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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,563
- Hey, Pen, you busy?
- Yes. My mom is at the opera with
2
00:00:02,846 --> 00:00:04,531
Dr. Berkowitz, both kids
are out of the house
3
00:00:04,533 --> 00:00:07,036
and I am finally enjoying
some time to myself.
4
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,895
Ooh, wine and coupons. Been there.
5
00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:14,099
Just substitute wine with whiskey,
and coupons with more whiskey.
6
00:00:16,218 --> 00:00:19,472
- Did you want something?
- Just to share some amazing news.
7
00:00:19,556 --> 00:00:21,849
I am... unplugged.
8
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,187
Yeah. No more Internet, no
social media, not even a phone.
9
00:00:26,271 --> 00:00:28,523
Anyway, I really need
to use your computer.
10
00:00:28,606 --> 00:00:30,567
That was quick.
11
00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:33,111
- Why don't you use your own laptop?
- I locked it in my safe.
12
00:00:33,195 --> 00:00:34,258
So?
13
00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:35,972
Combination to my
safe is on my laptop.
14
00:00:37,532 --> 00:00:39,050
You didn't think to write it down...
15
00:00:39,133 --> 00:00:42,036
We all wish we had the last five minutes
of our life back, okay?
16
00:00:44,121 --> 00:00:45,247
I'm with you there!
17
00:00:45,332 --> 00:00:48,960
Anyway, I need to find a new place
to get my eyebrows threaded.
18
00:00:49,043 --> 00:00:50,895
Oh, you can just do
everything else silently.
19
00:00:53,172 --> 00:00:54,207
Whoa!
20
00:00:56,843 --> 00:00:59,679
- Schneider, you came here to watch porn?
- No!
21
00:00:59,762 --> 00:01:01,639
Why won't it stop?
22
00:01:01,723 --> 00:01:04,058
No, I don't wanna chat with you!
23
00:01:06,394 --> 00:01:07,979
What the hell is wrong with you?
24
00:01:08,062 --> 00:01:11,399
Oh, come on, Pen.
No need to cover.
25
00:01:11,483 --> 00:01:14,361
I'm just happy you weren't actually
sittin' there clipping coupons.
26
00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:18,155
And a threesome, eh?
27
00:01:19,574 --> 00:01:21,367
Get your freak on, boo!
28
00:01:22,034 --> 00:01:23,578
Shut up, that's not my porn.
29
00:01:23,661 --> 00:01:25,747
- It's your computer.
- No, it's not my...
30
00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:29,959
It's Alex's.
31
00:01:32,795 --> 00:01:35,214
I'll just use
the old eyebrow-threading place.
32
00:02:26,891 --> 00:02:27,934
Oh.
33
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,187
My baby's watching porn.
34
00:02:32,104 --> 00:02:35,400
My sweet boy
is becoming a gross man!
35
00:02:36,317 --> 00:02:39,195
But, hey, silver lining,
it's normal porn.
36
00:02:39,904 --> 00:02:41,948
A threesome is not normal.
37
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,283
Okay, fine. It's aspirational.
38
00:02:46,869 --> 00:02:50,247
- How do I talk to him about this?
- Uh... you don't.
39
00:02:50,331 --> 00:02:52,374
I'm not looking forward to this, either.
40
00:02:52,459 --> 00:02:54,794
But I have to
because he's obviously curious.
41
00:02:54,877 --> 00:02:57,630
And I don't want it to get stuck
in his brain that this is what sex is.
42
00:02:58,297 --> 00:03:01,884
Yeah. He'd be in
for a long series of disappointments.
43
00:03:04,846 --> 00:03:06,723
What kinda sex talk
did your parents give you?
44
00:03:06,806 --> 00:03:08,599
Because I wanna do the opposite of that.
45
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:13,855
Well, Father believed it's best to have
this kinda discussion in a car
46
00:03:13,938 --> 00:03:15,773
because you don't have
to make eye contact.
47
00:03:15,857 --> 00:03:20,277
Plus, you're traveling in the
same direction, which fosters intimacy.
48
00:03:21,696 --> 00:03:22,989
That's actually good advice.
49
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,658
I was expecting
some unrelatable rich-guy story.
50
00:03:25,742 --> 00:03:28,035
So we're in the Bentley
with our chauffeur, Paco.
51
00:03:30,538 --> 00:03:32,707
Father said it's time to have the talk.
52
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:36,127
We came to the next stoplight.
He hopped out, Paco told me everything.
53
00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:38,379
I need a Paco.
54
00:03:40,173 --> 00:03:42,467
I got a cousin named Paco,
but he's an idiot.
55
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:46,428
Ay, it's not fair that I'm stuck
giving both sex talks.
56
00:03:46,513 --> 00:03:48,139
Alex was supposed to be Victor's job.
57
00:03:48,222 --> 00:03:50,517
- I did my part with Elena.
- How'd it go?
58
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:51,642
Not great.
59
00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:54,896
She asked me what a period was
when she was seven.
60
00:03:54,979 --> 00:03:57,106
I didn't get the period talk
till I was 12.
61
00:03:58,691 --> 00:04:00,693
Paco just called it "Shark Week."
62
00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:09,118
Well, they say you should answer
every question honestly, so I did.
63
00:04:09,744 --> 00:04:12,955
And I ended up going from periods
into the whole sex talk.
64
00:04:13,498 --> 00:04:17,502
Then, Elena said...
"Cool! What's an exclamation point?"
65
00:04:19,754 --> 00:04:21,756
Lucky she didn't ask about a colon.
66
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,469
Sorry, it's just fun to hear
about how you blew it.
67
00:04:27,554 --> 00:04:29,847
It's not like I had a great role model.
68
00:04:29,931 --> 00:04:32,642
My mom's sex talk
was her handing me a white handkerchief
69
00:04:32,725 --> 00:04:34,268
and telling me it was my virginity.
70
00:04:35,937 --> 00:04:39,732
"Lupita, nobody
wants to marry a used handkerchief."
71
00:04:41,275 --> 00:04:44,403
"So, you must keep
men from sneezing in it."
72
00:04:47,281 --> 00:04:48,658
Hello.
73
00:04:48,741 --> 00:04:50,868
Here comes Professor Love now.
74
00:04:52,286 --> 00:04:54,288
- So how was the opera?
- Magnificent.
75
00:04:54,371 --> 00:04:56,235
Oh, when Violetta died of consumption...
76
00:04:56,260 --> 00:04:57,440
Hey, hey.
77
00:04:57,499 --> 00:04:58,626
Spoilers.
78
00:05:00,127 --> 00:05:04,381
Sorry, it's just that her death scene
was so...
79
00:05:04,465 --> 00:05:06,217
Aw. Aw!
80
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:09,220
Here, you may have my handkerchief.
81
00:05:14,516 --> 00:05:16,518
Thank you.
82
00:05:21,858 --> 00:05:23,317
I feel dirty.
83
00:05:25,111 --> 00:05:27,279
The singing was very good.
84
00:05:27,363 --> 00:05:30,157
But the choreography
could have used a little tweaking.
85
00:05:30,241 --> 00:05:33,828
I gave my number to the usher.
I'm sure he'll be calling.
86
00:05:35,246 --> 00:05:37,749
Uh, what was the name of that soprano?
87
00:05:37,832 --> 00:05:39,792
Oh, do you mind
if I just look it up quickly?
88
00:05:39,876 --> 00:05:41,794
No!
89
00:05:55,474 --> 00:05:56,934
Oh, my stars.
90
00:05:59,854 --> 00:06:03,440
I feel compelled to tell you
that this is not my computer.
91
00:06:05,735 --> 00:06:06,986
No, it's Alex's.
92
00:06:07,069 --> 00:06:09,697
That's what we've been talking about.
93
00:06:09,781 --> 00:06:11,448
What? What about Alex?
94
00:06:11,532 --> 00:06:13,743
Mami, don't worry.
It's not really a big deal.
95
00:06:13,826 --> 00:06:16,287
Alex was watching a racy movie.
96
00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:17,789
Cars 2?
97
00:06:25,421 --> 00:06:27,089
More like Cars 3.
98
00:06:31,010 --> 00:06:33,262
Okay, let's stop talking about this.
99
00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:36,223
Yeah, whatever it was, don't worry.
100
00:06:36,307 --> 00:06:40,311
You know, it's normal for a teenage boy
and it's healthy to be curious.
101
00:06:40,394 --> 00:06:42,479
I'm curious. I wanna see
how that movie ends.
102
00:06:44,148 --> 00:06:46,693
Boy, the world has changed.
103
00:06:46,776 --> 00:06:51,948
I... Just think how difficult it was
to see a naked woman in the Renaissance.
104
00:06:52,531 --> 00:06:54,575
You had to pay someone a fortune
105
00:06:54,659 --> 00:06:58,371
to create a giant nude painting
that you couldn't hide from your wife.
106
00:07:01,082 --> 00:07:02,834
When I was a kid,
there was an adult section
107
00:07:02,917 --> 00:07:04,626
in the back of the video store.
108
00:07:04,919 --> 00:07:06,921
Behind the beads.
109
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:13,260
I'd always chicken out
and just rent a Jane Fonda workout tape.
110
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:15,721
Still worked.
111
00:07:17,807 --> 00:07:18,808
Still works.
112
00:07:20,392 --> 00:07:22,561
That's the thing.
It used to be hard to get.
113
00:07:22,644 --> 00:07:24,563
Now there are no restrictions.
114
00:07:24,647 --> 00:07:27,817
You can get a Renaissance painting
right on your computer.
115
00:07:28,985 --> 00:07:31,696
All of this is exactly why
I need to talk to Alex.
116
00:07:31,779 --> 00:07:34,281
You know, with the Internet,
kids see too much too soon.
117
00:07:34,365 --> 00:07:37,534
Then porn makes them grow up thinking
that's what sex is supposed to be like.
118
00:07:37,618 --> 00:07:40,621
How bad was this movie
that papito was watching?
119
00:07:40,705 --> 00:07:41,706
- Awful.
- Pretty tame.
120
00:07:43,708 --> 00:07:45,001
Okay. Show me.
121
00:07:45,084 --> 00:07:47,003
Yeah, that's not happening.
122
00:07:47,086 --> 00:07:50,757
Lydia, you asked me to turn away
when you buckled your shoe.
123
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,508
This is not for you.
124
00:07:52,591 --> 00:07:54,385
- Por favor.
- No, Mami.
125
00:07:54,468 --> 00:07:55,469
¡Mira!
126
00:07:55,552 --> 00:07:57,930
I was married for over 40 years.
127
00:07:58,014 --> 00:08:01,893
If anything, it is a shame
that Berto and I went unrecorded.
128
00:08:01,976 --> 00:08:03,269
- ¡Dame esa cosa!
- Ay.
129
00:08:35,676 --> 00:08:37,178
Burn this.
130
00:08:49,899 --> 00:08:51,525
Why is everyone staring at me?
131
00:08:52,693 --> 00:08:53,778
Is there a bug on me?
132
00:08:54,528 --> 00:08:55,780
Is there a bug on me?
133
00:08:56,488 --> 00:08:59,909
No, papito, you are bug-free
and perfect as always.
134
00:08:59,992 --> 00:09:03,579
Yeah. Stand there,
so I can always remember you this way.
135
00:09:05,622 --> 00:09:08,292
Finn sent me a video to check out.
Have you seen my laptop?
136
00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:09,460
No!
137
00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:12,754
What's wrong? Does it have a virus?
138
00:09:12,839 --> 00:09:14,799
It is sick. Yes.
139
00:09:16,717 --> 00:09:18,344
Is anybody gonna tell
me what's going on?
140
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,972
- Yeah, I'm out.
- Yes, I should probably go, too.
141
00:09:21,055 --> 00:09:22,565
Thank you for a lovely evening.
142
00:09:23,566 --> 00:09:24,684
Okay, sit down.
143
00:09:24,766 --> 00:09:26,643
We need to talk about something.
144
00:09:26,727 --> 00:09:28,020
I am going to leave.
145
00:09:28,103 --> 00:09:31,190
Because... this, like
many things in life,
146
00:09:31,215 --> 00:09:34,300
can best be done only
between two peoples.
147
00:09:41,158 --> 00:09:44,537
- Seriously, what's going on?
- Don't worry. It's nothing bad.
148
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:49,666
- It's just about sex.
- Oh, God!
149
00:09:52,628 --> 00:09:53,795
Okay...
150
00:09:57,508 --> 00:09:58,542
Great start.
151
00:10:00,177 --> 00:10:01,303
Ay...
152
00:10:02,304 --> 00:10:03,764
Look...
153
00:10:04,598 --> 00:10:08,144
It's totally natural for you
to be curious about sex.
154
00:10:11,063 --> 00:10:12,940
If you ever have any questions,
155
00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:15,442
I want you to feel
like you can come to me.
156
00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:23,784
Do you have any questions?
157
00:10:25,161 --> 00:10:26,162
Yes.
158
00:10:27,079 --> 00:10:29,874
When is this going to be over?
159
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:34,128
I get it.
This is uncomfortable for me, too.
160
00:10:34,628 --> 00:10:37,256
But it's important
to talk about this stuff.
161
00:10:37,339 --> 00:10:40,927
Because I just...
I want you to understand that...
162
00:10:43,888 --> 00:10:48,475
sex can be a really
beautiful experience.
163
00:10:50,561 --> 00:10:51,728
I know.
164
00:10:51,812 --> 00:10:55,524
But look... there's reality,
then there's pornography.
165
00:10:55,607 --> 00:10:58,110
Why are you doing this to me?
166
00:10:58,945 --> 00:11:01,030
For instance, two women with one man,
167
00:11:01,113 --> 00:11:02,114
- it's just...
- What?
168
00:11:02,198 --> 00:11:03,824
What are you talking about?
169
00:11:04,158 --> 00:11:05,534
You can do that?
170
00:11:08,829 --> 00:11:10,372
Alex, it's okay.
171
00:11:10,456 --> 00:11:12,208
I know you were watching a video
like that on the computer.
172
00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:13,875
- What? No, I wasn't.
- Don't lie to me.
173
00:11:13,959 --> 00:11:15,419
I'm not lying. I'm not stupid.
174
00:11:15,502 --> 00:11:18,213
I know you put software into it
that tells you everything I look at.
175
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,177
That's right, mister.
176
00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:29,516
I did order that and installed that,
and that's how I found out about this.
177
00:11:30,893 --> 00:11:33,187
Mom, you gotta believe me.
178
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:34,605
I would never do that.
179
00:11:34,688 --> 00:11:37,566
I spent my whole life
trying to avoid this conversation.
180
00:11:40,944 --> 00:11:42,863
Okay. Well, then, if wasn't you,
who was it?
181
00:11:44,323 --> 00:11:46,033
- Was it you?
- No!
182
00:11:46,783 --> 00:11:47,784
It wasn't me.
183
00:11:49,036 --> 00:11:51,538
- Abuelita?
- No!
184
00:11:53,207 --> 00:11:54,458
Hey, guys!
185
00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:56,085
I'm exhausted. Good night.
186
00:11:59,255 --> 00:12:00,714
Elena!
187
00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:08,430
Well, that is unexpected.
Did she admit to watching it?
188
00:12:08,514 --> 00:12:10,849
I didn't have the heart to ask her
about it last night.
189
00:12:10,932 --> 00:12:13,019
After introducing my 12-year-old son
to threesomes,
190
00:12:13,102 --> 00:12:15,562
I figured that was enough
great parenting for one day.
191
00:12:16,897 --> 00:12:18,815
I don't even know
what I'm gonna say to Elena.
192
00:12:18,899 --> 00:12:21,235
I can't believe I have to have
another porn conversation.
193
00:12:21,318 --> 00:12:23,945
Oh, you guys are talking about porn
without my sexpertise?
194
00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:27,283
Great, I was hoping to get
another opinion on this.
195
00:12:27,366 --> 00:12:29,451
Yes, let's catch you up.
196
00:12:30,661 --> 00:12:33,164
We were just saying
that with all the porn available now,
197
00:12:33,247 --> 00:12:34,665
it's a real problem.
198
00:12:34,748 --> 00:12:38,460
Yeah. There's not enough hours in a day
to watch it all.
199
00:12:38,544 --> 00:12:39,920
Okay, so we heard from you.
200
00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:43,799
Well, girls these days are exposed to
so much more than my generation was.
201
00:12:43,882 --> 00:12:46,218
Or...
your generation, Penelope.
202
00:12:48,762 --> 00:12:51,348
- I mean, 15 is the new 25.
- Yes.
203
00:12:51,932 --> 00:12:55,227
And I'm not naive.
But Elena's just not that advanced.
204
00:12:55,311 --> 00:12:56,728
She's never even had a boyfriend.
205
00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:59,315
She just started kinda seeing
this boy named Josh,
206
00:12:59,398 --> 00:13:01,024
but all they've done is kissed.
207
00:13:01,108 --> 00:13:03,026
Aw, you're adorable.
208
00:13:06,947 --> 00:13:10,284
I'm sure Josh is the one teenage boy
that loves just kissing.
209
00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:18,625
Maybe I should be worried about Josh.
210
00:13:19,585 --> 00:13:20,878
Is he pressuring her?
211
00:13:21,879 --> 00:13:24,006
It is confusing for girls out there.
212
00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:25,882
I'm glad I got married so young.
213
00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:27,926
I was still a "virgin."
214
00:13:30,512 --> 00:13:33,724
- What do you mean?
- You know, a "virgin."
215
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:36,351
What's this?
216
00:13:40,397 --> 00:13:44,443
I was a good Catholic girl,
so I wanted to save myself for marriage.
217
00:13:44,526 --> 00:13:48,197
But there are other ways to do it
that are creative but keep you pure.
218
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,366
"Technically" pure.
219
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,919
I guess we'll all spend
the rest of the day
220
00:14:02,002 --> 00:14:04,630
thinking of ways to
look Lori in the eye.
221
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,310
I totally forgot about
that Catholic-girl workaround.
222
00:14:09,393 --> 00:14:11,178
No, I know a bunch of
stupid girls who used...
223
00:14:11,262 --> 00:14:12,679
No, that's not what I...
224
00:14:12,763 --> 00:14:13,972
Ay, whatever. You got snowed.
225
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,643
I need to talk to Elena.
226
00:14:18,977 --> 00:14:22,564
- Do you want me to talk to Josh?
- I don't even want you to talk to me.
227
00:14:24,316 --> 00:14:26,860
- Big plans this weekend?
- Don't look at me.
228
00:14:31,115 --> 00:14:33,117
Where's Elena?
I really need to talk to her.
229
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,368
You should.
230
00:14:34,451 --> 00:14:35,911
She is a porno.
231
00:14:37,996 --> 00:14:40,124
I think I know what you're saying,
and it's not fair
232
00:14:40,207 --> 00:14:42,251
'cause when you thought it was Alex,
you said it was healthy.
233
00:14:42,334 --> 00:14:45,045
Well, boys are supposed to want the sex.
234
00:14:45,129 --> 00:14:48,132
Girls are supposed to pretend
that they don't want the sex.
235
00:14:48,215 --> 00:14:50,091
Read your Bible, for God's sake.
236
00:14:51,009 --> 00:14:52,511
Watch the hair, Abuelita.
237
00:14:53,011 --> 00:14:56,140
- Is Elena in her room?
- No, she's at Josh's.
238
00:14:56,223 --> 00:14:58,600
The family is having a movie night,
remember?
239
00:14:58,684 --> 00:15:00,311
- That's tonight?
- Yeah.
240
00:15:00,394 --> 00:15:03,564
Jeez, she's been at Josh's, like,
every day this week.
241
00:15:04,273 --> 00:15:06,525
Great. Straight to voicemail.
242
00:15:08,026 --> 00:15:11,613
Elena, I really need to talk to you,
so call me as soon as you get this.
243
00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:13,907
No, better yet,
just come home right away.
244
00:15:13,990 --> 00:15:15,201
No, scratch that.
245
00:15:15,284 --> 00:15:18,995
Come home right away, but still call me
so I know you're coming home.
246
00:15:20,873 --> 00:15:21,957
This is your mother.
247
00:15:25,961 --> 00:15:26,962
It's fine.
248
00:15:27,045 --> 00:15:29,256
I shouldn't worry
'cause she's with his family, right?
249
00:15:29,339 --> 00:15:30,399
Yeah!
250
00:15:31,717 --> 00:15:33,051
What?
251
00:15:34,052 --> 00:15:35,128
What is it?
252
00:15:35,929 --> 00:15:39,516
Well, it's just that some kids at school
said Josh is having a party...
253
00:15:39,975 --> 00:15:41,643
because his parents are out of town.
254
00:15:41,727 --> 00:15:44,563
No parents? That's terrible!
255
00:15:44,646 --> 00:15:46,690
I know! Who's gonna order the pizza?
256
00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:48,942
Who's gonna clean up the mess?
257
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:55,365
Mami, parties are not good.
There's alcohol.
258
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:56,958
Then people pair off.
259
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,327
And the next thing you know,
260
00:15:58,410 --> 00:16:01,747
Carlos Piñero's trying to unhook your
bra on your best friend's parents' bed.
261
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:02,906
But...
262
00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:06,293
not me, Mami, I never did that.
263
00:16:07,169 --> 00:16:08,587
I'm happy to just leave.
264
00:16:09,087 --> 00:16:10,297
Oye.
265
00:16:11,298 --> 00:16:12,633
No seas ridícula.
266
00:16:12,716 --> 00:16:16,470
Elena would never give away
her purity at some party.
267
00:16:17,596 --> 00:16:19,014
Ah, yes.
268
00:16:19,097 --> 00:16:22,268
- Yes, you're right.
- Of course. She's a good Catholic girl.
269
00:16:22,351 --> 00:16:23,519
Oh, my God!
270
00:16:48,126 --> 00:16:49,295
What is this?
271
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,758
There's no party.
There's just three of them.
272
00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:57,052
Three.
273
00:16:58,262 --> 00:17:00,096
As you can see, ladies,
274
00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:02,349
I've got more than enough
for the both of you.
275
00:17:08,647 --> 00:17:10,691
Ooh, relax, I got it.
276
00:17:10,774 --> 00:17:11,858
Elena!
277
00:17:11,942 --> 00:17:15,737
- Mom, what are you doing?
- What are you doing?
278
00:17:15,821 --> 00:17:18,615
I'm watching a movie
with Josh and his little sister!
279
00:17:18,699 --> 00:17:19,774
You scared me.
280
00:17:21,535 --> 00:17:22,703
What's going on?
281
00:17:22,786 --> 00:17:25,789
Hey, Barb, Dave.
282
00:17:25,872 --> 00:17:29,042
Ooh. Love these hardwood floors.
283
00:17:30,502 --> 00:17:31,753
What is this, bamboo?
284
00:17:33,339 --> 00:17:35,474
- Penelope, would you like to come in?
- Yeah, sure.
285
00:17:35,557 --> 00:17:37,175
You know, let me just unwedge myself
286
00:17:37,258 --> 00:17:39,386
from your doggy door
before I embarrass myself.
287
00:17:40,136 --> 00:17:42,848
Just hold still.
288
00:17:50,564 --> 00:17:53,066
Oh. It's good to see you two.
289
00:17:53,149 --> 00:17:54,776
All here. Not out of town.
290
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:57,613
- Why would we be out of town?
- No reason.
291
00:17:57,696 --> 00:18:01,074
Just 12-year-olds who don't know
anything, they say a lot of stuff.
292
00:18:01,825 --> 00:18:04,170
We must not have heard you knock.
We were watching a movie.
293
00:18:04,253 --> 00:18:05,621
- Would you like to join us?
- No.
294
00:18:05,704 --> 00:18:07,748
No. Thank you.
295
00:18:07,831 --> 00:18:10,501
No, I just came by to bring Elena...
296
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,128
my jacket.
297
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,008
There you go.
298
00:18:19,593 --> 00:18:20,719
Okay.
299
00:18:21,928 --> 00:18:24,390
I'll just put it on over this jacket.
300
00:18:25,849 --> 00:18:26,975
Okay.
301
00:18:29,895 --> 00:18:31,605
I'm gonna go now.
302
00:18:31,688 --> 00:18:32,814
Yeah.
303
00:18:33,607 --> 00:18:36,777
Oh, just so you know,
some maniac drove over your mailbox.
304
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:38,820
But they left 50 bucks,
so that seems fair, right?
305
00:18:42,115 --> 00:18:45,285
Guess what? Josh's parents? Home.
306
00:18:45,369 --> 00:18:48,839
You got fed some bad intel.
You gotta up your gossip game, son.
307
00:18:50,007 --> 00:18:51,125
Oh... yeah.
308
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:55,295
It turns out it was Josh B's parents
who were out of town, not Josh F's.
309
00:18:56,129 --> 00:18:57,756
You didn't think to text me that?
310
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,885
You know I always have my phone on me.
311
00:19:01,968 --> 00:19:03,887
Unplug, Penelope.
312
00:19:08,475 --> 00:19:09,851
Hey.
313
00:19:11,728 --> 00:19:13,647
- You're back early.
- Yeah.
314
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,190
I left because I was embarrassed.
315
00:19:15,273 --> 00:19:17,734
Everyone was talking about my mom,
who ran over the mailbox
316
00:19:17,818 --> 00:19:19,027
to bring me a jacket.
317
00:19:19,528 --> 00:19:22,280
Sounds like you got a pretty cool mom.
318
00:19:24,449 --> 00:19:27,035
Look, I am sorry. But
we do need to talk.
319
00:19:27,118 --> 00:19:28,244
Oh, about what?
320
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,998
Here. You're gonna want this.
321
00:19:37,128 --> 00:19:40,131
Why does
everybody think I'm cold?
322
00:19:45,762 --> 00:19:47,556
What is going on?
323
00:19:47,639 --> 00:19:49,099
Why are you acting like a freak?
324
00:19:49,182 --> 00:19:52,936
Okay, Elena, I'm just gonna say it. I
know you've been looking at pornography.
325
00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:54,396
Oh, my God.
326
00:19:55,439 --> 00:19:57,441
I found it on your brother's computer.
327
00:19:58,024 --> 00:20:01,945
Thanks for an unnecessary yet super-fun
conversation with Alex, by the way.
328
00:20:03,697 --> 00:20:05,031
Sorry.
329
00:20:05,115 --> 00:20:07,993
I would've used my computer,
but I didn't want it to get a virus.
330
00:20:11,037 --> 00:20:13,382
Elena, that is...
pretty smart, actually.
331
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,167
But I still would've found out
332
00:20:16,251 --> 00:20:18,920
because I have that tracking software
on all your computers.
333
00:20:19,004 --> 00:20:21,047
- No, you don't.
- No, I don't!
334
00:20:24,468 --> 00:20:25,469
Okay.
335
00:20:29,723 --> 00:20:30,891
Obviously...
336
00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:34,019
you're curious about stuff.
337
00:20:35,395 --> 00:20:37,439
And that is completely normal.
338
00:20:40,358 --> 00:20:42,736
It just makes me wonder...
339
00:20:43,654 --> 00:20:45,321
if you're thinking about...
340
00:20:46,406 --> 00:20:48,659
or possibly having, you know...
341
00:20:50,202 --> 00:20:51,236
sex.
342
00:20:55,832 --> 00:20:57,792
I don't want you to
feel like it's wrong.
343
00:21:00,045 --> 00:21:02,172
It's actually
a really beautiful experience
344
00:21:02,255 --> 00:21:04,841
that you're too young
to be having right now.
345
00:21:08,637 --> 00:21:09,654
But if you are...
346
00:21:10,471 --> 00:21:12,182
I want you to be safe...
347
00:21:14,810 --> 00:21:16,520
I want you to be doing it
for the right reasons,
348
00:21:16,603 --> 00:21:18,396
and not because you're
feeling pressured.
349
00:21:20,566 --> 00:21:23,151
And I... I want you to come to me.
350
00:21:24,528 --> 00:21:26,196
Because I didn't have that
with your abuelita,
351
00:21:26,279 --> 00:21:27,948
and I want things to be different.
352
00:21:28,031 --> 00:21:30,491
- Mom, I'm not having sex.
- Oh, thank God!
353
00:21:32,994 --> 00:21:34,495
You're way too young.
354
00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:36,331
And guys are really bad at it
in the beginning.
355
00:21:36,414 --> 00:21:37,583
Not that I want you to be
with an older guy.
356
00:21:37,666 --> 00:21:39,543
- Mom, stop talking!
- Oh. I'm gonna stop talking.
357
00:21:39,626 --> 00:21:41,211
I'm gonna stop talking.
358
00:21:44,756 --> 00:21:47,217
I felt like I was gonna black out there
for a second.
359
00:21:49,595 --> 00:21:51,012
Okay.
360
00:21:51,096 --> 00:21:52,556
I just, like... Oh, my...
361
00:21:52,639 --> 00:21:54,099
Just everything is happening so fast.
362
00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:56,268
You know, Josh is your first boyfriend.
363
00:21:57,018 --> 00:21:58,061
I know, and...
364
00:21:58,562 --> 00:22:00,564
I really like him,
365
00:22:00,647 --> 00:22:03,567
but... I don't think I
like him like that.
366
00:22:03,650 --> 00:22:04,860
Hey...
367
00:22:06,861 --> 00:22:07,896
that's okay.
368
00:22:08,405 --> 00:22:10,490
In fact, that's great. You know, you...
369
00:22:10,824 --> 00:22:13,910
you got your whole life ahead of you.
There'll be plenty of other boys.
370
00:22:15,370 --> 00:22:17,789
I don't think
I'll ever fall in love with a boy.
371
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,667
Aw.
372
00:22:22,168 --> 00:22:23,586
Yeah, I get it.
373
00:22:24,545 --> 00:22:25,964
I've been there.
374
00:22:26,047 --> 00:22:29,342
But I promise you, when you meet
the right one, you'll know.
375
00:22:30,301 --> 00:22:32,178
What if that's not what I want?
376
00:22:33,596 --> 00:22:35,306
Oh, I know.
377
00:22:36,725 --> 00:22:40,561
Marriage is a patriarchal tool
invented to enslave women.
378
00:22:40,646 --> 00:22:42,313
All men are adult babies. I know.
379
00:22:42,397 --> 00:22:45,191
That's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about love.
380
00:22:45,483 --> 00:22:47,110
And I'm so happy
that we're talking like this.
381
00:22:47,193 --> 00:22:48,945
Because you can tell me anything.
382
00:22:53,241 --> 00:22:54,660
Okay.
383
00:22:56,703 --> 00:22:58,330
Then what I'm trying to say...
384
00:22:58,913 --> 00:23:00,123
is that...
385
00:23:01,541 --> 00:23:03,376
when I think about love...
386
00:23:04,670 --> 00:23:06,004
I see myself...
387
00:23:07,964 --> 00:23:09,382
someday...
388
00:23:11,051 --> 00:23:12,302
loving a woman.
389
00:23:17,098 --> 00:23:18,308
Oh.
390
00:23:22,187 --> 00:23:25,523
Why do I keep giving
everyone the wrong sex talk?
391
00:23:36,868 --> 00:23:38,411
When did you...
392
00:23:40,413 --> 00:23:41,748
No. You know, you talk.
393
00:23:43,541 --> 00:23:46,669
It was just, I realized
that if I was going to be into a boy,
394
00:23:46,753 --> 00:23:47,754
it would be Josh.
395
00:23:47,838 --> 00:23:52,008
I mean, he's cute, and he's sweet,
and he's such a gentleman, but...
396
00:23:52,884 --> 00:23:55,678
I feel more when I look at
a picture of Kristen Stewart
397
00:23:55,762 --> 00:23:57,097
than I do when I kiss him.
398
00:23:57,764 --> 00:24:01,142
No wonder you saw
those Twilight movies so many times.
399
00:24:02,477 --> 00:24:04,813
Definitely wasn't for the
quality storytelling.
400
00:24:08,524 --> 00:24:11,069
Guess this also explains
the threesome movie.
401
00:24:11,152 --> 00:24:14,656
- Can we not talk about that ever again?
- Nothing would make me happier.
402
00:24:18,743 --> 00:24:19,819
So...
403
00:24:21,704 --> 00:24:23,039
Are you okay with this?
404
00:24:26,584 --> 00:24:27,711
Of course I am.
405
00:24:33,425 --> 00:24:36,094
I love you. And I want you to be happy.
406
00:24:39,347 --> 00:24:42,058
And you should never be afraid
to tell me anything about yourself.
407
00:24:44,102 --> 00:24:45,228
Thank you.
408
00:24:45,311 --> 00:24:47,480
I've been wanting to tell you
for a really long time.
409
00:24:48,398 --> 00:24:49,690
I'm glad you did.
410
00:24:51,234 --> 00:24:53,444
Thank God.
411
00:24:53,528 --> 00:24:56,614
It feels like this huge weight
has been lifted off my shoulders.
412
00:24:56,697 --> 00:24:59,034
Like... the hardest part is over.
413
00:25:01,577 --> 00:25:03,371
Hello, you two!
414
00:25:09,627 --> 00:25:11,546
Maybe not the hardest part.
415
00:25:14,726 --> 00:25:16,726
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