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[NOISE] Yahoo!
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Welcome back to Greendale,
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now ranking fifth on Colorado's
alphabetical listing of community colleges.
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Rest in peace, Bad Boy Slim's DJ School.
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This school owes its continued
existence to the following heroes.
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Jeff Winger, a teacher so
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dedicated to clean energy, he's already
parking like his car is electric.
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Britta Perry, currently raising
awareness of homelessness,
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not that she has a choice.
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00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:36,915
Abed Nadir, who actually wrote
this announcement for the sake of,
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as he put it, catching everyone up.
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And Annie Edison who led the effort to save
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Greendale from 534 critical emergencies.
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534?
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[MUSIC]
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[SOUND]
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Frisbee!
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[SOUND].
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[MUSIC]
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Hey Leonard, what, are you
gonna Bogart the disc all day?
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[MUSIC]
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[SOUND] Like tears in rain.
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00:02:05,641 --> 00:02:07,880
What?
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00:02:07,881 --> 00:02:16,826
[MUSIC]
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00:02:23,381 --> 00:02:33,433
Corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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I can't believe the roof collapsed.
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We almost killed Fat Neil.
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That was Garrett.
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See, we're monsters.
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Okay, if they blame us for
this, let me take the heat.
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I'd never see the inside of a cell.
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I have been reliving this day over
and over for a thousand years.
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Guys, this is not on us.
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That roof was gonna collapse, 80%
of the rubble was styrofoam.
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Speaking of guilt, where's Shirley?
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You didn't tell him?
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I was waiting until we were all together.
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Abed's not comfortable with C-H-A-N-G-E.
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Hey, screw you.
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I can spell.
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Screw you.
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Is Shirley gone?
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Did she spin off?
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Nobody spins off in real life, Abed.
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Shirley went to look after her dad
in Atlanta and ended up taking
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a job as a personal chef to a brilliant,
but troubled Southern detective.
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I told her I'd manage her
sandwich shop while she's gone.
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Oh, that's very generous of you.
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I have a friend in town, every time
you're gonna need help with that.
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She'll be back.
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[LAUGH]. Like Troy?
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Are any of you white people noticing
what's happening to this group?
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Do Abed and I need to be concerned?
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You have my word, as leader of the white
people there's no cause for alarm.
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Say hello to new Shirley.
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[LAUGH] Just kidding.
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This is Francesca Dart.
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I have brought her on as an
administrative consultant.
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I thought it would be
fun, and mandatory for
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you to add her to your little committee.
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Why, because one roof collapsed?
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No, God, God no.
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I'm your friend bringing you a new friend,
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one with training in not collapsing roofs.
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Is she, excuse me, ma'am.
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Is she above us or below us?
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She is, woop!
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[LAUGH] I'm getting a call,
here, and I'll have to take it.
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Frankie, why don't you explain
what your role will be,
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while I leave to take this call.
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My phone is vibrating, but it is In
your office, which you didn't realize,
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when you started the fake phone call move.
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My phone is in my pocket, Jeffrey.
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Mm.
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I'm walking away, so I can
get it out and answer it.
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Let me know how it goes.
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Okay, I'll just have a seat and-.
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No!
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No! No, no, no! Hey!
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Our friend use to sit there.
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She spun off.
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I'm sorry, what about here?
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Yeah, [CROSSTALK], I guess that's okay.
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00:04:51,736 --> 00:04:52,681
Okay, so,
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I took an informal survey to get a
sense of how Greendale is perceived.
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00:04:58,284 --> 00:05:01,440
And three themes emerged, weird.
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00:05:01,441 --> 00:05:03,553
Passionate and gross.
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00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,683
Now you want to hang onto that grouping.
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00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:09,599
In marketing, it's what
we call the Good Belushi.
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00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,889
If I had a magic wand,
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00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,689
I would use it to make sure
Greendale never had to grow up.
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00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:17,839
I would also probably use it to cut the
Magic Wand class that I noticed is
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00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:22,999
actually offered here, as well as VCR
Repair, a class called Ladders, and
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00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,659
When is it Okay to Shake a Baby?
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00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:28,359
In terms of hierarchy, I'm
a big believer in it.
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00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,929
Someone needs to say, I'm in
charge, and that person is me.
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00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:32,939
That's my decision.
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That doesn't mean that we don't work
together, but all communication and
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decisions will go through me.
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00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:43,019
I'll send out an email later
to set up our next meeting.
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00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:45,049
Awesome. Okay. Great seeing you, Professor.
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00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:46,411
Yeah. Coolios.
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00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,129
Who in the crazy bitch?
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Did that just happen?
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Did you see her binder?
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[LAUGH] Pretty nondescript.
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Seems like she may be trouble.
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To be fair,
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she's an additional white person, which
has clearly become important here.
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No, thank you.
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00:06:01,035 --> 00:06:03,799
I, I'm just glad I was able to answer.
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00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,909
My, my phone got lodged in my pocket.
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I know!
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00:06:07,190 --> 00:06:09,119
I guess that is a thing.
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So, you were saying about the thing,
the reason you were calling was,
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what were you talking to me about?
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[MUSIC]
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Looks good, Tony.
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I'm sorry, I just assume your name is Tony.
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Here you go.
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I gave you some extra heat.
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Britta, what is the weekly
cost of this restaurant?
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Oh, that's easy.
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My dignity.
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00:06:32,173 --> 00:06:37,375
Seems like this sandwich counter
is consuming your happiness and
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00:06:37,376 --> 00:06:40,694
converting it into burnt bread and debt.
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So?
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00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:42,986
Frankie, hi.
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Someone removed all the liquor
from the faculty lounge.
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00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:49,960
I'm sorry, I cannot legally protect or
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00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:52,909
insure a campus with free flowing booze.
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Well, I can't teach with
free flowing sobriety.
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00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:58,375
Is that true?
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00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,813
Do you really think you're an addict?
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00:07:00,814 --> 00:07:05,085
No.
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00:07:05,086 --> 00:07:08,591
Dean!
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00:07:08,592 --> 00:07:09,404
Hello?
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00:07:09,405 --> 00:07:10,332
Oh, oh, hey!
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00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,145
Yes, I can talk.
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Damn it.
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00:07:12,121 --> 00:07:13,838
I am available anytime for you.
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00:07:13,839 --> 00:07:14,953
Frankie, Frankie.
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Hi. I had an idea about how
to deelectrify the pool.
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00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,723
Oh, that's already been dealt with.
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00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:22,346
Okay, well, then, there's-.
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00:07:22,347 --> 00:07:22,980
Oh, let's see.
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00:07:22,981 --> 00:07:25,673
Done, done, deloused.
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00:07:25,674 --> 00:07:28,181
Appraised, defused, rebuilt.
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00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:31,408
De-peanut buttered,
debunked, spayed, neutered.
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00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:35,913
Underway, resanctified,
plunged, deported and exhumed.
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00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,561
Thank you.
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00:07:37,562 --> 00:07:39,976
Oh, this is pretty.
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00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:41,114
Huh.
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00:07:41,115 --> 00:07:43,482
I'm gonna name one of my
sandwiches after her.
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My sandwiches suck.
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She is improving Greendale.
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00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:48,537
Yeah, but
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how much can you improve Greendale
before it stops being Greendale?
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She didn't suffer for this place.
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She doesn't understand it.
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She's gonna end up messing
with something that-.
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00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:01,895
Abed.
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00:08:01,896 --> 00:08:08,825
Temporal mutation in English, Doc.
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00:08:08,826 --> 00:08:11,733
Simply put Mr. President,
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00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:16,464
in 12 hours these dinosaurs will become-.
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00:08:16,465 --> 00:08:17,811
Mind if I sit here?
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00:08:17,812 --> 00:08:19,134
Time-asaurs.
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00:08:19,135 --> 00:08:22,524
Go ahead, I can reshoot.
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00:08:22,525 --> 00:08:24,544
How's everything going?
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00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,309
I have concerns.
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00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:27,400
I'd like to hear them.
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00:08:27,401 --> 00:08:29,306
I'm worried you're not distinct enough for
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00:08:29,307 --> 00:08:31,371
Manny both in terms of
physicality and purpose.
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00:08:31,372 --> 00:08:32,716
Okay.
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00:08:32,717 --> 00:08:34,565
I can't determine if you
have any specific flaw,
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00:08:34,566 --> 00:08:37,939
quirk, or point of view that makes you
a creative addition to the group.
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00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:40,999
I don't know what that means,
but I'm writing it down.
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00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,029
My umbrella concern is that you,
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00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:44,729
as a character, represent the end
of what I used to call our show,
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00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:46,999
which was once an unlikely
family of misfit students, and
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00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,379
is now a pretty loose knit group
of students and teachers.
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None of whom are taking a class
together in a school which,
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00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,629
as of your arrival, is becoming
increasingly grounded,
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00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:55,969
asking questions like, how
do any of us get our money?
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00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:58,409
When will we get our degrees, and what
happened to that girl I was dating?
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00:08:58,410 --> 00:09:00,919
As opposed to questions I consider
more important like, what is real?
187
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:01,609
What is sanity?
188
00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:02,709
Is there a god?
189
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:03,921
Where's that Pierce hologram?
190
00:09:03,922 --> 00:09:05,289
Jeff said last year he
saw a Pierce hologram.
191
00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:06,699
None of the rest of us have ever seen it.
192
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,129
So, if there's a Pierce ghost on campus,
193
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,569
I'd like to get a head start on busting it.
194
00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:14,519
All right. This is the first I've
heard that I'm a character on a show.
195
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,399
I'm excited to be one, but I
agree, I'll be a boring one.
196
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,799
Quirks are not my strong suit, results are.
197
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:20,769
I love quirky people.
198
00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:24,339
I come from a big family of
people who are literally insane.
199
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:26,449
I moved down here to take
care of one of them.
200
00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:31,299
But I myself am exceptionally boring,
and I am quite proud to be that way,
201
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:35,682
because it allows me to help the
less boring people turn quirks into
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00:09:35,683 --> 00:09:36,402
results.
203
00:09:36,403 --> 00:09:38,511
That's the most interesting take
on not being interesting that
204
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:39,142
I've ever heard.
205
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:42,121
As far as what I represent about
your show, I wouldn't give me or
206
00:09:42,122 --> 00:09:43,623
anyone else that kind of power.
207
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:46,108
Good shows change, I assume.
208
00:09:46,109 --> 00:09:48,151
Personally, I don't own a TV.
209
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,516
You're the first person to say that that I
210
00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:50,961
didn't immediately delete from my brain.
211
00:09:50,962 --> 00:09:54,838
Thank you.
212
00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:57,532
Emergency meeting at Shirley's
Sandwiches right now.
213
00:09:57,533 --> 00:09:58,414
Everyone freaking out.
214
00:09:58,415 --> 00:09:59,946
New lady is evil.
215
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,019
Crazy frown.
216
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:03,180
[NOISE].
217
00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:04,433
I should go.
218
00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:09,060
Abed, I could really use someone's help
in learning the ropes around here.
219
00:10:09,061 --> 00:10:12,705
I'll ask around.
220
00:10:12,706 --> 00:10:14,609
Friends, dumb hats.
221
00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:16,002
Totally talking down to you.
222
00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:16,954
She hates you.
223
00:10:16,955 --> 00:10:18,556
I got it from Jared.
224
00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:19,439
What are you guys doing back here?
225
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,275
Are you the big chilling?
226
00:10:20,276 --> 00:10:23,489
Yeah, only there's not a hippie that
died to make us come together and
227
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,036
complain.
228
00:10:24,037 --> 00:10:24,942
It's our school.
229
00:10:24,943 --> 00:10:26,172
Frankie's taking over the campus.
230
00:10:26,173 --> 00:10:28,625
She cancelled ladder's,
she's banning substances,
231
00:10:28,626 --> 00:10:30,677
she wants to shut down
Shirley's sandwiches.
232
00:10:30,678 --> 00:10:32,000
She called Annie a bitch.
233
00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:33,626
She implied I was a bitch.
234
00:10:33,627 --> 00:10:34,909
She implied Annie was a stuck up bitch who
235
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:36,133
thinks she's better than everyone.
236
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:37,341
Okay, now you're just-.
237
00:10:37,342 --> 00:10:38,339
She was nice to me.
238
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:39,500
In fact we kinda got along.
239
00:10:39,501 --> 00:10:43,796
Abed, are you sure she wasn't
actually being sweetly condescending?
240
00:10:43,797 --> 00:10:45,328
Yup, I learned to pick up on that one.
241
00:10:45,329 --> 00:10:48,841
I make a movement that we form
a separate, secret, committee.
242
00:10:48,842 --> 00:10:52,161
I second Britta's motion, not movement.
243
00:10:52,162 --> 00:10:55,554
I third Annie's number two-ing
of the movement Brita made.
244
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:56,624
Gross.
245
00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:58,814
Our mission to preserve the real Greendale.
246
00:10:58,815 --> 00:11:01,264
Oppose Frankie or drink.
247
00:11:01,265 --> 00:11:02,008
Whatever's easiest.
248
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,399
[SOUND].
249
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,843
Are you guys sure she's bad?
250
00:11:05,844 --> 00:11:08,569
Are you sure you're not doing what I
usually do, overreacting to change?
251
00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:10,258
Nobody's ever doing what
you usually do Abed.
252
00:11:10,259 --> 00:11:10,919
You're nuts.
253
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:11,629
Huh.
254
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:12,429
In a good way.
255
00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:13,139
I'm just saying.
256
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:13,699
Leave reality to us.
257
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,869
We always support you.
258
00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:17,729
Don't make it more dramatic than it is.
259
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:18,969
It's a blood oath to defy evil.
260
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,210
You're either in or you're out.
261
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:22,999
Can I hang around if I don't do the oath.
262
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,629
Oh, gee. You mean just be friends?
263
00:11:25,630 --> 00:11:27,172
Sure. Great, Abed.
264
00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:28,196
Okay.
265
00:11:31,526 --> 00:11:32,896
Can I have some pretzels?
266
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:38,142
No.
267
00:11:38,143 --> 00:11:42,537
Those are secret committee pretzels.
268
00:11:42,538 --> 00:11:44,490
Okay.
269
00:11:44,491 --> 00:11:49,761
Well.
270
00:11:49,762 --> 00:11:51,984
Yes, that was a test.
271
00:11:51,985 --> 00:11:54,117
You guys are bad friends.
272
00:11:54,118 --> 00:11:59,420
[MUSIC]
273
00:11:59,421 --> 00:12:00,975
Don't think of it as bad baking.
274
00:12:00,976 --> 00:12:02,952
Think of it as a crushing
blow to a gender stereotype.
275
00:12:02,953 --> 00:12:04,787
[MUSIC]
276
00:12:07,898 --> 00:12:11,594
Britta, it might help if every burnt
sandwich didn't come with a self-aware
277
00:12:11,595 --> 00:12:12,611
burnt sandwich bit.
278
00:12:12,612 --> 00:12:15,792
Is that how you're gonna help
increase sales, creative notes?
279
00:12:15,793 --> 00:12:18,207
I had that sign spinner idea.
280
00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:20,041
[SOUND].
281
00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:24,629
We're a restaurant inside a cafeteria
Annie, our weak point wasn't traffic.
282
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:28,065
Flo, Alice no fighting, can't
afford to lose this place.
283
00:12:28,066 --> 00:12:30,854
If I have to start drinking in the
men's room, the score in my head
284
00:12:30,855 --> 00:12:33,721
has to change from Trent Reznor to
Johnny Cash doing Trent Reznor.
285
00:12:33,722 --> 00:12:34,777
I'm a bartender Annie,
286
00:12:34,778 --> 00:12:37,150
I know a little bit more about
the human side of service.
287
00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:39,369
I can't eat this.
288
00:12:39,370 --> 00:12:40,379
Can I have my money back?
289
00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:41,300
You're human garbage.
290
00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:44,139
Hi, Mr. Winger.
291
00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:45,379
Nice lecture yesterday.
292
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,289
Don't patronize me Dick.
293
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:47,579
It might not seem like this, but
294
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:51,819
you're killing small, black owned business.
295
00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:53,661
I'll call it even for a drink with Mr.
Winger.
296
00:12:55,970 --> 00:12:56,589
That's absurd.
297
00:12:56,590 --> 00:12:57,090
You will?
298
00:13:00,209 --> 00:13:01,002
Let's see some ID.
299
00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:01,868
You snitch, you die.
300
00:13:01,869 --> 00:13:04,492
[SOUND].
301
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,165
Morning.
302
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,024
Morning.
303
00:13:06,025 --> 00:13:07,951
Morning.
304
00:13:07,952 --> 00:13:10,714
Well I guess we'll wait for
the others before we start.
305
00:13:10,715 --> 00:13:12,038
I don't think they're coming.
306
00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:16,229
What? The committee had a meeting
last night and decided you are evil.
307
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,839
Ooh. Wait, you guys had
a meeting last night?
308
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:18,549
So, we broke up as friends.
309
00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:21,139
Because I don't think you're evil.
310
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,789
I think you scare people,
311
00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:26,099
because you live in the real
world instead of up your butt.
312
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,789
I'm sorry that happened, Abed.
313
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:29,369
It's like I said yesterday at lunch.
314
00:13:29,370 --> 00:13:31,140
Drama and conflict are exciting and easy.
315
00:13:32,330 --> 00:13:33,809
Making a difference can be pretty boring.
316
00:13:33,810 --> 00:13:35,289
You guys had lunch?
317
00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:36,299
I'd like to try to live in that world.
318
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,949
I'm a little tired from all the drama,
the heroes, the villains, monsters.
319
00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:41,952
Pokemons. You're just a person
that sees things the way they are.
320
00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:42,765
Leprechauns.
321
00:13:42,766 --> 00:13:43,694
Scary.
322
00:13:43,695 --> 00:13:44,907
I don't know if I can be like that but
323
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,489
I don't think it makes
sense to be against it.
324
00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:48,489
You guys ever hear of The Slender Man?
325
00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:50,199
I'd like to try to help you.
326
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,399
And if possible, learn from you.
327
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,849
You guys on Reddit, 4Chan?
328
00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:53,989
That would be great, Abed.
329
00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:54,644
Cuz it's awesome.
330
00:13:54,645 --> 00:14:00,681
I think we'd all benefit if we were
more like you, so what do you say?
331
00:14:00,682 --> 00:14:01,215
[SOUND].
332
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:02,399
Let's order some food.
333
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,815
Let's save Greendale.
334
00:14:03,816 --> 00:14:04,767
Let's save Greendale.
335
00:14:04,768 --> 00:14:07,275
Tacos!
336
00:14:07,276 --> 00:14:09,364
We are something else.
337
00:14:09,365 --> 00:14:19,365
[MUSIC]
338
00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:25,215
Abed.
339
00:14:25,216 --> 00:14:26,074
Abed.
340
00:14:26,075 --> 00:14:26,771
Yeah?
341
00:14:26,772 --> 00:14:28,025
What are you doing?
342
00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,000
What do you mean?
343
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,701
Someone told me you were
sweeping, straightening clocks.
344
00:14:30,702 --> 00:14:32,269
Why are you cleaning that sign?
345
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:33,469
I gave you a list.
346
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:34,829
Yeah, the list felt
pretty similar visually.
347
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:38,629
I can't picture a montage cutting from
me verifying Diane's invoice to me
348
00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:40,529
emailing confirmation to Diane.
349
00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:41,209
Right.
350
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:42,519
But a montage is what, Abed?
351
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,209
It's a movie apologizing for reality.
352
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:45,689
And we are where?
353
00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:49,281
Reality. And what do people do here?
354
00:14:49,282 --> 00:14:51,377
They email Diane?
355
00:14:51,378 --> 00:15:01,378
[MUSIC]
356
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:08,443
Abed, if you change your clothes
one more time today, you're fired.
357
00:15:08,444 --> 00:15:13,806
Sorry.
358
00:15:13,807 --> 00:15:14,735
Hey, Abed.
359
00:15:14,736 --> 00:15:16,128
Hey, Todd.
360
00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:18,009
Are Andy and Bruno around?
361
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:20,053
No.
362
00:15:30,989 --> 00:15:35,400
Abed, maybe you should order the special.
363
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,513
I'll have the special.
364
00:15:37,514 --> 00:15:40,347
The specials are kept in the back.
365
00:15:44,317 --> 00:15:46,802
You should, you should go in the back.
366
00:15:50,907 --> 00:16:00,907
[FOREIGN].
367
00:16:13,697 --> 00:16:19,895
[SOUND] I'd like the special.
368
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:29,896
[MUSIC]
369
00:16:32,504 --> 00:16:35,382
Vaporizers, Skittles?
370
00:16:35,383 --> 00:16:36,520
Abed.
371
00:16:36,521 --> 00:16:37,426
Hey, Annie.
372
00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:38,540
This place is so conceptual.
373
00:16:38,541 --> 00:16:39,724
It's practical, too.
374
00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:41,439
We made enough money to save Shirley's.
375
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,670
And in an ironic way, because if
Shirley saw this, her soul would die.
376
00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,621
Hey, Abed, check this out.
377
00:16:45,622 --> 00:16:48,662
[SOUND].
378
00:16:48,663 --> 00:16:49,963
Oh, Britta's still the worst?
379
00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:50,706
Yeah.
380
00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,006
The bar gets dirty.
381
00:16:52,007 --> 00:16:55,282
You're gonna need someone to clean
it, probably after hours, and
382
00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:58,349
those floor polishers can get pretty loud.
383
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,709
I'd hate for someone to hear it.
384
00:17:00,710 --> 00:17:01,417
You blackmailing me?
385
00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:07,029
Just talking shop.
386
00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:08,129
What's the rumpus, Abed?
387
00:17:08,130 --> 00:17:08,774
Miller's Crossing.
388
00:17:08,775 --> 00:17:10,139
Mm hm.
389
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:10,979
This is really great.
390
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:12,269
You guys should be proud of yourselves.
391
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:12,959
We missed you.
392
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:13,799
Have a drink.
393
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,929
Put on an old timey jacket.
394
00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:17,137
That's okay, I don't
really do this anymore.
395
00:17:17,138 --> 00:17:19,550
All right, come on.
396
00:17:19,551 --> 00:17:21,871
I said I don't do this, see.
397
00:17:21,872 --> 00:17:23,543
You dirty rat.
398
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:25,308
Guys are all dirty rats.
399
00:17:25,309 --> 00:17:27,421
What's your romper room?
400
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,209
All right, maybe just one drink.
401
00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:32,088
Then maybe cut to a montage of drinks.
402
00:17:32,089 --> 00:17:35,292
[MUSIC]
403
00:17:35,293 --> 00:17:41,236
[LAUGH] [NOISE].
404
00:17:41,237 --> 00:17:43,187
[APPLAUSE].
405
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,765
Let's never stop being friends again ever.
406
00:17:44,766 --> 00:17:45,717
Mm hm.
407
00:17:45,718 --> 00:17:47,505
Cheers!
408
00:17:47,506 --> 00:17:49,850
We shouldn't have made you
choose between Frankie and us.
409
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:51,313
Oh, she's good for business.
410
00:17:51,314 --> 00:17:53,432
We're sorry that we made
you choose between-.
411
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:54,755
You're just repeating what I said.
412
00:17:54,756 --> 00:17:56,218
No, you're repeating what I said.
413
00:17:56,219 --> 00:17:57,356
Oh, I'm a time traveler?
414
00:17:57,357 --> 00:17:58,215
[LAUGH].
415
00:17:58,216 --> 00:17:59,097
This is the show.
416
00:17:59,098 --> 00:18:06,267
[LAUGH] Abed,
417
00:18:06,268 --> 00:18:11,310
I just got word from Diane that one
of your emails was a little shaky.
418
00:18:11,311 --> 00:18:12,634
Are you okay?
419
00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:13,493
I'm good.
420
00:18:13,494 --> 00:18:14,747
Late night last night.
421
00:18:14,748 --> 00:18:16,279
Yeah?
422
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,253
Yeah, I could use a little protein.
423
00:18:18,254 --> 00:18:23,970
I'm gonna go get an early lunch.
424
00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:25,898
You guys know about tardigrades?
425
00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:28,777
They're these microscopic creatures
that look like robot bears.
426
00:18:28,778 --> 00:18:29,822
They can survive in space.
427
00:18:29,823 --> 00:18:30,361
Mm. Mm hm.
428
00:18:30,362 --> 00:18:33,868
Get into space, you dirty tardigrades, see?
429
00:18:33,869 --> 00:18:35,354
[LAUGH].
430
00:18:35,355 --> 00:18:36,956
And they're everywhere.
431
00:18:36,957 --> 00:18:39,154
There's a lot of little things in
real life that are just as cool
432
00:18:39,155 --> 00:18:39,695
as fake stuff.
433
00:18:39,696 --> 00:18:41,414
I learned that working for Frankie.
434
00:18:41,415 --> 00:18:44,641
You guys would like her, you know.
435
00:18:44,642 --> 00:18:49,987
Raid!
436
00:18:49,988 --> 00:18:52,169
Is this what you guys want?
437
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:55,139
You wanna play cops and
robbers with costumes?
438
00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:56,140
Why is that guy a carrot?
439
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,119
Because they ran out.
440
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:58,629
Who tattled?
441
00:18:58,630 --> 00:19:04,149
In what world, Brita, do you see this
as covert enough to require tattling?
442
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:06,376
You built a bar in a school.
443
00:19:06,377 --> 00:19:08,634
There was lumber involved.
444
00:19:08,635 --> 00:19:11,208
I have been letting you hole up down here,
445
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:14,080
because it kept you
contained and satisfied,
446
00:19:14,081 --> 00:19:18,293
because you are all compulsively
defiant, but it wasn't enough.
447
00:19:18,294 --> 00:19:21,591
You had to drag Abed back in,
and Abed deserves better.
448
00:19:21,592 --> 00:19:22,496
Oh.
449
00:19:22,497 --> 00:19:25,724
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, it finally comes out.
450
00:19:25,725 --> 00:19:28,580
Abed deserves better.
451
00:19:28,581 --> 00:19:29,880
That's been out.
452
00:19:29,881 --> 00:19:30,901
Shut up, Leonard.
453
00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:33,804
I once mistook six people
for you at a pharmacy.
454
00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:34,965
It's not their fault, Frankie.
455
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:35,685
I chose this.
456
00:19:35,686 --> 00:19:37,635
These are my friends.
457
00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:39,144
I hate emailing Diane.
458
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,212
She can't commit to a font.
459
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,627
It's pathological, and so am I.
460
00:19:42,628 --> 00:19:44,299
This is where I belong.
461
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:51,102
I know you think that, Abed,
but you don't know any better.
462
00:19:51,103 --> 00:19:53,470
Whoops.
463
00:19:53,471 --> 00:19:56,326
But shut up, Leonard.
464
00:19:56,327 --> 00:19:57,139
You are.
465
00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:59,136
You are old.
466
00:19:59,137 --> 00:20:02,410
And you deserve less, because of your age.
467
00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:04,453
I don't, I don't actually believe that.
468
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:09,966
I'm just trying to, I'm trying
to, and everybody here is a,
469
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:14,762
is a fart a livid fart from
the butt of a lesser god.
470
00:20:14,763 --> 00:20:19,802
I'm, I'm better than this.
471
00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:25,073
Cut to everyone on campus getting
as drunk as they want montage.
472
00:20:25,074 --> 00:20:35,074
[MUSIC]
473
00:20:40,863 --> 00:20:42,882
Frankie hasn't come back to work today.
474
00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:44,507
That's terrible.
475
00:20:44,508 --> 00:20:46,086
The insurance company dropped us.
476
00:20:46,087 --> 00:20:47,503
The school has no insurance.
477
00:20:47,504 --> 00:20:48,431
What was Frankie's salary?
478
00:20:48,432 --> 00:20:49,058
A lot.
479
00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:50,080
What were the insurance premiums?
480
00:20:50,081 --> 00:20:51,009
A lot.
481
00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:53,447
Add those two numbers together,
that's your new school dance budget.
482
00:20:53,448 --> 00:20:55,676
Oh, nice.
483
00:20:55,677 --> 00:20:58,027
[MUSIC]
484
00:20:58,028 --> 00:21:00,332
Welcome to ladder!
485
00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:01,919
[APPLAUSE].
486
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,188
Yeah!
487
00:21:03,189 --> 00:21:13,868
[SOUND].
488
00:21:13,869 --> 00:21:17,339
Ladder!
489
00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:21,077
Who wants to see the ladders
professor go higher?
490
00:21:21,078 --> 00:21:24,119
[APPLAUSE].
491
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,928
Ladder!
492
00:21:26,929 --> 00:21:29,891
Aah! [NOISE].
493
00:21:29,892 --> 00:21:31,609
You did it, Jeff Winger!
494
00:21:31,610 --> 00:21:36,764
This is your school now.
495
00:21:36,765 --> 00:21:39,852
[SOUND] Annie.
496
00:21:39,853 --> 00:21:42,569
It was worth it.
497
00:21:42,570 --> 00:21:43,782
Aah!
498
00:21:43,783 --> 00:21:47,753
[MUSIC]
499
00:21:47,754 --> 00:21:51,259
[MUSIC]
500
00:21:51,260 --> 00:21:55,260
All right, that should be the extent
of the professor's medical bills.
501
00:21:55,261 --> 00:21:57,071
What, what about that
lawsuits from the students?
502
00:21:57,072 --> 00:21:58,464
I think we should fight those.
503
00:21:58,465 --> 00:22:00,322
Actually, I suggest you
settle out of court.
504
00:22:00,323 --> 00:22:01,065
This is my fault.
505
00:22:01,066 --> 00:22:01,738
Obviously not.
506
00:22:01,739 --> 00:22:02,388
It's my fault.
507
00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:03,155
It's my fault.
508
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:05,320
Guys, it's my fault.
509
00:22:05,321 --> 00:22:06,690
It's my fault.
510
00:22:06,691 --> 00:22:07,735
It's my fault.
511
00:22:07,736 --> 00:22:08,385
It's my fault.
512
00:22:08,386 --> 00:22:09,523
It's my fault.
513
00:22:09,524 --> 00:22:10,567
It's my fault.
514
00:22:10,568 --> 00:22:11,543
[CROSSTALK].
515
00:22:11,544 --> 00:22:12,634
It's my fault.
516
00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:13,679
It's my fault.
517
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:14,959
It's my fault.
518
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,060
[CROSSTALK].
519
00:22:16,061 --> 00:22:17,546
All right, all right, all right.
520
00:22:17,547 --> 00:22:19,404
So, whose fault wasn't it?
521
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:23,970
And who knows anything about
handling anything like this?
522
00:22:23,971 --> 00:22:26,789
In terms of hierarchy, I'm
a big believer in it.
523
00:22:26,790 --> 00:22:30,299
Someone needs to say, I'm in
charge, and that person is me.
524
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:33,169
That's my decision.
525
00:22:33,170 --> 00:22:34,933
Wait, what?
526
00:22:34,934 --> 00:22:35,676
I'm sorry?
527
00:22:35,677 --> 00:22:36,559
Who talks like that?
528
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,997
Why would anyone hire someone so pompous?
529
00:22:38,998 --> 00:22:42,773
Miss Dart, word of advice, change your
personality, or start looking for
530
00:22:42,774 --> 00:22:44,430
companies run by insane people.
531
00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:45,405
[SOUND].
532
00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:46,287
Don't hire this woman.
533
00:22:46,288 --> 00:22:47,147
Fifth time's the charm.
534
00:22:47,148 --> 00:22:49,376
He's barged the four offices
screaming, don't hire this woman.
535
00:22:49,377 --> 00:22:51,605
What the hell is going on?
536
00:22:51,606 --> 00:22:52,603
What are you doing here?
537
00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:53,648
How did you even find me?
538
00:22:53,649 --> 00:22:55,041
I emailed Diane.
539
00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:56,550
She knows way too much about
your schedule, by the way.
540
00:22:56,551 --> 00:23:00,753
Whatever he's offering you,
Greendale, well, we can't double it.
541
00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,727
We probably can't even match it.
542
00:23:02,728 --> 00:23:07,629
Whatever he's offering you, Greendale
will give you less, and an apology.
543
00:23:07,630 --> 00:23:11,257
Do you know-. Shh.
544
00:23:11,258 --> 00:23:14,387
It's not enough, but
545
00:23:14,388 --> 00:23:19,337
maybe if you added more apologies.
546
00:23:19,338 --> 00:23:24,567
Like a montage of them?
547
00:23:24,568 --> 00:23:26,518
We're sorry.
548
00:23:26,519 --> 00:23:36,519
[MUSIC]
549
00:24:30,743 --> 00:24:40,743
[MUSIC]
550
00:24:57,921 --> 00:24:59,963
[MUSIC]
551
00:24:59,964 --> 00:25:09,964
[SOUND].
552
00:25:14,940 --> 00:25:17,076
I told you I wouldn't be
needing dinner tonight.
553
00:25:17,077 --> 00:25:18,933
I'm guessing you wouldn't.
554
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:19,490
Not if you're looking for this.
555
00:25:19,491 --> 00:25:23,123
[MUSIC]
556
00:25:23,124 --> 00:25:23,999
How'd you know?
557
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,339
Nobody makes more crumbs than a cook.
558
00:25:26,340 --> 00:25:28,849
Well, the same goes for
clues and detectives.
559
00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:31,259
You're too busy solving murders
to get away with your own.
560
00:25:31,260 --> 00:25:34,829
Well, then, what about the case
of my wife and my legs, Shirley?
561
00:25:34,830 --> 00:25:36,199
Can you solve that one, huh?
562
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,009
Can you?
563
00:25:37,010 --> 00:25:39,109
Cuz if you can't, then I ain't
got nothing to live for.
564
00:25:39,110 --> 00:25:41,565
Begging your pardon, Mr. Butcher.
565
00:25:41,566 --> 00:25:44,353
I think the people on this
bayou would disagree.
566
00:25:44,354 --> 00:25:45,642
You rescued a runaway girl today.
567
00:25:45,643 --> 00:25:47,233
Rescued, balls.
568
00:25:47,234 --> 00:25:50,275
I couldn't even rescue
a, a bulb from a socket.
569
00:25:50,276 --> 00:25:52,028
And you did all the work today, didn't you?
570
00:25:52,029 --> 00:25:56,196
I'm just a detective from the
swamps of Atlanta, can't even walk.
571
00:25:56,197 --> 00:25:56,816
[NOISE] Oh.
572
00:25:56,817 --> 00:25:57,652
Aah!
573
00:25:57,653 --> 00:26:00,288
[NOISE] Then let me be your legs.
574
00:26:00,289 --> 00:26:03,790
Let me do for you what I did today
every week until you find your wife.
575
00:26:03,791 --> 00:26:04,835
Or your legs.
576
00:26:04,836 --> 00:26:09,374
You are a stubborn son of
a bitch, Shirley Bennett.
577
00:26:09,375 --> 00:26:10,083
Now come on.
578
00:26:10,084 --> 00:26:11,418
I have dinner to make.
579
00:26:11,419 --> 00:26:12,927
You got cases to solve.
580
00:26:12,928 --> 00:26:18,674
[MUSIC]
581
00:26:18,675 --> 00:26:23,887
[NOISE] Feeling someone's gonna
murder some tater tots tonight.
582
00:26:23,888 --> 00:26:30,516
That's no mystery at all.
583
00:26:30,517 --> 00:26:37,575
[SOUND].
584
00:26:37,576 --> 00:26:38,184
[MUSIC]
585
00:26:38,185 --> 00:26:39,420
Next week, on The Butcher and
586
00:26:39,421 --> 00:26:41,990
The Baker, when a new detective
on the Bayou disappears, and
587
00:26:41,991 --> 00:26:45,115
Butcher is the prime suspect, it's up
to Shirley to cook up some answers.
588
00:26:45,116 --> 00:26:55,116
Corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
589
00:27:21,037 --> 00:27:21,953
Did you get any of that?
590
00:27:21,954 --> 00:27:26,040
[MUSIC]
591
00:27:26,090 --> 00:27:30,640
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