All language subtitles for Malcolm s03e09 Reeses Job.eng

Where did you come from, flubber?

"Hello, Hal."

(MAKES DRUM-BEAT NOISES)

(MAKES WHOOPING NOISES)

Once again I have to be embarrassed
for the both of us. Yep!

Go straight to your job after
school. I don't want you to be late on your first day. And no excuses!

I don't wanna hear, "A lion escaped
from the zoo", or, "The bus driver went insane and refused to stop."

Francis's friend gave Reese a job at
the Circus Burger. It's perfect.

Reese gets to be bossed around all
day by the only guy on the planet that's dumber than he is.

This job is stupid!
You do get to wear a paper hat.

You wanna drive,
you have to pay your own insurance!

Everyone else is insured! Why me?
They've got it covered.

Son, it's not as simple as that.
You see...

Good morning, everybody!
Say good morning, Charlie.

Show everyone how alive you are.

My parents made a deal with Dewey.

If he keeps his goldfish alive
for two months, he gets a dog.

Am I doing a good job?
You sure are.

(How is that fish still alive?)
(I don't know! He never feeds it. He leaves it in the sun for hours.)

Last week there was banana in it!
I do not want a dog!

If the fish lives,
there's nothing we can do! Hal, I expect you to take care of this.

What are you suggesting?
I'm not suggesting anything.

I just want it taken care of.

Class, today we begin a new round
of independent study projects.

Hydrostatic equilibrium?

My God, I'm still on
integral quantisation.

My stepdad's right. I'm useless!

The cold, hard fact of life is some
are more advanced than others.

Some even think they're more
advanced than me. I never said that.

Yet you assume I'm talking about
you. You're looking right at me!

You're convinced, by virtue
of you being in this class,

your intellects tower above
the plebeians wasting oxygen in the rest of the school.

But, to some, you are nothing more

than howling primates.

I'm excited to announce we're
welcoming to our class a new student.

A young man of
unparalleled intellect.

As near as we can measure,
his IQ is over 280.

(ALL GASP)
Those tests are culturally biased!

Think what you will. Your petty
fears no longer concern me.

I finally have the mental clay
worthy of my sculpting.

Barton is a white-hot comet
of brilliance,

blazing through our dark corner
of ignorance.

A mind of unfathomable reach and
enormous power. Can I come in now?

I told you to wait till you heard,
"A new era for man."

But there's a bee out there.

So, assistant manager. How?
INS raid cleaned us out.

So, from 12 to 5,
Monday, Wednesday, Thursday,

this is my domain.

I'm proof you don't need
to graduate high school.

That's just propaganda from those
money-grabbing diploma companies.

Sean, Doug, this is Reese.
Hey. Hey.

OK. Press cow for burger,
potato for fries.

I'm not sure what this is. Does that
look like a pig or a dog to you?

Wouldn't it be easier to put words
on the keys? Ah, a man of letters.

A word to the wise. I wouldn't
throw that in anyone's face.

Once you get your total
put the money in the drawer,

except pocket transactions.
What's that?

A morale builder. Once in
a while take 5 or 10 bucks.

Don't ring it up,
put it in your pocket.

You don't have a problem with that,
do you?

Oh, no. That's cool.

You've entered the working world.

A world of adult responsibility.

I have her locker key.

If you wanna smell her jacket later,
let me know.

They found the last piece
of that guy. Oh, man!

If we're sharing toilet paper,

can we keep it on the spindle?

If we're bringing this kinda stuff
up, my fiancee's coming Thursday.

Fiancee? What are you taking about?
I'm engaged.

I'm tired of playing the field.

You don't know any women.
That occurred to me, too,

so I ordered one from Russia.
A mail-order bride? That exists?

In the more irradiated
parts of Russia there are lots of marriage-minded women.

That's my darling Svetlana.

Wait a second. Yep.

Svetlana.

How come you're driving us
to school?

That's what moms do sometimes.

(MOUTHS)

Argh!

OK, you know your Tolstoy
and your Eliot...

Let's see how you do with the Bard.

"Every true man's apparel
fits your thief."

Measure For Measure, Act 4, Scene 2.
Could you hand me my green crayon?

Wow, he's right again. OK, let's try
Chaucer's The Shipman's Tale.

Should I start with the prologue?
Please. How about line 203?

"When your husband has gone off
to Flanders, I shall deliver you

from fear of slanders, and on the
word he caught her by the flanks

and clasped her closely,
giving her a riot of kisses,

saying softly, 'Keep things quiet'"
What are you doing? (ALL GASP)

Chaucer? I cannot believe
you're polluting his mind

with such pop culture drivel!

I apologise for them, Barton.

I'll do everything I can to minimise
these annoying distractions

so you can concentrate
on the accelerated programme

I've laid out for you. Together
we are gonna astonish the world.

Would you like a pixie stick?
Thank you.

Having problems, Malcolm?

No, no, not you(!)

This stupid hydrostatic
equilibrium doesn't make sense!

It is hard. But don't despair.
I'm here for you.

I'll make sure you get the help
you deserve.

To estimate the pressure
at the sun's centre,

assume a constant density
of 1.41 grams per cubic cm.

Too fast? Herkabe made you my tutor
to humiliate me.

I thought it was to humiliate me.
Why is this so hard?! Don't give up.

Remember The Little Engine
That Could? You're not listening!

I get everything! There is nothing
I haven't been able to master.

I took algebra in 6th grade! I
rebuilt dad's transmission when I was five! I read before I could walk!

I remember my own birth.
What?!

D'you know your heart stops
during your mother's contractions?

You seriously remember that?
Worst was the diaper changing.

That was the most degrading week
of my life.

So, what's it like in there?
Whaddya mean?

Well, your brain?

For me it's like,
when I'm thinking really hard,

my brain starts making
all these connections.

Those connections
make other connections,

then it feels like a bomb's
going off. Is yours like that?

More like a beehive. And every
bee has a brain like yours.

OK, ready!

That is so cool! I wish you had a
gun so we can really test this out.

Excuse me. Can I get some help here?
Hi, Greg.

I overheard your mom talking
and it's true. You've got a job.

I applied here once. Didn't get it.

It's all politics. I guess. Whaddya
want? You to listen carefully.

My blood sugar's low so I don't
wanna burn up calories repeating myself.

I want the jumbo clown burger
with fries, no pickles,

a slice of onion, centre cut,
and extra tomatoes.

Do the patie well on one side,
medium on the other.

Make sure they open a fresh package
for my bun. If it's stale I bale.

Seriously.

That comes to $5.45 and you get free
refills on the soda.

Heard that one before. Turns out
it's just for today.

What a sack!

That's a pocket transaction
if I ever saw one.

Oh, yeah. Right.

Artie, you throw one helluva
bachelor party.

I'm just sorry the nearest
stripper's 300 miles away.

Hey, how's she doin' anyway?

She took her top off!
(ALL CHEER)

Listen up! I'd like to say
a few words about my mate Pete,

on account of his upcoming nuptials.

Many's the time,
when I've been feeling low,

I always knew I could turn to Pete.

He'd be lying on his bunk,
trimming his beard with a lighter,

and I'd think,
"Hell, I'm better than that."

To Pete and his lucky lady!
(ALL CHEER)

What's with you? What are
we celebrating? It seems wrong.

If he wants to marry a stranger,
that's his business. Is anyone thinking about this woman?

I'm trying to keep a stripper
in my head. Think about it.

She's gonna spend her life here
with Pete as her husband.

What poor creature
would go through with this?

Maybe her life's pretty awful.
Worse than this? Does she live in a slaughterhouse?

Get dragged to work by horses? She's
no idea what she's getting into.

You're exaggerating.
It might work out fine.

(ALL CHEER)

How's business? Where were you?
I was meant to be home for dinner but only you can cash me out.

Stay on my good side.
One day somebody'll have to clean the bathrooms.

Whoa, this is uncool.
You can't take this much money.

Whaddya mean?
Your till is over $400 short. Look.

The point is to take
five or ten bucks. That's it.

Put the 400 back.
I didn't take it. Honest.

It's your register. Did he give
his register key to anyone? No.

I didn't take any.

I never even did a pocket
transaction. I saw you yesterday.

I wanted it to look like that. When
you weren't looking I put it back.

You didn't see it
cos I was being... sneaky. Nice.

Way to screw it up for us.
I didn't take it!

I'm not coverin' for you. When
the owner checks the books tomorrow,

that money better be here
or you're going down.

The change from apparent to absolute
magnitude. The formula is...

..A over B times K over D.
That's if K is...

How do they expect you to learn
formulas? Use a mnemonic device,

like Enephru, Babashar, Kalar,
Dastrer.

Abalonian kings, Third Dynasty.

Stop complaining.
I have homework, too.

Ah, it's a butterfly.

You gotta help me. What's goin' on?
It's horrible.

$400 is missing from my register
and they think I took it.

Well, did you?
No, of course not!

I'm Barton. Who's this dork?
My tutor. You're kiddin'!

When I need you to be a genius
I find you've been faking it.

Calm down. How did this happen?
I dunno. My register didn't total.

Who was there?
Everyone. Me, Sean, Greta, Richie.

Richie? Why didn't you say so?
Whaddya mean?

He's setting you up. How do you know?
Because it's Richie! C'mon!

Wanna learn about the real world?
Not really.

Too bad. You're coming.

Dewey, cover for us. Make sure it
sounds like we're all still here.

Got it.

Ow! Stop it!

You shut up!

Stupid creeps! Ow!

(Did you get it?)
Yes, I got it.

Pet store owner said it was already
dead, but I suspect the worst.

Switch them tonight
when Dewey's sleeping.

It seems so sneaky and underhanded.

What kind of example are we setting
for the boys? Stop worrying.

The boys are fine.

Did you get the money? Yeah, you'd
like another 400, wouldn't you?

What are you talking about? Wow!
An entire colony of parasitica.

Get your own pizza, Dewey.
His name's not Dewey.

How come you had me call him that
all these years?

We know you took the money
and you're pinning it on Reese.

After everything my brother's done
for you! All the alibis, handouts,

all the times he's helped you
fake your death! Whoa!

I wasn't there today. I only came in
to cash out. You were there.

I had a break at 4:30. You coulda
snuck in then and taken it. Yeah...

You wanna play innocent? Fine.
We'll just let the police decide.

Whoa! What makes you think
they'll take your side?

Maybe cos you've been arrested
10 times for petty theft.

Excuse me,
one of those was for arson.

You're making a big mistake.
No, I'm not! Yes, you are!

No, I'm not!
Yes, you are.

He didn't do it.
This citation says

he was stopped at 4:20
at 18th and Wilson

for urinating from a moving vehicle.

So? The Circus Burger is on Walnut,
which is at least 25 miles away.

He couldn't have been there
during Reese's break.

If the traffic was light.. And if
a '78 Bonneville could go 300 mph.

Otherwise, it's impossible.
Hey, way to go, Dewey!

Let me see that.
Is he right? Yes.

He's always right.

Sorry, Richie.
Come on, Reese, let's go.

But I swear to God,
I didn't take the money!

We still have a few hours.
Maybe we can figure...

I got the DVD player
but we need to steal another 600 if you want the surround...

..sound.

You may wanna hang on to that
receipt. I can't believe you lied!

Let's call the cops!
Maybe we could figure out a deal?

Whatever you want, it's yours.

We get to use your place
for a party any time we want.

Free burgers for life. I get to make
out with your girlfriend. Forget it!

Alright, the bean bag chair.

Wow! Pete, is that really you?
No, it's a reflection.

You can give these to Svetlana.

Eric and Artie should be back
any minute with your bride.

I gotta be honest, I'm nervous.

You are about to marry a stranger.

Have you really thought about
what you're doing?

I've been thinking about
settling down for a long time.

But you don't know anything about
her. What if she thinks...

What if she doesn't like you?

I'd be sad but I'd reassure her
I'd support her anyway,

cos I made that commitment.

I'd spend the rest of my life
being sweet to her.

And also changing her mind.

Well, good luck, Pete. Thanks.

Svetlana's here, and she is
gorgeous! (BOTH LAUGH)

I must've misread the catalogue.

Just look how light on her feet
she is.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey, Pete...
Just get that thing outta here!

I'll take care of it. I got it.
Why you? Cos I signed for it!

(CAR HORN) Our ride. How nice of
Richie to drive you to school.

His way of saying thanks
for a job well done.

Good morning, everybody.
Now, don't be disappointed...

Say good morning, Charlie.
Show everyone how alive you are!

Aren't I doing a good job?

Yeah, yeah. Great.

That little monster!

He's been buying his own fish
and switchin' 'em!

God only knows how many he's gone
through. He'll pay for this!

How? If we bust him,
he'll know we've been cheating.

We are so proud of the way
you've taken care of that fish.

Yes. You certainly proved to us
you can be trusted.

It's so nice to have a boy
who's so conscientious, responsible

and honest and who finds a way
to do the right thing.

Before we go any further,
is there anything you wanna tell me?

I want a beagle! You're not
gonna get it, you little sneak!

You've been switching fish, cos I
put a dead fish in there last night!

That's cheating! You're cheaters!

(SOBS)

It's not exactly textbook but at
least we're not getting a dog.

I cleaned out my cubby. You're sure
I can't talk you into staying?

Mom says I need
a healthier environment.

She thinks it's creepy you're using
me for your own self-grandiosement. That's not what you need.

You'll never connect normally
with another human being.

People will recognise your
brilliance and loathe you for it.

The best you can hope for
is uncomprehending fear

which I can channel into great
things.

Please? Can I go now?

Sure. Go.

You, my ex-wife,

all of my therapists,
you're all the same.

Bye, guys.
Bye, Barton.

Good luck at NASA. Send us
a letter when you get declassified.

Mr Herkabe, we know this is hard
for you, so...

It's his dad.
We photo-chopped your head in.

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