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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,603 --> 00:00:09,246 Britain and America, 2 00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:12,438 the two greatest goddamn nations in the world. 3 00:00:12,855 --> 00:00:14,979 Anyone who disagrees with me, 4 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,583 is a dirty shitter. 5 00:00:17,136 --> 00:00:18,807 We share so much. 6 00:00:19,033 --> 00:00:20,180 A language, 7 00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:23,075 a moral high ground, and a love of war. 8 00:00:23,464 --> 00:00:26,365 But what about the people of Britain and America? 9 00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:30,266 The ordinary folk who make these lands so great. 10 00:00:30,487 --> 00:00:33,360 Who are they? What do they? How do you do? 11 00:00:33,637 --> 00:00:36,040 Let's take a looking at them now, 12 00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:39,070 in Little Britain USA. 13 00:00:42,397 --> 00:00:45,335 One thing both of our countries can be proud of 14 00:00:45,608 --> 00:00:49,148 is that we have the finest juvenile delinquents in the world. 15 00:00:49,503 --> 00:00:53,127 At this boot camp in Utah, some new inmates have arrived. 16 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,586 Everybody out! 17 00:00:55,958 --> 00:00:57,605 On the double! 18 00:00:57,859 --> 00:00:59,053 Make a line. 19 00:00:59,173 --> 00:01:02,098 Move it ladies, move it ladies, move! 20 00:01:02,643 --> 00:01:03,741 Let's go! 21 00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:10,573 Welcome to Wilderness Lodge. 22 00:01:11,111 --> 00:01:13,410 You are here for a reason. 23 00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:16,300 Arson, drug-abuse, 24 00:01:17,089 --> 00:01:19,765 violence, it's going to be tough. 25 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,712 But if you stick to the rules, you'll survive. 26 00:01:25,196 --> 00:01:27,046 OK. Roll call. 27 00:01:28,058 --> 00:01:29,175 Leitasha Dean? 28 00:01:30,295 --> 00:01:31,678 Haley Evans? 29 00:01:32,714 --> 00:01:33,763 Natalie Kirk. 30 00:01:34,911 --> 00:01:36,099 Vicky Pollard. 31 00:01:36,983 --> 00:01:40,895 Yeah. But, no, but yeah, but no, but yeah. 32 00:01:41,055 --> 00:01:44,197 It's me but I shouldn't actually be here{\or something or nothing} because let me tell you the whole thing. 33 00:01:44,329 --> 00:01:46,697 Because this whole thing happened I didn't know nothing about. 34 00:01:46,817 --> 00:01:49,479 A whole load of us went to Disney World, only we all got chucked out 35 00:01:49,599 --> 00:01:50,976 for beating up the Aristocats, 36 00:01:51,096 --> 00:01:53,372 and Hanna Garvey said we should all go back in after midnight 37 00:01:53,492 --> 00:01:55,785 and burn down the Peter Pan ride, as a joke. 38 00:01:55,945 --> 00:01:57,704 So we {\all}went back. But I never done nothing, 39 00:01:57,864 --> 00:02:00,012 {\All I did was like}only pour the petrol, light the match. That's it. 40 00:02:00,132 --> 00:02:02,122 All of a sudden, I {\well}started getting blamed for it. 41 00:02:02,242 --> 00:02:04,848 It wasn't just me, but if Kelly Rayman says it was, don't listen to her, 42 00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:06,838 cos everyone knows she dyes her moustache. 43 00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:11,885 I have no idea what you just said. What the hell are you talking about? 44 00:02:12,045 --> 00:02:15,305 My God you're so racist. I just told you the whole thing, so shut up! 45 00:02:15,444 --> 00:02:17,134 Have you been talking to Shelley Cayman? 46 00:02:17,258 --> 00:02:19,642 Cos let me tell you about her{\Shelley Cayman} because she's well a mixer. 47 00:02:19,802 --> 00:02:22,680 She completely hates me because she really fancies Tony Tozer, 48 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,291 and she's really had it in for me ever since Tony fingered me 49 00:02:25,422 --> 00:02:28,433 round the back of the youth hostel. When she found out, she went {\totally}mental. 50 00:02:28,553 --> 00:02:30,557 Anyway, I was never even anywhere near that river, 51 00:02:30,677 --> 00:02:32,572 so how could I have pushed that woman in? 52 00:02:32,949 --> 00:02:35,492 OK, shut up now, you're giving me a headache. 53 00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:39,061 I never even said anything anyway. Cos this place is like, well gay. 54 00:02:39,181 --> 00:02:41,612 I said shut up! 55 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,903 And I have shut up. So shut up telling me to shut up. 56 00:02:44,344 --> 00:02:45,418 Shut up! 57 00:02:46,111 --> 00:02:47,717 Yeah, everyone, shut up. 58 00:02:48,387 --> 00:02:51,341 I said shut up! 59 00:02:52,329 --> 00:02:53,426 Shut up. 60 00:02:54,836 --> 00:02:56,075 That was an echo. 61 00:02:57,262 --> 00:03:00,529 OK, everybody inside on the double. 62 00:03:00,649 --> 00:03:03,723 You will be given your bunk assignments. Move! 63 00:03:04,897 --> 00:03:07,877 Can I just say something, {\actually,}cos I haven't {\actually}had the chance to say anything yet? 64 00:03:07,997 --> 00:03:10,192 I'm {\well}not sharing. Can I just say that? I'm being serious. 65 00:03:10,312 --> 00:03:13,013 You know that fat girl with the manky foot? She was eyeing me up on coach. 66 00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:15,390 I reckon she's a lezzer. I don't want to be getting changed 67 00:03:15,512 --> 00:03:17,283 and have her staring at my Dawson's Creek. 68 00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:19,744 Run! 69 00:03:20,457 --> 00:03:21,565 Fine. 70 00:03:25,118 --> 00:03:29,501 Britain has had rude and unhelpful receptionists for thousands of years. 71 00:03:29,936 --> 00:03:32,894 Carol Beer exemplifies this fine tradition. 72 00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:34,584 Hello. 73 00:03:42,543 --> 00:03:44,344 Welcome to St John's Hospital. 74 00:03:44,464 --> 00:03:47,522 My name is Carol. How can I help you? 75 00:03:48,555 --> 00:03:50,583 We need to go straight to the maternity ward. 76 00:03:50,715 --> 00:03:52,226 Right. Admissions. 77 00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:55,238 - Name? - Helen Fisher. 78 00:03:55,616 --> 00:03:56,948 You don't look like a Helen. 79 00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,619 - No. I'm Helen Fisher. - I'm Graham Fisher. 80 00:04:01,983 --> 00:04:03,580 Are your brother and sister? 81 00:04:04,387 --> 00:04:06,499 No, we're married. My wife's about to have a baby. 82 00:04:09,338 --> 00:04:10,740 Computer says, "no". 83 00:04:12,515 --> 00:04:13,332 What? 84 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,175 Baby's not due yet. I've got you down for next week. 85 00:04:17,379 --> 00:04:20,430 Look, her water broke. She's having it now. This is urgent. 86 00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:23,790 Right. Better put you under urgent admissions. 87 00:04:28,804 --> 00:04:30,997 Just waiting for the page to come up. 88 00:04:41,525 --> 00:04:43,455 The computer's a bit slow today. 89 00:04:45,734 --> 00:04:46,748 Right. Name? 90 00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:49,334 Helen Fisher. 91 00:04:52,271 --> 00:04:53,838 How did you hear about the hospital? 92 00:04:55,823 --> 00:04:57,842 It's just our nearest hospital. 93 00:04:59,776 --> 00:05:02,584 How satisfied are you with the cleanliness of the hospital? 94 00:05:03,114 --> 00:05:05,997 - It's fine, it's fine! - On a scale of one to 10? 95 00:05:06,448 --> 00:05:10,647 One being extremely dissatisfied to 10 being almost too satisfied. 96 00:05:11,453 --> 00:05:13,378 Look! My wife is about to give birth. 97 00:05:13,504 --> 00:05:16,170 - Can you just call the doctor, please? - It's Dr. Seymour. 98 00:05:17,569 --> 00:05:18,947 Computer says, "no". 99 00:05:19,748 --> 00:05:20,573 Why? 100 00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:22,797 We've got more than one Dr. Seymour. 101 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,411 Do you mean the Dr Seymour in the maternity ward 102 00:05:25,581 --> 00:05:27,872 or the Dr Seymour in the artificial limb unit? 103 00:05:29,064 --> 00:05:30,667 Well, what do you think? 104 00:05:37,856 --> 00:05:40,426 I think it's probably the one in the maternity ward. 105 00:05:42,026 --> 00:05:43,248 I think it's coming. 106 00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:46,353 This is unbelievable. Would you just call the doctor, please! 107 00:05:47,395 --> 00:05:48,672 Dr. Seymour. 108 00:05:50,555 --> 00:05:52,363 Dr. Seymour! 109 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,818 He's not responding. 110 00:05:55,518 --> 00:05:56,693 On the telephone! 111 00:06:04,609 --> 00:06:06,120 Hello, Ticket Master? 112 00:06:06,430 --> 00:06:09,144 I'd like to book a ticket for Phantom Of the Opera, please. 113 00:06:09,294 --> 00:06:10,415 Yes, I'll hold. 114 00:06:10,983 --> 00:06:12,792 I'll call him straight after. 115 00:06:18,289 --> 00:06:22,073 British people have always been fascinated by the Deep South. 116 00:06:22,268 --> 00:06:24,679 We marvel at how liberal your views 117 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:26,665 are there, compared to ours. 118 00:06:26,785 --> 00:06:29,742 Did you hear on the local news about the man downtown? 119 00:06:30,402 --> 00:06:33,106 They say he got attacked just for the colour of his skin. 120 00:06:33,707 --> 00:06:36,607 That's terrible. There's so much racism nowadays. 121 00:06:36,945 --> 00:06:39,152 There was plenty of racism in your day, Grandma. 122 00:06:40,597 --> 00:06:44,203 You may think that, but truth is, folk were pretty tolerant in them days. 123 00:06:44,801 --> 00:06:47,611 I remember in the town there was a black gentleman. 124 00:06:47,731 --> 00:06:49,796 He was a preacher, man of God. 125 00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:51,664 And he ran for Mayor. 126 00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:54,458 And some of the townfolk elders were up in arms, 127 00:06:54,578 --> 00:06:57,164 "We ain't gonna vote for no Negro," they said. 128 00:06:57,343 --> 00:07:00,573 But he was a popular man. And he became Mayor. 129 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,508 That's wonderful. 130 00:07:03,268 --> 00:07:05,794 Turns out, he was also a Jew, so we shot him. 131 00:07:09,577 --> 00:07:12,762 Divorce is now such a cultural phenomenon in America 132 00:07:12,882 --> 00:07:15,617 that Dolly Parton even wrote a famous song about it, 133 00:07:15,737 --> 00:07:18,432 called, of course, 9 To 5. 134 00:07:18,953 --> 00:07:20,962 So, you're leaving me for a woman? 135 00:07:23,304 --> 00:07:24,405 Now you're a lesbian. 136 00:07:25,220 --> 00:07:27,790 Yeah. Look, can we just get this over with? 137 00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:30,763 I think this is your Scrabble. 138 00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:35,553 I just didn't see the signs. I had no clue you were into women. 139 00:07:37,962 --> 00:07:39,943 Ellen DeGeneres Live In Lesbos? 140 00:07:40,923 --> 00:07:42,191 Yeah, it's mine. 141 00:07:43,334 --> 00:07:45,760 No Balls, Please. The autobiography of Billie-Jean King? 142 00:07:46,386 --> 00:07:47,686 - It's mine. - You sure? 143 00:07:47,879 --> 00:07:48,930 Yeah, I'm sure. 144 00:07:51,486 --> 00:07:53,226 Jodie Foster's Comfortable Shoes? 145 00:07:53,386 --> 00:07:55,436 Yeah. I asked for those for Christmas, remember? 146 00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:01,316 KD Lang action figure? 147 00:08:02,706 --> 00:08:04,565 Anne Heche, The Early Years. 148 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,115 Cagney And Lacey massage oil? 149 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,014 Yeah, these are all mine. Yeah. 150 00:08:13,138 --> 00:08:15,081 Set of The L-Word egg cups. 151 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,377 I never use those, but they are mine. Yeah. 152 00:08:19,994 --> 00:08:21,462 Virginia Woolf blow-up doll? 153 00:08:21,759 --> 00:08:25,049 That was a present from... from Gillian. 154 00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:28,179 So her name's Gillian? 155 00:08:32,188 --> 00:08:34,921 Oprah and Gayle's Big Book Of Dungarees? 156 00:08:35,493 --> 00:08:37,868 - They're not lesbians, are they? - No. No. 157 00:08:41,286 --> 00:08:45,179 Martina Navratilova's Guide To Drinking From The Furry Cup? 158 00:08:46,501 --> 00:08:49,215 Yeah, that's... mine, too. 159 00:08:50,567 --> 00:08:52,370 I guess... that's it. 160 00:08:52,862 --> 00:08:54,120 I suppose this is goodbye. 161 00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:57,696 Wait a sec, what's this? 162 00:08:57,973 --> 00:08:59,959 Sir Ian McKellen's Book Of Men's Bottoms? 163 00:09:00,927 --> 00:09:01,954 That's mine. 164 00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:09,385 80% of Americans are morbidly obese. 165 00:09:10,361 --> 00:09:12,859 The other 20% are just plain fat. 166 00:09:13,629 --> 00:09:16,539 That's why British weight-loss instructor, Marjorie Dawes, 167 00:09:16,659 --> 00:09:18,462 has come to dispense advice. 168 00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:19,896 Hello, fatties! 169 00:09:22,778 --> 00:09:24,275 My God, some of you are big. 170 00:09:26,187 --> 00:09:29,720 I'd like to start with a little game that I play with my British chubs, 171 00:09:29,858 --> 00:09:33,493 called, What's My Low-Fat Option? All right? 172 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:39,290 Now, we all like fattening foods, don't we? 173 00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:41,417 Yeah. That's why we are fat, isn't it? 174 00:09:41,995 --> 00:09:43,461 Well, you are, I'm not. 175 00:09:44,607 --> 00:09:46,262 So, what I'm going to do 176 00:09:46,382 --> 00:09:50,051 is I'm going to ask you each to tell me your favourite fattening food, 177 00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:54,096 and then I'm going to come up with a low-fat option for you. All right? 178 00:09:54,406 --> 00:09:56,140 Who wants to go first? 179 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,827 Pop your fat paws up. 180 00:09:59,014 --> 00:10:01,061 - Yes, my love. - Hi, I'm Jenny. 181 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,105 And I like ice cream. 182 00:10:03,265 --> 00:10:04,625 Mmm, ice cream. 183 00:10:04,745 --> 00:10:07,519 I think you love ice cream, don't you? 184 00:10:08,430 --> 00:10:11,050 Well, my advice to you, big Jenny, would be, 185 00:10:11,735 --> 00:10:14,533 instead of ice-cream, have an ice cube. 186 00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,936 They are delicious and very low in fat. 187 00:10:18,056 --> 00:10:19,870 So, I'm going to put that up on the board 188 00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:22,694 because that's your low-fat option. 189 00:10:23,343 --> 00:10:24,343 Ice... 190 00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:26,418 ... koob. 191 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,932 It's quite fun this, isn't it? It's a good laugh. 192 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:33,761 OK. So, who wants to go next? 193 00:10:34,941 --> 00:10:36,097 Yes, you, the fat man. 194 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:38,849 - It's Tony. - Fat Tony, yeah. 195 00:10:40,148 --> 00:10:42,561 I love hamburgers. I eat a hamburger every day. 196 00:10:42,721 --> 00:10:44,925 Every hour, by the looks of you! 197 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,568 Cos he's very fat, yeah. 198 00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:51,247 Now, what I would say to you, fat Tony, is, 199 00:10:51,387 --> 00:10:54,782 it's the things inside the burger that make them fattening. OK? 200 00:10:55,294 --> 00:10:57,210 So, cut out the mayonnaise, 201 00:10:57,456 --> 00:11:00,079 cut out the Swiss cheese, cut out the ketchup, 202 00:11:00,487 --> 00:11:03,165 cut out the beef, and just have the bun. OK? 203 00:11:03,666 --> 00:11:06,466 And that's your low-fat option. All right? 204 00:11:07,274 --> 00:11:08,279 Dry... 205 00:11:09,274 --> 00:11:10,274 bun. 206 00:11:11,002 --> 00:11:13,467 Delish! OK, so... 207 00:11:13,627 --> 00:11:16,310 let's have another fatty. Who have we got? 208 00:11:17,298 --> 00:11:19,478 Yes, my illegal friend, yes. 209 00:11:19,825 --> 00:11:21,892 What's your favourite fattening food? 210 00:11:23,008 --> 00:11:23,936 Chocolate. 211 00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:26,981 Sorry, I couldn't quite... 212 00:11:27,394 --> 00:11:28,399 Chocolate. 213 00:11:28,994 --> 00:11:30,617 - Do it again. - Chocolate. 214 00:11:31,096 --> 00:11:33,029 - Do it again? - Chocolate. 215 00:11:33,628 --> 00:11:35,114 - Do it again. - Chocolate. 216 00:11:35,471 --> 00:11:38,909 - Do it again. - Chocolate. 217 00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:41,620 - I don't know what she's saying. Again. - Chocolate. 218 00:11:41,912 --> 00:11:43,289 She doesn't know what she's... 219 00:11:43,449 --> 00:11:47,335 - Do It Again? - Chocolate. 220 00:11:47,495 --> 00:11:50,662 - Do it again. - Chocolate. 221 00:11:50,807 --> 00:11:52,715 - Chocolate. - Do it again. 222 00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:57,136 - Do it again. - Chocolate. 223 00:11:57,296 --> 00:11:59,096 Oh, choc...! No, do it again? 224 00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:00,869 Chocolate. 225 00:12:01,132 --> 00:12:02,979 Must be something they eat over there. 226 00:12:03,099 --> 00:12:05,269 I don't know. Beans, I would imagine. 227 00:12:06,468 --> 00:12:09,607 So, what is the low-fat alternative to beans? Anybody? 228 00:12:10,126 --> 00:12:11,233 A bean. 229 00:12:14,247 --> 00:12:15,252 Yes. 230 00:12:15,372 --> 00:12:17,365 And that is your... 231 00:12:17,525 --> 00:12:19,700 low-fat option. 232 00:12:22,321 --> 00:12:24,538 All right. So, we've got time for... 233 00:12:24,797 --> 00:12:26,746 for one more. Yes, the old one, yes. 234 00:12:26,982 --> 00:12:29,810 Well, actually, I just wanted to let everyone know 235 00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,129 my birthday's today, and if anyone would like 236 00:12:32,289 --> 00:12:36,509 to come to my place afterwards for drinks, you'd be more than welcome. 237 00:12:36,808 --> 00:12:39,595 Well, we remembered, and so I baked you this cake. 238 00:12:39,755 --> 00:12:41,390 Happy birthday! 239 00:12:43,939 --> 00:12:45,310 I'm confiscating this. 240 00:12:46,107 --> 00:12:49,030 - But it's her birthday, I made it. - I'm sorry, it's for her own good. 241 00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:51,732 If she took one bite, we'd have to roll her out of here. 242 00:12:52,595 --> 00:12:55,137 OK, that's about all we've time for, 243 00:12:55,325 --> 00:12:59,407 if you'd like to waddle out of the room, we'll see you all next week. Cheerio! 244 00:13:03,681 --> 00:13:06,235 I got to tell her something, I'll be right there. 245 00:13:09,350 --> 00:13:11,148 I'm going on vacation next Friday 246 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,671 so I won't be here for the class next week, is that OK? 247 00:13:15,097 --> 00:13:16,130 Marjorie? 248 00:13:22,449 --> 00:13:23,573 Sure. Just... 249 00:13:23,816 --> 00:13:26,016 make sure you eat sensibly while you're away. 250 00:13:36,668 --> 00:13:39,008 Many miles away, in Dayton, Ohio. 251 00:13:39,128 --> 00:13:42,943 This American couple are waiting for their British relatives to arrive. 252 00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:45,786 I'm making cucumber sandwiches and some scones. 253 00:13:46,073 --> 00:13:49,107 - What do British people like to drink? - Tea will be fine, I'm sure. 254 00:13:49,227 --> 00:13:50,392 With cold milk. 255 00:13:50,598 --> 00:13:53,753 I am nervous. I just want everything to be right for them. 256 00:13:53,873 --> 00:13:57,817 I know they're rather proper, but he's just my cousin, honey, we'll be fine. 257 00:14:02,078 --> 00:14:05,441 - Hi, welcome, Gerald. - Hello, cousin. 258 00:14:05,561 --> 00:14:07,028 - Celia, you know. - Of course. 259 00:14:07,148 --> 00:14:08,969 - Yes. Welcome. - Little Harvey. 260 00:14:09,089 --> 00:14:12,986 Harvey, oh, my goodness, how big you look. Please, come in. 261 00:14:13,106 --> 00:14:14,398 Set your luggage anywhere. 262 00:14:15,511 --> 00:14:18,694 - Kelly is making some tea. - Tea, wonderful. 263 00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:21,518 - It's a lovely house you have here. - Thank you. 264 00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:24,558 I'm sure it doesn't compare to your stately home. 265 00:14:24,678 --> 00:14:26,500 But we like it. 266 00:14:27,165 --> 00:14:30,789 - Tea, anybody? - This is my wife, Kelly. 267 00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:34,293 It's so nice to finally meet you. 268 00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:36,922 Hi, Harvey. 269 00:14:37,248 --> 00:14:40,215 - What can I get everyone? - I'll begin with a sandwich, please. 270 00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:43,177 Same for me, please. Thank you. 271 00:14:43,337 --> 00:14:44,993 Are you going to have anything, Harvey? 272 00:14:45,113 --> 00:14:46,116 Bitty. 273 00:14:46,236 --> 00:14:48,217 You had bitty on the plane, darling. 274 00:14:48,403 --> 00:14:49,266 Want bitty. 275 00:14:50,788 --> 00:14:53,896 Are you absolutely sure you don't mind us staying for the whole week? 276 00:14:54,056 --> 00:14:56,690 Oh, don't be silly. It'll be a pleasure having you here. 277 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,302 - Bitty! - Maybe later, hmm? 278 00:14:59,517 --> 00:15:00,449 Want bitty now! 279 00:15:00,569 --> 00:15:03,136 Come on, Harvey. You've had enough bitty for one day. 280 00:15:03,329 --> 00:15:04,638 Want bitty. 281 00:15:05,084 --> 00:15:07,150 All right, then. 282 00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:20,881 So, what do you recommend we do while we're here? 283 00:15:23,894 --> 00:15:27,369 The art museum is popular. 284 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:31,002 I hope they don't have too much of that modern art. 285 00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:33,774 National... 286 00:15:35,079 --> 00:15:39,060 - Park. - ... park may be more your thing. 287 00:15:40,553 --> 00:15:41,694 You're biting me. 288 00:15:41,956 --> 00:15:43,233 Sorry, Mummy. 289 00:15:45,713 --> 00:15:49,713 We have so much to see and do, we'd better make a proper list, right Gerald? 290 00:15:50,043 --> 00:15:51,705 Oh, yes, make a list, dear. 291 00:15:54,108 --> 00:15:56,738 - No, that's enough, now, Harvey. - Want more bitty. 292 00:15:56,858 --> 00:15:58,711 I'm sorry, I've got nothing left. 293 00:15:58,871 --> 00:16:00,246 Want more bitty. 294 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,174 Bitty. 295 00:16:08,437 --> 00:16:09,704 Would you mind? 296 00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:18,572 Well, we're all family. 297 00:16:27,234 --> 00:16:29,992 On both sides of the Atlantic, marriage is 298 00:16:30,152 --> 00:16:33,053 a wonderful way of destroying not just your own life, 299 00:16:33,173 --> 00:16:35,079 but also somebody else's. 300 00:16:35,548 --> 00:16:36,685 Monkeys. 301 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,990 That looks like the male monkey over there. 302 00:16:42,229 --> 00:16:45,760 That smaller fat ugly one must be the female monkey. 303 00:16:47,531 --> 00:16:48,639 So... 304 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,698 Sitting at opposite ends. 305 00:16:53,217 --> 00:16:55,630 Couldn't be further apart from each other. 306 00:16:57,253 --> 00:16:58,258 So... 307 00:16:59,882 --> 00:17:02,358 Maybe they where once in love, but... 308 00:17:04,027 --> 00:17:06,140 that love died a long time ago. 309 00:17:07,116 --> 00:17:09,285 And all his hopes and dreams with it. 310 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,159 Now they're trapped in a cage. 311 00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:17,941 Imprisoned together in misery. 312 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:26,588 I really am now just waiting for you to die. 313 00:17:27,658 --> 00:17:29,292 Right, the tortoise. 314 00:17:38,565 --> 00:17:39,983 Over at the White House, 315 00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:42,173 the President is having his first meeting 316 00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:44,321 with the new British Prime Minister. 317 00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:47,820 Do you have the documents British Intelligence put together? 318 00:17:48,064 --> 00:17:51,156 I have them here. I got the Foreign Office to make a copy for you. 319 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,244 What are the bullet points? 320 00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:57,069 Basically, there is a potential threat to our countries. 321 00:17:57,247 --> 00:17:59,540 Nuclear capabilities in the Middle East are being built up. 322 00:17:59,892 --> 00:18:00,874 As we thought. 323 00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:04,461 What we need to do, Mr President, is put on a show of strength. 324 00:18:05,012 --> 00:18:06,296 It's a good idea, {\Prime}Minister. 325 00:18:06,504 --> 00:18:09,620 I mean, if we pose together with our shirts off for the world's press? 326 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,178 - What? - We could get all... 327 00:18:14,478 --> 00:18:16,394 oiled up and have a wrestle. 328 00:18:17,853 --> 00:18:20,294 - Wrestle? - Yeah, 'cause wrestling is quite macho. 329 00:18:20,483 --> 00:18:22,041 I'd let you win, obviously. 330 00:18:22,244 --> 00:18:24,940 Cos you're the President of the United States of America. 331 00:18:25,702 --> 00:18:27,357 I'm not so sure that's a great idea{\, Prime Minister}. 332 00:18:27,477 --> 00:18:31,113 Why don't I get my advisers to put together a few options for us? 333 00:18:33,953 --> 00:18:35,756 We wouldn't have to be naked. 334 00:18:36,964 --> 00:18:38,713 - No? - Unless you want, no. 335 00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:41,385 We could wear thongs. Probably be more appropriate, 336 00:18:41,505 --> 00:18:42,914 as we are world leaders. 337 00:18:45,704 --> 00:18:48,297 Sorry to bother you. Hello, darling. 338 00:18:49,917 --> 00:18:52,593 - Prime Minister, have you met Ms Steel? - Is she your mum? 339 00:18:54,825 --> 00:18:57,222 - No, she's my wife. - Hello, Prime Minister. 340 00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,934 - Welcome to the White House. - Whatever. 341 00:19:02,438 --> 00:19:04,412 Are you enjoying your stay here with us? 342 00:19:04,532 --> 00:19:06,532 Um, I was, yeah. 343 00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:10,194 Sorry, we're having a meeting here. About, like, world things. 344 00:19:11,048 --> 00:19:12,362 Excuse me. I'm sorry. 345 00:19:13,348 --> 00:19:16,867 Darling, I just came by to let you know I've managed to move 346 00:19:17,027 --> 00:19:19,415 my meeting forward and I can join you for dinner this evening. 347 00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:20,598 Excellent. 348 00:19:20,718 --> 00:19:22,039 Do we really want her there? 349 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,612 - We'll see you at eight. - Great. 350 00:19:26,303 --> 00:19:29,139 - Goodbye, Prime Minister. - Yeah! Goodbye! 351 00:19:35,013 --> 00:19:36,845 Uh, where were we? 352 00:19:37,005 --> 00:19:38,704 Um... oh, yes. 353 00:19:39,598 --> 00:19:41,934 - Prime Minister, please. - Oh, my God, you're gorgeous. 354 00:19:42,185 --> 00:19:44,228 I want you inside me right now. 355 00:19:49,357 --> 00:19:52,736 Maybe we should resume our talks about the Middle-East tomorrow. 356 00:19:53,905 --> 00:19:55,811 Yes, of course, Mr President. 357 00:19:58,429 --> 00:20:00,889 - Thank you for your time. - Don't! I'm ticklish! 358 00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:04,657 Oh, God! 359 00:20:05,909 --> 00:20:07,174 Prime Minister. 360 00:20:08,161 --> 00:20:10,759 Mr President. You could do some damage with that. 361 00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:12,875 Please. 362 00:20:12,995 --> 00:20:15,175 That's what I call a weapon of mass destruction. 363 00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,251 If you like your home, your clothes 364 00:20:20,371 --> 00:20:23,136 and all your personal effects to smell of dog, 365 00:20:23,652 --> 00:20:25,004 why not get a dog? 366 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,689 Phyllis Church is a typical American dog-owner. 367 00:20:29,381 --> 00:20:32,020 Have you finished your business yet, Mr Doggie? 368 00:20:32,185 --> 00:20:35,856 Oh, yes, Mama, that was a big dinner you gave me last night. 369 00:20:37,255 --> 00:20:40,007 - Did you enjoy it? - It was delicious. 370 00:20:40,214 --> 00:20:43,838 I must be the luckiest dog in the world, having a Mama like you. 371 00:20:45,165 --> 00:20:48,333 Oh, thank you! Well, we'd better clean this up. 372 00:20:48,793 --> 00:20:49,918 I wanna see you poop. 373 00:20:51,739 --> 00:20:52,588 I'm sorry? 374 00:20:53,081 --> 00:20:57,050 I wanna see you poop. You always see me poop, I wanna see you poop! 375 00:21:00,443 --> 00:21:01,638 I can't do that. 376 00:21:01,898 --> 00:21:05,184 Sure you can! You can poop for me, it'd be cool. 377 00:21:05,549 --> 00:21:08,401 No... now, come on, Mr Doggie, 378 00:21:08,617 --> 00:21:11,481 let me take you to the pet store and buy you a nice ball. 379 00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:13,275 - Poop! - No. 380 00:21:13,656 --> 00:21:16,194 Poop for me! I said no! 381 00:21:16,802 --> 00:21:19,156 If you loved me, you'd do it. 382 00:21:22,595 --> 00:21:24,786 I don't think I can poop right now. 383 00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:28,665 Sure you can, you've been farting like a trouper all afternoon! 384 00:21:31,410 --> 00:21:32,711 Maybe a little one. 385 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,796 Do it, Goddammit! 386 00:21:50,254 --> 00:21:51,355 It's not easy! 387 00:21:51,963 --> 00:21:53,565 Just relax. 388 00:21:59,256 --> 00:22:00,366 That's disgusting! 389 00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:02,429 You should be ashamed of yourself! 390 00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:04,598 I can explain! 391 00:22:05,293 --> 00:22:07,565 You are one crazy bitch! 392 00:22:16,706 --> 00:22:21,344 Socialite Bubbles Devere is one of the most beautiful women in Britain. 393 00:22:21,721 --> 00:22:23,571 Having fled her creditors there, 394 00:22:23,721 --> 00:22:25,815 she's taken a luxury cruise to Rio. 395 00:22:26,288 --> 00:22:27,987 Well, here goes! 396 00:22:28,203 --> 00:22:29,810 My last lucky chippy. 397 00:22:30,144 --> 00:22:31,520 On three, please, darling. 398 00:22:33,328 --> 00:22:34,455 No more bets. 399 00:22:35,902 --> 00:22:37,564 Number 12. No winners. 400 00:22:38,778 --> 00:22:42,030 Actually, I meant to put mine on 12. Can I have it back please, darling? 401 00:22:42,318 --> 00:22:44,074 I'm sorry, madam. Place your bets. 402 00:22:46,732 --> 00:22:48,370 I'm putting my earrings on 21. 403 00:22:49,231 --> 00:22:51,515 - Your earrings, madam? - Yes, darling. They're Cartier. 404 00:22:51,635 --> 00:22:52,639 Diamonds. 405 00:22:56,705 --> 00:22:57,838 Yeah, same song. 406 00:22:58,463 --> 00:23:00,688 - Go, 21! - No more bets. 407 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,718 Number 29. No winners. 408 00:23:04,332 --> 00:23:07,097 Do it again, do it again. Does anyone mind if we do that one again? 409 00:23:07,337 --> 00:23:10,058 I'm sorry, madam. Place your bets! 410 00:23:12,755 --> 00:23:13,937 Place your bets. 411 00:23:15,496 --> 00:23:16,773 Mrs Devere! 412 00:23:17,158 --> 00:23:18,277 It's Dior, darling. 413 00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:20,153 - Dior? - Yes, Barry Dior. 414 00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:23,504 And my shoes, my lucky shoes on number 5. 415 00:23:23,657 --> 00:23:25,969 I've been married in them five times, they're so lucky. 416 00:23:26,089 --> 00:23:28,362 - No more bets. - I'm feeling lucky, darlings! 417 00:23:28,482 --> 00:23:31,204 Champagne, champagne for everyone! 418 00:23:32,866 --> 00:23:34,333 14. No winners. 419 00:23:35,266 --> 00:23:37,794 Oh. Tap water! Tap water for everyone! 420 00:23:38,294 --> 00:23:40,539 Those shoes absolutely stank, anyway. 421 00:23:42,217 --> 00:23:44,339 Do you mind? Place your bets. 422 00:23:44,629 --> 00:23:45,793 Place your bets. 423 00:23:49,681 --> 00:23:52,056 Madam, we cannot accept panties. 424 00:23:52,223 --> 00:23:54,144 Why not, darling? They're encrusted. 425 00:23:54,846 --> 00:23:57,015 - Encrusted? - With rubies, darling. 426 00:23:57,156 --> 00:24:00,400 They were a gift from my dear Arab friend, Omar Sharif. 427 00:24:00,556 --> 00:24:03,690 - I really don't think... - OK, then. Take this as well. 428 00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:07,157 Now, for God's sake, let's play. 429 00:24:07,743 --> 00:24:08,950 No more bets. 430 00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:12,273 Number one. No winners. 431 00:24:15,485 --> 00:24:19,381 Well, I think it's very important to know when to stop. 432 00:24:20,765 --> 00:24:22,005 Good night, darlings. 433 00:24:22,648 --> 00:24:26,372 And so, we have met the people of Britain and America. 434 00:24:26,492 --> 00:24:28,494 Why don't you take a photo, it lasts longer! 435 00:24:28,614 --> 00:24:32,849 Having now seen America, I do feel it has a long way to go if it wants 436 00:24:33,009 --> 00:24:34,997 to be treated as Britain's equal. 437 00:24:35,129 --> 00:24:38,211 Presently, we regard you as a funny little country 438 00:24:38,331 --> 00:24:39,805 with delusions of grandeur. 439 00:24:40,103 --> 00:24:42,563 In fact, I'd hate to be the one to say it, 440 00:24:43,004 --> 00:24:45,050 but a lot of people haven't even heard of you. 441 00:24:45,229 --> 00:24:46,356 Goodbye! 442 00:24:50,772 --> 00:24:53,213 Transcript: chocolate Sync: Benj! 443 00:24:53,263 --> 00:24:57,813 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34223

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