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1
00:00:00,016 --> 00:00:08,974
[cheerful music]
2
00:00:09,007 --> 00:00:10,281
Water.
3
00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:12,419
Mother nature's piss.
4
00:00:12,452 --> 00:00:14,654
And it's what brings us
here today, together.
5
00:00:14,687 --> 00:00:19,100
The unveiling of my luxurious,
brand new swimming pool.
6
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:20,933
That's right.
I did this.
7
00:00:20,966 --> 00:00:22,941
My own brother,
8
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:25,642
so full of envy
over my success,
9
00:00:25,683 --> 00:00:28,516
that son of a bitch didn't even
show up here today.
10
00:00:28,581 --> 00:00:29,916
But his wife showed up.
11
00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:32,423
Cassie, big ups to you
for being supportive.
12
00:00:32,456 --> 00:00:34,865
You've got much bigger balls
than your husband does.
13
00:00:34,898 --> 00:00:36,466
Much better man than him.
14
00:00:36,531 --> 00:00:38,466
Mere months ago,
15
00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:41,977
I was in the darkest, dirtiest,
shittiest hole of my life.
16
00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:45,781
Standing in a crowded room
while my wife was being honored.
17
00:00:45,822 --> 00:00:48,190
And I was miserable.
18
00:00:48,255 --> 00:00:50,856
But finally, all the struggles
and sleepless nights...
19
00:00:50,897 --> 00:00:52,533
[Gene] Dixie. Dixie?
20
00:00:52,598 --> 00:00:54,643
Dixie!
21
00:00:54,676 --> 00:00:56,510
Get out of here, Gene.
Security, get him
22
00:00:56,543 --> 00:00:57,646
- the fuck out of here.
- I need to talk to you, baby.
23
00:00:57,679 --> 00:00:59,615
I love you! What the
fuck are you doing?
24
00:00:59,648 --> 00:01:02,090
- Get off me!
- Gene...
25
00:01:02,123 --> 00:01:03,756
- No adulterers allowed.
- [Gene] Put me the fuck down, asshole!
26
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:07,142
- Loser.
- Anyway, what I was saying was
27
00:01:07,175 --> 00:01:10,210
even though things were
that dark, I persevered.
28
00:01:10,251 --> 00:01:12,914
And I never stopped going
for what I wanted.
29
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,222
And now look what's happened.
30
00:01:14,255 --> 00:01:17,395
Oops. Somebody got a
salt water motherfucking pool.
31
00:01:17,428 --> 00:01:20,838
That's right. So let
the deep sparkly waters
32
00:01:20,871 --> 00:01:22,406
serve as a symbol
to each of you,
33
00:01:22,439 --> 00:01:24,343
that if you work hard enough,
34
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,207
you dream big enough,
35
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,377
anything is possible.
36
00:01:28,418 --> 00:01:30,483
[cheering and applause]
37
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Pool's open, y'all!
38
00:01:32,457 --> 00:01:35,796
Woo-hoo!
39
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:40,805
Whoo!
40
00:01:40,838 --> 00:01:42,071
Wooo!
41
00:01:42,112 --> 00:01:43,745
$5,000 suit, y'all.
42
00:01:43,778 --> 00:01:46,791
$5,000 suit and I
don't even care! Wooo!
43
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:52,563
[theme music plays]
44
00:01:52,628 --> 00:01:55,808
[wolf howling]
45
00:01:55,841 --> 00:01:57,273
My pool party was the shit.
46
00:01:57,306 --> 00:01:59,346
Now bring them
big old titties over here.
47
00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:01,347
- Come on.
- Listen to me.
48
00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:04,453
What were you meaning when you
were talking about my award today.
49
00:02:04,486 --> 00:02:06,992
You said that
you were miserable.
50
00:02:07,025 --> 00:02:09,545
Mmm. I think maybe you need to
stop paying attention to that shit
51
00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:11,735
and you need
to come over here...
52
00:02:11,768 --> 00:02:13,408
...and suck on that dick.
53
00:02:13,441 --> 00:02:14,672
Not happening.
54
00:02:14,705 --> 00:02:16,978
- I'm about to buy that pussy then.
- Don't buy it.
55
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:19,086
- Whoo. Look at this.
- Hm-mm.
56
00:02:19,119 --> 00:02:20,791
- I think I'm about to pay for this shit.
- Don't get close to me.
57
00:02:20,856 --> 00:02:22,486
- You can not do that.
- I can do it.
58
00:02:22,519 --> 00:02:23,926
- It's happening right now.
- Not gonna accept it.
59
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,254
I'm bout to fucking make it
rain on your head. Come on.
60
00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:27,262
- Rick... Ross. Rick... Ross.
- Take it back.
61
00:02:27,295 --> 00:02:29,431
- Shake it, girl. Shake it.
- Look at you. No.
62
00:02:29,464 --> 00:02:31,937
- Shake it.
- Look at you being so obnoxious with money.
63
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:34,238
Why you trying to cause
class warfare on my ass here?
64
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,080
Insult a man 'cause I'm trying
to share my wealth.
65
00:02:36,113 --> 00:02:38,281
I think that
you're losing touch.
66
00:02:38,314 --> 00:02:39,713
- Speaking of losing touch.
- What?
67
00:02:39,754 --> 00:02:40,586
- Honk.
- No.
68
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:41,819
- [laughter]
- No.
69
00:02:41,891 --> 00:02:44,357
You know, I've been
talking to Tel and Viv
70
00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:46,126
about their therapist
that they're seeing.
71
00:02:46,159 --> 00:02:47,327
- A therapist?
- Yep.
72
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,232
Some motherfucker
with a little flute?
73
00:02:49,265 --> 00:02:50,399
- [making noise]
- No.
74
00:02:50,432 --> 00:02:51,502
Makes a fucking cobra
come out of a basket.
75
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,566
Listen, Viv said that
76
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,773
they're therapist has
helped them communicate better.
77
00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:57,068
Na-na-na-na-na-na.
78
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,234
Therapists, all they do is
79
00:02:58,267 --> 00:03:00,441
they try to fucking
smooth everybody out,
80
00:03:00,474 --> 00:03:02,042
keep everybody even,
walking in a straight line.
81
00:03:02,076 --> 00:03:03,379
I got no interest in that.
82
00:03:03,412 --> 00:03:05,179
The only kind of therapy
you need
83
00:03:05,212 --> 00:03:06,979
is that ding-a-ling therapy.
84
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,546
Not in the mood tonight.
85
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,745
You playing?
Well, too bad, baby doll.
86
00:03:10,786 --> 00:03:13,018
You're on the clock.
I done just bought that pussy.
87
00:03:13,051 --> 00:03:14,525
- This shit's paid for.
- [chuckles]
88
00:03:14,558 --> 00:03:17,124
We in Thailand. [in accent] Come on, le boy.
Dance for me.
89
00:03:17,157 --> 00:03:19,060
- Good night. Good night.
- Make dance for me.
90
00:03:19,093 --> 00:03:21,492
- Thai boy, dance for me.
- Nobody is... Good night.
91
00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:22,997
Come here, let me spit on you.
92
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:31,711
Good night.
93
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:34,218
Yeah, yeah.
Stop, drop, open up shop.
94
00:03:34,251 --> 00:03:36,188
Look up here, y'all.
95
00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:39,357
I return to you victorious.
Just like I promised I would.
96
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:41,323
I won that motherfucking
Dragon Boat race,
97
00:03:41,356 --> 00:03:44,355
and with the winnings, I've
turned this disgusting field
98
00:03:44,428 --> 00:03:47,091
into a state-of-the-art
little league facility.
99
00:03:47,132 --> 00:03:49,363
I got rid of the sofa.
God rid of the hypodermics,
100
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:53,406
the tampons. Got rid of the goddamn
thrown up sizzurp that was everywhere.
101
00:03:53,439 --> 00:03:56,310
- The orange drank.
- All that drank-drank is gone.
102
00:03:56,343 --> 00:03:58,606
And on top of it,
I also hooked y'all up
103
00:03:58,647 --> 00:03:59,974
with some new gear.
104
00:04:00,047 --> 00:04:01,752
[high-pitched humming]
105
00:04:01,817 --> 00:04:03,552
Whoomp. There it all is.
106
00:04:03,585 --> 00:04:05,686
Come. Enjoy, my childrens.
107
00:04:05,719 --> 00:04:08,852
Yeah, yeah. Go on in there.
Break you off some.
108
00:04:08,885 --> 00:04:12,126
Enjoy new things for the very
first time in your lives.
109
00:04:12,159 --> 00:04:13,990
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck?
110
00:04:14,023 --> 00:04:15,264
Is that kid stealing the shit?
111
00:04:15,329 --> 00:04:18,198
- I think so.
- Go get his ass.
112
00:04:18,232 --> 00:04:20,831
Hey! Off the bike!
Get your poor ass off the bike!
113
00:04:20,864 --> 00:04:22,840
Come on, man. He's getting half
way down the fucking street.
114
00:04:22,873 --> 00:04:24,537
- [motor starts]
- Punch it!
115
00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:28,177
[kid] Hey, man.
That's my bike!
116
00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:29,913
That motherfucker's
an assassin.
117
00:04:29,946 --> 00:04:32,251
So let that be a lesson
to you guys, all right?
118
00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:33,314
Question. Yes. Ja Rule.
119
00:04:33,347 --> 00:04:35,050
- Who are you?
- [Kenny] Who am I?
120
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:36,953
[chuckles]
121
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:39,186
I'm your handsome white Jesus,
motherfucker.
122
00:04:39,219 --> 00:04:40,322
Yeah.
123
00:04:40,388 --> 00:04:46,164
[Sports Sesh theme music]
124
00:04:46,197 --> 00:04:48,837
- [cheering]
- [announcer] Yes, yes, y'all.
125
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:53,935
It's time for the Sports Sesh.
126
00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:56,070
What's happening?
127
00:04:56,103 --> 00:04:57,735
What's happening?
128
00:04:57,768 --> 00:04:59,137
All right,
all right, all right.
129
00:04:59,178 --> 00:05:02,207
Well, welcome back to another
sesh of Sports Sesh.
130
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,677
I'm Guy Young and, uh...
131
00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:06,812
Let's address
the elephant in the room,
132
00:05:06,845 --> 00:05:09,812
we lost another co-host.
Unfortunately, Jed Forney,
133
00:05:09,884 --> 00:05:12,348
a very dear friend,
he left the show.
134
00:05:12,381 --> 00:05:14,915
And he won't be coming back.
He left for personal reasons,
135
00:05:14,956 --> 00:05:17,282
and, um... Well,
I don't know what they are.
136
00:05:17,322 --> 00:05:19,291
And, quite frankly,
I don't care.
137
00:05:19,324 --> 00:05:20,556
[laughter]
138
00:05:20,629 --> 00:05:22,556
Let's move on to our
first hot topic
139
00:05:22,596 --> 00:05:23,763
and she is hot.
140
00:05:23,796 --> 00:05:26,626
Cat Cora, "Iron Chef"
from the Food Network.
141
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,361
- [cheers and applause]
- Are you kidding me?
142
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:31,296
Ha-ha. How you doing, darling?
Good to see you.
143
00:05:31,368 --> 00:05:32,567
- You too.
- Aw. You look great.
144
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,903
Good to be here.
Thank you.
145
00:05:33,936 --> 00:05:36,041
[Guy] All right. Well, it's
playoff time. Let's get into it.
146
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,240
- Well, I'm making Gameday Nachos.
- Mmm.
147
00:05:38,273 --> 00:05:40,303
- First, you start with a bean and cheese base.
- Mm-hmm.
148
00:05:40,344 --> 00:05:42,838
- And then we add aromatics.
- Aroma... you got...
149
00:05:42,911 --> 00:05:43,973
- [Cat] Things like onions.
- [Guy] I love onions.
150
00:05:44,006 --> 00:05:45,844
Just don't kiss your girlfriend
right afterwards.
151
00:05:45,877 --> 00:05:46,941
[laughs] That's right.
152
00:05:46,981 --> 00:05:48,909
- And jalape?o peppers.
- Wow.
153
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:50,948
[Kenny] Jalape?o peppers?
154
00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:52,345
Kenny's cutting in.
155
00:05:52,378 --> 00:05:53,775
- [Cat] Uh-oh.
- [bell dinging]
156
00:05:53,816 --> 00:05:56,849
- [cheers and applause]
- [Sports Sesh theme music]
157
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:57,985
- [Kenny] Ha-ha!
- Uh-oh.
158
00:05:58,018 --> 00:06:00,557
Kenny, get back over there
with the co-hosts, OK?
159
00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:02,494
Behave yourself. Get over there.
160
00:06:02,527 --> 00:06:04,692
- [inaudible]
- [excited chatter]
161
00:06:04,733 --> 00:06:06,826
Get back...
Get back over there.
162
00:06:06,859 --> 00:06:09,100
Cat, you know why I love jalape?o
peppers so goddamn much?
163
00:06:09,132 --> 00:06:11,437
- Why's that, Kenny?
- Oh, because they're so spicy!
164
00:06:11,502 --> 00:06:14,573
Goddamn, they're spicy.
165
00:06:14,606 --> 00:06:18,043
We making something. Maybe
it's nachos, maybe it's a kid.
166
00:06:18,076 --> 00:06:20,309
- Who knows.
- [laughter]
167
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,149
I gotta ask you a question here,
Cat.
168
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,613
- Yeah.
- Have you ever seen
169
00:06:23,646 --> 00:06:25,621
a human motherfucker eat a
shitload of peppers before?
170
00:06:25,654 --> 00:06:27,516
- Oh...
- Uh, I don't know, Kenny.
171
00:06:27,549 --> 00:06:28,916
Those peppers are pretty hot.
172
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,617
Oh. Who wants to see me eat
50 of these in a minute?
173
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:33,216
- [Guy] Oh...
- [cheering]
174
00:06:33,256 --> 00:06:34,656
I don't think
we have time for that.
175
00:06:34,688 --> 00:06:36,687
You do. You at home do.
176
00:06:36,719 --> 00:06:39,126
Ready? One.
Count 'em off, everybody.
177
00:06:39,159 --> 00:06:40,661
- [all] One!
- [Cat] Those are pretty hot.
178
00:06:40,694 --> 00:06:43,393
- Yeah. Go, Kenny. Go.
- Here he goes.
179
00:06:43,426 --> 00:06:45,591
- [all] Three!
- Three. [awkward chuckle]
180
00:06:45,624 --> 00:06:47,222
So hot!
181
00:06:47,255 --> 00:06:50,157
- [all] Four!
- I can't believe it. Just...
182
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:53,092
- Gluttonous.
- [chanting] Kenny! Kenny!
183
00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:54,900
[Kenny] So hot!
184
00:06:54,933 --> 00:06:56,131
- [grunts]
- Come on, Kenny.
185
00:06:56,164 --> 00:06:58,962
- [crowd] Ahh.
- [Kenny] Oh God!
186
00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:06,333
[Mexican hip-hop]
187
00:07:06,366 --> 00:07:08,374
Mas cervezas!
188
00:07:08,407 --> 00:07:11,605
Goddamn. Look at your kids.
Little Mexican jumping beans.
189
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:12,908
Here you go, more beers.
190
00:07:12,941 --> 00:07:14,936
- Yeah. There you go,
- [chuckles]
191
00:07:14,969 --> 00:07:16,840
Graciosas, Marias.
192
00:07:16,873 --> 00:07:18,040
De nada, de nada, Kenny.
193
00:07:18,072 --> 00:07:19,943
Guess I should make some food?
194
00:07:19,976 --> 00:07:22,143
Nah, baby.
Just business right now.
195
00:07:22,216 --> 00:07:26,514
- OK.
- Come here. Come here.
196
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,347
[both groaning]
197
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:32,420
- Oh yeah.
- I want you so badly.
198
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:35,723
Uh, hey. OK.
Hey. What the fuck.
199
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,320
- Oh yeah.
- Come on.
200
00:07:37,354 --> 00:07:39,424
You wait for me
in the bedroom, bitch.
201
00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:41,791
- [Maria] OK.
- Put that pussy on ice.
202
00:07:41,824 --> 00:07:43,695
[laughs]
203
00:07:43,728 --> 00:07:47,758
Me and Maria been fucking like cave
people since I've been getting paid, man.
204
00:07:47,799 --> 00:07:50,565
My dick's all pruny from being
up in that sweet punany.
205
00:07:50,598 --> 00:07:52,795
Sounds like 50 Shades of Grossto me, motherfucker.
206
00:07:52,828 --> 00:07:54,034
- Ha-ha.
- Now it's time for you
207
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,330
to take out
that notepad software.
208
00:07:55,363 --> 00:07:56,570
I want to talk
a little bidness.
209
00:07:56,603 --> 00:07:58,201
Mm-hmm.
210
00:07:58,234 --> 00:08:00,535
What do you have in mind
to talk about today?
211
00:08:00,568 --> 00:08:01,967
Well, there's no doubt
my stock is soaring.
212
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,136
I'm more recognizable
than I have ever been.
213
00:08:04,177 --> 00:08:05,905
- True.
- I think it's high time we finally cash in
214
00:08:05,946 --> 00:08:08,848
on these lucrative opportunities
that my fame has brought upon us.
215
00:08:08,881 --> 00:08:13,509
Yeah, OK. I like this.
Tell me more.
216
00:08:13,582 --> 00:08:16,918
I think it's time Kenny Powers opens
up a motherfucking restaurant chain.
217
00:08:16,951 --> 00:08:20,085
- [gasps] Are you serious?
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:08:20,118 --> 00:08:21,556
Oh... Yes.
219
00:08:21,589 --> 00:08:24,985
The concept...
Well, it's simply brilliant.
220
00:08:25,018 --> 00:08:26,585
It's TNT.
You know what it stands for?
221
00:08:26,626 --> 00:08:28,320
It's like a code or something.
222
00:08:28,353 --> 00:08:30,759
Oh yeah.
The "T" is for taters.
223
00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:34,665
"N" is for and.
And the final "T"...
224
00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:37,663
...Tits. 'Cause all
the waitresses at TNT
225
00:08:37,696 --> 00:08:41,866
- have huge tits. Taters 'N' Tits.
- Oh my God.
226
00:08:41,899 --> 00:08:44,001
How on earth did you
even think of this?
227
00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:45,569
How does any genius
figure out his inventions?
228
00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,999
I mean, how did Leonardo DiCaprio
figure out about gravity?
229
00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:50,400
'Cause the bitch was sleeping underneath
a tree and an apple hit him on his head.
230
00:08:50,441 --> 00:08:53,408
This is amazing.
I'm all over this.
231
00:08:53,473 --> 00:08:57,076
Whew. Look at the men
we've become, huh. [chuckles]
232
00:08:57,109 --> 00:09:00,542
And on a personal side note, those
contacts are doing wonders for your look.
233
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:04,083
- Oh... Oh, thank you.
- You got those Paul Walker eyes.
234
00:09:04,148 --> 00:09:06,881
I'm thinking about fixing
my other weak zones too.
235
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:07,849
Oh, like your chin?
236
00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:09,851
Wha...
237
00:09:09,884 --> 00:09:11,282
My ch...
What's wrong with my chin?
238
00:09:11,323 --> 00:09:13,753
See, it's almost just like
a high neck fold.
239
00:09:13,818 --> 00:09:16,151
From your profile here,
it's just face
240
00:09:16,192 --> 00:09:18,052
down to tits.
It's just nothing.
241
00:09:18,085 --> 00:09:20,651
It's like a fucking little nub
at the bottom of your face.
242
00:09:20,692 --> 00:09:30,728
Yeah, my chin is shitty.
243
00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:32,295
Goddamn it.
244
00:09:32,328 --> 00:09:33,966
[truck door shuts]
245
00:09:33,999 --> 00:09:37,075
OK. Look, Kenny is here.
246
00:09:37,108 --> 00:09:39,909
Don't freak out, OK?
He brought gifts for the boys.
247
00:09:39,942 --> 00:09:44,578
Honey, he wants forgiveness.
All right?
248
00:09:44,611 --> 00:09:47,945
- Maybe just hear him out.
- [gunfire]
249
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:53,091
[rock music playing]
250
00:09:53,124 --> 00:09:56,426
Oh! Fuck yeah! Huh?
Love that shit.
251
00:09:56,459 --> 00:09:58,090
Doesn't it feel good? Man, you
just take that deep breath.
252
00:09:58,123 --> 00:10:00,960
Bow! Shoot a man
right in his heart. Ha-ha.
253
00:10:00,993 --> 00:10:03,265
Meatloaf, how you
liking that guitar?
254
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,601
- It's the shit, huh?
- [Dustin Jr] Yeah.
255
00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:05,665
- [Kenny] Yeah.
- Hey!
256
00:10:05,698 --> 00:10:07,698
Yo, Dustin.
What's up?
257
00:10:07,738 --> 00:10:09,673
- I came to buy back your forgiveness.
- The fuck are you doing
258
00:10:09,705 --> 00:10:11,637
- giving my kid an assault rifle.
- Hey, man.
259
00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:12,902
Dustin Jr
is a well adjusted kid.
260
00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:14,576
He's responsible enough
to own an assault rifle.
261
00:10:14,609 --> 00:10:17,240
Notice I didn't get Wayne one.
I'm thinking this thing through.
262
00:10:17,281 --> 00:10:18,912
Take it back.
Return it.
263
00:10:18,945 --> 00:10:20,216
You should hold on to that, man.
They're about to ban that shit.
264
00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:21,616
I'm trying to protect your
household. How much?
265
00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:22,648
- What are you doing?
- Come on.
266
00:10:22,681 --> 00:10:24,417
How much is your
forgiveness worth?
267
00:10:24,450 --> 00:10:26,291
Put your money away.
Take the damn rifle.
268
00:10:26,356 --> 00:10:28,261
Say a number.
I'll break you a piece off.
269
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,696
No. Not a chance. Take it. Take the guitar.
Get the fuck off my property.
270
00:10:31,737 --> 00:10:34,030
God, Dustin. Can't you just
grow up for a second?
271
00:10:34,071 --> 00:10:36,839
I'm trying to reach out to you and
be the bigger man, all right?
272
00:10:36,872 --> 00:10:39,306
I... love you, brother.
273
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,345
And I just wanna
discuss our issues.
274
00:10:41,378 --> 00:10:43,513
I'm just trying to
make good here, all right?
275
00:10:43,546 --> 00:10:45,377
I don't know how to fucking
make up with people, all right?
276
00:10:45,449 --> 00:10:47,048
It's not something
I usually do.
277
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:48,785
But for whatever reason,
it's important to me
278
00:10:48,818 --> 00:10:51,222
that you and I
are just not enemies.
279
00:10:51,263 --> 00:10:53,894
It just doesn't feel right. I feel like
things are all fucked up and gross
280
00:10:53,927 --> 00:10:56,135
just because you and I aren't friends.
I don't like it.
281
00:10:56,168 --> 00:10:59,272
Dustin, he is clearly hurting.
I mean, look at him.
282
00:10:59,305 --> 00:11:01,411
Ow. Owie.
283
00:11:01,444 --> 00:11:04,444
- OK. Come on. Be the bigger man.
- I'm hurting. Help me.
284
00:11:04,509 --> 00:11:06,074
[Cassie] OK.
Just tell him how you feel.
285
00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:07,476
You wanna get
into this right here?
286
00:11:07,481 --> 00:11:09,143
I'd love to, brother.
287
00:11:09,216 --> 00:11:11,480
For one thing,
you really hurt me.
288
00:11:11,513 --> 00:11:14,292
- When you... when you faked your own death.
- I know.
289
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:15,589
And we were all really worried,
Kenny.
290
00:11:15,622 --> 00:11:16,759
- [cell phone chimes]
- Hold on for one second.
291
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:18,030
Just, my shit's
blowing up real quick.
292
00:11:18,063 --> 00:11:19,692
- Kenny, I'm talking to you.
- Yeah. Oh, fuck.
293
00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,193
- I thought we were gonna...
- Guy Young just text me.
294
00:11:21,226 --> 00:11:23,023
Kenny, you just said
you wanted to talk about this.
295
00:11:23,056 --> 00:11:25,591
No, I do but, yeah.
It's Guy Young. He's my boss.
296
00:11:25,632 --> 00:11:26,663
- It's work, so...
- [phone chimes]
297
00:11:26,696 --> 00:11:28,734
[laughing]
298
00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:30,766
This motherfucker sends
the funniest emoticons.
299
00:11:30,799 --> 00:11:32,901
- Put the phone away.
- [phone chimes]
300
00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:34,363
Oh, he wants me
to come out to the lake.
301
00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:36,372
[chuckles] OK, look.
You're obviously upset.
302
00:11:36,406 --> 00:11:39,438
I can see that. Why don't you
just gather your thoughts.
303
00:11:39,511 --> 00:11:41,342
Really think about
what's hurting you
304
00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:43,278
and then figure out a good way
to like, formulay it
305
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,878
- that everyone can understand.
- Formulate it.
306
00:11:44,911 --> 00:11:46,118
That's what I said, all right?
307
00:11:46,151 --> 00:11:48,319
Love you guys.
Really nice to see everyone.
308
00:11:48,352 --> 00:11:53,764
Before I go...
309
00:11:53,797 --> 00:12:09,181
Love you guys.
310
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
311
00:12:16,718 --> 00:12:21,790
What the fuck is that?
312
00:12:21,823 --> 00:12:25,199
[Guy] Whoa. There he is,
Kenny Powers.
313
00:12:25,232 --> 00:12:28,904
Guy! [laughs]
314
00:12:28,937 --> 00:12:32,439
- What's up, KP?
- You look cool as fuck out there, dude!
315
00:12:32,472 --> 00:12:36,681
- Woo!
- [Kenny] It's fucking priceless.
316
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:39,715
- Woo!
- Holy shit!
317
00:12:39,748 --> 00:12:42,853
- [Kenny] Goddamn.
- Pretty impressive little unit, huh?
318
00:12:42,917 --> 00:12:44,284
Dude, that's it. I'm fucking
getting one of those.
319
00:12:44,325 --> 00:12:46,492
- That's the shit.
- Yeah, well, they're about
320
00:12:46,525 --> 00:12:48,124
a quarter million a pop, so...
321
00:12:48,157 --> 00:12:50,892
I think they might be a little
bit out of your range there, KP.
322
00:12:50,933 --> 00:12:51,964
I might have to check
with the wife.
323
00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:53,262
[laughter]
324
00:12:53,303 --> 00:12:55,200
I still think it might be
a little out of your range.
325
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,240
Well, we'll see.
I'll check with my wife.
326
00:12:57,273 --> 00:12:59,639
Speaking of which, I wanted to talk
to you about the show for a minute.
327
00:12:59,672 --> 00:13:01,839
- OK, yeah. What's up?
- Look. Kenny,
328
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,511
I don't wanna... I don't
wanna hurt your feelings,
329
00:13:03,544 --> 00:13:05,544
you know what I mean? But
I feel like you need to take
330
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,882
your performance down...
a little bit on the show.
331
00:13:07,923 --> 00:13:10,388
- Just take it down a notch.
- Oh yeah?
332
00:13:10,421 --> 00:13:12,691
I'm just doing
what you told me to do.
333
00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:14,724
Just being myself, man. Wild
card's gonna be wild, right?
334
00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:16,535
- [laughter]
- Sure, sure.
335
00:13:16,568 --> 00:13:18,137
But... [sighs]
If I'm being honest,
336
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:19,538
I'm starting to see
shades of Dontel here.
337
00:13:19,571 --> 00:13:22,979
- Ew, yuck. Are you serious?
- Little bit.
338
00:13:23,013 --> 00:13:24,349
I mean, case in point.
339
00:13:24,382 --> 00:13:26,816
You know how nobody
came over for the nacho bit?
340
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,520
But you came over
for the nacho bit.
341
00:13:28,585 --> 00:13:31,088
You don't have to come over for every bit.
You know what I mean?
342
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,958
- You don't have to do that.
- Well, I mean,
343
00:13:32,991 --> 00:13:34,821
I just was kinda feeling
the vibe of the audience.
344
00:13:34,854 --> 00:13:35,956
You know, I thought
I had 'em in stitches.
345
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,493
Right, right.
But if you come over
346
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,433
and you eat the peppers and
then I can't eat the peppers
347
00:13:39,466 --> 00:13:43,537
then I'm left with no options. I'm
painted into a corner, right?
348
00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,306
I look like a fucking boob.
349
00:13:45,339 --> 00:13:47,074
Well, dude, I'm not trying to
make you look like boobs.
350
00:13:47,107 --> 00:13:49,506
I just... I didn't think eating
peppers was like your thing.
351
00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:51,978
It's not about the
goddamn peppers, Kenny!
352
00:13:52,011 --> 00:13:54,648
OK? It's about
your place on the show.
353
00:13:54,713 --> 00:13:56,948
I mean, like this
fucking jet pack.
354
00:13:56,981 --> 00:13:59,379
I spent my whole life
working my ass off
355
00:13:59,412 --> 00:14:00,777
to afford something like this
356
00:14:00,811 --> 00:14:02,080
and then you walk up
and you're like,
357
00:14:02,113 --> 00:14:03,479
"Hey, I'm gonna get me
one of those."
358
00:14:03,512 --> 00:14:05,109
No, you're not,
motherfucker. No.
359
00:14:05,149 --> 00:14:06,748
One, because
you can't afford it
360
00:14:06,781 --> 00:14:08,547
and, two, because you haven't
fucking earned it.
361
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:10,250
- Got it?
- I wasn't talking about getting one right now.
362
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,912
I just meant like, eventually it
would be cool to like, go buy one.
363
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:16,548
No, but you shouldn't even be
thinking about jet packs, Kenny.
364
00:14:16,581 --> 00:14:18,984
OK? You're not there yet.
365
00:14:19,017 --> 00:14:20,847
And this Kenny cutting in shit,
366
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,247
that's gotta go, OK?
367
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,285
Those one-on-ones,
that's my shit.
368
00:14:24,318 --> 00:14:26,178
That's my domain, got it?
369
00:14:26,219 --> 00:14:27,552
People seem to like the
"Kenny's cutting in."
370
00:14:27,585 --> 00:14:28,879
Oh, God.
Kenny, fucking A, man.
371
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,553
Listen to what I'm saying.
All right?
372
00:14:31,586 --> 00:14:34,023
Everything we do, we do
for the best of the show.
373
00:14:34,056 --> 00:14:36,116
- And for you.
- Yeah, and for me.
374
00:14:36,156 --> 00:14:37,482
Motherfucker.
Yeah, that's right.
375
00:14:37,587 --> 00:14:39,322
Because I'm the star
of the show. Not you, me.
376
00:14:39,355 --> 00:14:43,060
I'm the fucking star.
OK?
377
00:14:43,092 --> 00:14:45,330
- Yeah, OK. I got it.
- You cool with that?
378
00:14:45,363 --> 00:14:48,557
Yeah, you're the main star
of the show.
379
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:50,259
OK.
380
00:14:50,325 --> 00:14:53,166
Just remember, Kenny...
381
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,705
...not everybody can fly,
buddy.
382
00:14:56,770 --> 00:15:08,010
Not everybody can fly.
383
00:15:08,043 --> 00:15:14,375
[screams]
384
00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:19,320
- [robot footsteps]
- [robot] See ya.
385
00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:28,930
Don't stay out too late, dude.
386
00:15:28,963 --> 00:15:31,559
Now, Kenny. I've been doing
a lot of thinking.
387
00:15:31,599 --> 00:15:33,230
You know how you said we don't
wanna be fucking Pinkberry?
388
00:15:33,263 --> 00:15:35,063
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, what do you think
389
00:15:35,103 --> 00:15:37,903
about starting with something
along the lines of...
390
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:41,177
Boom! That kiosk right there.
391
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:43,610
Check it out.
This is how it's gonna work.
392
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,085
First, we'll get people's
attention with how hot
393
00:15:46,118 --> 00:15:48,316
and how banging
our waitresses are, right?
394
00:15:48,349 --> 00:15:51,218
And then, when they walk over,
they're gonna smell those
395
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,123
baked potatoes cooking
in the microwave
396
00:15:53,156 --> 00:15:54,788
and ka-ching!
397
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:57,093
We're making money, money,
money, money, money.
398
00:15:57,126 --> 00:15:59,429
No diggity, no doubt.
I like to bag it up.
399
00:15:59,502 --> 00:16:02,870
This is fucking wonderful, homes. I'm
loving how you sexualized the food.
400
00:16:02,935 --> 00:16:04,272
This is perfect
for a shopping mall.
401
00:16:04,305 --> 00:16:05,545
It's very sexy.
402
00:16:05,578 --> 00:16:07,742
The only thing I'm seeing
I'd like to put an amend on,
403
00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:10,110
perhaps a little more room
here for the fixins.
404
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,311
You know what
I'm talking about?
405
00:16:11,376 --> 00:16:13,680
Ooh. We're gonna have
a lot of fixins?
406
00:16:13,713 --> 00:16:16,354
Dude, we're gonna have so many fucking
fixins up in this motherfucker.
407
00:16:16,387 --> 00:16:19,554
We call the sauce station
the sauce rack.
408
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,362
- Ooh!
- Get it? Goes with the tit theme.
409
00:16:21,395 --> 00:16:23,059
- Oh yeah.
- So every single sauce
410
00:16:23,093 --> 00:16:25,366
needs to have a
double entendre sexual name.
411
00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:27,400
- Do you understand?
- Instead of bacon bits, bacon tits.
412
00:16:27,441 --> 00:16:29,672
- Ooh. That's fucking good. Hell yeah.
- Yeah.
413
00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:31,303
This shit's gonna go
through the roof, man.
414
00:16:31,344 --> 00:16:33,540
Goddamn, I'm shitting
gold these days.
415
00:16:33,573 --> 00:16:35,573
Kinda makes me wonder
why the hell so many people
416
00:16:35,614 --> 00:16:37,076
are trying to tell me
to slow down.
417
00:16:37,109 --> 00:16:38,444
Seems like motherfuckers
should be
418
00:16:38,477 --> 00:16:40,413
shutting the hell up
and enjoying the show.
419
00:16:40,446 --> 00:16:43,087
Who the fuck is trying to
tell you to fucking slow down?!
420
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,192
- Guy Young, for one. Yeah.
- Oh.
421
00:16:46,225 --> 00:16:47,888
Telling me I'm becoming
too popular too quick.
422
00:16:47,929 --> 00:16:49,262
I need to lower my energy.
423
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:52,097
I mean, goddamn, dude.
I'm reaching my potential.
424
00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:55,000
The audience loves me and now he wants
me to adhere to his leadership?
425
00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:56,570
I ain't trying
to hear that, see?
426
00:16:56,603 --> 00:16:59,111
Well, Kenny, we got a
good thing going here, right?
427
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:02,217
I finally got the respect
of my wife and kids.
428
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:03,953
You have a fucking pool.
429
00:17:03,985 --> 00:17:05,951
Guy Young, he's been
in this business a long time.
430
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:08,783
So maybe you should just,
you know,
431
00:17:08,823 --> 00:17:10,624
follow his lead
and listen to him.
432
00:17:10,657 --> 00:17:12,627
Nah. He ain't trying to think
about what the audiences want.
433
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:15,330
Homeboy's scared. He senses
my dangerous potential.
434
00:17:15,363 --> 00:17:16,992
Trying to confine me
to the Scottie Pippen role.
435
00:17:17,033 --> 00:17:18,198
I don't know about that.
436
00:17:18,231 --> 00:17:20,111
I mean, I've been Scottie Pippen
for a while now
437
00:17:20,135 --> 00:17:22,030
and it's pretty awesome.
I mean,
438
00:17:22,063 --> 00:17:25,238
plenty of pussy and cash
for nasty old Scottie Pippen.
439
00:17:25,271 --> 00:17:28,670
Well, that might be all right for
you but I was born to fly, dog.
440
00:17:28,703 --> 00:17:32,680
Michael Jordan. Air Jordan's.
Air Max's. Number 24.
441
00:17:32,745 --> 00:17:41,718
[up tempo music]
442
00:17:41,751 --> 00:17:43,919
Woo!
443
00:17:43,992 --> 00:17:45,689
We are infinite!
444
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:48,792
You looking for that mallet but
this ain't Red Lobster, sweetheart.
445
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,400
They don't give you mallets in the
fucking expensive restaurants.
446
00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:54,266
- [laughs]
- I bet you love sucking on them crab legs
447
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:57,111
as opposed to sucking on some
goddamn therapy too, huh?
448
00:17:57,144 --> 00:18:01,554
Spending money. Drinking
expensive cognac. Mmm.
449
00:18:01,587 --> 00:18:02,786
Go on, girl.
Get that white meat.
450
00:18:02,819 --> 00:18:05,459
Yeah. Keep it down.
Yeah, yeah.
451
00:18:05,492 --> 00:18:07,525
Swallow that load of gold,
baby.
452
00:18:07,558 --> 00:18:09,864
- Kenny, stop it.
- No, but seriously.
453
00:18:09,897 --> 00:18:11,971
You charmed?
454
00:18:12,004 --> 00:18:15,507
No? Not yet?
Well then.
455
00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:18,516
Maybe you ought to take
a look underneath your seat.
456
00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:23,090
[clicks tongue]
Go on.
457
00:18:23,122 --> 00:18:26,561
What?
458
00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:29,226
$3,000 Chanel purse.
Wa-pow.
459
00:18:29,266 --> 00:18:32,635
- Take a look inside.
- Oh my God.
460
00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:36,635
Kindle Paperwhite. Pre-loaded
with over 500 e-books.
461
00:18:36,668 --> 00:18:39,812
Including all of
Dean R. Koontz's novels.
462
00:18:39,845 --> 00:18:41,843
Take a look at that
side pocket. What's in there?
463
00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:43,811
$500. Ha-ha-ha.
464
00:18:43,844 --> 00:18:46,180
Whoa, hold on.
I think I gotta take a shit.
465
00:18:46,213 --> 00:18:48,486
[makes fart sound]
Oh. There's a hundred bucks.
466
00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:50,359
[laughs] Hey, what's that?
467
00:18:50,392 --> 00:18:51,760
- What?
- Something's behind your ear over here.
468
00:18:51,793 --> 00:18:54,125
[makes fart sound]
Hundred dollar bill.
469
00:18:54,157 --> 00:18:56,396
Damn, all this giving's
making me thirsty.
470
00:18:56,429 --> 00:18:58,326
Whoop! Look out.
Chump change.
471
00:18:58,399 --> 00:19:00,304
This is what I was afraid of.
472
00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:03,940
This is... right now what's
happening is my biggest fear.
473
00:19:03,973 --> 00:19:05,653
I feel like you're
not taking me seriously.
474
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:08,444
I feel like you are getting
caught up in the bullshit.
475
00:19:08,477 --> 00:19:11,087
- You're not listening to me.
- OK, I'm listening.
476
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,951
What the fuck do you want me to do?
[chuckles]
477
00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:15,186
I want to go to therapy.
478
00:19:15,219 --> 00:19:16,387
[sighs]
Oh. Jesus Christ.
479
00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:22,765
Please, can we go?
We need it.
480
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:23,796
OK, fine. You know what?
481
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,257
- You wanna go to therapy?
- Yes.
482
00:19:25,362 --> 00:19:26,897
Let's waste our money
on therapy. That's fine.
483
00:19:26,962 --> 00:19:27,962
Not because we can't afford it.
484
00:19:27,995 --> 00:19:29,796
'Cause trust me, sweetheart,
we can afford it.
485
00:19:29,805 --> 00:19:31,303
It's just, my motto's
always been,
486
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:32,903
"Just 'cause you have money
you don't need to be wasting it
487
00:19:32,944 --> 00:19:34,638
on frivolous nonsense."
488
00:19:34,679 --> 00:19:37,174
But if my wife wants
fucking therapy, then,
489
00:19:37,215 --> 00:19:40,382
looks like we're going
to see a therapist.
490
00:19:40,415 --> 00:19:42,286
- Thank you.
- [sighs]
491
00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:44,579
Now then, can we please enjoy
this luxurious dinner?
492
00:19:44,613 --> 00:19:48,314
- Yeah, we can.
- Gar?on.
493
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,523
Finest bottle of
white zinfandel, please.
494
00:19:50,556 --> 00:20:05,935
[opera music]
495
00:20:09,202 --> 00:20:15,741
No. I'm OK.
496
00:20:15,774 --> 00:20:17,878
[whistles]
Bellissima.
497
00:20:17,943 --> 00:20:21,550
[Kenny clapping] Bravo!
498
00:20:21,615 --> 00:20:23,611
Fuck yeah. Bellissima.
499
00:20:23,652 --> 00:20:34,399
Bellissimas.
500
00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:36,352
[whispers] Isn't this the
picture of tranquility?
501
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:38,030
[both chuckle]
502
00:20:38,063 --> 00:20:41,598
Billy. Trent. You guys
can take the children upstairs.
503
00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:43,536
You're relieved of your duties
for this evening.
504
00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:51,778
Thank you for your services.
505
00:20:51,811 --> 00:20:53,347
Good night.
506
00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:56,947
Pleasant dreams.
507
00:20:57,012 --> 00:20:59,581
You know, I'm kinda tired too.
So I'm gonna go to bed.
508
00:20:59,646 --> 00:21:02,277
But, um... I just wanna
thank you for tonight.
509
00:21:02,318 --> 00:21:05,421
Yeah.
510
00:21:05,454 --> 00:21:08,880
Good night.
511
00:21:08,913 --> 00:21:24,294
[sighs]
512
00:21:30,407 --> 00:21:34,207
Oh, stop everything, ladies.
You can't improve on perfection.
513
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,110
- [laughs] Look at you.
- [Kenny] Hell yeah, that's right.
514
00:21:36,143 --> 00:21:37,973
- Good looking.
- Ah, man.
515
00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:41,144
Champion. You ready
to rock today's show?
516
00:21:41,209 --> 00:21:44,406
You know me, Guy. Always ready to bust
a nut on this television audience.
517
00:21:44,439 --> 00:21:46,881
OK. But remember what
we talked about? Right?
518
00:21:46,913 --> 00:21:49,184
Oh yeah. That's what I mean,
like, bust a nut,
519
00:21:49,249 --> 00:21:51,119
but, at the same time,
remember my place.
520
00:21:51,152 --> 00:21:53,780
That's right. So you're
usually about an eleven,
521
00:21:53,821 --> 00:21:56,049
we're gonna bring it down
to a five or a six, OK?
522
00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:59,845
All right. That's what you ask
for, that's what you're gonna get.
523
00:21:59,918 --> 00:22:04,222
Hey.
You're my favorite co-host.
524
00:22:04,255 --> 00:22:06,326
- Thank you.
- [Guy] Nice meeting you.
525
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:10,793
Yeah.
Good to see you again.
526
00:22:10,826 --> 00:22:15,527
Some good advice, Kenny.
Five or a six.
527
00:22:15,592 --> 00:22:21,131
[sighs]
528
00:22:21,164 --> 00:22:24,028
- [audience cheering]
- Welcome back to another session of Sports Sesh.
529
00:22:24,069 --> 00:22:27,467
I'm Guy Young and I don't know how
I got talked into this segment.
530
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:29,898
We're here with Jeff,
the animal expert.
531
00:22:29,939 --> 00:22:31,337
And we have a...
What do we have with us?
532
00:22:31,370 --> 00:22:33,569
It's called a black and white
ruffed lemur.
533
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:35,809
You know those eyes remind me
of Rodney's ex-wife.
534
00:22:35,842 --> 00:22:37,440
- [audience laughs]
- Not cool.
535
00:22:37,473 --> 00:22:40,607
[Guy] Oh, we got another one
coming in. Great.
536
00:22:40,648 --> 00:22:42,088
And what is this?
This isn't a lemur.
537
00:22:42,144 --> 00:22:44,952
This is called an anteater.
A tamandua.
538
00:22:44,985 --> 00:22:46,878
They smell like weed
in an Italian restaurant.
539
00:22:46,919 --> 00:22:48,652
- [Guy] I see that.
- Get in there. Get right in there.
540
00:22:48,685 --> 00:22:50,714
- Get right...
- Ahh, I don't want it to bite me.
541
00:22:50,747 --> 00:22:52,955
I'm seeing so many missed joke
opportunities here.
542
00:22:52,988 --> 00:22:54,221
All right. Hey,
keep an eye on this thing.
543
00:22:54,254 --> 00:22:55,758
- I don't want it...
- I will. You're safe.
544
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:57,292
- Oh, now who's this?
- I promise you. This is Bella.
545
00:22:57,325 --> 00:22:59,553
She's a white belly or
black handed spider monkey.
546
00:22:59,594 --> 00:23:01,592
- Is that right?
- Look, I bet he won't even say anything
547
00:23:01,657 --> 00:23:03,855
- about spanking the monkey.
- [Guy] Mischievous, these monkeys?
548
00:23:03,895 --> 00:23:05,793
[Jeff] Oh yeah. You gotta keep your eye on these guys.
They'll steal your jewelry.
549
00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:08,926
- And when they do that do you ever spank the monkey?
- [audience laughs]
550
00:23:08,967 --> 00:23:11,131
All right. Well, OK.
That was kind of obvious.
551
00:23:11,164 --> 00:23:13,835
- He got that one.
- Would you let me feed Bella? Is that OK?
552
00:23:13,868 --> 00:23:16,668
No. She doesn't take food
from strangers. No.
553
00:23:16,701 --> 00:23:18,036
We do... we teach her the
whole "stranger danger"...
554
00:23:18,069 --> 00:23:19,603
[voices muffled] I see, I see.
Well, that's probably safer
555
00:23:19,636 --> 00:23:29,803
- for both parties.
- Sure.
556
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:31,041
Fuck this.
557
00:23:31,074 --> 00:23:33,747
I think it's time to stop
monkeying around.
558
00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:35,145
- Kenny's cutting in.
- [bell dings]
559
00:23:35,178 --> 00:23:40,747
- [Sports Sesh theme music]
- [cheering]
560
00:23:40,780 --> 00:23:42,876
No, that's all right, Ken. We're
good over here. We're cool.
561
00:23:42,917 --> 00:23:45,251
- We're good. Sit back down.
- [laughs] Cutting in.
562
00:23:45,284 --> 00:23:47,983
Guy, let me take this.
If there's one thing I know,
563
00:23:48,017 --> 00:23:51,284
- it's monkey business.
- [audience laughs]
564
00:23:51,317 --> 00:23:52,149
Oh yeah. Is that right?
565
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:53,782
Do you have a
special relationship
566
00:23:53,823 --> 00:23:56,419
- with monkeys, do you?
- Well, you know I got people in Atlanta.
567
00:23:56,452 --> 00:23:59,122
[laughter]
568
00:23:59,155 --> 00:24:01,355
And they all love Skittles,
red Kool-Aid
569
00:24:01,388 --> 00:24:03,828
and some of them even like...
Froot Loops.
570
00:24:03,861 --> 00:24:06,659
That's right.
Bella, you like Froot Loops?
571
00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:09,393
Oooh. There we go. Huh.
572
00:24:09,434 --> 00:24:13,468
- Oh. Wonderful.
- [all] Aww.
573
00:24:13,501 --> 00:24:15,268
Wonderful.
574
00:24:15,309 --> 00:24:17,769
I think Bella and me are making
a little connection here, huh?
575
00:24:17,802 --> 00:24:20,073
Ooh, I found me
a date to the prom.
576
00:24:20,107 --> 00:24:22,242
Oh yeah.
Put on some Jodeci.
577
00:24:22,315 --> 00:24:25,743
Let's slow dance, Bella.
What you say? What you say?
578
00:24:25,776 --> 00:24:32,581
[soft rock music]
579
00:24:32,614 --> 00:24:35,516
[Kenny] They say greatnesscomes at a cost.
580
00:24:35,549 --> 00:24:38,279
If you want to achievelegendary status,
581
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:39,985
you must makecertain sacrifices.
582
00:24:40,018 --> 00:24:43,593
The demands of othersoften times conflict
583
00:24:43,626 --> 00:24:48,098
with the demands of livingan exceptional life.
584
00:24:48,131 --> 00:24:50,531
It takes a goddamn supermanto meet all the expectations
585
00:24:50,564 --> 00:24:56,204
put upona celebrity figure nowadays.
586
00:24:56,237 --> 00:24:59,875
Could Schwarzenegger have ascended
to the top of both film and politics
587
00:24:59,908 --> 00:25:01,905
if he had actuallygiven a fuck about his family?
588
00:25:01,946 --> 00:25:06,347
Huh. I doubt it.
589
00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:12,550
Would Alexander the Great have conquered
the world if he had dialed it back?
590
00:25:12,616 --> 00:25:16,618
Is it even possible to reconcile the
needs of others with the need to win,
591
00:25:16,651 --> 00:25:32,018
when winning often means defeating
your rivals at any cost?
592
00:25:35,851 --> 00:25:37,858
Any word from your husband?
593
00:25:37,923 --> 00:25:46,190
He must be running late.
594
00:25:46,230 --> 00:25:48,629
[Kenny] I supposeit remains to be seen.
595
00:25:48,662 --> 00:25:55,800
But there is one simple truth that you can
always rely on in this fucked up world.
596
00:25:55,833 --> 00:25:59,170
Victory is it's own reward.
597
00:25:59,881 --> 00:26:09,972
598
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,113
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