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00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:11,702
Okay, so I've been
a little worried
3
00:00:11,769 --> 00:00:13,270
That Ann maybe thinks
that our relationship
4
00:00:13,338 --> 00:00:15,272
Isn't moving forward
fast enough.
5
00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:18,842
And so I'm wondering
if maybe I should ask her
6
00:00:18,910 --> 00:00:21,334
If she would like to move in
with me.
7
00:00:21,402 --> 00:00:23,572
Good idea? Bad idea?
You tell me.
8
00:00:23,639 --> 00:00:25,272
Well, I would say
that some women
9
00:00:25,339 --> 00:00:26,975
Won't consider moving in
with someone
10
00:00:27,042 --> 00:00:28,412
Unless they think
marriage is in the future,
11
00:00:28,479 --> 00:00:33,434
Which I know for you is--
- I intend to marry her.
12
00:00:33,502 --> 00:00:34,673
For realskies?
13
00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:36,875
I'm not really quite sure
how I feel.
14
00:00:36,943 --> 00:00:39,579
Um, I--it--
it's a little weird.
15
00:00:39,646 --> 00:00:41,381
I mean, I'm happy for them.
They're my friends.
16
00:00:41,449 --> 00:00:42,749
It makes me a little nauseous.
17
00:00:42,817 --> 00:00:46,489
If I could just sum it up
in one word, it would be, um...
18
00:00:46,557 --> 00:00:48,326
[gasps]
19
00:00:48,393 --> 00:00:53,402
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.
20
00:00:55,906 --> 00:00:58,807
[triumphant music]
21
00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:00,475
♪ ♪
22
00:01:16,629 --> 00:01:22,470
[phone rings] Parks and rec.
23
00:01:22,538 --> 00:01:25,340
Confirming what?
24
00:01:25,408 --> 00:01:30,481
That's not possible.
25
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,551
Oh, no.
26
00:01:32,619 --> 00:01:35,054
Hey. Good morning.
27
00:01:35,122 --> 00:01:36,957
Why are there six people
outside who say
28
00:01:37,025 --> 00:01:38,825
They're waiting to meet
with me?
29
00:01:38,893 --> 00:01:41,295
So you know how you love me
because you haven't had
30
00:01:41,363 --> 00:01:44,165
A single meeting with anyone
since I became your assistant?
31
00:01:44,233 --> 00:01:46,901
That's because every time
someone calls
32
00:01:46,969 --> 00:01:48,403
And requests a meeting
with you,
33
00:01:48,471 --> 00:01:51,207
I always schedule it
for March 31st.
34
00:01:51,275 --> 00:01:52,475
Why?
35
00:01:52,543 --> 00:01:54,578
Because I didn't think
March 31st existed.
36
00:01:54,645 --> 00:01:58,582
♪ 30 days has September,
April, March, and November ♪
37
00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:01,385
June and November.
38
00:02:01,452 --> 00:02:03,520
Today is March 31st.
39
00:02:03,588 --> 00:02:04,955
I know.
40
00:02:05,023 --> 00:02:07,691
So then how many meetings
do I have today?
41
00:02:07,758 --> 00:02:11,194
- 93.
- [Strangled groan] okay.
42
00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:14,364
Okay. Well, you know
what to do.
43
00:02:14,432 --> 00:02:15,598
Right.
44
00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:18,635
- To me, this situation
is a blood-soaked,
45
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:21,305
Nightmarish hellscape.
46
00:02:21,372 --> 00:02:24,141
However, to Leslie Knope...
Oh, how fun.
47
00:02:24,209 --> 00:02:25,309
Yay.
48
00:02:25,377 --> 00:02:26,778
Why don't you take
as many as you can
49
00:02:26,845 --> 00:02:27,779
And I'll cover the rest?
50
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,114
I have a better idea.
51
00:02:29,181 --> 00:02:31,483
Why don't I try to rustle up
seven more meetings
52
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:32,651
'cause I think
it would be cooler
53
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:33,919
If there were an even 100.
54
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,588
- Just--why don't we just
stick to these 93
55
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,756
And see how it goes.
56
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:37,924
Yeah, okay.
57
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:39,593
This is the perfect distraction
for me.
58
00:02:39,661 --> 00:02:41,229
Okay, so I have
everything I need, right?
59
00:02:41,297 --> 00:02:44,333
I have a fresh cup of coffee,
comfy, fur-lined boots.
60
00:02:44,401 --> 00:02:46,402
I'm gonna need those boots
back by the end of the day.
61
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,504
Yeah, no problem.
62
00:02:47,571 --> 00:02:49,406
They're actually
a little narrow for me.
63
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:50,907
Leslie, here's a guy.
64
00:02:50,975 --> 00:02:52,943
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope,
deputy director.
65
00:02:53,011 --> 00:02:55,179
Bill Haggardy,
Pawnee historical society.
66
00:02:55,247 --> 00:02:56,981
I'm supposed to be meeting
with Ron Swanson.
67
00:02:57,049 --> 00:02:59,083
I understand that.
He's tied up right now.
68
00:02:59,151 --> 00:03:00,318
What a shocker.
69
00:03:00,386 --> 00:03:01,920
I've been trying
to meet with him three months
70
00:03:01,988 --> 00:03:03,155
And now he's not available.
71
00:03:03,222 --> 00:03:04,423
It's probably too late now,
72
00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:06,459
But, uh, some rich woman,
Jessica wicks,
73
00:03:06,526 --> 00:03:08,861
Has rented out turnbill mansion
for a party
74
00:03:08,929 --> 00:03:10,764
And she's making alterations.
75
00:03:10,831 --> 00:03:12,432
"alterations"?
76
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:14,134
Turnbill mansion is one
of the most beloved
77
00:03:14,202 --> 00:03:15,936
Historical sites in Pawnee.
78
00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:19,940
In 1867, the progressive
reverend turnbill
79
00:03:20,008 --> 00:03:22,342
Officiated a wedding
between a white woman
80
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,646
And a wamapoke Indian chief.
81
00:03:25,713 --> 00:03:29,950
The secret ceremony
was beautiful and romantic.
82
00:03:30,017 --> 00:03:31,251
But then word got out
83
00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:35,989
And the reception
was a bloodbath.
84
00:03:36,057 --> 00:03:39,159
Fortunately,
there were two survivors.
85
00:03:39,227 --> 00:03:41,662
Unfortunately,
they were both horses.
86
00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:45,033
Hold up. Former beauty queen
Jessica wicks?
87
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,601
- Yes.
- I'm Tom Haverford.
88
00:03:46,669 --> 00:03:48,503
I'm gonna be running point
on this, bill.
89
00:03:48,571 --> 00:03:49,704
Why didn't you try to stop her?
90
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,039
Her husband
is Nick Newport, Sr.
91
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:52,374
From sweetums.
92
00:03:52,442 --> 00:03:54,343
Everyone in this town
is afraid to say no to him.
93
00:03:54,411 --> 00:03:55,511
Okay, everybody just relax.
94
00:03:55,579 --> 00:03:57,880
What alterations
is she trying to make?
95
00:03:57,948 --> 00:04:01,484
Drilling holes. Painting.
Uh, removing wainscoting.
96
00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:03,653
Uh, she's tearing down
the gazebo.
97
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,088
What? She's what?
No, she's not.
98
00:04:06,156 --> 00:04:07,390
Okay, Tom, go get the car.
99
00:04:07,457 --> 00:04:09,525
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry.
100
00:04:09,593 --> 00:04:11,894
- Don't throw things at me.
- Oh, these are tight.
101
00:04:11,962 --> 00:04:14,230
I'll devise an action plan
102
00:04:14,298 --> 00:04:16,065
To help us coordinate better
among the departments.
103
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:18,368
Will you? Great.
Thanks for coming in.
104
00:04:18,435 --> 00:04:21,004
Who's next?
Tom, I'll meet you at the car.
105
00:04:21,072 --> 00:04:22,072
Where the hell are you going?
106
00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:23,073
We have 91 more meetings.
107
00:04:23,141 --> 00:04:24,074
I'm sorry, Ron.
108
00:04:24,142 --> 00:04:25,509
As much as I would like to go
109
00:04:25,576 --> 00:04:27,444
For the all-time, city hall
single day meetings record,
110
00:04:27,512 --> 00:04:29,179
There is an emergency.
111
00:04:29,246 --> 00:04:35,017
Someone is trying to alter
a gazebo.
112
00:04:35,084 --> 00:04:36,885
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Ann.
113
00:04:36,953 --> 00:04:39,054
Sorry I can't hang out.
I kind of have an emergency.
114
00:04:39,122 --> 00:04:40,689
Oh, I'm actually here
to see mark.
115
00:04:40,757 --> 00:04:42,992
Right. Oh, well,
thanks for the coffee.
116
00:04:43,059 --> 00:04:45,728
- That's also for mark.
- Mm. I really need it though.
117
00:04:45,795 --> 00:04:48,764
But next time more sugar.
Okay, thanks. Bye!
118
00:04:48,832 --> 00:04:50,333
Um, do you want me
to postpone the rest?
119
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,936
Or I could set myself on fire
and create a diversion.
120
00:04:53,004 --> 00:04:54,938
No. I'm gonna do
all of these today.
121
00:04:55,006 --> 00:04:56,373
Round up whoever's free.
122
00:04:56,441 --> 00:04:59,476
I'm gonna need more
Ron Swansons.
123
00:04:59,544 --> 00:05:01,778
Look at that.
It's gorgeous.
124
00:05:01,846 --> 00:05:04,715
What kind of monster
would want to change this?
125
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:07,117
- Ugh! Pre-zit.
126
00:05:07,185 --> 00:05:09,486
Do you have any, uh,
brown concealer by any chance?
127
00:05:09,554 --> 00:05:11,254
I need to look good
for Jessica.
128
00:05:11,322 --> 00:05:13,757
They may be rich, but they
can't just destroy history.
129
00:05:13,825 --> 00:05:15,558
Let's go.
Right behind you.
130
00:05:15,626 --> 00:05:19,662
I just need to spend a minute
on my cologne cloud.
131
00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:22,499
- [coughs] what is that?
- Attack by Dennis Feinstein.
132
00:05:22,566 --> 00:05:23,767
When you want to attack
the senses
133
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:25,135
Of the lady you want to bed.
134
00:05:25,203 --> 00:05:28,271
- Oh, my God.
- Door! Door! Door! Door!
135
00:05:28,339 --> 00:05:29,773
Close it.
Ugh.
136
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:33,110
So basically,
we're completely swamped.
137
00:05:33,177 --> 00:05:34,678
All hands on deck.
138
00:05:34,746 --> 00:05:36,079
I don't even work
in this building.
139
00:05:36,147 --> 00:05:38,615
Don't care. I need anyone
with a pulse and a brain
140
00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:39,683
To pitch in.
141
00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:41,985
Ron, do you need help
with anything?
142
00:05:42,053 --> 00:05:43,253
No. We're good. Thanks.
143
00:05:43,321 --> 00:05:45,822
In fact,
you can head home early.
144
00:05:45,890 --> 00:05:47,424
Right now the four of us
are going to divvy up
145
00:05:47,492 --> 00:05:48,759
All these meetings.
146
00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:50,293
Just make 'em feel
like they've been heard.
147
00:05:50,361 --> 00:05:51,995
Understood?
Yes, sir.
148
00:05:52,063 --> 00:05:55,999
Bert Macklin, FBI, on the case.
149
00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:58,134
April,
you take Leslie's office.
150
00:05:58,202 --> 00:05:59,602
Andy,
you're in the conference room.
151
00:05:59,670 --> 00:06:01,505
Ann, take your meetings
in the courtyard.
152
00:06:01,573 --> 00:06:05,309
Just sit there
and don't ruin the city.
153
00:06:05,377 --> 00:06:08,847
Dismissed.
154
00:06:08,915 --> 00:06:10,015
What are you doing?
155
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:12,318
Can I get a badge?
156
00:06:12,386 --> 00:06:16,523
Hey. Brought you coffee.
Help you get through the day.
157
00:06:16,591 --> 00:06:22,129
- Thanks, dude.
- No problem, lady.
158
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:27,434
I'm gonna go.
Okay.
159
00:06:27,502 --> 00:06:31,038
April is the best.
But she's 20.
160
00:06:31,106 --> 00:06:33,040
When April was born,
I was already in 3rd grade.
161
00:06:33,108 --> 00:06:34,875
Which means if we were
friends back then,
162
00:06:34,943 --> 00:06:37,711
I'd have been hanging out
with a baby.
163
00:06:37,779 --> 00:06:41,047
I don't know anything
about infant care.
164
00:06:41,115 --> 00:06:45,585
My God, I could've killed her.
165
00:06:45,652 --> 00:06:47,386
Ah, Mr. Newport, Sr.
166
00:06:47,454 --> 00:06:48,854
I've just been informed
that you plan
167
00:06:48,922 --> 00:06:50,189
On altering this mansion.
168
00:06:50,257 --> 00:06:52,258
And as a member
of the parks department,
169
00:06:52,325 --> 00:06:54,460
As a pawneean, and an American,
170
00:06:54,527 --> 00:06:56,528
I ask you to refrain
171
00:06:56,596 --> 00:06:59,565
From harming this historic
structure.
172
00:06:59,632 --> 00:07:00,699
What?
173
00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,302
I'll take care of this,
love nut.
174
00:07:02,369 --> 00:07:04,704
- Biscuit.
- Yeah. Hi.
175
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:08,241
I'm Jessica wicks.
Miss Pawnee 1994.
176
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:09,475
Hello.
Yes, we've met before.
177
00:07:09,543 --> 00:07:11,277
We were both judges
at the pageant last year.
178
00:07:11,345 --> 00:07:14,181
Leslie Knorp.
Of course. How are you?
179
00:07:14,249 --> 00:07:16,683
Jessica wicks! Hey, boo.
180
00:07:16,751 --> 00:07:19,353
Are you aging in reverse
'cause you look barely legal?
181
00:07:19,421 --> 00:07:20,621
Tom Haverford.
182
00:07:20,689 --> 00:07:22,557
If you're not the most
charming man in Indiana.
183
00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:25,293
And this must be
the luckiest man in Indiana.
184
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,763
Sir, it is an honor
to meet you.
185
00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:32,200
Come here, you.
186
00:07:32,268 --> 00:07:35,470
Tell me straight.
Are you a Chinese?
187
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:38,807
No. I'm one of
the Indian people.
188
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,442
That floppy old bag of money
189
00:07:40,509 --> 00:07:42,777
Is gonna be dead in, like,
a month.
190
00:07:42,845 --> 00:07:44,946
And who's going
to comfort Jessica
191
00:07:45,014 --> 00:07:47,182
And her millions of dollars?
192
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:51,253
Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger,
but I'm a gold digger digger.
193
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,590
So how did you
and Mr. Newport meet?
194
00:07:54,657 --> 00:07:57,626
Well, I was doing a ribbon
cutting at the hospital.
195
00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:00,230
And he was there
because his blood doesn't work.
196
00:08:00,297 --> 00:08:01,965
And we started talking.
197
00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:03,734
And then I realized who he was.
198
00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:07,471
[laughs] oh, my gosh.
It was love at first sight.
199
00:08:07,539 --> 00:08:09,640
Oh, that sounds so romantic.
200
00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:12,243
Um, Jessica, I know
you've rented out this house
201
00:08:12,311 --> 00:08:14,412
For a party, but it's
on the historical register
202
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:15,847
So we can't allow any changes.
203
00:08:15,915 --> 00:08:17,248
I--I'm so sorry.
204
00:08:17,316 --> 00:08:20,285
[laughs] it's a little late
for that, sweetheart.
205
00:08:20,352 --> 00:08:22,320
I told them what I was doing
months ago.
206
00:08:22,388 --> 00:08:24,089
Where I come from
there's a saying
207
00:08:24,157 --> 00:08:26,091
"what's done is done."
Hmm.
208
00:08:26,159 --> 00:08:27,459
That's a saying everywhere.
209
00:08:27,527 --> 00:08:28,561
I've never heard it before
210
00:08:28,628 --> 00:08:29,862
And I think
it's a great saying.
211
00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:31,397
Well, maybe we can just limit
the damage.
212
00:08:31,465 --> 00:08:34,768
How much have you done?
You painted this?
213
00:08:34,836 --> 00:08:37,871
- Uh-huh. Miami teal is Nicky's
favorite color.
214
00:08:37,939 --> 00:08:40,107
We also replaced
some of the sconces,
215
00:08:40,174 --> 00:08:42,943
Got rid of the furniture,
painted these floors black.
216
00:08:43,011 --> 00:08:44,233
Oh, my God, these were
the original hardwood floors.
217
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,801
Yeah. They were all
scratched up.
218
00:08:46,869 --> 00:08:48,903
I did you a favor.
Come on in here.
219
00:08:48,971 --> 00:08:50,638
I'll show you guys
what we did in the sitting room.
220
00:08:50,706 --> 00:08:52,773
After you.
I'd hate to miss the view.
221
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,204
I should just pay you
to follow me around.
222
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:58,805
If that's a job offer,
I accept.
223
00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:00,607
Oh, my God.
224
00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:03,009
Why did you have to drill holes
in the wall?
225
00:09:03,077 --> 00:09:06,379
To hang my birthday present
to Nicky.
226
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:07,881
My heavens.
227
00:09:07,949 --> 00:09:11,752
- Isn't there a way that
that you--oh, my.
228
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,386
History is important.
229
00:09:13,454 --> 00:09:15,155
You just can't go around
changing everything
230
00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:17,090
All the time or else
next thing you know
231
00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:19,960
They'll be painting
the white house...
232
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:22,562
Not white.
233
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:25,966
I'm so angry,
I can't think of another color.
234
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,334
Green.
235
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,602
So your department banned me
from attending games
236
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,171
Just because I yell
"you suck" at the players.
237
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,573
According to the complaint,
238
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,075
You yelled it
at five-year-old girls.
239
00:09:40,939 --> 00:09:43,340
I thought I was having
this meeting with Ron Swanson.
240
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:45,576
I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's
241
00:09:45,643 --> 00:09:46,877
Currently dead.
242
00:09:46,945 --> 00:09:48,278
- Oh.
- I'm his daughter.
243
00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:50,113
April Swanson.
244
00:09:50,181 --> 00:09:52,349
And it's his last wish
245
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,484
That I have this meeting
with you.
246
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,653
I represent the ultimate
Frisbee league.
247
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,089
- Pawnee has an ultimate league?
- Yes.
248
00:09:59,157 --> 00:10:01,124
And we keep running
into conflicts--
249
00:10:01,192 --> 00:10:03,994
- You won me over.
I will join your team.
250
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,196
- I'm sorry,
um, what we need--
251
00:10:06,264 --> 00:10:08,365
- When does practice start?
And do you provide the jerseys?
252
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:09,900
What color are the jerseys
by the way?
253
00:10:09,968 --> 00:10:13,503
What's our team name?
Are we "the lightning"?
254
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,805
Now, I have to tell you,
255
00:10:14,873 --> 00:10:16,640
I don't actually work
in the parks department.
256
00:10:16,708 --> 00:10:19,576
I'm a nurse.
Seriously?
257
00:10:19,644 --> 00:10:20,744
That's great news.
258
00:10:20,812 --> 00:10:24,581
I have the weirdest thing
on my arm.
259
00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:28,151
Can you see this?
Every time.
260
00:10:28,219 --> 00:10:30,921
Well, thank God you haven't
torn down the gazebo yet.
261
00:10:30,989 --> 00:10:32,823
Ugh. Don't remind me.
262
00:10:32,891 --> 00:10:35,425
The demolition people couldn't
get here until this afternoon.
263
00:10:35,493 --> 00:10:38,095
I've had to look
at that ugly thing all day long.
264
00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:40,230
Ugly thing?
265
00:10:40,298 --> 00:10:41,498
Let me tell you
a little something
266
00:10:41,566 --> 00:10:43,467
About this ugly thing, ma'am.
267
00:10:43,534 --> 00:10:45,469
150 years ago,
an interracial couple
268
00:10:45,536 --> 00:10:46,970
Was married here
and then slaughtered
269
00:10:47,038 --> 00:10:48,572
By their own families.
270
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,208
It's one of the most beautiful
stories in Pawnee's history.
271
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,609
Why are you trying
to destroy it?
272
00:10:52,677 --> 00:10:54,544
Don't tell me
about Pawnee history.
273
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,480
The newports made this town.
274
00:10:58,839 --> 00:11:03,276
85th birthday without this
mushy, old, pile of rot.
275
00:11:03,344 --> 00:11:05,044
Your husband's
a mushy, old, pile of rot.
276
00:11:05,112 --> 00:11:06,446
You were a stick in the mud
277
00:11:06,514 --> 00:11:08,314
When we judged
that beauty pageant
278
00:11:08,382 --> 00:11:10,450
And you're being
a stick in the mud now!
279
00:11:10,518 --> 00:11:12,552
I am not a stick in the mud!
280
00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:16,589
I-I just want to stop a party
from happening.
281
00:11:16,657 --> 00:11:18,725
Ron, I have a gazebo update
282
00:11:18,792 --> 00:11:20,994
So ignore all my previous
voicemails and emails.
283
00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:23,863
Uh, Leslie, I haven't
relieved myself in five hours.
284
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,932
So if you'll excuse me.
285
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,300
Ron, I'm sorry,
but this can't wait.
286
00:11:27,368 --> 00:11:30,370
Jessica wicks refuses--
- Leslie, what the [bleep]?
287
00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:31,838
- Hey!
- Miss Knope!
288
00:11:31,906 --> 00:11:33,706
Councilman Howser!
Nice to see you again.
289
00:11:33,774 --> 00:11:35,608
Not that I saw anything
other than your face.
290
00:11:35,676 --> 00:11:37,076
And I would like to talk
to you a little bit
291
00:11:37,144 --> 00:11:38,278
About this gazebo thing.
292
00:11:38,345 --> 00:11:39,546
You know, the p--
okay. Okay.
293
00:11:39,613 --> 00:11:42,582
Enough of this.
Do whatever you want.
294
00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:44,984
Alert the media.
Call FEMA. I don't care.
295
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,420
Do not bother me
with this again.
296
00:11:47,488 --> 00:11:51,758
[sighs]
297
00:11:51,825 --> 00:11:53,860
- Miss Knope.
- Councilman Howser.
298
00:11:53,928 --> 00:11:55,495
I saw your penis.
299
00:11:55,563 --> 00:11:58,298
There are eight swings
at Ramsett park
300
00:11:58,365 --> 00:12:00,333
And every single one of them
is broken.
301
00:12:00,401 --> 00:12:02,435
Can you please
just fix one of them?
302
00:12:03,003 --> 00:12:05,938
Ron told me I can't
say yes to anything.
303
00:12:06,006 --> 00:12:09,608
But it's such
a reasonable request,
304
00:12:09,676 --> 00:12:11,243
I can't just say no.
305
00:12:12,211 --> 00:12:15,480
[crackling exhale]
So that's a "yes"?
306
00:12:16,007 --> 00:12:18,141
Just say out loud
"yes" or "no".
307
00:12:18,209 --> 00:12:23,980
- Eeeeeee-boop!
308
00:12:24,048 --> 00:12:26,783
Yeah, they do look
a little bit swollen.
309
00:12:26,851 --> 00:12:29,419
Just follow the pen.
310
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:32,922
Follow the pen t...
311
00:12:32,990 --> 00:12:35,191
Does--does that hurt?
312
00:12:35,259 --> 00:12:36,626
[exhales]
313
00:12:37,694 --> 00:12:39,228
There's no way
this ordinance goes through.
314
00:12:39,295 --> 00:12:40,229
There's too much red tape.
315
00:12:40,296 --> 00:12:41,530
Mm. This gridlock
drives me nuts.
316
00:12:41,598 --> 00:12:42,698
Tell me about it.
317
00:12:42,766 --> 00:12:44,066
Yeah, I think
you're gonna have to make
318
00:12:44,134 --> 00:12:45,200
An end run, you know?
319
00:12:45,268 --> 00:12:46,568
Go right to the commissioner
on this one.
320
00:12:46,636 --> 00:12:47,970
You know what,
I hadn't thought of that.
321
00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:49,338
That is a really great idea.
Yeah?
322
00:12:49,406 --> 00:12:51,373
- I'm gonna do that.
- Okay.
323
00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:53,809
Your last resort is probably
gonna be city council.
324
00:12:53,877 --> 00:12:57,046
- Good luck there. [chuckles]
- Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
325
00:12:57,113 --> 00:12:59,314
I have no idea
what I was saying.
326
00:12:59,382 --> 00:13:00,449
I ask you,
327
00:13:00,517 --> 00:13:02,718
Is this too revealing
for a public pool?
328
00:13:02,786 --> 00:13:05,387
Kindly get your groin
off my desk.
329
00:13:05,455 --> 00:13:09,124
So my body makes you
uncomfortable too?
330
00:13:09,192 --> 00:13:11,527
Hey, mark,
I'm kind of freaking out
331
00:13:11,594 --> 00:13:13,429
About this historical
mansion thing.
332
00:13:13,496 --> 00:13:14,697
Can I talk to you for a second?
333
00:13:14,764 --> 00:13:16,465
I'm actually headed
right out the door.
334
00:13:16,533 --> 00:13:18,200
Oh, you're going on a date
with Ann?
335
00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:19,802
Uh, yeah, I was gonna
surprise her.
336
00:13:19,869 --> 00:13:21,070
Take her to a nice restaurant.
337
00:13:21,137 --> 00:13:22,371
- Don't worry about it.
- You sure now?
338
00:13:22,439 --> 00:13:24,373
Yeah. Have a good time.
339
00:13:24,441 --> 00:13:26,642
- How we doing?
- Pretty good.
340
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:30,479
I may have promised a new
aquatic center to somebody.
341
00:13:30,547 --> 00:13:31,814
Is that a problem?
342
00:13:31,881 --> 00:13:33,782
I diagnosed two melanomas.
343
00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:34,850
They're both benign.
344
00:13:38,644 --> 00:13:40,612
April was supposed
to be the moat
345
00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:44,749
That kept the citizen barbarians
away from Swanson castle.
346
00:13:44,817 --> 00:13:48,820
Instead, she blew up the castle
and stabbed me in the face.
347
00:13:48,887 --> 00:13:54,058
I hired you to do one thing.
Just one.
348
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:56,995
I don't care that you text
all day and sleep at your desk.
349
00:13:57,062 --> 00:13:58,963
In fact, I encourage it.
350
00:13:59,031 --> 00:14:02,133
But only because you were doing
that one thing...
351
00:14:02,201 --> 00:14:06,137
Keeping this crap off my desk!
352
00:14:06,205 --> 00:14:09,574
Give me five minutes
before the next one.
353
00:14:14,947 --> 00:14:16,281
That guy is scary
when he's angry.
354
00:14:16,348 --> 00:14:18,383
Yeah, God, I know.
355
00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:22,787
Hey, sorry, dude.
I don't need your sympathy.
356
00:14:22,855 --> 00:14:24,055
Or yours.
357
00:14:24,123 --> 00:14:27,692
I wasn't offering my sympathy.
358
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,027
Thank you for meeting me here.
359
00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:31,429
Sure. What's up?
360
00:14:31,497 --> 00:14:32,897
Okay, I need you to get this
word for word.
361
00:14:32,965 --> 00:14:35,767
It's a tape recorder
so it will.
362
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,236
- [dramatically] gazebo?
More like "Ga-zoinks-Bo."
363
00:14:38,304 --> 00:14:39,604
She may be
a former beauty queen,
364
00:14:39,672 --> 00:14:42,206
But today she's the king
of destroying history.
365
00:14:42,274 --> 00:14:43,941
Okay, could you just,
maybe, talk normally?
366
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,177
- Okay, fine.
Ga-zoinks-Bo.
367
00:14:46,245 --> 00:14:47,879
Jessica wicks is throwing
a birthday party
368
00:14:47,946 --> 00:14:49,647
For her husband,
Nick Newport, Sr.,
369
00:14:49,715 --> 00:14:50,848
At the turnbill mansion
tonight.
370
00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:53,017
Okay, I'm gonna stop you
right there.
371
00:14:56,177 --> 00:14:57,678
So?
372
00:14:57,746 --> 00:14:58,846
Sweetums owns
the Pawnee journal.
373
00:14:58,914 --> 00:15:01,181
- Crrr-AP on the cob.
374
00:15:01,249 --> 00:15:03,517
I will take it
into consideration.
375
00:15:03,585 --> 00:15:07,521
Thank God!
That was it, right?
376
00:15:07,589 --> 00:15:09,924
- Uh, no, there's one more.
- Damn it to hell!
377
00:15:09,991 --> 00:15:11,592
It's with me.
And it's right now.
378
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,028
And it's about me quitting.
379
00:15:14,095 --> 00:15:17,965
I quit.
380
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:19,433
I have no other choice, okay?
381
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,670
This is the only rational way
I know to prevent this tragedy.
382
00:15:22,737 --> 00:15:24,738
[vehicle approaching]
oh, my God. Here they come.
383
00:15:24,806 --> 00:15:26,407
Tom, throw away the key!
Seriously?
384
00:15:26,474 --> 00:15:28,943
Yes, throw it!
385
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:30,277
Out of the way!
386
00:15:30,345 --> 00:15:32,479
Sir, I'm sorry,
but you're a little late.
387
00:15:32,547 --> 00:15:34,114
You're gonna have to turn
this thing around
388
00:15:34,182 --> 00:15:37,418
'cause you're not getting
in here.
389
00:15:37,485 --> 00:15:40,788
My God. Tom, stop him!
Jump in front of it!
390
00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:45,025
Sacrifice your tiny body!
391
00:15:48,063 --> 00:15:50,197
Really thought that gate
would open in the middle.
392
00:15:53,309 --> 00:15:55,176
Well, the gazebo
has been destroyed.
393
00:15:55,244 --> 00:15:58,613
And the thing that bothers me
the most--
394
00:15:58,681 --> 00:16:00,048
Cut it out, Tom.
395
00:16:00,115 --> 00:16:03,518
- It never gets old!
- [Sighs]
396
00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:05,119
Oh, hey, Ann and mark
are coming!
397
00:16:05,187 --> 00:16:07,388
Guys, not so close.
You're gonna--you're gonna--
398
00:16:10,548 --> 00:16:12,449
- Sensor.
399
00:16:12,517 --> 00:16:14,251
Sorry if I ruined your evening.
400
00:16:14,319 --> 00:16:16,854
- Leslie, it's totally fine.
- I chained myself to a gate.
401
00:16:16,921 --> 00:16:18,589
- I can see that.
- Are you okay?
402
00:16:18,656 --> 00:16:21,925
Nothing's bruised but my ego
and my arm a little
403
00:16:21,993 --> 00:16:23,660
From the mechanized gate.
404
00:16:23,728 --> 00:16:25,796
Thanks again for letting me
take those meetings today.
405
00:16:25,864 --> 00:16:28,298
I've never really had
a meeting before.
406
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,467
They're awesome.
You're welcome.
407
00:16:30,535 --> 00:16:31,668
Hey, have you seen April
around?
408
00:16:31,736 --> 00:16:33,103
She usually comes by
at the end of the day.
409
00:16:33,171 --> 00:16:35,005
You might want to check
her house.
410
00:16:35,073 --> 00:16:36,340
She quit on me.
411
00:16:36,407 --> 00:16:37,975
What? Why?
412
00:16:38,042 --> 00:16:40,711
She screwed up
my entire life today.
413
00:16:40,778 --> 00:16:43,814
That was one mistake.
She's perfect for you.
414
00:16:43,882 --> 00:16:45,349
Come on. There's no one
in the world
415
00:16:45,416 --> 00:16:48,952
Who's gonna do a better job
for you than April.
416
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:50,487
Either you hire her back
or I quit.
417
00:16:50,555 --> 00:16:53,957
- You don't work for me.
- And I never will, sir.
418
00:16:54,025 --> 00:16:55,392
Good day.
419
00:17:00,899 --> 00:17:02,866
So what'd you guys
talk about at dinner?
420
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:05,669
Huh? Was it fun?
Any big decisions arrived at?
421
00:17:05,737 --> 00:17:08,372
- It was fine.
- Uh, do you need a ride home?
422
00:17:08,439 --> 00:17:11,375
No, Tom's gonna take me.
You guys go on ahead.
423
00:17:11,442 --> 00:17:12,976
I'm glad you're okay.
Call me tomorrow.
424
00:17:13,044 --> 00:17:15,445
Bye, Leslie.
425
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:22,219
Well, hello there.
You must be Ron Swanson.
426
00:17:22,287 --> 00:17:24,054
Well, welcome
to castle Ludgate!
427
00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:29,349
- Larry, who is it?
- It's Zuzu's boss.
428
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:32,018
Oho, Ron. Rita Ludgate.
429
00:17:32,086 --> 00:17:35,488
Oh, you have no idea how nice
it is to meet you.
430
00:17:35,556 --> 00:17:38,391
Well, oh, come in,
for gosh sake.
431
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:39,559
What can I get you to drink?
432
00:17:39,627 --> 00:17:42,595
Ooh. Could you take
your shoes off, please?
433
00:17:42,663 --> 00:17:44,964
Thank you so much.
434
00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,466
Uh, nothing to drink.
Thanks.
435
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:49,035
- Oh.
- Is April around?
436
00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:51,671
Uh, Zuzu, you have a guest!
437
00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:52,805
Well, I'll fetch her.
438
00:17:52,873 --> 00:17:55,575
She's probably
on the Internet again.
439
00:17:55,643 --> 00:17:57,577
- Uh, I'll come with you.
- Okay.
440
00:17:57,645 --> 00:17:59,746
Uh, you make yourself
at home, Mr. Swanson.
441
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:04,450
Thank you.
442
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:09,789
You must be April's sister.
I'm Ron.
443
00:18:13,627 --> 00:18:16,029
[clears throat]
nice to meet you.
444
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:19,098
No offense, but I think
the normal grieving time
445
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:22,368
For gazebo destruction
has passed.
446
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:24,570
Yeah, well,
maybe that's not entirely
447
00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:27,473
What I'm upset about.
448
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,076
Mark and Ann
are gonna get married.
449
00:18:30,144 --> 00:18:33,846
Really?
Why does that bother you?
450
00:18:33,914 --> 00:18:35,415
I should be the one
that's upset.
451
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:38,351
It was supposed to be
me and Ann, or me and Jessica,
452
00:18:38,419 --> 00:18:42,355
Or Ann and Jessica
with me watching.
453
00:18:42,423 --> 00:18:44,123
Every time a couple
gets married,
454
00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:48,617
I'm about to lose
two good friends.
455
00:18:48,685 --> 00:18:49,918
Come on.
456
00:18:49,986 --> 00:18:53,622
They drove over here
and cut you down from a gate.
457
00:18:53,690 --> 00:18:55,791
I really don't think
you have to worry about them
458
00:18:55,859 --> 00:18:57,660
Abandoning you
once you get married.
459
00:18:57,727 --> 00:19:00,062
Yeah, yeah, I know that.
In my brain.
460
00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:02,398
- Can we go?
- Yeah. Let's go.
461
00:19:02,465 --> 00:19:04,733
I just need to go
do one more thing.
462
00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:07,069
- Ah, come on. No! No, no, no.
- Yes.
463
00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:10,072
♪ loving smiles ♪
464
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:15,110
♪ and smiling tears ♪
465
00:19:15,178 --> 00:19:18,447
♪ the midnight of my heart ♪
466
00:19:18,515 --> 00:19:21,550
♪ is you ♪
Okay, I'm sorry, everyone.
467
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:25,287
Excuse me. Excuse me.
But I need to say something.
468
00:19:25,355 --> 00:19:27,456
- Is that gate lady?
- Yes.
469
00:19:27,524 --> 00:19:28,924
I know you're probably thinking
470
00:19:28,992 --> 00:19:31,093
"there's that crazy gate lady
from outside back again."
471
00:19:31,161 --> 00:19:32,461
And to some extent,
you're right.
472
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:33,729
I am the gate lady.
473
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,030
But the only thing
I'm crazy about
474
00:19:35,098 --> 00:19:36,799
Is leaving the past behind.
475
00:19:36,866 --> 00:19:41,136
So I would like to apologize
and raise a glass
476
00:19:41,204 --> 00:19:45,107
To change, and forgiveness,
and the future,
477
00:19:45,175 --> 00:19:47,476
And Ann and mark,
and happiness,
478
00:19:47,544 --> 00:19:49,144
And Nick Newport, Sr.
479
00:19:49,212 --> 00:19:52,548
May all your future gazebos
live long and prosper.
480
00:19:52,615 --> 00:19:54,750
Please leave.
481
00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:57,252
Is it weird if I ask to take
a piece of cake with me?
482
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,655
I won't.
Go.
483
00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:03,058
Why are you here?
484
00:20:03,549 --> 00:20:06,450
- Come back to work.
- No.
485
00:20:06,518 --> 00:20:10,988
Come back.
I want you to come back.
486
00:20:11,056 --> 00:20:14,292
Well, I don't want
to come back. The end.
487
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:16,661
I was talking to Andy
about you.
488
00:20:16,728 --> 00:20:20,431
And he made me realize
that I need you back at work.
489
00:20:20,499 --> 00:20:22,767
- What did he say?
- Don't recall.
490
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:26,437
- Fine. I'll come back.
- Good.
491
00:20:26,505 --> 00:20:29,574
Okay. I'm leaving.
492
00:20:29,641 --> 00:20:33,477
Bye, Zuzu.
Bye, Duke Silver.
493
00:20:37,416 --> 00:20:39,984
My mom has all your albums.
494
00:20:40,052 --> 00:20:42,019
I recognized you
the day we met.
495
00:20:42,087 --> 00:20:44,956
- Have you told anyone?
- No.
496
00:20:45,023 --> 00:20:47,858
Good girl.
497
00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:51,646
Excuse me.
498
00:20:51,714 --> 00:20:53,382
I had a meeting
with Ron Swanson yesterday,
499
00:20:53,449 --> 00:20:54,750
But I have a little
car trouble.
500
00:20:54,817 --> 00:20:56,251
Sorry, he's busy right now.
501
00:20:56,319 --> 00:20:58,920
Oh. Uh, well,
well, can I reschedule?
502
00:20:58,988 --> 00:21:04,359
Sure. Hmm.
How about June 50th?
503
00:21:04,427 --> 00:21:06,461
You should
come back today at 2:65?
504
00:21:06,529 --> 00:21:09,398
He's available then.
What is going on?
505
00:21:09,465 --> 00:21:10,999
Looks like the only other day
he has open
506
00:21:11,067 --> 00:21:12,467
Is March-tember one-teenth.
507
00:21:12,535 --> 00:21:17,572
Does that work, sir?
[phone rings]
508
00:21:17,573 --> 00:21:20,573
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509
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,074
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