Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,652 --> 00:00:02,951
Oh hey, Ben.
2
00:00:02,952 --> 00:00:05,551
Have you seen my complete
collection of all
3
00:00:05,552 --> 00:00:07,103
193 national flags?
4
00:00:07,452 --> 00:00:09,103
Ooh! Here they are.
5
00:00:09,852 --> 00:00:10,851
Wow!
6
00:00:10,952 --> 00:00:13,851
So, I've been asked to run
this year's Model UN
7
00:00:13,952 --> 00:00:15,451
at Pawnee Central High School.
8
00:00:15,652 --> 00:00:16,751
Attendance has been low.
9
00:00:17,152 --> 00:00:19,551
And if I don't make it awesome,
they may cancel it.
10
00:00:20,752 --> 00:00:23,051
I wonder if I'm gonna make it awesome.
11
00:00:23,852 --> 00:00:26,251
...Or I can be South Korea,
you can be Bangladesh.
12
00:00:26,252 --> 00:00:28,703
You can form like a
Trans-Asiatic alliance.
13
00:00:28,754 --> 00:00:30,588
Yeah, I like it.
And I see the merits of it.
14
00:00:30,623 --> 00:00:32,456
I just worry
if we're both in Asia,
15
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,425
- it might limit our scope.
- Mm.
16
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:35,927
I kinda want to roll up
my sleeves
17
00:00:35,961 --> 00:00:38,463
and make geopolitical
problem-solving my bitch.
18
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:39,997
Amen, brother.
19
00:00:40,015 --> 00:00:42,600
Let's go back to plan "A."
I'll be Denmark, you be Peru.
20
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:43,518
Yes!
21
00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:44,836
Oh, I didn't really do
22
00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:48,239
Model United Nations
in high school, so...
23
00:00:48,273 --> 00:00:50,641
Oh, wait.
I super-did.
24
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:52,026
I need a few more
volunteers.
25
00:00:52,061 --> 00:00:53,278
Andy, will you be Iceland?
26
00:00:53,312 --> 00:00:54,646
The bad guys
from Mighty Ducks 2?
27
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,414
- Don't think so.
- Okay, how about Japan?
28
00:00:56,448 --> 00:00:58,449
The bad guys
from Karate Kid 2?
29
00:00:58,984 --> 00:01:01,535
Even worse.
How 'bout Germany?
30
00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:03,120
They've never been
the bad guys.
31
00:01:03,155 --> 00:01:04,538
Why don't you be Finland?
32
00:01:04,573 --> 00:01:05,706
- Okay.
- Okay?
33
00:01:05,741 --> 00:01:06,958
And I'll be the Moon.
34
00:01:06,992 --> 00:01:09,210
No, you're gonna be
South Africa or...
35
00:01:09,245 --> 00:01:11,379
- Pakistan.
- I'm the Moon, or I quit.
36
00:01:11,413 --> 00:01:13,364
- April.
- Moon or quit, man.
37
00:01:13,399 --> 00:01:14,832
Fine. You be South Africa,
38
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,417
and you can also secretly
run the moon.
39
00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,669
The Moon accepts
your ridiculous proposal.
40
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:19,921
Ron! You wanna join us?
41
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,539
Look!
I'll let you be America.
42
00:01:23,409 --> 00:01:25,676
And teach kids that not
only is government good
43
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,796
but that there should be
a World-wide super-government?
44
00:01:28,847 --> 00:01:31,299
I'd rather sand down
my toenails.
45
00:01:31,350 --> 00:01:34,218
Every three weeks, I have
to sand down my toenails.
46
00:01:34,953 --> 00:01:36,721
They're too strong
for clippers.
47
00:01:39,758 --> 00:01:44,982
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:01:58,309 --> 00:01:59,043
Excuse me.
49
00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,245
Are you Leslie Knope?
Oh, what am I talking about?
50
00:02:01,279 --> 00:02:04,482
- Of course you are.
- Bonjour, Madame Ambassadeur.
51
00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:06,300
Thank you so much for coming
52
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,519
and trying to help save
our club.
53
00:02:08,554 --> 00:02:09,837
We're so excited to see
54
00:02:09,888 --> 00:02:11,973
a true Pawnee Model U.N.
legend in action.
55
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,257
- Thank you. - I really wouldn't
describe myself
56
00:02:13,292 --> 00:02:15,426
as a Model U.N. legend.
57
00:02:15,461 --> 00:02:18,179
I'd go with icon.
Or hero.
58
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:21,332
Look, if you ask me,
Enron is down but not out.
59
00:02:21,366 --> 00:02:23,501
Who doesn't like
a comeback story?
60
00:02:23,535 --> 00:02:26,204
All right, you wanna hear
my plan, get at me later.
61
00:02:26,238 --> 00:02:27,738
I gotta meet up
with an old friend.
62
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,023
All right, peace, man.
63
00:02:29,574 --> 00:02:30,875
Let's go do this lunch thing.
64
00:02:30,909 --> 00:02:32,777
I just have one more
quick interview.
65
00:02:32,811 --> 00:02:35,379
I'm still trying to find
your replacement.
66
00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:38,449
That is, unless you want
your old job back.
67
00:02:38,484 --> 00:02:40,618
I told you before, Ronseph,
I moved on to bigger things.
68
00:02:40,652 --> 00:02:43,671
E720 going under
was a blessing.
69
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,790
I'm tearing it up
all over town like a boss.
70
00:02:45,824 --> 00:02:47,758
Sounds great, Tommy.
71
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,545
I've offered Tom his job back
several times,
72
00:02:50,596 --> 00:02:52,597
and each time he's told me
he's just too busy
73
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,382
being an entrepreneur.
74
00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:55,733
Then two days ago,
75
00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:58,769
I saw him spraying cologne
samples at Macy's.
76
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,439
The young man
has a lot of pride.
77
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,541
This isn't gonna be easy.
78
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:05,442
Ann Perkins.
79
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,811
- Hey, Chris, how's it going?
- Not good.
80
00:03:06,845 --> 00:03:08,246
- Can I talk to you?
- Okay.
81
00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:10,014
I'm not sure
if you're aware,
82
00:03:10,048 --> 00:03:11,382
but I am romantically
involved
83
00:03:11,616 --> 00:03:14,017
with Jerry Gergich's
surprisingly hot daughter
84
00:03:14,051 --> 00:03:15,185
- Millicent Gergich.
- Yeah.
85
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:16,553
You were grinding with her
pretty hard
86
00:03:16,588 --> 00:03:18,021
at April's Halloween party.
87
00:03:18,055 --> 00:03:20,524
That's correct. Anyway,
we've been on four dates,
88
00:03:20,558 --> 00:03:21,509
but now Millicent Gergich
89
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,660
hasn't returned
my last two phone calls.
90
00:03:23,695 --> 00:03:25,746
I think the relationship
may be in trouble,
91
00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:26,997
and I don't know why.
92
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,799
Wow. A four-date-long
relationship
93
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,834
might not be 100% perfect?
94
00:03:30,869 --> 00:03:33,670
I think you should launch
a full-scale investigation.
95
00:03:33,705 --> 00:03:36,307
The root of sarcasm
is truth, Ann.
96
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,593
I am going to launch
a full-scale investigation.
97
00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,645
And I sincerely thank you
for that suggestion.
98
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,548
Glad I could help
in these trying times.
99
00:03:44,582 --> 00:03:46,384
Sarcasm again!
100
00:03:46,418 --> 00:03:49,353
You're a delight.
101
00:03:49,388 --> 00:03:51,622
You've all been
preparing for months
102
00:03:51,656 --> 00:03:53,474
for this year's
geopolitical scenario...
103
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,459
global food crisis.
104
00:03:55,494 --> 00:03:59,029
Security Council,
we need you to lead us,
105
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:01,565
or billions of people
will starve to death.
106
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,702
But most importantly,
have fun.
107
00:04:04,736 --> 00:04:06,303
Due to my campaign,
108
00:04:06,338 --> 00:04:08,939
the romantic aspect
of our relationship is over.
109
00:04:08,974 --> 00:04:10,408
And I'm totally fine
with that.
110
00:04:10,442 --> 00:04:12,343
But Ben and I have so much
in common.
111
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,828
I mean,
we're amazing friends.
112
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,212
And friendship is better
113
00:04:15,247 --> 00:04:17,047
because friends help you move.
114
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,467
They drive you to the airport.
115
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:23,254
Boyfriends just...
love you and marry you.
116
00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,558
Jerry! I am launching
a full-scale investigation
117
00:04:27,592 --> 00:04:29,226
into my romantic relationship
with your daughter
118
00:04:29,261 --> 00:04:30,561
Millicent Gergich,
119
00:04:30,595 --> 00:04:32,346
and I thought I could pick
your brain.
120
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,898
Aw, jeez, I really shouldn't
be involved in someth...
121
00:04:33,932 --> 00:04:36,233
Quick recap...
things were going wonderfully.
122
00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:38,102
We clicked
on an emotional level.
123
00:04:38,136 --> 00:04:40,438
And then suddenly, I just
stopped hearing from her.
124
00:04:40,472 --> 00:04:43,324
Now, you must know her
pretty well... what gives?
125
00:04:43,358 --> 00:04:44,542
Here's what I saw go down.
126
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,026
Donna! Yeah!
Get in on this.
127
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,361
You're too accessible.
128
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,280
Every time she calls,
you answer.
129
00:04:49,314 --> 00:04:51,215
You gotta dangle the carrot,
130
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,716
literally
and metaphorically.
131
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,335
- Thank you, Donna!
- Thanks, Donna.
132
00:04:54,369 --> 00:04:56,954
So...Courtney.
133
00:04:56,988 --> 00:04:59,256
This says you retired
in 1968.
134
00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:00,624
No, no, no.
135
00:05:00,659 --> 00:05:04,595
I was fired because I made
a pass at an ethnic woman.
136
00:05:04,629 --> 00:05:07,898
And what have you been doing
for the last 43 years?
137
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,867
Oh, you know,
hitchhiking around.
138
00:05:09,901 --> 00:05:12,937
I went to Mexico.
I met a lot of ethnic girls.
139
00:05:12,971 --> 00:05:15,105
They grow on trees
down there.
140
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,807
I was in jail for a spell...
141
00:05:16,841 --> 00:05:19,477
That about
brings it up to date.
142
00:05:19,511 --> 00:05:20,844
Sounds to me
like you're ready
143
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,613
to get back in the game,
Courtney.
144
00:05:22,647 --> 00:05:24,682
We'll be in touch.
145
00:05:26,184 --> 00:05:28,068
Another very strong
candidate.
146
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,487
Are you insane?
147
00:05:29,521 --> 00:05:30,988
He was a million-year-old
racist!
148
00:05:31,022 --> 00:05:33,724
He said he liked
ethnic girls, Tom.
149
00:05:33,758 --> 00:05:35,426
I'm sorry, Ron,
but I created a legacy here,
150
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,827
and I need to make sure
it's protected.
151
00:05:37,361 --> 00:05:38,462
Let's bring in
some more people.
152
00:05:38,897 --> 00:05:39,797
In my four years here,
153
00:05:39,831 --> 00:05:42,233
I revolutionized the position
of administrator
154
00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:43,667
and made this place cool.
155
00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,135
I was the first person
156
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:46,604
to abbreviate Parks and
Recreation Department.
157
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,072
First it was
Parks and Recreation.
158
00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:49,306
Then Parks and Rec.
159
00:05:49,341 --> 00:05:50,741
Then P&R.
160
00:05:50,775 --> 00:05:53,343
Then lengthened it
just a little bit to...
161
00:05:53,377 --> 00:05:54,745
Tommy's place.
162
00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:56,847
Okay, wait a minute.
I think I have it.
163
00:05:56,881 --> 00:05:58,315
What if we dropped
interest rates.
164
00:05:58,350 --> 00:05:59,617
- Would that help you?
- Maybe.
165
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,318
But what if Brazil
and Argentina
166
00:06:01,353 --> 00:06:03,437
use their oil deposits
as collateral?
167
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,122
Oh, that's really good.
168
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,624
Under-exaggerate much,
France?
169
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:07,791
Ha ha!
170
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,443
Nice!
171
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:12,162
Hey, Leslie, you ready?
172
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,697
- Oh! - Ow.
- Sorry. - That's okay.
173
00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:14,949
- Hi, William.
- Hi. You ready?
174
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,452
Yes. Absolutely. Um...They
want me to do a photo op
175
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,670
for the campaign
176
00:06:19,705 --> 00:06:21,539
so I can bolster
my education credentials.
177
00:06:21,573 --> 00:06:24,208
- Can we just press pause here?
- How long is it gonna take?
178
00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:24,876
I'm not really sure.
179
00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:26,928
Can you just tread water
until I'm ready?
180
00:06:26,962 --> 00:06:28,246
Oh, sure, yeah.
181
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,597
I'll just tread water
until you're ready.
182
00:06:29,631 --> 00:06:30,715
Thanks, buddy.
183
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,883
Leslie and I
aren't dating anymore,
184
00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:34,351
but, uh, we're friends.
185
00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:36,353
So it's fun.
It's just fun.
186
00:06:36,388 --> 00:06:40,057
It's fun...
it's... fun...
187
00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:41,959
It is fun.
188
00:06:41,993 --> 00:06:43,861
Thanks a lot.
189
00:06:43,895 --> 00:06:45,229
Yes!
190
00:06:45,263 --> 00:06:49,033
Honey! I just traded Finland's
military to Kenya
191
00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:51,368
for 50 lions.
192
00:06:51,903 --> 00:06:53,237
That's pretty good, right?
193
00:06:53,271 --> 00:06:54,989
- Yeah...
- Okay.
194
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,374
But also militaries
are pretty good
195
00:06:57,409 --> 00:06:59,043
at protecting countries.
196
00:06:59,077 --> 00:07:00,611
But so are lions.
197
00:07:00,645 --> 00:07:02,329
And you don't have to
pay them.
198
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,647
These kids are idiots.
199
00:07:03,682 --> 00:07:05,382
I've just traded
all of Finland's boring stuff
200
00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:07,251
for every other country's
lions?
201
00:07:07,285 --> 00:07:09,486
I definitely have more lions
202
00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:11,622
than any other country
in the whole world right now.
203
00:07:11,656 --> 00:07:13,057
I have no idea
what's going on.
204
00:07:13,091 --> 00:07:15,059
But if that ends up meaning
something in this game,
205
00:07:15,493 --> 00:07:17,494
I'd say I'm set.
206
00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:21,398
Hey, so Russia and China
207
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:22,850
are about to propose
their own plan,
208
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,602
so the kids kinda want
to get ours out there.
209
00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:27,404
Oh, okay... this should probably
only take five more minutes.
210
00:07:27,439 --> 00:07:29,023
Let's say 10 or 15
to be safe.
211
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,824
Well, how about
me make it a cool 40?
212
00:07:30,859 --> 00:07:32,526
I'm sorry.
It's just important.
213
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,945
Well, this is important too.
It's kinda why we came here.
214
00:07:34,979 --> 00:07:36,997
I'm sorry, could you...
Just step over here?
215
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:39,500
- You're in the shot.
- Oh, of course.
216
00:07:40,034 --> 00:07:41,368
Her life is so awesome.
217
00:07:42,119 --> 00:07:43,020
You're lucky you're friends
with her.
218
00:07:43,055 --> 00:07:45,589
Shut up, Bulgaria!
219
00:07:48,453 --> 00:07:50,552
I know, well, that's the
great thing about treaties,
220
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,270
- It doesn't even matter.
- Hey! I'm back.
221
00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,155
Or, as they say in Denmark...
"I'm back."
222
00:07:54,189 --> 00:07:55,422
Most people speak English.
223
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,391
So are you guys ready
to polish off this treaty?
224
00:07:57,425 --> 00:08:00,844
Oh, uh... actually,
I merged our treaty
225
00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:03,314
with Russia
and China's treaty.
226
00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:05,366
I got cut out
of my own treaty?
227
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,451
Yeah. I got sick
of treading water,
228
00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:10,738
so I swam over to Asia,
made a deal.
229
00:08:11,772 --> 00:08:14,374
The nation of Denmark
would like to formerly request
230
00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:15,910
a summit
with the nation of Peru
231
00:08:15,944 --> 00:08:17,911
over there
by the refreshment table.
232
00:08:17,945 --> 00:08:20,715
Because the nation of Denmark
needs a juice box.
233
00:08:21,449 --> 00:08:23,417
I am shocked an appalled
by the actions
234
00:08:23,451 --> 00:08:25,519
of the honorable delegate
from Peru.
235
00:08:25,553 --> 00:08:27,521
Leslie, just...
236
00:08:27,555 --> 00:08:29,489
look...
237
00:08:29,524 --> 00:08:31,341
I thought I could handle
being friends with you.
238
00:08:31,392 --> 00:08:33,760
But I can't, okay?
239
00:08:33,795 --> 00:08:35,028
Now, we agreed the other night
240
00:08:35,063 --> 00:08:38,198
that we can't spend time
together.
241
00:08:38,233 --> 00:08:40,067
I think that was
the right call.
242
00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:41,351
But that was in
a romantic way.
243
00:08:41,402 --> 00:08:43,670
We can still spend time
together as friends.
244
00:08:43,705 --> 00:08:45,105
It doesn't work that way.
245
00:08:45,139 --> 00:08:47,241
You can't just chop up
the aspects of a relationship
246
00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:48,525
into discrete parts
247
00:08:48,576 --> 00:08:51,028
and select the ones you want
like a buffet.
248
00:08:51,079 --> 00:08:54,281
- Why not?
- Because it's selfish.
249
00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:56,850
Stop being obtuse.
250
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,885
Look, I understand
where he's coming from.
251
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,921
But I have been nothing
but straightforward with him,
252
00:09:00,955 --> 00:09:03,123
and if anyone
in the entire world
253
00:09:03,157 --> 00:09:05,626
should understand the difficult
position I'm in, it's...
254
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:08,378
It's just I've made an effort
255
00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,347
and I've shared
my flags with him,
256
00:09:10,381 --> 00:09:12,232
and suddenly,
he doesn't want to be friends?
257
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:12,967
You know what?
258
00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:15,302
That leaves me
with only one option.
259
00:09:15,336 --> 00:09:17,137
Just excuse me for a...
260
00:09:18,239 --> 00:09:20,541
Attention.
This is an urgent world matter.
261
00:09:20,575 --> 00:09:22,859
Due to a recent betrayal,
my homeland,
262
00:09:22,894 --> 00:09:23,944
the great state of Denmark,
263
00:09:23,979 --> 00:09:27,230
has officially decided
to declare war on Peru.
264
00:09:27,282 --> 00:09:30,584
Scandinavian brothers,
on my signal.
265
00:09:30,618 --> 00:09:32,486
Unleash hell!
266
00:09:34,789 --> 00:09:37,574
See, I just don't believe
in this whole
267
00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:39,626
don't let people know
how you feel nonsense.
268
00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:41,595
I love telling people
how I feel.
269
00:09:41,629 --> 00:09:42,862
Mostly because
I love most people.
270
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,381
And I love telling them
that I love them.
271
00:09:44,415 --> 00:09:45,932
You didn't tell that girl
you love her, did you?
272
00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:47,968
- No. I'm not crazy.
- What is this urgent meeting
273
00:09:48,002 --> 00:09:49,419
with Donna and Jerry?
274
00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:50,754
Ann Perkins.
I took your advice.
275
00:09:50,806 --> 00:09:52,573
- My sarcastic advice.
- Precisely.
276
00:09:52,607 --> 00:09:53,508
And we're getting
to the bottom
277
00:09:53,542 --> 00:09:55,926
of what's going on
with me and Jerry's daughter,
278
00:09:55,977 --> 00:09:57,427
and I thought you would be
a tremendous addition
279
00:09:57,478 --> 00:09:58,646
to this think tank.
280
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,647
This is incredibly
inappropriate.
281
00:10:00,682 --> 00:10:02,766
- Oh, thank you!
- Okay, I'm game.
282
00:10:04,218 --> 00:10:05,819
No. I'm not kidding.
283
00:10:05,853 --> 00:10:07,771
My name's Gary,
and I'm from Gary, Indiana.
284
00:10:07,822 --> 00:10:08,772
Amazing.
285
00:10:08,824 --> 00:10:10,057
People like hearing that.
286
00:10:10,091 --> 00:10:12,192
It's probably one of my
stronger anecdotes.
287
00:10:12,226 --> 00:10:15,195
A fact is not
an anecdote, Gary.
288
00:10:15,229 --> 00:10:16,446
Here's an anecdote...
289
00:10:16,497 --> 00:10:18,699
Today I met the most
boring man in the world.
290
00:10:18,733 --> 00:10:20,267
His name was Gary.
291
00:10:20,301 --> 00:10:21,268
Hmm.
292
00:10:21,302 --> 00:10:23,270
Now...
293
00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:24,705
Keith.
294
00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:26,173
Under sex, you wrote...
295
00:10:26,207 --> 00:10:29,209
"Yes. Ha ha, ha ha,
ha ha."
296
00:10:29,243 --> 00:10:31,294
- Well-played.
- Thank you.
297
00:10:31,346 --> 00:10:33,113
Ah, but all jokes aside.
298
00:10:33,147 --> 00:10:36,383
I'm a boy.
299
00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:38,018
Keith, I had this job
for four years.
300
00:10:38,052 --> 00:10:40,454
And I can tell you, you get out
of it what you put into it.
301
00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:41,955
What are you hoping
to get out of it?
302
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,390
In like a month or so.
303
00:10:43,424 --> 00:10:45,058
- What?
- Oh...What!
304
00:10:45,093 --> 00:10:47,994
What am I hoping
to get out of this job?
305
00:10:48,029 --> 00:10:49,363
Yeah.
306
00:10:49,397 --> 00:10:51,531
Yeah. Like one...
one month of money...
307
00:10:51,566 --> 00:10:53,367
Would be...
would be just right.
308
00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:55,202
Let me give you a situation.
309
00:10:55,236 --> 00:10:58,138
You're hosting a town hall
meeting for local businesses.
310
00:10:58,172 --> 00:10:59,406
Uh...
That's so much stuff.
311
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,459
You just, uh... kept on going.
312
00:11:02,493 --> 00:11:03,710
That was like one thing.
313
00:11:03,745 --> 00:11:05,212
I didn't even get
to the situation yet.
314
00:11:05,246 --> 00:11:07,831
Oh!
All right.
315
00:11:07,882 --> 00:11:09,683
Well, thanks, guys.
316
00:11:09,717 --> 00:11:12,836
I think we've all seen enough.
317
00:11:12,887 --> 00:11:15,055
Still not totally sure
what I'm applying for.
318
00:11:15,089 --> 00:11:18,425
But...if you ask me,
I think it went pretty well.
319
00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:21,645
What we need to focus on
is how to destroy Peru,
320
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,764
specifically
one person who lives there.
321
00:11:23,798 --> 00:11:25,982
Madame Ambassador,
are you changing the scenario?
322
00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:28,068
We didn't prepare for this.
323
00:11:28,102 --> 00:11:30,320
Global politics can change,
and scenarios can arise
324
00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:32,773
and suddenly you're just like,
"wait, I thought this one thing,
325
00:11:32,807 --> 00:11:34,274
"but look over there.
That's a different thing,
326
00:11:34,308 --> 00:11:35,909
and it's changing everything,"
and I'm like, "what?"
327
00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:39,079
Hold up."
Who has tanks for me?
328
00:11:39,113 --> 00:11:40,614
I-I'm sorry, but...
329
00:11:40,648 --> 00:11:42,699
We're gonna keep trying
to solve the food crisis.
330
00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:45,035
Food schmood.
This is war.
331
00:11:45,086 --> 00:11:47,704
God, it's time for you
to nut up, Switzerland.
332
00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:49,506
Well, well, well,
look who is brave enough
333
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,091
to show his face in Europe.
334
00:11:51,125 --> 00:11:52,526
Say the word, Leslie.
335
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,045
I'll sick my army
of lions on him.
336
00:11:55,096 --> 00:11:56,630
Okay, look, I think, um...
337
00:11:56,664 --> 00:11:59,366
Things are starting to get
a little out of control here.
338
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,700
I agree.
You betrayed me,
339
00:12:00,735 --> 00:12:03,437
and you went behind my back,
and now you need to pay.
340
00:12:03,471 --> 00:12:04,688
I need to... I need to pay.
341
00:12:04,722 --> 00:12:06,206
Do I stutter?
342
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,691
Oh. Okay. Fair enough.
343
00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:09,776
Oh, you know what?
You might wanna borrow this.
344
00:12:09,811 --> 00:12:11,645
Ew, no one wants your
dirty underwear, Ben.
345
00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,980
It's not dirty underwear.
It's a white flag,
346
00:12:14,015 --> 00:12:15,615
and you may as well start
waving it right now...
347
00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,117
the only thing
I will be waving
348
00:12:17,151 --> 00:12:18,652
is your decapitated head
on a stick
349
00:12:18,686 --> 00:12:21,488
in front of your
weeping mother!
350
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,124
Good lord.
351
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,624
They were duds, Ron.
352
00:12:25,693 --> 00:12:26,993
Really,
anything would be better
353
00:12:27,028 --> 00:12:28,495
than the people
we interviewed today.
354
00:12:28,529 --> 00:12:30,263
I guess you're right, Tom.
355
00:12:30,298 --> 00:12:31,715
I'm not gonna find
another you.
356
00:12:31,749 --> 00:12:33,066
You were perfect.
357
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,253
Competent enough to keep
the bosses off my back,
358
00:12:36,304 --> 00:12:39,105
but selfish enough
to slow down all the work.
359
00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:41,141
Tom Haverfords
don't grow on trees.
360
00:12:41,175 --> 00:12:43,343
If they did, I'd sell 'em.
361
00:12:43,377 --> 00:12:44,845
Tommy trees.
362
00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:46,746
Would you consider
coming back?
363
00:12:47,481 --> 00:12:49,483
Sorry, Ron.
No can do.
364
00:12:49,517 --> 00:12:51,518
I'm like a shark.
I don't swim backwards.
365
00:12:51,552 --> 00:12:53,687
See ya later, man.
366
00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:57,424
We've been making
great strides
367
00:12:57,458 --> 00:12:59,493
with genetically modified
crops
368
00:12:59,527 --> 00:13:02,128
and would gladly pledge
to continue the growth of...
369
00:13:02,163 --> 00:13:03,463
excuse me,
Madame Ambassador.
370
00:13:03,498 --> 00:13:04,731
- Excuse me.
- I'm not finished.
371
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:05,999
Oh, really?
372
00:13:06,033 --> 00:13:08,101
Then why do I have
the microphone?
373
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:12,289
I move that the Security Council
formally condemn Denmark
374
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:13,757
and stop them from making
375
00:13:13,791 --> 00:13:16,510
any more unwarranted
acts of aggression.
376
00:13:16,544 --> 00:13:19,179
As long as you quit
derailing the conference.
377
00:13:19,213 --> 00:13:20,964
People are dying of hunger
in Africa.
378
00:13:21,015 --> 00:13:22,516
Oh, cry me a river.
379
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,017
All in favor
of the resolution.
380
00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:27,921
- What?!
- Oh, that's interesting.
381
00:13:27,939 --> 00:13:30,857
The resolution passes
with flying colors.
382
00:13:30,892 --> 00:13:33,443
Denmark is formally condemned.
383
00:13:33,477 --> 00:13:35,028
Bam!
384
00:13:36,797 --> 00:13:39,199
That's no problemo, Peru,
385
00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:42,202
because Denmark no longer
recognizes the authority
386
00:13:42,236 --> 00:13:44,104
of this international
gang of thugs.
387
00:13:44,138 --> 00:13:46,606
And history
will be unkind to those
388
00:13:46,624 --> 00:13:48,625
who stand opposed
to justice.
389
00:13:48,659 --> 00:13:51,962
Together, we stand...
and I ask all of you...
390
00:13:51,996 --> 00:13:55,615
who is ready to join
the Coalition of the Willing?
391
00:13:57,468 --> 00:14:00,053
The Moon shall join
your coalition.
392
00:14:00,087 --> 00:14:01,471
Yeah!
We got the freaking moon.
393
00:14:01,505 --> 00:14:04,291
What are you gonna do
without tides, Peru?
394
00:14:04,325 --> 00:14:06,810
Okay. We need to stop
dealing in hypotheticals.
395
00:14:06,844 --> 00:14:09,796
Ann, we dated.
What happened to us?
396
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:12,632
Really?
Do you... wanna get real?
397
00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:14,851
Sure.
Sounds like fun.
398
00:14:14,902 --> 00:14:17,520
Sometimes your relentless
cheeriness is confusing.
399
00:14:17,972 --> 00:14:19,372
Like that time we went
to Eagleton
400
00:14:19,407 --> 00:14:21,641
and we got that hotel room
with the jacuzzi...
401
00:14:21,659 --> 00:14:23,193
Ooh, this just
got real good!
402
00:14:23,244 --> 00:14:24,828
And the jacuzzi broke.
403
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,997
But I did... eat food
off of your body.
404
00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:29,649
- Oh, come on.
- All right, Chris and Ann!
405
00:14:29,684 --> 00:14:31,918
I just wanna
go back to work.
406
00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:33,503
So the Coalition
of the Willing
407
00:14:33,537 --> 00:14:35,855
is Denmark, Botswana,
and the Moon.
408
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:37,207
The big three.
409
00:14:37,258 --> 00:14:38,758
Now, here's what
we're gonna do.
410
00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:41,344
Ben is probably shoring up
his support in South America.
411
00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:43,013
While he does that,
we are gonna make sure...
412
00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:45,181
Attention!
413
00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:47,550
The Security Council
has decided to expel
414
00:14:47,602 --> 00:14:50,503
Peru and Denmark
from the United Nations.
415
00:14:50,538 --> 00:14:52,389
Madame Ambassadeur...
Pourquoi?
416
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,841
'Cause you guys suck.
Look around.
417
00:14:55,359 --> 00:14:58,278
We thought you were gonna teach
us how to solve problems.
418
00:14:58,312 --> 00:15:01,364
You've ruined my favorite club.
Thanks a lot.
419
00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:03,683
Did we win?
420
00:15:03,718 --> 00:15:05,885
I think we won!
421
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,039
What were we trying to do?
I learned so much today.
422
00:15:14,816 --> 00:15:16,684
I just wanted to say
423
00:15:16,735 --> 00:15:18,485
that I thought
it was really cool
424
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,738
how everything
fell apart in there.
425
00:15:22,741 --> 00:15:24,408
And also,
maybe you should talk to Ben.
426
00:15:24,442 --> 00:15:26,944
No. He's being a jerk.
427
00:15:26,978 --> 00:15:29,280
Please?
When Ben gets upset,
428
00:15:29,314 --> 00:15:31,715
he becomes
a really bad roommate.
429
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:33,851
He takes really long
sadness baths
430
00:15:33,885 --> 00:15:36,320
and makes me late for stuff.
431
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:40,391
I hate it here.
432
00:15:40,425 --> 00:15:42,559
Can't wait to graduate.
433
00:15:44,195 --> 00:15:48,832
Yeah, but summer's
gonna totally kick ass.
434
00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:50,501
So you're saying
435
00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:52,669
that I intimidated you?
436
00:15:52,687 --> 00:15:54,188
- No. Not exactly.
- Come on.
437
00:15:54,222 --> 00:15:56,607
Talk more about that tantric
workshop y'all went to.
438
00:15:56,641 --> 00:15:58,609
I was so into you, okay,
439
00:15:58,643 --> 00:16:01,445
and you basically turned me into
a female version of yourself,
440
00:16:01,479 --> 00:16:02,646
and then you got bored
dating me
441
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,182
because you were
dating yourself.
442
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,550
Huh...
443
00:16:06,584 --> 00:16:08,552
I mean, I was jogging.
I hate jogging.
444
00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:11,789
- Jogging's amazing!
- Jogging is the worst, Chris.
445
00:16:11,823 --> 00:16:12,856
I mean, I know it keeps you
healthy,
446
00:16:12,891 --> 00:16:14,291
but God, at what cost?
447
00:16:14,326 --> 00:16:16,627
Well, I'm sorry that I added
five years to your life.
448
00:16:16,661 --> 00:16:18,962
Now I'm being sarcastic.
449
00:16:18,997 --> 00:16:20,998
Like you. I'm doing
something that you like.
450
00:16:21,032 --> 00:16:22,216
Being with you
451
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,301
definitely made me do
a lot of soul-searching,
452
00:16:24,336 --> 00:16:25,869
and I came out the other side
453
00:16:25,904 --> 00:16:28,038
being a much more
self-possessed person.
454
00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:29,073
Well, I'm glad.
455
00:16:29,107 --> 00:16:31,759
Good luck with Millicent.
Just back off a little bit.
456
00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:34,144
Let her be herself.
Everything'll be fine.
457
00:16:34,179 --> 00:16:36,080
Thank you.
458
00:16:36,114 --> 00:16:38,148
If you rearrange
the letters of Peru,
459
00:16:38,183 --> 00:16:40,434
you could spell Europe.
460
00:16:40,485 --> 00:16:41,769
That's...
That's not true.
461
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:43,720
Well...
You have to rearrange them.
462
00:16:43,738 --> 00:16:45,272
- Oh...
- Delegates!
463
00:16:45,323 --> 00:16:47,224
I know that you're angry
with each other.
464
00:16:47,242 --> 00:16:48,592
Hopefully, this will be
your opportunity
465
00:16:48,626 --> 00:16:51,445
to have your very own
Camp David.
466
00:16:51,496 --> 00:16:52,896
In high school,
467
00:16:52,931 --> 00:16:54,231
my buddy David Fundis
would have
468
00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:56,066
these campouts
in his backyard.
469
00:16:56,084 --> 00:16:59,069
We would just chill out,
have a bonfire,
470
00:16:59,087 --> 00:17:01,271
talk about whatever
was on our mind.
471
00:17:01,306 --> 00:17:04,074
We called it camp David.
472
00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:05,676
How do you know about
Camp David?
473
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:07,177
How do you know about
camp David?
474
00:17:07,212 --> 00:17:08,929
Ooookay.
475
00:17:08,963 --> 00:17:11,014
You guys are being stupid,
so why don't you work it out
476
00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:15,302
- while Andy and I...
- Throw these scientist bottles
477
00:17:15,353 --> 00:17:16,303
- off the roof?
- No.
478
00:17:16,354 --> 00:17:17,654
That's right.
See ya.
479
00:17:17,689 --> 00:17:21,658
Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.
480
00:17:21,693 --> 00:17:23,160
It's bad enough
that we can't be together,
481
00:17:23,195 --> 00:17:26,363
but the thought of us
not being friends is...
482
00:17:26,398 --> 00:17:28,332
Is just too crappy
for me to handle.
483
00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:30,801
I was... perhaps
484
00:17:30,835 --> 00:17:33,270
a little icier
than I needed to be.
485
00:17:33,304 --> 00:17:35,639
I just need you
to be in my life.
486
00:17:35,673 --> 00:17:38,108
You're too important to me.
487
00:17:38,143 --> 00:17:39,843
I wish I could say
it's possible.
488
00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:41,812
I just... I don't know
if it is right now.
489
00:17:43,882 --> 00:17:46,049
Well, I propose a treaty
490
00:17:46,084 --> 00:17:49,119
that states that we have
a fun conversation
491
00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:52,789
once a day at work
for five minutes.
492
00:17:52,807 --> 00:17:55,492
I'll take it
to the Peruvian senate.
493
00:17:55,527 --> 00:17:56,727
Or whatever.
494
00:17:56,761 --> 00:17:57,828
- Please do that.
- I'll try.
495
00:17:57,862 --> 00:17:58,979
I'll see what they say.
496
00:17:59,013 --> 00:18:01,148
What do we do
with those kids?
497
00:18:01,182 --> 00:18:02,632
We totally ruined
their club.
498
00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:05,169
I could tell you what I would
like when I was their age.
499
00:18:05,203 --> 00:18:06,904
Ben, how are we gonna get
Kathy Ireland
500
00:18:06,938 --> 00:18:08,906
to do naked aerobics
for them?
501
00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:11,508
Okay. I regret
telling you that... very much.
502
00:18:13,194 --> 00:18:14,661
Hey.
503
00:18:14,696 --> 00:18:16,330
Oh, hey, Ron.
504
00:18:16,364 --> 00:18:18,648
All right.
I gotta come clean.
505
00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:21,752
I saw you spraying
cologne samples at Macy's.
506
00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:23,887
What? Macy's?
That wasn't me.
507
00:18:23,922 --> 00:18:26,323
There's a Macy's in town?
Where's the Macy's in town?
508
00:18:26,357 --> 00:18:28,559
I heard they have an amazing
cologne sample guy.
509
00:18:28,593 --> 00:18:31,361
Just take the job, Tommy.
Come on back.
510
00:18:31,396 --> 00:18:33,096
I quit to peruse my dream.
511
00:18:33,131 --> 00:18:35,566
And my dream collapsed.
It's embarrassing, Ron.
512
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,852
I can't go from a CEO back
to being an administrator.
513
00:18:38,887 --> 00:18:40,338
Is there anything I can do
514
00:18:40,372 --> 00:18:44,007
to make you feel okay
about coming back?
515
00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:45,576
Everyone, please...
516
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,394
Help me.
517
00:18:47,445 --> 00:18:49,613
I'm trying to get Tom back.
518
00:18:49,647 --> 00:18:51,732
I'm...
519
00:18:51,783 --> 00:18:53,917
begging.
520
00:18:53,952 --> 00:18:56,353
This department just doesn't
work without you.
521
00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:58,021
What do you say?
522
00:18:58,056 --> 00:19:01,391
Ron, this is embarrassing.
Even for you.
523
00:19:02,026 --> 00:19:04,094
I'm not coming back.
524
00:19:04,128 --> 00:19:06,497
Peace out, my dudes.
525
00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:10,968
Excuse me, everyone.
526
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,224
That was great.
527
00:19:17,258 --> 00:19:18,942
So what I'm thinking is
I'll come back in a few days,
528
00:19:18,977 --> 00:19:19,943
you'll beg me again...
529
00:19:19,978 --> 00:19:21,078
aah!
530
00:19:21,112 --> 00:19:22,980
So if it's okay with you guys,
531
00:19:23,014 --> 00:19:25,115
I would like to ask Ron
for my job back.
532
00:19:25,149 --> 00:19:26,400
Ron...
533
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:29,019
May I have
my job back, please?
534
00:19:30,421 --> 00:19:32,956
Thank you.
535
00:19:32,991 --> 00:19:35,559
I will see you all Monday.
536
00:19:35,593 --> 00:19:38,662
Looking forward to it.
537
00:19:39,697 --> 00:19:40,897
Ah, France,
538
00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:41,949
bienvenue.
539
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,283
My name is Cassidy,
540
00:19:43,334 --> 00:19:45,068
- and I'm really annoyed with you.
- Yes.
541
00:19:45,086 --> 00:19:46,454
And you have
every right to be,
542
00:19:46,505 --> 00:19:47,856
but we're hoping what we're
gonna show you right now
543
00:19:47,907 --> 00:19:49,674
will make up for that.
544
00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:52,426
- What?
- Oh, my God!
545
00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:54,628
Pawnee
City Council chambers.
546
00:19:54,679 --> 00:19:58,181
The nicest room in City Hall
by a factor of like a million.
547
00:19:58,516 --> 00:20:00,601
Go ahead.
Sit down.
548
00:20:00,635 --> 00:20:02,919
Leslie and I feel terrible
549
00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:05,105
for war breaking out
at your Model U.N.
550
00:20:05,139 --> 00:20:06,990
Which, for the record,
Denmark would have won,
551
00:20:07,025 --> 00:20:08,275
but that's neither here
nor there.
552
00:20:08,309 --> 00:20:09,760
Thanks to a coordinated effort
553
00:20:09,795 --> 00:20:12,496
between the parks department
and the city manager's office,
554
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:14,097
three months from now,
we are gonna hold
555
00:20:14,132 --> 00:20:16,934
a State-wide Model U.N.
In this room,
556
00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:19,036
- and you're gonna run the show.
- What?
557
00:20:19,071 --> 00:20:22,005
And we will just be...
not here.
558
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,174
- Or taking some small countries.
- No, no, no, no.
559
00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:25,375
No. Fine.
Not here.
560
00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:27,444
- Sound good?
- Yes!
561
00:20:27,478 --> 00:20:29,779
Those kids are passionate
about something.
562
00:20:29,797 --> 00:20:31,048
That's important.
563
00:20:31,082 --> 00:20:34,785
That's all there is, really,
is passion.
564
00:20:34,803 --> 00:20:37,838
Passion is what makes
for good treaties...
565
00:20:37,889 --> 00:20:39,840
- Cheese!
- Good relationships...
566
00:20:39,891 --> 00:20:41,141
Good pizza.
567
00:20:41,175 --> 00:20:42,492
Good friends.
568
00:20:42,527 --> 00:20:44,161
Good everything.
569
00:20:44,195 --> 00:20:46,030
Including wars.
570
00:20:46,185 --> 00:20:48,619
*
571
00:20:49,988 --> 00:20:51,008
Ladies and Gentlemen,
572
00:20:51,088 --> 00:20:52,555
"He was gone but never
forgotten."
573
00:20:52,589 --> 00:20:53,973
"He makes all the ladies
want..."
574
00:20:54,024 --> 00:20:55,474
No, I'm not gonna say that.
575
00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:58,127
"Swagger... beats...
576
00:20:58,161 --> 00:21:00,563
and I get the...
Who's the..."
577
00:21:00,597 --> 00:21:01,930
All right, forget it.
578
00:21:01,948 --> 00:21:03,932
Welcome back, Tom Haverford!
579
00:21:05,318 --> 00:21:07,670
Tick-tock,
it's Tommy time!
580
00:21:07,704 --> 00:21:09,938
I'm sorry,
I have to object again.
581
00:21:09,956 --> 00:21:12,641
This just seems unfair.
I understand that, Jerry.
582
00:21:12,676 --> 00:21:14,776
But the problem is
is that Tom came back
583
00:21:14,794 --> 00:21:17,413
and Andy's my assistant, so I
kinda need him close to me.
584
00:21:17,447 --> 00:21:19,298
Okay, but I can't even
hear anything
585
00:21:19,332 --> 00:21:22,084
because of the noise
from the copier.
586
00:21:22,118 --> 00:21:24,119
Sorry. These are
really important.
587
00:21:24,619 --> 00:21:32,478
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
588
00:21:32,528 --> 00:21:37,078
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
43076
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.