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Ron!

Hello, Andy.

It's quiet in here. Where is everyone?

The government has shut down.

It's in every newspaper.

How long is it gonna last?

Well, if we're lucky,

This building will be empty for months.

[sighs] wow.

That is really bad timing.

I just got this super-sweet-ass rad crotch rocket.

I've always wanted one of these!

But due to, you know, never having a job,

I couldn't afford it until now.

Got a really good deal on my lease.

Paying like 12% interest.

That's like one of the highest you can get.

Hey, so I've been trying like crazy

To get a hold of April.

If you see her, will you tell her

I really need to talk to her?

You got it.

All right, thanks, Ron.

Whuh-oh!

[thud]

Nailed it.

[triumphant music]

Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

All I can tell you

Is that all the parks are closed until further notice.

[murmurs and groans]

Look no one is more upset about this than I am.

Not like it's a competition or anything,

'cause if it was, I would win.

But that's neither here nor there.

The point is, I would win.

How long will they be closed?

Could be forever.

With the government shut down, who's gonna stop Al Qaeda?

One thing at a time.

School is out in two weeks.

What am I going to do with my kids all day,

Keep them in my house?

Where I live?

I don't know what to tell you.

What about the kids concert tomorrow

At Ramsett park?

The Freddy Spaghetti concert.

Freddy Spaghetti has been canceled.

[all groan]

What? Jeez.

Well, sit down and tell me

Exactly what's happened.

Well, every year we kick off the summer

With a children's concert series,

And this year, the concert has been canceled

Due to the shutdown.

That's terrible.

And we need to fix it.

Oh! All right. Great.

I'm very glad that you agree with me,

But I actually worked really hard on my argument.

Is there any way I can still kind of...

- Oh, plea-- I'd love to hear it.

Oh, good, thank you.

"you're wrong. Are you crazy?

Can you put a price tag on a child's smile?"

Leslie Knope.

What a surprise.

The government has been shut down for two days.

And one city employee has tried to schedule

14 meetings with me.

Can you guess who?

Ben, there was a big concert?

Now there's not?

Isn't there anything that we can do about that?

No, there isn't.

It's too bad.

Sorry, Leslie. Damn!

I have to go run ten miles.

Ben, let's talk solutions.

Leslie, Pawnee is broke.

There's no money for a concert. Okay?

I mean, Idaho cut their parks department by 80%,

And Idaho is basically one giant park.

- I've said it before and I'll say it again, Ben--

Pawnee is better than Idaho.

No, Pawnee is not special, okay?

- Oh. - Your department...

All the way down here,

Is not a priority.

And, frankly, you're not even supposed to be

In the building, Leslie.

You're non-essential.

That is not your call.

I know. It's on your badge.

This? This isn't me.

Ann Perkins!

Chris...Something.

Hi! I was just doing my daily lunchtime ten miles,

And I ran by the hospital,

And I thought I'd pop up and say hi.

Did you just start your run?

No, I'm already at mile nine.

But you're not sweating at all.

- I know--I have a resting heart rate

Of 28 beats per minute.

The scientist who studied me said that my heart

Could pump jet fuel up into an airplane.

I'd love to go out on a date with you.

I think you might find me attractive,

Because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met.

And, no pressure, but I do have tonight open.

I'm so sorry. I'm really busy right now.

No problem, I will try again soon, Ann Perkins.

That's the guy who likes you that you're not into.

Yeah.

And which part of him are you not looking at?

Traditionally,

When I end a long-term relationship,

I'm a little fragile.

And I have a tendency to do some reckless things.

So I need to stay away from Chris.

I can't stand this government shutdown!

I can't stand this budget crisis.

But what I can't stand

Is they're canceling Freddy Spaghetti.

You know everything. What should I do about this?

I don't know, Leslie.

Why don't you see a movie or go shopping or try--

- Wait a minute, what are you doing?

What's happening?

Um...

You know, they offered me a buyout, and I took it.

And so now I work for Norton construction.

Sorry, I know I shouldn't have done that.

- That's okay. - How could you quit?

You know, not everyone

Has your enthusiasm for this work.

You know, I guess I've been mispronouncing your name

All these years.

Mark Brendana-quits.

Recently, I had been thinking about maybe,

Um, leaving this job.

But I felt like I needed a sign.

And then Ann broke up with me

The week that I was going to propose.

The government got shut down,

And yesterday...

One of those pigeons took a [bleep] on me.

And I was indoors, so...

[knock on door]

[whispering] what are you doing here?

Hey, sorry. I need your help.

Is this a bad time?

Lucy's here,

I'm in my sexy pajamas,

I just took four benadryls to dull my sensitivity.

Yes! It is a bad time.

You're about to have sex.

Why else would boys 2 men's on bended knee

Be playing right now?

Okay, I just want to give you a little advice,

Which is don't make it last really long.

Ladies don't like that.

- Okay, great. - Okay?

Wait, just one more thing.

Are you using protection?

You know? I'm just gonna stay away

From all guys right now.

Yeah, less man time, more Ann time.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

The only guy that I care about right now

Is six feet tall with wild, crazy hair

And a ukulele that doubles as a water gun.

Freddy Spaghetti. Oh.

Children's concerts aren't a priority these days.

You know what is? Sewage.

Pawnee's kids are less important than poop tubes.

I don't know, I mean, what are you gonna do?

That's the way it is and--

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

If all the parks are closed,

Why not just have the concert in the lot behind my house?

Ann, you devious bastard.

♪ well, the cow goes moo ♪

♪ and the pig goes oink ♪

Well, I've spent the last three hours

Coming up with the plan.

And I sent up the bat signal

For all the people in the parks department

To come and join us.

I told them to be here by 8:00.

Do you think anybody's gonna show up?

"a," yes.

"b," even if they don't,

We'll just put the concert on ourselves.

But, "c," yes, yes--they're definitely gonna show up.

Although, "d," maybe not.

I think that you need to prepare for

The eventuality that no one-- - [Gasps]

Hello?

Ohh!

God bless you, Jerry Gergich!

Wow!

Never thought I'd hear those words from you.

- Hey. - April's here. Move, Jerry.

April...

I didn't think you were gonna help.

- I still might not. - [Laughs]

Jerry, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?

- Ooh, my doctor just said I should avoid--

- Being a wuss? Yes, I agree.

So go out there and get the equipment out of the truck.

With current and projected deficits,

We need to cut expenditures by 32%.

Let's make it an even 40.

Oh, that's not necessary.

[chanting] slash it. Slash it.

I am an official member of a task force

Dedicated to slashing the city budget.

Just saying that gave me a semi.

Right off the bat,

We sell city hall.

Let somebody turn it into a large gas station

Or a TJ Maxx.

Ron, that is a very creative idea.

But we don't want to sell any of our major assets,

Because we don't want to lose out

On any future revenue streams.

I hear that.

Don't worry, I have tons more ideas.

- Okay, uh--

[gun cocks, gunshot]

So sorry.

New ringtone.

Don't cut anything without me.

[gun cocks, gunshot]

Leslie?

I don't care if you hate what we do.

I love it enough for both of us.

We're gonna put on the Freddy Spaghetti concert,

Today, 5:00, on lot 48.

You can't do that.

Watch me. We're gonna do this, Ron.

With or without you.

Hammering away.

[clanging]

Unh.

Crank it. Hit it.

Needs 16 minutes for premium bounce.

Oh, hey, after this, can you go pick up Freddy Spaghetti

In your Mercedes?

We need to give him the star treatment.

Hey, sorry we're late.

I had to wait on my girlfriend

To finish eating breakfast.

Hi. I'm Lucy.

Hi.

We had dinner last night.

And...Breakfast this morning.

What were doing in between?

Sex stuff.

You guys know Tom really well,

So I don't have to apologize for his behavior, right?

Right.

The craziest thing is it's like super loud.

You know what I mean?

I was on it for, like, five minutes.

I can't really hear anything. Am I talking loud right now?

- Yeah. - April!

Hey! Excuse me.

I called you a gajillion times.

Why didn't you call me back?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I was too busy not wanting to talk to you.

- Huh? - Jerry, what are you doing?

Leslie asked me to post these around the neighborhood.

- I'll do it. - Really? Wow.

- Yes. - Thanks.

You want some help with that?

Okay, let's talk about parks and rec.

This one's a little complicated.

I know what'll loosen up our brains.

A massage train.

And I know what you're thinking.

It's not that I want a massage. I'll be the caboose.

And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.

And thanks to Ron, the services budget

Has already been cut significantly.

So seems like the best option is job cuts.

Starting with Leslie Knope.

[chuckling] ho ho.

No, no, no, no, no.

If you fire Leslie,

You might as well just get rid of the department.

Look, I know how valuable she is, believe me.

But we've run out of options.

There are plenty of other options.

For example, sell the zoo animals.

Okay, to whom?

Cosmetics labs.

Weird restaurants.

I'm just spit-balling here.

Okay, let's switch it up.

Look, she makes the second highest salary

In the department.

That will go a long way.

I'm telling you, it's just not an option.

Come on. Focus up, buddy.

Give me a sec.

Will you just stop and listen to me?

No.

Fine, I don't want to talk to you anyways.

Reverse psychiatry.

[scoffs] fine. What?

I like you.

In a, you know,

Romantical kind of way.

You do?

Yes!

Do you...

Like me?

Yes.

Ha!

So then...Perhaps

Shall we go out this evening?

No.

Ahem.

I don't think we should see each other.

[sighs]

Damn it. Because you're 21

And I'm 29?

No.

I don't care about that.

It's because whenever I see you talk to Ann

Or talk about Ann,

I feel like you still have feelings for her.

What? No, I don't. But I don't.

Really. I don't.

Well, I think do.

So...

That's a problem for me.

Because of my libertarian beliefs,

Leslie does 95% of the work.

So you should lay me off.

I'd be proud to be a casualty

In this righteous war.

It's precisely because of your beliefs

That we need to keep you.

You would maintain fiscal responsibility

After we're gone.

I strenuously object.

Well, Ron, we're moving on.

Every department's losing a Leslie Knope.

No, Ben, they are not.

No other department has one to begin with.

Right now, she's single-handedly

Putting up some lousy concert

For the city's kids.

She's doing what?

Could someone else massage my shoulders?

Wow, looking good.

Yeah, I mean, I wish we'd built one of those elevators

That comes up from under the stage.

They're coming!

They're coming.

Oh!

Uhh! They're coming.

Who, the Russians?

No, the state auditors.

I accidentally told them what you were doing

In an attempt to save some government jobs.

It's been a very strange day for me.

Okay, everybody be cool. Just be cool.

- Hey! - Hey.

Hey, hey! [laughing] hey.

All right! Everybody!

Everybody, everybody.

Hey, Ann Perkins, hi.

- Hi. - Everyone...

You are all super amazing.

You are what makes Pawnee great,

And I just want to tell you that I am totally supportive

Of your inspiring efforts here today!

[cheers and applause] That, we'll take.

Yeah! Now my partner Ben wants to say something.

Yeah, we're shutting this down.

Damn!

That's terrible news.

Surely there has to be a solution, Ben.

- No. - Ben says no.

I'm sorry, everyone.

The concert is canceled, everybody.

Here's the thing, though, Ben.

It's not canceled. We're putting it on.

Okay? Because the stage is already built.

Everything was donated for free by local vendors.

Everyone here believes that what we're doing

Is essential.

Freddy Spaghetti will sing.

Actually, Leslie, I just found out...

Freddy Spaghetti ain't comin'.

Freddy Spaghetti may not sing.

But something much cooler is going to happen.

I think. Ann.

Okay.

Good job. You should hydrate.

When we canceled on him,

He took another gig in Eagleton.

[all groan] At a library.

[all gasp] Ohh!

That's literally the worst place I could imagine.

Okay, guys, we're not giving up on this.

He's not the only musician in town.

Andy.

[sighs] I don't know, Leslie.

I don't really feel like playing right now.

Andy, please. Please, please, please.

I don't even have children's songs.

My last song I wrote was called sex hair.

Well, just take the word sex and change it to pickle.

Pickle?

♪ you've got pickle hair, baby-hey ♪

♪ and you got it from me ♪

Still sounds like it's about sex.

I'm in. I gotta grab my guitar from my house.

I'll be back shortly. Yeah!

See, guys? We have a solution.

And the good news is, there's always a solution

If your motives are pure and your cause is just.

[horn honks] there's nothing...

Oww, my arm!

You have two broken bones in your right arm,

And four in your hand.

That's the side that hurts.

How soon until he's better?

We'll set the fractures.

I'd like to keep him overnight for observation.

Uh, is there any chance you can fix me

In the next ten minutes?

Sure.

I'll just advance medical science 30 years.

Great.

Can mouse rat play without you?

They tried once. They're called rat mouse.

And they're awful.

But you have got to find somebody.

There's an old saying in show business:

The show must go wrong.

Everything always goes wrong,

And you just have to deal with it.

[sighs]

[indistinct chatter]

Hello, Pawnee.

I'm...Renata ricotta.

Freddy Spaghetti couldn't make it today.

He bumped his noodle.

[laughter]

There was sauce everywhere.

It was just streaming out of his face.

It was really scary.

All right.

♪ if... ♪

♪ you're happy and you know it ♪

♪ clap your hands ♪

♪ if you're happy and you know it ♪

♪ clap your hands ♪

Ha ha ha ha! [cheers and applause]

Hey, kids, it's me, Freddy Spaghetti!

[cheers and applause]

Hey, I thought you were playing Eagleton.

[softly] all I know is this guy showed up,

Made me a much better offer.

I am all about the money, baby.

♪ she cooked an ♪

♪ itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny ♪

♪ yellow polka dot ♪

All: ♪ Linguini ♪

♪ that she made for the first time that day ♪

Thank you very much.

Ron Corleone.

This really attractive woman is my girlfriend...Lucy.

Hello, Lucy.

- Hi. - Whoa.

Impressive handshake.

Thanks.

My father told me that a limp handshake

Was for weak men and communists.

He hated both.

Well done, Tommy.

Is that bacon on your Turkey leg?

They call it a Swanson.

Wow.

I brought you your favorite.

Every color of jell-o.

Oh ho ha ho ho!

The jell-o rainbow.

Thank you.

Oh, injured Andy.

It's kind of like old times, huh?

[chuckles] yeah.

- I almost expect you to call me a-cakes.

[both laugh]

- "a-cakes."

Well, I'm glad you're okay.

Oh, my God, I'm...

Ohh.

- I'm so sorry. - Ohh!

- I should not--

I--I'm sorry.

That was...Not...

[up-tempo guitar]

♪ Spaghetti ♪

All: Spaghetti!

♪ fuseli ♪

All: Fuseli!

♪ egg noodles ♪

All: Egg noodles!

Why did you do this?

Well, I'm not a monster.

I want the kids to have their concert.

Ah, mean Ben has a soft spot.

Is that what you guys call me?

"mean Ben"? No, no, no.

Look, this is really great today.

But...

There's gonna be a lot of pain ahead, Leslie.

We have to cut 32% of the--

- Can you just stop it? Okay?

Just for one moment, enjoy the fact

That you provided a service for people,

Not a cut.

A service.

And they love it.

Biggest service

Was getting you to stop singing.

[Freddy's chanting continues]

- Hey. - April.

I just heard.

Are you okay?

- Yeah. - Oh, my God.

Listen, what I said this afternoon was...

Stupid.

Okay?

I totally want to go out with you.

Good.

I want to be with you.

[giggles]

Ah.

That was nice.

- That--yeah.

[both chuckle]

Here's just one thing, real quick.

I want to be totally honest with you,

Because I like you so much.

But, like, two minutes ago,

Me and Ann did kiss.

- What? - But here's--

No, no, no. Uh, it was crazy.

She kissed me.

- Okay, bye. - Wait, where are you going?

- Bye. - No, no, no, no, no. Hey.

April. April! Bye.

Dude, don't even think about kissing me.

And what was your favorite song, Chelsea?

Penne and the jets.

Me too!

Thank you all so much.

With all the parks closed, we've been going crazy.

Oh, it's our pleasure.

Come on.

You guys are the best,

Most important people,

And the most important government

In the best city in the world.

Suck it, Paris, France.

Well, I would say see you tomorrow, but...

Great job.

Good work, Leslie.

- Bye. - Bye, Leslie.

See you soon, I hope.

I liked this a lot better when it was a pit.

[chuckles]

Is that weird?

- I'm sorry I called you mark Brendana-quits.

Don't ever apologize to me.

- [grunts] - I'm serious.

If--if everyone in government were like you,

Then I would probably still work there.

I got you a going away present.

- You did? - Mm-hmm.

Here.

Red tape. [Laughing]

So you'll never forget your roots.

- That's really nice of you. - Yeah.

Well, I have something for you too.

You do?

I, um...

Sort of threw together

Some plans for a future park.

I couldn't fit everything in that you wanted,

Like the roller coaster or the shark tank,

But I think it's a pretty good start.

Thank you.

You're really welcome.

But, you know, Pawnee's bankrupt.

I doubt I'll get to build a park anytime soon.

I wouldn't bet against you.

See you around. - Mm-hmm.

Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

Morning.

Hi. What are you doing here?

Ron made me the official parks and rec representative

For the budget discussions.

- That's only supposed to be-- - Essential personnel?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

So shall we get started?

I have so many ideas.

Is this an autographed picture of Jaime Foxx?

Oh, there it is. Thank God.

- So how long is this shut-down gonna last?

No idea.

I might have to get a temp job.

Maybe I should start working on my cologne line.

[whistling]

- Uh-oh. Check it out.

Whenever Ron has sex, the next morning,

He comes in dressed like Tiger Woods.

You all set?

Oh, God.

What? Who is that?

[sighs]

That is my ex-wife.

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