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1
00:00:00,062 --> 00:00:02,721
I'm not so sure this
is a good gift for a 5 year old...
2
00:00:02,841 --> 00:00:05,102
It was the perfect gift for Toby.
3
00:00:06,477 --> 00:00:08,817
What do you say, Dustin?
Just put aside our differences?
4
00:00:08,854 --> 00:00:09,714
Not interested.
5
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,110
Kenny!
6
00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:12,910
You'd better come get your wife.
Right now.
7
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:13,923
There you go.
8
00:00:14,043 --> 00:00:15,595
Why don't you hang out with us, Kenny?
9
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:17,272
Cocaine!
10
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,055
Whoa, I'm not doing any coke.
11
00:00:19,175 --> 00:00:20,197
If you tell your wives,
12
00:00:20,219 --> 00:00:22,920
I swear to God, I will tell them
that you slept with those women.
13
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,198
I'm 2-89.
14
00:00:24,229 --> 00:00:25,599
I can come up to your hotel room.
15
00:00:25,719 --> 00:00:27,375
You have family. We can't.
16
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,812
- You don't have to worry about that.
It's fine. - It's too messed up.
17
00:00:29,932 --> 00:00:35,317
18
00:00:35,437 --> 00:00:37,134
Brennan, did you fart in here?
19
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,002
- No. No, no.
- It stinks. You got a stinky ass.
20
00:00:40,122 --> 00:00:42,884
- No, I don't.
- You're a bad boy.
21
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,634
Fuck me.
22
00:00:45,667 --> 00:00:48,857
Shit.
23
00:00:48,890 --> 00:00:50,259
[sighs]
I feel so much better.
24
00:00:50,379 --> 00:00:52,506
I went potty.
Are we ready?
25
00:00:52,547 --> 00:00:54,215
Yeah. I got everything
loaded in.
26
00:00:54,248 --> 00:00:55,823
- Kids are strapped together.
- Good.
27
00:00:55,864 --> 00:00:57,161
Got a bottle of water for you.
28
00:00:57,234 --> 00:00:59,202
OK. Honey, what is that
on your face?
29
00:00:59,235 --> 00:01:02,814
- Uhh... what?
- That mark. Is that a bruise?
30
00:01:02,847 --> 00:01:04,157
I don't know.
No... I don't know.
31
00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:06,067
- Did someone hit you?
- No...
32
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,133
[chuckles]
No. Nobody hit me.
33
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:10,073
Oh, OK. So I'm crazy?
34
00:01:10,106 --> 00:01:12,351
There's a bruise on your jaw.
Who did this to you?
35
00:01:12,384 --> 00:01:15,531
- Gene?
- It's nobo... it's nobody.
36
00:01:15,564 --> 00:01:18,183
Fine. I'll count to three.
One...
37
00:01:18,248 --> 00:01:21,016
- Two...
- Come on.
38
00:01:21,049 --> 00:01:23,457
- All right. It's OK...
- Two and a half...
39
00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:24,989
OK. Kenny Powers.
40
00:01:25,030 --> 00:01:26,432
- Kenny did this?
- [sighs] Yeah.
41
00:01:26,465 --> 00:01:27,603
- We were...
- Were you being bullied?
42
00:01:27,636 --> 00:01:28,874
No. We were singing
and rapping
43
00:01:28,907 --> 00:01:30,749
and we were playing...
doing a scene from Rocky
44
00:01:30,783 --> 00:01:31,982
and he... [clicks]
knocked me...
45
00:01:32,015 --> 00:01:34,422
You were doing
a scene from Rocky?
46
00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:36,135
- And he hit you?
- For... as a joke, yeah.
47
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,490
No. I don't think so.
48
00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:40,195
- I'm gonna call April.
- No, no. Hey. No, no.
49
00:01:40,228 --> 00:01:41,595
- We'll clear this up.
- Do not talk to April.
50
00:01:41,636 --> 00:01:43,067
I will talk to April if I want.
51
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,269
- Hey, I will handle this.
- I'd love to see that.
52
00:01:45,302 --> 00:01:46,270
- I can.
- Can you handle it?
53
00:01:46,303 --> 00:01:47,608
Yes, yes. I can handle it.
54
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,852
- Now will you just let it go?
- OK.
55
00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:52,917
For now, I will let it go.
All right? Let's go.
56
00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:55,824
We have to stop at
the gas station.
57
00:01:55,857 --> 00:01:57,697
I'm all out of pads.
58
00:01:57,730 --> 00:02:04,989
[theme music playing]
59
00:02:05,022 --> 00:02:08,662
In most of nature, the alpha
is the strongest of the pack.
60
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:11,863
Creature of immense strength,
large in size.
61
00:02:11,896 --> 00:02:13,599
A leader from birth.
62
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:15,841
Hippos, bumble bees,
Wayans Brothers...
63
00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:18,108
Most of the time, they just look
to the biggest amongst them.
64
00:02:18,141 --> 00:02:20,476
But not all alphas are born,
children.
65
00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,286
Some animals become great.
66
00:02:22,319 --> 00:02:25,183
They use they mind,
form respect
67
00:02:25,256 --> 00:02:26,759
and build alliances.
68
00:02:26,792 --> 00:02:28,592
Your father has recently
used this technique
69
00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:29,897
to stunning effect.
70
00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:33,193
It is now your turn, my son.
Feed his desires.
71
00:02:33,234 --> 00:02:37,971
Give Dakota this
chicken chow mein.
72
00:02:38,004 --> 00:02:38,909
- [growling]
- There you go.
73
00:02:38,942 --> 00:02:41,449
Don't be scared, Toby.
No fear.
74
00:02:41,482 --> 00:02:43,619
You are his master.
75
00:02:43,652 --> 00:02:45,684
Toby, goddammit, he ain't
gonna be able to reach that.
76
00:02:45,725 --> 00:02:49,063
And that's not even feeding him.
You're cock teasing him.
77
00:02:49,096 --> 00:02:50,559
[announcer]
It's the Ultimate Sports Sesh
78
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:51,805
- Double Dog Challenge.
- [audience chanting]
79
00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:53,064
And right now it looks like
it's come down
80
00:02:53,097 --> 00:02:54,568
to a two man race.
81
00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:56,504
And now it's the
breakfast of champions.
82
00:02:56,537 --> 00:02:57,641
The apple pie, whipped cream,
83
00:02:57,674 --> 00:02:59,780
followed by downing
a can of beer.
84
00:02:59,814 --> 00:03:01,478
- [shouting]
- Here comes Kenny Powers
85
00:03:01,511 --> 00:03:03,247
- through the birth canal.
- [audience cheering]
86
00:03:03,288 --> 00:03:06,385
It looks like it's gonna be
Jed Forney and Guy Young
87
00:03:06,426 --> 00:03:08,322
in a dead heat around
the baseball bat spin.
88
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:12,395
Powers is bibbing up.
Jimmy Clay's with a can of beer.
89
00:03:12,428 --> 00:03:14,565
Now atop the balance beam,
90
00:03:14,598 --> 00:03:17,574
duel's underway
and down goes Guy Young.
91
00:03:17,607 --> 00:03:19,943
Jed Forney on his way
to the pyramid.
92
00:03:19,976 --> 00:03:23,575
Three steps the top.
Two, one. He's there.
93
00:03:23,616 --> 00:03:25,914
- He reaches for the flag.
- [bell dinging]
94
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:27,283
- He's won.
- Yeah!
95
00:03:27,324 --> 00:03:30,096
- [cheering]
- [announcer] Jed Forney,
96
00:03:30,129 --> 00:03:32,800
the winner of
the Ultimate Sports Sesh
97
00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:35,432
Double Dog Challenge.
98
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,767
Good race, man.
99
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,335
[announcer] We'll be back
with more Sports Sesh
100
00:03:39,368 --> 00:03:41,704
right after this.
101
00:03:41,737 --> 00:03:43,608
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
102
00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:44,808
What the fuck were you
thinking about?
103
00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:46,144
How you gonna beat Guy Young
on his own show?
104
00:03:46,177 --> 00:03:48,944
Fuck. So stupid.
105
00:03:48,985 --> 00:03:51,281
- Just a idiot.
- You guys are hilarious.
106
00:03:51,353 --> 00:03:53,819
Do you really think Guy Young's
gonna be upset with you
107
00:03:53,852 --> 00:03:55,061
because you beat him on a silly
little obstacle course?
108
00:03:55,094 --> 00:03:56,957
- You don't know Guy Young.
- Uh, excuse me.
109
00:03:56,998 --> 00:03:58,123
I played baseball
with the motherfucker.
110
00:03:58,164 --> 00:04:00,593
- I think I know Guy Young.
- This ain't baseball.
111
00:04:00,626 --> 00:04:01,657
[Jed] That was a long time ago,
Kenny.
112
00:04:01,698 --> 00:04:03,496
Guy's the sorest loser there is.
113
00:04:03,529 --> 00:04:05,096
Throws a damn fit.
114
00:04:05,129 --> 00:04:06,896
Ask Dontel
if you don't believe me.
115
00:04:06,929 --> 00:04:08,568
Oh, an ex-embittered employee.
116
00:04:08,601 --> 00:04:10,104
I'm sure he's a great
judge of character.
117
00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:12,905
Well, ask Rodney.
He ain't no trash talker.
118
00:04:12,938 --> 00:04:13,977
- Tell him.
- Tell him, Rodney.
119
00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:15,673
- He can be fucked up.
- Yeah?
120
00:04:15,706 --> 00:04:18,842
Come on, man. You and I
are show mates, dude.
121
00:04:18,914 --> 00:04:21,278
I got your back. I'll make sure
nobody fucks with you.
122
00:04:21,311 --> 00:04:25,548
Thanks, Kenny.
That means a lot.
123
00:04:25,581 --> 00:04:27,883
- KP.
- Saved you a seat, homeboy.
124
00:04:27,916 --> 00:04:30,248
- [both laugh]
- KP has found his niche.
125
00:04:30,281 --> 00:04:34,213
He is hysterical out there.
They're loving you, my man.
126
00:04:34,246 --> 00:04:35,582
Oh yeah, dog.
I'm loving my stage charisma.
127
00:04:35,615 --> 00:04:37,390
- [chuckles]
- Well, I like it too.
128
00:04:37,455 --> 00:04:38,918
I like it too.
I'm glad you're here, KP.
129
00:04:38,959 --> 00:04:41,127
I don't wanna sound weird, Guy.
130
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,264
But, I mean, you're just...
131
00:04:43,297 --> 00:04:45,065
...fastly becoming...
132
00:04:45,098 --> 00:04:46,730
...my very best friend, dude.
133
00:04:46,770 --> 00:04:48,697
I don't just throw that around.
134
00:04:48,738 --> 00:04:51,170
You know,
I had a very best friend.
135
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:53,739
He passed away suddenly.
Overdose of cocaine.
136
00:04:53,772 --> 00:04:55,476
He was all alone by himself
in his apartment.
137
00:04:55,509 --> 00:04:58,614
After my experiences
with Shane Dog,
138
00:04:58,647 --> 00:05:00,054
I, uh...
139
00:05:00,087 --> 00:05:02,316
I never thought I'd have a very
best friend like him again.
140
00:05:02,349 --> 00:05:03,515
Best friends
are very cool to be.
141
00:05:03,556 --> 00:05:06,125
Pff. Fucking very best friends
are fucking dope to be.
142
00:05:06,158 --> 00:05:07,125
[both laugh]
143
00:05:07,158 --> 00:05:08,629
What are you doing
this weekend?
144
00:05:08,662 --> 00:05:10,396
Me? I need to check
my Palm Pilot.
145
00:05:10,429 --> 00:05:11,364
But I think I'm just chilling.
146
00:05:11,397 --> 00:05:13,026
Yeah? I'm hosting
a charity event.
147
00:05:13,059 --> 00:05:14,825
It's the Dragon Boat Classic.
148
00:05:14,858 --> 00:05:16,791
Oh, Dragon Boat.
149
00:05:16,832 --> 00:05:19,569
That sounds like that might be
Asian in origin, am I correct?
150
00:05:19,602 --> 00:05:21,468
- Ah, so it is.
- [laughs]
151
00:05:21,509 --> 00:05:23,908
So what do you say, you wanna go
into battle with me, KP, huh?
152
00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:25,508
You wanna be on my row team?
153
00:05:25,541 --> 00:05:26,811
Because of my martial arts
training,
154
00:05:26,844 --> 00:05:28,975
my muscles are tuned to excel
at oriental activities.
155
00:05:29,009 --> 00:05:30,007
How much does it pay?
156
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,207
[laughing]
No, we don't get paid.
157
00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:32,710
It's charity work, Kenny.
158
00:05:32,743 --> 00:05:34,783
All you gotta do is pick
the charity of your choice
159
00:05:34,816 --> 00:05:35,983
and we're good to go.
160
00:05:36,016 --> 00:05:37,247
Look, I'm not gonna be crazy,
all right.
161
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,248
I'll take this friendship slow
162
00:05:38,281 --> 00:05:40,891
but you've really
turned my life around.
163
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,291
The least I can do is join you
in this charitable battle.
164
00:05:43,324 --> 00:05:44,291
[pounds table] I love it.
165
00:05:44,324 --> 00:05:45,795
OK. Come on.
166
00:05:45,828 --> 00:05:50,699
[yells] Get back,
back, back, back, back.
167
00:05:50,732 --> 00:05:55,340
Ten seconds to blast-off.
168
00:05:55,373 --> 00:05:58,275
It's gonna be so awesome.
169
00:05:58,308 --> 00:06:00,073
- [hip-hop music playing]
- Stevie.
170
00:06:00,106 --> 00:06:01,408
This isn't play time.
171
00:06:01,441 --> 00:06:05,279
I'd love to discuss something
with you, ASAP.
172
00:06:05,312 --> 00:06:07,047
I need you to find me
a charity that I can represent
173
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,017
for this goddamn Dragon Boat
shit I got going on.
174
00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:10,587
- [glass breaking]
- Shut up!
175
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,389
- The fuck?
- Sorry about my kids.
176
00:06:12,422 --> 00:06:15,295
I just realized
that I cannot control them.
177
00:06:15,328 --> 00:06:16,694
Stevie, I need you to
fucking focus up, all right?
178
00:06:16,727 --> 00:06:18,534
I just need you to come up
with a goddamn good cause
179
00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:20,168
I can put my name on.
I need something fucking dope
180
00:06:20,201 --> 00:06:21,433
and I need it quick.
181
00:06:21,474 --> 00:06:22,939
And I know you got
a one track mind right now
182
00:06:22,972 --> 00:06:24,181
so don't be
coming at me with some
183
00:06:24,214 --> 00:06:25,613
"Save the Limp Dick Foundation."
184
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:26,909
Ah. That was what
I was gonna say.
185
00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:29,214
"Save the Limp Dick."
Speaking of,
186
00:06:29,247 --> 00:06:30,414
I went to
the dick doctor today,
187
00:06:30,455 --> 00:06:35,260
and he said that my problem
is 100 percent mental.
188
00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:36,764
So, that's a positive, right?
189
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,834
No! Obviously not because
if it was physical
190
00:06:39,898 --> 00:06:41,000
you could unclog a tube
191
00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:43,298
and then I can get back
to everyday love making.
192
00:06:43,339 --> 00:06:45,419
Scientifically speaking
what's probably going on here
193
00:06:45,436 --> 00:06:47,572
with the fucking
downstairs business is
194
00:06:47,612 --> 00:06:49,676
your boner muscles are looking
at yourself in the mirror
195
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,950
and they're saying, "Jesus
Christ, there's no way in hell
196
00:06:51,982 --> 00:06:54,616
that any woman is ever
gonna fucking let me pump her."
197
00:06:54,657 --> 00:06:56,258
That makes sense, Kenny
198
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,859
I mean, you put zero
to no effort
199
00:06:57,892 --> 00:06:59,290
into your personal appearance.
200
00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,361
I mean, maybe try spending more
than six bucks on a haircut.
201
00:07:01,394 --> 00:07:04,232
You know? Buy shirts that aren't
fucking plum colored.
202
00:07:04,265 --> 00:07:05,232
You don't like plum?
203
00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:07,266
Let the dick guide you,
all right?
204
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:08,804
The dick knows
what it wants to wear.
205
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:11,511
And right now,
the dick wants to be a hunk.
206
00:07:11,544 --> 00:07:13,279
New clothes.
New wardrobe. New Stevie.
207
00:07:13,312 --> 00:07:14,183
Mm-hmm.
208
00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:16,112
The dick wants to be a hunk.
209
00:07:16,153 --> 00:07:17,249
[wolf growls, barks]
210
00:07:17,282 --> 00:07:19,217
Aw, yeah. That's right.
211
00:07:19,258 --> 00:07:21,458
Look at you sexy motherfuckers.
212
00:07:21,491 --> 00:07:23,490
Oh. So sweaty, so raw, so real.
213
00:07:23,523 --> 00:07:25,425
Aw, yeah. Dutch angles.
214
00:07:25,458 --> 00:07:27,192
Rule of thirds up in here.
215
00:07:27,225 --> 00:07:30,926
Pa-pow. That's some Amores Perros
right there, motherfucker.
216
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:33,262
I want y'all to pretend
that you're digging up
217
00:07:33,303 --> 00:07:34,799
the ancient city of El Dorado.
218
00:07:34,832 --> 00:07:36,505
And once you find
these jewels and treasures
219
00:07:36,538 --> 00:07:38,010
it will save your
entire village.
220
00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:39,539
- Kenny.
- Hey, wheel barrow one.
221
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:42,646
Pretend like there's a
Chupacabra chasing your ass.
222
00:07:42,686 --> 00:07:44,581
- There you go, faster.
- [April] Baby.
223
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:48,652
Has Gene and Tel
been weird to you at all?
224
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:51,092
Nah, just boring as usual.
225
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:53,987
I found out that
they had spaghetti night
226
00:07:54,028 --> 00:07:56,662
- without us on Wednesday.
- How could they do that?
227
00:07:56,695 --> 00:07:58,102
I mean, we practically
invented spaghetti night.
228
00:07:58,135 --> 00:08:00,165
Viv let it slip.
229
00:08:00,199 --> 00:08:03,038
I swear something's
going on with them.
230
00:08:03,071 --> 00:08:04,904
Well, you know,
I didn't wanna say anything
231
00:08:04,946 --> 00:08:07,747
but Gene has been fibbing
like a motherfucker lately.
232
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,250
Like what?
233
00:08:09,283 --> 00:08:10,977
Like making up lies about
people's relationships.
234
00:08:11,018 --> 00:08:12,113
Just kind of out of the blue.
235
00:08:12,146 --> 00:08:13,353
With, like,
nothing to base it on.
236
00:08:13,386 --> 00:08:15,018
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, like the other day
237
00:08:15,051 --> 00:08:17,187
he was coming to me
talking about Tel.
238
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:19,596
Saying how Tel's, like,
been going online
239
00:08:19,661 --> 00:08:21,631
doing Chatroulette
trying to get dick sucks.
240
00:08:21,664 --> 00:08:23,000
- [gasps]
- And it's like, Tel?
241
00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:24,231
He like, loves his wife
242
00:08:24,272 --> 00:08:25,735
and he doesn't even know
how to use Chatroulette.
243
00:08:25,768 --> 00:08:27,872
That makes me just question,
like, maybe Gene's
244
00:08:27,905 --> 00:08:29,271
not that happy
in his own marriage.
245
00:08:29,304 --> 00:08:31,806
- Well, he's... he's with Dixie.
- Gross [scoffs]
246
00:08:31,839 --> 00:08:36,182
You know what? I think that she was very
judgy about my drinking at the waterpark.
247
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,185
- Oh, my God.
- What?
248
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,154
- I just figured it out.
- What?
249
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,489
I bet, because
you were drinking,
250
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,822
you probably somehow
offended her
251
00:08:44,856 --> 00:08:46,116
and now she's trying to
turn that shit against you.
252
00:08:46,157 --> 00:08:47,252
- Shit.
- Isolate us out
253
00:08:47,285 --> 00:08:48,453
in the goddamn neighborhood
and pull this.
254
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:50,127
- I knew it. Fuck them?
- Fuck them.
255
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,598
- Yeah.
- Look at all the wonderful things
256
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,629
happening for us.
We're rich as fuck.
257
00:08:53,662 --> 00:08:55,430
We got a goddamn
army of workers here.
258
00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:56,998
We're happier than
we've ever been, right?
259
00:08:57,032 --> 00:08:59,440
- Mm-hmm.
- You see this one right here?
260
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:01,210
You see that little broach
on TT's neck there?
261
00:09:01,243 --> 00:09:02,975
That used to belong to your
great-grandmother.
262
00:09:03,008 --> 00:09:04,608
I used it as an incentive
yesterday for the workers
263
00:09:04,641 --> 00:09:07,176
to see who could do the
best work and he won.
264
00:09:07,217 --> 00:09:10,785
- TT dug the most.
- [sighs]
265
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:17,457
[classical music]
266
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:20,055
I'm thinking I can...
if I get enough loft
267
00:09:20,088 --> 00:09:23,034
- I can get it over that bunker.
- It looks...if you can do the bounce.
268
00:09:23,099 --> 00:09:27,465
[heavy metal music]
269
00:09:27,498 --> 00:09:29,305
[music stops]
270
00:09:29,338 --> 00:09:31,041
What's the word, mean Gene?
271
00:09:31,074 --> 00:09:32,905
How's that jaw feeling,
slugger?
272
00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:35,273
You didn't punch me that hard
so it doesn't hurt that bad.
273
00:09:35,306 --> 00:09:38,510
[chuckles]
Fucking pussy.
274
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:40,140
Look, I know shit got
out of hand the other night.
275
00:09:40,173 --> 00:09:41,340
We all got a little crazy.
276
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:44,748
Drugs, sex, incest.
277
00:09:44,781 --> 00:09:46,578
All right. Let's just relive
the whole evening, Tel.
278
00:09:46,611 --> 00:09:48,080
I was there, motherfucker.
All right?
279
00:09:48,113 --> 00:09:49,247
I know what happened.
Guess what?
280
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,447
I also saw some suspicious
and provocative
281
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,182
behaviors on your half, too.
282
00:09:53,215 --> 00:09:54,781
And I could talk about
those if I wanted to.
283
00:09:54,814 --> 00:09:57,389
[scoffs] What are you talking about, man?
We didn't do anything.
284
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,253
Yeah. I know.
That's what I'm saying, dude.
285
00:09:59,286 --> 00:10:01,326
Neither did I.
No one did anything.
286
00:10:01,359 --> 00:10:02,463
- Fine.
- So let's just drop it.
287
00:10:02,496 --> 00:10:03,592
- Good.
- I know you and Dixie
288
00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:05,329
have been having
little spaghetti nights
289
00:10:05,362 --> 00:10:07,200
and not inviting us.
Yeah. So what.
290
00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:10,166
I don't give a fuck. All right?
But you hurt April's feelings.
291
00:10:10,199 --> 00:10:11,798
And that shit
don't fly with me.
292
00:10:11,839 --> 00:10:15,541
Let's leave the spouses
out of it. Do you hear me?
293
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:17,740
- OK.
- Leave the fucking spouses out if it!
294
00:10:17,774 --> 00:10:19,042
All right, dude.
Chill.
295
00:10:19,075 --> 00:10:21,840
- Now you, Tel.
- I'm sorry.
296
00:10:21,873 --> 00:10:24,101
You got any fucking change?
Where's your fucking change at?
297
00:10:24,142 --> 00:10:25,941
- What do you need change for?
- I'm trying to get a pink lemonade
298
00:10:25,974 --> 00:10:28,045
in this motherfucker. Give me
your money, you guys got change?
299
00:10:28,078 --> 00:10:29,444
[Gene]
No. I got no money on me.
300
00:10:29,477 --> 00:10:32,545
I'll fucking deport you
back to Mexico city.
301
00:10:32,578 --> 00:10:34,311
How will you guys play golf
without a fucking ball?
302
00:10:34,344 --> 00:10:35,807
Come on.
303
00:10:35,847 --> 00:10:40,351
I never... have been so
disgusted by two men's behavior.
304
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:46,393
Leave the spouses out of it,
you fucking bullies.
305
00:10:46,427 --> 00:10:48,058
Which clubs are yours, Gene?
These red ones?
306
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:50,329
[Gene] Yeah, those are mine.
That's my TaylorMades.
307
00:10:50,362 --> 00:10:52,329
- Ho-ho!
- [Tel] Hey.
308
00:10:52,394 --> 00:10:58,797
[rap music]
309
00:10:58,830 --> 00:11:02,008
Goddamn, dude. Why you taking me
onto the set of City of God, man?
310
00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:03,377
This place isn't gentrified
for a reason.
311
00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:05,146
Hold on. I think
you're gonna like this.
312
00:11:05,179 --> 00:11:07,211
I better like it. The Dragon
Boat race is almost here.
313
00:11:07,252 --> 00:11:10,679
It's right here.
Check it out.
314
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:11,751
[Kenny] What the hell is this?
315
00:11:11,784 --> 00:11:13,119
All these kids
have AIDS or something?
316
00:11:13,184 --> 00:11:16,056
No. They're poor.
You keep them off the hood
317
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:17,793
by teaching them baseball.
318
00:11:17,826 --> 00:11:20,164
Little black kids playing sports
isn't a hot button issue.
319
00:11:20,197 --> 00:11:22,599
No one's gonna give a fuck about
this at the Dragon Boat race.
320
00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:24,535
Man, I'm going up against
some heavy hitters, dude.
321
00:11:24,568 --> 00:11:27,268
AIDS. Fucking rainforests.
Cystic Fibrosis.
322
00:11:27,302 --> 00:11:30,069
Don't underestimate the cause.
It's got a lot of potential.
323
00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:32,807
Who knows. One of these kids
could be the next Babe Ruth.
324
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,512
Well, I wanted the next
Rock Hudson or Liberace.
325
00:11:35,545 --> 00:11:38,478
Jesus Christ.
Guy Young has AIDS!
326
00:11:38,519 --> 00:11:40,781
Why can't I get AIDS?!
I want fucking AIDS!
327
00:11:40,814 --> 00:11:42,655
Look, AIDS is harder to get
than you think.
328
00:11:42,688 --> 00:11:45,563
Every celebrity
with a butthole wants AIDS.
329
00:11:45,596 --> 00:11:47,563
But this is not the 1980's.
330
00:11:47,596 --> 00:11:50,499
You can't just sit
on a toilet seat and get AIDS.
331
00:11:50,532 --> 00:11:52,898
This, though,
everyone loves poor black kids.
332
00:11:52,939 --> 00:11:55,767
Different Strokes,Dangerous Minds, Urkel.
333
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,967
White guilt, man.
Get with the program.
334
00:11:58,001 --> 00:12:00,839
No, I know. Box office returns
on Blindside were huge.
335
00:12:00,873 --> 00:12:05,844
I'm highly disappointed in your
efforts here but I will make it work.
336
00:12:05,878 --> 00:12:08,548
Sorry. I hate when
I disappoint you, Kenny.
337
00:12:08,581 --> 00:12:12,151
I'm just all torn up about
my fucking dick and balls.
338
00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:13,416
Well, homes. Look, man,
339
00:12:13,456 --> 00:12:14,856
it's gonna take more
than one polo shirt
340
00:12:14,889 --> 00:12:16,154
to change your confidence,
all right?
341
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,824
Dude, you're being very nerdy
with your clothes picking.
342
00:12:18,857 --> 00:12:20,622
No wonder your dick's
not getting hard, dude.
343
00:12:20,663 --> 00:12:21,926
Probably can't even breathe
in there.
344
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,263
Polyester pleats.
You fucking jackass.
345
00:12:24,296 --> 00:12:25,831
I'm sorry I failed you.
346
00:12:25,864 --> 00:12:27,031
The only thing
that would make me happy
347
00:12:27,064 --> 00:12:28,871
is if all these kids had AIDS.
348
00:12:28,904 --> 00:12:38,408
[rock music]
349
00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:40,479
[exhales]
350
00:12:40,512 --> 00:12:41,583
And to think,
351
00:12:41,616 --> 00:12:43,320
you were sweating
spaghetti and meatballs
352
00:12:43,353 --> 00:12:45,618
with Gene and Dixie and now
look at your fine ass.
353
00:12:45,659 --> 00:12:46,691
- [giggles]
- This is upper-class.
354
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,259
- This is the elite.
- OK.
355
00:12:48,292 --> 00:12:50,530
We need to make sure they
realize that we are one of them.
356
00:12:50,563 --> 00:12:52,826
- I need your linguistics to be on point.
- OK. Mm-hmm.
357
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:57,199
Talk about finances. Talk about
ancient affairs. Industrialism.
358
00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,633
I need you to be the fucking Bill
O'Reilly with tits in there.
359
00:12:59,664 --> 00:13:01,136
- OK.
- OK?
360
00:13:01,169 --> 00:13:05,779
Do you have a napkin on you?
361
00:13:05,812 --> 00:13:09,145
Step forward.
362
00:13:09,178 --> 00:13:10,880
Now you're ready to sizzle.
363
00:13:10,913 --> 00:13:22,190
Let's be elite.
364
00:13:22,223 --> 00:13:24,789
- [drumming stops]
- [clinking glass]
365
00:13:24,822 --> 00:13:27,831
- Well, hello, everybody.
- He looks like fucking Neo, doesn't he?
366
00:13:27,864 --> 00:13:30,097
- He does. [laughs]
- It's fucking cool.
367
00:13:30,129 --> 00:13:34,770
It has been said that the Dragon Boat
racers of old were so competitive
368
00:13:34,803 --> 00:13:37,377
that they would strike
each other with bamboo
369
00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:40,473
in order to drown each other,
370
00:13:40,514 --> 00:13:46,285
for the soul purpose of claiming
victory for the mighty dragon deity.
371
00:13:46,318 --> 00:13:49,495
I, along with many
of my dear friends here...
372
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:50,863
I see Kenny P in the house.
373
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:53,495
- Hey.
- [chuckles]
374
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:57,199
We... we're honored to be
manning this beautiful vessel
375
00:13:57,232 --> 00:13:58,670
for our respective charities.
376
00:13:58,703 --> 00:14:01,899
Mine being Guy's AIDS.
What's yours again, KP?
377
00:14:01,932 --> 00:14:03,897
Just Little Black Kids.
378
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:06,136
[Guy] Little Black Kids.
379
00:14:06,169 --> 00:14:07,536
- And now,
- [indistinct whisper]
380
00:14:07,569 --> 00:14:09,963
let's officially
get the festivities started.
381
00:14:10,004 --> 00:14:12,499
Priest Shen-Quan.
Did I say that correctly?
382
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:18,113
Shen-Quan? Will be conducting
the "Awakening of the Dragon."
383
00:14:18,146 --> 00:14:21,988
[chanting in foreign language]
384
00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:24,189
[mumbles along]
385
00:14:24,222 --> 00:14:28,002
[bell ringing]
386
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:34,413
- The bell is for symbolisms.
- Oh.
387
00:14:34,446 --> 00:14:36,478
- What he said. Let's party!
- [man] Yeah!
388
00:14:36,511 --> 00:14:38,217
[laughing and cheering]
389
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:47,217
- [drums beating]
- [Asian pop music]
390
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:49,888
- April. What a pleasure.
- So flattering.
391
00:14:49,921 --> 00:14:51,286
- [laughter]
- So beautiful.
392
00:14:51,319 --> 00:14:52,790
- Thank you.
- Just gorgeous.
393
00:14:52,823 --> 00:14:54,992
April, what do you say
us girls go get a drink?
394
00:14:55,025 --> 00:14:56,994
- Oh, OK. Yes.
- Leave these two to it.
395
00:14:57,027 --> 00:14:58,731
[Kenny] OK.
396
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:03,030
Wow. She is stunning, Kenny. How'd
you land somebody like that?
397
00:15:03,063 --> 00:15:05,698
Ah, I fucked with her head
for a while. Never fails.
398
00:15:05,731 --> 00:15:07,897
- I love it.
- Yours is pretty ravishing, as well.
399
00:15:07,930 --> 00:15:09,569
She looks like that lady
from Transformers.
400
00:15:09,602 --> 00:15:11,506
I met her in a bathroom stall.
401
00:15:11,539 --> 00:15:13,169
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
402
00:15:13,202 --> 00:15:14,808
I guess we're both
a couple of cocksman, huh?
403
00:15:14,841 --> 00:15:16,438
- Hell yeah.
- Holla.
404
00:15:16,471 --> 00:15:17,540
- Holla.
- Hey, oh.
405
00:15:17,573 --> 00:15:20,134
- There he is.
- Oh boy.
406
00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:21,967
Look who's coming.
My goodness.
407
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,470
- Salt and pepper's here.
- [laughter]
408
00:15:24,504 --> 00:15:25,870
- How you doing?
- How are you, buddy?
409
00:15:25,911 --> 00:15:27,509
- Good, good, good.
- What's the word?
410
00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:28,939
- [woman] Hi.
- Hello, Cheryl. How are you?
411
00:15:28,972 --> 00:15:31,474
Hey, my wife here brought
her famous peach cobbler.
412
00:15:31,507 --> 00:15:35,345
Yes, I did. I told you last time
we met I'd bring you some.
413
00:15:35,378 --> 00:15:38,112
I remember, Cheryl. And I'm
looking forward to that cobbler.
414
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,077
Why don't you go put it over there
by the other baked confections.
415
00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:41,548
Then I'm gonna dive into it
a little later.
416
00:15:41,581 --> 00:15:43,442
- I'll be there in a second.
- Wonderful to see you, baby.
417
00:15:43,483 --> 00:15:46,786
Well, I told her
I'd take her down to by water
418
00:15:46,819 --> 00:15:48,252
and whisper sweet nothings
into her ear.
419
00:15:48,284 --> 00:15:50,522
- Whoo.
- [laughing]
420
00:15:50,555 --> 00:15:51,785
If I get lucky, she might...
421
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,455
drop a digit in my bunghole.
422
00:15:53,489 --> 00:15:54,920
- You're talking ass-play?
- Butthole.
423
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:57,423
- Oh, man.
- If we're in the water, don't even bother.
424
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,055
- [laughter]
- That means something's happening.
425
00:15:59,095 --> 00:16:01,031
- Go get 'em, tiger.
- Get after it.
426
00:16:01,064 --> 00:16:02,599
[laughing]
427
00:16:02,632 --> 00:16:05,935
Ah, Jed Forney.
Ugh, God.
428
00:16:05,968 --> 00:16:07,670
- [sighs]
- Ah, Forney's all right.
429
00:16:07,703 --> 00:16:11,300
No, he's not, man. The motherfucking
guy's lame and he's dull.
430
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:14,167
And he's an ass-kiss.
And his wife brings in cobbler?
431
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,333
Like, I got Sweet Lady Jane
flown in from LA.
432
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,532
You know? I'm not gonna eat
that bullshit cobbler.
433
00:16:18,565 --> 00:16:20,267
No, I know. It's like,
in Tupperware.
434
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,539
The presentation
is obviously not up to snuff.
435
00:16:22,604 --> 00:16:23,876
She reminds me
of my little brother.
436
00:16:23,909 --> 00:16:25,974
- What does that mean?
- His wife, man.
437
00:16:26,014 --> 00:16:29,717
Looks like a boy. With her
little short hair and no tits
438
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,782
and a flat ass
and little boy legs.
439
00:16:31,815 --> 00:16:35,821
And short little
fucking... boy fingers.
440
00:16:35,854 --> 00:16:37,850
Like a little
Dennis the Menace.
441
00:16:37,883 --> 00:16:40,755
[Guy] Disgusting, man. I don't even
wanna think about them having sex.
442
00:16:40,788 --> 00:16:42,692
All right. I'm gonna have to hobnob
with some of the big donors.
443
00:16:42,725 --> 00:16:44,364
- OK, sure.
- I'll catch you later, baby.
444
00:16:44,397 --> 00:16:46,660
All right? Champion.
Thank you for coming.
445
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:53,669
Mos def, mos def.
446
00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:56,509
Kemosabe.
You're showing brain.
447
00:16:56,542 --> 00:17:02,072
Your scrotum and some of your testicles
are leaking out of your diaper there.
448
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:05,612
[Stevie] Hello, everyone and
welcome to Kenny Powers'
449
00:17:05,652 --> 00:17:09,821
Extra Innings After School
Baseball Class.
450
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:14,789
And now, here is Kenny Powers.
451
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:20,100
[clapping]
452
00:17:20,133 --> 00:17:22,368
Whoa. Whooo.
453
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,569
Word.
454
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,607
- Fresh.
- Dope.
455
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,036
- Pay-puh.
- Jams.
456
00:17:28,069 --> 00:17:30,537
- Badonkadonks.
- Street talk.
457
00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:33,138
That's what we're here for
today, you guys.
458
00:17:33,179 --> 00:17:34,379
I know what you guys
are thinking.
459
00:17:34,412 --> 00:17:36,885
"Who the hell this cracker
think he is?"
460
00:17:36,918 --> 00:17:39,782
"Walking up in here,
this honkey motherfucker."
461
00:17:39,823 --> 00:17:41,485
Well, don't be thinking
that kind of stuff, guys.
462
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:43,051
Don't be racist.
463
00:17:43,084 --> 00:17:46,687
Because this cracker-ass
honkey motherfucker...
464
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,287
...from this day forward
is now the face of you guys.
465
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,961
I've chosen to battle
on your behalf
466
00:17:52,994 --> 00:17:55,999
in the celebrity charity
Dragon Boat race.
467
00:17:56,032 --> 00:17:58,031
There's gonna be other
causes that,
468
00:17:58,065 --> 00:18:00,266
frankly are way more
interesting than you guys.
469
00:18:00,306 --> 00:18:03,170
Things like Lyme's disease
and cleft palates
470
00:18:03,203 --> 00:18:05,106
and war torn countries
and rainforests.
471
00:18:05,139 --> 00:18:07,148
Breast cancer... for teens.
472
00:18:07,181 --> 00:18:08,749
But don't let that scare you.
473
00:18:08,782 --> 00:18:11,056
Because I'm gonna make a promise
to each and every one of you
474
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:12,287
that when I got out there
475
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,451
- I will win.
- Belee dat.
476
00:18:15,484 --> 00:18:16,890
[Kenny] Steven, I got this, OK?
477
00:18:16,923 --> 00:18:19,627
I'm here to amend for the
atrocities of my ancestors.
478
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:23,425
You think I'm proud to come from a fucking
powdered wig wooden teeth motherfucker?
479
00:18:23,458 --> 00:18:25,590
Fucking George Washington
didn't do shit.
480
00:18:25,623 --> 00:18:28,995
He can suck my fucking dick.
I fucking hate that faggot.
481
00:18:29,028 --> 00:18:30,628
That's street talk, y'all.
482
00:18:30,661 --> 00:18:32,062
Hope y'all can get
where we're coming from.
483
00:18:32,095 --> 00:18:34,332
- [Stevie] We're keeping this real.
- So look.
484
00:18:34,365 --> 00:18:36,929
I'm looking around at this fucking
baseball park and it sucks. I get it, man.
485
00:18:36,962 --> 00:18:39,169
There's a goddamn swamp
in the outfield.
486
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:42,105
There's a used tampon
stuck to second base.
487
00:18:42,138 --> 00:18:45,307
But now that I'm your leader,
all that shit's about to change.
488
00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:47,749
I'll crush those other charities
in the Dragon Boat race
489
00:18:47,782 --> 00:18:49,950
and when I do I will
bring back that skrilla.
490
00:18:49,983 --> 00:18:52,116
That cash money.
And I'll spend it here.
491
00:18:52,149 --> 00:18:53,514
We getting a goddamn
brand new couch.
492
00:18:53,548 --> 00:18:55,216
We're gonna change your lives.
493
00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:58,454
And I have a feeling
that right now,
494
00:18:58,487 --> 00:19:00,488
- the change has begun.
- Hallelujah.
495
00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:04,429
Get ready for victory.
You're with a champion now.
496
00:19:04,462 --> 00:19:07,531
What are you, an audienceor an oil painting?
497
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:09,500
[TV chatter]
498
00:19:09,533 --> 00:19:12,539
Seriously? Gene and Dixie
are having guests over again.
499
00:19:12,572 --> 00:19:15,201
I don't get it.
What is their deal?
500
00:19:15,234 --> 00:19:17,369
I have to go over there and see
what the problem is. I do.
501
00:19:17,410 --> 00:19:20,009
April, don't do it. You're
playing right into their hands.
502
00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:21,841
This is the exact sort of
reaction they're hoping for.
503
00:19:21,874 --> 00:19:24,680
Well, if they have an issue, Kenny,
then they need to fucking spill it.
504
00:19:24,713 --> 00:19:26,345
Yeah. They've ruffled
your feathers, I know.
505
00:19:26,385 --> 00:19:27,785
Will you please go with me?
506
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,985
You sure you just don't wanna
send a text or an email?
507
00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:31,016
[April] No.
That's not gonna work.
508
00:19:31,057 --> 00:19:32,152
Just go over in person.
509
00:19:32,185 --> 00:19:34,088
Kenny, I'm not playing around.
510
00:19:34,121 --> 00:19:36,289
[sighs]
511
00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:37,994
There he is.
Here he comes.
512
00:19:38,027 --> 00:19:40,026
- Here it is.
- Tel cut the cheese.
513
00:19:40,066 --> 00:19:42,233
[laughter]
514
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:45,830
- Hi. Hi, Dixie.
- Whoa. Uh, hello.
515
00:19:45,903 --> 00:19:47,195
- Hello.
- Um, hi, everybody.
516
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,234
- This won't take long.
- Sure.
517
00:19:48,268 --> 00:19:50,236
Um, how have your
two dinner parties been
518
00:19:50,269 --> 00:19:51,701
in the last two weeks?
519
00:19:51,734 --> 00:19:53,941
I've just... I've seen
everybody come over here.
520
00:19:53,974 --> 00:19:57,044
I don't think I got the invitation.
I think it got lost in spam.
521
00:19:57,077 --> 00:19:58,707
Sorry, April. I don't know if
this is a joke that you're doing.
522
00:19:58,741 --> 00:20:00,507
- It's very passive aggressive.
- This isn't a joke.
523
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:02,715
This isn't a joke.
I'm very angry with you.
524
00:20:02,748 --> 00:20:03,981
- [Dixie] Well...
- I'm very upset because I feel
525
00:20:04,014 --> 00:20:05,517
- left out. I've been
a very good friend to you. - OK.
526
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:07,285
You're a very good friend,
but my problem is...
527
00:20:07,318 --> 00:20:09,125
- You know what? I know what it is.
- [Dixie] What is that?
528
00:20:09,158 --> 00:20:11,824
You were upset with me for getting drunk
at the water park in front of the kids.
529
00:20:11,864 --> 00:20:15,930
- Yeah. Um, that's not what I was
upset about. At all. - OK. Well, then...
530
00:20:15,971 --> 00:20:17,171
Well, then what's the problem?
531
00:20:17,204 --> 00:20:19,709
My big problem is your husband.
532
00:20:19,743 --> 00:20:22,572
Your husband punched
my husband right in the face.
533
00:20:22,613 --> 00:20:23,810
- Excuse me.
- It's true.
534
00:20:23,843 --> 00:20:25,274
He punched me.
He hit me right in the mouth.
535
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,378
- [Kenny] Tall tale.
- [April] Please don't lie.
536
00:20:26,411 --> 00:20:27,683
- That's a tall tale.
- [April] What?
537
00:20:27,716 --> 00:20:29,013
- These are fabrications.
- Yes, you did!
538
00:20:29,054 --> 00:20:31,285
- You hit me in the mouth.
- [overlapping chatter]
539
00:20:31,318 --> 00:20:33,189
One at a time.
One at a time.
540
00:20:33,222 --> 00:20:35,359
- You punched me in the mouth!
- One at a time.
541
00:20:35,392 --> 00:20:37,464
In this house,
we speak one at a time.
542
00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,398
OK, fine.
Shut up, Gene. I'll talk.
543
00:20:39,431 --> 00:20:44,099
God. One at a time.
544
00:20:44,132 --> 00:20:47,663
[sighs]
545
00:20:47,696 --> 00:20:52,302
All right. Some stuff happened
at the Congo Canyon Water Park
546
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,870
that I haven't been
100% honest about.
547
00:20:53,903 --> 00:20:56,574
- Damn right.
- After you guys went to bed,
548
00:20:56,607 --> 00:21:00,342
the fellas and I were down at the
bar and we were having some drinks.
549
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:03,476
We ran into some fans of mine.
550
00:21:03,509 --> 00:21:06,581
And they invited us up to
their hotel room to party.
551
00:21:06,614 --> 00:21:09,516
We got up there and the party was
definitely a little more intense
552
00:21:09,549 --> 00:21:11,989
than any of us had anticipated.
553
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:16,624
There were girls there.
554
00:21:16,657 --> 00:21:19,124
And Gene had unprotected oral
sex with one of the girls.
555
00:21:19,157 --> 00:21:20,722
- What?!
- What?
556
00:21:20,763 --> 00:21:21,688
- Gene.
- [Kenny] Yeah.
557
00:21:21,761 --> 00:21:23,360
Gene fucked a girl in her ass.
558
00:21:23,393 --> 00:21:25,098
- That is a lie and you know it.
- No, you did, Gene.
559
00:21:25,131 --> 00:21:27,332
- What?
- He... I came into...
560
00:21:27,365 --> 00:21:28,837
- I came into the room.
- Hold on, man.
561
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,140
As soon as I did, I saw him.
I said, "Gene, you're married."
562
00:21:30,173 --> 00:21:32,337
Bam! Punched him in his face
because it upset me.
563
00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:34,768
- I didn't wanna see that.
- Are you fucking nuts, man?
564
00:21:34,801 --> 00:21:36,807
I didn't have sex with anybody.
Tel, could you back me up,
565
00:21:36,872 --> 00:21:37,945
- please?
- Absolutely.
566
00:21:37,978 --> 00:21:40,113
Sit your fucking ass
down right now. Tel.
567
00:21:40,146 --> 00:21:42,344
- You sat there and
watched it fucking happen. - Tel!
568
00:21:42,377 --> 00:21:45,711
You jerked off. He sat there and
let it happen and got off on it.
569
00:21:45,752 --> 00:21:47,416
The worst thing you said that
happened was the cocaine.
570
00:21:47,449 --> 00:21:50,952
What?! Cocaine?!
Cocaine is drugs.
571
00:21:50,985 --> 00:21:53,194
I didn't do any cocaine though.
There was cocaine there.
572
00:21:53,227 --> 00:21:54,626
- [Kenny] Yeah, right, Gene.
- I don't know why I didn't tell you.
573
00:21:54,659 --> 00:21:55,994
- ...don't fucking tell me about!
- Hey!
574
00:21:56,027 --> 00:21:57,898
- What didn't you tell me about?
- I didn't do anything!
575
00:21:57,931 --> 00:21:59,729
- Would you say something here,
Kenny, please? - Coked out dick!
576
00:21:59,762 --> 00:22:02,296
- Coke dick. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
- I didn't do anything!
577
00:22:02,329 --> 00:22:04,800
- Eat your fucking cheese, you rat. Eat it!
- Fuck you. [spits]
578
00:22:04,833 --> 00:22:08,406
I ha... I hate you.
I hate you.
579
00:22:08,439 --> 00:22:12,340
Dix. I didn't do
any drugs, Dix. Come on!
580
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:17,108
Dix!
581
00:22:17,141 --> 00:22:19,076
This is the cost of lies, guys.
582
00:22:19,109 --> 00:22:23,918
This is when we aren't faithful to
the ones that we make promises to.
583
00:22:23,983 --> 00:22:27,926
I think it's probably best if we
just end spaghetti night now, OK?
584
00:22:27,959 --> 00:22:30,093
Let's go. Tel, get up.
Get the fuck out of here.
585
00:22:30,126 --> 00:22:33,228
Let's go.
586
00:22:33,261 --> 00:22:39,668
- I love you so much.
- I love you too.
587
00:22:39,701 --> 00:22:50,870
[chatter]
588
00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:52,101
[Guy] Hey.
589
00:22:52,142 --> 00:22:55,403
Kenny P.
What's up, champion?
590
00:22:55,444 --> 00:22:58,239
- [Kenny] Spicy. What's happening, baby?
- KP, yeah. How you feeling?
591
00:22:58,272 --> 00:23:00,772
- Wonderful, man. Wonderful.
- All right. Soak it in.
592
00:23:00,805 --> 00:23:03,335
There it is. There's
your ball field today.
593
00:23:03,368 --> 00:23:04,903
You ready to strike
some motherfuckers out?
594
00:23:04,936 --> 00:23:06,641
[Dontel] Yo.
595
00:23:06,674 --> 00:23:11,476
Guy Young and Kenny Flowers.
596
00:23:11,541 --> 00:23:14,043
- What's up, Dontel?
- Ah. Dontel, Dontel.
597
00:23:14,076 --> 00:23:15,747
- How's the job hunt going?
- [laughs]
598
00:23:15,780 --> 00:23:19,248
Don't worry. They still take food
stamps here at the concession stand.
599
00:23:19,281 --> 00:23:22,879
- [laughs] - Hey, on the real tip, I wanted
to apologize to you, Dontel.
600
00:23:22,912 --> 00:23:25,047
I'm so sorry I ruined
your whole entire fucking life.
601
00:23:25,088 --> 00:23:26,319
- [laughter]
- Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
602
00:23:26,352 --> 00:23:28,222
- Must be a tough break, kid.
- [Guy] Burn!
603
00:23:28,255 --> 00:23:29,854
Na-na-na-na. Ain't no thang
but a chicken wing.
604
00:23:29,887 --> 00:23:33,020
Truth be told, man,
I feel sorry for you.
605
00:23:33,053 --> 00:23:36,689
Having to work for this
insecure backstabbing asshole.
606
00:23:36,722 --> 00:23:39,425
I ain't telling you nothing
you don't already know, right?
607
00:23:39,458 --> 00:23:41,865
Look at you, man. Come on.
You're just obsessed with me.
608
00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:44,033
- Nah.
- [Guy] You want to butt fuck me at the charity event?
609
00:23:44,066 --> 00:23:46,096
- Is that what you want?
- [Dontel] Nah.
610
00:23:46,129 --> 00:23:49,565
You got it all wrong, bruh. See
I know why you cut me out, Guy.
611
00:23:49,598 --> 00:23:50,564
Yeah, why's that?
612
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:51,699
Because you saw the beauty
613
00:23:51,732 --> 00:23:53,434
of my black ass coming for you.
614
00:23:53,499 --> 00:23:55,338
But, hey...
615
00:23:55,371 --> 00:23:57,770
Today's about the charities.
616
00:23:57,803 --> 00:24:01,470
About the kids. About AIDS.
And about having a good time.
617
00:24:01,503 --> 00:24:04,003
So we just gonna
put a pin in that for now.
618
00:24:04,036 --> 00:24:07,509
- Peace, bitches.
- Bye, Dontel.
619
00:24:07,542 --> 00:24:10,305
You fucking loser.
All of you.
620
00:24:10,338 --> 00:24:14,909
And that's why we're here. To show
Dontel that he's a fucking loser.
621
00:24:14,942 --> 00:24:18,009
- Because losers always forget.
- [chuckles]
622
00:24:18,042 --> 00:24:19,673
Hell yeah, they do.
623
00:24:19,714 --> 00:24:21,946
Let's smash these
fucking losers so hard,
624
00:24:21,979 --> 00:24:25,344
their charities
don't get a goddamn dime.
625
00:24:25,385 --> 00:24:36,416
[drum beating]
626
00:24:36,449 --> 00:24:38,490
Hey, hey.
Jed, hold up for a second.
627
00:24:38,523 --> 00:24:39,521
Let me help you with that.
628
00:24:39,554 --> 00:24:41,960
Thank you kindly there, Kenny.
629
00:24:41,993 --> 00:24:43,559
- There you go, bud.
- You're a good man.
630
00:24:43,592 --> 00:24:45,358
[Dontel] Guy.
631
00:24:45,391 --> 00:24:47,926
You look real comfortable stroking
that black thing like that.
632
00:24:47,959 --> 00:24:51,966
[laughs] Look like
Dontel in your hand.
633
00:24:51,999 --> 00:24:54,533
[laughter]
634
00:24:54,566 --> 00:24:57,470
On you mark.
635
00:24:57,503 --> 00:25:01,107
Get set.
636
00:25:01,140 --> 00:25:03,704
In your positions!
637
00:25:03,737 --> 00:25:06,575
- [gunshot]
- [announcer] And they're off.
638
00:25:06,608 --> 00:25:09,171
- The Dragon Boat Charity Challenge is on.
- Come on, let's go!
639
00:25:09,204 --> 00:25:12,370
Come on now.
640
00:25:12,410 --> 00:25:14,806
[announcer] Dragon Boat number
one is off to an early lead.
641
00:25:14,839 --> 00:25:16,869
- [man] Let's go, move it.
- [man 2] Come on, keep it together.
642
00:25:16,910 --> 00:25:22,874
[shouting continues]
643
00:25:22,907 --> 00:25:23,872
Let's go, let's go!
644
00:25:23,913 --> 00:25:28,212
[cheering]
645
00:25:28,245 --> 00:25:30,580
[announcer] Dragon Boatnumber two slowly catching up.
646
00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:32,011
Come on.
647
00:25:32,044 --> 00:25:39,645
Push it, guys.
Push it, push it.
648
00:25:39,678 --> 00:25:41,749
[announcer] Dragon Boatnumber two picking up steam.
649
00:25:41,782 --> 00:25:44,087
Dragon Boat number two catchingup to Dragon Boat number one.
650
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:47,188
What the fuck. Come on, Forney.
You're slowing us down.
651
00:25:47,221 --> 00:25:49,489
- I'm doing my best, Guy.
- [announcer] Dragon Boat number two catching up.
652
00:25:49,522 --> 00:25:52,886
- Ha-ha. Bye, Guy.
- [announcer] It's neck in neck now.
653
00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:54,956
[Guy] Goddamn it, Forney.
Stay in rhythm.
654
00:25:54,989 --> 00:25:57,050
You biscuits-n-gravy
eating motherfucker.
655
00:25:57,091 --> 00:25:59,554
- I'm trying, all right.
- [Guy] I thought you were a racer.
656
00:25:59,587 --> 00:26:02,724
- I am.
- You're gonna make us lose.
657
00:26:02,765 --> 00:26:04,364
- KP.
- What?!
658
00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:06,298
- Get him out of the boat.
Get Forney out of the boat. - What?
659
00:26:06,331 --> 00:26:09,033
- Are you fucking kidding?
- Get him out of the boat right now.
660
00:26:09,066 --> 00:26:10,939
- He's dead weight.
- No.
661
00:26:10,973 --> 00:26:12,269
[Guy] Get him out
of the fucking boat.
662
00:26:12,310 --> 00:26:16,445
Come on, Kenny. No.
Hey, hey!
663
00:26:16,478 --> 00:26:17,643
[announcer] Dragon Boatnumber one threw
664
00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:19,776
- a member out of the boat.- Yeah.
665
00:26:19,809 --> 00:26:23,541
[announcer] Dragon Boat numberone is clearly faster now.
666
00:26:23,574 --> 00:26:28,843
- [crowd cheering]
- Go! Go!
667
00:26:28,876 --> 00:26:32,715
[announcer] It's Dragon Boatnumber one for the win!
668
00:26:32,748 --> 00:26:37,786
[cheering]
669
00:26:37,818 --> 00:26:41,658
Suck that dick.
Suck it.
670
00:26:41,691 --> 00:26:53,310
[inaudible]
671
00:26:53,343 --> 00:26:54,806
[Guy] Look at that
little dip-de-doo.
672
00:26:54,839 --> 00:26:56,174
Forney almost
blew it for us, huh?
673
00:26:56,207 --> 00:26:58,581
- Mm-hmm.
- You did good, Kenny, huh?
674
00:26:58,614 --> 00:27:00,983
- Feels nice to win.
- Oh yeah. It feels great.
675
00:27:01,016 --> 00:27:03,087
- [chuckles]
- All right. Well, why don't you shower up.
676
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:06,926
- 'Cause we're going dancing tonight.
- There we go.
677
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
678
00:27:12,562 --> 00:27:16,469
[Kenny] Enemies can appearin our lives out of nowhere.
679
00:27:16,502 --> 00:27:21,679
A stranger who cuts you offin traffic.
680
00:27:21,712 --> 00:27:25,318
A dude who looks at you weirdin the men's room.
681
00:27:25,351 --> 00:27:28,768
Or treasured friendswho betray you out of jealousy.
682
00:27:34,930 --> 00:27:36,665
But when enemies do rise up,
683
00:27:36,698 --> 00:27:41,005
they must be dealt withdecisively, on animal instinct.
684
00:27:41,038 --> 00:27:43,877
Are the kids in bed?
685
00:27:43,910 --> 00:27:45,574
Si.
686
00:27:45,607 --> 00:27:48,831
Good.
'Cause the dick is back.
687
00:27:52,324 --> 00:27:54,091
[gasps]
688
00:27:54,124 --> 00:27:56,039
[speaks Spanish]
689
00:28:04,068 --> 00:28:08,416
[Kenny]Mortals falter. Kings act.
690
00:28:11,128 --> 00:28:13,294
And the mortal who acts...
691
00:28:14,782 --> 00:28:16,693
Well, that motherfuckerbecomes king.
692
00:28:16,813 --> 00:28:17,990
[meat hits floor]
693
00:28:19,249 --> 00:28:29,805
694
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,148
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
695
00:28:33,198 --> 00:28:37,748
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55255
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