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WOMAN: Dan and Phil.
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Also known as Danis not on fire.
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And the Incredible Philip.
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Two Bloggers
known for their emo haircuts,
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confident,
larger-than-life personalities
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and calm, caring followers.
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Currently touring the world
with a new stage show
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promising to interact with
and please the audience.
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But how?
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(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
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So what are we doing here, Dan?
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Giving the people what they want, Phil.
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(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
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BOTH: Hello, everybody.
PHIL: What up?
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DAN: Thanks for coming to see us.
PHIL: Hello there. How's it going?
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- Hi, how are you doing?
- PHIL: Hello, hello, hello.
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- Fancy seeing you here.
- Hey, guys, how are you doing?
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All you guys, over there, at the back.
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So how are you doing tonight?
Are you guys good?
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-(ALL CHEERING)
- DAN: All right.
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Imagine how awkward it would've been,
if it was just awkward silence, there?
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- I know.
- But thankfully it wasn't.
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- Well glad to hear that you are good.
- Yes, indeed.
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We are also happy to be here,
you might have noticed these
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two giant, glowing eyes
either side of us.
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These couple of long boys hanging out
on the edge of the stage over here.
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Very phallic, we do realise that,
but, Phil, it's almost like
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they stand for something.
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- They do, interesting insects.
- Yep.
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- Er, that's what it stands for.
- It does.
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Release the bees.
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- No, that's not...
- You're cheering for bees?
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DAN: Wow.
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- What does that mean?
- I don't know.
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"Sting me", okay, whatever.
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No, no, it actually stands
for the name of the show,
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- Interactive Introverts.
- Oh, yes.
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Thank you, yes.
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Snazzy graphic design,
it sounds very cool.
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- It does.
- But, Phil,
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-what the hell does it mean?
- Well, we are two introverts.
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- Fact.
- And an introvert is someone
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that gets their energy back
from being alone.
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Now, the opposite of this
is called an "extrovert"
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and this, if you can believe,
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is a person that is actually meant
for socialising
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with other human beings.
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- What?
-(CHUCKLES)
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I know, weird, right?
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But apparently they exist.
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Yeah, it's like at a party, they just
wanna rub their face on everyone.
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Maybe not literally, but kind of, yeah.
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Although at a party, you’ll just
find us by the food and the dips.
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Yes, hiding in the corner by the snacks.
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I'm a Dorito-vert personally,
that's howl identify.
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Yeah, same, it's often confused
with shyness though.
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You don't have to be shy
to be an introvert,
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like if I was the shyest person
in the world,
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I'm not sure I'd be stood here
in front of all you guys.
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No, this would be terrifying, truly.
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Yeah, I'd more likely be curled up
in a ball on the floor.
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Just sat on the floor,
rocking backwards and forwards, crying.
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How I spend most of my evenings.
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Yes, no, it is possible
to be an introvert
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and to be social, like us,
stood here right now.
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- Yeah.
- It's just very emotionally draining.
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The way I like to imagine it
is if you all picture
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a life bar above our heads
like we're in a video game.
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It's as if any time, any of you
make a noise
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you're punching us emotionally.
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-(ALL SCREAMING)
- (BOTH CHUCKLING)
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BOTH: Oh!
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It burns.
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And then they died, yeah, basically,
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so based on that description,
does anybody here feel like
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they are an introvert too?
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-(ALL CHEERING)
- Wow. All of you.
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So you are really going through
something being sat with
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all these people right now.
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- Well, we appreciate that.
- We do.
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And can we get some noise
from the biggest extrovert in the room.
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- Any extroverts in the...
-(ALL CHEERING)
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DAN: (CHUCKLES)
Okay, calm down. Calm down.
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Security. No, it's fine.
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It's fine. I might not relate
personally, but you're valid.
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You are, and some people
watch our videos
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and they're like, "Wow, Dan and Phil."
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-"They're so loud and annoying."
-"They must be so outgoing."
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- Surely.
- But really, we're just
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two introverted guys.
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So being stood on a stage
in front of all these people,
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it's not our natural environment, okay?
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Our natural habitat is the sofa crease
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on the couch in our apartment.
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But the reason we wanted
to bravely venture outside
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to go on tour is because one day,
we're all inevitably going to die.
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And just turn into dust
and blow away with the wind
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and be forgotten. It's coming,
it's coming, okay?
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- Yeah.
- But before that
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we wanted you to feel like
you had a chance to connect
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-with the real Dan and Phil.
- Yeah, not as "Danis not on fire"
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and "Amazing Phil" but as Daniel Howell.
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- Yes.
- And my real name, Boris Humperdinck.
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That is Phil's real name, everybody.
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- It felt good to get that out.
- Thank you for sharing that, Phil.
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No worries. And you guys are the reason
that we are here on this stage, tonight.
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- Literally.
- And we just want to please you.
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Which is why the mission statement
for the show you are about to watch is,
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"Giving the people what they want."
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- That is right.
-(ALL CHEERING)
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Which is why this show
is totally interactive
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which we appreciate is very ironic
considering everything
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we just explained about
our personalities.
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Yes, which is why to warm things up,
we're gonna make a random member
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of the audience stand up right now.
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- You... just kidding, just kidding.
-(PHIL LAUGHING)
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- Oh, my gosh.
- Wow.
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- PHIL: Your faces were priceless.
- That right there showed who
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the introverts and the extroverts
in the room were.
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- It did.
- There were a few people
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that were like, "Yes".
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Literally, everybody else
went, "What? No!"
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I have never seen 5,000 people
curl into a ball
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-at the same time before.
- I know.
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- That was amazing.
- Don't worry, we wanna avoid
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awkward human contact as much as you.
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Yes, but don't worry,
there will be many ways
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that all of you here will control
what happens in the show tonight.
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And what that means is it will
end up becoming a reflection
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-of who you are as people.
- Yeah.
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The things you want to see,
the decisions you make,
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it will be whatever you want it to be.
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It will, but who are the people,
what do they want?
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- That is the question.
- Why do they want it?
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- That's also a valid question.
- Where do they want it?
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Er, no, no, when, when...
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- When they...
- Was...
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Now, okay, look, obviously,
there's lots of things some of you here
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might want to see Dan and Phil
do live on stage together,
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that we're not gonna do tonight,
because it's illegal
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or if it isn't technically illegal,
maybe it's just offensive
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or messy. I don't know
what you're thinking, okay?
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It could be anything,
but this was originally
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meant to be
a jelly wrestling arena, but...
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- We had to change it up a bit.
- You can tell from the shape, right?
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Get some ropes up, fill it with jelly,
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jelly wrestling, but ideas changed
and here we are now.
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So you might be wondering what
is actually happening tonight, guys.
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Well, we don't want to give
any of you the wrong ideas...
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- No.
-...or to get your hopes up for anything
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that we don't end up
delivering on, so first,
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to be absolutely clear,
right now, we are going to show you
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all of the things that we are not going
to do on stage tonight.
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ANNOUNCER: We have a wonderful show
for you tonight, everyone.
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I bet you're all excited to find out
what's in store?
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Oh, well, this isn't that.
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Are you ready? Here it comes.
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In tonight's show, Dan and Phil
will absolutely not
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do the six-second challenge.
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Dan, you have six seconds
to do an impression of a llama.
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(BUZZER RINGING)
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(LLAMA BRAYING)
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-(BUZZER RINGING)
-(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING)
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No.
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ANNOUNCER". Engage in erotic role-play.
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(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
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MAN 1 : Police Chief Lester here.
There's a baa' boy] need to see to.
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MAN 2: Please, be gentle with
the handcuffs, I have sensitive skin.
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ANNOUNCER". just have a staring contest.
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-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
-(ALL CHEERING)
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Damn it.
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ANNOUNCER". Dress up as their
cute, flowery, pastel personas.
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(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
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ANNOUNCER". (CHUCKLES)
Aren't they cute? Give us an "aw."
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AUDIENCE: Aw.
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ANNOUNCER". Let you touch their hair.
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Go on, who wants to stroke it?
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(WOMAN SCREAMING)
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ANNOUNCER". Sit down and react
to a 24-hour livestream
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of a domestic day
in Dan and Phil's apartment.
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00:10:24,225 --> 00:10:26,478
(ALL LAUGHING)
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00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,740
(TOILET FLUSHING)
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ANNOUNCER". Keep up with all the hottest
YouTube trends.
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DAN: Phil, draw a 700 layers
of make-up on me.
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00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:48,709
PHIL: Not before I eat
all these Tide Pods. (CRUNCH ES)
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Mmm, delicious.
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ANNOUNCER". Get all their best
social media superstar friends
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on stage for a big party.
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00:10:59,802 --> 00:11:03,432
(LAUGHS) just kidding,
they have no friends.
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00:11:03,514 --> 00:11:07,144
Literally, nobody responded
to their messages.
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00:11:07,352 --> 00:11:09,104
(HORNS BLOWING)
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00:11:10,271 --> 00:11:15,027
Confess real, emotional secrets
that are way too personal to share.
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00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,908
PHIL: I contracted
chlamydia from a koala.
194
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,001
DAN: I literally murdered a person,
their corpse is in this trunk.
195
00:11:23,076 --> 00:11:25,044
CROWD: (OVER SPEAKERS) Ooh!
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00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:29,420
ANNOUNCER". Release dogs on to the stage
and just play with them for two hours.
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00:11:35,797 --> 00:11:39,097
Wait, you remembered
to feed them, right?
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00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:41,140
CROWD: (OVER SPEAKERS) 0h!
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00:11:44,222 --> 00:11:46,270
ANNOUNCER". And finally...
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just get completely naked.
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00:11:50,645 --> 00:11:52,943
(SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:11:59,904 --> 00:12:02,498
Whoa'. Okay, that was a 'yoke.
203
00:12:02,573 --> 00:12:07,374
That was a joke,
calm the hell down, people.
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00:12:07,453 --> 00:12:11,833
Obviously, we're not actually
gonna get completely naked, okay?
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So those are all of the things
we're not going to do on stage, tonight.
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00:12:15,795 --> 00:12:19,925
Which is fine because none of you
actually wanted any of those things.
207
00:12:20,049 --> 00:12:22,768
- No.
- You have much better taste than that.
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Now that we've gotten this out
of the way,
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we can continue with
what we're actually doing in the show.
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- Right, Phil?
- Yeah, although some of you
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seemed a bit sad about the dogs.
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Well, spoiler alert, there might
be some dogs coming up
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-later in the show.
-(ALL CHEERING)
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Okay, Phil, if you are promising people
more dog content,
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you have to live up
to that promise, okay?
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- I would never dog tease anyone.
- Don't be a dog tease.
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00:12:47,827 --> 00:12:51,422
Right, so, er, if that's everything
that we're not going to do tonight,
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00:12:51,497 --> 00:12:54,592
you must be wondering
what the heckydizzle is in store?
219
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,169
- Yeah.
- Fair enough.
220
00:12:56,252 --> 00:12:58,004
I feel like before we get
into that though,
221
00:12:58,087 --> 00:13:00,260
we should probably do
something to get to know
222
00:13:00,298 --> 00:13:02,596
you guys a bit better,
you know, break the ice in here?
223
00:13:02,675 --> 00:13:05,428
- Yes.
- By releasing 20 tons of ice
224
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,313
-on to the audience.
- Go.
225
00:13:09,474 --> 00:13:11,351
- Really.
- In for that as well.
226
00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:13,819
- Y'all weird, okay.
- No.
227
00:13:13,936 --> 00:13:15,779
If we want to give you what
you want, we have to know
228
00:13:15,813 --> 00:13:18,032
-what kind of people you are.
- Yeah.
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00:13:18,107 --> 00:13:20,986
And as much as we'd like to take
you all out for coffee...
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00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:23,488
- Yes.
-...or get to know you all individually,
231
00:13:23,613 --> 00:13:25,786
have an eight-hour conversation
about something.
232
00:13:25,823 --> 00:13:28,372
Yeah, or slide into your DMs.
233
00:13:28,451 --> 00:13:32,001
- Maybe not that... We're sorry.
-(ALL CHEERING)
234
00:13:32,121 --> 00:13:34,123
- What was the hand gesture for?
- Sliding...
235
00:13:34,207 --> 00:13:37,632
What does that...
Sorry, no, I apologise for him.
236
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:40,839
There is no time, okay?
There are too many people here.
237
00:13:40,963 --> 00:13:42,965
So we just have to jump in the deep end.
238
00:13:43,007 --> 00:13:45,806
- Yeah.
- But thankfully, there's a little game
239
00:13:45,843 --> 00:13:51,316
we both know that is actually perfect
for this exact situation.
240
00:13:51,391 --> 00:13:53,189
BOTH: Truth bombs.
241
00:13:53,309 --> 00:13:55,732
(ALL CHEERING)
242
00:13:56,854 --> 00:13:59,323
So you've heard of the little game
that we released into the wild
243
00:13:59,357 --> 00:14:00,654
last year? Okay, that helps.
244
00:14:00,733 --> 00:14:02,701
PHIL: You mean the one with
Amazon reviews that say,
245
00:14:02,819 --> 00:14:04,662
"My sister doesn't talk to me anymore."
246
00:14:04,737 --> 00:14:07,411
- Yes.
-"My grandma wrote me out of the will."
247
00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:10,869
- That's the one.
- And, "My dog wants a divorce."
248
00:14:11,369 --> 00:14:15,374
Yes, this game finds out
what people really think of you
249
00:14:15,498 --> 00:14:18,342
by having them answer
some simple questions.
250
00:14:18,418 --> 00:14:21,672
So we asked you some questions
about the two of us
251
00:14:21,712 --> 00:14:25,012
and the thing is you could've
answered them in any way
252
00:14:25,091 --> 00:14:26,718
-that you wanted to.
- Yeah.
253
00:14:26,843 --> 00:14:29,187
You could've just been really honest
about what you think
254
00:14:29,220 --> 00:14:31,848
the real answer would be,
you could've been nice,
255
00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:34,559
just make us both feel good
about ourselves.
256
00:14:34,684 --> 00:14:38,860
Or you could choose to savagely
roast us in front of thousands of people
257
00:14:38,896 --> 00:14:41,069
for no reason!
258
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,942
(LAUGHS)
259
00:14:43,025 --> 00:14:45,574
Like I said, we'll find out
what kind of people you really are.
260
00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:47,697
But first, there's a little
something that's gonna help
261
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,908
make this more dramatic,
let me just get this out.
262
00:14:50,032 --> 00:14:51,625
- Yeah.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
263
00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:53,248
- Hey, Phil.
- What?
264
00:14:53,369 --> 00:14:55,371
- Your mum.
-(BUZZER RINGING)
265
00:14:55,413 --> 00:14:58,758
- Really? Wow.
- This is going to help things.
266
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:03,597
So as this game was his idea, I think
it's only fair that Phil goes first.
267
00:15:03,713 --> 00:15:07,308
Let's see what we asked you about Phil.
268
00:15:08,384 --> 00:15:13,106
-(DAN READING)
- Ooh.
269
00:15:13,222 --> 00:15:15,475
All right, I mean going up
and down this step is
270
00:15:15,558 --> 00:15:17,060
pretty hard work for me.
271
00:15:17,101 --> 00:15:20,480
Yeah, implying that Phil
has ever done an exercise, okay.
272
00:15:20,563 --> 00:15:24,659
Slow it down there, mister,
let's see what you had to say.
273
00:15:24,734 --> 00:15:30,161
Our fist answer comes from Jamie.
(READING)
274
00:15:30,239 --> 00:15:32,583
- PHIL:Jamie.
- Oh.
275
00:15:32,658 --> 00:15:34,660
My children.
276
00:15:35,077 --> 00:15:36,829
- Your children.
- My children.
277
00:15:36,913 --> 00:15:39,587
If they're your children,
your children are dead, Phil.
278
00:15:39,624 --> 00:15:41,126
- I know.
- You are not a very good dad
279
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:43,753
to these succulents.
Can we call protective services
280
00:15:43,794 --> 00:15:45,512
-on this guy?
- I think we need to.
281
00:15:45,588 --> 00:15:48,967
Who do you think is watering
our plants while we're on tour?
282
00:15:49,091 --> 00:15:51,765
We don't have any friends,
they are all dead, people.
283
00:15:51,802 --> 00:15:53,975
They are, I mean some people
have got green fingers,
284
00:15:54,096 --> 00:15:55,769
I have black death fingers.
285
00:15:55,806 --> 00:15:58,605
Phil has brown, crispy fingers
that, okay...
286
00:15:58,643 --> 00:16:05,777
Right, the next answer comes
from Hunter. (READING)
287
00:16:05,816 --> 00:16:09,036
- Okay, wow.
- Now this is something I'd be good at.
288
00:16:09,111 --> 00:16:13,036
Phil actually used to breed hamsters
as a hobby when he was a child.
289
00:16:13,115 --> 00:16:15,994
I did, but what would be that be like?
A set of hurdles,
290
00:16:16,118 --> 00:16:19,463
then you'd jump over them while
just rubbing the hamsters together.
291
00:16:19,497 --> 00:16:23,627
Sorry, while you do what?
Is that how you breed hamsters?
292
00:16:23,709 --> 00:16:26,553
- No.
- All right, jenny and Timmy, here we go.
293
00:16:26,629 --> 00:16:29,348
-(GRUNTS) Okay, babies, that's it.
-jenny and Timmy?
294
00:16:29,465 --> 00:16:32,014
- That's the secret to life right there.
- You just get them out their balls,
295
00:16:32,134 --> 00:16:35,308
-set up a little dinner table.
- Literally, nobody here
296
00:16:35,388 --> 00:16:38,312
wants to actually know
how you breed hamsters, Phil.
297
00:16:38,349 --> 00:16:42,855
(CHUCKLES)
And the last answer comes from Victor,
298
00:16:42,979 --> 00:16:45,323
who said, "Sunlight avoiding."
299
00:16:45,356 --> 00:16:48,360
Yes, I mean, if that
was an Olympic sport,
300
00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:51,363
- Phil would have the record.
- I did have to put SPF 100
301
00:16:51,487 --> 00:16:52,864
just to stand under this spotlight.
302
00:16:52,989 --> 00:16:56,835
Phil has that rare Voldemort complexion
that's so hard to protect
303
00:16:56,909 --> 00:16:59,537
in the summer sun. It's a miracle
that you're alive right now.
304
00:16:59,662 --> 00:17:02,381
- I'll Avada Kedavra you in a minute.
- Oh, my gosh.
305
00:17:02,498 --> 00:17:04,842
Hey, it's Victor that said it, right.
306
00:17:04,917 --> 00:17:07,511
Phil, only one of these
can be the winner.
307
00:17:07,545 --> 00:17:09,172
- Ooh.
- Which of these sports
308
00:17:09,213 --> 00:17:11,261
-would you get a medal in?
- I'm gonna go with Hunter
309
00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:15,390
-and the Speed Hamster Breeding.
-(BUZZER RINGING)
310
00:17:16,012 --> 00:17:20,518
Whoo, and that also gets the medal
for worst thing I've imagined this week
311
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,695
-which really says something.
- Nice. Give me that.
312
00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:26,272
- It's Dan's turn.
- Hey, hey, I'm not worried.
313
00:17:26,355 --> 00:17:29,529
I think they're all going to be
really nice about me.
314
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:32,195
- Let's see what we asked you about Dan.
-(LAUGHS)
315
00:17:32,236 --> 00:17:36,207
Okay. (READING)
316
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:41,212
Oh, I like that that's your reaction
to Phil just reading the question.
317
00:17:41,245 --> 00:17:43,543
- Ooh.
- Seriously, what do you think of me?
318
00:17:43,623 --> 00:17:46,251
Let's see what's hiding
in Dan's incognito tab.
319
00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:48,548
- I'm kind of scared.
- The first one comes from Ryan.
320
00:17:48,628 --> 00:17:50,881
-(READING)
- DAN: There it is.
321
00:17:50,963 --> 00:17:54,558
Wow, being here for like five minutes,
322
00:17:54,592 --> 00:17:56,720
-'there's the first furry 'yoke.
- Oh, my gosh.
323
00:17:56,761 --> 00:17:59,059
- Thank you, Ryan. Wow.
- Amazing.
324
00:17:59,096 --> 00:18:03,567
The next one comes from Hannah.
(READING)
325
00:18:03,643 --> 00:18:06,396
-(ALL CHEERING)
- What does that mean?
326
00:18:06,479 --> 00:18:09,733
I like that it's Saucy Shrek Fanfic
as opposed to one of those
327
00:18:09,774 --> 00:18:13,404
like blissful, calm, domestic
Shrek Fanfics that are out there.
328
00:18:13,444 --> 00:18:15,412
- I actually write them all.
- Really?
329
00:18:15,446 --> 00:18:17,369
Yeah, it was a steamy day in the swamp.
330
00:18:17,406 --> 00:18:19,579
- No.
- Donkey was lying on a bed
331
00:18:19,617 --> 00:18:24,248
in just a bikini, Shrek came in,
"You wanna see under my layers?"
332
00:18:24,288 --> 00:18:27,883
PHIL: Stop, you're horrifying everyone.
(CHUCKLES)
333
00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:30,136
Follow me on Wattpad, okay, right.
334
00:18:31,629 --> 00:18:36,476
I'm disturbed... Last one
comes from Lynn. (READING)
335
00:18:36,592 --> 00:18:40,438
-(ALL CHEERING)
- Okay, okay, fair enough.
336
00:18:40,471 --> 00:18:42,644
- Fair enough.
- I mean, you did a pretty good job.
337
00:18:42,765 --> 00:18:45,143
Let's be real, where is the lie?
338
00:18:45,267 --> 00:18:46,894
Where is the... It's not here.
339
00:18:46,936 --> 00:18:49,564
Only facts in this house, people.
340
00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:51,448
- Erm...
- What's the most accurate?
341
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:54,284
Well, I'm gonna say just because
the image of it will be
342
00:18:54,402 --> 00:18:56,746
burnt into my mind forever,
I'm gonna give it to
343
00:18:56,779 --> 00:18:58,452
the Saucy Shrek Fanfic.
344
00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:01,451
(BUZZER RINGING)
345
00:19:01,492 --> 00:19:03,961
Whoo! And you can say after that, Rose,
346
00:19:04,078 --> 00:19:06,172
Dan is on fire.
347
00:19:06,288 --> 00:19:09,007
- Oh. Sorry.
- Are you serious?
348
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:13,130
Leave, leave the stage right now.
That is unacceptable.
349
00:19:13,254 --> 00:19:16,633
Well, I think clearly doing
a Dan round and a Phil round
350
00:19:16,674 --> 00:19:20,178
is creating a bit of tension between us
that I don't think is helping.
351
00:19:20,302 --> 00:19:22,350
I can feel the tension.
352
00:19:22,471 --> 00:19:25,099
I don't think the tension
wants you to feel it, Phil.
353
00:19:25,141 --> 00:19:29,442
I think, in the interest
of the show, we should come together
354
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:33,984
and do one more round, where we both
get roasted at the same time.
355
00:19:34,108 --> 00:19:35,610
Is that what you want to see?
356
00:19:35,651 --> 00:19:37,494
- Yeah.
- Exactly.
357
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:41,991
Well, let's see what we asked you
about both of us.
358
00:19:42,491 --> 00:19:45,210
-(READING)
- Great.
359
00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:50,049
Great, lovely, I love our audience
fantasising about our death.
360
00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:52,214
- This is a great start to the show.
- It is the best.
361
00:19:52,334 --> 00:19:57,340
The first one comes from Elyce.
(READING)
362
00:19:58,883 --> 00:20:01,227
- Oh, my gosh.
- I don't think I've ever done
363
00:20:01,343 --> 00:20:04,313
five seconds of exercise
in my life, so that might be true.
364
00:20:04,346 --> 00:20:06,348
- That would be a real challenge.
- You have to be careful
365
00:20:06,390 --> 00:20:10,145
going up and down those stairs, mate,
I think you got one second left.
366
00:20:10,186 --> 00:20:12,689
Keep any eye on him, okay?
He's on the verge of death.
367
00:20:12,813 --> 00:20:16,693
The next comes from jameela. (READING)
368
00:20:16,734 --> 00:20:19,157
-(LAUGHS)
- Honestly, it's pretty close.
369
00:20:19,195 --> 00:20:22,745
Yeah, could we have designed a set
that's more of a trip hazard?
370
00:20:22,865 --> 00:20:26,039
- No, have you seen this...
- Whoo, watch out, guys.
371
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,037
- Please save me.
- What, save you?
372
00:20:28,162 --> 00:20:30,039
You would kill them
if you fell off the stage.
373
00:20:30,164 --> 00:20:32,713
- I think I would.
- Why would he even joke about that?
374
00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:35,757
There's like a 50% chance
that that will actually happen
375
00:20:35,878 --> 00:20:38,256
this evening, so I hope
you're ready to see the live death
376
00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:40,257
-of Amazing Phil.
- Look forward to it.
377
00:20:40,382 --> 00:20:45,058
- And the last one comes from Sam.
-(READING)
378
00:20:45,179 --> 00:20:51,607
- Okay, wow, Sam.
- That is too real, too real.
379
00:20:51,727 --> 00:20:54,731
You don't know, Dan and Phil games,
my mouth is getting us in trouble.
380
00:20:54,772 --> 00:20:56,240
- Oh, my gosh.
- This isn't a drill.
381
00:20:56,273 --> 00:20:58,617
Especially in Spooky Week,
Dan has a real problem.
382
00:20:58,734 --> 00:21:01,908
Er, well, which of these
are we going to give it to, Phil?
383
00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:04,077
How will we really die?
384
00:21:04,114 --> 00:21:06,867
I'm going to give it to Elyce
with Five Seconds of Exercise.
385
00:21:06,909 --> 00:21:10,288
- It is Five Seconds of Exercise.
-(BUZZER RINGING)
386
00:21:10,412 --> 00:21:12,915
Whoo! Well, there we go.
387
00:21:12,957 --> 00:21:14,755
That was Truth Bombs.
388
00:21:15,751 --> 00:21:17,298
Yikes.
389
00:21:17,628 --> 00:21:20,427
- Okay, you're done with that.
- Sorry, I was having fun.
390
00:21:20,464 --> 00:21:23,934
If that was our way of getting
to know you guys better.
391
00:21:23,968 --> 00:21:26,938
I am shooketh, big mistake for sure.
392
00:21:26,971 --> 00:21:29,099
Oh, Dan, don't be shooketh.
393
00:21:29,139 --> 00:21:31,767
I think it's a good thing. It meant we
got to know the audience better.
394
00:21:31,809 --> 00:21:34,312
Yeah, now we can start
giving them what they want.
395
00:21:34,436 --> 00:21:36,404
- Ooh.
- Okay, I'm just gonna ask
396
00:21:36,438 --> 00:21:38,156
-a quick general question.
- Yeah.
397
00:21:38,274 --> 00:21:42,780
Who here wishes they had the like,
magical ability
398
00:21:42,903 --> 00:21:45,747
to just force Dan and Phil
to do anything
399
00:21:45,781 --> 00:21:47,783
you wanted to see us do?
400
00:21:47,908 --> 00:21:49,285
-(ALL CHEERING)
- PHIL: A lot of people.
401
00:21:49,410 --> 00:21:52,960
Well, that'd be okay.
"Well, we are real human beings."
402
00:21:52,997 --> 00:21:54,965
- So it doesn't work like that.
- No.
403
00:21:55,082 --> 00:21:57,926
Sorry, no,
we're not fictional characters.
404
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:02,761
We are people with free will
and that means that sometimes
405
00:22:02,798 --> 00:22:05,301
the things that we choose
to do with our lives,
406
00:22:05,426 --> 00:22:07,849
they might not be the things
that you want to see from us.
407
00:22:07,970 --> 00:22:09,813
- No.
- But that just makes us feel bad.
408
00:22:09,847 --> 00:22:13,602
Honestly, like Phil said,
we just want to please you.
409
00:22:13,642 --> 00:22:16,316
I think that's why people
like The Sims so much though.
410
00:22:16,437 --> 00:22:18,280
Does anyone here watch our Sims series?
411
00:22:18,314 --> 00:22:19,987
(ALL CHEERING)
412
00:22:20,983 --> 00:22:24,328
It's a game where you make people
and you force them
413
00:22:24,361 --> 00:22:26,489
to do anything you want,
that's the reason it's fun.
414
00:22:26,530 --> 00:22:30,000
Yeah, you could just make five Sims,
put 'em in a swimming pool.
415
00:22:30,034 --> 00:22:33,004
- Remove the ladders.
-(CHUCKLES) Okay.
416
00:22:33,954 --> 00:22:37,208
Watching Sims slowly drown
is one way to pass the time
417
00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:39,552
-if you're into that.
- You know, I did a lot of that as a kid,
418
00:22:39,668 --> 00:22:41,136
should I be worried about myself?
419
00:22:41,170 --> 00:22:42,547
- AUDIENCE: Yeah.
- Yes.
420
00:22:42,671 --> 00:22:45,174
Should he be worried?
Hello, I live with him,
421
00:22:45,299 --> 00:22:46,892
I should be worried.
422
00:22:47,009 --> 00:22:48,727
Guys, I'm blinking, rescue me.
423
00:22:48,844 --> 00:22:52,223
Oh, you could also make
a room full of blenders
424
00:22:52,348 --> 00:22:55,693
or marry an alien,
or wa-hoo with a skeleton.
425
00:22:55,726 --> 00:22:59,526
And this isn’t just what our Sim,
Dil Howlter, has done.
426
00:22:59,563 --> 00:23:03,238
This is what Phil wishes he could do
in real life.
427
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,829
But we want to give you
that fun experience
428
00:23:06,862 --> 00:23:11,868
with Dan and Phil whilst
also testing how responsible you are.
429
00:23:11,909 --> 00:23:14,207
'Cause a lot of the stuff that
happens in this show,
430
00:23:14,244 --> 00:23:17,248
we give you control over us
and we don't really know
431
00:23:17,373 --> 00:23:19,375
how much we can trust you yet, so,
432
00:23:19,416 --> 00:23:23,592
first, we'd like to test you
in a safe, controlled environment.
433
00:23:23,712 --> 00:23:26,215
Which is why we're very excited
to show you something
434
00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:29,059
that we have been working on
for a long time.
435
00:23:29,176 --> 00:23:32,350
BOTH: A simulation!
436
00:23:32,388 --> 00:23:36,234
That is right, we have been building
this simulation ever since
437
00:23:36,350 --> 00:23:38,102
we were foetuses.
438
00:23:38,227 --> 00:23:40,070
- Not even babies.
- No.
439
00:23:40,104 --> 00:23:42,232
Foetuses, people,
we have put the time in.
440
00:23:42,272 --> 00:23:45,025
We have and we have spent
billions of pounds
441
00:23:45,067 --> 00:23:46,785
and dollars on this technology.
442
00:23:46,902 --> 00:23:51,578
Yes, this is the most accurate
Dan and Phil simulator
443
00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:53,208
-that will ever exist.
- Yeah.
444
00:23:53,242 --> 00:23:56,746
Inside this machine
are a digital Dan and Phil
445
00:23:56,787 --> 00:23:59,210
that you will be able to control,
446
00:23:59,248 --> 00:24:03,094
but the thing is, whilst technically
you can do anything you want,
447
00:24:03,210 --> 00:24:06,589
the Dan and Phil in this machine
have highly powerful
448
00:24:06,714 --> 00:24:08,591
-artificial intelligence.
- They do.
449
00:24:08,674 --> 00:24:12,679
So, they think and feel
just as much as the real us.
450
00:24:12,761 --> 00:24:16,732
So, be responsible, okay?
Only do things that you would
451
00:24:16,765 --> 00:24:19,609
if you were controlling our real lives.
452
00:24:19,727 --> 00:24:21,946
Remember, this is a test, okay?
453
00:24:22,062 --> 00:24:23,939
Right, let's boot up the first program.
454
00:24:24,023 --> 00:24:26,117
- Here we go.
-(HORSE WHINNIES)
455
00:24:26,233 --> 00:24:28,201
- Er, Phil. What is that?
- No, no!
456
00:24:28,277 --> 00:24:31,451
- Stop. Make it go.
- Phil, explain.
457
00:24:31,530 --> 00:24:35,580
That was a private simulation
I was working on.
458
00:24:35,951 --> 00:24:37,749
(ALL CHEERING)
459
00:24:39,538 --> 00:24:42,462
Of all the references
you thought you were gonna get tonight.
460
00:24:42,583 --> 00:24:47,054
Horse Prince, there we go,
okay, can we boot up the Phil program?
461
00:24:47,629 --> 00:24:49,927
- Ooh, hello.
- Oh, so I should explain,
462
00:24:49,965 --> 00:24:52,309
everything that happens
in this simulation
463
00:24:52,426 --> 00:24:55,270
is based on data from our real lives.
464
00:24:55,304 --> 00:24:58,103
So they are situations
that we would really be in.
465
00:24:58,140 --> 00:25:00,814
Choices that we would actually make.
466
00:25:00,934 --> 00:25:02,652
Let's see where Phil is today.
467
00:25:03,145 --> 00:25:06,775
Phil arrives at Barstucks.
468
00:25:06,815 --> 00:25:09,659
Ooh, I think this simulation
didn't wanna get sued.
469
00:25:09,735 --> 00:25:13,410
Fair enough. He's staring
at the menu, what should he order?
470
00:25:13,489 --> 00:25:16,618
So, there's gonna be two choices.
I will read them out,
471
00:25:16,658 --> 00:25:19,958
then ask you to cheer
for one that you want to happen
472
00:25:19,995 --> 00:25:22,498
and Phil will do it.
So let's see the options.
473
00:25:22,581 --> 00:25:26,085
Phil could order a nice hot chocolate.
474
00:25:26,168 --> 00:25:28,170
- Sure.
- Sounds good.
475
00:25:28,253 --> 00:25:33,976
Or the new pumpkin spiced
unicorn, death cinnamon frappé.
476
00:25:34,009 --> 00:25:35,682
Wow. (CHUCKLES) Lot going on there.
477
00:25:35,803 --> 00:25:38,181
- I am feeling pretty curious.
- Well, it's up to you.
478
00:25:38,305 --> 00:25:40,683
Cheer for the one you want,
who wants Phil to order
479
00:25:40,808 --> 00:25:42,310
a nice hot chocolate?
480
00:25:42,351 --> 00:25:44,103
-(ALL CHEERING)
- Anybody? All right.
481
00:25:44,186 --> 00:25:46,280
Thank you, people, lovely drink.
482
00:25:46,355 --> 00:25:49,825
And who wants him to order
the spicy, unicorn,
483
00:25:49,858 --> 00:25:52,031
-death thing?
-(LOUDER CHEERING)
484
00:25:52,152 --> 00:25:56,328
- It sounds more interesting.
- Wow. It does sound good.
485
00:25:56,365 --> 00:25:59,710
Phil orders the frappé.
See, this is going well so far.
486
00:25:59,827 --> 00:26:01,204
- Yeah.
- Good job, everybody.
487
00:26:01,286 --> 00:26:03,038
Ooh, that does like delicious.
488
00:26:03,163 --> 00:26:06,337
The frappé is vibrating
with energy that...
489
00:26:06,792 --> 00:26:09,045
- You okay there, Phil?
- It's vibrating with energy.
490
00:26:09,169 --> 00:26:11,342
- Is that supposed to be the frappé?
- Yeah.
491
00:26:11,380 --> 00:26:13,132
How big is this frickin' drink?
492
00:26:13,215 --> 00:26:16,890
Put your hands down,
it gives Phil a huge sugar rush
493
00:26:16,969 --> 00:26:19,643
and he has to capture it for the lnsta.
494
00:26:19,721 --> 00:26:22,565
Okay, everyday relatable situations.
495
00:26:22,683 --> 00:26:24,230
- Okay.
- But what will he do?
496
00:26:24,351 --> 00:26:28,857
He could either... (READING)
497
00:26:28,897 --> 00:26:31,025
- Sure. He's had a lot of sugar.
- Sure.
498
00:26:31,066 --> 00:26:37,494
Or "Accidentally tweet a private photo
of him in his underwear."
499
00:26:37,573 --> 00:26:40,577
- What?
-(LAUGHS) Wait, Phil, why would
500
00:26:40,659 --> 00:26:43,754
-the simulation suggests this?
- There's nothing like that hidden
501
00:26:43,871 --> 00:26:46,420
-on my phone.
- Well, okay, er, I feel like
502
00:26:46,540 --> 00:26:51,091
this is the point where I have
to remind you that this digital Phil
503
00:26:51,211 --> 00:26:54,761
experiences real guilt and shame.
504
00:26:54,882 --> 00:26:57,556
- Be responsible, do the right thing.
- Yeah.
505
00:26:57,593 --> 00:26:59,891
Who wants a selfie with the drink?
506
00:26:59,928 --> 00:27:01,771
-(ALL CHEERING)
- Anybody? Sure.
507
00:27:02,431 --> 00:27:05,435
Lovely selfie, might be a bit blurry.
508
00:27:06,685 --> 00:27:09,438
Who wants him to tweet
a photo in his underwear?
509
00:27:09,521 --> 00:27:11,615
-(LOUDER CHEERING)
- PHIL: Oh, no.
510
00:27:11,690 --> 00:27:12,782
- Guys.
- I feel like
511
00:27:12,858 --> 00:27:15,281
-they're not taking this seriously.
- Wow.
512
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:18,455
What, we can't be seen to be
like shaming anybody.
513
00:27:18,530 --> 00:27:20,077
Just get it over with, Dan.
514
00:27:20,115 --> 00:27:23,915
He tweets the private photo,
I apologise for anything
515
00:27:23,952 --> 00:27:26,626
-mentally scarring, that you...
-(ALL CHEERING)
516
00:27:26,747 --> 00:27:29,751
Er, look, that's before
I did my one push up in the morning.
517
00:27:29,791 --> 00:27:33,637
"Privatesexyphoto.j pg"
that's a real photo there.
518
00:27:33,754 --> 00:27:34,926
Totally real.
519
00:27:34,963 --> 00:27:39,139
Phil tries to delete the photo
and he drops his phone in the drink.
520
00:27:39,259 --> 00:27:40,476
- What?
- Good one.
521
00:27:40,552 --> 00:27:42,975
He also spills cream
all over his crotch.
522
00:27:43,096 --> 00:27:45,645
Right, you got him into
this mess, people,
523
00:27:45,766 --> 00:27:48,064
you have to get him out of it.
Let's see what we can do.
524
00:27:48,143 --> 00:27:52,444
- Oh, hello.
- A kooky dude appears.
525
00:27:52,481 --> 00:27:54,233
It's Satan!
526
00:27:54,316 --> 00:27:56,819
-(ALL CHEERING)
- What?
527
00:27:57,402 --> 00:27:58,995
Did you just cheer for Satan?
528
00:27:59,446 --> 00:28:00,993
- PHIL: Wow.
-(AUDIENCE CONTINUES CHEERING)
529
00:28:02,616 --> 00:28:04,835
just 'cause he's shirtless, guys, right.
530
00:28:04,910 --> 00:28:07,834
He wants to make a deal,
let's see the choice here.
531
00:28:07,955 --> 00:28:12,677
Phil Could... (READING)
532
00:28:12,751 --> 00:28:15,675
- Sounds good.
- Sure, bit of Fletnix and Phil?
533
00:28:15,754 --> 00:28:17,973
Casual evening, or...
534
00:28:18,924 --> 00:28:22,144
(READING)
535
00:28:22,177 --> 00:28:24,646
You know, I do not trust
this man and his nipples.
536
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,353
But it's up to them.
537
00:28:26,473 --> 00:28:28,942
Who wants to avoid Satan?
538
00:28:29,017 --> 00:28:31,440
-(ALL CHEERING)
- DAN: All right.
539
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,488
- Respectable choice.
- Yeah.
540
00:28:33,522 --> 00:28:35,866
Who wants him to sell his soul to Satan?
541
00:28:35,941 --> 00:28:38,319
-(ALL CHEERING)
- PHIL: Guys.
542
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:42,160
That was passionate. Did you think
you'd be enthusiastically cheering
543
00:28:42,197 --> 00:28:44,199
for making a deal with Satan
this evening?
544
00:28:44,324 --> 00:28:46,201
-(CHEERING)
- Yes.
545
00:28:46,285 --> 00:28:48,208
Yes, what do you mean, yes?
546
00:28:48,328 --> 00:28:50,797
I was gonna do it anyway,
even if I didn't come here.
547
00:28:50,872 --> 00:28:53,216
- Wow.
- We're making a deal.
548
00:28:53,292 --> 00:28:55,966
Look, Phil, don't worry,
this might all work out.
549
00:28:56,044 --> 00:28:57,717
- Let's see where we are.
- This seems all right.
550
00:28:57,838 --> 00:28:59,135
Well, we're still in the coffee shop.
551
00:28:59,214 --> 00:29:01,387
- Guess everything worked out fine.
-(FLAMES BLAZING)
552
00:29:01,508 --> 00:29:04,182
Phil goes to hell with Satan
553
00:29:04,219 --> 00:29:09,521
when suddenly he hears the sound of
scissors and glue pouring onto glitter.
554
00:29:09,558 --> 00:29:11,151
- What have you done?
-(ALL CHEERING)
555
00:29:11,226 --> 00:29:13,194
Why is there glitter in hell?
I have no idea
556
00:29:13,228 --> 00:29:14,821
-what that could...
-(BOTH SCREAM)
557
00:29:14,896 --> 00:29:16,569
(ALL CHEERING)
558
00:29:17,399 --> 00:29:20,403
(GASPS) That makes sense,
that actually makes complete sense.
559
00:29:20,694 --> 00:29:23,322
Dan appears holding a potato.
560
00:29:23,405 --> 00:29:28,536
"Time to get printing, Philly."
He stamps Phil to death for eternity.
561
00:29:28,577 --> 00:29:31,581
- No, stop, cancel.
- Can we shut it down, please?
562
00:29:31,705 --> 00:29:33,753
- Cancel the simulation.
- Oh, my gosh.
563
00:29:33,874 --> 00:29:35,922
- Wow.
- I trusted you.
564
00:29:36,001 --> 00:29:40,598
The man went in to order a drink
and you sacrificed him to the devil.
565
00:29:40,672 --> 00:29:42,549
Are you proud of yourselves?
566
00:29:42,591 --> 00:29:45,891
- PHIL: Yes, they are.
- Really?
567
00:29:45,927 --> 00:29:47,554
Okay, you know what,
I don't feel like we need
568
00:29:47,596 --> 00:29:49,769
to continue this to make
the point we're trying to make.
569
00:29:49,890 --> 00:29:53,019
No, I think we need to do
the Dan simulation.
570
00:29:54,102 --> 00:29:59,905
Okay, fine, fine, whatever. Only if
they take it completely seriously
571
00:29:59,983 --> 00:30:01,326
this time.
572
00:30:01,401 --> 00:30:04,280
All right, let's boot it up. Boop.
573
00:30:05,322 --> 00:30:07,996
Ooh, Dan decides to go outside.
574
00:30:08,075 --> 00:30:11,670
Whoa, whoa, what reality
is this based on?
575
00:30:11,745 --> 00:30:15,170
(READING)
576
00:30:16,375 --> 00:30:17,501
Right.
577
00:30:17,584 --> 00:30:19,461
Ooh. What are you gonna do?
578
00:30:19,544 --> 00:30:21,922
Does he go home and sit in the dark?
579
00:30:22,005 --> 00:30:24,724
I mean, that's what I would do
if I found myself
580
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,644
-outside for any reason.
- Sure.
581
00:30:27,719 --> 00:30:30,563
Or... (READING)
582
00:30:30,639 --> 00:30:32,516
- All right, whatever.
- It's up to you guys,
583
00:30:32,599 --> 00:30:34,522
who wants him to go home
and sit in the dark?
584
00:30:37,270 --> 00:30:40,023
(WHOOPS) Sitting in the dark,
my people.
585
00:30:40,107 --> 00:30:41,950
- Yeah, okay.
- And who wants to talk
586
00:30:42,025 --> 00:30:43,402
to the suspicious man?
587
00:30:43,485 --> 00:30:45,408
(ALL CHEERING LOUDLY)
588
00:30:45,487 --> 00:30:49,867
Hey, hey, whatever, fine, I need
more friends that aren’t just Phil.
589
00:30:49,950 --> 00:30:53,045
- Sure, let's talk to the man.
- Here we go.
590
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,334
(READING)
591
00:31:00,502 --> 00:31:03,381
It's a what? (LAUGHING)
592
00:31:03,463 --> 00:31:08,139
Look, okay, right, look,
furries are a thing.
593
00:31:08,218 --> 00:31:11,893
They're out there, half of you
are probably furries.
594
00:31:11,972 --> 00:31:13,724
We are not here to judge.
595
00:31:13,807 --> 00:31:15,809
So let's just see where this goes.
596
00:31:15,892 --> 00:31:18,190
But what are you gonna do
with your furry friend?
597
00:31:18,270 --> 00:31:21,194
- We just met.
- Do you... (READING)
598
00:31:21,273 --> 00:31:23,401
My default response
to human interaction.
599
00:31:23,483 --> 00:31:26,953
Or... (READING)
600
00:31:27,028 --> 00:31:28,575
(DAN LAUGHS)
601
00:31:29,322 --> 00:31:33,998
You can all make whatever choices
you want to and that is fine,
602
00:31:34,077 --> 00:31:37,377
just know that I will be judging
you personally based on what
603
00:31:37,456 --> 00:31:39,379
-you cheer for here.
- Let's see what they want.
604
00:31:39,458 --> 00:31:41,131
Who wants to see the memes?
605
00:31:41,209 --> 00:31:43,007
(ALL CHEERING)
606
00:31:43,086 --> 00:31:47,887
Thank you, I have some lovely
Shiba Inu gifts to show this furry.
607
00:31:47,966 --> 00:31:51,266
And who wants the tickets
to the underground furry rave?
608
00:31:51,344 --> 00:31:54,393
-(ALL CHEERING LOUDLY)
- PHIL: That's the one.
609
00:31:54,473 --> 00:31:57,397
Fine, fine, just know that
God is judging you.
610
00:31:57,476 --> 00:31:59,854
- Okay.
- Let's hit the club.
611
00:31:59,936 --> 00:32:02,610
This is a lot weirder
than I hoped it would be.
612
00:32:02,689 --> 00:32:04,657
Ooh, that isn't me.
613
00:32:04,733 --> 00:32:07,828
(READING)
614
00:32:07,903 --> 00:32:10,452
(LAUGHS) In my what?
I don't have one of those.
615
00:32:10,530 --> 00:32:13,124
- I wondered what you got in the mail.
- Shut up, shut up.
616
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,205
But what happens now,
does he... (READING)
617
00:32:17,287 --> 00:32:21,667
Er, who walks into a club
and just starts doing shots
618
00:32:21,750 --> 00:32:23,752
-off somebody?
- You apparently.
619
00:32:23,835 --> 00:32:27,055
Or... (READING)
620
00:32:27,130 --> 00:32:29,849
That sounds like
a lovely, innocent time.
621
00:32:29,925 --> 00:32:31,222
- Yeah.
- I just wanna say,
622
00:32:31,301 --> 00:32:34,430
this seems like the point
in the Phil simulation
623
00:32:34,513 --> 00:32:38,359
where we went down the whole,
Satan, torture path.
624
00:32:38,433 --> 00:32:40,777
You don't need to make
the same mistakes, okay?
625
00:32:40,852 --> 00:32:42,729
Don't listen to everyone around you.
626
00:32:42,812 --> 00:32:46,032
You are all individuals with free will
and I trust you
627
00:32:46,107 --> 00:32:47,484
to do the right thing.
628
00:32:47,567 --> 00:32:49,490
I don't think you're helping your case.
629
00:32:49,569 --> 00:32:51,196
Who wants the otter?
630
00:32:51,279 --> 00:32:53,782
(ALL CHEERING)
631
00:32:53,865 --> 00:32:55,788
- Well, that was loud.
- Wow.
632
00:32:55,867 --> 00:32:57,869
And who wants polite conversation?
633
00:32:58,161 --> 00:32:59,504
(SCATTERED CHEERING)
634
00:33:00,539 --> 00:33:01,916
There was an attempt.
635
00:33:01,998 --> 00:33:04,672
Time to get your otter out for the lads.
636
00:33:04,751 --> 00:33:06,469
Never say that again.
637
00:33:07,420 --> 00:33:09,718
Ooh, that is a lot of tequila.
638
00:33:09,798 --> 00:33:13,894
(READING)
639
00:33:13,969 --> 00:33:17,394
Er, Interactive Introverts
is not legally responsible
640
00:33:17,472 --> 00:33:20,772
for any sexually explicit images
that you are not leg... Okay.
641
00:33:20,850 --> 00:33:22,602
Oh, er...
642
00:33:22,686 --> 00:33:24,859
(READING)
643
00:33:24,938 --> 00:33:26,281
(LAUGHS) Oh, thank God, okay.
644
00:33:26,356 --> 00:33:28,358
- Just don't pee in the suit.
- I thought that was going
645
00:33:28,441 --> 00:33:29,658
-somewhere much weirder.
- Yeah.
646
00:33:29,734 --> 00:33:31,111
What happens now?
647
00:33:31,194 --> 00:33:33,196
Does he... (READING)
648
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,033
I mean, that's what you do
in this situation, right?
649
00:33:36,116 --> 00:33:39,165
Or... (READING)
650
00:33:39,244 --> 00:33:41,997
Oh, for God's sake. Ha, ha. Very funny.
651
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,549
Right, I am gonna go kick
the computer after this.
652
00:33:44,624 --> 00:33:48,094
Do we even have to ask,
who wants the door code?
653
00:33:48,169 --> 00:33:50,171
(CHEERING SOFTLY)
654
00:33:50,255 --> 00:33:51,973
Literally five people. All right.
655
00:33:52,048 --> 00:33:54,517
And who wants the lady door?
656
00:33:54,593 --> 00:33:56,891
(ALL CHEERING)
657
00:33:56,970 --> 00:34:01,567
This is why we need to destroy
the concept of gender, okay?
658
00:34:01,641 --> 00:34:03,735
So this situation doesn't happen
to anybody.
659
00:34:03,810 --> 00:34:05,528
Thank you, yes.
660
00:34:05,604 --> 00:34:08,608
Lady, lady, enter the lady door.
661
00:34:08,690 --> 00:34:09,907
Jesus.
662
00:34:10,650 --> 00:34:13,449
Ooh. (READING)
663
00:34:13,528 --> 00:34:15,656
This is so embarrassing, I can't look.
664
00:34:17,032 --> 00:34:18,284
BOTH: Oh.
665
00:34:18,366 --> 00:34:20,915
(READING)
666
00:34:23,163 --> 00:34:24,710
- I what?
- You die.
667
00:34:24,789 --> 00:34:26,791
I die, what do you mean I died?
668
00:34:26,875 --> 00:34:28,218
Well, is that it?
669
00:34:28,293 --> 00:34:31,467
-(BELL TOLLING)
-(READING)
670
00:34:33,632 --> 00:34:36,226
Are you kidding me?
Are you freakin' kidding me?
671
00:34:36,301 --> 00:34:40,602
Why are you cheering for this?
Hello, no, no.
672
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:47,154
This is the bad ending, people.
This is literally the worst, possible,
673
00:34:47,228 --> 00:34:49,697
timeline that can happen right now.
674
00:34:49,773 --> 00:34:51,650
- They don't even care.
- They're happy.
675
00:34:51,733 --> 00:34:54,236
Just shut it down, shut it down,
abort, abort.
676
00:34:54,319 --> 00:34:56,413
No. Wow.
677
00:34:56,905 --> 00:34:59,624
I think we could've spent
all that money on something else.
678
00:34:59,699 --> 00:35:04,375
All those billions of pounds and dollars
for nothing!
679
00:35:04,454 --> 00:35:07,958
Wow, well, if that was the test
for how responsible all of you
680
00:35:08,041 --> 00:35:11,466
are gonna be this evening, I think
we should just run for our lives.
681
00:35:11,544 --> 00:35:13,262
I'm a dip, see you later.
682
00:35:13,338 --> 00:35:16,888
- No, Dan, Danny boy. Listen.
-(HUMMING)
683
00:35:16,966 --> 00:35:21,142
What? I don't think
we can judge them on that.
684
00:35:21,221 --> 00:35:23,440
I mean, there were some people
in the audience that were like,
685
00:35:23,515 --> 00:35:25,062
"I wanna see Phil's selfie."
686
00:35:25,141 --> 00:35:26,893
"I wanna see the memes."
687
00:35:26,976 --> 00:35:29,479
Okay, sure, fine, there were
a few people out there
688
00:35:29,562 --> 00:35:33,533
cheering for the normal stuff,
but, no, no, you got out cheered
689
00:35:33,608 --> 00:35:36,236
by everybody else and your voices
weren't heard.
690
00:35:36,319 --> 00:35:37,787
- No.
- That is the way that the world works.
691
00:35:37,862 --> 00:35:40,661
I also think this was an example
of mob mentality.
692
00:35:40,740 --> 00:35:42,959
'Cause there were some people
in the audience that everyone
693
00:35:43,034 --> 00:35:44,752
was screaming around them
and it was making them
694
00:35:44,828 --> 00:35:46,546
change their own opinions.
695
00:35:46,621 --> 00:35:48,874
I mean you wanna fit in
to a big group, right?
696
00:35:48,957 --> 00:35:51,756
Like, if there's an angry mob
walking past your house,
697
00:35:51,835 --> 00:35:54,304
you don't have to know what
they're angry about.
698
00:35:54,379 --> 00:35:56,507
- No.
- It just looks catchy and fun.
699
00:35:56,589 --> 00:35:59,308
So you go outside,
you pick up a pitchfork,
700
00:35:59,384 --> 00:36:02,433
march along for a bit
before you know, you're stabbing Phil
701
00:36:02,512 --> 00:36:04,264
in the butt and you don't know
how you got there.
702
00:36:04,347 --> 00:36:07,726
- It's human nature.
- Well, I think l can prove
703
00:36:07,809 --> 00:36:10,688
this is happening with an experiment.
704
00:36:11,438 --> 00:36:12,940
DAN: All right.
705
00:36:14,524 --> 00:36:16,572
What the hell was that walk?
706
00:36:16,651 --> 00:36:19,871
- That was my mysterious walk.
- Yep, no problem.
707
00:36:19,946 --> 00:36:21,869
Phil is a mystery to me.
708
00:36:21,948 --> 00:36:25,418
But before we begin my experiment
to prove you all think the same,
709
00:36:25,493 --> 00:36:27,416
I think we need to sync up the audience.
710
00:36:27,495 --> 00:36:30,499
Yes, get them all in this
angry mob together, okay.
711
00:36:30,582 --> 00:36:32,584
And we'll do that by learning
your collective name,
712
00:36:32,667 --> 00:36:35,637
you know like a group of animals
like a pride of lions.
713
00:36:35,712 --> 00:36:38,682
A murder of crows,
that's my go-to example.
714
00:36:38,757 --> 00:36:40,851
Or a sea of rats.
715
00:36:41,551 --> 00:36:43,098
- Right?
-(ALL CHEERING)
716
00:36:43,178 --> 00:36:44,930
They like that one.
717
00:36:45,013 --> 00:36:48,859
We'll do that by everyone saying
their name at the same time.
718
00:36:48,933 --> 00:36:51,937
Then we will know what
you are collectively called, all right?
719
00:36:52,020 --> 00:36:53,693
Yeah, are we ready? Here we go.
720
00:36:53,772 --> 00:36:54,864
Say it.
721
00:36:54,939 --> 00:36:56,987
(ALL SHOUTING IN DISTINCTLY)
722
00:36:57,066 --> 00:36:59,990
Oh, my gosh, that was like
some kind of alien war cry.
723
00:37:00,069 --> 00:37:01,446
That was terrifying.
724
00:37:01,529 --> 00:37:04,282
Yeah, what, did you hear a name
in that abyss, Phil?
725
00:37:04,365 --> 00:37:05,787
- Do you know what I heard?
- What?
726
00:37:05,867 --> 00:37:07,460
Susan!
727
00:37:07,786 --> 00:37:10,130
- But did you hear Susan too?
- Yeah.
728
00:37:10,205 --> 00:37:12,378
I definitely heard Susan.
729
00:37:12,457 --> 00:37:15,176
- Susan.
- It was absolutely... That is crazy.
730
00:37:15,251 --> 00:37:18,846
So that means you are
all now collectively Susan!
731
00:37:18,922 --> 00:37:21,471
Henceforth, you are Susan.
732
00:37:21,549 --> 00:37:23,551
Hey there, Susan, nice to meet you.
733
00:37:23,635 --> 00:37:24,932
Dan,hi
734
00:37:25,011 --> 00:37:29,517
So now you're are synced up as Susan,
we can move on to the first experiment.
735
00:37:29,599 --> 00:37:33,445
It involves the fact that everyone says
that me and Dan should get a dog.
736
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,817
That is a thing.
737
00:37:34,896 --> 00:37:37,149
- Yeah.
-(ALL SHOUTING)
738
00:37:37,232 --> 00:37:39,781
Hey, we want to give
the people what they want.
739
00:37:39,859 --> 00:37:41,611
They just want us to get a dog, Phil,
740
00:37:41,694 --> 00:37:43,867
that is literally all
anybody cares about.
741
00:37:43,947 --> 00:37:47,247
They do. But the question is, Susy Pops,
742
00:37:47,325 --> 00:37:49,248
what breed of dog should it be?
743
00:37:49,661 --> 00:37:51,504
Mmm, okay.
744
00:37:52,247 --> 00:37:55,842
Look, look, everyone has
their own favourite breed of dog.
745
00:37:55,917 --> 00:37:58,136
- They do.
- The dog they imagine us getting.
746
00:37:58,211 --> 00:38:01,090
But there is no way that everybody here
747
00:38:01,172 --> 00:38:03,891
-could come to one decision.
- I think they could
748
00:38:03,967 --> 00:38:06,720
using the grid of dogs.
749
00:38:06,803 --> 00:38:10,899
Bam! Oh, you wanted more dog
content? Here you go.
750
00:38:10,974 --> 00:38:12,226
PHIL: Look at those good boys.
751
00:38:12,308 --> 00:38:15,437
- Who do we have here?
- PHIL: Lorraine’s just had a blow dry.
752
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,488
DAN: Wow, er, Fluffy on the right
753
00:38:17,564 --> 00:38:18,986
looks kind of terrifying.
754
00:38:19,065 --> 00:38:21,818
- Beautiful on the inside.
- Don't think I'd put my foot near that.
755
00:38:21,901 --> 00:38:25,622
I feel like Sherlock at the top
looks like Benedict Cumberbatch.
756
00:38:25,697 --> 00:38:27,199
- Is that just me?
- Yeah.
757
00:38:28,283 --> 00:38:32,004
So what I'd like everyone to do is
put your hand out in front of you.
758
00:38:32,078 --> 00:38:34,331
Don't tickle the person
in front of you, that would be weird.
759
00:38:34,414 --> 00:38:38,965
This is not a 4D experience, okay?
Keep your hands to yourselves.
760
00:38:39,043 --> 00:38:41,762
PHIL: And point
to your favourite orange dog.
761
00:38:42,088 --> 00:38:43,840
DAN: Right, but,
oh, this is very important.
762
00:38:43,923 --> 00:38:45,345
PHIL: Yeah.
DAN: This whole time,
763
00:38:45,425 --> 00:38:47,848
-do not say anything out loud.
- PHIL: No.
764
00:38:47,927 --> 00:38:49,929
DAN: This is your personal decision.
765
00:38:50,013 --> 00:38:53,062
Your journey, do not let anyone
here influence you.
766
00:38:53,141 --> 00:38:55,985
PHIL: No, so from your favourite
orange dog, I want you to move
767
00:38:56,060 --> 00:38:59,109
your finger up or down
to the first blue dog
768
00:38:59,188 --> 00:39:01,361
-that you reach.
- Up or down to the first blue one.
769
00:39:01,441 --> 00:39:04,786
Yeah, and from there,
let's go left or right
770
00:39:04,861 --> 00:39:06,704
to the first orange dog that you reach.
771
00:39:06,779 --> 00:39:08,656
DAN: Left or right to the first orange.
772
00:39:08,740 --> 00:39:10,993
PHIL: And from there,
let's go diagonally
773
00:39:11,075 --> 00:39:13,248
to the first blue dog
that you reach.
774
00:39:13,328 --> 00:39:14,955
DAN: Diagonal in any direction.
775
00:39:15,038 --> 00:39:16,631
Yeah, the first blue one.
776
00:39:16,706 --> 00:39:20,381
PHIL: And from there, go up or down
to the first orange dog that you reach.
777
00:39:20,460 --> 00:39:22,508
DAN: Up or down to orange.
PHIL: Yeah.
778
00:39:22,587 --> 00:39:26,808
- So, you all started on a random dog.
- You have all made your own decisions.
779
00:39:26,883 --> 00:39:30,638
But as Susan, you have chosen Gary.
780
00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:33,519
-(ALL CHEERING)
- DAN: All right!
781
00:39:33,598 --> 00:39:35,396
- Let's see, aw... (LAUGHS).
- DAN: What a good boy.
782
00:39:35,475 --> 00:39:37,603
- Good decision, Susan.
- Yeah.
783
00:39:37,685 --> 00:39:39,278
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
784
00:39:39,354 --> 00:39:42,278
Did anybody here not get Gary?
785
00:39:42,565 --> 00:39:44,784
BOTH: Okay, a few people, right.
786
00:39:44,859 --> 00:39:45,906
You did it wrong.
787
00:39:45,985 --> 00:39:49,580
Er, (LAUGHS) no, it's fine, it's fine.
788
00:39:49,656 --> 00:39:52,409
It just means you aren't part
of Susan yet.
789
00:39:52,492 --> 00:39:55,336
- No.
- But you can be if you believe.
790
00:39:55,411 --> 00:39:58,506
- You just need to get in Susan.
- Yes.
791
00:39:58,581 --> 00:39:59,878
That didn't sound right.
792
00:39:59,958 --> 00:40:03,713
- Join in with Susan.
- You just need to join in with Susan.
793
00:40:03,795 --> 00:40:04,921
- Yeah.
- That's better.
794
00:40:05,004 --> 00:40:07,348
We'll get those stragglers
further into Susan.
795
00:40:07,423 --> 00:40:09,892
And we'll do that by
syncing you up again.
796
00:40:09,968 --> 00:40:11,060
Okay, okay.
797
00:40:11,135 --> 00:40:13,058
So, this is going to
be super satisfying.
798
00:40:13,137 --> 00:40:16,311
After the count of three,
I would like everyone to clap once
799
00:40:16,391 --> 00:40:17,688
at the same time.
800
00:40:17,767 --> 00:40:19,735
-(AUDIENCE MEMBER CLAPS)
- Who just clapped?
801
00:40:19,811 --> 00:40:21,688
- Ready.
- I said after three.
802
00:40:21,771 --> 00:40:25,696
Are you applauding people
for clapping at the wrong time?
803
00:40:25,775 --> 00:40:27,448
Bad Susan.
804
00:40:27,527 --> 00:40:30,656
DAN: Susan, stop.
PHIL: Susan, stay.
805
00:40:30,738 --> 00:40:32,331
Susan, sit.
806
00:40:32,407 --> 00:40:33,704
Stay.
807
00:40:33,783 --> 00:40:36,457
Beg, sorry, that got weird.
That got really weird fast.
808
00:40:36,536 --> 00:40:38,538
Okay, look.
809
00:40:38,621 --> 00:40:40,919
This is gonna be so satisfying
if we get it right.
810
00:40:40,999 --> 00:40:44,299
Here we go, three, two, one.
811
00:40:44,836 --> 00:40:46,179
BOTH: Ooh!
812
00:40:46,254 --> 00:40:48,256
DAN: Ooh, that was good.
PHIL: I like that.
813
00:40:48,339 --> 00:40:50,057
No, I think this could be even better.
814
00:40:50,133 --> 00:40:54,889
We could do some serious
community ASMR if we get this right.
815
00:40:54,971 --> 00:40:57,224
- Yeah.
- Here we go.
816
00:40:57,306 --> 00:40:59,980
Three, two, one.
817
00:41:00,059 --> 00:41:01,402
BOTH: Yes!
818
00:41:01,602 --> 00:41:03,354
Wow. (CHUCKLES)
819
00:41:03,438 --> 00:41:06,658
I feel like we probably just caused
a natural disaster somewhere
820
00:41:06,733 --> 00:41:08,952
on Earth by doing that,
but it was totally worth it.
821
00:41:09,027 --> 00:41:10,825
I think we just broke the sound barrier.
822
00:41:10,903 --> 00:41:13,031
Oh, for God's sake. Really?
823
00:41:13,114 --> 00:41:15,583
Boo, boo.
824
00:41:15,658 --> 00:41:16,659
- Don't encourage him.
- Right.
825
00:41:17,201 --> 00:41:19,920
Well, now everyone
is officially part of Susan.
826
00:41:20,079 --> 00:41:21,547
- Yes.
- We can move on
827
00:41:21,622 --> 00:41:23,044
to the second experiment.
828
00:41:23,124 --> 00:41:25,798
Which involves something
I found under Dan's bed.
829
00:41:28,212 --> 00:41:30,761
What is with the judgment in this room?
830
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,842
What do you people think I get up to?
831
00:41:32,925 --> 00:41:35,895
Oh, I was doing some
innocent spring cleaning.
832
00:41:35,970 --> 00:41:39,065
That is a lie, okay?
Phil has never cleaned anything
833
00:41:39,140 --> 00:41:40,562
-in his entire life.
- I have.
834
00:41:40,641 --> 00:41:42,643
I saw something shining under Dan's bed.
835
00:41:42,727 --> 00:41:45,321
And it was so weird,
I had to bring it to show you guys.
836
00:41:45,354 --> 00:41:48,654
Okay, this is the point
where I remind all of you
837
00:41:48,691 --> 00:41:55,165
that Interactive Introverts is an
inclusive, zero-shaming environment,
838
00:41:55,198 --> 00:41:56,495
Okay?
839
00:41:56,532 --> 00:41:58,000
- We are here to be supportive.
- Dan.
840
00:41:58,076 --> 00:42:00,499
- Not to judge each other.
- What the hell is this?
841
00:42:01,245 --> 00:42:03,418
DAN: That is my secret box.
842
00:42:03,498 --> 00:42:04,875
It's so heavy.
843
00:42:04,999 --> 00:42:07,093
It's got a big lock on the front,
so I couldn't open it.
844
00:42:07,168 --> 00:42:08,920
Obviously, it's my secret box.
845
00:42:09,003 --> 00:42:10,220
Right, well, you hold on to this.
846
00:42:10,338 --> 00:42:12,591
- Right, thank you.
- Because I think... You got it?
847
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:16,185
I think now everyone
in Susan is thinking the same.
848
00:42:16,219 --> 00:42:18,347
Whoever we choose in the audience,
849
00:42:18,429 --> 00:42:21,899
is going to be able
to guess what is inside this weird box.
850
00:42:22,016 --> 00:42:26,692
(CHUCKLES) Okay. No, Phil,
our audience, they know us pretty well.
851
00:42:26,729 --> 00:42:30,108
They don't know what I would
be keeping in a box under my bed
852
00:42:30,191 --> 00:42:31,909
-that would be weird.
- No, I think they would,
853
00:42:32,026 --> 00:42:33,949
and I can prove it using...
854
00:42:34,028 --> 00:42:36,030
I'm sorry for what's about to happen.
855
00:42:36,114 --> 00:42:39,914
I feel like this whole thing
was an excuse for Phil to do this.
856
00:42:40,034 --> 00:42:42,753
The mystery balls of selection.
857
00:42:42,870 --> 00:42:47,376
DAN: Wow, look at that, everybody,
Phil has three balls.
858
00:42:47,458 --> 00:42:51,429
I do, so I am gonna start
some music playing.
859
00:42:51,546 --> 00:42:54,049
Then I'm gonna launch
these balls into the audience.
860
00:42:54,132 --> 00:42:56,305
-(GASPS)
- I want you to throw them about,
861
00:42:56,384 --> 00:42:58,386
-bat them around.
- Throw them across the room?
862
00:42:58,427 --> 00:42:59,553
Get them in the sky.
863
00:42:59,637 --> 00:43:01,480
Yeah, but when the music stops,
864
00:43:01,556 --> 00:43:03,399
whoever's got a ball,
if you don't want it,
865
00:43:03,432 --> 00:43:04,649
just throw it to someone else.
866
00:43:04,725 --> 00:43:07,729
I'd like you to stand up
and I'm gonna individually ask you
867
00:43:07,812 --> 00:43:09,985
what you think
is inside Dan's weird box.
868
00:43:10,064 --> 00:43:14,240
What do you think I am hiding
in a locked box
869
00:43:14,277 --> 00:43:15,950
-under my bed.
- Yeah.
870
00:43:16,070 --> 00:43:17,913
- That is the question.
- It could be an animal.
871
00:43:17,989 --> 00:43:21,084
It could be an object,
it could be any size.
872
00:43:21,117 --> 00:43:23,415
It doesn't have to be something
you think would fit
873
00:43:23,494 --> 00:43:24,791
in this box apparently.
874
00:43:24,912 --> 00:43:27,586
But let's keep it something
I would say on the Amazing Phil channel.
875
00:43:27,665 --> 00:43:30,669
- Let's keep it Amazing Phil, people.
- Please.
876
00:43:30,751 --> 00:43:32,970
Let's start the music, here we go.
877
00:43:33,087 --> 00:43:35,431
- BOTH: Whoo!
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
878
00:43:35,464 --> 00:43:38,138
- Pass those balls around.
- Keep it going, keep 'em going.
879
00:43:38,259 --> 00:43:39,431
Whoo!
880
00:43:39,510 --> 00:43:41,933
Yes, okay.
881
00:43:41,971 --> 00:43:43,689
DAN: Keep going, throw the ball.
882
00:43:43,764 --> 00:43:48,486
- And...
- BOTH: Stop!
883
00:43:48,978 --> 00:43:50,525
Okay, sorry, I enjoyed that.
884
00:43:50,605 --> 00:43:53,154
Has everyone got a ball?
Can the keepers of the ball stand up?
885
00:43:53,482 --> 00:43:54,654
DAN: Ooh.
PHIL: Let's give them
886
00:43:54,775 --> 00:43:56,368
-a round of applause.
-(ALL CLAPPING)
887
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,994
Phil, I don't think anyone
wanted to be called
888
00:44:00,114 --> 00:44:01,616
a keeper of the balls tonight.
889
00:44:01,657 --> 00:44:03,375
I think they do.
890
00:44:03,451 --> 00:44:05,874
Okay, so you might need
to use your loudest voice.
891
00:44:05,953 --> 00:44:07,500
Let's go to the green ball first.
892
00:44:07,622 --> 00:44:10,796
- Hello.
- Hi, what is inside the box?
893
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,798
(GIRL SPEAKING)
894
00:44:12,877 --> 00:44:15,130
-(ALL CHEERING)
- His Speedo collection.
895
00:44:15,171 --> 00:44:18,641
My Speedo collection.
(LAUGHS) Wow.
896
00:44:18,674 --> 00:44:23,054
Wow, why am I keeping
my Speedos in a locked box?
897
00:44:23,137 --> 00:44:24,480
What do I get up to?
898
00:44:24,555 --> 00:44:27,479
- Thank you for that.
- Are they yours is the question?
899
00:44:27,558 --> 00:44:29,151
- Ooh.
- (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)
900
00:44:29,185 --> 00:44:31,688
I do not like
what is being implied here.
901
00:44:31,812 --> 00:44:33,314
-Okay.
-Okay.
902
00:44:33,356 --> 00:44:35,358
Let's move on to the next ball.
903
00:44:35,483 --> 00:44:37,827
- Hey, there.
- Which is the stripey ball.
904
00:44:37,902 --> 00:44:40,405
Hello, you have to use a loud voice.
905
00:44:40,488 --> 00:44:41,910
(GIRL SPEAKING)
906
00:44:41,989 --> 00:44:43,662
Fan fiction.
907
00:44:43,741 --> 00:44:45,493
(ALL CHEERING)
908
00:44:46,494 --> 00:44:49,998
What is so weird about
this fan fiction that I am locking it
909
00:44:50,039 --> 00:44:51,757
in a box under my bed?
910
00:44:51,832 --> 00:44:52,879
That's what I wanna know.
911
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,095
This fan fiction is so cursed,
I printed it off,
912
00:44:56,170 --> 00:44:58,593
I laminated it and I put it in this box,
913
00:44:58,673 --> 00:45:00,516
-so no one could ever see it.
- I'm scared.
914
00:45:00,549 --> 00:45:02,176
It's the Shrek fan fiction.
915
00:45:02,218 --> 00:45:04,186
- It's the Saucy Shrek Fan Fiction.
- Oh, my gosh.
916
00:45:04,220 --> 00:45:05,392
It's in here.
917
00:45:05,513 --> 00:45:07,732
Let's go to the last ball over here.
The pink ball.
918
00:45:07,848 --> 00:45:09,896
DAN: Hey.
PHIL: Hi, what is in the box?
919
00:45:10,434 --> 00:45:11,686
(GIRL SPEAKING)
920
00:45:11,769 --> 00:45:13,362
PHIL: The stolen cereal?
921
00:45:13,437 --> 00:45:16,611
That's the stolen cereal,
okay, thank you.
922
00:45:16,691 --> 00:45:20,036
The cereal that I am hiding from Phil.
923
00:45:20,069 --> 00:45:23,073
- I would still find it.
- That is the best guess.
924
00:45:23,197 --> 00:45:26,292
- I could sniff it out.
- Get the hell away from this,
925
00:45:26,367 --> 00:45:27,619
you monster.
926
00:45:27,702 --> 00:45:30,706
Okay, well, thank you,
I agree with that one.
927
00:45:30,746 --> 00:45:32,419
- That would be a good place to put it.
- Yeah.
928
00:45:32,540 --> 00:45:34,133
So let's return the balls to me.
929
00:45:34,208 --> 00:45:35,881
Okay, everybody,
throw the balls back to Phil.
930
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,213
Here we go, get them to the front.
931
00:45:38,254 --> 00:45:40,928
All right, pink ball, here we go, Phil.
932
00:45:41,048 --> 00:45:42,391
Ball number one.
933
00:45:42,466 --> 00:45:45,720
- Receive, here we go. (LAUGHS)
- Oh, my gosh.
934
00:45:45,803 --> 00:45:47,555
And ball three.
935
00:45:47,638 --> 00:45:50,391
- Here we go. Phil's got the balls.
- Hey.
936
00:45:50,474 --> 00:45:55,401
Hey, I feel like that was dangerously
close to five seconds of exercise.
937
00:45:55,479 --> 00:45:57,152
- Almost.
- Slow it down there, mister.
938
00:45:57,231 --> 00:45:59,825
The sport I would get a medal in,
ball wrangling.
939
00:46:01,736 --> 00:46:04,239
- That was pretty good.
- I literally hate this whole thing.
940
00:46:04,322 --> 00:46:06,825
Phil, remove your balls from the stage.
941
00:46:06,907 --> 00:46:10,127
So, I don't know why
you think I am keeping
942
00:46:10,244 --> 00:46:12,918
a Speedo collection, some fan fiction
943
00:46:12,997 --> 00:46:15,420
and cereal together
in a box under my bed.
944
00:46:15,499 --> 00:46:18,127
Well, Dan, I need both
your hands for this bit.
945
00:46:18,252 --> 00:46:20,926
So put the box down.
Has anyone seen a key for the box?
946
00:46:21,005 --> 00:46:24,259
It might be under your chair,
like an old rusty key
947
00:46:24,300 --> 00:46:26,769
probably smells weird,
'cause Dan owns it.
948
00:46:26,927 --> 00:46:28,929
Has anyone seen a key for the box?
949
00:46:28,971 --> 00:46:30,644
Sorry, what are we
talking about right now?
950
00:46:30,765 --> 00:46:32,358
That's your house key,
that's not the key.
951
00:46:32,433 --> 00:46:35,528
Sorry, everybody,
this isn't an Oprah moment.
952
00:46:35,603 --> 00:46:36,980
I have the key.
953
00:46:37,104 --> 00:46:38,526
- PHIL: What?
- Sorry, everybody.
954
00:46:38,606 --> 00:46:41,450
- I have the key.
- You had the key the whole time?
955
00:46:41,776 --> 00:46:44,950
Obviously, it's my secret box,
why wouldn't I have the key, Phil?
956
00:46:44,987 --> 00:46:46,955
We could've done this
in private instead of in front
957
00:46:46,989 --> 00:46:48,115
of all these guys.
958
00:46:48,157 --> 00:46:49,875
Could've done it in private,
but then you're like,
959
00:46:49,950 --> 00:46:51,623
"Oh, let's show 'em what's in your box."
960
00:46:51,660 --> 00:46:53,287
- And here we are.
- Right, give me the key.
961
00:46:54,789 --> 00:46:58,214
Ooh, this is a bit Fifty Shades of Grey,
isn't it?
962
00:46:58,334 --> 00:47:01,964
Zero-shaming environment, thank you.
963
00:47:02,004 --> 00:47:05,224
- Let's get it over with.
- Let's see what's inside the box.
964
00:47:06,300 --> 00:47:09,349
- Ooh.
- Don't "ooh," what is it?
965
00:47:09,470 --> 00:47:12,314
It's a glass jar.
966
00:47:12,390 --> 00:47:14,734
Well, that's none of the things
you said.
967
00:47:14,809 --> 00:47:17,403
Congratulations, Susan,
you got it wrong.
968
00:47:17,478 --> 00:47:19,480
But, wait, Dan,
there's something inside the jar.
969
00:47:19,522 --> 00:47:20,990
- DAN: What?
- Let's unscrew it.
970
00:47:22,024 --> 00:47:26,029
- It's a mysterious scroll.
-(LAUGHS)
971
00:47:26,153 --> 00:47:29,248
Okay, still don't see
how that's relevant.
972
00:47:29,323 --> 00:47:32,497
Well, Dan, what if the things
that Susan said are written
973
00:47:32,576 --> 00:47:33,919
on this scroll?
974
00:47:33,994 --> 00:47:38,465
Whoa, Phil, this scroll
has been inside a glass jar.
975
00:47:38,499 --> 00:47:40,297
- Yeah.
- In a locked box
976
00:47:40,334 --> 00:47:42,553
that has been here the whole time.
977
00:47:42,670 --> 00:47:45,890
And three random members of Susan
978
00:47:46,006 --> 00:47:49,852
said three extremely random things,
there is no way
979
00:47:49,969 --> 00:47:51,812
-that they could've known this.
- I believe in Susan,
980
00:47:51,846 --> 00:47:53,519
- I think we should have a look.
- So do we have...
981
00:47:53,639 --> 00:47:55,312
BOTH: The Speedo collection.
982
00:47:55,349 --> 00:47:57,522
- I hope not, to be honest.
- Here we go.
983
00:47:57,643 --> 00:48:01,193
(BOTH READING)
984
00:48:01,313 --> 00:48:03,361
DAN: Okay, that is freaky.
985
00:48:03,399 --> 00:48:05,652
Oh, my gosh, I'm quite disturbed
by that.
986
00:48:05,693 --> 00:48:08,367
They knew.
Okay, do we have the fan fiction?
987
00:48:08,404 --> 00:48:09,747
BOTH: There's no way.
988
00:48:09,864 --> 00:48:12,037
- Fan fiction!
- Okay.
989
00:48:13,325 --> 00:48:14,702
I'm kind of freaking out now.
990
00:48:14,827 --> 00:48:16,249
- Not gonna lie.
- There's no way we can get
991
00:48:16,370 --> 00:48:18,213
-the cereal in as well.
- It's hidden cereal,
992
00:48:18,247 --> 00:48:19,499
-how could anyone...
- Here we go.
993
00:48:19,540 --> 00:48:22,214
- Cereal!
- Oh, my God.
994
00:48:24,253 --> 00:48:25,721
- Er...
- Susan.
995
00:48:25,754 --> 00:48:28,553
Do you have cameras
in my bedroom or something?
996
00:48:28,674 --> 00:48:30,517
- What is that about?
- Oh, my gosh.
997
00:48:30,551 --> 00:48:32,724
Yes. Oh, you do?
998
00:48:32,761 --> 00:48:34,559
Great, the more I know.
999
00:48:34,597 --> 00:48:36,190
Well, here you go,
you guys tear this up,
1000
00:48:36,223 --> 00:48:37,770
share it between everyone.
1001
00:48:37,892 --> 00:48:41,271
Tear and share, oh, my gosh,
it's like The Walking Dead down there.
1002
00:48:41,395 --> 00:48:43,898
-(LAUGHS)
- Someone call Rick.
1003
00:48:44,398 --> 00:48:45,866
Well, I don't like that
1004
00:48:45,900 --> 00:48:48,403
that basically turned
into kink shaming Dan.
1005
00:48:48,444 --> 00:48:50,242
But fun experiment, Phil.
1006
00:48:50,362 --> 00:48:53,115
I think it was a good thing,
it showed that everyone
1007
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:56,414
in the audience is just
one blob that all thinks the same thing.
1008
00:48:56,452 --> 00:48:59,581
(LAUGHS) Okay. Phil, I think
you showed in a big group,
1009
00:48:59,705 --> 00:49:02,379
people wanna fit in,
but I don't think it's fair
1010
00:49:02,416 --> 00:49:05,761
to imply that everybody
here is just the same kind of person.
1011
00:49:05,794 --> 00:49:07,421
- Really?
- And they all think the same thing.
1012
00:49:07,546 --> 00:49:10,891
I feel like this can be the issue
with fandom sometimes.
1013
00:49:11,091 --> 00:49:14,766
Is anybody here a member of a fandom
of any variety?
1014
00:49:14,887 --> 00:49:15,979
(ALL CHEERING)
1015
00:49:16,096 --> 00:49:19,600
Say, when you have
a favourite TV show
1016
00:49:19,725 --> 00:49:22,399
or YouTuber or book,
it can be really fun
1017
00:49:22,436 --> 00:49:26,066
to join the community of people
that like whatever that thing is.
1018
00:49:26,106 --> 00:49:29,952
You get to make friends with other
people that have similar interests.
1019
00:49:29,985 --> 00:49:33,114
See all the amazing artists
out there on the Internet.
1020
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:36,083
Read all of the weird fan fiction.
1021
00:49:36,116 --> 00:49:39,791
It's all part of the fandom experience.
1022
00:49:39,912 --> 00:49:43,462
But sometimes the voice
of a fandom can be so loud
1023
00:49:43,582 --> 00:49:46,131
that if there's anybody
out there that maybe
1024
00:49:46,252 --> 00:49:48,596
prefers to think of themself
as an individual.
1025
00:49:48,629 --> 00:49:49,972
- Yeah.
- They might have their
1026
00:49:50,089 --> 00:49:52,592
own personal connection
to whatever this thing is.
1027
00:49:52,633 --> 00:49:55,261
Sometimes these people
don't get represented.
1028
00:49:55,302 --> 00:49:57,646
- Oh.
- And if we want to give the people
1029
00:49:57,763 --> 00:49:58,935
what they want,
1030
00:49:58,973 --> 00:50:02,147
I think that these guys
count just as much as anyone else.
1031
00:50:02,184 --> 00:50:05,358
But if they're all so different,
how can we know what they want?
1032
00:50:05,479 --> 00:50:09,700
Well, Phil, that's why
we decided to straight up ask you
1033
00:50:09,817 --> 00:50:11,819
in a survey.
1034
00:50:11,944 --> 00:50:16,120
That is right.
Who is ready for some statistics?
1035
00:50:16,156 --> 00:50:18,784
(ALL CHEERING LOUDLY)
1036
00:50:18,826 --> 00:50:20,669
You can't dab for statistics.
1037
00:50:20,786 --> 00:50:22,880
DAN: Yes, I can, statistics.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
1038
00:50:22,997 --> 00:50:24,544
PHIL: Wow.
1039
00:50:24,665 --> 00:50:28,386
Are you ready for some math?
Can I get a woot-woot?
1040
00:50:28,502 --> 00:50:29,799
ALL: Woot-woot.
1041
00:50:29,837 --> 00:50:31,680
DAN: Yes.
PHIL: Okay, before we start,
1042
00:50:31,714 --> 00:50:33,512
I need something from the flap.
1043
00:50:33,632 --> 00:50:37,136
Er, I personally think that
props and costumes
1044
00:50:37,177 --> 00:50:39,646
are tacky, but Phil is a tacky person.
1045
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,523
- So here we go.
- Dan, take this.
1046
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:44,189
- It's glasses and clipboards.
- Wow.
1047
00:50:44,226 --> 00:50:47,696
'Cause we all know that glasses
mean you're smart.
1048
00:50:47,813 --> 00:50:49,156
Right. guys?
1049
00:50:49,189 --> 00:50:50,657
It's a look.
1050
00:50:50,691 --> 00:50:55,822
So we asked you a series
of interesting and revealing questions
1051
00:50:55,863 --> 00:50:58,707
that will tell us how you're
all different from each other
1052
00:50:58,824 --> 00:51:00,371
and what it is that you want.
1053
00:51:00,492 --> 00:51:04,838
Yeah, we started off pretty easy
with... (READING)
1054
00:51:04,872 --> 00:51:08,092
Obviously, very relevant
to this experience.
1055
00:51:08,208 --> 00:51:09,835
Yeah, and the options were,
1056
00:51:09,877 --> 00:51:13,006
"Heck yes" and "Hell no".
1057
00:51:13,047 --> 00:51:14,344
Erm...
1058
00:51:14,381 --> 00:51:17,681
Phil wrote all of the options
for this survey obviously.
1059
00:51:17,718 --> 00:51:19,265
I just wanted them to be spicy.
1060
00:51:19,386 --> 00:51:21,889
Definitely, well, you voted.
1061
00:51:21,930 --> 00:51:23,523
Let's see what you said.
1062
00:51:24,016 --> 00:51:25,734
BOTH: Oh.
PHIL: Wait a minute.
1063
00:51:25,851 --> 00:51:27,023
This is looking quite close.
1064
00:51:27,061 --> 00:51:28,608
- That is not close.
- That is not close.
1065
00:51:28,729 --> 00:51:32,450
71% of you said yes and 29 said no.
1066
00:51:32,566 --> 00:51:35,240
You are up for it in this room tonight.
1067
00:51:35,277 --> 00:51:36,403
- You are.
- Fair enough,
1068
00:51:36,528 --> 00:51:39,077
although I feel like I have
to point out to
1069
00:51:39,114 --> 00:51:41,412
-the 29% that said no.
- Yeah.
1070
00:51:41,533 --> 00:51:43,376
By filling out this survey,
1071
00:51:43,410 --> 00:51:45,879
you have audience participated, so,
1072
00:51:45,913 --> 00:51:48,132
congratulations, you played yourself.
1073
00:51:48,248 --> 00:51:49,921
But, no, it's fine.
1074
00:51:50,042 --> 00:51:52,386
- This is a show for everybody.
- It is,
1075
00:51:52,419 --> 00:51:54,763
so this question got a little bit deep.
1076
00:51:54,797 --> 00:51:55,923
And it was...
1077
00:51:56,048 --> 00:51:57,971
(READING)
1078
00:51:58,092 --> 00:52:00,311
This is the thing, you know
a lot about us.
1079
00:52:00,427 --> 00:52:04,148
Our hobbies, interests,
a few kinks apparently,
1080
00:52:04,264 --> 00:52:06,608
but is that the real Dan and Phil?
1081
00:52:06,725 --> 00:52:09,569
Or are the Dan and Phil
you see on YouTube just
1082
00:52:09,603 --> 00:52:13,107
two characters that we act like
because it's what we think
1083
00:52:13,148 --> 00:52:15,822
-you want to see? Hmm.
- Well, the options for this one were
1084
00:52:15,943 --> 00:52:19,163
"Yes", "no", and "who are Dan and Phil?"
1085
00:52:20,322 --> 00:52:23,292
Who here would say,
"Who are Dan and Phil?"
1086
00:52:23,409 --> 00:52:25,912
- Are you kidding me?
- I had to add it in just in case.
1087
00:52:25,953 --> 00:52:28,331
I feel like Phil is ruining
the survey here.
1088
00:52:28,455 --> 00:52:29,957
Well, let's see what you said.
1089
00:52:30,082 --> 00:52:33,757
Nobody watching this would say,
"Who are Dan and Phil?"
1090
00:52:33,794 --> 00:52:36,764
24% of you said, "Who are Dan and Phil?"
1091
00:52:36,797 --> 00:52:41,473
Hold up, hold up,
a quarter of you
1092
00:52:41,593 --> 00:52:44,437
said you don't know who we are.
1093
00:52:44,471 --> 00:52:46,974
- Wow.
- Where do you think you are right now?
1094
00:52:47,099 --> 00:52:48,817
Shrek(the Musical?
1095
00:52:48,934 --> 00:52:51,028
(ALL CHEERING)
1096
00:52:51,145 --> 00:52:54,365
Well, this is a lot
saucier than I thought it would be.
1097
00:52:54,481 --> 00:52:56,483
- Let's not think about that.
- No.
1098
00:52:56,525 --> 00:52:59,153
But what about the 17% that said no?
1099
00:52:59,194 --> 00:53:00,787
Well, that's quite disturbing, Phil.
1100
00:53:00,821 --> 00:53:02,198
- Yeah.
- Why would they say that?
1101
00:53:02,322 --> 00:53:03,699
- I don't know.
- Why don't they feel like
1102
00:53:03,824 --> 00:53:04,825
they know you, Phil?
1103
00:53:04,950 --> 00:53:07,453
- They do.
- Why are you so shady, Phil Lester?
1104
00:53:07,494 --> 00:53:09,041
- I'm not.
- It's fine,
1105
00:53:09,163 --> 00:53:10,710
we'll come back to that later.
1106
00:53:10,831 --> 00:53:14,301
Okay, fine, well, the next one
had some snazzy options.
1107
00:53:14,334 --> 00:53:17,053
It was... (READING)
1108
00:53:17,171 --> 00:53:19,720
This is an interesting one,
because it tells us
1109
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:22,514
what do you actually like
about Dan and Phil.
1110
00:53:22,634 --> 00:53:24,352
- Yeah.
- What is the content
1111
00:53:24,386 --> 00:53:29,062
that you are here for,
is it the casual domestic stuff?
1112
00:53:29,183 --> 00:53:31,857
Is it the creative stuff
with the editing?
1113
00:53:31,935 --> 00:53:34,279
Let's see those options, shall we?
1114
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:40,032
So we have... (READING)
1115
00:53:40,944 --> 00:53:45,040
Obviously, a diverse set
of options for everybody,
1116
00:53:45,157 --> 00:53:48,377
but clearly there's too many
for this to just be shown
1117
00:53:48,494 --> 00:53:50,371
-in another bar graph.
- Really?
1118
00:53:50,496 --> 00:53:55,127
No, this time, the results
come in the form of
1119
00:53:55,209 --> 00:53:57,132
-a pie chart.
-(HORN BLOWING)
1120
00:53:57,211 --> 00:53:58,337
Oh.
1121
00:53:58,837 --> 00:54:01,181
Didn't see that coming, did you? Ooh.
1122
00:54:01,215 --> 00:54:04,310
- That is right.
- Dan really loves the pie chart.
1123
00:54:04,384 --> 00:54:06,136
Er, just so we're clear.
1124
00:54:06,220 --> 00:54:09,724
Most of the budget for this show
went on generating
1125
00:54:09,848 --> 00:54:12,397
that pie chart, so this has peaked now.
1126
00:54:12,476 --> 00:54:14,228
- Yeah.
- Well, what do they say, Phil?
1127
00:54:14,311 --> 00:54:17,736
Well, 40% of you, most of you, like
"Phil is not on fire".
1128
00:54:17,815 --> 00:54:19,408
DAN: (LAUGHS) Really?
1129
00:54:19,525 --> 00:54:21,527
All right, classic choice.
1130
00:54:21,568 --> 00:54:24,242
- Fair enough. What?
- But wait, wait, wait.
1131
00:54:24,321 --> 00:54:27,746
The next one is 21% of you
like "Dan and Phil Crafts"?
1132
00:54:30,911 --> 00:54:33,664
Less of you said "Day in the life"
1133
00:54:33,747 --> 00:54:35,590
than "Dan and Phil Crafts."
1134
00:54:35,666 --> 00:54:36,918
Ream]?
1135
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:40,095
(LAUGHS) Who thinks... Oh, I'm bored.
1136
00:54:40,212 --> 00:54:41,759
I wanna watch some Dan and Phil.
1137
00:54:41,839 --> 00:54:45,013
What should I load up? Square flakes.
1138
00:54:45,509 --> 00:54:47,932
Really? I doubt that somehow.
1139
00:54:48,011 --> 00:54:50,605
I think they were the ones
cheering for Satan earlier.
1140
00:54:50,722 --> 00:54:53,851
That would explain it actually,
I regret learning that.
1141
00:54:53,934 --> 00:54:55,936
Well, the next question
was pretty interesting.
1142
00:54:56,019 --> 00:54:57,441
Controversial perhaps.
1143
00:54:57,563 --> 00:54:59,611
(READING)
1144
00:54:59,731 --> 00:55:00,948
And what were the options?
1145
00:55:01,066 --> 00:55:04,036
What Dan and Phil want
or what the people want.
1146
00:55:04,111 --> 00:55:07,115
This is about our relationship.
1147
00:55:07,197 --> 00:55:10,292
Should we just be free spirits
doing as we please?
1148
00:55:10,409 --> 00:55:14,459
Artists pursuing our vision
and not caring what anyone says?
1149
00:55:14,538 --> 00:55:18,759
Or should we be making
what you, our beloved audience,
1150
00:55:18,792 --> 00:55:20,465
say you want from us?
1151
00:55:20,586 --> 00:55:22,634
- Ooh. All right.
- Let's see.
1152
00:55:24,214 --> 00:55:26,262
- Oh, it's close.
- Wait a minute.
1153
00:55:26,300 --> 00:55:28,894
Whoa!
1154
00:55:28,969 --> 00:55:32,314
- That's nice.
-53% said "what Dan and Phil want"
1155
00:55:32,389 --> 00:55:34,312
and 47% said "what the people want."
1156
00:55:34,391 --> 00:55:38,146
Oh, that is very divided,
clearly, we are all very different.
1157
00:55:38,228 --> 00:55:40,322
- In this room tonight.
- Yeah.
1158
00:55:40,439 --> 00:55:42,908
But that is not the end of the survey.
1159
00:55:42,983 --> 00:55:46,408
No, there was one final question.
1160
00:55:46,486 --> 00:55:49,956
The ultimate question, really,
that we could've asked you.
1161
00:55:49,990 --> 00:55:51,833
We asked you.
1162
00:55:51,992 --> 00:55:53,915
Dan or Phil.
1163
00:55:53,994 --> 00:55:55,837
That is right.
1164
00:55:56,580 --> 00:56:00,585
We asked you to choose between us.
1165
00:56:00,667 --> 00:56:04,137
And I bet right now you're thinking,
"What? No, that's not fair.
1166
00:56:04,171 --> 00:56:05,798
"I don't wanna do that."
Well, guess what,
1167
00:56:05,839 --> 00:56:07,967
life is full of uncomfortable decisions.
1168
00:56:08,008 --> 00:56:10,636
And sometimes, you just
have to deal with it.
1169
00:56:10,677 --> 00:56:12,679
And we didn’t just ask you, Dan or Phil.
1170
00:56:12,763 --> 00:56:15,607
Oh, no, that would've been too simple.
1171
00:56:15,682 --> 00:56:19,186
We asked, "Who you would
rather sacrifice?"
1172
00:56:19,311 --> 00:56:22,315
And this is the thing,
I bet you thought,
1173
00:56:22,356 --> 00:56:27,487
no one's actually gonna get
sacrificed, this is just a silly survey
1174
00:56:27,527 --> 00:56:31,532
in a stage show, I can say
whatever I want about Dan and Phil.
1175
00:56:31,615 --> 00:56:33,458
There's no consequences.
1176
00:56:33,533 --> 00:56:35,456
- Right?
- Well, tonight, your actions
1177
00:56:35,535 --> 00:56:38,379
do have consequences,
as whoever you chose
1178
00:56:38,497 --> 00:56:43,298
is gonna be put in
mortal danger right now.
1179
00:56:43,835 --> 00:56:46,509
BOTH: Reveal the wheel!
1180
00:56:47,214 --> 00:56:49,137
(AUDIENCE CHEERING LOUDLY)
1181
00:56:51,385 --> 00:56:53,058
Oh. yes!
1182
00:56:53,136 --> 00:56:55,889
You thought our lives were a game?
1183
00:56:56,014 --> 00:56:58,233
Well, guess what, game over.
1184
00:56:58,350 --> 00:57:00,728
After the break, whoever you chose
1185
00:57:00,852 --> 00:57:03,571
is gonna be strapped
to this wheel of death.
1186
00:57:03,647 --> 00:57:08,244
DAN: And whether they live or die
will be on your hands.
1187
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:11,330
So don't feel bad about
your decision or anything.
1188
00:57:11,405 --> 00:57:13,328
Enjoy that on your conscience.
1189
00:57:15,909 --> 00:57:18,207
(ALL CHEERING)
1190
00:57:30,841 --> 00:57:32,093
(IN DISTINCT CHATTER)
1191
00:57:38,015 --> 00:57:40,609
(ALL CHEERING)
1192
00:57:40,684 --> 00:57:44,439
DAN: Oh, my God!
1193
00:57:44,563 --> 00:57:47,737
I can't believe you've done this to me!
1194
00:57:48,442 --> 00:57:52,743
Oh, I know, I'd sacrifice Dan.
1195
00:57:52,779 --> 00:57:57,455
It's not like he's gonna be strapped
to a frickin' wheel or anything.
1196
00:57:57,951 --> 00:58:01,296
Oh, I'm glad that this is amusing you,
right now.
1197
00:58:01,413 --> 00:58:04,633
Are you having fun?
That's what counts, right?
1198
00:58:08,462 --> 00:58:09,930
Oh, God.
1199
00:58:11,590 --> 00:58:14,139
PHIL: Oh, hey, guys.
1200
00:58:14,968 --> 00:58:16,311
Oh, hi, Phil.
1201
00:58:16,386 --> 00:58:18,730
Hey, how are you doing up there, Dan?
1202
00:58:18,805 --> 00:58:22,901
How am I doing up here?
Oh, I'm great, thanks for asking.
1203
00:58:22,976 --> 00:58:24,228
Thanks for picking him.
1204
00:58:24,311 --> 00:58:27,315
- Yeah, thank you.
- So to prove this isn't a game,
1205
00:58:27,397 --> 00:58:30,992
I have donned my very best
serial killer outfit.
1206
00:58:31,485 --> 00:58:34,785
You look like you're about
to clean up a murder scene.
1207
00:58:34,821 --> 00:58:36,823
I might be about to clean up
a murder scene.
1208
00:58:36,907 --> 00:58:40,912
As to prove this isn't a game
and your actions have consequences.
1209
00:58:40,994 --> 00:58:45,670
I'm gonna be firing a sequence
of increasingly dangerous projectiles
1210
00:58:45,749 --> 00:58:47,672
at Dan.
1211
00:58:47,793 --> 00:58:50,467
-(ALL CHEERING)
- Why are you cheering for that,
1212
00:58:50,504 --> 00:58:52,177
you freaks?
1213
00:58:52,255 --> 00:58:58,433
This is the most dangerous thing
attempted on a stage
1214
00:58:58,512 --> 00:59:00,685
at Interactive Introverts.
1215
00:59:01,306 --> 00:59:02,933
- Fact.
- Yeah.
1216
00:59:03,016 --> 00:59:05,519
So, let's have a look
what's in my box of fun.
1217
00:59:05,602 --> 00:59:07,946
Phil, I feel like you're neglecting
to mention something
1218
00:59:08,021 --> 00:59:09,193
mildly important.
1219
00:59:09,314 --> 00:59:11,316
Yeah, I'm trying to miss Dan.
1220
00:59:11,358 --> 00:59:15,204
Phil is trying not to hit me, okay?
1221
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,197
- Important clarification.
- Yeah.
1222
00:59:17,322 --> 00:59:20,292
But if he does and I die,
1223
00:59:20,367 --> 00:59:23,120
it's your fault, because
you chose to put me here.
1224
00:59:23,203 --> 00:59:25,922
-(ALL CHEERING)
- PHIL: Okay.
1225
00:59:25,997 --> 00:59:29,718
Let us have a look at
our first projectile.
1226
00:59:30,377 --> 00:59:32,220
The slingshot.
1227
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:38,515
Made famous by Bart Simpson
and probably a caveman.
1228
00:59:38,593 --> 00:59:39,810
DAN: Totally.
1229
00:59:39,886 --> 00:59:41,888
Don't have much experience
with slingshots.
1230
00:59:41,972 --> 00:59:43,224
DAN: Yeah, believe it or not.
1231
00:59:43,306 --> 00:59:45,149
I think you just kind of
pull it back like this.
1232
00:59:45,225 --> 00:59:47,853
Wait, wait,
where are you aiming right now?
1233
00:59:47,936 --> 00:59:49,153
I'm aiming next to your leg.
1234
00:59:49,229 --> 00:59:51,948
Next to my leg because
you're pointing that directly
1235
00:59:52,023 --> 00:59:53,240
-at my face right now.
- I told you
1236
00:59:53,316 --> 00:59:54,784
I didn't have much experience.
1237
00:59:54,860 --> 00:59:57,409
I think we need a countdown
from you guys. Here we go.
1238
00:59:57,487 --> 01:00:00,661
- Three, two, one.
- Oh, God.
1239
01:00:00,740 --> 01:00:02,834
- Oh.
-(LAUGHS)
1240
01:00:02,909 --> 01:00:06,914
- That was a fail.
- Made famous by who? Bart Simpson?
1241
01:00:06,997 --> 01:00:09,216
- Let me try again, I'm trying again.
-(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
1242
01:00:09,291 --> 01:00:12,420
You know what, I think Phil's
having performance issues.
1243
01:00:12,502 --> 01:00:14,049
- I'm not having performance issues.
- He is.
1244
01:00:14,129 --> 01:00:16,803
The moment came and then
Phil just like...
1245
01:00:16,882 --> 01:00:19,635
Last try, it needs to hit the wheel.
1246
01:00:19,718 --> 01:00:21,391
- Okay
- Right, here we go.
1247
01:00:21,469 --> 01:00:23,642
- Three, two...
- Oh, my God, that's too close, Phil.
1248
01:00:23,722 --> 01:00:25,315
- Are you kidding me?
- One.
1249
01:00:26,725 --> 01:00:29,148
Okay, the slingshot's not working.
1250
01:00:29,227 --> 01:00:31,821
Oh, well, what a shame.
1251
01:00:31,897 --> 01:00:34,992
Phil didn't get to violently
injure Dan, boo-hoo.
1252
01:00:35,066 --> 01:00:37,068
- No.
-(DAN LAUGHS)
1253
01:00:37,152 --> 01:00:39,701
Oh, I'm loving... Oh, God, oh, jeez...
1254
01:00:40,113 --> 01:00:41,581
Maybe I shouldn't be making
fun of you.
1255
01:00:41,656 --> 01:00:44,785
I take it back,
I take back the laughter.
1256
01:00:44,868 --> 01:00:46,620
The bow and arrow.
1257
01:00:47,787 --> 01:00:52,293
Forget Katniss Everdeen,
this is Philmiss Spilladeen.
1258
01:00:53,001 --> 01:00:55,504
That didn't even make sense.
1259
01:00:55,879 --> 01:00:57,847
- I didn't really think so.
- That makes no sense.
1260
01:00:57,923 --> 01:00:59,800
I'm not really sure how
to use a bow and arrow.
1261
01:00:59,883 --> 01:01:01,476
Just in case you think
this is rehearsed,
1262
01:01:01,551 --> 01:01:03,929
Phil clearly has no idea
what he's doing.
1263
01:01:04,012 --> 01:01:06,231
I think you just pull it back like this.
1264
01:01:06,848 --> 01:01:09,852
-(ALL SCREAMING)
- Oh, was that scary for you
1265
01:01:09,935 --> 01:01:11,733
for two seconds? Boo-hoo.
1266
01:01:11,811 --> 01:01:14,155
But I don't think Dan's
taking this seriously,
1267
01:01:14,231 --> 01:01:16,359
I don't think you guys
are learning your lesson.
1268
01:01:16,441 --> 01:01:18,739
So I think we need to make
this a bit more dangerous.
1269
01:01:18,818 --> 01:01:20,195
What, no, no, we don't.
1270
01:01:20,278 --> 01:01:24,078
Let's get some side to side
movement in the wheel.
1271
01:01:24,157 --> 01:01:27,832
All right, Phil, I feel
very vulnerable right now.
1272
01:01:27,911 --> 01:01:31,757
- Please, don't hurt me.
- Let's do a countdown. Three, two...
1273
01:01:31,831 --> 01:01:33,458
- Phil!
- One!
1274
01:01:34,376 --> 01:01:38,176
(SCREAMING) Oh, my God!
1275
01:01:38,255 --> 01:01:39,302
I'm sorry.
1276
01:01:39,881 --> 01:01:44,887
Okay. If that was one inch lower...
1277
01:01:44,970 --> 01:01:46,017
Oh, my gosh.
1278
01:01:46,096 --> 01:01:48,144
I don't think
we'd be friends any more, Phil.
1279
01:01:48,223 --> 01:01:50,351
Also, you'd have
a much higher-pitched voice.
1280
01:01:50,725 --> 01:01:52,568
Where were you trying
to aim right there?
1281
01:01:52,644 --> 01:01:54,191
I was aiming down here.
1282
01:01:54,271 --> 01:01:58,071
Yeah, well, it looked like you were
trying to surgically remove my penis.
1283
01:01:58,149 --> 01:01:59,696
- So thank you for that.
- I wasn't.
1284
01:02:00,193 --> 01:02:02,241
Oh, I'm glad that that was fun for you.
1285
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,573
My entire life
just flashed before my eyes.
1286
01:02:04,656 --> 01:02:07,000
- Oh, my gosh.
- And I accomplished nothing.
1287
01:02:07,117 --> 01:02:08,164
Right.
1288
01:02:08,910 --> 01:02:11,163
- PHIL: The last projectile.
- Oh, God.
1289
01:02:11,913 --> 01:02:13,631
- Yeah.
- That h u rt.
1290
01:02:14,749 --> 01:02:17,172
The bazooka 3000.
1291
01:02:18,420 --> 01:02:19,467
DAN: Save me.
1292
01:02:20,630 --> 01:02:23,850
- My baby.
- Why are you stroking it?
1293
01:02:23,925 --> 01:02:27,054
Sent back from the future
just for this moment.
1294
01:02:27,178 --> 01:02:29,397
- Just to cause me pain.
- Yeah.
1295
01:02:29,472 --> 01:02:32,567
But, you know what, I still don't think
you're learning your lesson.
1296
01:02:32,642 --> 01:02:36,237
- I think we need more danger.
- No, we don't. You already hit me once.
1297
01:02:36,313 --> 01:02:39,317
I think we need
a full rotation of the wheel.
1298
01:02:39,399 --> 01:02:41,868
Stop, stop, stop. Ahhh! Ahhh!
1299
01:02:41,943 --> 01:02:44,662
- My God, Phil, please don't hit me.
- Here we go.
1300
01:02:44,738 --> 01:02:47,412
- Three, two, one!
- Oh, my God.
1301
01:02:47,532 --> 01:02:51,537
DAN: (SCREAMS)
Stop, stop, stop.
1302
01:02:51,786 --> 01:02:54,960
- You hit me twice with the same ball.
- I'm sorry.
1303
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:56,383
Are you kidding me?
1304
01:02:56,541 --> 01:02:59,590
Right, get me the hell
off this thing right now.
1305
01:02:59,669 --> 01:03:01,091
Oh, my gosh.
1306
01:03:01,171 --> 01:03:03,014
-(DAN PANTS)
- PHIL: Did I get you in the leg?
1307
01:03:03,089 --> 01:03:06,013
You got me in the leg
and almost the nipple, Phil.
1308
01:03:06,509 --> 01:03:09,809
Phil is going for the holy trinity
of testicles, nipple and knee.
1309
01:03:09,888 --> 01:03:11,561
- I'm not.
- There we go.
1310
01:03:11,639 --> 01:03:14,984
- Oh, clapping, more clapping, great.
- I'm sorry.
1311
01:03:15,185 --> 01:03:18,029
Well, actually I'm glad that
that all amused you so much.
1312
01:03:18,104 --> 01:03:21,734
But we were trying to make a very
serious point about something right now.
1313
01:03:21,816 --> 01:03:22,863
- Yeah.
- So, Phil,
1314
01:03:22,942 --> 01:03:24,740
take off your stupid murder apron
1315
01:03:24,819 --> 01:03:26,696
and tell everybody
what this is supposed to be about.
1316
01:03:26,780 --> 01:03:28,407
It was their fault, not mine.
1317
01:03:28,490 --> 01:03:31,835
Oh, it was...
They chose to put me here, you fired it.
1318
01:03:32,744 --> 01:03:34,542
- Yea h, true.
- Okay.
1319
01:03:34,621 --> 01:03:37,545
So, what I was gonna say is
1320
01:03:37,624 --> 01:03:40,468
-everything in a...
-(ALL CHEERING)
1321
01:03:40,543 --> 01:03:42,011
Ream]?
1322
01:03:42,087 --> 01:03:44,510
Dan, that's very distracting.
1323
01:03:44,589 --> 01:03:46,182
Oh, what, you're gonna cheer for me
1324
01:03:46,257 --> 01:03:48,931
getting undressed
after what you just saw happen?
1325
01:03:50,303 --> 01:03:52,772
- Wow!
- I'm just gonna stand behind this,
1326
01:03:52,847 --> 01:03:54,349
everybody look at Phil for a second.
1327
01:03:54,432 --> 01:03:56,150
- It's okay.
- Oh, my gosh.
1328
01:03:57,102 --> 01:04:00,197
Mr Spotlight, can you just
like point somewhere else right now?
1329
01:04:00,271 --> 01:04:01,864
I'm just gonna let you get undressed.
1330
01:04:01,940 --> 01:04:04,819
Everybody, stop looking at me.
1331
01:04:04,901 --> 01:04:07,324
This is a private moment right now.
1332
01:04:07,404 --> 01:04:12,752
Can I literally have one moment
of dignity in my entire freaking life?
1333
01:04:12,867 --> 01:04:14,869
There we go. Dan got undressed.
1334
01:04:14,953 --> 01:04:17,047
- Yay.
- Are ya happy?
1335
01:04:17,122 --> 01:04:20,752
Right, well, what Phil was totally
failing to explain there
1336
01:04:20,834 --> 01:04:25,340
was, now you realise that your actions
have consequences, okay?
1337
01:04:25,422 --> 01:04:27,800
Words can hurt and after that,
1338
01:04:27,882 --> 01:04:31,307
you all really regret
what just happened, don't you?
1339
01:04:32,053 --> 01:04:35,227
- PHIL: No, they don't.
- Really?
1340
01:04:35,306 --> 01:04:38,731
Well, they don't even care.
Great. Wonderful.
1341
01:04:38,852 --> 01:04:40,900
I think everything in the first half
1342
01:04:40,979 --> 01:04:44,483
was very much "Dan and Phil
against the bloodthirsty audience."
1343
01:04:44,566 --> 01:04:47,786
Yeah. Angry mob vibes.
That's what I was talking about.
1344
01:04:47,861 --> 01:04:52,537
I think maybe for the rest of the show
we should just calm the heck down a bit.
1345
01:04:52,699 --> 01:04:54,576
Maybe get a bit more personal.
1346
01:04:54,659 --> 01:04:58,129
Why don't we get
a little bit more intimate.
1347
01:04:58,496 --> 01:05:00,965
(ALL CHEERING)
1348
01:05:01,749 --> 01:05:04,502
I feel like personal was fine as a word.
1349
01:05:04,586 --> 01:05:05,803
Sure!
1350
01:05:05,879 --> 01:05:08,678
So, what did we learn
from that survey?
1351
01:05:08,756 --> 01:05:12,351
I think clearly everybody in this room
right now is very different.
1352
01:05:12,427 --> 01:05:13,804
- Yeah.
- It might be easy for you
1353
01:05:13,887 --> 01:05:15,935
to feel like you and all of your friends
1354
01:05:16,014 --> 01:05:17,857
are the same
as the rest of our followers.
1355
01:05:17,932 --> 01:05:20,401
But obviously, that's just not the case.
1356
01:05:20,477 --> 01:05:24,072
And that's what makes it so hard for us
to give you what you want
1357
01:05:24,147 --> 01:05:27,492
because apparently, you all want
completely different things.
1358
01:05:27,567 --> 01:05:29,990
Yeah, I mean, a lot of you
like audience participation.
1359
01:05:30,111 --> 01:05:31,363
Yes, indeed.
1360
01:05:31,446 --> 01:05:33,699
Quite a few of you like
Dan and Phil crafts.
1361
01:05:33,781 --> 01:05:37,001
We're not talking about that.
Trying to forget that.
1362
01:05:37,076 --> 01:05:40,751
But there was also this 17% of you
1363
01:05:40,830 --> 01:05:43,629
that said you don't feel like
you know the real Dan and Phil.
1364
01:05:43,708 --> 01:05:45,881
- No.
- So, I'll ask you again, Phil,
1365
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:47,633
-why don't they trust you?
- I don't know.
1366
01:05:47,712 --> 01:05:49,806
- What are you hiding?
- Nothing.
1367
01:05:49,881 --> 01:05:52,885
Do you want to know
a Dan and Phil conspiracy theory?
1368
01:05:52,967 --> 01:05:55,516
- What?
- By me? Okay.
1369
01:05:55,887 --> 01:05:57,230
Here we go.
1370
01:05:57,305 --> 01:06:01,230
The real Phil Lester
would still have an emo fringe.
1371
01:06:01,309 --> 01:06:05,064
This is a clone
that killed the real Phil.
1372
01:06:05,188 --> 01:06:07,611
- No.
- Where is the body?
1373
01:06:07,690 --> 01:06:12,161
I mean, you're one to talk, curly boy.
1374
01:06:13,530 --> 01:06:15,453
Oh, my God!
1375
01:06:15,532 --> 01:06:18,001
(GASPS) I'm a clone too.
1376
01:06:18,076 --> 01:06:20,670
No, seriously, is that not the case?
1377
01:06:20,745 --> 01:06:24,295
- Do they know the real Phil?
- Yeah, they know the real me.
1378
01:06:24,374 --> 01:06:28,129
I think the thing is, when you're making
a YouTube video, you're being yourself,
1379
01:06:28,211 --> 01:06:30,760
but you're also trying
to be entertaining at the same time.
1380
01:06:30,838 --> 01:06:32,556
Right. Which might not seem totally
1381
01:06:32,632 --> 01:06:34,885
relaxed and natural
but what, it's still the real you?
1382
01:06:34,968 --> 01:06:38,188
- Yeah, it's still the real me.
- I mean, I'm the real Dan,
1383
01:06:38,263 --> 01:06:40,732
stood in front of all of you,
right now. I promise.
1384
01:06:40,807 --> 01:06:43,481
It's just that
I'm trying to be interesting.
1385
01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:47,565
If I wasn't trying to be interesting,
I'd probably just be stood here like...
1386
01:06:47,981 --> 01:06:51,736
(IN MONOTONE)
Hi, guys, how are you doing today?
1387
01:06:52,318 --> 01:06:56,243
- Dan, I think you'd be on a sofa...
- Yeah, no, I would not be stood up.
1388
01:06:56,322 --> 01:06:59,201
I would be sat deeply embedded
in a sofa crease
1389
01:06:59,284 --> 01:07:01,787
-with a burning hot laptop on my crotch.
- Yeah.
1390
01:07:01,869 --> 01:07:03,792
And I would have a bowl of chips
1391
01:07:03,871 --> 01:07:07,375
under my chin and I'd be doing that
thing, you know when you're too lazy
1392
01:07:07,458 --> 01:07:09,961
to pick them up out of the bowl,
so you just try and lick them?
1393
01:07:10,044 --> 01:07:12,763
Like... (STRAINS)
1394
01:07:12,839 --> 01:07:15,638
That is what I would be doing
right now if I didn't care.
1395
01:07:15,717 --> 01:07:18,220
That's the Dan I know.
(LAUGHS)
1396
01:07:18,303 --> 01:07:20,852
I haven't always been trying
to be entertaining on YouTube.
1397
01:07:20,930 --> 01:07:23,524
- DAN: No?
- I mean, I made some pretty weird videos
1398
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:24,977
-back in the day.
- Yes.
1399
01:07:25,977 --> 01:07:30,323
Phil, he was really out there just
creatively expressing himself.
1400
01:07:30,398 --> 01:07:34,699
Who here is a fan
of Phil's 2007 content?
1401
01:07:34,777 --> 01:07:37,030
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
- PHIL: Thank you, people.
1402
01:07:37,113 --> 01:07:40,617
You say that, he deleted most of it
for a reason.
1403
01:07:40,700 --> 01:07:43,749
I mean, I made a video called
Snokoplasm...
1404
01:07:43,828 --> 01:07:50,552
Right. Phil, why don't you try and pitch
Snokoplasm to your 2018 audience
1405
01:07:50,627 --> 01:07:52,470
and see if they'd care.
1406
01:07:52,545 --> 01:07:53,967
Okay. So I went to the shop
1407
01:07:54,047 --> 01:07:56,220
and I bought lots
of different coloured shower gels
1408
01:07:56,299 --> 01:07:59,178
and then I went home,
played some spooky music,
1409
01:07:59,260 --> 01:08:02,184
took my shirt off
and rubbed them all over myself.
1410
01:08:03,348 --> 01:08:04,850
(DAN CHUCKLES)
1411
01:08:04,932 --> 01:08:07,936
But right, you were
making a point about something, right?
1412
01:08:08,019 --> 01:08:10,898
It was a deep metaphor
for recycling plastic or something.
1413
01:08:10,980 --> 01:08:14,280
No, I think I was just
rubbing shower gel on my nipples.
1414
01:08:14,359 --> 01:08:15,406
Content.
1415
01:08:17,487 --> 01:08:19,581
But what, you wouldn't
upload that now?
1416
01:08:19,656 --> 01:08:21,249
I don't think I'd upload that now,
1417
01:08:21,324 --> 01:08:23,292
'cause I'm trying
to be entertaining as well.
1418
01:08:23,368 --> 01:08:25,245
- He cares about his audience.
- I do.
1419
01:08:25,328 --> 01:08:28,753
Er, no. Well, that kind of,
reminds me of my channel.
1420
01:08:28,831 --> 01:08:33,211
I mean, ever since Danis not on fire,
died last year, rest in peace,
1421
01:08:33,294 --> 01:08:37,015
I've been on a personal quest
to try to be more authentic.
1422
01:08:37,090 --> 01:08:40,594
I think a few years ago, I just used
to think, "What's a YouTube idea
1423
01:08:40,677 --> 01:08:43,897
"that would get loads of views?"
But these days, it's more like,
1424
01:08:43,971 --> 01:08:47,851
I'm looking into my reflection,
crying at 3:00 a.m. going,
1425
01:08:47,934 --> 01:08:51,859
"How am I going
to express myself on the Internet?"
1426
01:08:51,938 --> 01:08:54,157
- Which is fun, right?
- Yeah.
1427
01:08:54,232 --> 01:08:58,578
But, what I've realised,
is not everybody is actually interested
1428
01:08:58,653 --> 01:09:00,280
-in myself.
- No.
1429
01:09:00,363 --> 01:09:04,243
It's kind of like the whole Wholesome
Howell meme that happened last year.
1430
01:09:04,325 --> 01:09:06,327
- Does anyone remember that?
- Yeah.
1431
01:09:06,411 --> 01:09:10,837
Oh, yes, 'twas a spicy meme.
In case you don't,
1432
01:09:10,915 --> 01:09:12,667
and you're like,
what's he talkin' about?
1433
01:09:12,750 --> 01:09:16,380
Basically, there was a period
of a few months, last year,
1434
01:09:16,462 --> 01:09:18,510
where some people on the Internet
1435
01:09:18,589 --> 01:09:21,843
felt that I was joking
about death too much.
1436
01:09:21,926 --> 01:09:24,429
Because personally,
when something upsets me,
1437
01:09:24,512 --> 01:09:28,233
I like to make jokes about it
to pretend that I feel okay
1438
01:09:28,307 --> 01:09:30,526
even if I don't on any level.
1439
01:09:30,601 --> 01:09:35,653
Sane, yes, thank you. Okay?
It's a perfectly valid coping mechanism.
1440
01:09:35,732 --> 01:09:38,326
So there I was,
screaming into the void.
1441
01:09:38,401 --> 01:09:42,247
A few people there were like,
"Dan, this is so depressing, shut up."
1442
01:09:42,321 --> 01:09:46,497
So I thought, hey, fair enough,
I will do something for these guys.
1443
01:09:46,576 --> 01:09:48,578
I wrapped a blanket around my head
1444
01:09:48,661 --> 01:09:52,086
and I posted a photo
with some beautiful Comic Sans
1445
01:09:52,165 --> 01:09:57,092
saying, "From this day forward,
I've decided to officially re-brand
1446
01:09:57,170 --> 01:10:01,801
"to Wholesome Howell and I promise
1447
01:10:01,883 --> 01:10:07,731
"from this day forward, I will only
be good and positive and hopeful
1448
01:10:07,805 --> 01:10:11,309
"and I will never
ever be sarcastic again."
1449
01:10:12,393 --> 01:10:13,940
And this is the thing, right?
1450
01:10:14,020 --> 01:10:15,818
Most people saw this and they were like,
1451
01:10:15,897 --> 01:10:18,491
"Coming from you, Dan, nice joke."
1452
01:10:18,566 --> 01:10:21,536
A few people though,
took it completely seriously.
1453
01:10:21,611 --> 01:10:23,454
They saw this meme and they were like,
1454
01:10:23,529 --> 01:10:29,036
"Wow, finally this is the personality
I've always wanted Dan to have."
1455
01:10:29,118 --> 01:10:33,339
Whoo! We love character development.
And this is the thing, right?
1456
01:10:33,706 --> 01:10:37,961
If there is this version of me,
that might not be who I am in real life,
1457
01:10:38,044 --> 01:10:42,390
but who some people on the Internet
might prefer me to be,
1458
01:10:42,465 --> 01:10:45,719
should I just act like that,
if it's what they'd rather see?
1459
01:10:45,802 --> 01:10:47,224
AUDIENCE: No!
1460
01:10:47,345 --> 01:10:51,020
- Okay, then. This is the whole debate.
- I mean, I had a moment like that
1461
01:10:51,098 --> 01:10:54,102
earlier this year
when I changed my hair.
1462
01:10:54,811 --> 01:11:00,739
Okay, Phil, you can’t just casually
drop that in conversation, okay.
1463
01:11:00,817 --> 01:11:02,444
- This was a big deal.
- It was.
1464
01:11:02,527 --> 01:11:09,035
Talk about globally important issues
this year, like, North Korea stuff,
1465
01:11:09,116 --> 01:11:13,417
British Royal wedding,
Phil Lester got rid of his emo fringe!
1466
01:11:13,454 --> 01:11:15,832
It was big news, people.
1467
01:11:16,916 --> 01:11:19,840
For anyone else,
getting a haircut is no big deal.
1468
01:11:19,919 --> 01:11:24,015
But for me, I'd had this emo hair
as Amazing Phil for 10 years.
1469
01:11:24,090 --> 01:11:25,592
- Ten years he did that.
- Yeah.
1470
01:11:25,633 --> 01:11:28,933
And I thought it was a crucial part
of who I was on that channel.
1471
01:11:28,970 --> 01:11:31,769
I mean, it was like,
the symbol for your identity.
1472
01:11:31,806 --> 01:11:35,606
Who's Amazing Phil? He's the guy
who still has an emo fringe.
1473
01:11:35,685 --> 01:11:36,777
It was the whole thing.
1474
01:11:36,811 --> 01:11:39,280
Yeah. So even though
I really wanted to get a haircut,
1475
01:11:39,355 --> 01:11:41,107
and change it up, I didn't do it.
1476
01:11:41,148 --> 01:11:43,651
'Cause I thought that's what
the people didn't want me to do.
1477
01:11:43,776 --> 01:11:47,952
I mean, you were genuinely afraid
that if you changed your hairstyle,
1478
01:11:47,989 --> 01:11:50,208
-everyone would just abandon you.
- Yeah.
1479
01:11:50,324 --> 01:11:55,956
But then, Phil, you changed your hair
and here they still are.
1480
01:11:55,997 --> 01:11:58,125
(ALL CHEERING)
1481
01:11:59,208 --> 01:12:04,135
Well, it was either that or it was
too late for you all to get refunds
1482
01:12:04,171 --> 01:12:06,173
and you just decided to show up anyway.
1483
01:12:06,299 --> 01:12:08,472
- We'll never know which it was.
- No.
1484
01:12:08,509 --> 01:12:11,137
But something that was very unlike Phil,
1485
01:12:11,178 --> 01:12:14,899
but all of you seemed to love,
was that time on my YouTube channel
1486
01:12:14,974 --> 01:12:17,818
the other month,
when he dropped an F-bomb.
1487
01:12:17,894 --> 01:12:20,864
- Remember that? Exactly.
-(ALL CHEERING)
1488
01:12:20,980 --> 01:12:26,157
And guess what?just for you guys,
Phil is gonna do it again right now.
1489
01:12:26,235 --> 01:12:27,487
Go, Phil.
1490
01:12:29,155 --> 01:12:33,205
That was very liberating,
but it was a one-time only thing
1491
01:12:33,326 --> 01:12:35,078
on Dan's channel. I don't think
1492
01:12:35,161 --> 01:12:37,505
I'm gonna start F-ing
on Amazing Phil every week.
1493
01:12:37,580 --> 01:12:40,174
- You'd better not.
- You know what I mean.
1494
01:12:40,249 --> 01:12:42,877
Do we?
That would get demonetised, people.
1495
01:12:42,960 --> 01:12:44,007
It would.
1496
01:12:44,503 --> 01:12:46,346
But look, if there are these
opposite side of us
1497
01:12:46,380 --> 01:12:48,929
that some of you
enjoy the idea of so much,
1498
01:12:49,008 --> 01:12:52,012
who are we
to deny you a bit of fun?
1499
01:12:52,428 --> 01:12:58,026
So, I say we should try out some
role-reversal on stage this evening.
1500
01:13:00,186 --> 01:13:03,030
So, for the purpose of this role-play,
1501
01:13:03,064 --> 01:13:04,907
let's say I represent everything that's
1502
01:13:05,024 --> 01:13:07,618
nice and sweet
and wholesome in the world.
1503
01:13:07,693 --> 01:13:10,196
Sure. Let's all imagine that.
1504
01:13:11,697 --> 01:13:13,199
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1505
01:13:14,450 --> 01:13:19,081
To be clear, that is actually
how Phil sees himself. Okay?
1506
01:13:19,288 --> 01:13:23,759
- And Dan is evil.
- Yeah, sure, I'm evil.
1507
01:13:23,876 --> 01:13:26,629
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
1508
01:13:26,712 --> 01:13:30,433
Firstly, can I just say I feel like
I'm really working that lipstick?
1509
01:13:30,549 --> 01:13:32,096
I don't know about you guys.
1510
01:13:32,218 --> 01:13:33,891
What're you saying here, Phil?
1511
01:13:33,928 --> 01:13:37,307
What, you're good and I'm evil?
Are we saying that
1512
01:13:37,390 --> 01:13:39,734
rock music and the colour red
are evil things?
1513
01:13:39,809 --> 01:13:41,561
This all seems a bit reductive
if you ask me.
1514
01:13:41,644 --> 01:13:42,941
No one cares, Dan.
1515
01:13:43,062 --> 01:13:46,282
But, what would happen
if we switched places?
1516
01:13:46,399 --> 01:13:50,905
- Sure.
- So, Dan became Wholesome Howell.
1517
01:13:50,987 --> 01:13:52,330
Let's imagine it.
1518
01:13:54,991 --> 01:13:59,337
- Ah, that just seems right.
- And I became...
1519
01:13:59,412 --> 01:14:05,260
- What is the bad version of Phil called?
- X-rated Lester.
1520
01:14:05,584 --> 01:14:07,336
-(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1521
01:14:09,755 --> 01:14:12,850
For the record, I hate that. Okay?
1522
01:14:12,925 --> 01:14:15,428
I really wish
he'd said literally anything else.
1523
01:14:15,511 --> 01:14:18,185
Ooh. I already feel more dirty.
1524
01:14:18,764 --> 01:14:21,984
So, the way this works is we asked you
1525
01:14:22,101 --> 01:14:26,447
to give us examples
of good things and bad things.
1526
01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:30,951
And we will now try and convince you
that they are the opposite.
1527
01:14:30,985 --> 01:14:32,953
If we suck at this, then clearly,
1528
01:14:33,029 --> 01:14:35,782
we already have the personalities
that we're meant to.
1529
01:14:35,823 --> 01:14:40,044
But if we're amazing, then maybe
we should embrace these opposite sides
1530
01:14:40,119 --> 01:14:41,962
-of ourselves a bit more.
- But the catch is
1531
01:14:42,038 --> 01:14:43,130
we don't know what you guys
1532
01:14:43,164 --> 01:14:45,462
have submitted
and we've got to make it up on the spot.
1533
01:14:45,499 --> 01:14:50,300
So this will probably
be an offensive disaster. All right.
1534
01:14:52,214 --> 01:14:55,809
- So Dan is gonna go first.
- I'm channelling Sister Daniel.
1535
01:14:56,886 --> 01:14:58,854
My children, you are blessed.
1536
01:14:59,972 --> 01:15:01,565
Dan is gonna be given something bad
1537
01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:03,688
and he's gotta convince us
that it's a good thing.
1538
01:15:03,809 --> 01:15:06,358
I don't know
what's about to appear behind me,
1539
01:15:06,479 --> 01:15:08,652
but whatever it is, it's a good thing.
1540
01:15:08,689 --> 01:15:12,364
Okay. Dan, your first one
comes from Bella,
1541
01:15:12,485 --> 01:15:15,910
-who says, "Wet socks."
- Yeah. I'm ready.
1542
01:15:15,988 --> 01:15:17,581
- What?
- Go.
1543
01:15:17,656 --> 01:15:20,660
You want me to convince you that
wet socks are a good thing?
1544
01:15:20,701 --> 01:15:22,374
- Yeah.
- All right.
1545
01:15:22,495 --> 01:15:26,341
Look, maybe, it would actually be
a quite convenient thing to happen.
1546
01:15:26,373 --> 01:15:28,546
When you step out of a shower,
you got a sock on and it goes...
1547
01:15:28,667 --> 01:15:29,668
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
1548
01:15:29,752 --> 01:15:32,722
...and it soaks it up, hey,
that is not a wasted sock.
1549
01:15:32,838 --> 01:15:35,512
This is an opportunity
to be convenient.
1550
01:15:35,549 --> 01:15:36,926
You got some dying houseplants,
1551
01:15:37,009 --> 01:15:41,105
just walk up to them and you kick that
cactus and there we go, it's hydrated.
1552
01:15:41,180 --> 01:15:44,775
You've got a messy kitchen floor,
you just walk in with your wet sock
1553
01:15:44,850 --> 01:15:47,023
and you just do a little jig,
there we go, polished.
1554
01:15:47,103 --> 01:15:49,401
- Okay, okay.
- You have a friend who's looking there.
1555
01:15:49,522 --> 01:15:51,399
That friend isn't drinking enough water,
1556
01:15:51,524 --> 01:15:54,698
you just stick your foot in your mouth,
you go, "Suck on this, here we go."
1557
01:15:54,735 --> 01:15:57,033
- Stop.
- Saving lives.
1558
01:15:58,030 --> 01:16:00,124
-(BUZZER RINGS)
- That is not a thing.
1559
01:16:00,199 --> 01:16:03,123
Some of them cheered for that. Okay?
I'm just saying.
1560
01:16:04,453 --> 01:16:08,083
Do not suggest your friend should
suck on your wet socks ever again.
1561
01:16:08,207 --> 01:16:10,801
It's a good idea.
We need to stop the shame here.
1562
01:16:10,876 --> 01:16:11,968
- Okay.
- Right, Phil.
1563
01:16:12,044 --> 01:16:14,217
Wait, I need to get into the evil zone.
1564
01:16:14,713 --> 01:16:16,215
Yeah.
1565
01:16:16,257 --> 01:16:17,725
(ALL CHEERING)
1566
01:16:18,134 --> 01:16:21,138
- What was that, an evil squat?
- Yes, it was.
1567
01:16:21,220 --> 01:16:24,645
That counts as exercise.
Phil, you are going to be given
1568
01:16:24,723 --> 01:16:29,570
a good thing. You have to convince
all of us it is actually bad.
1569
01:16:29,645 --> 01:16:31,443
- Okay.
- Your first one
1570
01:16:31,564 --> 01:16:33,783
comes from Malia
1571
01:16:33,899 --> 01:16:38,405
who said, flower crowns.
Why are they bad, Phil?
1572
01:16:38,571 --> 01:16:40,073
- Go!
- Ooh, okay.
1573
01:16:40,156 --> 01:16:42,284
- Flower crowns could be the worst.
- Why?
1574
01:16:42,408 --> 01:16:44,285
What if your friend is wearing one,
and you're like,
1575
01:16:44,410 --> 01:16:47,914
"It's made out of real flowers."
So you lean over for a sniff.
1576
01:16:47,955 --> 01:16:50,458
You give it a big old sniff on your nose
1577
01:16:50,583 --> 01:16:53,427
and then you feel
a buzzing in your nose
1578
01:16:53,502 --> 01:16:55,254
because you've inhaled a bee.
1579
01:16:55,296 --> 01:16:58,140
And then it starts crawling
into your brain
1580
01:16:58,257 --> 01:17:01,306
and then it stings you on the brain
and you die.
1581
01:17:01,677 --> 01:17:04,146
Wow! Okay, are we giving him that?
1582
01:17:04,263 --> 01:17:08,439
Really? Okay, fine.
Take it, there you go.
1583
01:17:08,475 --> 01:17:12,446
- Yay.
- Phil, that was quite traumatising.
1584
01:17:12,479 --> 01:17:16,734
Okay. Right. I'm ready for my next one.
Here we go.
1585
01:17:16,775 --> 01:17:19,949
Dan, your next one comes from Milo.
1586
01:17:21,071 --> 01:17:25,793
What? Milo? Milo, what did you say?
1587
01:17:26,785 --> 01:17:30,255
Killing your best friend. Go!
1588
01:17:31,457 --> 01:17:34,802
Okay, you know what?
There are some situations
1589
01:17:34,919 --> 01:17:37,798
where killing your best friend
is the totally appropriate thing to do.
1590
01:17:37,922 --> 01:17:38,969
- Okay?
"Really?
1591
01:17:39,006 --> 01:17:41,475
Like, when they steal your cereal.
1592
01:17:42,760 --> 01:17:44,512
I know, you're all thinking, aw,
1593
01:17:44,637 --> 01:17:48,437
this cereal stealing,
this isn't serious. They joke about it.
1594
01:17:48,474 --> 01:17:51,193
No, this is deadly serious, okay.
1595
01:17:51,310 --> 01:17:56,532
Imagine me. It's the morning. I'm tired,
I'm hungry, I go downstairs,
1596
01:17:56,649 --> 01:17:59,528
I'm excited for a bowl of cereal.
I open the cupboard.
1597
01:17:59,652 --> 01:18:03,657
I see a five-kilogram family box
of cereal.
1598
01:18:03,697 --> 01:18:05,699
There's no way
it could be empty, right?
1599
01:18:05,824 --> 01:18:09,328
But then I take it out, I shake it.
What comes out of the box?
1600
01:18:09,370 --> 01:18:11,293
(BLOWS) Dust.
1601
01:18:11,330 --> 01:18:15,676
Not only is Phil the kind of person
that steals your cereal,
1602
01:18:15,709 --> 01:18:17,006
he is the kind of person
1603
01:18:17,127 --> 01:18:21,553
that eats your food and puts
the empty box back in the cupboard.
1604
01:18:21,966 --> 01:18:26,847
And in situations like that,
it is entirely appropriate
1605
01:18:26,887 --> 01:18:29,185
-to just murder that friend.
- Oh, my God.
1606
01:18:29,223 --> 01:18:31,191
- Am I right everybody? Thank you.
- You agree?
1607
01:18:32,059 --> 01:18:35,233
Okay. Look, Dan...
1608
01:18:38,524 --> 01:18:40,026
(ALL SCREAMING)
1609
01:18:42,152 --> 01:18:44,746
I'm calm, I'm calm, everything's fine.
1610
01:18:44,863 --> 01:18:48,584
As my grandma would say,
"I'm a growing boy."
1611
01:18:49,368 --> 01:18:52,872
Better not be. Phil will be
9'12" next time you see him.
1612
01:18:52,997 --> 01:18:56,217
Just so we're clear,
when I inevitably go to court
1613
01:18:56,250 --> 01:18:58,548
for murdering Phil,
you are now all witnesses.
1614
01:18:58,585 --> 01:19:01,885
- Right! Phil...
- I don't think I sound evil enough.
1615
01:19:01,922 --> 01:19:04,550
- Yes.
-(IN DEEP VOICE) Yeah.
1616
01:19:07,386 --> 01:19:10,856
That went directly into my ear, people.
1617
01:19:10,889 --> 01:19:13,438
That was not the ASMR
that anybody here asked for.
1618
01:19:13,559 --> 01:19:17,280
- Yeah it was. You loved it.
- Phil, your next one
1619
01:19:18,355 --> 01:19:21,529
comes from Tegan. There is no way
1620
01:19:21,692 --> 01:19:24,195
that this could possibly
be a bad thing, Phil.
1621
01:19:24,236 --> 01:19:28,241
- What?
- Free Wi-Fi. Go!
1622
01:19:28,365 --> 01:19:31,289
- Okay, so you think free Wi-Fi is good?
- Yes.
1623
01:19:31,410 --> 01:19:36,211
Well, that means everyone in the FBI
can see everything you're doing.
1624
01:19:36,373 --> 01:19:39,092
So, they're just watching
through your webcam
1625
01:19:39,209 --> 01:19:43,259
as you have a look on Wattpad
and open that incognito tab
1626
01:19:43,297 --> 01:19:47,803
and write that fan fiction. They've read
it all, and they've seen everything.
1627
01:19:47,926 --> 01:19:51,772
I feel very attacked
and scared right now. Do you, too?
1628
01:19:51,805 --> 01:19:55,150
All right, then. You can have it, Phil.
You can have it.
1629
01:19:55,267 --> 01:19:57,110
Whoo! Yee!
1630
01:19:58,062 --> 01:19:59,234
- Did you just "yee"?
- Yee.
1631
01:19:59,271 --> 01:20:02,400
- Phil "yeed" with happiness.
- I did. I did a "yee."
1632
01:20:02,775 --> 01:20:05,324
- Are you a fan of "yee" here?
- Yeah?
1633
01:20:05,444 --> 01:20:06,787
Good one isn't it?
1634
01:20:06,904 --> 01:20:09,953
Okay, okay. Should we give them
the official test?
1635
01:20:10,074 --> 01:20:11,917
- Yes.
- Here we go.
1636
01:20:11,950 --> 01:20:13,293
(CLEARS THROAT)
1637
01:20:13,410 --> 01:20:16,755
(BOTH HUM TUNE)
1638
01:20:19,625 --> 01:20:20,922
AUDIENCE: Yee!
1639
01:20:22,127 --> 01:20:23,800
- PHIL: Wow.
- Okay.
1640
01:20:24,296 --> 01:20:26,264
I love a good communal "yee."
1641
01:20:26,298 --> 01:20:28,300
In an evening where bees
sting your brain
1642
01:20:28,425 --> 01:20:30,769
and people die on furry rave toilets,
1643
01:20:30,803 --> 01:20:33,181
that was the weirdest thing
that's happened here tonight.
1644
01:20:33,305 --> 01:20:35,774
- It was. Yeah.
- I hope you're aware of that?
1645
01:20:35,808 --> 01:20:36,980
Okay, right. Get off.
1646
01:20:37,017 --> 01:20:38,985
Do you know sometimes
I do a little sexy dance
1647
01:20:39,103 --> 01:20:40,855
for my FBI agent, in case he's watching.
1648
01:20:40,979 --> 01:20:42,526
I'm just like...
1649
01:20:42,648 --> 01:20:44,195
(ALL CHEERING)
1650
01:20:45,651 --> 01:20:48,996
Whoever that guy is,
he does not get paid enough, okay.
1651
01:20:49,655 --> 01:20:53,501
Right. This is my last one.
I will get this right, okay?
1652
01:20:53,617 --> 01:20:54,869
- All right, Dan
- Are you ready?
1653
01:20:54,993 --> 01:20:57,621
PHIL: The last one comes from Freddie.
1654
01:20:59,123 --> 01:21:01,672
Oh, just tell me. I hate this. What?
1655
01:21:01,792 --> 01:21:04,511
Human extinction. Go!
1656
01:21:04,795 --> 01:21:08,345
Oh, you know what?
This is totally a good thing.
1657
01:21:08,382 --> 01:21:10,180
- Why?
- Hear me out.
1658
01:21:10,300 --> 01:21:13,474
What is the worst thing
about our universe?
1659
01:21:13,804 --> 01:21:16,853
Humanity. Am I right, everybody?
1660
01:21:16,890 --> 01:21:18,312
- Yeah.
- That's it.
1661
01:21:18,350 --> 01:21:21,194
We have only been civilised
for a few thousand years
1662
01:21:21,228 --> 01:21:22,980
and look at what
we've done to the place.
1663
01:21:23,021 --> 01:21:25,399
We're polluting,
we're killing all the animals.
1664
01:21:25,524 --> 01:21:29,995
I say, the sooner a giant meteor
slams into the Earth
1665
01:21:30,028 --> 01:21:32,656
and creates another Ice Age
that kills all the people,
1666
01:21:32,698 --> 01:21:34,041
the better for the universe.
1667
01:21:34,074 --> 01:21:35,872
- Really?
- Am I right, everybody?
1668
01:21:35,993 --> 01:21:39,213
Exactly. So, giant meteor,
1669
01:21:39,329 --> 01:21:44,586
if you are up there in space, listening,
I say, "Smack me, Daddy, I am ready."
1670
01:21:45,919 --> 01:21:48,388
I mean, I'm gonna give you that.
1671
01:21:48,839 --> 01:21:52,218
I'm very disturbed by
"smack me meteor daddy."
1672
01:21:52,342 --> 01:21:56,563
It's the truth. It's the truth.
Don't know what to say.
1673
01:21:56,597 --> 01:21:58,565
- Wow.
- Phil.
1674
01:21:58,682 --> 01:22:01,435
- Last one.
- Maybe that was the weirdest thing.
1675
01:22:02,186 --> 01:22:03,938
- This is your last one, Phil.
- Okay.
1676
01:22:04,062 --> 01:22:07,066
It comes from Grace.
1677
01:22:07,274 --> 01:22:09,572
You've gone too far.
This has gone too far.
1678
01:22:09,693 --> 01:22:13,368
Grace, there is no possible way
that this could be a bad thing.
1679
01:22:13,405 --> 01:22:17,876
- What is it?
- A billion puppies. Good luck, Phil.
1680
01:22:17,910 --> 01:22:19,912
Ooh, okay. I mean, that sounds nice.
1681
01:22:20,037 --> 01:22:21,084
You've got all the puppies
1682
01:22:21,121 --> 01:22:23,249
running through the theatre,
you're having a great time.
1683
01:22:23,290 --> 01:22:25,588
But it says a billion.
They start filling up.
1684
01:22:25,709 --> 01:22:28,383
And all of a sudden,
they're floating all over us.
1685
01:22:28,420 --> 01:22:29,888
And then we can't breathe.
1686
01:22:29,922 --> 01:22:33,301
And then you've got puppies
in your face and they're smothering you.
1687
01:22:33,425 --> 01:22:36,929
And the last thing you see
is a paw in your eye.
1688
01:22:37,054 --> 01:22:39,398
Okay, okay, wait. Hold up, hold up.
1689
01:22:39,431 --> 01:22:42,310
Who here would like to drown in puppies?
1690
01:22:43,602 --> 01:22:48,608
Exactly. Sorry, Phil, no, no.
Are you kidding me?
1691
01:22:48,774 --> 01:22:51,618
That would be an amazing way to die.
1692
01:22:51,735 --> 01:22:53,328
That is bright.
1693
01:22:54,780 --> 01:22:58,751
If there was a clinic in Sweden
that offered that as a paid service
1694
01:22:58,784 --> 01:23:01,287
I would be on a plane tomorrow.
I am not messing about.
1695
01:23:01,328 --> 01:23:02,955
- Wow.
- Okay.
1696
01:23:03,497 --> 01:23:05,920
Well, on that note,
I feel like that's a good time
1697
01:23:05,958 --> 01:23:07,926
to stop this before we get arrested.
1698
01:23:07,960 --> 01:23:10,258
- Yes.
- Yikes.
1699
01:23:10,295 --> 01:23:13,139
Well, what did we learn
from that disaster?
1700
01:23:13,257 --> 01:23:16,557
That I have a dark seed
growing in my soul.
1701
01:23:16,885 --> 01:23:17,977
Definitely.
1702
01:23:18,095 --> 01:23:21,065
I don't think any of us would disagree
with that at this point.
1703
01:23:21,139 --> 01:23:22,812
- What about you, Dan?
- I don't know.
1704
01:23:22,891 --> 01:23:26,987
I feel like somewhere,
in the dank cave of my soul,
1705
01:23:27,104 --> 01:23:30,984
a single beam of light
just broke through the ceiling.
1706
01:23:31,108 --> 01:23:34,658
I don't know, maybe,
I could be more wholesome.
1707
01:23:34,778 --> 01:23:35,825
- Maybe.
- I think
1708
01:23:35,904 --> 01:23:37,656
there's clearly a happy middle ground
1709
01:23:37,781 --> 01:23:40,000
between just doing
whatever other people want from you
1710
01:23:40,117 --> 01:23:42,245
-and only caring about what you want.
- Yeah.
1711
01:23:42,327 --> 01:23:45,297
Because too much either way
will go horribly wrong.
1712
01:23:45,330 --> 01:23:48,630
Yeah, so, I think so far we've learnt
a lot about the connections
1713
01:23:48,667 --> 01:23:50,669
-between us and the audience.
- Yes.
1714
01:23:50,794 --> 01:23:53,843
The connections that they all have
with each other, as Susan.
1715
01:23:53,964 --> 01:23:57,969
Yeah, but there is one angle
that we have not explored yet.
1716
01:23:58,010 --> 01:24:02,186
One connection that people
probably want us to go deep into.
1717
01:24:02,306 --> 01:24:06,686
And that is the connection between
Dan and Phil.
1718
01:24:06,810 --> 01:24:09,529
Oh, that's right.
1719
01:24:09,605 --> 01:24:16,284
Dan and Phil, super best friends
and soul mates forever. Right, guys?
1720
01:24:16,361 --> 01:24:21,709
- Yeah? Or is that all a lie?
- Oh.
1721
01:24:21,783 --> 01:24:25,003
And as soon as the camera turns off,
we don't even talk to each other.
1722
01:24:25,037 --> 01:24:28,541
- What would you know?
- Yeah, I secretly hate the guy. Bleh.
1723
01:24:28,624 --> 01:24:32,879
I am actually just an actor he hired
for Phil is not on fire 10 years ago.
1724
01:24:32,961 --> 01:24:34,804
This whole thing got way out of hand.
1725
01:24:34,880 --> 01:24:38,384
Just one rogue game
of Mario Kart and it's murder time.
1726
01:24:38,467 --> 01:24:42,722
That's not even a joke, but look,
you only ever see the good side
1727
01:24:42,804 --> 01:24:43,896
of Dan and Phil.
1728
01:24:43,972 --> 01:24:46,066
- Dan and Phil laughing and smiling...
- Yeah.
1729
01:24:46,183 --> 01:24:48,732
...and having a good time,
but that's not realistic, okay.
1730
01:24:48,852 --> 01:24:50,854
- No.
- This isn't the whole picture.
1731
01:24:50,896 --> 01:24:57,199
There is angst and tension
and cereal-stealing related betrayal.
1732
01:24:57,235 --> 01:25:02,537
It is there! And if you want to connect
with the real Dan and Phil,
1733
01:25:02,574 --> 01:25:04,997
-you have to see the dark side, too.
- You do.
1734
01:25:05,077 --> 01:25:06,420
Are you ready for that?
1735
01:25:07,371 --> 01:25:13,504
Okay. Well, it is time to push
our little bond until it breaks
1736
01:25:13,585 --> 01:25:17,180
in the Dan vs. Phil
1737
01:25:17,255 --> 01:25:21,101
Extreme Friendship Test.
1738
01:25:26,181 --> 01:25:28,604
We're gonna be doing
a series of games and challenges
1739
01:25:28,684 --> 01:25:30,436
that'll push our friendship to the max.
1740
01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:31,777
But we hear you saying,
1741
01:25:31,895 --> 01:25:36,696
"What, doing some games and challenges?
Where's the real tension in that?"
1742
01:25:36,775 --> 01:25:39,278
Well, that is why we decided to combine
1743
01:25:39,403 --> 01:25:43,533
everybody's favourite thing
about TV game shows, buzzers,
1744
01:25:43,615 --> 01:25:47,040
with the easiest way
to cause each other pain,
1745
01:25:47,119 --> 01:25:50,623
electrocution,
to make these little guys.
1746
01:25:52,124 --> 01:25:55,628
We've strapped real electric
shock devices to our hands
1747
01:25:55,711 --> 01:25:57,304
and we've got remote controls
1748
01:25:57,379 --> 01:26:00,132
that will zap the other person
if they get a question wrong.
1749
01:26:00,257 --> 01:26:04,637
So, we will literally be punishing
each other for being bad friends.
1750
01:26:04,761 --> 01:26:06,104
Are you ready for this?
1751
01:26:06,138 --> 01:26:08,140
PHIL: Yeah?
DAN: Okay.
1752
01:26:08,265 --> 01:26:11,144
'Cause this is real
and it is happening right now.
1753
01:26:11,226 --> 01:26:12,648
Well, let's start things off
1754
01:26:12,769 --> 01:26:15,318
with a quick lightning round,
if you will.
1755
01:26:15,439 --> 01:26:16,941
Psychic connections.
1756
01:26:18,567 --> 01:26:22,413
Psychic connections is all about
the unspoken bond between our brains.
1757
01:26:22,487 --> 01:26:24,831
Surely, we have spent
so much time together,
1758
01:26:24,906 --> 01:26:26,453
we can just read each other's minds.
1759
01:26:26,491 --> 01:26:28,493
Yeah. So, we're gonna
be given a category
1760
01:26:28,577 --> 01:26:31,956
and we both have to say a word
from that category at the same time.
1761
01:26:31,997 --> 01:26:35,752
If we say the same word
at the same time...
1762
01:26:35,834 --> 01:26:37,928
Psychic. Super best friends.
1763
01:26:38,003 --> 01:26:41,974
- If we say different words...
- Zappy, zappy, ouch time.
1764
01:26:42,007 --> 01:26:45,477
Yes, okay.
Well, let's see this category.
1765
01:26:45,510 --> 01:26:49,686
Coming from Ingi, it is "sticky things."
1766
01:26:49,806 --> 01:26:51,774
- Ooh.
- Okay.
1767
01:26:51,850 --> 01:26:55,150
- Okay, wait, wait. I've got one.
- Right. I've got one.
1768
01:26:55,187 --> 01:26:58,111
This is a very good example
of a sticky thing.
1769
01:26:58,190 --> 01:26:59,191
- It's a classic.
- Yeah.
1770
01:26:59,316 --> 01:27:00,784
- I'm beaming it to you.
- Okay.
1771
01:27:00,859 --> 01:27:02,861
- You got it? Right. Are you ready?
- Here we go.
1772
01:27:02,944 --> 01:27:05,117
- And glue!
- A stick!
1773
01:27:05,197 --> 01:27:06,870
'Ow!
'Ow!
1774
01:27:06,990 --> 01:27:11,871
- What the hell did you say?
- I said a stick. Sticky stick.
1775
01:27:11,995 --> 01:27:14,623
- It's a joke!
- Are you serious?
1776
01:27:14,706 --> 01:27:18,802
- Yeah.
- This is not the time for jokes, Phil.
1777
01:27:18,877 --> 01:27:21,551
Glue. It's a sticky thing. Glue.
1778
01:27:21,671 --> 01:27:23,639
Your mum's sticky.
1779
01:27:25,801 --> 01:27:28,896
I didn't think that through.
I take it back.
1780
01:27:29,846 --> 01:27:32,019
- What did you just say?
- I'm sorry.
1781
01:27:32,808 --> 01:27:36,233
Okay. Well, if that's how
this is gonna go...
1782
01:27:36,353 --> 01:27:38,856
- In fact, this has to escalate, okay.
- Yeah.
1783
01:27:38,897 --> 01:27:41,821
- We want things to get more tense.
- We do.
1784
01:27:41,900 --> 01:27:45,029
Which is why, between each round
in this Dan vs Phil,
1785
01:27:45,070 --> 01:27:49,826
we are going to turn up the power
of the electric shock.
1786
01:27:49,908 --> 01:27:52,081
So, let's do that right now.
1787
01:27:52,577 --> 01:27:55,421
Up to level two.
1788
01:27:55,539 --> 01:27:58,543
- Finger is in the yellow.
- Yes.
1789
01:27:58,583 --> 01:28:02,429
This next round is called
Phantastic Phacts.
1790
01:28:03,088 --> 01:28:05,341
See what we did there?
Very creative.
1791
01:28:07,717 --> 01:28:11,062
With Phantastic Phacts,
we're gonna be given a trivia question
1792
01:28:11,096 --> 01:28:12,939
about the other person
that we should know.
1793
01:28:13,056 --> 01:28:15,900
Well, I feel like I know everything
about your life for no reason.
1794
01:28:15,934 --> 01:28:18,278
- So I'm ready.
- First one is for Dan.
1795
01:28:18,395 --> 01:28:20,614
- Tell me.
- It comes from Heather.
1796
01:28:20,730 --> 01:28:24,576
"What did Phil buy for Mother's Day
in 2006?"
1797
01:28:24,693 --> 01:28:25,740
What?
1798
01:28:25,777 --> 01:28:27,745
I mean, you should know this.
1799
01:28:27,779 --> 01:28:30,783
How would I know
what you got your mum in 2006?
1800
01:28:30,866 --> 01:28:33,085
Looks like some people
in the audience know it.
1801
01:28:33,118 --> 01:28:36,088
- Is this a thing?
- Don't help him. Don't help him.
1802
01:28:36,121 --> 01:28:38,749
I don't know. Chocolate?
1803
01:28:38,790 --> 01:28:42,795
- No!
- Oh, frik... What?
1804
01:28:42,919 --> 01:28:45,468
It was a monkey trapped in a cage.
1805
01:28:46,631 --> 01:28:48,975
Or as Northern Phil would say,
1806
01:28:49,050 --> 01:28:51,428
(IN NORTHERN ENGLISH ACCENT)
"a monkey trapped in a cage."
1807
01:28:51,887 --> 01:28:54,936
- From your first...
- From my first video blog.
1808
01:28:55,765 --> 01:28:59,895
The plastic monkey in a cage is what
you got your mother for Mother's Day?
1809
01:28:59,978 --> 01:29:02,072
Yeah. She loved it.
1810
01:29:02,272 --> 01:29:03,615
- Did she now?
- Yeah.
1811
01:29:03,732 --> 01:29:06,235
Right, well, you know,
that's something new for me.
1812
01:29:06,318 --> 01:29:09,288
Phil, you must be
a very unique son to have.
1813
01:29:09,321 --> 01:29:13,952
I'm ready for you.
Okay. Phil, your question is from Skye.
1814
01:29:13,992 --> 01:29:17,963
(READING)
1815
01:29:17,996 --> 01:29:19,748
- Oh.
- This is a good one.
1816
01:29:19,831 --> 01:29:22,630
This is the kind of stuff that
you should know about your friends.
1817
01:29:22,667 --> 01:29:23,759
- Yea h, okay.
- Right?
1818
01:29:23,835 --> 01:29:26,463
- Wait. I think I know it.
- He thinks he knows it.
1819
01:29:26,504 --> 01:29:27,847
All right. What is it, Phil?
1820
01:29:27,923 --> 01:29:29,971
I'll tell you what it was,
what it really, really was.
1821
01:29:30,008 --> 01:29:31,100
It was the Spice Girls.
1822
01:29:31,176 --> 01:29:34,180
- No! It was not the Spice Girls.
- Ow.
1823
01:29:34,262 --> 01:29:35,684
Ooh.
1824
01:29:35,847 --> 01:29:37,599
DAN: Ooh, weird noises.
1825
01:29:38,183 --> 01:29:42,814
That was my first album, Phil.
But it wasn't on CD, it was on tape.
1826
01:29:42,854 --> 01:29:44,447
- Oh.
- That is right.
1827
01:29:44,522 --> 01:29:48,823
- Oh, nice try, Phil.
- Okay, granddad, with your tapes.
1828
01:29:49,194 --> 01:29:51,492
- Oh.
- Says you.
1829
01:29:51,613 --> 01:29:54,036
What was your first album on? A rock?
1830
01:29:54,199 --> 01:29:55,200
Right.
1831
01:29:55,867 --> 01:29:59,622
Wow. It is time for the next round.
1832
01:29:59,704 --> 01:30:02,207
Let's turn up this power again.
1833
01:30:02,332 --> 01:30:05,711
Clearly, things are just going to get
quite heated here.
1834
01:30:05,794 --> 01:30:07,888
- Yeah.
- I'll let you introduce it.
1835
01:30:08,004 --> 01:30:11,508
The next round is the Oscar-nominated,
1836
01:30:11,549 --> 01:30:14,723
- Grammy award nominated...
- Yes. Totally.
1837
01:30:14,844 --> 01:30:17,313
...other things nominated.
1838
01:30:18,014 --> 01:30:20,938
- Dan Phil or Rat.
- That's right.
1839
01:30:21,017 --> 01:30:22,735
- This is in the show.
- Yeah.
1840
01:30:22,811 --> 01:30:25,564
- Phil wanted this in the show.
- Yeah. I did.
1841
01:30:25,647 --> 01:30:29,117
So we're gonna be looking at photos
of Dans, Phils or rats.
1842
01:30:29,192 --> 01:30:33,493
- But they are super-zoomed in.
- Enhanced to ridiculous levels.
1843
01:30:33,571 --> 01:30:35,573
And we've got to guess
whether we're looking at...
1844
01:30:35,657 --> 01:30:37,580
BOTH: Dan, Phil or rats.
1845
01:30:37,659 --> 01:30:41,254
That is literally the whole game.
Well, Phil, you can go first.
1846
01:30:41,329 --> 01:30:43,582
Let's see this image.
1847
01:30:44,416 --> 01:30:48,216
- Okay.
- Is that Dan, Phil or a rat?
1848
01:30:48,294 --> 01:30:49,546
What is... I mean...
1849
01:30:49,671 --> 01:30:51,048
I mean, what do you think, Susan?
1850
01:30:51,131 --> 01:30:52,724
- Shout it out.
- What do you think it is?
1851
01:30:53,675 --> 01:30:56,098
I mean, that just sounds like, "raaa".
1852
01:30:56,177 --> 01:30:58,521
Don't speak at the same time.
This is completely useless.
1853
01:30:58,596 --> 01:31:00,598
- Not helping me.
- What do you think, Phil?
1854
01:31:00,682 --> 01:31:03,856
I mean, I think it looks quite a lot
like my hair. It's the same shade.
1855
01:31:03,935 --> 01:31:06,734
This is not greasy enough
to be Phil's hair at all.
1856
01:31:06,813 --> 01:31:09,407
Right. I'm gonna go with Phil.
1857
01:31:09,482 --> 01:31:12,531
He's saying Phil. All right.
Let's zoom out.
1858
01:31:12,652 --> 01:31:15,622
It is... Oh, a rat!
(BUZZING)
1859
01:31:15,697 --> 01:31:19,372
- Oh, oh.
- Waa, waa, waa.
1860
01:31:19,451 --> 01:31:23,797
- Phil is a rat confirmed.
- That was a tingly one.
1861
01:31:24,164 --> 01:31:25,586
- A tingly one?
- Yeah.
1862
01:31:25,665 --> 01:31:28,168
All right. Don't sound like
you're enjoying it or anything.
1863
01:31:28,251 --> 01:31:31,881
- Now, I'm ready for mine. Show me.
- Okay.
1864
01:31:32,505 --> 01:31:34,473
- What's that?
- What is that?
1865
01:31:34,549 --> 01:31:36,893
It looks like some kind of body part.
1866
01:31:36,968 --> 01:31:40,063
I really don't want to play
guess the body part.
1867
01:31:40,138 --> 01:31:41,390
What are you looking at?
1868
01:31:41,473 --> 01:31:45,228
Okay, I have thought,
I think this is either
1869
01:31:45,351 --> 01:31:47,945
the ear of a rat,
you know what I'm saying.
1870
01:31:48,063 --> 01:31:49,736
It kind of looks like a rat's ear.
1871
01:31:49,814 --> 01:31:53,864
Or this is Phil
doing his weird hand thing.
1872
01:31:53,943 --> 01:31:56,366
- You know what I'm talking about?
- My gosh.
1873
01:31:57,030 --> 01:31:59,783
I am going to say that
that is a picture of Phil.
1874
01:31:59,866 --> 01:32:01,994
- Okay, here we go.
- Here we go.
1875
01:32:03,703 --> 01:32:05,922
- No!
- Oh! What the...
1876
01:32:05,997 --> 01:32:08,420
Oh, oh my God. I kicked the bench.
1877
01:32:10,168 --> 01:32:13,172
That really hurts. That hurt more
than the electricity.
1878
01:32:13,254 --> 01:32:15,427
Was that your first ever
fursuit, Dan?
1879
01:32:18,510 --> 01:32:23,107
Can I just say that is definitely
the most cursed image on the Internet.
1880
01:32:23,181 --> 01:32:25,559
I am so sorry that anybody here
had to see that.
1881
01:32:25,642 --> 01:32:26,689
You got it wrong.
1882
01:32:26,768 --> 01:32:29,988
Well, I guess it's time
for the last round.
1883
01:32:30,063 --> 01:32:33,283
So we have to turn it up one more time.
1884
01:32:33,358 --> 01:32:37,158
And at this point, it gets
really quite uncomfortable, okay.
1885
01:32:37,237 --> 01:32:40,332
We really want to avoid
getting shocked here.
1886
01:32:40,406 --> 01:32:43,706
It's more than tingly.
And the last round is...
1887
01:32:43,785 --> 01:32:47,415
The most dramatic round of all.
Dan and Phil dilemmas.
1888
01:32:47,580 --> 01:32:48,627
(GASPS)
1889
01:32:49,874 --> 01:32:53,128
We're gonna be given a dilemma where
something good could happen to us
1890
01:32:53,211 --> 01:32:55,339
or something terrible happens
to the other person.
1891
01:32:55,421 --> 01:32:57,094
Or maybe the other person
1892
01:32:57,173 --> 01:33:00,723
is in mortal danger
and we need to sacrifice something
1893
01:33:00,802 --> 01:33:02,304
in order to save them.
1894
01:33:02,387 --> 01:33:04,936
This will show once and for all
1895
01:33:05,014 --> 01:33:08,564
how far would we really
be willing to go for each other.
1896
01:33:08,643 --> 01:33:10,361
All right, well, Dan, you can go first.
1897
01:33:10,436 --> 01:33:12,939
I'd do anything for you, Phil.
1898
01:33:13,022 --> 01:33:16,993
- Really?
- Let's see. Let's see, shall we?
1899
01:33:17,068 --> 01:33:20,868
- Okay, the first one is from Alexis.
- Hit me.
1900
01:33:20,947 --> 01:33:24,042
(READING) "Phil is about to fall off
the Grand Canyon."
1901
01:33:25,285 --> 01:33:27,879
Is it wrong that I can really easily
see that happening?
1902
01:33:27,954 --> 01:33:29,422
I mean, that would happen.
1903
01:33:29,497 --> 01:33:32,717
Shoelaces are untied, taking a selfie.
Splat. There we go.
1904
01:33:32,959 --> 01:33:34,927
- But...
- But, what's the catch?
1905
01:33:35,795 --> 01:33:38,844
"To save him, you have to revert
to your old branding."
1906
01:33:38,923 --> 01:33:40,596
- No, no!
- Oh.
1907
01:33:41,843 --> 01:33:45,723
Alexis, you twisted freak,
how could you even imagine this?
1908
01:33:45,805 --> 01:33:47,648
0h, my gosh. Okay.
1909
01:33:47,849 --> 01:33:50,728
You'd be leaning over the edge, like,
"Hi, my name is Dan."
1910
01:33:50,810 --> 01:33:52,904
- Really? Thank you, Phil.
-(ALL CHEERING)
1911
01:33:52,979 --> 01:33:54,652
PHIL: So many square brackets.
1912
01:33:54,731 --> 01:33:58,326
Okay, yeah, everybody going at that
at me right now from the audience,
1913
01:33:58,401 --> 01:34:01,245
I will find you and block you, okay.
1914
01:34:01,404 --> 01:34:02,906
That is a threat.
1915
01:34:03,406 --> 01:34:05,329
What're you gonna do? You gonna save me?
1916
01:34:05,408 --> 01:34:06,751
- Right.
- Dan?
1917
01:34:06,826 --> 01:34:09,170
Is this like, a high part
of the Grand Canyon
1918
01:34:09,245 --> 01:34:11,293
or is it like, a shallow bit
of the Grand Canyon?
1919
01:34:11,372 --> 01:34:14,376
Dan, it's literally called
the Grand Canyon for a reason.
1920
01:34:14,459 --> 01:34:16,302
There's some parts over water, right?
1921
01:34:16,377 --> 01:34:18,220
I'm sure you would be fine
if you fell in it.
1922
01:34:18,296 --> 01:34:19,343
What?
1923
01:34:19,839 --> 01:34:22,092
- Are you seriously...
- Yes, this is serious.
1924
01:34:22,175 --> 01:34:24,177
...asking what I'd do in this situation?
1925
01:34:24,260 --> 01:34:28,310
- Honestly, obviously, I would save Phil.
- Aw.
1926
01:34:28,389 --> 01:34:29,766
Are you kidding me?
1927
01:34:29,849 --> 01:34:31,146
You'd save me.
1928
01:34:31,226 --> 01:34:34,947
Did anybody here actually think
I would say no to that?
1929
01:34:35,605 --> 01:34:37,573
- A few people.
- Really?
1930
01:34:38,441 --> 01:34:41,411
- Wow. Well, Phil, it's time for yours.
- Thanks.
1931
01:34:41,486 --> 01:34:44,831
- Okay.
- This one comes from Juanita
1932
01:34:44,906 --> 01:34:48,877
who said... (READING)
1933
01:34:48,952 --> 01:34:51,125
- All right. Painful.
- That's gonna hurt.
1934
01:34:51,204 --> 01:34:54,128
Some jellyfish can kill you
if you get stung by them.
1935
01:34:54,207 --> 01:34:59,429
But, Phil, to save him you have
to pee on his leg.
1936
01:34:59,504 --> 01:35:00,551
What?
1937
01:35:01,130 --> 01:35:04,384
I'm not... Is that meant
to heal the jellyfish sting?
1938
01:35:04,467 --> 01:35:06,435
Well, we know what juanita's into.
1939
01:35:07,303 --> 01:35:10,056
- Phil, what would you do?
- I'm not peeing on your leg.
1940
01:35:10,765 --> 01:35:13,860
lam in searing pain, Phil.
1941
01:35:13,935 --> 01:35:17,280
I could be having an allergic reaction
and I would die on a beach.
1942
01:35:17,355 --> 01:35:20,279
I think that's a myth. I don't think
pee is even gonna stop it.
1943
01:35:20,358 --> 01:35:23,237
Some people do this for fun and you
wouldn't do it to save my life?
1944
01:35:23,319 --> 01:35:24,741
No, I'm not peeing on your leg.
1945
01:35:24,821 --> 01:35:26,869
- Are you serious? No!
- Ow!
1946
01:35:26,948 --> 01:35:30,077
- Bad Phil.
- Wow, that kept going. Jesus.
1947
01:35:30,159 --> 01:35:34,335
Hold on to that pain, Phil, 'cause that
was the tingle of being a bad friend.
1948
01:35:34,414 --> 01:35:36,633
Oh, my gosh, that was a fizzy one.
1949
01:35:36,708 --> 01:35:40,554
Okay, well, I think Phil's a bit
too stimulated right now
1950
01:35:40,628 --> 01:35:44,303
so how's about we have a look
at the final scores?
1951
01:35:44,382 --> 01:35:47,602
- Okay.
- After that, Danny coming in
1952
01:35:47,677 --> 01:35:50,806
with a thick score of...
1953
01:35:50,888 --> 01:35:52,140
BOTH: One.
1954
01:35:52,682 --> 01:35:55,982
- I tried. I tried.
- And Philly gets...
1955
01:35:56,060 --> 01:35:57,937
Wait a minute, what did Phil get?
1956
01:35:58,021 --> 01:35:59,773
- Ooh.
-(DAN LAUGHS)
1957
01:35:59,939 --> 01:36:03,944
- Did I really get zero?
- That is nothing to be proud of.
1958
01:36:04,986 --> 01:36:07,660
Guess we can say the good news first.
1959
01:36:07,739 --> 01:36:13,496
We decided to keep a running track of
who won every Dan vs Phil on this tour.
1960
01:36:13,578 --> 01:36:16,081
So by the end
of Interactive Introverts,
1961
01:36:16,164 --> 01:36:20,089
we will know officially
which of us is the better friend.
1962
01:36:20,168 --> 01:36:22,045
And are you ready to find out?
1963
01:36:22,128 --> 01:36:27,100
After all of the tour,
Dan is coming in with...
1964
01:36:28,134 --> 01:36:32,230
Thirty-five. Thank you. Nice big number.
1965
01:36:32,305 --> 01:36:36,355
And what's Phil... Can we see
how many times Phil has won?
1966
01:36:36,934 --> 01:36:38,811
- Boo.
- Aw.
1967
01:36:38,895 --> 01:36:40,738
I thought I was clawing it back.
1968
01:36:40,813 --> 01:36:42,360
There it is, sorry.
1969
01:36:42,440 --> 01:36:44,613
It's like Dan and Phil games
all over again.
1970
01:36:44,692 --> 01:36:47,195
I am the better friend.
You never stood a chance.
1971
01:36:47,653 --> 01:36:49,121
- Why?
- Yeah.
1972
01:36:49,197 --> 01:36:50,870
I'm Phil trash number one.
1973
01:36:51,240 --> 01:36:52,992
(ALL CHEERING)
1974
01:36:53,076 --> 01:36:55,078
PHIL: Wow, really?
1975
01:36:55,161 --> 01:36:57,880
For every winner, there is a loser.
1976
01:36:57,955 --> 01:37:03,303
And, Phil, that's you. And that means
you have to take the forfeit.
1977
01:37:03,461 --> 01:37:07,261
And there is no all or nothing
to save you this time.
1978
01:37:07,673 --> 01:37:10,176
Phil, stand on the hexagon.
1979
01:37:10,259 --> 01:37:16,642
The forfeit is to take one final
electric shock at maximum power.
1980
01:37:16,724 --> 01:37:18,476
- Oh, gosh.
- So, can we now
1981
01:37:18,559 --> 01:37:21,608
turn it up all the way to maximum?
1982
01:37:23,398 --> 01:37:24,945
I don't like it.
1983
01:37:25,566 --> 01:37:29,287
Remember, you're here
because you're a bad friend.
1984
01:37:29,362 --> 01:37:31,239
Any final words?
1985
01:37:31,489 --> 01:37:32,536
Dad.
1986
01:37:35,701 --> 01:37:38,079
I feel like he needs this. Okay.
1987
01:37:38,162 --> 01:37:43,714
Oh, I've been waiting for this
a long time. Here we go. And zap.
1988
01:37:45,336 --> 01:37:48,715
- Oh! Mother Goose.
- What?
1989
01:37:52,760 --> 01:37:55,434
- That was a close one, Phil.
- Of course, it was close.
1990
01:37:55,513 --> 01:37:56,560
Mother Goose.
1991
01:37:57,432 --> 01:38:00,231
I think this is gonna take a few minutes
to recover from that.
1992
01:38:00,309 --> 01:38:02,277
- Yeah.
- As will Phil apparently.
1993
01:38:02,979 --> 01:38:05,732
Wow. I mean, I think
this is a good opportunity,
1994
01:38:05,815 --> 01:38:08,739
without all the screens
and the lights and the sound,
1995
01:38:09,026 --> 01:38:11,199
just to have a chat
with these guys, you know.
1996
01:38:11,279 --> 01:38:15,204
What, just have a casual conversation
about something?
1997
01:38:15,283 --> 01:38:16,660
- Yeah.
- All right. What about?
1998
01:38:16,742 --> 01:38:19,621
Why don't we get casual?
I think I might plonk myself here.
1999
01:38:19,745 --> 01:38:22,669
Okay. Wow!
2000
01:38:22,748 --> 01:38:25,126
Look at how casual he's being right now.
2001
01:38:25,209 --> 01:38:27,462
Okay wait, me too. Here we go.
2002
01:38:28,379 --> 01:38:30,757
Sorry, too casual, too casual.
2003
01:38:30,840 --> 01:38:32,763
I take that back. That was too casual.
2004
01:38:32,842 --> 01:38:34,059
That was a bit too casual.
2005
01:38:34,135 --> 01:38:37,059
So I wrote down some questions from you
guys and I thought we could answer them.
2006
01:38:37,138 --> 01:38:39,516
Well, Phil, what do they wanna
talk about?
2007
01:38:39,599 --> 01:38:41,772
Well, our first one is from Kate.
2008
01:38:41,893 --> 01:38:43,645
- Hey, Kate.
- Hey.
2009
01:38:43,895 --> 01:38:47,490
Sorry, was that casual? I feel like
that was a bit creepy. Try again.
2010
01:38:47,565 --> 01:38:48,612
Let me try again.
2011
01:38:48,691 --> 01:38:50,739
- Hi.
- Much better.
2012
01:38:50,818 --> 01:38:52,991
Kate says, "'Sup D and P?"
2013
01:38:53,070 --> 01:38:54,822
Sup, K'? What up'?
2014
01:38:55,406 --> 01:38:56,453
And Kate said,
2015
01:38:56,532 --> 01:39:00,253
"What is your favourite thing about
going on these long-ass tours?"
2016
01:39:02,705 --> 01:39:05,083
- What's an ass tour?
- Dan!
2017
01:39:05,166 --> 01:39:08,386
Is that just like a tour where you walk
around showing people your ass?
2018
01:39:08,461 --> 01:39:09,508
No, thanks.
2019
01:39:09,587 --> 01:39:11,180
I haven't heard about that.
2020
01:39:11,255 --> 01:39:14,759
- No. Stop!
- Is that normal with big acts?
2021
01:39:15,343 --> 01:39:17,641
Or else I'm going to
a weird mental place that I don't like.
2022
01:39:17,720 --> 01:39:19,939
- Come on, Phil, what's your answer?
- Okay. I think...
2023
01:39:20,014 --> 01:39:23,985
I think what it is, is it's so nice
to go to so many different places.
2024
01:39:24,060 --> 01:39:26,358
You go on a tour bus.
You wake up in a new place.
2025
01:39:26,437 --> 01:39:29,907
- See some sights. Go outside.
- He's lying.
2026
01:39:30,024 --> 01:39:31,776
All Phil cares about is the breakfast.
2027
01:39:31,859 --> 01:39:32,906
- Dan!
- Honestly.
2028
01:39:32,985 --> 01:39:35,158
You know what Phil cares about?
2029
01:39:35,238 --> 01:39:38,037
Room service pancakes.
That is the truth.
2030
01:39:38,115 --> 01:39:40,618
- Okay.
- That is the only reason
2031
01:39:40,701 --> 01:39:41,748
Phil is here right now.
2032
01:39:41,827 --> 01:39:44,546
The pancakes are my favourite part.
But there are other bits too.
2033
01:39:44,622 --> 01:39:46,465
But he likes going outside as well.
2034
01:39:46,541 --> 01:39:47,838
- What about you, Dan?
- Er.
2035
01:39:48,084 --> 01:39:52,009
Honestly, I think it's getting
to see our audience in real life.
2036
01:39:52,088 --> 01:39:53,305
- Aw.
- I know, I know.
2037
01:39:53,381 --> 01:39:55,679
That sounds really sucky.
But honestly, like
2038
01:39:56,217 --> 01:39:59,471
everything we do is on the Internet
and that makes it really hard
2039
01:39:59,554 --> 01:40:02,307
for us to understand like,
how real things are.
2040
01:40:02,390 --> 01:40:06,236
So when we get to see the people that
watch us on the Internet, in real life,
2041
01:40:06,310 --> 01:40:08,312
we see the effect we have on people,
2042
01:40:08,396 --> 01:40:09,989
that puts it all into perspective.
2043
01:40:10,064 --> 01:40:11,907
It makes the whole thing worthwhile.
2044
01:40:11,983 --> 01:40:13,906
So honestly, that is my answer to that.
2045
01:40:13,985 --> 01:40:15,032
Aw.
2046
01:40:16,070 --> 01:40:19,199
Dan, I think Wholesome Howell
is leaking.
2047
01:40:19,282 --> 01:40:23,207
Oh, God. Bleh.
Okay, right, next question. Quickly.
2048
01:40:23,286 --> 01:40:25,004
The next question comes from josh.
2049
01:40:25,079 --> 01:40:26,547
- Hey, josh.
- Hey.
2050
01:40:27,957 --> 01:40:30,130
- Josh...
- I am sorry about this man.
2051
01:40:30,209 --> 01:40:33,463
Josh said, "I really like
this guy in my class,
2052
01:40:33,546 --> 01:40:37,096
"but I'm scared he will reject me
for being an anime-loving nerd."
2053
01:40:38,843 --> 01:40:40,891
It's a romance question.
2054
01:40:40,970 --> 01:40:42,222
BOTH: Ooh!
2055
01:40:42,305 --> 01:40:46,902
Sorry. Sorry, this is a real person
talking to us vulnerably right now.
2056
01:40:46,976 --> 01:40:50,901
Okay, well, oh, josh also said, "HELP"
in capital letters.
2057
01:40:50,980 --> 01:40:53,403
- Well, that is a big mood, people.
- Bit serious.
2058
01:40:53,858 --> 01:40:56,953
- So, josh, if this person...
- Hit us with the dating advice, Phil.
2059
01:40:57,069 --> 01:40:59,913
Yeah, if this guy doesn't love you
for your anime-loving self,
2060
01:40:59,989 --> 01:41:03,209
-then he's not worth it.
- Yes, Phil, yes!
2061
01:41:03,284 --> 01:41:05,958
- Yeah.
- That is the truth right there.
2062
01:41:06,370 --> 01:41:09,749
You should never change yourself
to impress other people.
2063
01:41:09,832 --> 01:41:12,711
You need to love yourself
and let other people find you.
2064
01:41:12,793 --> 01:41:17,594
And hey, if that moment, in this room,
where everybody 'yeed' at the same time,
2065
01:41:17,673 --> 01:41:20,643
showed anything,
it's that there is literally
2066
01:41:20,718 --> 01:41:23,221
a weirdo out there for anybody.
2067
01:41:23,304 --> 01:41:24,556
Am I right, guys?
2068
01:41:24,639 --> 01:41:28,815
Just go out there
and find another anime-nerd.
2069
01:41:28,893 --> 01:41:31,897
- Good luck with that. Thank you.
- That's good advice, Phil.
2070
01:41:31,979 --> 01:41:35,279
- And the last one, it comes from Amir.
- Hey, Amir.
2071
01:41:35,358 --> 01:41:37,827
- He says, "Hey,"
- Should I say, "Heymir?"
2072
01:41:38,819 --> 01:41:40,537
Sorry, that was awful. I'm sorry.
2073
01:41:40,613 --> 01:41:42,581
Amir said, "I'm just wondering
2074
01:41:42,657 --> 01:41:45,627
is there anything about your life
that you really regret?
2075
01:41:45,701 --> 01:41:48,830
Oh, fun. Okay, great question.
2076
01:41:48,913 --> 01:41:51,336
- Wonderful. Well, let's see.
- Okay.
2077
01:41:51,415 --> 01:41:55,170
The year was 2006.
I was making a YouTube channel.
2078
01:41:55,252 --> 01:42:01,680
Create a username, it said.
He typed, Danis not on fire. Ahhh!
2079
01:42:02,635 --> 01:42:06,014
But look, I get this a lot.
People say, "Dan, do you just like
2080
01:42:06,097 --> 01:42:07,895
"die cringing everyday thinking about
2081
01:42:07,973 --> 01:42:09,941
"everything that you've ever
done wrong in your life?"
2082
01:42:10,017 --> 01:42:11,360
I get that, right.
2083
01:42:11,435 --> 01:42:15,190
But honestly, everything that you ever
do wrong, all the mistakes
2084
01:42:15,272 --> 01:42:19,027
that you make, all of your regrets,
they are things that you learn from.
2085
01:42:19,110 --> 01:42:21,454
And they make you the person
that you are today.
2086
01:42:21,529 --> 01:42:24,032
If I didn't do all of the things
that I regret,
2087
01:42:24,115 --> 01:42:25,992
I wouldn't be sat here right now.
2088
01:42:26,075 --> 01:42:27,122
Aw.
2089
01:42:27,535 --> 01:42:31,540
So honestly, if you are thinking
about times you messed up,
2090
01:42:31,622 --> 01:42:33,920
things that you did wrong, just think,
what did I learn from that
2091
01:42:33,999 --> 01:42:37,299
and you love yourself because
that is the truth right there, okay.
2092
01:42:37,378 --> 01:42:39,676
Wow! Good answer, Dan.
2093
01:42:40,715 --> 01:42:45,516
I kinda regret most of my career,
but yeah, that's my answer. Okay.
2094
01:42:45,720 --> 01:42:50,521
You know what, I'm gonna say I am glad
that Phil got electrocuted
2095
01:42:50,599 --> 01:42:53,603
as I enjoyed this time getting casual
with all of you.
2096
01:42:53,686 --> 01:42:55,188
- Yeah. That was nice.
- It was nice.
2097
01:42:55,271 --> 01:42:57,569
All right, now, Phil, stand up
without tripping over.
2098
01:42:57,648 --> 01:42:59,696
- Okay, it's a real challenge.
- Can he do it?
2099
01:42:59,775 --> 01:43:03,700
- I'm alive.
- He did... Oh, my God. He did it.
2100
01:43:03,779 --> 01:43:05,281
- That was close though.
- It was close.
2101
01:43:05,364 --> 01:43:07,913
- I saw you do a little wobble.
- Well, this has
2102
01:43:07,992 --> 01:43:10,461
definitely been
an emotional roller coaster.
2103
01:43:10,536 --> 01:43:13,836
- It has.
- I mean, we've had sincere moments
2104
01:43:13,914 --> 01:43:16,963
talking about nice stuff,
a couple weird ones too.
2105
01:43:17,042 --> 01:43:19,136
We learned a lot about the audience
as Susan.
2106
01:43:19,211 --> 01:43:22,841
Yes, Even though some things I'd rather
forget that we talked about.
2107
01:43:22,923 --> 01:43:24,266
Like the stuff under your bed?
2108
01:43:24,341 --> 01:43:27,686
Yeah, where I'm gonna die
on a furry rave toilet.
2109
01:43:27,762 --> 01:43:30,436
Before we go, we just want
all of you to know,
2110
01:43:30,514 --> 01:43:34,735
that me and Phil, we appreciate
that this time in our lives,
2111
01:43:34,810 --> 01:43:36,983
where we can travel around the world
2112
01:43:37,062 --> 01:43:42,569
and people on the Internet will actually
come outside to see us in real life.
2113
01:43:42,651 --> 01:43:47,373
- Yeah.
- This is the special time in our lives.
2114
01:43:47,615 --> 01:43:52,542
Like, imagine Phil, he's a 110,
looking back at all the good times...
2115
01:43:52,620 --> 01:43:55,419
Okay, he's a 100, thinking
about the good times...
2116
01:43:55,498 --> 01:43:59,128
- It's been 84 years.
- Yes. He'll be like,
2117
01:43:59,210 --> 01:44:03,966
I remember when we did the show
and talked about furries and Satan.
2118
01:44:04,048 --> 01:44:06,176
- That was us, everybody.
- That was us.
2119
01:44:06,258 --> 01:44:08,977
That was all of you and us
2120
01:44:09,053 --> 01:44:11,055
-watching this right now.
- Yeah.
2121
01:44:11,138 --> 01:44:14,062
And we will have these memories forever,
2122
01:44:14,141 --> 01:44:15,313
whether you like it or not.
2123
01:44:15,392 --> 01:44:16,814
Yeah, and there might be loads
2124
01:44:16,894 --> 01:44:19,397
of reasons why you guys
are here in the audience tonight.
2125
01:44:19,480 --> 01:44:22,108
- You might like our videos...
- Hopefully.
2126
01:44:22,191 --> 01:44:23,864
-...you might like the community.
- Yes.
2127
01:44:23,943 --> 01:44:26,366
- You might like Dan's memes.
- There's a lot of those.
2128
01:44:26,445 --> 01:44:29,415
And who knows what the future holds.
2129
01:44:29,657 --> 01:44:33,833
Death. Death is what the future holds.
It's coming. It's coming.
2130
01:44:33,911 --> 01:44:35,128
Oh, my gosh.
2131
01:44:35,246 --> 01:44:38,625
In all seriousness,
it doesn't matter who we all are
2132
01:44:38,749 --> 01:44:41,468
or how we're different
or what we want or why.
2133
01:44:41,585 --> 01:44:43,007
'Cause at the end of the day,
2134
01:44:43,087 --> 01:44:46,261
making you guys happy
is what makes us happy.
2135
01:44:46,298 --> 01:44:48,676
Which is why we wanted
to come and do this.
2136
01:44:48,759 --> 01:44:52,980
So hopefully, you feel like
we have pleased you...
2137
01:44:53,097 --> 01:44:55,850
- And we have given you what you want.
- DAN:Yes.
2138
01:44:55,933 --> 01:44:58,106
(LOUD CHEERING)
2139
01:44:59,436 --> 01:45:02,280
ANNOUNCER". It's time for the first ever
2140
01:45:02,314 --> 01:45:06,035
Annual Interactive Introverts
Golden I Awards
2141
01:45:09,029 --> 01:45:14,160
Please give it up for your hosts
with the most, Phil and Dan.
2142
01:45:17,955 --> 01:45:19,832
(ALL SCREAMING)
2143
01:45:21,375 --> 01:45:24,470
Oh, hello there, everybody.
2144
01:45:24,503 --> 01:45:26,972
Yes, these are our pyjamas.
2145
01:45:27,006 --> 01:45:28,474
We got them out just for now.
2146
01:45:28,632 --> 01:45:31,681
It's been a wonderful evening
of comedy and community action.
2147
01:45:31,802 --> 01:45:34,976
It's now time to celebrate
the most important people in the room.
2148
01:45:35,014 --> 01:45:36,641
BOTH: You guys!
2149
01:45:36,682 --> 01:45:40,061
Yeah, that's right.
Like I said at the start,
2150
01:45:40,144 --> 01:45:44,149
this show would just be a reflection
of who you are.
2151
01:45:44,189 --> 01:45:48,069
If you were all boring, then this
entire thing would've been a flop,
2152
01:45:48,152 --> 01:45:52,828
but no, this show was funny
and creative and interesting
2153
01:45:52,907 --> 01:45:55,330
because that is what you made it.
2154
01:45:55,367 --> 01:45:58,712
So can you give yourselves
a round of applause please.
2155
01:45:58,829 --> 01:46:01,548
- Yeah.
- Yes! Thank you.
2156
01:46:01,916 --> 01:46:05,841
Well, it's time to celebrate you guys
with the Golden I awards.
2157
01:46:05,920 --> 01:46:09,345
Check out this little statue,
made it ourselves.
2158
01:46:09,423 --> 01:46:12,677
Technically, it's two statues
tied together, but
2159
01:46:12,718 --> 01:46:16,689
you know, it's Dan and Phil, it's got
the colours of the show going on.
2160
01:46:16,722 --> 01:46:20,101
- So, you see what we went for there.
- We're also naked. Look at those butts.
2161
01:46:21,435 --> 01:46:24,860
Okay, I now realise that two naked men
2162
01:46:24,897 --> 01:46:26,365
strapped together probably isn't
2163
01:46:26,440 --> 01:46:29,068
the best symbol for Dan and Phil
we could have come up with,
2164
01:46:29,693 --> 01:46:33,698
but apparently you love Dan and Phil
craft so much, we're not good at this.
2165
01:46:33,781 --> 01:46:36,284
- On to our first award...
- Which was...
2166
01:46:36,367 --> 01:46:39,587
The most inaccurate prediction
of Interactive Introverts.
2167
01:46:39,703 --> 01:46:42,957
Now, before this tour started,
a lot of you were like,
2168
01:46:43,040 --> 01:46:45,543
what the hell are they gonna
do on stage for two hours?
2169
01:46:45,584 --> 01:46:49,634
And some of you, you got it right.
The things that happened here today.
2170
01:46:49,713 --> 01:46:53,559
- Others of you got it so wrong.
- So wrong.
2171
01:46:53,592 --> 01:46:56,311
Like, really? That's what you thought
was gonna happen tonight?
2172
01:46:56,387 --> 01:47:00,733
- And this is your time to shine.
- Our first nomination is,
2173
01:47:01,225 --> 01:47:02,397
Lexi!
2174
01:47:03,268 --> 01:47:05,987
(READING)
2175
01:47:06,897 --> 01:47:09,241
Two bros chilling on a sofa.
2176
01:47:09,316 --> 01:47:11,614
One feet apart because they're stuck.
2177
01:47:11,735 --> 01:47:14,579
They have been
browsing the Internet for days.
2178
01:47:14,613 --> 01:47:16,741
They haven't seen sunlight or water.
2179
01:47:16,782 --> 01:47:18,830
They're gonna die on the couch.
Yep, that's us.
2180
01:47:18,909 --> 01:47:21,833
That would be us. We're never gonna
escape the sofa crease.
2181
01:47:21,912 --> 01:47:24,461
Our next nominee is,
2182
01:47:24,581 --> 01:47:26,254
BOTH: William.
2183
01:47:26,291 --> 01:47:29,761
(READING) Two hours of dabbing
in complete silence.
2184
01:47:32,089 --> 01:47:34,933
- What would that be like?
- Curtain raises, ahem.
2185
01:47:38,971 --> 01:47:41,850
That would've been a better show.
2186
01:47:41,932 --> 01:47:44,310
Okay, that could've happened.
It was our backup idea.
2187
01:47:45,269 --> 01:47:46,521
The winner is...
2188
01:47:46,603 --> 01:47:51,109
By far the worst prediction of all
comes from...
2189
01:47:51,191 --> 01:47:56,288
BOTH: Syd. (READING)
2190
01:47:56,363 --> 01:47:57,785
- Oh.
- Wow.
2191
01:47:59,199 --> 01:48:00,951
That would not surprise me at all.
2192
01:48:01,035 --> 01:48:04,460
I can literally see that
happening very easily.
2193
01:48:04,496 --> 01:48:07,124
Well, I'm so glad
that you haven't died yet, Phil.
2194
01:48:07,207 --> 01:48:08,675
- Thanks.
- There we go.
2195
01:48:08,792 --> 01:48:13,172
Our next award celebrates the heroes
in the room with us tonight.
2196
01:48:13,297 --> 01:48:19,475
We are, of course, talking about
the parents that were forced to be here.
2197
01:48:19,511 --> 01:48:22,310
(READING)
2198
01:48:22,347 --> 01:48:23,394
Oh, yes.
2199
01:48:23,474 --> 01:48:24,851
We scoured the lobby looking
2200
01:48:24,975 --> 01:48:28,980
for the most bored, confused,
terrified parent out there.
2201
01:48:29,063 --> 01:48:31,816
They really don't want to be here, okay.
2202
01:48:31,899 --> 01:48:35,073
But you were like,
I need you to drive me.
2203
01:48:35,152 --> 01:48:38,656
And they were like,
Oh, why did I ever have kids?
2204
01:48:38,697 --> 01:48:41,496
And this is to say, thank you.
2205
01:48:41,533 --> 01:48:44,161
Our first nominee is...
2206
01:48:44,828 --> 01:48:46,421
BOTH: Terri.
2207
01:48:46,497 --> 01:48:51,503
Oh, my gosh. Terri just made it outside
and got dragged back in the door.
2208
01:48:51,585 --> 01:48:56,091
She would rather be watching the paint
on her nails dry than sit through this.
2209
01:48:56,173 --> 01:48:58,426
I am so sorry
that you had to be here, Terri.
2210
01:48:58,550 --> 01:49:01,178
Sorry. Our next nominee is...
2211
01:49:01,261 --> 01:49:04,014
We have Marla.
2212
01:49:04,848 --> 01:49:07,522
Just looking for some
kind of escape in the air.
2213
01:49:07,559 --> 01:49:10,403
Marla is looking up
to God for salvation.
2214
01:49:10,521 --> 01:49:12,899
Marla, there is no God in this house.
2215
01:49:13,357 --> 01:49:15,359
But the winner is...
2216
01:49:15,400 --> 01:49:19,871
By far the biggest sour-puss
in the land, it is...
2217
01:49:20,697 --> 01:49:22,040
BOTH: Bill!
2218
01:49:23,200 --> 01:49:27,626
Oh, my gosh. Is that a yawn
or just a physical scream of pain?
2219
01:49:27,704 --> 01:49:29,377
I think he’s just screaming in anger.
2220
01:49:29,456 --> 01:49:31,299
He looks like he's ready to actually do
2221
01:49:31,375 --> 01:49:34,128
a Choke Me Daddy
and not in a good way.
2222
01:49:34,211 --> 01:49:36,259
- You know what I'm sayin'?
- Wow.
2223
01:49:37,214 --> 01:49:39,467
To Bill and to everybody else
2224
01:49:39,550 --> 01:49:42,224
that was forced to be here
against their will,
2225
01:49:42,386 --> 01:49:44,639
thank you for your sacrifice.
2226
01:49:44,721 --> 01:49:47,395
Heroes, every single one of you.
2227
01:49:47,474 --> 01:49:52,071
Yeah. Our next award
is for the furry friends among us.
2228
01:49:52,104 --> 01:49:58,908
Fluffy not furry. We've covered furry.
We are talking about pets in...
2229
01:49:59,069 --> 01:50:03,074
The best pet dressed as,
Dan and/or Phil.
2230
01:50:03,240 --> 01:50:07,962
Oh, yes. We asked you to dress up
your pets as the two of us.
2231
01:50:08,078 --> 01:50:09,421
And let's see what you sent in.
2232
01:50:09,454 --> 01:50:12,003
Our first nomination comes from...
2233
01:50:12,291 --> 01:50:15,135
- Kiera!
- Oh my gosh!
2234
01:50:15,252 --> 01:50:18,256
Oh, my God! That is incredible.
2235
01:50:18,755 --> 01:50:24,353
We have the Phil glasses, a plaid shirt,
the cereal and a succulent, people.
2236
01:50:24,428 --> 01:50:26,180
That actually looks like me.
2237
01:50:26,263 --> 01:50:28,982
What are you the real Phil,
or are you a dog, right now?
2238
01:50:29,099 --> 01:50:31,818
- Honestly, I can't even tell.
- I can't tell the difference.
2239
01:50:31,935 --> 01:50:34,108
That is incredible. Thank you, Kiera.
2240
01:50:35,314 --> 01:50:38,363
Our next nominee. This one comes from...
2241
01:50:38,442 --> 01:50:39,614
Kaylee.
2242
01:50:40,485 --> 01:50:42,704
It's the Dan plant.
2243
01:50:44,114 --> 01:50:48,335
Let's be honest, that facial expression
is very accurate, right.
2244
01:50:48,452 --> 01:50:51,126
That cactus has no soul, neither do I.
2245
01:50:51,288 --> 01:50:54,132
- But slight bit of critique.
- Yeah.
2246
01:50:54,208 --> 01:50:56,461
The plant is alive, I am dead inside.
2247
01:50:56,543 --> 01:50:59,968
- So almost, but pretty good.
- Very true.
2248
01:51:00,005 --> 01:51:01,848
But the winner is...
2249
01:51:01,965 --> 01:51:06,186
The best pet dressed as
Dan and/or Phil comes from...
2250
01:51:07,179 --> 01:51:09,307
BOTH: Kenzie!
2251
01:51:09,348 --> 01:51:11,897
- Oh!
- Ahhh!
2252
01:51:11,975 --> 01:51:13,568
It's the pastel guinea pigs.
2253
01:51:13,644 --> 01:51:16,318
- Oh, my God! I want to eat them.
- Same.
2254
01:51:16,480 --> 01:51:17,481
You know what I'm saying?
2255
01:51:17,564 --> 01:51:23,162
That is the cutest thing.
It has a tiny lettuce. That is too much.
2256
01:51:23,195 --> 01:51:26,199
Thank you, Kenzie,
for that incredible content.
2257
01:51:26,323 --> 01:51:27,996
Thank you.
2258
01:51:28,033 --> 01:51:31,253
But there's only time
for one more award this evening.
2259
01:51:31,328 --> 01:51:34,707
- And this is the big one.
- The big boy.
2260
01:51:34,831 --> 01:51:37,801
The "Giving The People
What They Want" award.
2261
01:51:37,834 --> 01:51:41,054
This award goes to the one thing
2262
01:51:41,171 --> 01:51:45,221
that all of you want
to see us do the most.
2263
01:51:45,342 --> 01:51:51,190
And whatever wins this award,
we will do live on stage...
2264
01:51:51,306 --> 01:51:53,183
BOTH: Right now.
2265
01:51:53,350 --> 01:51:57,025
So, hope you're ready 'cause this is it.
2266
01:51:58,188 --> 01:52:00,316
The first nominee is...
2267
01:52:01,066 --> 01:52:03,694
(READING)
2268
01:52:03,735 --> 01:52:05,362
(ALL CHEERING)
2269
01:52:05,404 --> 01:52:09,910
The fabled Phil vs himself challenge
that you never put on YouTube.
2270
01:52:10,033 --> 01:52:11,330
- No.
- That would be something.
2271
01:52:11,368 --> 01:52:13,211
The next nominee is...
2272
01:52:13,870 --> 01:52:15,747
(READING)
2273
01:52:17,082 --> 01:52:20,712
All right, I guess that's something
people know I can do
2274
01:52:20,752 --> 01:52:22,720
but I've never shown it before.
Fair enough.
2275
01:52:23,046 --> 01:52:24,719
And our final nominee is...
2276
01:52:24,881 --> 01:52:29,352
(READING)
2277
01:52:30,721 --> 01:52:36,694
Some tough contenders
but there can only be one winner.
2278
01:52:37,269 --> 01:52:39,897
And the winner is...
2279
01:52:42,733 --> 01:52:46,237
BOTH: It's the video of the dog!
2280
01:52:46,737 --> 01:52:50,787
All right. Are you ready?
Let's play this video.
2281
01:52:52,284 --> 01:52:54,036
DAN: Here we go.
2282
01:52:54,703 --> 01:52:56,250
It's so majestic.
2283
01:52:56,288 --> 01:52:59,087
- This is amazing.
- Trample me.
2284
01:53:02,919 --> 01:53:06,389
Have you ever seen anything
this beautiful?
2285
01:53:07,758 --> 01:53:11,934
- Come to me, come to me. Whoo.
- Wow.
2286
01:53:12,054 --> 01:53:13,271
Well, I don't know about you
2287
01:53:13,388 --> 01:53:17,939
but that was the highlight
of my entire life, right there. Whoo.
2288
01:53:18,935 --> 01:53:22,781
And there we go. I hope that
you have all enjoyed the show.
2289
01:53:22,814 --> 01:53:26,239
Wait, but, Dan, if we're giving
the people what they want,
2290
01:53:26,276 --> 01:53:28,654
surely we could do something else
from that list as well.
2291
01:53:29,112 --> 01:53:34,118
Okay. No, no, no.
There can only be one winner,
2292
01:53:34,242 --> 01:53:36,119
otherwise it would ruin the point.
2293
01:53:36,161 --> 01:53:38,129
Plus, it was a lovely dog video.
2294
01:53:38,246 --> 01:53:41,420
So I don't... What?
What is it?
2295
01:53:41,458 --> 01:53:44,632
Phil, what're you doing?
They voted for the dog. Don't do this.
2296
01:53:44,753 --> 01:53:46,630
- Please don't do this. Oh, God.
- Take this.
2297
01:53:48,423 --> 01:53:50,972
It's time for something fresh
from two years ago.
2298
01:53:51,009 --> 01:53:52,852
I am so sorry this is happening.
2299
01:53:52,969 --> 01:53:56,690
Why not be amazing?
You're about to get Philled in.
2300
01:53:56,807 --> 01:53:58,104
Here we go.
2301
01:53:58,141 --> 01:54:01,816
# My name's Phil Lester
thankfully not Noel
2302
01:54:01,937 --> 01:54:05,282
# It's finally time
to make my Diss Track yo
2303
01:54:05,315 --> 01:54:08,660
# You thought I was
too innocent to roast myself
2304
01:54:08,693 --> 01:54:12,493
# Watch out bitch
this might be bad for your health
2305
01:54:12,614 --> 01:54:15,709
# A YouTube dinosaur has channels
older than your mum
2306
01:54:15,826 --> 01:54:19,330
# So insanely clumsy
always falling on his bum
2307
01:54:19,454 --> 01:54:23,004
# Some people think he's weird
'cause he doesn't like cheeses
2308
01:54:23,333 --> 01:54:26,633
# He's so fricking pale
you'd think the sun gave him diseases #
2309
01:54:28,004 --> 01:54:30,974
Yeah, I just rhymed
cheeses with diseases.
2310
01:54:31,007 --> 01:54:32,350
He did that.
2311
01:54:32,467 --> 01:54:34,390
This is only gonna get more brutal.
2312
01:54:34,511 --> 01:54:38,141
So you might want to call an ambulance
for me or for yourself.
2313
01:54:38,181 --> 01:54:39,683
Drop it, Phil.
2314
01:54:40,684 --> 01:54:42,527
# He's called amazing Phil
# What?
2315
01:54:42,561 --> 01:54:43,687
# Why's he so great?
# Don't know
2316
01:54:43,812 --> 01:54:47,191
# For 10 years
he had hair from 2008
2317
01:54:47,232 --> 01:54:50,702
# All that time hiding
behind the fringe
2318
01:54:50,735 --> 01:54:54,706
# And on top of all that
he's secretly ginge
2319
01:54:54,865 --> 01:54:58,039
# He quiffed it up
what was this a re-brand?
2320
01:54:58,160 --> 01:55:01,585
# If he didn't dye it black
he'd be totally bland
2321
01:55:01,705 --> 01:55:05,505
# But innocent', whatever
wait till you 're in private
2322
01:55:05,542 --> 01:55:08,716
# Mouth so dirty
you sound like a pirate
2323
01:55:08,837 --> 01:55:12,182
# They call you an angel
you know that's a lie
2324
01:55:12,215 --> 01:55:16,061
# 'Cause don't wanna
get demonetised
2325
01:55:16,094 --> 01:55:18,517
# You think he's so sweet
he won't even say crap
2326
01:55:18,555 --> 01:55:19,602
# He won't!
2327
01:55:19,723 --> 01:55:22,727
# I bet you'd even censor
and swear in this rap
2328
01:55:22,851 --> 01:55:25,400
No, no, Phil, you're not allowed
to swear on stage.
2329
01:55:25,562 --> 01:55:27,735
- I can't swear?
- I will censor you so don't try it.
2330
01:55:27,856 --> 01:55:30,200
- Don't be so (BLEEP).
- Oh! Okay.
2331
01:55:30,233 --> 01:55:33,703
- No, seriously, Phil we'll get fined.
- What the (BLEEP)
2332
01:55:33,737 --> 01:55:35,865
- Please get back to rapping.
- Okay.
2333
01:55:35,906 --> 01:55:36,953
Here we go.
2334
01:55:37,073 --> 01:55:41,123
# You like a badly Photoshopped
Benedict Cumberbatch
2335
01:55:41,244 --> 01:55:43,918
# Now I realise
nothing rhymes with Cumberbatch
2336
01:55:44,039 --> 01:55:45,086
What?
2337
01:55:45,123 --> 01:55:47,797
# So I guess
this verse doesn't rhyme
2338
01:55:47,918 --> 01:55:51,092
Okay, that's it, I'm done.
Sorry, I'm leaving. Bye.
2339
01:55:51,213 --> 01:55:54,558
# I better get going
and end the dance
2340
01:55:54,633 --> 01:55:58,263
# I murdered this beat
like I murder house plants
2341
01:55:58,386 --> 01:56:01,560
# You can 't keep a cactus
why do you want a dog?
2342
01:56:01,640 --> 01:56:04,940
# I'd give it three weeks
until the funeral vlog
2343
01:56:05,477 --> 01:56:08,606
# Don't get me started
on that guy called Dan
2344
01:56:08,647 --> 01:56:12,151
# The reason I'm here
his people shit ban
2345
01:56:12,275 --> 01:56:15,905
# More followers than me
I'm living in his shadow
2346
01:56:15,946 --> 01:56:20,417
# Next thing you know
he'll be playing the piano #
2347
01:56:20,450 --> 01:56:22,794
(PIANO PLAYING)
2348
01:56:22,827 --> 01:56:24,795
(LOUD CHEERING)
2349
01:56:32,128 --> 01:56:34,506
Hey there, everybody.
How're you doin'?
2350
01:56:34,631 --> 01:56:36,850
-(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
- All right. All right.
2351
01:56:37,676 --> 01:56:40,304
This is a little improvised number.
2352
01:56:40,428 --> 01:56:45,650
It's a true story
about two guys called Dan and Phil.
2353
01:56:45,767 --> 01:56:47,144
(CLEARS THROAT)
2354
01:56:48,270 --> 01:56:50,614
Come, have a seat here, buddy.
2355
01:56:52,482 --> 01:56:53,699
All right.
2356
01:56:54,442 --> 01:56:56,991
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
2357
01:56:57,988 --> 01:57:03,495
# Once upon a time
there was a boy named Dan
2358
01:57:03,618 --> 01:57:09,716
# With brown emo hair
and a weird brown tan
2359
01:57:10,458 --> 01:57:15,385
# He spent a lot of time
on the Internet alone
2360
01:57:15,505 --> 01:57:21,512
# Then on YouTube
he found a place to call home
2361
01:57:21,636 --> 01:57:24,355
You know where this is going.
2362
01:57:24,472 --> 01:57:29,820
# A magical world of skateboarding cats
2363
01:57:29,853 --> 01:57:36,156
# Of vloggers and filmmakers
and some big-headed twats
2364
01:57:37,527 --> 01:57:42,374
# But Dan enjoyed this world
on his own until
2365
01:57:42,407 --> 01:57:48,505
# He met a black-haired emo
called Amazing Phil
2366
01:57:48,538 --> 01:57:51,587
- That's you.
- That's me.
2367
01:57:51,708 --> 01:57:57,681
# This Phil guy, he was weird
but also pretty rad
2368
01:57:57,714 --> 01:58:04,768
# He talked about his life
and he, er, wore a lot of plaid
2369
01:58:04,888 --> 01:58:09,894
# Dan wanted to join in
but he couldn't make his clips
2370
01:58:10,018 --> 01:58:14,444
# So he asked
hey, buddy, can I have
2371
01:58:14,564 --> 01:58:17,568
# Some editing tips
2372
01:58:17,609 --> 01:58:20,704
All right, Phil. Time to join in.
2373
01:58:20,737 --> 01:58:22,865
Wait, what're you doing?
Phil, no, don't do this.
2374
01:58:22,906 --> 01:58:25,250
# Shut up, Dan, this piano is whack
2375
01:58:25,367 --> 01:58:26,414
DAN: Really?
2376
01:58:26,451 --> 01:58:28,579
# People love the rap, so Philly is back
2377
01:58:28,620 --> 01:58:29,712
You think they love the rap?
2378
01:58:29,746 --> 01:58:32,625
# So you'd better hurry up
with the story of this track
2379
01:58:32,749 --> 01:58:36,049
# We've been friends for 10 years
they all know the tale
2380
01:58:36,127 --> 01:58:39,256
# If he didn't know me
he'd be sat in jail
2381
01:58:39,339 --> 01:58:40,841
DAN: Oh, would I?
Would I be in jail?
2382
01:58:40,924 --> 01:58:42,597
No, he's looking at me
like this is a betrayal.
2383
01:58:42,676 --> 01:58:43,848
DAN: Yes, this is a betrayal.
2384
01:58:43,927 --> 01:58:46,726
# I guess it's time to bail #
2385
01:58:46,763 --> 01:58:50,518
Really, you're just gonna leave,
are you?
2386
01:58:50,600 --> 01:58:53,069
Phil, Phil come back here, right now.
2387
01:58:53,103 --> 01:58:55,276
Phil. Take off the hat.
2388
01:58:55,397 --> 01:58:59,447
I think people might prefer
if you pause the rapping
2389
01:58:59,526 --> 01:59:03,702
and joined in with the piano singing
instead. Right, guys?
2390
01:59:03,780 --> 01:59:07,375
Okay, okay. Phil,
just stand in the middle,
2391
01:59:07,450 --> 01:59:09,953
sing something nice about the audience.
Can you do that?
2392
01:59:10,078 --> 01:59:11,125
Yeah.
2393
01:59:12,205 --> 01:59:15,300
# The future's unclear
but I know this is true
2394
01:59:15,417 --> 01:59:18,887
# You're as important to us
as we are to you
2395
01:59:19,462 --> 01:59:22,636
# We didn't know we'd make it this far
2396
01:59:22,716 --> 01:59:27,313
# But now we're on a stage
and here we are #
2397
01:59:29,305 --> 01:59:30,932
Very good, Phil, very good.
2398
01:59:30,974 --> 01:59:34,478
Sorry, but you're kneeling in the way
of my spotlight right now.
2399
01:59:34,602 --> 01:59:35,774
- Oh.
- Yeah.
2400
01:59:35,812 --> 01:59:37,906
This is the Dan and Phil show,
2401
01:59:37,981 --> 01:59:41,076
not the Phil and background
piano guy show.
2402
01:59:41,151 --> 01:59:43,449
Should we sing this together instead?
2403
01:59:43,486 --> 01:59:45,614
-(ALL CHEERING LOUDLY)
- All right.
2404
01:59:46,573 --> 01:59:49,793
So what are we forwarding
the story to now?
2405
01:59:49,826 --> 01:59:53,831
# 'Cause we're two
interactive introverts
2406
01:59:55,331 --> 01:59:57,754
# Interactive introverts
2407
01:59:59,252 --> 02:00:02,426
# We don 't care if it hurts or not
2408
02:00:02,505 --> 02:00:06,180
# We just want to give the people
what they want
2409
02:00:06,301 --> 02:00:09,521
# Because we're interactive introverts
2410
02:00:10,597 --> 02:00:12,270
Hey, you know, it's funny that
2411
02:00:12,348 --> 02:00:15,192
we've been friends for so long
and we haven't fallen out yet?
2412
02:00:15,310 --> 02:00:18,814
Well, there's plenty of stuff for us
to argue about, Phil.
2413
02:00:18,855 --> 02:00:20,607
# Your houseplants that die
2414
02:00:20,690 --> 02:00:22,363
# You don't go outside
2415
02:00:22,484 --> 02:00:24,202
# Your vision is blurry
2416
02:00:24,319 --> 02:00:25,821
# You are a furry
2417
02:00:25,862 --> 02:00:29,332
# We're starting to fight
which means that this is too long
2418
02:00:29,365 --> 02:00:33,461
# I guess we might not make it
to the end of this song
2419
02:00:33,536 --> 02:00:37,211
# 'Cause we're two
interactive introverts
2420
02:00:39,000 --> 02:00:40,718
# Interactive introverts
2421
02:00:42,545 --> 02:00:46,140
# Thanks for watching
and for all of the memes
2422
02:00:46,216 --> 02:00:49,470
# It's been terrible
for our self-esteem
2423
02:00:49,552 --> 02:00:52,556
# Because we're interactive introverts
2424
02:00:53,890 --> 02:00:55,733
# Interactive introverts
2425
02:00:57,519 --> 02:01:00,693
# We don 't care if it hurts or not
2426
02:01:00,730 --> 02:01:04,735
# We just want to give the people
2427
02:01:04,859 --> 02:01:08,739
# What they want #
2428
02:01:10,198 --> 02:01:12,542
(LOUD CHEERING)
2429
02:01:23,044 --> 02:01:25,342
BOTH: Thank you, everybody!
2430
02:01:26,881 --> 02:01:28,098
Thanks and good night.
2431
02:01:28,216 --> 02:01:29,593
Hope you all enjoyed the show.
2432
02:01:29,676 --> 02:01:31,223
Thank you for coming, everybody.
2433
02:01:31,261 --> 02:01:33,013
- Thanks, guys.
- Thank you.
2434
02:01:33,096 --> 02:01:34,598
- Thanks, everyone.
- We'll see you later.
2435
02:01:34,722 --> 02:01:36,065
- Thank you, guys.
- Thanks, guys.
2436
02:01:36,182 --> 02:01:38,935
PHIL: Hope you had a good time.
Thank you for coming.
2437
02:01:39,102 --> 02:01:41,070
Everyone at the back over there.
2438
02:01:41,187 --> 02:01:45,943
We appreciate you leaving the house
to come see two nerds from YouTube.
2439
02:01:46,025 --> 02:01:50,371
Thank you! And we will see you
back on the Internet.
2440
02:01:50,446 --> 02:01:53,199
- Good bye, everybody.
- Bye!
2441
02:01:53,283 --> 02:01:55,251
(LOUD CHEERING)
201007
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