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1
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,559
(Horns beeping)
2
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,158
PETE:
What were the band Blur previously called?
3
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,959
ADAM: Oh, er...was it Seymour?
- Very good.
4
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,917
- Woo-hoo!
- Blimey.
5
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,754
Right.
How many characters did Alec Guinness play
6
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,831
in the film Kind Hearts And Coronets?
7
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,717
JENNY: Put the radio on.
(Music starts)
8
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,153
- Seven.
- Eight.
9
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,879
- Ah, bollocks.
- l like this song.
10
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,316
What's the most popular name for a dog
in the USA?
11
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,197
- Oh, good one.
- Shut up!
12
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,236
♪ PACHELBEL: Canon in D Major
13
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,031
JOSH: l want MacDonald's Farm on.
14
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,475
DAVlD:
We're listening to Mummy and Daddy's music.
15
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,790
KAREN: Oh, come on, David. Be fair.
16
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,713
He's got to learn
he can't have everything his own way.
17
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,473
l want MacDonald's Farm on!
18
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,551
- Josh!
- (Screams)
19
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,549
- Right.
♪ Old MacDonald Had A Farm
20
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,432
(Rock music on radio)
21
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,748
ADAM: No, no, no, next.
22
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,831
♪ Disco
- Oh, no! No, not that.
23
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,434
♪ Strident pop
- No, change it.
24
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,715
♪ Synth-pop
25
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,233
Yeah, that's all right.
26
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:57,233
Right. Whose famous last words were these?
27
00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,151
''l shall hear in heaven. ''
28
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:00,878
Yours, if you don't put that down!
29
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,791
l'm trying to make things go quicker.
30
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,233
Well, you're failing.
31
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,469
Well, thank you.
32
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,916
PETE: Actually, to be honest, l feel a bit sick.
33
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,276
Well, that's cos you're reading in the car, love.
34
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,749
Rachel, will you put the window down?
35
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,828
Ta.
36
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,150
PETE: What are you doing?
ADAM: Was it Mozart?
37
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,879
JENNY: Beethoven.
ADAM: Ah, clever!
38
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,791
You're clever.
39
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,836
(Josh retching)
40
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,036
He did warn you he was going to be sick.
41
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,270
l'd just had the car fully valeted.
42
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:37,797
David, we've run out of tissues. Could you
give me your handkerchief or something?
43
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,472
Tissues!
44
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,913
OK.
45
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,116
Oh, this is a great way to start a holiday.
46
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,954
- Oh, no!
- (Laughs) Oh, sweetheart!
47
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,476
He's going to stain the leather trim. (Sighs)
48
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,839
- Why have we stopped? Are we lost?
- We're here.
49
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,957
- Where?
PETE: The back of beyond, by the looks of it.
50
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,157
Where we're staying.
51
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,275
There?
52
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,399
Does everyone know
what they're doing for the Millennium?
53
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,314
Millennium? Oh, l'm trying to avoid it.
l'm sick and tired of the whole thing.
54
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,676
- Yeah, worse than Christmas.
- Still, you must have plans.
55
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,753
Plans, my arse. No, l'm just glad
that Rachel and me are going to be together.
56
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,274
We waited to see
what parties we were invited to.
57
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,033
DAVlD: And?
- We're still waiting.
58
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,351
- You haven't been invited to any?
- Oh, yeah, course we have. Loads.
59
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,192
Er...one.
60
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,637
But not by people we'd want to spend any time
with. Certainly not the end of the century.
61
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,870
Well, we thought we'd just have a quiet night in.
62
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,188
On New Year's Eve?
63
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:17,432
Well, we weren't, you know, sure
that we'd have anything to celebrate.
64
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:22,640
So, that's it, is it? l mean, this is possibly
the most historic moment of our lives,
65
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,836
and you two are at a party you'd rather miss,
66
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,354
and you two are gonna be at home
watching television.
67
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,398
What's wrong with that?
Who says you have to have a good time?
68
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,870
New Year's always shite.
The Millennium will be a hundred times worse.
69
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,154
Thousand.
70
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,596
lt's meaningless. lt's not a moment in history.
lt's a moment in time.
71
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,240
Why do anything special? What are you doing?
72
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,675
Oh, we're going away.
73
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,830
We've rented this...big place,
74
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:50,198
and we thought
we might invite a few friends to join us.
75
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:52,874
Oh, no.
You see, that... that sounds very nice, actually.
76
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,316
- You didn't want to do anything special.
- No, no, but, you know...
77
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,039
You should be with friends,
shouldn't you, David?
78
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,918
Well, the question is, which friends to invite?
79
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,275
KAREN: Oh, David, shut up!
80
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,555
Look, we'd really like it if you all come.
81
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,392
(Cheering)
82
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:12,439
l would have invited you all sooner,
if l'd known we could book this particular place.
83
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:17,071
Somewhere l used to go on my family holidays,
and l'd be allowed to take a school friend.
84
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,435
l mean, it really is fantastic.
85
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,630
You spent your holidays here?
86
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,756
Yeah, some of them.
87
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,874
You'll never take my castle!
88
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,518
l'll have your castle.
89
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,556
En garde!
90
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,192
Bloody hell!
91
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,429
What were your holidays like, then, Pete?
92
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,432
Oh, good shot, Pete!
93
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,592
Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
94
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,198
He'll play for England one of these days, this lad.
95
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,875
Do you think so, Dad?
Do you really, really think so?
96
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,916
Captain, l shouldn't wonder.
97
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:17,316
When you said it's a castle, l thought you meant
in your imagination. But it really is a castle.
98
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,277
Yeah, it was, in Tudor times.
99
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,909
- Does it have central heating?
- Yep. Radiators throughout. Hot water on tap.
100
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,513
They were clever, those Tudors.
101
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,991
This causeway floods twice a day,
so to leave the island, you've got to time it right.
102
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,116
JENNY: Why would you want to leave?
103
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,754
JENNY: God, it's amazing, isn't it?
104
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,751
PETE: lt can't come cheap, though.
105
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,796
ADAM: No, no, David managed to get a deal.
106
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,632
RACHEL: For the Millennium?
107
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,439
JENNY: David might disappear up his own arse
sometimes,
108
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,590
but he knows how to organise a holiday.
109
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,398
What are you doing?
110
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,074
Oh, just wondering what you'd brought.
111
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,948
You didn't happen to pack that silk thing...
112
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,669
that l got for our first New Year together?
No? Yeah?
113
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,479
- l packed for warmth.
- Ah, well, that can't have been warm.
114
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,278
Well, l wouldn't know.
115
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,590
l'd hardly got it on before you took it off.
116
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,954
Whoa! Whoa!
117
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,996
(Shrieks)
118
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,992
Well...
119
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,513
l think they like it.
120
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:50,310
David, they absolutely love it.
You are very, very, very clever.
121
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,758
You know, l think it's gonna be good,
this break. Don't you?
122
00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,230
Yeah, l do. l think it's gonna be very therapeutic.
123
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,754
Love, you don't mind us sharing a bed, do you?
124
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,070
Oh, shut up. Hey, come on. We're married.
125
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,869
lt's...you know. lt's fine. Whatever.
126
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,793
Hey, we had a four-poster on our honeymoon,
didn't we?
127
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,668
- One thing at a time, love.
- Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
128
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,671
(Moaning)
129
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,751
Hey, what's that noise?
130
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,956
- Do you think it's a ghost?
- Whoo-oo!
131
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,393
(Jenny laughs)
132
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:25,913
(Moaning)
133
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,560
No, l think it's an orgasm.
134
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,437
lt is.
135
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,471
The walls here must be paper-thin.
136
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,790
Either that or they're bloody noisy.
137
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:40,271
Come on, Pete. You can't listen.
Come on. lt's private. Come here.
138
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,476
(Adam and Rachel moaning)
139
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,437
Hey!
140
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,517
(Giggling)
141
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,194
Ah! Hi.
142
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,316
So, you've finished, then?
143
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,833
Unpacking, l mean.
144
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,559
- Yeah.
- David suggested we go and make a fire.
145
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,551
- Yeah...
- Yeah. (Coughs) A fire.
146
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,359
- Yeah. Good.
- Hot.
147
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,755
Right. Come on. Here come the Chippendales.
Let's have a look at you.
148
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,037
KAREN: Points for style!
RACHEL: And physique.
149
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,634
JENNY: Yeah, get your kit off, lads.
150
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:24,872
Ah, and first up,
the rugged, outdoor type, David Marsden.
151
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,475
Look at those shoulders,
honed to perfection on the golf course!
152
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,391
Come on, Daddy!
153
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,994
- Yes!
- (Cheering)
154
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,355
Devastating!
155
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,000
JENNY: He sets the early pace. Well played.
156
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,197
And next up, it's Adam Williams.
157
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,236
What's he gonna go for?
158
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,794
Oh, he's playing safe.
He's taking on a wood chip.
159
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,233
(Booing)
160
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:55,036
Oh, thanks to the crowd, he's changed his mind.
Has he taken on more than he can chew?
161
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,112
Go on, son. Chop to it. Come on!
162
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,831
(Laughter)
163
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,992
Oooh! Almost got your pride intact.
164
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,911
All right. Here we go!
165
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,079
- Next, the people's favourite. La-la-la...
(Electric guitar)
166
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,038
Yes, they don't call him The Axeman for nothing.
167
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,999
Whole forests tremble
at the sound of his foot falling.
168
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:26,278
lt's a masterclass in lumberjacking. Go for it!
169
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,554
Rubbish!
170
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,153
(Laughter)
171
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,754
(Laughs) Ohh! Rubbish, Pete!
172
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:36,071
- Shut up, will you?
- l'm embarrassed.
173
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,879
Where's your pride, Pete?
174
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,758
Now,
perhaps we should establish a few ground rules.
175
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,593
(Laughs) You're serious?
176
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,717
Yeah. How about a swear box
for anyone mentioning the M-word?
177
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,279
- What's that?
- Motherfu...
178
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,749
- Millennium!
- Oh, no, hold on. l'm all for that.
179
00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:01,436
l thought you were talking about a rota system.
Cooking and cleaning and all that bollocks.
180
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,158
Well, we have to do that as well.
181
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:08,075
Now, do we each want to do our own chores,
or take things in turn?
182
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,997
l'm not chopping wood again.
183
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,389
And we need to sort out a kitty system.
184
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:17,314
- But all this can wait, can't it, David?
JENNY: Yeah, we're on holiday.
185
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,630
Come on. Let's have a laugh.
186
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,953
(Squeals)
187
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,349
(Josh cries)
188
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,199
♪ You've gotta believe it
You know that it's true
189
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,919
♪ l've seen it before, and so have you
190
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,276
♪ And we couldn't escape if we wanted to
191
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,316
(Shrieking)
192
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,235
♪ You know, they're always on my mind
193
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,197
♪ They're a judgement so sublime
194
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,350
♪ 21 st century
195
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,395
Wow!
196
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,353
♪ Century girls
197
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:04,394
♪ l won't hide
what l can't deny for long inside my head
198
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:10,594
♪ lf l had wings,
then l would fly beside you to your bed
199
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,154
♪ Cos there's no-one just like you
200
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,595
♪ To break my heart in two
201
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,797
♪ The 21 st century
202
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,836
♪ Century girls
203
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,270
♪ 21 st century
204
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,078
♪ Century girls
205
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,435
Daddy!
206
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,074
♪ Horror-film music
207
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,116
(Screaming)
208
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:00,919
Whooooo!
209
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,309
Oh, l don't like it!
210
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,356
(Shrieking)
211
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,151
Hugh?
212
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,515
Are you down here?
213
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,989
l'm not playing any more.
214
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,274
Hugh?
215
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,033
- Boo!
- (Gasps)
216
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,270
- Scared you.
- No, you didn't.
217
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,718
Mrs Marsden, David's wet himself!
218
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,000
''Cannon to the right of them,
Cannon to the left of them,
219
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,389
Cannon in front of them volleyed and thundered.
220
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,710
Stormed at with shot and shell,
221
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,916
Boldly they rode and well.
222
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,958
lnto the jaws of death, into the mouth of hell,
223
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,792
Rode the six hundred.''
224
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,399
Yes!
225
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,835
Well done, David!
226
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,399
No, there's more.
227
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:56,993
(Groans)
228
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,277
Hey, that was good craic tonight,
wasn't it, love?
229
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,989
- Yeah, it were a laugh.
- l just hope the nipper sleeps through tonight.
230
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,036
Mm-hm.
231
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,356
(Groaning)
232
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,756
Oh, now David and Karen are at it.
233
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,520
- (Groaning stops)
- Mercifully short, mind.
234
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,194
- Doesn't surprise me.
- Mmm.
235
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,236
(Ecstatic groans)
236
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,233
BOTH: Bloody hell.
237
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,151
(Protracted moan)
238
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,280
PETE:
(American accent) Night, Adam. Night, Rachel.
239
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,238
ADAM AND RACHEL: Night, Peter.
- Night, David. Night, Karen.
240
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,390
KAREN: Night, Peter.
241
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:39,833
Go on.
242
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,751
DAVlD: (Reluctantly) Good night, Pete.
243
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,752
PETE: Night, Jenny.
- Night, Peter.
244
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,594
PETE: (Normal voice)
Actually, l think l'm gonna need another piss.
245
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,199
(Giggling)
246
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,078
Er...what's that?
247
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,388
Millennium clock.
248
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,153
- Oh, that's a quid!
- Oh, piss.
249
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,832
- How does it work?
- Batteries.
250
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,833
Oh, l see. lt's a normal clock, with a read-out
that counts down to the Millennium.
251
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,309
- Two quid!
- Oh, bugger!
252
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,674
ls it accurate?
253
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,035
- Quartz precision.
- And it runs on batteries?
254
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,911
Er...yeah,
we set it by the speaking clock at home.
255
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,278
But there's no TV and radio here, so how
are we gonna know when it's the...big moment?
256
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,238
- Nearly said Millennium.
- Now, that is a quid!
257
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,595
- Shite.
- Hey, have you seen this?
258
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,752
- What?
- David's written us out a rota.
259
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,876
- What?
- You and Pete are cooking tonight.
260
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,076
Oh, no, l'm on holiday.
261
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,310
- Well, you've still got to eat.
- So have we.
262
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,312
- But me and Adam can't cook.
- Why can't we do the washing-up?
263
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,789
- You're down to do that, as well.
- Huh?
264
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,758
She's right. We're down to do the lot!
That's not fair.
265
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,432
Come on. What does he take us for?
266
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,669
Women?
267
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,830
Oh, well said, Germaine.
268
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,553
David, why don't you just take the car?
269
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,631
The tide will be in shortly.
270
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,438
Do you know what you're doing?
271
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,114
Karen,
it's a voyage of only a few hundred metres.
272
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,350
ln fact, ''voyage'' is rather a grand word for it.
273
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,908
(Motor starts)
274
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,518
Take care.
275
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,388
RACHEL: Bye, David.
- Don't forget the booze, big fella.
276
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:29,158
♪ Nearer, my God...
277
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:35,835
♪ Nearer to thee
278
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,755
JENNY:
You and Adam - you seem to be doing good.
279
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,354
RACHEL: Yeah? What makes you say that?
280
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,396
l don't know. Just seeing you together.
281
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:54,189
Well...actually, just sort of hearing you together.
282
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,955
Yeah, l think we've finally put all that...
283
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,235
Kris stuff behind us.
284
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,470
Yeah? Oh, that's good, Rach.
285
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,755
- Thank you.
- That's good. l'm happy for you.
286
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,719
Thanks.
You and Pete seem to be doing OK, too.
287
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,314
- Yeah, we do, don't we?
- Yeah.
288
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,595
lt's funny, cos, sort of...
289
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:17,514
l just didn't think that you could
sort of fall in love with someone, you know,
290
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,556
all over again, but...
291
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,278
..maybe you can.
292
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:26,194
Of course you can.
Lightning strikes in the same place twice.
293
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,829
No, it doesn't! That's the point.
294
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,148
Oh, God!
295
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,073
No... No, it doesn't. Er...
296
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,470
That was a very bad example. Sorry!
297
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,471
(Chuckles)
298
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,915
JENNY: Anyway...
299
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,956
So far, so good.
300
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,036
Yeah. We'll see.
301
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,196
God, l love it here.
302
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,670
RACHEL: lt's so gorgeous.
- lt's beautiful.
303
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,274
PETE:
lt's dead boring here. There's nothing to do.
304
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,555
- We're playing golf.
- Shot!
305
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,269
No, we're not.
We're chipping balls into a wooden boat...
306
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,271
Whoa! Hang on.
307
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,669
..because we're bored shitless.
308
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,716
l found a shop there selling fireworks.
309
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,268
l thought we might set off a few
to welcome the New Year.
310
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,316
- Ah, that's a quid.
- No, it isn't.
311
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,358
- Yeah, it is. You said Millennium.
- No, you did.
312
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,919
(Groans)
313
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,116
Can you guys give me a hand with that stuff?
314
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,111
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, in a minute.
315
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,272
We're in the middle of a tense battle.
l'm Tiger Woods, obviously.
316
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,316
And he's Nick Faldo.
317
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,960
Well, at least, he's playing like Nick Faldo.
318
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:37,955
Erm...sorry, but could you mind the clubs?
Cos they're brand-new.
319
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,792
Yeah.
320
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,951
l reckon we should shove one up his arse.
What do you reckon? A putter?
321
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,110
A three-wood would go further.
322
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,470
You know, l'm never coming on holiday with him
again. lt's just...
323
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,678
One night in the pub l could stand.
But if there was a lock-in, absolutely no way.
324
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:58,070
He's... He's driving me mad.
All these rules and rotas.
325
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,310
lt's like being on holiday with your mam.
326
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,791
(Seagull cries)
- God Almighty! l think you got a birdie.
327
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,519
Actually, maybe an albatross. (Laughs)
328
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,549
What are we gonna do about tea tonight?
329
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,438
Cheat. Do you fancy a pint later?
330
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,431
Oh, do l! He's only bought wine.
331
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,476
Well...
332
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,430
(Whispers)
lf you show me yours, l'll show you mine.
333
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,232
Oh, my God, l didn't see you there.
334
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,197
Are you all right?
335
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,232
Fine.
336
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,151
What's wrong?
337
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,398
Nothing.
338
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,031
Karen...l don't think anyone likes me.
339
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,111
What?
340
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:25,113
They laugh behind my back.
They don't want me around.
341
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,679
Who?
342
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,876
Pete and Adam. Jenny.
343
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,957
Ramona hates me.
344
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,313
Rachel really likes you.
345
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,154
So, you admit it's true?
346
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,628
David, darling, no-one dislikes you.
347
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,995
They just maybe find you a little bit intense -
348
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,275
you know, playing milk monitor the whole time.
349
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,317
l just want people to enjoy themselves.
350
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:55,678
l know you do, darling, but you can't force them
to, and they might resent you trying.
351
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,672
You think l should tone it down a bit?
352
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,314
Maybe you should scrap
the Cluedo tournament.
353
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:08,954
OK.
354
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,471
PETE: Woo-hoo! This is great.
355
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,516
ADAM: Yeah. l love it.
356
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:28,039
- Don't you think they'll miss us?
- l told them we were going on a nature ramble.
357
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,714
- What, and they believed you?
- David even wanted to come.
358
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,756
l had to creep out behind his back.
359
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:38,198
What's in this box here? Blimey,
it's the fireworks. We forgot to take them in.
360
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,396
Oh, just put that rag on them and keep them dry.
361
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,718
(Posh voice)
Yes, one wouldn't want to ruin his display.
362
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,429
- (Posh) No, we might piss him off slightly more!
- Yes.
363
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,318
Oh, the life on the ocean waves!
364
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,994
(Pete whistles)
365
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:58,039
RAMONA: Under that rock there.
There's one under the rock. Quick, quick, quick!
366
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:00,714
- Where?
- He's gone under there.
367
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,349
- Come on.
- lt's very good of you to come on this trip.
368
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,079
l thought you'd spend the Millennium
with your boyfriend.
369
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,991
Yeah, well, we had talk about it.
370
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,435
(Shouting in Spanish)
371
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:36,029
(Screaming)
372
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,993
(Sobbing)
373
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,832
God, that's awful.
374
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,354
No, he'll be back next week. l'll see him then.
375
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,197
Got one!
376
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:54,637
Another one?
You are such a good little crab-catcher!
377
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,638
Cheers.
378
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,554
Adam, l really think we should phone David
and let him know where we are.
379
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,949
Pete, will you relax? We're on our holidays.
380
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,191
Come on. We'll have these,
pick up the pizzas and be back before dark.
381
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,637
Yeah, but it's my turn to give the nipper a bath.
l don't want to be in Jenny's bad books.
382
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:18,748
Oh, right. And you think, by telling her we're
down the pub, you'll get some Brownie points?
383
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,392
Point taken.
384
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,678
You know something?
Since having cancer, beer's tasted better.
385
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,997
You mean having a gonad chopped off
improves your taste buds?
386
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,435
No, you bollocks! l mean you appreciate it more.
387
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,080
Yeah, obviously. lt makes you less irritable.
388
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,752
You were so lucky having cancer.
389
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,512
Really?
390
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,238
Oh, you're all right now.
391
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,788
Oh, yeah. l mean, l'm a bollock short, but...
392
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,872
But you got Rachel back.
You know. l wish it had happened to me.
393
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,439
You and Jen are together.
394
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,671
Yeah, we're under the same roof,
but we're not back together.
395
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:56,070
l mean, she's making the effort,
but it doesn't come naturally.
396
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,869
l mean,
if l'd had cancer or a near-death experience...
397
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,349
or even been in a coma,
398
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,954
she might learn to love me again.
399
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,554
Well, you be careful what you wish for.
400
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,870
Come on, let's bed these.
401
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,358
Hey, are you sure
you're in a fit state to drive this thing?
402
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,590
Huh? Four pints? Piece of piss!
403
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,079
Watch this!
404
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,118
- Oi! Pack it in, will you?
- Round we go!
405
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,033
PETE: Come on! What are you doing?
406
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:28,192
Oi! Oi! Mind the pizzas, will you?
407
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,589
Oi, stop mucking about.
408
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,194
- This is dangerous.
- All right, all right.
409
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,714
(Motor cuts out)
- See? Now look what you've done.
410
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,633
Oh, it's all right. Just calm down, tensionhead.
411
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,550
Stop buggering about. These pizzas
are going cold. Just get it restarted.
412
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,596
l'm trying!
413
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,236
Watch it!
414
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,989
- Snap!
- Yeah!
415
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,640
There's no sign of Adam or Pete.
Have you seen them?
416
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,836
- No.
(Baby crying)
417
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,912
Oh, great. The baby's woken up.
418
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,350
lt's his turn to give him his bath. Oh, God.
419
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,159
l'm coming, love! All right.
420
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,479
Snap!
421
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,471
Yay!
422
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,835
Well done, Josh. Well done.
423
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,357
PETE: You don't know what you're doing.
You'll flood the engine.
424
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,113
ADAM:
Since when did you become a marine engineer?
425
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:29,318
PETE: Just give it a couple of minutes,
and everything will be all right. Trust me.
426
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,994
ADAM: Yeah, you're probably right.
427
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,036
l could murder some pizza.
428
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,595
Do you think we should maybe look for them?
429
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,478
JENNY: They'll turn up. They always do.
430
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,678
Yeah, but what if they've...
slipped on a rock or something?
431
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,558
Well, if one of them had,
the other would have come for help.
432
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,200
JENNY:
Oh, they're playing silly buggers somewhere.
433
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,590
Either that or they're trying
to duck out of cooking the evening meal.
434
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,468
- Might be a blessing.
- l can't help worrying.
435
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,516
(Adam grunting)
436
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,478
Please, face it. lt's not gonna work.
437
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,152
Oh, God.
438
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,959
Christ, it's getting dark. What are we gonna do?
439
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,352
- l suggest we paddle.
- What with?
440
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,079
Here - this.
441
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:28,551
- No, l think we should be getting back.
- No, no, to paddle with.
442
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,428
Oh, right. OK.
You go over there and start that side, yeah?
443
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,748
Yeah.
444
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,831
- OK, are you ready?
- Go.
445
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,150
Oh! Hey, steady.
446
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:42,355
Sorry.
447
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,715
- How are you getting on?
- Not good.
448
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,518
No, me neither.
449
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,556
Adam!
450
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,436
Hey, l've found more torches.
451
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:58,150
Right. Give them here. Jenny, you've got one.
Rachel, here. We each take a different direction.
452
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:01,437
- David, will you stop bossing us about?
- Rachel, it makes sense.
453
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,236
Sorry. You're right.
454
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:06,799
l'm going this way.
455
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,030
Adam!
456
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,953
- Pete!
- Adam!
457
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,314
Adam!
458
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:15,628
Pete!
459
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,676
Adam!
460
00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:22,156
Adam!
461
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,990
Ah, this is no good. Forget it.
My paddle's gone soggy.
462
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,513
Mine too.
463
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,715
Maybe we should have another slice of pizza.
464
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,360
l don't even know which direction we're heading.
465
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,635
- Shh. Listen. Listen.
- (Echoing call)
466
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,234
Can you hear that?
467
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:44,918
That's probably just the wind.
468
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,670
Adam, l'm scared.
469
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,638
We'll be all right.
The wind'll blow us back to shore.
470
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,233
Or out to sea.
471
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,076
Forget it. lt's not working.
472
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,155
- Nothing.
- Right, let's ring the coastguards.
473
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,789
- Do you really think that's necessary?
- Karen, they could be in the water.
474
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,839
Or they could be winding us up.
Why don't we check the house once more?
475
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:22,277
David, we have checked the house. There is
no-one here. Please phone the coastguard!
476
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:25,316
- Right.
(Bleep)
477
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,111
- Oh, shit.
- What?
478
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,308
No signal.
479
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,271
ADAM: This is all your fault.
480
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:38,794
Oh, yeah?
You were the one that was buggering about.
481
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,792
ADAM: Who wanted a near-death experience?
You had to take me!
482
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,314
PETE: Oh, l only wanted the one pint,
and then go back.
483
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,234
- Ah, away and boil your head!
- Oh, kiss my arse!
484
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,637
- OK, that's the lights on outside.
- Right, l've done the tower.
485
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,917
- l need to turn his headlights on.
- Good idea. l'll get my keys.
486
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,956
God, l need a pee.
487
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,270
Oh, my God, Pete, look. Look!
488
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,996
Oi! Oi! Oi!
489
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,230
Oi, over here!
490
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,276
Hey!
491
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:19,918
Adam!
492
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,436
- They can't hear. Have you got a lighter?
- What? They'll never see that.
493
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,193
No, you bollocks.
l'm gonna light the rag and wave it.
494
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,236
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
495
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,350
- Brilliant!
- Oi!
496
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,829
Oi! Help! Hello!
497
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,595
Over here!
498
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,592
- Adam!
- Adam!
499
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,233
Karen! Karen, look. What's that?
500
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,194
Over here! Over here!
501
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,191
Oi! Oi!
502
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,555
Oh, my hands are on fire!
503
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:04,155
- Throw it away! Throw it overboard.
- Where? Aaaarghh!
504
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,353
Aaaarghh! We're on fire!
Abandon ship! Abandon ship!
505
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:14,673
BOTH: Ohhhhh...shit!
506
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,193
- Eh?
- The tide's gone out!
507
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,113
- We're saved!
- Woooh!
508
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,758
(Cheering)
509
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:29,713
The fireworks!
510
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,395
Were you scared?
511
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,948
l would have made it through.
512
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,237
The sea wasn't rough. We had pizza.
513
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,357
Worst-case scenario:
we could have huddled up for warmth.
514
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,396
l was.
515
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,356
Yeah, so was l.
516
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:20,476
l mean, you know, l've just beaten cancer.
l didn't think it was fair to be lost at sea.
517
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,193
Promise you won't ever
do anything like that again.
518
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:27,992
Ever's a long time, Bradley.
519
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:31,479
l'm not going anywhere.
520
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:36,395
How could you be so stupid? You put your life
on the line for a pint and a takeaway pizza?
521
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,996
- Don't be daft! We weren't in any danger.
- Listen to me, right? Rachel were worried sick.
522
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,672
l didn't know what to think.
523
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,911
Well, do you know what?
A little bit of concern would have been nice!
524
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,070
Listen to me. l wanted you back safely, right,
525
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,833
so that l could throttle you! A little light maiming.
526
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,310
l mean, God, Pete, you could have drowned!
You could have drowned.
527
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,868
PETE:
The tide was out. lt's easier to drown in a bath.
528
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,191
You weren't to know that. lt were pitch-black!
529
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,874
You ought to be thankful
me and Adam are still alive!
530
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,633
Oh, my God... l am thankful, right?
531
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,030
l'm thankful
that our son won't grow up without his dad.
532
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,268
- Hi-di-ho.
- Hi.
533
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,828
- God, did you hear them last night?
- Who couldn't?
534
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:40,390
- They heard them on the mainland.
- Do you think we should say something?
535
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,630
Yeah, like, ''Can you keep it down in future?''
536
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,029
What can you say? Best just to leave them to it.
537
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,759
They're probably not even aware
that we heard them.
538
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,195
- Pretend everything's normal.
- Morning.
539
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:51,554
ALL: Morning!
540
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,350
- Sleep well?
- Yeah. You heard us rowing, then?
541
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,158
- Rowing? No.
- No.
542
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,869
No? Oh, that's funny.
lt's just that we heard you having sex all night.
543
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,951
- No, you didn't.
- Not last night.
544
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,598
- Night before.
- And last night.
545
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,670
- And this morning.
- That was me being sick.
546
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,433
- lt was Ramona's paella.
- She said it was fresh.
547
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:15,398
- Yeah, she did.
- Josh told us where they found the crabs.
548
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,358
- Found them dead in a rock pool.
- Oh, you're joking?
549
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:31,992
Are you all right, Pete?
550
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,237
Yeah.
551
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,756
No, actually. No. l'm annoyed with somebody.
552
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,992
- Who?
- David. He put me down to make the fire.
553
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,389
(Laughs)
554
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,032
Pete, we've never discussed
me telling Jenny about you and Amy.
555
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,350
- Are you going to apologise?
- No.
556
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,118
l'm just very sorry it led to so much trouble.
557
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:11,040
(Sighs) Look, it's not your fault. lt's mine.
l should never have got involved to start with.
558
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,271
l just hope that you work things out.
l'd really hate it if you split up.
559
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,191
What?
Me and Jenny, we're never gonna break up.
560
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:22,838
At least, l hope not.
561
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,509
l mean,
Jenny was bound to find out in the long run.
562
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,751
You telling her...
just saved me the grief from later on.
563
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,159
Do you think so?
564
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,678
No. l'm just telling you that
to make you feel better.
565
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:43,109
By the way, we used up all the wood
for the fire last night.
566
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,273
(Throws down trowel)
567
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,749
♪ Rock 'n' roll
568
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:56,515
PETE: Hey! Go on, girls! Lovely.
569
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,398
ADAM: Very good. Very good.
PETE: Go on, Jen.
570
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,436
(Laughs)
571
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,474
ADAM: Oh, you're gorgeous.
572
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,154
PETE: Brilliant.
573
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,358
- Good arse, Karen.
PETE: That's the stuff. Go on!
574
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:16,398
DAVlD: Down, boy.
PETE: Shake it, girls. Lovely.
575
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,671
PETE: (Chuckles) Go on, Jen. Nice.
576
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,716
(High-pitched) l want to get out.
577
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:28,349
Come on, then. Only for a short time.
Come on. Up, up. Hello there.
578
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,112
- Hello.
- What's your name?
579
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,873
- Gilly Gall.
- Billy Ball?
580
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:34,473
(Laughing)
581
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,551
- How are you?
- l'm thirsty.
582
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,995
- What do you want to drink?
- A gottle of geer.
583
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,433
Gottle of geer.
584
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,592
- What are you looking at?
- Nothing.
585
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:47,150
- What? Are you looking up Karen's skirt?
- Yeah, l can see her geaver.
586
00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:48,753
(Laughs)
587
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,319
- You can see her what?
- Geaver.
588
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,868
- Now, back in the box.
- l'm not going in the gox.
589
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,157
Go on, you dirty animal! Beast, get down.
590
00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:58,196
(Cheering)
591
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,472
(Cicadas chirping)
592
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:07,349
Do you remember l asked you a question once,
and you said no?
593
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,556
Was this about three in a bed?
594
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,392
Hmm.
595
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,950
About two in a church. Or a registry office.
596
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:19,673
Yes.
597
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:22,992
You mean you want to?
598
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,150
No, l remember the question.
599
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,276
Ah. Er...
600
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,316
So, what do you think?
601
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,715
l think...l love you.
602
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,195
l think l want to spend the rest of my life
with you, have your child...
603
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,555
- Or children.
- Whatever.
604
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,676
But...
605
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:45,716
Marriage?
606
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,155
Why? What's the point?
607
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:51,198
Oh, l don't know. Tax. Presents.
608
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,352
To make a grand statement to the world.
609
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,396
Do you think the world's interested?
610
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,152
Hmm.
611
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,994
How much do you think a wedding would cost?
612
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,877
Oh, l don't know. Five grand.
613
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,714
Then, of course, there's the honeymoon.
Not that we could afford one.
614
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,677
Except a couple of days in Grimsby.
615
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,432
Why don't we just blow the whole thing
on a couple of weeks in Bali...
616
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,636
and see if the mood takes us while we're there?
617
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:22,392
Marry on a beach?
618
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,517
Or just have great sex.
619
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,556
Or both.
620
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:31,992
l've never done it on a beach.
621
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,838
Well, not with you, anyhow!
622
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,556
(Rachel giggles)
623
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,552
Hey, Rach, are you going into the village?
624
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,189
- Yeah, l'm shopping for tonight.
- Can l come, please? l want to go to a chemist.
625
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,033
- Oh, l'll go for you, if you want.
- No, l fancy a break.
626
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:53,872
OK.
627
00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:59,712
♪ l don't want you to be there
628
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,634
♪ l don't want you to be any part of my life
629
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:06,188
♪ l just wanna be free, yeah
630
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:11,552
♪ l just wanna be free to get on with my life
631
00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:15,393
(Tape winds to a halt)
632
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,711
Mierda. La batería!
633
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,756
Joder!
634
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,751
Ay!
635
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,516
Baterías...
636
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:31,076
(Bleeping)
637
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,388
Ah!
638
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:40,756
lt's funny, Jen,
coming back here after all these years.
639
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,638
Yeah, this sort of place doesn't change much,
l imagine.
640
00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:45,472
But my memory does. You know.
641
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,438
Rooms aren't where l thought they were.
That sort of thing.
642
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,750
Everything looks different when you're a kid.
643
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:55,356
Yeah. Do you know, l remember once
my parents here having a blazing row.
644
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:59,194
lt was probably about nothing, but to my brother
and l it was the end of the world.
645
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,555
We had visions of our parents splitting up,
646
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,279
and each taking one of us
at the end of the summer.
647
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,240
Of course, by suppertime it was all forgotten.
648
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,635
Well, David, you tell me, mate.
649
00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:17,838
Should parents stay together
for the sake of their kids?
650
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:20,592
l don't know.
651
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:24,639
l think they should stay together
for the sake of each other, frankly.
652
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,240
Every marriage goes through its bad patches.
653
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:33,551
But that's just what they are, by and large -
just patches.
654
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:36,798
Maybe.
655
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,031
You've got to give a marriage time, to find out.
656
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,157
l'm sorry. l didn't mean to interfere. Here.
657
00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:47,800
You should be able to see some seals
from here.
658
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:52,712
Hey! That one looks like Pete's mum.
659
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,711
(Laughs)
660
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:02,638
Oh, yeah! 40-30.
661
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,711
That was uncatchable.
662
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,268
- Match point.
- Anyway, it was out.
663
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,828
- Match punto.
- lt was out.
664
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:10,875
No.
665
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,758
Anyway, the girls are here.
l'd better give them a hand.
666
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,870
♪ CATALANl: Aria from La Wally
667
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:23,638
♪ Ebben? Ne andrò lontana
668
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:28,032
♪ Come va l'eco
669
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,237
♪ Della pia campana...
670
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,914
Hey, no peanuts?
Now, did you get my desserts?
671
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,753
Yeah.
We've got vanilla, chocolate and pistachio.
672
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,718
Pistachio?
l'm not supposed to be that adventurous a cook.
673
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,872
- There you go, mate.
- Oh, cheers. Thanks a lot.
674
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,110
What time do we want to eat?
675
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,272
l'll tell you... Hey, what's happened to that?
676
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,794
- What?
- My Millennium clock.
677
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,030
- That's a quid.
- lt's not working.
678
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:54,348
Time stands still.
679
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,795
Someone took the batteries.
Was this you, David?
680
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,030
Hmm? No, of course not.
681
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,918
You hated this clock,
so who else would take the batteries?
682
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,116
Calm down, Pete. lt's just a clock.
683
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:08,113
Yeah, a clock that was supposed to tell us
when the Millennium was.
684
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,475
Er...l almost hate to say this, but...
685
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:15,270
Just shut it. Just because it wasn't your idea,
you had to go and ruin it, didn't you?
686
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,830
Grow up!
l didn't touch your precious Millennium clock.
687
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,353
Maybe l should keep score.
688
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,352
You know what you are?
A control freak. That's what you are.
689
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,159
Well, you're an ungrateful little shit!
You know that?
690
00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:27,389
Charming.
691
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,677
Have you thanked me once
for organising this holiday? Huh?
692
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:35,516
You obviously have no idea what it involved.
693
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:39,388
You don't just conjure castles out of the air,
you know.
694
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:43,598
No, l used contacts, called in favours,
moved heaven and earth,
695
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,831
to spend the Millennium here
with people l consider friends.
696
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:55,680
l wanted it to be special, something we could
remember and cherish for the rest of our lives.
697
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,193
David, it is special.
698
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,431
Yeah, and we will cherish it.
Or at least remember it.
699
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,273
l even lied about the cost,
so it wouldn't be a burden.
700
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,033
- What, it was more than 500 quid?
- Of course it was.
701
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:10,671
But it doesn't matter. lt's my Millennium present -
not that l was going to tell you.
702
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,274
- David, we'll pay our share.
- What?
703
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,390
lt's not the money, Rachel. lt's the spirit.
704
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,238
And no, Pete, l did not take your batteries.
705
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,514
David, can l have a word?
706
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,033
ls everything all right?
707
00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:33,676
Somebody did.
708
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:50,432
The wind's getting up.
709
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,871
David, l'm really sorry about what l said.
lt wasn't fair.
710
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,793
What? That l'm a control freak?
711
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,316
Yeah, l'd say that was fair.
712
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,152
l can be a pain at times.
713
00:43:09,240 --> 00:43:11,515
Huh! You can?
714
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,830
You're a beginner, mate. l give lessons.
715
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,837
l'm sorry l called you ungrateful.
716
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,673
Hey, you want to talk about fair comment?
717
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:31,949
Look, David, l really appreciate
everything you've done here. l really do.
718
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,749
lt's just that l'm not ungrateful -
l'm ungracious, which is worse.
719
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,070
l really hope we don't fall out over this.
720
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:42,392
You know, Pete,
721
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,711
if we were to meet now,
you know, for the first time,
722
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,473
we wouldn't be friends, would we?
723
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:50,198
You'd think l was a prat.
724
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,510
No. You'd think l was.
725
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,114
Whereas he... is.
726
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:57,793
(David chuckles)
727
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,591
No, well...
728
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:05,798
l mean, we wouldn't be friends,
just because of the way our lives are now.
729
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,519
We wouldn't be having a conversation like this.
730
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:14,716
We're all right, though, aren't we?
731
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,108
Well, l am.
732
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,036
l'm going to be a father again.
733
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,994
Crikey! Congratulations.
734
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,519
(Cheering)
735
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,951
- Not a bad way to see in the New Year.
- How are we gonna see it in?
736
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:40,396
- Oh, we've plenty more champagne.
- But how will we know it's midnight?
737
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:44,553
We could celebrate each time someone's watch
says it's midnight. One might be accurate.
738
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:45,868
Or not.
739
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,474
No, no, it doesn't matter. OK?
740
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:53,031
Like we've always said,
it's just a meaningless moment in time.
741
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:54,951
What, the dawn of the new Millennium?
742
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,952
- Well...
- Mmm...
743
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,514
- That's it. That's what we should do.
- What?
744
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:05,149
- l'm clever. We sit outside under the stars.
- Yes!
745
00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:08,755
Then we'll know it's midnight,
because the Millennium bug'll kick in,
746
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,354
and we'll watch all the planes crashing!
747
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,158
ADAM: No.
748
00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:18,234
We sit there and wait for the new dawn.
You know - the dawn of the year 2000.
749
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,591
What? All night?
750
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,318
What time is it?
751
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,118
Quarter to eight.
752
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,111
Not long now, then.
753
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:39,432
Thank God for that.
lt's enough to freeze your bollocks off here.
754
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,397
Or in my case, bollock.
755
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,436
True.
756
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,675
- Shall we do this again next year?
- Yeah.
757
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:51,709
- No, we can't. We're going to Bali.
- Ooh! That's a little bit special.
758
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,756
Well, it might be special.
759
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,235
ADAM: Welcome to the year 2000, folks.
760
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,636
Happy New Year, Rachel Bradley.
761
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,190
- Happy New Year, Karen.
- Happy New Year.
762
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,352
ADAM: Happy New Year, darling.
RACHEL: Happy New Year.
763
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,790
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year.
764
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,872
RACHEL: Happy New Year.
JENNY: Happy New Year.
765
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:24,520
- Happy New Year, Karen.
- Happy New Year, Jen.
766
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,596
- Happy New Year, Pete.
- Happy New Year, Jen.
767
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:30,511
Happy New Year.
768
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,477
- (Groans)
- Happy New Year, Rachel.
769
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,233
DAVlD: Happy New Year, Jenny.
- You too, mate.
770
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,836
Happy New Year, Jen.
771
00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:44,196
l hope so.
772
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,716
RACHEL: Can we go to bed now?
773
00:47:03,766 --> 00:47:08,316
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