKING FOR HERE
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,653
ARE YOUR OVERALL IMPRESSIONS
OF THIS CANDIDATE.
8
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:22,390
WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT HER?
WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT HER?
9
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,792
HER IDEAS, HER VOICE,
HER CLOTHES PROBABLY.
10
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:27,261
- WELL, MY CAMPAIGN
HAS A LITTLE MOMENTUM,
11
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:30,531
SO WE'RE TRYING TO CAPITALIZE
ON THAT BY DOING A FOCUS GROUP.
12
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:34,235
SOME THINGS ARE VERY HELPFUL.
OTHER THINGS ARE NOT SO HELPFUL.
13
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:38,206
ALL THE THINGS MAKE ME FEEL
A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT MYSELF.
14
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,274
- SHE'S KINDA SHORT,
DON'T YOU THINK?
15
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:41,209
AGGRESSIVELY SHORT
ALMOST.
16
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,510
IT'S LIKE SHE'S THROWING IT
IN MY FACE.
17
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,844
- INSIGHTFUL.
18
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,647
- YOU, SIR, SAID YOU WOULD NOT
VOTE FOR HER, CORRECT?
19
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,550
- YEAH. YEAH,
SHE SEEMS A LITTLE UPTIGHT.
20
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:50,684
SHE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE
21
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,821
THE KIND OF PERSON YOU COULD GO
BOWLING WITH, YOU KNOW?
22
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:54,655
- WHAT?
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
23
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,491
I AM EXCELLENT AT BOWLING.
ASK RON.
24
00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,560
- LESLIE, I KNOW IT'S TOUGH
TO HEAR THESE THINGS,
25
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,463
BUT JUST TRY NOT TO GET
OBSESSED OVER ONE COMMENT.
26
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,266
- YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT.
I'M NOT OBSESSING.
27
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,467
- OKAY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
28
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,735
- I'M JUST REMINDING MYSELF
TO TELL RON
29
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,170
TO TELL YOU HOW GOOD I AM
AT BOWLING.
30
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,104
- ALL RIGHT.
31
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,572
- I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
THAT SHE WAS SMART,
32
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,242
AND I'D VOTE FOR HER.
- THERE YOU GO.
33
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,810
- ALTHOUGH I ONCE KNEW A LESLIE,
AND, UH, SHE WAS JUST AWFUL.
34
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,280
SO NOW I HATE
ALL LESLIES.
35
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:21,449
WOULD SHE CONSIDER
CHANGING HER NAME?
36
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,452
[triumphant music]
37
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:32,493
*
38
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,371
- OKAY, HERE WE GO.
39
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,639
71% SAID THAT YOU HAVE
A STRONG COMMAND OF THE ISSUES.
40
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,609
THAT IS GOOD,
BUT ONLY 33%
41
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,378
SAID THAT THEY WOULD CONSIDER
VOTING FOR YOU.
42
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,545
- MM, YEAH,
THAT'S REALLY INTERESTING STUFF.
43
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:52,413
WHY DID THAT GUY
SAY THAT HE
44
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,781
WOULDN'T WANT TO GO
BOWLING WITH ME?
45
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,916
- YOU REALLY HAVE
TO LET THAT GO.
46
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,651
- I'VE NEVER BEEN VERY GOOD
AT LETTING THINGS GO.
47
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:01,455
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES
A FUN TUG-OF-WAR WITH A DOG
48
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,524
OVER A CHEW TOY
TURNED CONTENTIOUS.
49
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:06,160
ONE OF US
ALWAYS ENDS UP MAD.
50
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,861
I DID SOME RESEARCH TOO ABOUT
THE GUY WHO SAID THE THING
51
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,863
ABOUT ME AND BOWLING,
AND HIS NAME IS DEREK.
52
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,465
- OH, MY GOD.
53
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,367
- AND GET THIS--HE'S NOT
EVEN THAT GOOD OF A BOWLER.
54
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,335
HIS AVERAGE IS 132,
55
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,170
ACCORDING TO THE MOST RECENT
AVAILABLE DATA.
56
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,839
- LESLIE,
THAT COMMENT
57
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,509
WASN'T REALLY ABOUT WHETHER
YOU'RE GOOD AT BOWLING--
58
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,611
- WHICH I AM. ASK RON.
- WHICH WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE.
59
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,346
- BUT SOME PEOPLE
HAVE THE IMPRESSION
60
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,648
THAT YOU'RE A LITTLE ELITIST
OR INTELLECTUAL OR SOMETHING.
61
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:30,351
- THAT IS SO SEXIST.
IT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN.
62
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,753
WOULD THEY DEIGN
TO SAY SUCH THINGS
63
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,922
TO WOODROW WILSON
OR BENJAMIN DISRAELI--
64
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,490
OKAY, I SEE WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
65
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:37,525
- SEE, A LOT OF PEOPLE
DON'T VOTE WITH THEIR BRAINS.
66
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:38,892
THEY VOTE
WITH THEIR GUTS.
67
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,494
I KNOW YOU'RE FUN,
AND YOU CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME.
68
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,630
THE PUBLIC NEEDS
TO SEE THAT.
69
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:46,467
- WELL, THEN MAYBE THE CAMPAIGN
SHOULD HOST A BOWLING NIGHT.
70
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,502
- HMM.
- IT WOULD BE LAID-BACK.
71
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,304
EVERYONE HAVING FUN,
GREAT PHOTO OP.
72
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,472
- THAT COULD
ACTUALLY WORK.
73
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,506
- ALSO I'M REALLY GOOD
AT BOWLING.
74
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,242
- NO, I DON'T THINK
I BELIEVE YOU.
75
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,343
IS THERE ANYONE
I CAN ASK?
76
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,777
- YEAH.
ASK RON.
77
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,947
OH, OKAY.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
78
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,582
- ALL RIGHT,
IT IS TIME
79
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,485
FOR THE 12TH LESLIE KNOPE
FUNDRAISING PHONE BANK.
80
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,953
IS EVERYBODY
FEELING GOOD?
81
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,988
- OH, I DON'T KNOW, JERRY.
IT'S SUNDAY NIGHT,
82
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,590
I'M MAKING PHONE CALLS
TO STRANGERS,
83
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,559
AND YOU'RE
IN MY HOUSE.
84
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:12,893
MY LIFE
COULDN'T BE WORSE.
85
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,428
- HEY!
86
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:15,929
LET'S GET
THIS PHONE PARTY STARTED.
87
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,266
- NO.
- SORRY I'M LATE, GUYS.
88
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,400
- I KNOW
THIS KIND OF THING
89
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,335
CAN BE A GRIND,
BUT BEN SAID THAT THIS
90
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,904
IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
WE CAN DO TO HELP LESLIE.
91
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,274
SO TONIGHT
IS GOING TO BE FUN.
92
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:29,377
YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING,
HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY BE FUN?
93
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,878
[laughter]
94
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,881
- NO ONE'S THINKING THAT.
- I KINDA WAS.
95
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,417
- I WAS NOT.
96
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,319
- WHY ARE WE LAUGHING?
97
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,588
- WELL, ANYWAY, TONIGHT
WE ARE GONNA SPICE THINGS UP
98
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,290
WITH A LITTLE COMPETITION.
99
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,258
WHOEVER RAISES THE MOST MONEY
BY THE END OF THE NIGHT
100
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:48,262
WILL WIN TWO FREE MOVIE PASSES
TO THE PAWNEE MONO-PLEX.
101
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,897
- YOU REALLY THINK
THAT'S GONNA MOTIVATE PEOPLE--
102
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,366
- OH, MY GOD.
103
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,469
I COULD USE THAT FOR A ROMANTIC
NIGHT WITH MILLICENT GERGICH.
104
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,271
OUT OF MY WAY,
SUCKERS.
105
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,373
AS CITY MANAGER,
I PLAY NO FAVORITES.
106
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:00,808
BUT AS A PRIVATE CITIZEN,
107
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,444
I AM FREE TO SUPPORT
WHOMEVER I CHOOSE,
108
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,479
AND I CHOOSE TO SUPPORT
TEAM KNOPE
109
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:08,048
'CAUSE THEY'RE THE BEST.
EVERYBODY'S THE BEST.
110
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:12,353
WE'RE ALL WINNERS.
111
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:13,687
- DO I LOOK LAID-BACK?
112
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,490
- YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE TRYING
TO LOOK LAID-BACK.
113
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,426
- HOW ABOUT NOW?
114
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,794
- I THINK JUST--MAYBE JUST STAND
HOW YOU WOULD NORMALLY STAND.
115
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,063
- OKAY.
116
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,499
I FORGET NOW.
HEY, RON.
117
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,635
THANKS FOR COMING, MAN.
- OF COURSE.
118
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,571
THIS BOWLING ALLEY HAS MY
FAVORITE RESTAURANT IN PAWNEE.
119
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,978
- REALLY?
YOU'RE NOT SCARED TO EAT HERE?
120
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:41,915
- WHEN I EAT,
IT IS THE FOOD THAT IS SCARED.
121
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,451
WHY ARE YOU
SITTING WEIRD?
122
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:46,520
- DAMN IT.
- WHO'S READY TO BOWL SO HARD?
123
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:49,089
TOMMY'S NEW BOWLING SWAG.
124
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,591
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHEN YOU DO IT,
125
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,959
YOU REALLY DO IT.
126
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,394
GOOD FOR YOU,
MAN.
127
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,963
- HELLO, I'M CALLING ON BEHALF
OF LESLIE KNOPE,
128
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,765
WHO IS RUNNING
FOR CITY COUNCIL.
129
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,701
IS THIS
DEIRDRE SPLATTERFORK?
130
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,902
THAT IS LITERALLY
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NAME
131
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,504
I HAVE EVER HEARD.
132
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,474
- NO, I DON'T THINK WE CAN
ACCEPT DONATIONS OVER $50.
133
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,508
- I DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHY YOU WOULD NEED
134
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,577
MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER,
135
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,445
BUT--WELL, YEAH, NO.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
136
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,581
I GUESS IT COULDN'T HURT
TO GIVE IT TO YOU. IT'S 210--
137
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,649
- ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
138
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:18,452
[chuckles]
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
139
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,354
- FINE, IF YOU DON'T WANNA
DONATE, THEN DON'T.
140
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,422
OH,
BY THE WAY...
141
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,924
[creepy voice] I'M CALLING
FROM INSIDE YOUR HOUSE.
142
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:27,561
- HA HA! $100.
- WHOA.
143
00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:30,964
- THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
I CANNOT BE STOPPED.
144
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,900
* COME ON NOW
GET SOME MONEY *
145
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,668
* COME ON, APRIL
GET AN EARPIECE *
146
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,069
* COME ON
DO IT *
147
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,270
- I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THAT PRIZE,
148
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:40,374
BUT I'M GONNA WIN BECAUSE I WANT
HIS HAPPINESS TO GO AWAY.
149
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,142
[sighs]
150
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,877
- TYPE IN "T REX"
FOR ME.
151
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:46,647
NO, NO, NO.
UM, "T-BOZ."
152
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,518
WAIT, WAIT.
"TOMMY TSUNAMI."
153
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,752
NO,
"TICKY TICKY TOM-TOM."
154
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,121
NO,
"FLY GUY."
155
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,389
- I WROTE "TOM."
156
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,458
- CLASSIC.
TIMELESS.
157
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,727
I LOVE IT.
158
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,963
- "GIRL"?
159
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,598
- I SAW YOUR AD
FROM WHEN YOU WERE A KID,
160
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,099
BUT IT'S NICE TO HAVE A BEER
AND GET TO KNOW YOU.
161
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,100
- AW,
THANKS, RICH.
162
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,470
OH, HERE.
SMILE.
163
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,439
MAYBE YOU'LL GET YOUR PICTURE
IN THE PAWNEE JOURNAL.
164
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:12,473
[camera snaps]
165
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,474
- HEY,
THIS IS GOING REALLY WELL.
166
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,042
PRETTY DECENT TURNOUT.
167
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,645
- YEAH, YOU KNOW, I FEEL VERY,
YOU KNOW, CASUAL, RELAXED.
168
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:21,549
- HEY, IS THAT THE GUY FROM
THE--FROM THE FOCUS GROUP?
169
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,817
- HUH.
I DON'T KNOW.
170
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,619
- I THINK IT IS.
- IS IT?
171
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,187
- EXCUSE ME, SIR,
WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME
172
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,457
HOW YOU HEARD
ABOUT THE EVENT TONIGHT?
173
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,059
- OH, UH, I GOT
A WEIRD INVITATION IN THE MAIL.
174
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,428
- I DIDN'T REALIZE WE WERE
SENDING OUT INVITATIONS.
175
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:35,929
- OH.
176
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:39,467
- HEY, YOU'RE THAT GIRL FROM
THE FOCUS GROUP THING I DID.
177
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,001
- OH, I WOULDN'T KNOW.
178
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,003
I'M NEVER ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE GLASS WITH THOSE THINGS.
179
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,538
- CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SEC?
180
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:48,642
- YEP.
181
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:50,778
- STRAIGHT DOWN
THE MIDDLE.
182
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,881
NO HOOK, NO SPIN,
NO FUSS.
183
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:58,619
ANYTHING MORE
AND THIS BECOMES FIGURE SKATING.
184
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,521
- COME ON,
BIG GIRL.
185
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,957
LET'S KNOCK
THESE LITTLE PINS DOWN.
186
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,662
- OH, MY GOD,
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
187
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,699
- SON,
PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU.
188
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,843
- BOOM!
[claps]
189
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,713
THAT RIGHT THERE--
TOMMY'S STRIKE.
190
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,848
- LESLIE, WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE BIG PICTURE?
191
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,216
- I'M THINKING
ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE.
192
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,551
I'M TRYING TO MAKE
THE PICTURE BIGGER
193
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:31,619
BY INCLUDING THIS GUY
IN IT.
194
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,655
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT
MY GENDER OR MY HEIGHT,
195
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:39,159
BUT I CAN WIN THAT GUY OVER
WITH A FUN ROUND OF BOWLING.
196
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,495
- WE NEED EVERYONE HERE TO SEE A
DIFFERENT SIDE OF LESLIE KNOPE,
197
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,696
NOT ONE SPECIFIC PERSON.
198
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,498
SOME PEOPLE JUST
AREN'T GONNA LIKE YOU.
199
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:47,200
LET IT GO.
- OKAY, I HEAR YOU.
200
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:50,137
I'LL TREAT HIM
JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
201
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,573
I'LL JUST SAY HI TO HIM,
SHAKE HIS HAND,
202
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,207
BUY A HIM
A FEW BEERS,
203
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,577
SHARE A FEW LAUGHS,
BOWL A FEW FRAMES,
204
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,145
LOSE INTENTIONALLY
TO MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD,
205
00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,146
FRIEND HIM
ON FACEBOOK.
206
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,516
AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT,
HE WILL BE MINE.
207
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,022
- WHOA,
"THAR" SHE BOWLS.
208
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,224
I'M LESLIE KNOPE.
209
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,660
YOU WANNA BOWL?
YOU WANNA BOWL TOGETHER?
210
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:13,661
YOU WANNA BE, LIKE,
BOWL BUDDIES?
211
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:14,562
- SURE.
212
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,264
- GREAT,
JUST A CASUAL GAME, YOU KNOW?
213
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:19,967
NO BIGGIE.
- YOU OKAY?
214
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,770
MY SISTER HAS SCOLIOSIS, AND I
THINK YOU MIGHT, YOU KNOW--
215
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,638
- OH, NO. NO, I'M JUST--
I'M JUST BEING CAS.
216
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,173
WHAT ARE YOU ROCKING?
A 15 POUNDER?
217
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,976
- 16.
- WHOA, HEY, GOOD FOR YOU.
218
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,311
OH, THERE THEY ARE. I JUST
ORDERED SOME WINGS FOR US.
219
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,646
YOU LIKE WINGS?
220
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,715
- LOVE THEM.
- REALLY? WHO KNEW?
221
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,851
I KNEW.
222
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:44,191
DAMN IT.
223
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,993
- WHY ARE YOU MAD?
YOU BOWLED A STRIKE.
224
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,596
- THAT'S HOW I MOTIVATE MYSELF,
YOU KNOW?
225
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,897
NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.
[clears throat]
226
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,799
LET ME GET YOU A BEER.
- COOL.
227
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:55,869
- THESE BEERS ARE AS COLD
AS THE TUKTOYAKTUK WINTER ROAD.
228
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,305
- YOU WATCH
ICE ROAD TRUCKERS?
229
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:01,108
- YEAH, DUDE.
IT'S MY GUILTY PLEASURE.
230
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:04,144
- TOM, I'M ASKING YOU AS A MAN
TO STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY.
231
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:16,056
- BOOM!
- WHAT THE [bleep]?
232
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,859
- HELLO,
IS THIS MRS. GALLIVAN?
233
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,129
WELL, MY NAME IS APRIL,
AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT,
234
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:25,633
I'M RAISING MONEY FOR A CITY
COUNCIL CANDIDATE I BELIEVE IN.
235
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,635
NO, MIRA, MIRA, MIRA,
MIRA, MIRA.
236
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,136
IT'S, LIKE,
WHATEVER YOU WANT.
237
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,704
LIKE, $10.
IT DON'T MATTER.
238
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,205
- [southern accent] WELL,
I RECKON IT'S JUST LIKE
239
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,708
GRAMMY MARTHA TOLD ME
AND MY COUSINS,
240
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,244
"YOU CAN'T EAT THE BISCUITS
IF YOU DON'T PAY FOR THE FLOUR."
241
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,247
[laughs, mouths words]
242
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,283
- PUT THE PHONE DOWN,
TAKE A DEEP BREATH,
243
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,019
AND THEN YOU
ARE GOING TO TELL STEVEN
244
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:49,990
THAT YOU WILL BE TREATED
WITH RESPECT, OKAY?
245
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,225
AND THANK YOU
FOR YOUR DONATION.
246
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,327
- WELL, GEE,
I DON'T KNOW, FRED.
247
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:58,231
ALL I KNOW IS THAT
I JUST WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD
248
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,967
THAT'S A BETTER PLACE,
249
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,870
AND YOUR CONTRIBUTION WILL
DEFINITELY HELP US GET THERE,
250
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:06,339
TO THE...
[sighs]
251
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:11,211
BETTER-PLACE WORLD,
FRED.
252
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,280
- YEEHAW!
253
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,349
MAN, MOVE OVER, PINS.
THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN.
254
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:20,253
YOU ARE SO DOWN WITH STRIKES,
THEY SHOULD CALL YOU NORMA RAE.
255
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,690
- WHO'S THAT?
- IT'S A...
256
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,758
SALLY FIELD MOVIE ABOUT UNIONS.
DOESN'T MATTER.
257
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,059
THE POINT IS,
YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT THIS.
258
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,361
- IT'S YOUR TURN.
TRY NOT TO BREAK A NAIL.
259
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:31,164
- AH, CLASSIC DEREK
WITH THE ZINGS.
260
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,966
MAN, THAT'S WHAT BOWLING
IS ALL ABOUT--HEY.
261
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,134
- HOW'S IT GOING?
262
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,335
- IT'S GOING REALLY GOOD.
- OH, GOOD.
263
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,037
- UM, WE'RE JUST HANGING OUT
AND HAVING A VERY GOOD TIME.
264
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,205
- OKAY, I JUST WANTED
TO REMIND YOU THAT
265
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:41,208
WHEN YOU'RE BOWLING, TRY NOT
TO FIXATE ON JUST ONE PIN.
266
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:44,277
YOU'RE TRYING TO KNOCK DOWN
A LOT OF PINS.
267
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,714
- I REALIZE THAT,
BUT I WILL KNOCK DOWN THIS PIN,
268
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,181
AND THEN THIS PIN WILL KNOCK
DOWN ALL THE OTHER PINS.
269
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,182
- REALLY?
- MM-HMM.
270
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,885
- HEY, COULD YOU GET ME
ANOTHER ONE OF THESE?
271
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,320
- I--
I DON'T WORK HERE.
272
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,022
- CLASSIC DEREK.
273
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,157
- I AM TAKING
A PROBIOTIC TEA BREAK.
274
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,458
AND WHILE THAT
IS HAPPENING,
275
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,659
I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHARE
SOME BIG NEWS.
276
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:03,731
I AM GOING TO ASK MILLICENT
GERGICH TO MOVE IN WITH ME.
277
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,133
D-I--I MEAN, IF THAT'S OKAY
WITH YOU OF COURSE, JERRY.
278
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,770
- UH, YEAH.
[chuckles] OF COURSE. SURE.
279
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,204
- THAT'S AWESOME,
MAN.
280
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,240
HEY, DO YOU GUYS WANNA LIVE HERE
WITH US AND BEN
281
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,142
AND CHAMPION,
THE THREE-LEGGED DOG?
282
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,278
- THAT IS AN AMAZING OFFER.
- YES!
283
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,280
- BUT I THINK WE'RE PROBABLY
GONNA GET OUR OWN PLACE.
284
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,249
I'M ALREADY WORKING
WITH A REAL ESTATE AGENT
285
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,817
TO FIND
AN OCTAGONAL HOUSE.
286
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,119
I'VE DONE SOME READING,
AND AN OCTAGON
287
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,188
IS THE OPTIMAL SHAPE FOR A HOME
IN TERMS OF ENERGY FLOW.
288
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,190
- YOU KNOW, CHRIS,
I HATE TO PULL RANK,
289
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,825
BUT IF YOU'RE GOING
TO TAKE A BREAK,
290
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,260
WOULD YOU MIND GOING
IN THE LIVING ROOM,
291
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,462
JUST, YOU KNOW, SO IT DOESN'T
DISTURB EVERYBODY ELSE.
292
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,398
- JERRY, I LOVE IT
WHEN YOU PULL RANK.
293
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:39,767
- YOU'RE BEING WEIRD.
WHY?
294
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,869
- MILLI'S GONNA BREAK UP
WITH CHRIS.
295
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,170
- [whispers]
SHUT UP.
296
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,171
- OH, MY GOD,
THAT'S GONNA SUPER WEIRD
297
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,839
WHEN THEY MOVE
IN TOGETHER.
298
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:49,209
- YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHEN, BUT
SHE IS DEFINITELY GONNA DO IT.
299
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,786
- NICE.
300
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,158
HEY, RON.
WERE YOU TRYING TO GET A SEVEN?
301
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,060
BECAUSE IF YOU WERE,
YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
302
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:11,164
- I AM VERY ANGRY
RIGHT NOW.
303
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:14,067
- [whines]
- WHAT?
304
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,904
[cries]
MY FINGER WAS IN THERE.
305
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,271
RON CRUSHED
MY FINGER.
306
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,273
I THINK
IT MIGHT BE BROKEN.
307
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:23,476
- ARE YOU A FEMALE BIRD?
- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
308
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:26,246
- OH, MY GOD,
IT'S ALREADY SWOLLEN.
309
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,782
- TOM, MY GOD, DO YOU HAVE
ANY PRIDE AT ALL?
310
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:31,184
- YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE.
YOU'RE JEALOUS OF MY GIFT.
311
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,520
- OKAY, COME ON, TWEETY BIRD,
LET'S GET YOU SOME ICE.
312
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,923
- IT HURTS.
- COME ON.
313
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:39,026
- WELL,
CONGRATULATIONS, MAN.
314
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:41,161
FUN MATCH, FUN GAME,
GOOD TIMES.
315
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,963
DID YOU HAVE FUN?
- YEAH.
316
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,498
I'M NOT ONE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
FREE BEER AND FREE BOWLING.
317
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,067
SEE YOU AROUND.
- OKAY.
318
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,936
- UH,
JUST ONE SECOND.
319
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:52,272
I'M RUNNING FOR CITY COUNCIL,
AS YOU KNOW,
320
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,541
AND UH, JUST WONDERING,
DO I HAVE YOUR VOTE?
321
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:57,077
- NO.
- [chuckles] DEREK.
322
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,545
YOU OLD SO-AND-SO.
323
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,013
FOR REALS,
CAN I COUNT ON YOUR VOTE?
324
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,482
- YEAH, NO, UM,
I DON'T THINK SO.
325
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:06,186
- BUT WE'VE BEEN HERE
BOWLING ALL NIGHT,
326
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,420
AND WE'VE BEEN HAVING FUN.
327
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:11,191
AND YOU'RE STILL NOT
GONNA VOTE FOR ME? WHY?
328
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:14,261
- I DON'T LIKE YOU, OKAY?
- LESLIE, LESLIE.
329
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,296
- WELL,
YOU'RE A CRAPPY BOWLER,
330
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,831
AND I PRETENDED
TO LOSE TO YOU.
331
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,867
- YEAH, RIGHT.
I DESTROYED YOU.
332
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,034
- NO, IT'S TRUE.
333
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,603
I AM A REALLY GOOD BOWLER.
ASK RON.
334
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,205
- I DON'T KNOW
WHO RON IS.
335
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,907
BUT IF YOU'RE SO GREAT,
LET'S PLAY AGAIN.
336
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,241
- GOOD.
I'D LOVE TO.
337
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,310
TELL YOU WHAT, IF I WIN,
I GET YOUR VOTE.
338
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,379
- IF I WIN, YOU CLEAN
MY HOUSE FOR A MONTH.
339
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,014
- DONE.
- HEY, LESLIE.
340
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:36,183
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY GOOD FRIEND, ANYONE ELSE.
341
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,484
NOT NOW, BEN.
342
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,920
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
DEREK'S ASS TO MY FOOT.
343
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,955
- GET ME ANOTHER BEER.
344
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,190
- I DON'T WORK HERE.
345
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,392
- $20?
THANK YOU.
346
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,494
UH, YOU KNOW, WE'RE REALLY
LOOKING FOR DONATIONS
347
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,297
MORE IN THE $10,000 RANGE.
348
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,165
- HI, GUYS.
- HEY.
349
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,034
JUST ONE SECOND.
LET ME GET OFF THIS CALL.
350
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:58,605
HI, I'M SO SORRY.
I'M BACK.
351
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:01,942
- [clears throat]
352
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:08,215
- [whistling]
353
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:11,418
WHAT, CHAMPION?
YOU NEED TO GO OUTSIDE NOW?
354
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,221
COME ON.
THAT A BOY.
355
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:19,026
SORRY, HE'S--
HATES AWKWARD SITUATIONS.
356
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:27,334
- OH!
357
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,402
- TERRIBLE MOONWALK.
- DON'T CARE.
358
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,208
- YEAH, WHAT'S UP NOW,
HUH?
359
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:39,346
- AW, YOU GOT A SPARE.
THAT'S SO CUTE.
360
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,181
CHECK OUT
THE SCOREBOARD.
361
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,651
- SO MILLICENT AND I ARE GOING
TO TAKE A NICE LITTLE STROLL,
362
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:45,852
AND I'LL BE BACK SOON.
363
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:46,619
- YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO TAKE
THE REST OF THE NIGHT OFF,
364
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,455
YOU KNOW,
THAT WOULD BE FINE.
365
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,323
- WELL, I DON'T THINK
THAT WILL BE NECESSARY.
366
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:53,326
UNLESS YOU ALSO WANT
TO GO GET DINNER.
367
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,395
- NOPE,
THIS WON'T TAKE TOO LONG.
368
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,564
- CHRIS, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO TAKE A JACKET WITH YOU.
369
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,967
IT'S ABOUT TO GET COLD
OUT THERE.
370
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,568
- THANKS, DONNA, BUT MILLICENT'S
COMPANY WILL KEEP ME WARM.
371
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,103
- TAKE THE JACKET.
372
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:06,239
- I WISHED FOR HIS HAPPINESS
TO GO AWAY.
373
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:09,242
I MIGHT BE
A WIZARD.
374
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,981
- HEY, DEREK.
WHAT A DEFEAT, MAN.
375
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:16,216
I MEAN, I DID NOT EXPECT
TO WIN BY THAT MUCH.
376
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,351
BUT I WARNED YOU,
I AM A GOOD BOWLER.
377
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,453
- WHATEVER.
- ALL JOKING ASIDE,
378
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,389
I WANNA SAY
THAT I ACTUALLY HAD FUN.
379
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,558
AND I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO YOUR VOTE IN THE SPRING.
380
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,660
- YEAH, I'LL JUST WRITE
IN "BITCH."
381
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,396
- I'M SORRY,
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
382
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,398
- JUST IGNORE HIM.
HE'S BEING A JERK.
383
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,466
- I SAID
SHE'S A BITCH.
384
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,969
- OH, MY GOD.
- WHAT THE HELL?
385
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,205
- I'M SO SORRY.
386
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:40,340
I'M SO SORRY.
- THAT WAS AWESOME.
387
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:44,077
- I'M SO SORRY.
388
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:51,118
- OH, LOOK.
HERE'S THAT PHOTO OP YOU WANTED.
389
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,185
- SO YOU KNOW, TH--
THAT'S EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED.
390
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,186
SO IT WAS JUST WHAT HAPPENED.
IT WAS JUST LIKE,
391
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,022
[imitates gunfire]
392
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,756
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW, I JUST--
393
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,624
I HAVE A LOT OF ADRENALINE
RIGHT NOW.
394
00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:00,327
- JUST TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS,
OKAY?
395
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,728
- THE GUY SAID
HE MIGHT PRESS CHARGES.
396
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,230
- YEAH, WELL, RANDY,
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW
397
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,664
THAT WE WILL NOT
BE PRESSING CHARGES.
398
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,233
- YEAH, THAT REALLY
WASN'T AN OPTION.
399
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,168
- COME ON, THE GUY
WAS BEING A TOTAL JERK.
400
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,003
WHAT BEN DID
WAS WARRANTED
401
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:11,638
AND EXTREMELY AWESOME,
BY THE WAY.
402
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,540
DID YOU WRITE DOWN
HOW AWESOME IT WAS?
403
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:14,707
- WHEN WE WRITE
OFFICIAL REPORTS,
404
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:17,510
WE REFRAIN FROM USING WORDS
LIKE "JERK" OR "AWESOME."
405
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,712
- HEY, HERE YOU GO.
- HEY.
406
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,614
- WOW, YOU AND ME, HUH?
HURT "FINGIES."
407
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,051
- NO, NO,
TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT INJURIES.
408
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:27,087
- OKAY, YOU--
JUST HANG IN THERE, OKAY?
409
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,189
OKAY, LOVE YOU TOO.
BYE-BYE.
410
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,691
WELL, THAT WAS MILLI.
IT HAPPENED.
411
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,026
SHE BROKE UP
WITH CHRIS.
412
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,028
- BOO.
- DAMN YOU, JERRY.
413
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:37,064
- IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
414
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,066
- WELL, I FEEL SORRY
FOR THE MAN.
415
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,201
- WELL, ANYWAY, THE FUNDRAISING
CHALLENGE IS OVER,
416
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,036
AND THE WINNER--
WHOA.
417
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,205
WE HAVE A SURPRISE WINNER,
APRIL.
418
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:48,241
APRIL WINS TWO TICKETS
TO THE PAWNEE MONO-PLEX.
419
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:51,778
- [laughs] YES.
THAT'S MY WIFE.
420
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,082
- OKAY,
EVERYTHING'S SETTLED HERE.
421
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,084
WANNA HEAD HOME?
- NO.
422
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,752
WE HAVEN'T FINISHED YET.
LAST FRAME, YOUR TURN.
423
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:02,722
- HE HURT HIS HAND.
- LAST FRAME, GO.
424
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,625
- FINE, I'LL BOWL ONE-HANDED,
LIKE AN IDIOT.
425
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,468
WHOO!
- OH, COME ON.
426
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,304
- KING KONG
AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME.
427
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,139
OW, MY "FINGIE"
STILL HURTS.
428
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,608
- OH, THE BRAVERY.
THE PERSEVERANCE.
429
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:22,642
YOU'RE AN AMERICAN HERO.
430
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,677
- AND THE BEST PART IS,
BEAUTIFUL,
431
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,814
YOU GET TO DRIVE
THE CHAMPION HOME.
432
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,117
- WELL, THE HEADLINE
I WOULD'VE GONE WITH IS
433
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:35,088
"NO-STRIKE-BOWLING BOWLER STRUCK
BY KNOPE'S STRIKING BEAU."
434
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:35,822
- OKAY, ONE MORE TIME.
435
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,824
LET ME RESIGN.
436
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,292
IT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT TRULY PROTECTS YOU.
437
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:41,328
- NON-STARTER.
438
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,564
- [sighs] OKAY.
NOW WHEN YOU TAKE QUESTIONS,
439
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:47,100
I THINK YOU SHOULD BE
BRIEF AND SINCERE.
440
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,768
DON'T TRY TO JUSTIFY
WHAT I DID.
441
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,870
JUST APOLOGIZE AGAIN,
AND STAY ON SCRIPT.
442
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,106
ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU DON'T NEED
MORE WHIPPED CREAM?
443
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,175
- NOT TODAY.
I DON'T DESERVE IT.
444
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:59,779
I GOT US INTO THIS MESS BECAUSE
I WAS FIXATING ON THAT GUY.
445
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,181
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
446
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,882
I DO NEED MORE WHIPPED CREAM.
MA'AM.
447
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,185
[knock at door]
448
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,686
- HI.
449
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,822
- APRIL LUDGATE.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
450
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:13,860
- UH, WHATEVER.
I'M FINE.
451
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:14,827
UM, HOW ARE YOU?
452
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,864
- WELL, AS YOU MAY KNOW,
MILLICENT GERGICH
453
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,166
ENDED OUR RELATIONSHIP
LAST NIGHT,
454
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,668
WHICH WAS DISAPPOINTING.
455
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,537
BUT HERE'S WHY
456
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:28,107
IT MAY BE THE GREATEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED.
457
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:37,217
- YEAH,
GOOD POINT.
458
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,918
HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT
THAT WAY.
459
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:42,889
UM, HERE.
460
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,257
TAKE THESE TICKETS.
461
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,159
- OH, NO, NO, NO.
Y-YOU EARNED THEM.
462
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:46,893
- THEY'RE MOVIE TICKETS,
CHRIS.
463
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,329
THEY'RE, LIKE,
8 BUCKS.
464
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,330
IT'S A GESTURE.
465
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,464
- THERE ARE
THREE OF THEM.
466
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:52,299
I THOUGHT
THERE WERE ONLY TWO.
467
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,334
- YEAH, I KNOW,
I BOUGHT ANOTHER ONE
468
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:57,170
BECAUSE I THOUGHT
THAT MAYBE YOU, ME, AND ANDY
469
00:18:57,204 --> 00:19:01,641
COULD GO
TO THE MOVIES SOMETIME.
470
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,876
JUST TAKE
THE STUPID TICKETS.
471
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,912
I'M JUST TRYING
TO BE NICE.
472
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:10,450
- THANK YOU.
- THERE YOU GO.
473
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,553
OKAY, BYE.
474
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,522
- LESLIE, ARE YOU GOING
TO FIRE BEN WYATT?
475
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:16,956
- ARE YOU GOING
TO SUSPEND YOUR CAMPAIGN?
476
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,592
- I'D LIKE TO FIRST START
BY SAYING THANK YOU FOR COMING.
477
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,361
AND ON BEHALF
OF BEN WYATT
478
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,330
AND EVERYONE INVOLVED
IN MY CAMPAIGN,
479
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:25,498
I'M VERY SORRY
FOR WHAT HAPPENED
480
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:29,336
AT THE ROCK N' ROLL
BOWLING ALLEY LAST NIGHT.
481
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,772
YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO, I'M NOT.
482
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,207
[scoffs] I--
I'M NOT SORRY.
483
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:37,410
THIS GUY WAS DRUNK,
AND HE WAS AGGRESSIVE.
484
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,945
AND HE WAS RUDE,
AND HE WAS FOUL-MOUTHED.
485
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:42,315
AND HE CALLED ME BY MY SECOND
LEAST FAVORITE TERM FOR A WOMAN,
486
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,417
AND MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER
PUNCHED HIM.
487
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:45,685
I DO NOT CONDONE
VIOLENCE,
488
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:48,821
BUT I HAVE TO BE HONEST,
IT WAS AWESOME.
489
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:52,525
AND MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER AND I
MADE OUT A LOT AFTERWARD.
490
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:53,960
AH, I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID THAT.
491
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,995
BUT THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
492
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,731
DEREK HATES ME, AND I DON'T
PARTICULARLY LIKE HIM.
493
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:03,403
SO WHAT'S THE POINT,
RIGHT, DEREK?
494
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,472
- I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BEING
KIND OF A BITCH RIGHT NOW.
495
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,840
- SEE?
SO I'M NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE.
496
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,842
AND IF PEOPLE WON'T VOTE
FOR ME BECAUSE OF THAT,
497
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,344
WELL, THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
498
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,012
BUT YOU SHOULD BE WARNED.
499
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,981
IF YOU DO NOT VOTE
FOR ME,
500
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,584
MY BOYFRIEND
MIGHT BEAT YOU UP.
501
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,352
NOW IF ANYONE
HAS ANY QUESTIONS
502
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:23,423
ABOUT THE ISSUES FACING OUR
CITY, I'M RIGHT HERE.
503
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:26,259
- OKAY, WHAT ARE YOUR OVERALL
IMPRESSIONS OF THIS WOMAN?
504
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:29,762
WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT HER?
WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT HER?
505
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:30,897
- I LIKE HER.
- WHAT DO YOU LIKE
506
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:31,764
ABOUT HER
SPECIFICALLY?
507
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:33,966
- I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S TOUGH, I GUESS.
508
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,034
I JUST LIKE HER.
509
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,937
- I LIKE THAT THAT ONE GUY
PUNCHED THAT OTHER GUY,
510
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,707
AND THEN I LIKE
THAT SHE STOOD BY HIM.
511
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,442
- SEE?
PEOPLE VOTE WITH THEIR GUT.
512
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,944
- YEAH, THAT GUY SAID
HE DIDN'T LIKE MY EARRINGS.
513
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:49,649
GO PUNCH HIM.
- SURE.
514
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:50,517
- HERE YOU GO.
LANE EIGHT.
515
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:54,253
- NO, LANE 22.
THE ONE AT THE VERY END.
516
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,529
SON OF A BITCH.
517
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:08,568
[grunting]
518
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:18,678
- HEY, PERFECT GAME.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
519
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:19,912
PUT IT UP
ON A WALL.
520
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,448
- I WAS NEVER HERE,
521
00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,316
AND YOU WILL NEVER SPEAK
OF THIS AGAIN.
522
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:27,916
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